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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.ย. 2024
- Original source: Major Payne 1995
[40K] When the Imperial Guard win the War (Astra Militarium)
#warhammermemes #imperialguard #astramilitarum #warhammer40k #warhammer40kmemes #warhammer40000 #horusheresy
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I'd be *immensely* impressed if anyone can ID the song at the end.
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It sounds so familiar... RDR, perhaps? Starcraft?
Gunz the duel main menu theme
@@Razyrazer a man of culture as well i see. I can feel the carpal tunnel coming back
Gunz the Duel, babyyy recognized it immediately
Why is the General saying:
_"Do you know why you're here, sir, no, sir."_
But it's actually Major Payne.
Shouldn't the text be spaced out so the General's portion is:
_"Do you know why you're here?"_
Then when it cuts to Major Payne:
_"Sir, no sir!"_
“You’ve survived three battles, Major; we honestly don’t know what to do with you. We never thought someone would make it this far.”
The Kriegers have their own Stormtrooper units: The Grenadiers. They're Kriegers who've survived multiple battles. That means they're people that made it to the other trench and killed the enemy faster than they could kill them. They are very *very* dangerous people.
@thebighurt2495 and usually armed with not a great deal more than a flashlight, some strong firecrackers, and a bad attitude.
Tanithians looks at that comment with contempt.
@@Tommy1977777 to be fair it's a supped up flashlight
@@Tommy1977777 Plus One Blood Stained Shovel And Mounted Bayonet.
Assign this man to the nearest krieg regiment
Hell, make him a commisar immediately he definitely shoot deserters
@@michaelsouslin891 deserters? in a krieg regiment? you sounding like a heretic
@@michaelsouslin891 youre just as likely to get fragged by a krieger who is unwilling to wait a moment longer to bayonet charge the enemy titans.
@@ChillAssTurtle for sum reason I can see a whole battalion of krieg charging a titan then when they get to it climbing on each other's shoulders like the Keebler elves so they can reach the pilot and finish them with brass knuckles 😆
Number 404!
In 40k there’s always somebody that needs some killing lmao
I'm sorry Major, you killed them all.
@@saintsinningsword i would just assume he's a heretic and kill him on the spot.
@@saintsinningsword We did it boys, Warhammer 40k is no more
That part is got me burst to tiers lol😂
@@ChillAssTurtle call for the Inquisitor...
I love how this implies he fought and killed every single enemy in 40k himself.
He must be from Catachan
@@thebighurt2495he his even more dangerous, he’s part Cadian and part Catachanian. With training from both planets.
@@peterhannesson1452 He can knife fight Giant insects *and* demons
@@peterhannesson1452and was trained on krieg
If he‘d be present he’d hold Cadia together in one hand and smack this Abadon fella with the other.
With Major Payne in the guard, we could disband the Space Marines.
The only soldier that can kill while telling a bed time story.
That's heresy, soldier.
@@judgeboony2695 you have no faith
Na I'm keepin' the salamanders and maybe the lamenters
Yeah, because giving them a time out worked out sooooo well the last time.
Major Payne would adapt very well to the 40k universe.
In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, there is always somebody that needs some killing.
Even just a little killin'
@@richardhaselwood9478give the man some xeno to kill, look at how he suffers
Guardsmen 5 hours into their 15 hours life expectancy when the enemies of mankind are defeated and chaos is no more: well shit. That was easy.
Grey Knights: Indeed Guardsman, now come into this tent to receive your Medal of Honor!
Too bars it’s been raining since they stopped killing, raining blood.
'Guardsman'- "Well SH*T I lucked out! As soon as get back home to my hive world, I'm going to let my ex know I'm alive, and dig into a big bowl of corpse fat sauteed meat!"
...too easy...
@@dragonsword7370 Then the Grey Knights show up
I just pictured a bunch of Kriegers working on an agri-world, tending to endless fields of vegetables with their shovels.
"Is this Hell?"
@@Grubnar "Maybe"
Fitting as Fredrick the Great was supposed to have ordered the planting of potatoes as a food crop at gunpoint. They will bring advanced agricultural techniques to all corners of the Imperium.
By Any Means Necessary.
Krieger is digging the foundation for a barn when he suddenly throws his intrenchment tool to ground, falls to his knees and screams, "I feel nothing... I FEEL NOTHING!!!"
@@leihamada4672
Pretty sure they already felt nothing at all, other than ruthless determination. Heavy indoctrination and all the chemicals pumped into their bodies did the trick.
I loved when Comissar Payne told the story of the little Baneblade that could.
Chugga chuggachuggachugga chugga chuggachuggachugga, toot-toot!
Heretics rigged the bridge with promethium..
