ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ค. 2023
- [40k] The Perfect Imperial Guardsmen (Astra Militarum)
Original source: Malcolm in the Middle, Season 5 Episode 21
#warhammermemes #imperialguard #astramilitarum #warhammer40k #warhammer40kmemes #warhammer40000 #horusheresy
SEO stuff
The Astra Militarum, also known as the Imperial Guard in colloquial Low Gothic, is the largest coherent fighting force in the galaxy and serves as the Imperium of Man's primary military force and first line of defence from the myriad threats which endanger the existence of the Human race in the 41st Millennium.
It is comprised of countless billions of men and women -- hundreds of thousands of different regiments, supported by a vast array of light and heavy armoured vehicles that provide the Guard's primary offensive punch. The Astra Militarum are usually the first Imperial force to respond to a threat if a world's Planetary Defence Force (PDF) fails to suppress it. - เกม
Enough mental function not to be classified as servitor.
Not enough mental function to get the grasp of taint by chaos.
Perfectly balanced - like all thing should be.
- Drill Sergeant Thanitos
Could be a great hero of the imperium..
We are weapons. There is the Emperor, and there is war. Nothing more.
We get chosen for war.
Basically, Ferrik Jurgen
@@aocg1914 He is not a hero of the Imperium.
He is but a tool of the Emperor's WIll.
An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded
Did the bloodravens say that?
Perfect 😂
@@pavma7 It's one of the Imperium's Thought of the Day proverbs. For blessed is the mind too small for doubt.
That game was the stuff of greatness
BROTHER I AM PINNED HERE
That soldier might live upwards of 20 seconds on the field. A hero for the ages.
He is the invincible soldier. You know nothing about Reese the Terrible. Be warned.
@Bandog memelore or not, i dont think that the astra militarum is known for its high survival rate. sure they arent death korps or a penal legion, but i am pretty sure the average soldier doesnt survive more than a handful of deployments
Most Imperial Guardsmen never get to see an ork in their life. In fact most never get to fire a shot in a battlefield. That how big Astra Militarum is and also due how it is ran. Soldiers whom proved themselves in battlefield often get to prove themselves again and again until they are dead or just forget how to die. (It is more economic to spend millions of credits to transport a vet that can win fight than a noobie that died in 10sec)
Damn near veteran status. What a champ.
UNDERRATED comment
He's like the smartest, smallest Ogryn that has ever been born. Too stupid to be corrupted by chaos but smart enough to listen to his commissars exactly.
Actually he may be material to commissar himself, you see commissars are maybe the most "obey without question" people around, only people who have absolute diregard for, themselves, anything and anyone else, except the orders of the imperium and the law can become commissars.
I pointed this out in another comment but he's also probably too stupid to realize if the commissar ORDERING him has been corrupted by chaos or otherwise fallen.
The commissar would start screeching about the Four Armed Emperor and he'd be like "guess I've been wrong my whole life about how many arms Big E has and also sir yes sir I'm bombing the ecclesiarchy now"
@@Banthisyoutubeor Yarrick. One man does not simply give Yarrick orders, not even Space murines Chapter Masters.
Its HIM who gives the orders.
@@Banthisyoutube yeah, if you ask me (but always gets downvoted everywhere), GW should shift the poster boys from Space Marines to Imperial Guard, at least for 5 years or so.
We desperately need proper Catachans, and Tallarn would be the next best Regiment to bring back as ambusher specialists and snipers.
I'm really liking 10th edition coming from 7th, but missing almost all special characters from the guard hurts.
@@Banthisyoutube the thing is, Catachans makes perfect sense as a killteam vs tyrannids, and their own datacard like we have (but reworked and expanded) so they focus more on melee/close combat.
They just happen to be excellent rulewise for the guard as cheap alternative to Ogryns. The problem with Tanith is they kinda have the same role as Tallarn. I'd rather get Tallarn instead, as cool as both are.
From there we just can only pray the Emperor we get everyone back, but chances are non-existent.
