Instantly BOOST Your Charisma |

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ค. 2022
  • One of the simplest ways to increase your perceived charisma is…⁣
    to PAUSE!⁣

    Studies demonstrate that charismatic people are supportive, sensitive, nurturing, and considerate. Not only that, they also exude a mysterious, almost intangible quality that’s a unique combination of quiet confidence, credibility and presence. ⁣

    When they enter a room, people look.⁣
    When they talk, people want to listen.⁣

    And the best part about charisma is that you can develop it. ⁣

    One simple way to develop charisma through your presence and perceived confidence starts with how you communicate. ⁣
    Next time you’re interacting with someone, see if you can pause for 2-3 seconds before responding. ⁣

    I call it the 3SP - 3 Second Pause.⁣

    Of course, you’ll still want to maintain eye contact so they know you’re paying attention, and you want to have an engaged look on your face - a blank stare will probably raise some eyebrows and might even prompt an “are you ok??”… You can even take a small breath before you speak so you ‘audience’ knows something’s coming…⁣

    This is a particularly useful skill when in interviews, on panels or when presenting in public and answering questions. ⁣

    Have you ever seen anyone use this and what did you think? ⁣
    Or have you used it? How did you find it? 👇⁣





    📚 ⁣
    -House, R. J., & Howell, J. M. (1992). Personality and charismatic leadership. The Leadership Quarterly, 3(2), 81-108.⁣
    -De Cremer, D., & Van Knippenberg, D. (2002). How do leaders promote cooperation? The effects of charisma and procedural fairness. Journal of Applied Psychology, 87(5), 858.⁣
    -Tskhay, K. O., Zhu, R., Zou, C., & Rule, N. O. (2018). Charisma in everyday life: Conceptualization and validation of the General Charisma Inventory. Journal of personality and social psychology, 114(1), 131.
    #shorts
    ____________________
    To find out more about Shadé, visit the website: www.shadezahrai.com
    Follow her on:
    • Instagram: / shadezahrai
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    • Facebook: / shadezahraispeaker
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    Join her private FB group for professional women: / neurofemina

ความคิดเห็น • 696

  • @WorldBeater123
    @WorldBeater123 ปีที่แล้ว +2131

    Imagine two friends having a conversation and each one waiting 3 seconds to answer every time a question is asked 🤣🤣🤣

    • @doit7779
      @doit7779 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      Same Like the indian dramas . 😂😂

    • @neonyoutobe5405
      @neonyoutobe5405 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @@doit7779 Demtananana deem tanana a
      Doom tanana doom tana Nana ....
      Graphics 😂🤣🤣

    • @babypenkinese
      @babypenkinese ปีที่แล้ว +27

      That definitely happens when you’re as high as a kite.

    • @mauricioesma
      @mauricioesma ปีที่แล้ว +26

      (Waits 3 seconds)
      Right!?

    • @steepdeej
      @steepdeej ปีที่แล้ว +24

      If this was your first thought that came to mind after this video I don’t think you got the point. Maybe, I dunno you. We’ll see

  • @romeshbhat8362
    @romeshbhat8362 ปีที่แล้ว +370

    My wife asked if I love her, I tried 3SP.
    Now I cook my own food

    • @salmaabbasi6978
      @salmaabbasi6978 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      You silly goose !!!!🤣🤣🤣how is it working out for you 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @SarahPrincess-bh7tf
      @SarahPrincess-bh7tf 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂

    • @DB-xo6xh
      @DB-xo6xh 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That's a long ass time!

    • @noemistephanie93
      @noemistephanie93 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @cornwellhampande334
      @cornwellhampande334 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      😅😅

  • @abba3629
    @abba3629 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    6SP = Double Charisma.
    9SP = Triple Charisma.
    12SP = Quadruple Charisma..., Keep going for 24 hours = Full day of Peace & Absolute Charisma.