@@bigyeticane this little baneblade mission was to take some laz-guns and a nuke pay load to the 26th battional
@@wb7585All of a sudden, Cultists was all over the place! Just me an my las pistol an I had no other alternative but to blast my way out.
@@billyteflon1322 I looked at one of the wounded Astartes and said, "Battle Brother Bubba.. unless you go comatose and enter in a Dreadnought, you ain't gonna make it!".
Im convinced major Payne exists in an alternate universe where HE created world peace.
If Curze could do it, Payne could do it
@@chucklytell Payne wouldn't have half-assed it.
@@nonya1366 "he rushed through the dimlit alley, knowing that the Major knew. He always knew. Then from the shadows came the sound all had grown to dread....EH-HEH EH-HEH EH-HEH..."
@@chucklytell The imperial guard from that planet would beat catachans in hand to hand, and outshoot the cadians. And make the Imperial Army proud.
He figured out how.
The Cadian took the end of the war better than the Catachan did...
Commissar: "This war is over, you hear me? It's over!"
Jungle Fighter: "Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off!"
"You asked me, I didn't ask you!"
@@Grubnar"Back then we had a code you watch my back I watch yours!"
"For the Emperor's Sake, PLEASE DON"T SEND ME HOME!"
I need a fan film of Rambo movies set in Warhammer 40k
"You're the last of an elite regiment. Don't end it like this."
I think this is actually pretty realistic. Imagine getting recruited, travelling the stars, fighting abject horrors in cities that reach the stratosphere, defying death, watching your comrades die, and then if peace miraculously came, they'd be like "Hey, good job, we'll ship you back to the Feudal World you came from so you can resume your life as a potato farmer".
It would be a harsh thing indeed to go back to a small life, after learning your own capabilities, as well as the scope of the universe.
I would be more troubled by seeing most of the people i met there die like dogs in some warzone.
That's when you escape to the nearest hive world, create a new fake identity for yourself (no one will find out since there are so many people there that nobody can make a good population census) and re-enlist in the Imperial Guard.
Sometimes they don't even get shipped back. They're just sort of left on whatever world they last conquered/reclaimed/defended.
If you are lucky enough then you at least get to have the fun of training new recruits and doing PDF things.
Imperium of Man - "The largest exporter of PTSD"
The funny thing this, this is the worse case scenario for the shovel boys
This is the best possible ending for Krieg. This means they are finally relieved of their debt to the imperium.
Terranis Stands!
Indeed, Terranis Holds. It warms the heart to see another remember it.
@@aidenknadan1264 I still love the idea that Kriegers reincarnate and occasionally get a life off on Terranis before they go back in the trenches again.
@@thequestbro Krieg paid their dept to the Imperium generations ago. The only reason they keep going, is because it is the only way they know of how to keep going.
Krieg has no economy to speak of, they have nothing to export other than Guardsmen.
Sly Marbo after he destroyed the entire Tyranid Swarm singlehandedly:
Anytime I'm fustrated or just worndown, I ask myself "what would Payne do?" I don't do it, usually, but it makes me feel better.
WWPD; if violence isn't in the answer somewhere, it's not a Major Payne answer. I applaud you for not following through, lol!
Oh come on guys, they're just dummy grenades.
**genade takes out a tree**
Whoosh the dummy nee-yow!
When warhammer becomes peacehammer 40k
a warhammer story about dealing with gigaptsd in the post grimdark universe where nids crons and chaos somehow got their teeths kicked in by the imperium
@@KalashVodka175 "Somehow"
The might of the imperial guard beating the shit out of the extradimensional, every outer-universal, and every in-universal horror happens more then once.
Everything that can be killed with a lasgun is extinct now afterall.
I feel like the only chance of this happening is a massive team up to destroy chaos
@@danielwoods3896 the problem is there's at least 3 different other threats out there willing to eat the imperium.
The orks.
The tyranids
And the necrons.
The eldar aren't going to destroy the imperium, but they'll certainly not make it easy. The t'au are a corruptive force in the fact they'll give menials 'rights' and that's dangerous to the imperium as well.
Ironically when that happens it probably turns on itself
The Aquila symbol on their insignia is an amazing touch
I noticed that too. Good eye!
Very cute addition.
I haven't killed a man in TWO WEEKS. I love Major Payne!
"Be advised, ladies. We are going to win the Astra Militarum Games this year! You will note my emphasis on the word WIN: Whisky! India! November! Get used to the sound of that word!" - Major Payne
Ah yes blood bowl, always fun times.
I'm gonna make you strong.
Astartes: We are in need of support! Where is the guard reinfrocment?!
Major Payne shows up, Lasgun in hand.
Major Payne: The guard takes it from here, son.
Proceeds to win the war on his own. Refuses to elaborate further. Leaves.
