Losing Love Weight: Alexandra Pinkins v Ben Anderson
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 มี.ค. 2023
- Alexandra says Ben became jealous after she lost 100 lbs. and tries to control her every move. Ben says she started going out to the clubs and fears she may have met someone else.
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It’s not the surgery he takes exception to. It’s the simple fact that she looks and feels better about herself, heart issues be damned. An insecure woman is easier to control.
You said it
I agree with you. Why would you not want your partner to do what's healthy for her!!!
He is probably is insure but there’s not one person in this comment section that would accept their other telling them theyre having any kind of surgery right before. Health issues or not, I couldn’t trust her and you wouldn’t either
Ms janay ur gorgeous 💘 have a great day
This!! You said it all 👏
Hiding the wig is an extreme level of control. Dudes who control like this, that’s nothing but fear and insecurity. Hes afraid now she will attract more guys. That’s what it’s really about.
Mr Anderson,You don't mess around with a Woman Health nor Wigs.
@JazzyJeffRealTalk, Not "hiding the wig" 😅😂😅
He could stand to lose some weight,misery loves company....
Right because he is big.
Facts and he’s jealous
Exactly
She is not thin. She is thinner than she was, and he doesn't like it. It's such an unhealthy mindset to be stuck on the way somebody looks versus their health and longevity in life. She doesn't want to die young, he should jump on board, or leave.
He likes big women but he shouldn’t be so focused on looks he should be focused on her heart.
@@DJ-vj4vi exactly! Looks change, and we should be prepared for that in all romantic relationships. If that change makes u fall out of love, ur feelings for them were shallow.
Indeed
There not married she should walk away he is afraid other men will look at her and she will leave him Judge Star told him he better get on board or get left at the station.
He's been served. Get with your Queen's On Point health regime and inner-self exploration 'cause she is full speed ahead: hubby can EITHER get on board OR get out the way.
Walk with confidence, with continued discovery & growth 👑 Sister
X-CUSE any grammatical error's; too tuckered out to self-edit☹️
I’m on a weight loss journey coming from 190 now at 165 I’m still working out and eating right it feels so good 😊
Fairy Queen, I'm very proud of you! You got this!
Go girl 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Yesss!! Go girl!! I was 188 and down to 155-160. I understand and wish you the best in your journey 🤍
Thank you ladies I am!☺️
@@thefreequency congratulations to you as well!
Amazing that she got it done without consulting him because clearly he would have manipulated her into not getting her surgery smh! Now following her to the gurls night out and the tantrum at the restaurant - this is a bye bye situation
Exactly
He is big himself. He may need to get is weight under control before he have heart issues or even diabetes. God Bless you guys!
He keep talkin about himself. Her heart was unhealthy! Either make adjustments with her or move tf on
Obsurd! The fact he thought he could force her to eat more cause he spent too much money on a meal. Damn shame! Also, how he could even fix his mouth to justify her needing to be bigger even though her heart and life was in danger. Run girl!
He sounds very insecure. Maybe he should get healthier?? Stop being so childish!!!
Let's keep it real. He's mad cause she lost weight, got her confidence up, and is no longer all about him. He's insecure and scared he's gonna lose his girl. He wasn't worried about it when she was big. She needs to be single, healthy and do her!! Congrats on the new journey Ms. Pinkins!
He's selfish. Her being happier and healthier is way more important than the body he finds attractive. His priorities are kinda messed up.
If he can't support your journey, or the happiness it brings you, he doesn't love you PERIOD! He thinks he loves her, but it's not love if it's coming from a place that's self serving and controlling.
👏👏👏
That doesn't mean he doesn't love her, but he is letting his insecurities/fear control him.
The fact that he’s upset with her for taking care of herself and making a change for the better is a huge red flag
I see why she cannot communicate with him. He is set in his ways for what he wants...He is very critical!!!
He is not open to her. He seem very manipulative and obsessed with her. I wish them well.
He's JEALOUS AND INSECURE!! He's so afraid she's going to find a REAL MAN, and leave that LITTLE BOY behind!!