  • @brucewayne2184
    @brucewayne2184 ปีที่แล้ว +837

    Person: *does a 3 second pause*
    Me: *walks away because I think they're done talking*

    • @leovylrivera1930
      @leovylrivera1930 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      This guy is funny 😂

    • @RajinderSingh-mj6xc
      @RajinderSingh-mj6xc ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Love your words. Same here.

    • @Clumsy_dame
      @Clumsy_dame 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Thats why you have to maintain eye contact😅

    • @aberpatricia5730
      @aberpatricia5730 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂😂

    • @lauraberry6081
      @lauraberry6081 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Maybe do a 3sp after theirs lol

  • @ratnak5370
    @ratnak5370 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2338

    Me who can't even collect my thoughts in 5 minutes 😭
    Edit: Thanks for 1.2k likes

    • @armandodemiguel7989
      @armandodemiguel7989 2 ปีที่แล้ว +178

      I tend to have the correct answer when in bed, 5 hours later.

    • @peaceman97amd97
      @peaceman97amd97 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      😂

    • @abdotp
      @abdotp ปีที่แล้ว +5

      🤣🤣🤣 me too man

    • @Shamuto7
      @Shamuto7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Started looking creepy staring silently for 5mins

    • @pubududanansooriya3548
      @pubududanansooriya3548 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Bring it up guys, these conditions can be improved. 💪

  • @smallfootprint2961
    @smallfootprint2961 2 ปีที่แล้ว +276

    Yes. You don't have to jump into everone's talk. Being patient, and waiting to respond is wonderful... and if I am talking with someone who is constantly interrupting... i can let them talk. I can let that person who needs to talk, talk. It's my gift.

    • @Catthepunk
      @Catthepunk ปีที่แล้ว +10

      So charismatic.

    • @ambriaashley3383
      @ambriaashley3383 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same.

    • @pawelpawlowin95
      @pawelpawlowin95 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You're speaking to slow. I would left the room if you talked to me like that.

    • @joniman6899
      @joniman6899 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@pawelpawlowin95 work on your patience

    • @pawelpawlowin95
      @pawelpawlowin95 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@joniman6899 Sorry I was high when I wrote that

  • @superkowstar
    @superkowstar ปีที่แล้ว +65

    I can’t stop looking at her hair ❤

    • @Onmysheet
      @Onmysheet 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And her.....assets

  • @lokeshdubey
    @lokeshdubey 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    I’m using this in my fights with wifey! I can think of better comebacks now

    • @kshitijguleria8594
      @kshitijguleria8594 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Haha that's funny and kind of cute

    • @suntzu1409
      @suntzu1409 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can think of better comebacks now, right?
      Right?

    • @user-hv5oe1zx1x
      @user-hv5oe1zx1x 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      she'll be furious and defeated lmao
      man u guys r cute mashallah

  • @chaossage8852
    @chaossage8852 2 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    Okay, that one was a really good advice, especially for someone with social anxiety

    • @gteixeira
      @gteixeira 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It is not, don't follow that. People will pick on you.

    • @souravupadhyay2029
      @souravupadhyay2029 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just go out of your house with friends for morning walk somewhere you will learn to socialize slowly im progressing too.

    • @Bananabear20
      @Bananabear20 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No they won’t

    • @Luey-E
      @Luey-E 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@gteixeirayou seem like you got some anxiety to work on lol

    • @gteixeira
      @gteixeira 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Luey-E Not at all, I'm not anxious. If you give people a silent stare of 3 seconds they will call you a creep.

  • @sihamben2806
    @sihamben2806 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I use this technique naturally just so I can collect my thoughts and have better response. 👌🏼 nailed it

  • @yehfish88
    @yehfish88 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is true. I always make “um…well” sort of fill-in words before answering. I do find people that use the 3SP tip really attractive and professional. Thanks for pointing this out!

  • @nabadayhalder
    @nabadayhalder ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I paused 30 seconds and made Eye contact with you 😂

  • @jackmorley7444
    @jackmorley7444 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I happen to do this naturally, I didn't realise it was a thing for charisma lol. I always thought it was better to come out with a well constructed sentence than a muddled one

  • @rohitjagtap14
    @rohitjagtap14 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am highly impressed by the personality you've created, your utter delivery, mannerism, along with charisma you pour in your confidence. There's too much to learn from you. Just Thank you! keep making more videos regarding Personality Development.