Just your average Cadian/Catachan/Krieger/Valhallan/Armageddon/Mordian moment.
That's what happens most of the times tbf, Astartes win battles but the Guard will win the war.
@Eisenwulf666 Vraks in a nutshell. The Kriegers spent a decade and somewhere between 2-5 million casualties, but by the Emperor, they were doing it. They'd punched through the enemy defenses and had driven the enemy back to their last holdout cities.
Then the Chaos Marines showed up. They wiped out the Krieger Vanguard and drove them back almost to square one. Finally, an Astartes ship showed up, the Dark Angels. They dropped into the enemy capital, attacked their spaceport and left.
The Krieger Field Marshal was like, "Well, crap." They dug in and held out until another Chapter showed up and turned the tide. Then that Chapter claimed credit for the victory... with the Guard's valuable assistance, of course.
Imperial Guard Commander: "Tell the cavalry that the Men have arrived!"
Refuses to elaborate further, gets investigated by the Inquisition for heresy and comes out of there unharmed with an official excuse.
The nightmare of every Kireg boy.
Or ork boy.
The film may be a by the numbers family/military comedy but Daman Wayans utterly commits to the role and is comedy gold.
It’s true. It’s his best movie. He is perfect in it.
When you kill the enemies of mankind so well even the fastest and luckiest warp jump cant get you to the nearest enemy left alive before you die of old age.
*SUFFERING FROM SUCCESS*
A lucky warpjump would bring you back in time when enemies still lived in that case
@@i3lackfusion Black Legion marines in a battle 10 years ago:
"Its that blasted Commisar! Well at least theres only one!"
An older bearded and smiling ear to ear second commisar appears.
Second Black Legion marine:
"By the Gods brother, shut up!"
0:38 The closest Payne has ever come to expressing grief.
Hungry for action…
Hungry for blooood…
Hell, I’m just plain ol hungry.
Cooks squig and over a fire in the corner and snarls at a Grot causing it to flee
Then a few weeks later he is wanted as the new yarrick like guy.
Its always the way he looks sad when he says "Gotta be someone that needs some killing."
Imagine waiting your whole life to be in the Great War, and doing a lieutenant Dan.
General: "ok just go into the Eye of Terror and bring me Khorne's Head."
Major: "I've already done that."
General: "Wait what?"
Major: "His Head is right there" * points at a bloody Couch down the Hallway *
Commissar Payne to the Ogryn that just joined his group: “fee fye foe fum what beanstalk did you come from”.
You calling me a liar?
Major Payne is the man that Sly Marbo wishes he could be.
Major Benson Winifred Payne should be up there with Sly Marbo as an epic hero with a special rule called, "Want me to show you a little trick to take your mind off that pain?"
The Sister of battle remove hand from orphan boys hand
Imagine being a krieger, you were trained for war your entire life, it was all you were prepared and taught to do, and after years when you finnaly embark with your regiment towars some Xenos planet, suddenly a ship wide broadcast is made, saying the Emperor has returned and all of Humanity's enemies were defeated and Astra Militarum is being redeveloped into a simple peace keeping force bruh.
"Peace" might be the single most devastating word too the Warhammer 40k universe, bar none.
That is how they get teachers for the Schola Progenia
Yes, except that Major Payne is way nicer and kinder to the cadets under his care then all the other drill abbots are.
when the emperor rises from the throne, kicks chaos and the xenos in the balls and gives krieg their honorable discharge.
Until you realize ol' Big E would slaughter the kriegers for worshipping a God. When the Emperor reawakens, many of his "devotees" will be killed for rejecting the Imperial Truth.
Major Payne is well-known to be the ancient Terran ancestor of Sly Marbo.
In the fabulous future of the year 40000 there is only peace
"Just kidding Major, Armageddon will always have Orks. Their Cadets need drilling"
Average commissar faces retirement....
When theres a statue of you in every world because youve killed every single enemy of mankind in the segmentum.
Suffering from success
Then the orks want you as the new yarrick
Horus if he didn't turn traitor.😂
I didn't expect Gunz online login screen riff in the end there. You just hit me with thousands of memories.
"As long as there are two people left on this world, someone wants another person dead" - The Sniper from TF2
Guardsman: wins a battle.
Command: congratulations, you just became the schwerpunkt. Now we will fire all of our artillery on top of your position in hopes of creating a breakthrough.
Thousand sons before the Horus heresy: "Wow, fantastic, I've been looking forward to making wine on my vineyard and writing books about my experiences"
mate as long as there two people in the galaxy somebody is going to want somebody dead
Major Payne: "But Colonel there are a dozen different wars going on at any one time! Heck there's a wargoing on in the neighboring space sector!"