She looks very beautiful on the outside, she also has a peaceful vibrant energy that’s what matters most. I hope she has a long healthy life.
If his reasons for his insecurities had to do with a drastic change of behaviour from her, then I’d understand. But his complaints only revolved around the fact that she wanted to eat healthier and that his physical preference was her bigger! Completely unreasonable of him. Her change has probably felt like an attack to his being and lifestyle….
He didn’t think the weight loss was necessary That right there sums up the whole relationship
But who needs his opinion. It’s not medically valid.
Screw his opinion - the DOCTOR'S OPINION is the one that counts!! She needs to leave him behind. She's grown up and he's still a child!!
This is a very intelligent young lady. She chose her health over pleasing him and his desire for her to be overweight and unhealthy. He thought he could prey on her insecurities about her weight, and since he lost that battle he is now insecure that he won't be able to control her. If she had given in to him and his desires to control her this early in their relationship, she would have ended up with a controlling partner, overweight, unhealthy and unhappy.
I had weight loss surgery almost 4 years ago losing almost 100lbs I’m so grateful my husband is supportive of my journey
Congratulations 🎊
He's insecure. Her confidence level has come up and he feels threatened by it.
That happened to me. When I started loving myself, I began changing my lifestyle, starting with my mind. Back between 2002 and 2004, I gained an excessive amount of weight due to the Depo shot. I decided 10 years later to exercise and change what I was eating. Lost the weight. Ex was constantly sabotaging my eating plans and asking me "who I was getting dressed up for."
My answer was always "myself."
He's only depressed because he lost an eating buddy 😂
That’s kinda true.
😂😂😂
He's thinking more of his insecurities than her health💀🤦🏿♀️🙄..queen your beautiful inside and out‼️💯
Congrats to the Alexandra on the weight loss
Bottom Line that man is terrified because his girlfriend looks Fabulous, he needs to get himself together.
Some men don't want you to look thin and fit. But they look at ever other woman that at is! Girl keep doing what your doing. You look beautiful!
Exactly!
He’s WAY too insecure to handle her at her best. Feels like her really doesn’t have her best interest at heart. That is dysfunction not love ❤
This man is unreasonable.
It bring me back to when I was having boob reduction surgery for my back pain, all my male friends were like no your boobies are gorgeous and my female friends didn't support me, I was alone in it but only I knew how it affected me so I went ahead and schedule my appointment without telling anyone and ask a guy I was dating to pick me up at a certain location and he was in shock when he got to the clinic that that's what I went to do but I told him like I told everybody else it wasn't for them it was for me, 7 years later I feel great, I'm much lighter, I don't have to hold my breast when I run or buy 36ddd bras that I gotta sew to make fit my medium back. So ladies sometimes you're the only one who understand your journey and accept that you might be alone going through it and so be it
Wow, you're brave for doing what's RIGHT for you 🙌🏾.
Funny thing, I grew up wishing I had big boobs, now I have My Son and My Boobs are bigger, I'm thanking God I didn't have big boobs to begin with 😂
@@janee3841 lol if I didn't have the surgery they'd be a 36ddd long right now so I still stand by my decision but I understand where you're coming from
It’s crazy that your friends didn’t support you…especially the female ones
@@Burlykim13 it happens, as long as you believe in what you want that's all that matters but look, the moral of the story is that I'm excited about my choice even years later.
Ain't no way in the world i'm going to a restaurant, and spend $200 dollars on a meal, that's half a month worth of groceries , THAT"S INSANE
I want your grocery list. I spend more than $200 a WEEK!
$200 for half a month? Where are you shopping? Even when I was single I spent more
@@nannynewsviews542= Walmart & I live alone
🙄 I shop my pantry, meal plan, budget, and spend MAYBE $70 every other week. What are you guys EATING 😂😂😂😂😂
Just say you ain’t got it
She was killing it in both pictures; she's a gorgeous woman❤❤❤
HOW CAN ANYTHING BE ROMANTIC , ABOUT A MAN SO DAMN FEARFUL, HE COULD LOSE SOME WEIGHT HIMSELF, SMH 💯
I dont think that he's solely worried about losing her. She is beautiful and healthy which is important. But, she was a baddie when she was bigger. I know a lot of men who love bigger/plus sized women. 🤷🏽♀️ he liked her look. I don't think he should discourage her, but he may miss her being that shapely.