  • @itsalaynnaguys
    @itsalaynnaguys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    My 3sp goes: “…uh…. *answer*”

    • @Dissociatedaf
      @Dissociatedaf ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s the only way it’ll go. I don’t think she realizes other people in the world actually exist 🥴

    • @Bananabear20
      @Bananabear20 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You’re just used to never improving

  • @Jonathan-mm5zx
    @Jonathan-mm5zx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I usually do this but glad to know it is a formal way of communicating👍🏾

  • @ryuk6517
    @ryuk6517 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Me : taking a 3sp
    Someone else jumps to answer the asked question.

  • @charleybrown5713
    @charleybrown5713 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Being who you are and being authentic is the best way to express yourself.

  • @olivertaveras9896
    @olivertaveras9896 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    It's too surface level. The confidence comes from self esteem. Knowing that you're awesome how you are. 3sp just comes out naturally. High range of emotions and expressiveness comes from high self esteem

    • @ThePojengsidur
      @ThePojengsidur ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Confidence comes from knowledge, relevant critique, calmness, achievement, the way others look at you anf vice versa, etc. and when you know your own knowledge, then the pause comes naturally from conteplating. If the question was complex forming an answer might also take some time. I now think that self esteem is crap.

    • @Luey-E
      @Luey-E 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@ThePojengsiduri liked everything except for the way others look at you. People who are prepared but not afraid to be wrong are truly confident. They do care about what people think but only people who are close to them and who they respect

  • @bigloudandnoisy3601
    @bigloudandnoisy3601 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve always respected people who I can visibly see their thinking process unfold as you tell them a problem and don’t blurt out in emotion instead. Those are the best managers and leaders In the workplace imo

  • @mandoball1980s
    @mandoball1980s ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You said all that without pausing or taking a breath. Very impressive

  • @pankajdabholkar4939
    @pankajdabholkar4939 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Maam you have an amazing positive vibe. Bless you.

  • @careercoachcorporateleader7008
    @careercoachcorporateleader7008 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Loved hearing your thoughts! Keep up helping people with nice contents

  • @aabdille
    @aabdille 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    How amazing those little tips Zarai 😍

  • @salmaabbasi6978
    @salmaabbasi6978 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes, like Jordon Peterson as an example. I noticed that with him.

  • @azamthaheem994
    @azamthaheem994 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You are an exceptional lady having enormous faculties of heart and soul.

  • @jlib7389
    @jlib7389 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I can't keep eye contact for three seconds.

    • @stephirothermy9938
      @stephirothermy9938 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I feel like if you did it could read creepy. Maybe allow your eyes to relax & look slightly to the side or behind the person you’re speaking with instead of staring into their soul through their eyes 👀 lol

    • @syedahmedyoutube
      @syedahmedyoutube ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Try for a minute

  • @shekhargupta6718
    @shekhargupta6718 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are so high on confidence

  • @HiteshP22
    @HiteshP22 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She is so charismatic😍

  • @vishalprasadacoustic
    @vishalprasadacoustic ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Shadè thanks much. You deliver such good quality content.

  • @ekamonthewise2395
    @ekamonthewise2395 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I thought I needed to roll for a charisma saving throw

  • @Chris-pj7jg
    @Chris-pj7jg ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you very much for the advice given. I will surely adopt this.
    Kind regards.

  • @tamiressoares9303
    @tamiressoares9303 ปีที่แล้ว

    Girl I just landed here from TH-cam shorts, and I really have to say I love your outfit 🤍🤍🤍

  • @itsmebuddy4580
    @itsmebuddy4580 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Aweeee...Nice tip. The way you articulate the tips makes a big impact. Thank you.

  • @bennguyen9847
    @bennguyen9847 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s always refreshing to listen to her…!

  • @madanmohan3896
    @madanmohan3896 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are amazing in your content.