Oh wow, Tzeench would HATE this kid 😅
Khorne would love him.
Though, Khorne would love Reese with his brain or not, honestly.
Nurgle would love him though. No thoughts, no concept of desire or discontentment. No care for how shitty a situation is, leave him alone and he'll just sit there...
Apparently, you've never heard of a Rubric Marine.
Tzeench: "Just think about what you're doing for a goddamn second!"
Guardsman setting an ancient library on fire: "No."
@Micah Sheldon then he forces his mind to think in an infinite number of ways.
Well, we now know for sure the cast from "Malcolm in the Middle" would fit right into WH40K.
It says more about the show than we realized.
It is fertile ground, to be certain. Hal and Stewie (corrected: Dewey) would both be great chaos demons.
@@gregwessendorf Did you mean Dewey? Or Stevie?
Lois would have made a great Commissar. Maybe Hal too...if he was the Ciaphus Cain variety.
The mom would make a great inquisitor! And that kid in the wheel chair is an adeptus mechanicus!
@@donnylurch4207 Dewey. I got my wires crossed
*Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.*
The drill sergeant almost crying with happiness "omg, a soldier like you comes around once in a thousand years.." 😢😢
So there's only been 12 like him.
yeah, i saw that in the video
In 40K time a la 2 weeks.
@@dragoscuelebre1878 😂
This is what all Ogryn strive to achieve.
I don't know, I think all Ogryn strive to achieve _dinner._ It's definitely what their commanders strive to achieve though.
Why is everybody ignoring the imperium bed sheet?
Thats top quality editing.
I noticed that detail too 😂
*Manifests minor Psyker powers*
"To the throne with you private sacrifice!"
Private Sacrifice: "Yes Drill Sargent"
Could totally see Reese being the Makari of the Guard lol, commissars would be like "I dunno, he just rushes in screaming whenever I say to and somehow he always makes it back, the Emperor protects I guess"
There are certain henchmen that are both expendable and unkillable.
@@remhawk73 Those are the best henchmen, the "throw them at problems until they stop coming back" guys.
@@remhawk7321 and 24
@@remhawk73 so, Starscream?
@@chuksieabani1856 Damn you! Scott Hall (#1) and Speedy were not those Henchman.
Commissar : " god-d*mmit give this man a metal give him eight "
Honestly, this was the miracle I needed when I was a Marine. The more you think, the harder it gets.
Thats why i got no respect for the entire military. Yall harmless withoit orders my neighbor is proof of that. Made him walk off with his tail between his legs when he was trying to be top dog and bully people in the neighborhood tried that sbit with me almost got his dome blown off
@@niksatt4843 What the hell are you trying to say?
@@niksatt4843have you tried saying that to an actual enlisted?
@@vaporsouls6752 You mean terrorist.
@@niksatt4843 dude is every pre-boot stereotype rolled into one person.
"I don't know if I am or not. I'm waiting for you to tell me."
Rofl. This is brilliant!
The ideal recruit unable to be swayed by tzeentch or tempted by slanesh. Truly his short life will have been lived in the glory of the emperor XD
Also incorruptible by Khorne or Nurgle!
No martial pride, he's just doing his job and no need to feel joy in decay because he isn't getting paid to feel joy.
Having been in the military? This works on so many levels.
Exactly. Which is why they we able to convince them to go halfway around the world and spend trillions of tax dollars slaughtering pre-industrial goat farmers for 20 years...
...and then to come back and be greeted as 'heroes'. smfh.
Unless you're Air Force.
@@spottedslash4256 How do you know? You won't know until you actually try it. So next time you hop into a jet, just try it (shut off you brain and let go of the controls while in the air) and so if it works.
@@-_----- I wouldn't call experienced insurgents with mortars and heavy machine guns "pre industrial"
@@-_----- I mean the only thing you could kill is a pack of goldfish. And besides, one more dead savage is always good.
A shame his life expectancy is only 15 hours.