@@MsBizzyRae but being bigger was a danger to her so he rather her put her life in danger because he likes bigger girl? that's selfish of him
@@Darline_ox I wouldn't call him selfish...it may just take him some time to get used to her slimmer body. I'm sure that he prefers her healthier. But, some men like curvy women. It just is what it is. 🤷🏽♀️ hopefully they get through this.
@@MsBizzyRae I would definitely call him selfish. And the way he's coming after her at hotel rooms and trying to force her to eat speaks more to him being fearful that now that she's amazing looking she's going to leave him then him actually wanted her to gain the way because he liked her better that way.
@@serious7179 you're entitled to your opinion, but she looks amazing both ways. I'm glad she's healthy and loves how she looks now. BUT, I know a ton of men who would prefer her how she was before lol so if he wasn't worried then, i can't see him being worried now losing her now. 🤷🏽♀️
She looks good before but looks great now. He's insecure and scared to lose her but will do nothing but push her away. If he can't support you and your journey to be a better version of yourself, then he's got to go! He is not the one!!!!
If she marries him he will only get worse. She better run.
This was hard to listen to because I fell off my weight loss journey. This encourages me to get back on.
Get back on you can do it. I was 234 and now I’m 169 and going. Don’t ever give up. Good luck to sweetheart
She looks damn goodt! You go girl!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🖤🖤🖤
I was in the same position as Alexandra 18 years ago. My former boyfriend dump me because he needed space or so I thought. He got married the next year and contact me in 2009 through Facebook. When broke up I lost 15 pounds. In 2009, I lost 30 pounds. He told me that the reason he could not continue the relationship with me is that I was losing too much chunky. He told me I needed to get my chunky. I told him that he can look at the chunky that he married. Yes, she is bigger than me to this day.
Every time he see her..its a reminder to him about his weight.
So you didn't feel the need to tell your husband you was going to a party but if the roles were reversed that's your wife why wouldn't you tell her where you were going what the fuck is going on in this world the double standards are beyond me?
Judge Star face when she was telling the wig story was everything!! 😂 Cause she know she be slaying those wigs she wear..like you go as far to hide her wig?! He seems to have some esteem issues he needs to deal with
I don’t understand what’s so difficult to understand here..? She had a change of life situation where she could have lost her life and decided better of it. Cool! If you cannot get behind this necessary change and support the person you’re with then you leave. Am I missing something?
No it’s not difficult to understand he is just manipulative
He sounds like he's jealous of her, if he lost his weight he wouldn't even be talking to her like that he would be excited. He's definitely going to push her in the hands of another man treating her that way.
He is intimidated by her growth. 😤
She’s fly as can be
He thought he was gonna control, not her self esteem is amazing 🙏🏾💯!
Please please for the sake of your health mentally and physically leave this man I have been in your shoes but worse I'm still correcting the damage having that much weight did to my body.
I think he’s afraid of losing her and that’s the reason why he accepted her the way she was in the beginning if he can’t support her or her healthy journey then maybe they need to go they separate ways because I don’t see this going no further than where it is💯✌🏾
You hit the nail on the head. He’s afraid. And will not accept change.
He's going to lose her!! She wants to get healthy and feel better about herself and he's trying to help me her back. She's going to get tired of his jealousy and insecurities and find a man who appreciates her!!
What you don't do is mess with no women's BLACK hair ❤❤
Not even that, it was just a control thing he had
Right Judge was fairly cool up until that point. As a wig wearer myself, I understand completely…
She looks amazing & he doesn’t like she is “feeling herself”. I see right through him.
