What TO DO When You Are Feeling JEALOUS and INSECURE in Your Relationship | Relationship Theory

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
  • This episode is sponsored by Thryve. For 10% off, click the link below! trythryve.com/...
    When you see your partner looking at other people, how does that trigger your emotions? Do feelings of jealousy come up? Do you start thinking there is something wrong with you? Do you attack yourself? Everyone comes across these feelings of jealousy and insecurity in life, and how you decide to respond to those feelings is critical. Often people want to address the other person’s actions, but exploring why these feelings are coming up for you is more important. Tom and Lisa expand on the importance of self-worth, building confidence, and working on yourself until you are unbreakable. Your value, your worth, and securities are not given to you, they are built from within. No matter where you are in your relationship, or even if you don’t have a relationship, the process of working through jealousy and insecurities is a highly prized skill that will serve you well.
    SHOW NOTES:
    Jealousy Trigger | When the feeling arises assess what insecurities are being triggered [1:30]
    Self-Worth | Not attaching self-worth to phases but on what’s valuable & worthy [5:21]
    Overcoming Insecurity | Lisa facing insecurity, anchoring to self-worth, keep your power [8:50]
    Self-Centered | Being strong & confident in yourself in a way you can always rebuild self [13:28]
    1st Step Out of Jealousy | Work on yourself, build confidence, and set your boundaries [16:40]

    QUOTES:
    “...jealousy and envy is a good reminder to do the work in yourself to shore up your insecurities to figure out why you're on such an uneven footing with that” Tom Bilyeu [4:27]
    “I still want to be in the place where I'm so secure in myself that it's like if you choose that, it will break my heart, but you won't break me.” Lisa Bilyeu [12:46]
    “if you do hurt me, I can get back up because I built the foundation of how I see myself” Lisa Bilyeu [13:20]
    “He can't give you confidence, nor can he take it away. He can trigger something that's already inside of you, but he can't give it or take it away, so you have to do that work.” Tom Bilyeu [15:49]
    “if the behavior is predictable, it shouldn't upset you.” Tom Bilyeu [18:49]

ความคิดเห็น • 244

  • @RelationshipTheory
    @RelationshipTheory  3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Shout out a moment when you experienced jealously and how you would handle it!

    • @lizbethbustamante5273
      @lizbethbustamante5273 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      In the moments I get insecure I fo resear h and listen to videos like this so I have healthier thoughts instead of spiraling in the negative ones.

    • @thatsstraightenergy3673
      @thatsstraightenergy3673 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I go break something 💀

    • @sahraomar2309
      @sahraomar2309 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@thatsstraightenergy3673😂

    • @leen1q84
      @leen1q84 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      *Jealousy

    • @Tobnosh
      @Tobnosh 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I suffer for somthing like feeling of bloodlust jealousy for one coworker of here.
      just wanted comfirm there is nothing but only defence and no reassurens
      and reminder of friend suggest just point out they are friends on facebook
      now its just ended up so cold that she do not realy wanna see or talk to me if there is no imidiate need of help

  • @heyleighmikaila
    @heyleighmikaila 2 ปีที่แล้ว +290

    If anyone else searched for this video, I have great news: being aware of the problem is half the battle. Even asking yourself how to overcome your own jealousy and insecruity means you've recognized this in yourself and *want* to change. Go, you! Go, us! Thanks for this video, over a year ago.

    • @beverlyannvalle9104
      @beverlyannvalle9104 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Go 🥺

    • @MandisaVXuba
      @MandisaVXuba ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for your kind words

    • @abiiigail333
      @abiiigail333 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for this reminder ❤

    • @Chattyrizki
      @Chattyrizki 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Love it! ❤ just in relationship again after 4 years just dating around and get dumped many times

  • @natpearson5819
    @natpearson5819 2 ปีที่แล้ว +361

    Sorry its not jealousy. If your partner is looking enough that you can tell and knows its something that hurts you then they are being disrespectful and you are allowed to feel hurt or 'jealous' you are not psycho or crazy, if you have boundaries and they continue to be broken then it's not you with the problem. Remember that ladies!