2 with a tyranid invasion.
Only if he thinks too much.
Optimistic
Only one thought matters,
FOR THE EMPORER!
hours LOL
Legend has it his regiment was purged by the inquisition, and they left him alive to command it.
Put a gas mask on him and stick in the Death Corp.
His lack of shame for still being alive would disgust and repulse the other Kriegers
Rumor has it Sly Marbo has never produced a single sentient thought, and could explain why he just screams and grunts all the time
He's a Blank! Get him!
No, Commissar Cain needs him to do his paper work for him
That’s one happy regimental captain.
The logo on the bed... Please say you added that because if you did, that's fucking legit
Gave him a cute lil headboard too
no he did not add it, Reese was actually in a boot camp for the emperor this episode
Now I want a blanket with an aquila on it too.
Of course he did lol
@@maximusd26 oh my god my ribs
I just stopped thinking, I figured out that using my brain was the whole problem. Not just here, but my entire life. It's not even a question of smart or dumb.
This is one of the top 3 for me.
It’s honestly the secret to existing in this accursed world.
"An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded."
Based Blank, Commissar Cain requires your services
I never watched Malcolm but I happened across a moment while channel-flicking that's stayed with me:
Soldier 1: "All I'm taking on the survival hike is a knife, some food and a bedroll!"
Soldier 2: "Wimp! Knife; boots; hat."
Commander: *walks in completely naked, covered in camo paint with a machete strapped to his back* "Let's go."
That was a great episode. But now all I can think about is the Catachan Jungle Fighters having a knife measuring contest before going on a mission.
Was this one of the episodes or another show?
@@ThatGuyorSum "That's not a knife...THIS is a knife!"
@@Shiroyasha2397 It was in Francis' military school.
The thousand years part definitely takes on a new meaning here. This regiment(or it's unit name at least) probably is a thousand years old at least.
A good officer commands without doubt.
A good soldier obeys without question.
A losing war can be fought by both.
@@BigWheel.Hey he said good not great
@@conradlorgar5508hahahaha
And a good NCO drinks... heavily...
To the Frontlines with him!
Don't forget, that if you want to support my content and enter month box giveaways head over to patreon.com/WoodImp
The surprising thing is he'd just become another Sly Morbo
See YOU in about 15 hours!!
Lmfao as a former soldier and 40k fan this is fking hilarious and definitely true for lower enlisted personnel 😂
One day you'll discover Major Payne.
next assignment: death world assault
The oldest drill's always the one who cherishes the trainees the most.
I was in the Army, and I've never seen a Drill Sergeant cry happy tears before.
He’s got one that actually listens and wants to listen. Broke his tiny heart.
@@Davidofthelost Lmao I dunno about listens and wants to listen, man. If he was listening to Reese he'd be like "oh god I broke this child"
Well, it only happens once in a millennium...
When Imperium Maledictum players realise how broken "Ignorance is my shield" is against chaos taint.
100xp to never fail a corruption roll ever again.
True he won't fall to Chaos but he would 100% still be unquestioningly following orders from a commander who had lol
Reese: I'm waiting for my commanding officer to tell me what the corrupting taint of chaos looks like
Officer oozing Nurgle goo: Don't worry about it now go put some las holes in those loyalist scum
“Yes Inquisitor, this man right here”
Krieger: “Only One in a thousand years” How about every minute?
He might last at least one day at the frontlines.
Whelp, he learned a LOT faster than I did about the strengths and benefits of turning off your brain
The edit of the imperial eagle onto The bed was almost too slick. I though it was legit
"Understanding stifles the will to act." -A Commissar probably
Rumor has it he might be Alpharius.
Blessed is the mind too small for doubt
The chaos gods looking into his mind: It's free real estate.
Never not use Malcolm in the Middle
Only for him to be blown off by a suicide Swigg in his first battle. And that is his literal first step into a warzone.
Now you get it… good job soldier!