He's too insecure. Boy bye
Don't ever waste your time with someone who doesn't wanna see you get better and better. She wanted to save her life, and this dude is mad. Boy BYEEEEEEEE
Any human being that wants to control any part of ur life and what u do is not the person u may want to b with. He seems to be concerned with food a lot. He needs to get health and not try to control another grown adult. If ur a couple doesn't mean I have to do what u say or how u want me to do things. It's childish to even think this way.
I applaud and salute any man , any woman who wants to be health live a happy long healthy life . He's not in love with the better healthy version of her he is controlling either buddy can go to the gym get healthy and stronger train or he get left behind at the station
Hey DC famz... hope all is well and everyone is in good health and many blessings on blessings! ❤❤❤
Same to you 😊
Thanks! Same to you!
He feels threatened by the fact that she lost weight and feels more secure and confident. She should leave him he's not a good support system for her
The whole episode was about her weight. They should've talked about more things. I dont think they should end the relationship though. Judge gotta spice it up a little bit more. Judge toler had her questions in order.
Good on you girl! I grew up on southern food, BBQ and all the fixings and judge Star is right, it isn't easy to keep a thin figure with that food. It's a shame your man doesn't support you. He could put the BBQ sauce on the side and serve greens and beans without a stick of butter. Hold the bread occasionally.
Not he hid her wig yeah he crossed the line🤣🤣
Starr said something I think people don’t think about. People may not be who you think they are. This woman is possibly a free spirit and wants to participate in activities that single women do. She wasn’t able or didn’t think she was able to do so because of the weight. Now that the weight is gone, the inhibition is too.
Brother let her go so she can explore whatever she thinks she missed when she was grossly obese.
He wanted her to stay big because her self esteem was low and he can easily control her
She should have told him and involved him in the process. She refuses to take accountability for the mess she is in.
Time for him to move on. She does not care how he feels.
Man no he's very insecure Abt how she lost weight he didn't want her to lose anything because he's knows she's more confident and he's knows she's gonna go further in life
It's the communication he has a problem with and bring Lynn Toler back bc Star Jones ain't it
He’s mad she’s disciplined enough to stick to her diet 👎🏾🙄
He's Just insecure Since She Lost the Weight, that's why he hid the Wig, Wow 😳 and Congratulations to Her!!
BOTTOM LINE - SHE LOSING WEIGHT AND HE'S GAINING WEIGHT. HE'S SCARED SHE'S GOING TO DROP HIM.
It's alot of buts. Sir it's heart disease. Being heavier is not more important.
my friend had bypass & I understand the weirdness of the not eating at the restaurant. Their stomach has literally been CUT in HALF. It is weird I'm not gonna lie but its not to the point I'm gonna be upset.
He can go
Now, if his gurl saw his location at a hotel, she would have flipped and showed up too. I'm not sure how I feel about this case. I'm happy she lost the weight for herself and is healthy. I hope he finds a way to accept her journey and support her on it. I get he misses who is met, but we all change in some way.
I was thinking that. I think it would be better to be honest about where you guys plan to go.
Exactly @msBizzyRae
@@ceded6543 yes!
People evolve. He misses who he met because he himself hasn’t change. They were in the same path before, now they’re not. He should follow in her footsteps. Go to the gym with her, eat like her for a few days in the week etc. I bet he’ll start to feel better about himself and cool out on the insecurities.
I think if she communicated with him it would have helped resolve some of his issues.
Sounds like he was already an insecure, fragile individual before she took control of her health and is even worse now, he's a hindrance to her. He needs to go find another codependent big girl since she's found her confidence
This episode is why some men don't go to counseling. Their fear is that the entire discussion is one-sided... against them!
This isn’t counseling lol. In a real setting there isn’t just one side.
He was being a selfish child and would rather have his Woman die than lose weight and look different.. There is no other side.
Why you say he wasn't heard
He was not heard at all
He was heard but it didnt make sense. she was going to DIE if she did not get the surgery or lose weight. Her heart was pumping irregular hello? She supposed to risk her life cause “thats what he like” .. if he dont like her looks anymore he can leave. She did what she needed to do for HER life and HER health.
She didn't tell him because of his responses on this show.
The wig part!!🤦🏾♀️😡🤦🏾♀️ That's beyond crossing the line!