    • @ZhenyaKechina
      @ZhenyaKechina 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Agree 100%

    • @joyleslie2537
      @joyleslie2537 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Valuable !!!

    • @frankieperna1053
      @frankieperna1053 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Preach!

    • @bmforliffee6755
      @bmforliffee6755 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      What I have seen with jealousy It is when your pride kicks in and your pride is hurt What really happens is you think at that moment that he or she is preferring that other over you And that is an idea that you can't bear or stand Because now you feel as if you just got bumped from the position of Queen. And how dare this happened to me

    • @Kirra713
      @Kirra713 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s true

  • @laurenschultz9781
    @laurenschultz9781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +115

    Yes but what if he is really being an asshole and disrespectfully looking at other women in front of me. How is that MY problem? Why do I have to go through all kinds of mental gymnastics comparing younger women to myself and then feeling bad about it. In other words, why do I have to do all the work inside my head when he’s actually being disrespectful? It’s not always a core wound that’s triggering the jealousy. Sometimes, he’s just a plain jerk

    • @jennaweiss6019
      @jennaweiss6019 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Lauren, I've been there. I left that kind of guy 4 years ago. He ended up cheating. Those are his problems, not yours. No reflection of you, you deserve better, believe that!!

    • @cozinha8945
      @cozinha8945 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Lauren, yours were exactly my thoughts.

    • @laurenschultz9781
      @laurenschultz9781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@jennaweiss6019 thank you my friend you deserve the best as well 🙏

    • @jennaweiss6019
      @jennaweiss6019 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@laurenschultz9781 Thank you! Be Well 🦋🙏💗

    • @courtneymurphy1023
      @courtneymurphy1023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes! Amen

  • @kmold0033
    @kmold0033 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Does anyone else just feel like they’re labeled as “jealous” in a relationship but it’s just that it’s a SYMPTOM of something else? Especially when you’re not inhibiting someone from doing something. But legit it’s that a need isn’t being met

  • @Crzycalikiwi
    @Crzycalikiwi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    “You may break my heart but you won’t break me!” Lisa that is gold right there! Preach!!!

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hi friend do you really need help to get your ex back

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let me recommend you to a herbalist(DR edobor) that help me get my ex back he can definitely help you also

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can reach him through WhatsApp

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      +2348154510050

  • @bellakim9404
    @bellakim9404 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    When i feel triggered, I have to remind myself, 'I am original and noone is like me. I will never Go BatShit Crazy over a man or anyone.' The repercussions are not worth it.

  • @BeccaL2016
    @BeccaL2016 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I have to say based on my dating experiences. The right men won’t make you feel jealous because they care about your feelings. When you are triggered of feeling jealousy sure work on yourself but you won’t be happy with this man. So walk away! He is not right person! Find a guy who is truly care about you and bring out the best of You u…I just broke up with a guy because he didn’t make me feel good about myself and he is a narcissist too!

    • @allaboardthegravytrain5987
      @allaboardthegravytrain5987 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m in my 40s and all my life I wrongly assumed my partners would have the best interest or intentions for me. Not true. People are mostly out for themselves and won’t think twice about saying things to use you. The one who really loves you won’t risk losing you. Those people exist we just need to find them.

    • @BeccaL2016
      @BeccaL2016 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@allaboardthegravytrain5987 That's true! I'm already in my mid 40s and haven't found that person yet. I wonder what to take to meet that person who can care about you selflessly, I know it's coming from both sides, meaning, in order for others to truly care about you, you'll need to do the same for them, right?

    • @tineshiacooper45
      @tineshiacooper45 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ⁠@@BeccaL2016'd say not necessarily. In a ideal world you'd think it's that simple but sometimes people feelings change. You can't control anyone, you can only control you, which means that you will show up in the relationship you being you but sometimes you can get triggered and need healing so you may not can show up for your significant other how they need you to and visa Versa. But yea communication is important, but sometimes some people may only want to hear themselves talk and not actually listen to comprehend. So I personally always remember that we are all different and will show up differently in Relationships. You can care about them and visa versa but for some reason or another insecurities can overwhelm and kill the relationship.