A soldier like that comes along once in a thousand years, and are the first to die because their commander gave them a stupid order. Treasure them while they last.
Giving up your own freedom to defend everyone else's. Nothing more selfless than that. Hence: Rubric Marines. Fantastic.
Dear lord... this man may live to see a whole 2 hours on the battlefield... what a hero.
This was a simple add a background to a TV skit. And it worked perfectly. Thank you.
Gotta dig thru steveys lines to see if there would be any good long winded adminittrautum or aclesiarchy bits
Absolutely hilarious. One of the best videos from this meme.
When the Aquilla showed up on the bed I lost it
A tool FOR THE EMPEROR!!
"By the will of the God-Emperor! A soldier like you comes along once in a thousand years... Now report to the frontline, guardsman!"
I am happy for him to have found his calling in life.
You're not paid to THINK!
A happy worker is a mindless worker.
“Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.”
Man, i just discovered your channel 2 days ago and all your content top-tier
Glad you're into it, enjoy the wild descent into madness with me
“Blessed is the mind that entertains no doubt.”
The logo on the bedspread was a nice touch
1🇺🇸🌈🌲🏈🥷🏽 I'm...the lion...the lion El...johnson... ., TECHPRIEST!!!! 📖🥷🏽🏈
Well said, soldier!
I see the extra hypno-conditioning is paying off.
This guy survives all the way to retirement
big ol chortle
thanks for it, WI
You make one of the best WH40k content out there.
Is there also a way to contact you to send some ideas?
He dips as soon as he realises the implications. Literally runs away as soon as they see combat in the next episode
follow orders and pray to the emperor that the one giving the orders is somewhat competent, imperial guard saying.
He going to straight to the meat grinder, if he’s lucky.
This is fantastic.
Nice. Classic Malcom in the Middle. What will you think of next?
Other Malcom in the Middle scenes.
Malcolm's mom and Dad's outbursts turned into khorne worshippers in the eldest sons absence. Then Malcom is a slanneshi follower with the you
Better watch out and better beware or Malcom will see you scene.
Now do francis as a traitor guardsmen
These videos are fantastic
Bless the mind too small for doubt
This video makes my souls sing
Actually at this point he would be grabbed by an inquisitor because he clearly shows sign of being under influence of something.
"I AM INNOCENT I TELL YOU!!!
"Innocence proves *nothing* "
Ooof, that right there is the essence of grimdark.
Because in 40k... innocence really proves nothing.
The chaos gods wouldn't know how to stop him.
this, sir, is awesome 🖖
Gunthar Soreson lore be like :
About 40% of the population would benefit from this lesson.
The Aquila on the bedsheet was a great touch
Average ogryn geezer: et chaos,
Et me commissar, et gruel, simple as.
Omg, he's gonna be the best soldier ever. Guys, I think he can last a minute!
How to survive any modern job: they're paying you to do, not to think. Don't work for free.
i half expected it to be forrest gump
The "One in a thousands of years" got me.
If he was at Cadia, it would have still been there.
Custodian: He gets it.
A finely tuned tool of the imperium.
"Blessed is the mind too small to doubt"
I give him 10 secondson the battlefield.
A Good Soldier Follows Orders
That’s the one that becomes a space marine lol
Get this man a horse.
Not even the space marines and primarchs have figured that one out. If they did the galaxy would not be inflames.
as my drill sergeant said; you are here to train, not to think! we do the thinking for you!
By God, there's a man who knows how to hold an impossible position!💪 Instant E-5 for this MAN among men!
Oh... no. Let that boy retain his innocence and usefulness.
Officers give orders. Soldiers follow.
NCOs have to actually interpret the poetic verse of officers and bring it down to crayons; in a way so that the officers never realize they're completely ignoring their plans for something that will actually work AND the lower enlisted can't gossip about.
Officers give orders.
Soldiers follow orders.
NCO's drink-
and quietly sift the E-4 mafia for those who do great works in the shadows. What we do with them, I can't say.