I think if he was included in the weight loss surgery process, it could of given him time to adapt to his cooking and eating ways. I’m not sure if they were living with each other during the process but for the people I knew that were about to do the surgery, they LET IT BE KNOWN to people around them.
Yep! He said first it was the communication.
Words of wisdom, She who has health has hope and this is so true. I'm on a weight loss journey and it's so hard but I'm so happy she's doing it.
I
Think I needed to hear this ❤ thank u for this case 🙏
It really wont hurt him to change his eating habits either. He's just afraid of losing her now. Dude, just match her energy so you can both be better!
Why is everyone jumping on his case? He may be wrong but she didn't tell him where she was going and she went right past the judge asked her why doesn't she communicate. Its takes two to be in a relationship. They both wrong and need to come to an understanding.
I don’t know why she’s with him! He’s way too controlling, insecure, unsupportive and manipulative.
Ms. P (plaintiff) your shoes are straight banging!!! I love them. God bless you. 😍
I appreciated this allot and it’s inspiring me to take my own health seriously
I get wer he is coming from but if he loved her like that he would understand her health reasons. If he loves cooking find healthier alternatives that he can make for her with his southern recipes. Or find restaurants that r suitable for her health m
I can’t with the banging the gavel over the wig! 😆😂😂
Love her!
Weight INCREASES over the years so if you are a 100 pounds overweight it's better to choose to get rid of it while you are younger
He's a jerk! It's not even about the weight loss..... He just doesn't want her to do ANYTHING outside of him! She needs to GO, it's only gonna get worse!
They both seem nice I hope they can get it together.
He is sabotaging her growth..
Brotherman needs to step up! He needs to move forward or get off and let her go. Everyone has their own divine timing for self growth and leveling up...he could use a little weight check himself... looking at his pot belly 😆 lol YOU LOOK FANTASTIC SISTER! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Ive seen alot of folks lose weight and get cocky and arrogant they go to pointing out shit you nees to work on lol😂😂😂😂like damn u gone switch up on me like that
Yeah people be like that. I went from 400 to 145 and people didn't like that.
Damn! Judge said with your greens, macaroni & cheese and fried chicken.. lol
He keeps saying that she "doesn't talk to me about the weight loss - she talks to her friends!" Because you don't support her!! You constantly try to sabotage her!! You're JEALOUS BECAUSE SHE LOOKS BETTER THAN YOU!!!
Sure, the brother seemed insensitive to her health needs, but improved health and weight loss doesn't justify changing who you are and how you move as an individual. Biased advice from Jones.
I’m nobody’s therapist, but here I go: he may not have realized this, but he’s afraid that her lifestyle change is going to result in new options and preferences that exclude him. She doesn’t eat like he does anymore. She isn’t heavy like he is anymore. Her size was a sense of comfort and security for him. So he’s wondering what would make her stay with him any longer.
Dude is a decent supportive man but he’s become a bit controlling because he’s insecure. He’s insecure because this lady doesn’t communicate major plans, she’s going out more and tells half truths. The judge isn’t looking at the entire picture because she’s enamored with this lady’s weight lose journey.
The insecurity role has flipped. She was easier to control when she was insecure, but now that it's him that the insecure one, he's not "in love". FOH
Ms. Pinkins, you know good damn well you have no business being with this man. Your mindsets are different. That man trying to kill you physically, mentally and emotionally.
He doesn’t like the more confident and outgoing version of her.
That’s childish with hiding her wig… he is not happy the fact she’s looking better. He wants her weight to be like his.. He knows he can be replaced hence why he’s acting the way he is.
I love judge star, she is a living testimony and such a motivational and amazing person ❤️🙏🏿bless your heart
He’s operating out of fear of losing her. When a partner is changing sometimes it build insecurities in their partner it’s unfortunate but it happens
Wow that lady has lost over 200+ lbs to me that would be a big accomplishment I would have complimented her embraced her cause that's a big accomplishment keep it up lady!😊
Insecurity is poison, it makes you think and do all sort of stupidity.🎯