  • @terrencenizam1775
    @terrencenizam1775 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ya so true you are the epitome of that person...❤❤❤ Pause

  • @TimothysDream
    @TimothysDream ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Shadé! I randomly came across this in my Shorts feed. So fantastic to see you spreading helpful tips. I hope you're doing well. Hope to dance with you again soon.
    - Tim

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tim! What a lovely surprise. Hope you're doing great too! Yes, thanks to social media we've had an amazing journey that's taken our business global in a big way. Faysal and I moved base to Koh Samui Island so look us up if you're ever in the area.

  • @nurazlan74
    @nurazlan74 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nothing beats sincerety. Say what you mean and mean what you and stand your ground. Sincerety requires courage...

  • @bethbaldrias1778
    @bethbaldrias1778 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for your shared tips

  • @faisaladris1225
    @faisaladris1225 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing way to explain keep up the work

  • @mujimax007
    @mujimax007 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I find your tips very useful. Thank you!

  • @healthtips7687
    @healthtips7687 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love the part that you often repeats your clothes ❤️❤️..........and away from the sick mentality of not repeating clothes ..... that's great indeed

    • @phoenixkb134
      @phoenixkb134 ปีที่แล้ว

      What a Fucken weird comment

  • @adnanezerraf9821
    @adnanezerraf9821 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mindblowing accuracy in pronunciation.

  • @asmatkhan5906
    @asmatkhan5906 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Such a brilliant information, thanks Shade

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @desh_d
    @desh_d ปีที่แล้ว

    You are amazing !

  • @SandeepKSinha
    @SandeepKSinha ปีที่แล้ว

    In your videos you speak quite fast without the 3SP yet the charisma is so strong 😊

  • @gladstoneb879
    @gladstoneb879 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    3SP...😊..self confidence is key..😊

  • @belpri633
    @belpri633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What an actual great, practical and easy to apply tip. Thank you!

  • @marcosg20248
    @marcosg20248 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love this ❤ yes I have to work on the 3Sp 😂 I think I sit in the other camp right now 😮

  • @germanshepherd8187
    @germanshepherd8187 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great stuff as always Shade

  • @nicoldavis-johnson7080
    @nicoldavis-johnson7080 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Like your advice. Thank you for sharing.

  • @Agonyrate
    @Agonyrate 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank you Shadé.

  • @yvettedejesus3109
    @yvettedejesus3109 ปีที่แล้ว

    My dad taught me this and it's really helped me out.

  • @becg6832
    @becg6832 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely! … I’m loving your intelligence charisma generosity and teachings.

  • @DeezNuts-zz1mi
    @DeezNuts-zz1mi 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you miss, now im a certified
    "Charizzma Of Oz"

  • @jeffersonchen4680
    @jeffersonchen4680 ปีที่แล้ว

    You don't see to apply the 3SP in this clip yet you are still very charismatic.

  • @manojdarak2815
    @manojdarak2815 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are wonderful lady....everyday I listen to your video 5-10 minutes. Thanks for spreading your knowledge God bless

  • @ailispique1245
    @ailispique1245 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I do this naturally but im just dissassociating lol

  • @reshanyousef8178
    @reshanyousef8178 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are really a wonderful speaker, thank you very much for those words🙏🏻🌷

  • @wendypoet6487
    @wendypoet6487 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sometimes the pause is for constructing a lie or some deceiving answer. A truthful person just speaks from the heart especially when among friends.

  • @1007amir
    @1007amir ปีที่แล้ว

    This might actually be really helpful! Thanks for sharing!

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- ปีที่แล้ว

    great content !!, & discovered the pause works.. 😊😊

  • @princeps722
    @princeps722 ปีที่แล้ว

    You look fabulous 🤩

  • @azafu8942
    @azafu8942 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you queen

  • @KINGTANISH07
    @KINGTANISH07 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your content is awesome 💯

  • @giotapapageorgiou489
    @giotapapageorgiou489 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much ❤️

  • @ZhiznTV
    @ZhiznTV ปีที่แล้ว

    Help full for second language learning. I'm Indian and my first language is hindi and when I start speaking specially English front of my friends they don't understand my points so I'd give them couple of seconds to understand that for better reply. And that's really work for me after all language is only a way to correspond with anyone so they real accept it.