Colonel: "Yes but it would be slightly more expensive to transport a dozen veteran troops from this space sector then it would be to raise 2 dozen cannon fodder conscripts locally in that sector"
Major Payne: "Daaaanng, thats grimdark"
😢 "surely, there's got to be somebody needs killin'?"
Blackwater has entered the chat
Payne is the most enlisted officer to ever grace the Corps
Out of all the movies and TV shows I've seen turned into 40k memes, never in my life did I think I'd see Major Payne.
there will always be another crusade, another expansion, another expedition and another glory to take for the Emperor!
After the war send him to the Deathwatch.
Side Note: Anyone else notice the Aquila that both the General and the Major were wearing?
poor lad herds PDF now
Dang, this Sly Marbo teaser is so good!
this brought back some happy childhood memories of awesome movies ^.^
The galaxy broke before Payne did.
Love that u had the attention to detail to put the aquila on their collars
"I'm sorry Major...you've killed them all."
*feels*
Major.......killll......? I have summoned the Eldar loving human chaos guy.
The Emperor suffers in agony on the Golden Throne...
Commissar Payne: Want me to show you a little trick to take your mind off that pain?
Don't worry Guard guy. There is ALWAYS more war somewhere in the Imperium.
*Kriegsman waking up dripping in sweat.*
"Thank the Emperor it was just a dream."
Mann, that GunZ hub music at the end gave me nostalgy
“Finally Win the War” might be the single funniest Warhammer joke I’ve ever heard.
Damn, that GunZ theme in the end hit hard
Send him to Catachan, should keep him happy for a couple of months
And after constant, dark rumination, the Major leapt into the Eye of Terror armed with only his field knife.
Khorne: "Did I hear a super hardened murder machine looking a place to belong?"
No one going to mention the gunz the duel main menu theme in the end
God damn, a man of culture right here
Magor Vincent Williford Payne "KILLIN IS MY BUSINESS LADIES AND BUSINESS IS GOOOOOD"
Man, was that the Gunz The Duel song at the very end with payne laying in bed?
Oh man, those were the days. Thanks for the flood of nostalgia.
There was a time in 30k, where this actually was a fear the legions had.
there's always the Space Marines. they *are* mutants after all.
LOL! Love that Movie!
Hungry for crusade. Hungry for exterminatus. Hel, I was just plain hungry. *grills corpse starch*
(Payne confronted by a huge daemon)
Payne: Fee fi fo fum, which warp hole did YOU fall from?
When Sly Marbro is forced to retire, but then proceeds to enter the eye of terror and do more killing
"You all have time for a tea and an extra ration bar.
Then time to get on a transport for the next fight. Heard its the Drukhari."
Major Commisar Payne. Total commisar vibes.
Shrek closing book and laughing: yeah, like thats ever going to happen
He killed all the Chaosites and heretics, he was retired. But how wrong they were, when they learnt that a swarm of Theranids was coming to the galaxy. Then the major Payne was happy again, destroying swarm after swarm...
The little astartes that could ft major payne
Literally if the Imperium runs of people to fight they'd probably collapse.
Low key one of the best moments of how the military/ government doesn’t need you afterwards.
This fits with the canon that most senior enlisted aren't promoted over a course of a lengthy career but a battle at a time where only the most lethal survive. Lots of upward mobility when the death chance is near 100%
Kinda do wonder if any of the armies in 40k have even planed on what to do if the war did end
GunZ the Duel main menu music at the end is a nice touch
His business is killing and business is good.
Now I ask why 40k hasn’t ripped off Major Payne like every other iconic military movie or comedy?
Never thought I'd see that style of dressing in the Imperium.
"we did it, we won the War(hammer 40k)!"
Catachan edit coming, when he breaks down in his room 🤣🤣🤣
That would require the emperor to step off the golden throne and start purging the imperium of man of a lot of dead weight.
At least one bright side in the 40k universe: militaries are never at risk of unemployement...
There are gonna be a lot of motorcycle gangs once the great war is over...
the GunZ music whipped me back 20 years
The Gunz Theme at the end hit me hard.
Send him into the Eye of Terror. He'll make quick work of what's in there
"You've killed them all"
I know I loved this movie as a kid and watched it dozens of times but I really don't think I appreciated how batshit hilarious that line is until just now.
He killed the enemies of the USA so thoroughly that not only are their not any enemies right NOW...there aren't even any threats on the horizon to keep him around for. Major Payne snuck up on the world's spawn point for threats to America and snapped its neck while it was sleeping.
Holy shit I am dying
Decides to start a civil war within the Imperium itself to keep killing hahaha.
Jesus the music at the end jumpscared me with nostalgia. I remember playing GunZ and Counter-Strike after school with my classmates. That felt like a dick made of nostalgia just super soaking me with 20 year old memories. 🥲