  • @kelvynjayy
    @kelvynjayy 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Spot on!

  • @sachinsharma2609
    @sachinsharma2609 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good advice, thanks

  • @cdt_pranaykzala1024
    @cdt_pranaykzala1024 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I recollects my face expression with your video 😊

  • @willsalberg
    @willsalberg 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    There is so much knowledge in such a short video

  • @chanelschannel4705
    @chanelschannel4705 ปีที่แล้ว

    You nailed it

  • @casabellakollam3663
    @casabellakollam3663 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are full of charisma ❣️

  • @ashimrai4260
    @ashimrai4260 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much 🙏

  • @arupsan
    @arupsan ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If you interview me I will be entirely silent😂
    No pause which is called “NOSP”

  • @akadirnilavane2861
    @akadirnilavane2861 ปีที่แล้ว

    Super information!

  • @mad9777
    @mad9777 ปีที่แล้ว

    You give out a fresh kinda energy

  • @ritikarishi3916
    @ritikarishi3916 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for sharing.

  • @gregoryclark7566
    @gregoryclark7566 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great advice. I took 3 seconds before I wrote my response.

  • @jsarkar1091
    @jsarkar1091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks, Sis.❤️💞🙏🥰

  • @lovegoddess29
    @lovegoddess29 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Love this! I see EXACTLY what she’s talking about👌🏼

  • @pjeromardesic
    @pjeromardesic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    😍😍😍 so simple and so empowering

  • @gregmoverley7525
    @gregmoverley7525 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love the Content. Thank Yiu for Sharing !

  • @KenHoyer
    @KenHoyer 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great advice

  • @blackdiamond606
    @blackdiamond606 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I would love some video recommedation on these interviews. I'm learning about this, when I get nervous all thought are gone in second 😅

  • @olympiaklassen
    @olympiaklassen 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I would like to see examples of what that looks like. Like perhaps a celebrity interview.

  • @rauthers1286
    @rauthers1286 ปีที่แล้ว

    ❤❤❤ thank you

  • @fulltimenpc
    @fulltimenpc ปีที่แล้ว

    For those who wants to see an example of this pause, just search ' Friends - Rachel told Ross she's pregnant'.
    Ross really nailed that pause.

  • @saviorodrigues7852
    @saviorodrigues7852 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks ❤❤

  • @alimroz1421
    @alimroz1421 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nice conversation

  • @k.k3260
    @k.k3260 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Aha that's nice ... Thanks for sharing

  • @Wanderers-Bulgaria
    @Wanderers-Bulgaria ปีที่แล้ว

    I know what you speak, I have experienced it in court, in front of executives and it works. But you can't push this thing out. It happened in a moment where you are aware of the moment and surroundings. When I am blacked out of anxiety, nothing works. I just sink more and more in the dark hole until I completely lost myself in my mind. Not complaining, just sharing experience, both polarity super calm and present and super lost in mind (generally social anxiety and fear)

  • @LazyLizzy706
    @LazyLizzy706 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video helped! I was able to lure my first victim into my apartment! Thanks!

  • @resyjr.2645
    @resyjr.2645 ปีที่แล้ว

    U hav a great charisma...

  • @chotabine1551
    @chotabine1551 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So lovely voice I never hardly my hold live

    • @phoenixkb134
      @phoenixkb134 ปีที่แล้ว

      So lovely voice I never hardly my hold live? WTF?

  • @kYA00h
    @kYA00h ปีที่แล้ว

    heres a thought, be yourself and see how life unfolds. podcasts trying to save the world

  • @rutharia6809
    @rutharia6809 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank You

  • @Miami11155
    @Miami11155 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love it✨

  • @ismamsakib5382
    @ismamsakib5382 ปีที่แล้ว

    You're amazing