    • @tineshiacooper45
      @tineshiacooper45 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm 35 and haven't found my person yet. I also know I have more work to do as well so I'm reallly just working on me so when he is here I can show up my best self. I also know I need to set boundaries and communicate better as well. I also pray for him to be the same so that he can show up his best self for me. Two whole individuals and not broken

    • @BeccaL2016
      @BeccaL2016 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tineshiacooper45 still young! :) I am 45 and still haven’t found anyone. But I’d think I am in a much better position than many divorced /broken relationships

  • @NoahAvery96
    @NoahAvery96 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    The times I have felt jealous have been the times I’ve lost the girl. How I deal with it now is 1.) Succeed with someone else 2.) objectify the jealousy, visualize distancing myself from it, don’t identify with it and know that it is my brains way to serve and protect me. Then it’s my opportunity to find the emotional message. 3.) Look at the skills I possess that my partner wishes they had and see that we both bring value to the relationship. Then be grateful for that 4.) Have a mission to work towards and improve at daily
    Thanks for your videos. Not many people have a healthy relationship role model and you provide a great service

    • @daeclipse03
      @daeclipse03 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you for this. And same I've ruined alot of relationships from being insecure. It's all in my head and I want to break that cycle and see the value I bring to someone else.

  • @MS-ns4ki
    @MS-ns4ki ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Everytime I feel jealous there is good reason.

    • @Tarotblackcat
      @Tarotblackcat ปีที่แล้ว +7

      exactly if my partner looking other woman than bye...i think that is disrespectful

  • @gigiinfinitespirit
    @gigiinfinitespirit 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I believe that 40 y.o man may be cheating on her or desiring to. Any man should not be doing that (watching other women in front of her). She should leave him and heal her selfesteem.

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi friend do you really need help to get your ex back

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let me recommend you to a herbalist(DR edobor) that help me get my ex back he can definitely help you also

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can reach him through WhatsApp

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      +2348154510050

    • @YazSalem
      @YazSalem 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      True I hoped they would talk about that more than just the girls insecurities

  • @santisanti8386
    @santisanti8386 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Envy reveals to you what you want, but you think you can't have. No wonder Tom doesn't understand envy, because he thinks that he can have anything he wants if he puts effort in it, but boy how many people don't even try to be truthful to themselves and to put any effort in anything.

    • @shelby3755
      @shelby3755 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      So true!

    • @bomcdowell-kim9194
      @bomcdowell-kim9194 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Envy and jealousy are two different things: Envy is wanting what the other has, jealousy is a fear of losing ur love object to someone 'better' than u.

  • @samanthajames8174
    @samanthajames8174 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    This was such a brilliant episode! It's only through a lot of self work that I've realised that it's never about the other person; it's always about what's going on inside of you...and you both articulated this point SO well
    Because I grew up in a household where we were discouraged to talk about feelings (esp negative ones), I struggle with opening the bridge with my partner so am curious and would love to learn more about the best way to do this in a loving dialogue. Please would you guys consider doing an episode on "Opening the bridge". Thanks so much for your work!

  • @Joseph-xf2me
    @Joseph-xf2me ปีที่แล้ว +9

    How can you unintentionally stare at someone ?

  • @tineshiacooper45
    @tineshiacooper45 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have been doing a lot of self reflection lately. I had to get real with myself and the part I played and lack of boundaries I had. I'd always blame the person for their behavior so I was in Victim mode looking back. I now own this and now I feel I can truly heal. I don't need to hide/mask myself anymore and it feels so freeing. For the first time in my life I am actually single! Meaning I'm not in a situationship or going with flow and trying to prove that to someone that they should be with me while waiting. Which I realized that this was all insecurities of not feeling good enough. Now I KNOW I am good enough but if I am with someone and the relationship is not working for me then I know that person is not for me. Getting this new way of thinking sets my soul on fire in the most positive way! 😊

  • @unigirl123
    @unigirl123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I am so thankful that I came across this. I cried because it touched me so deeply. I've struggled with insecurities and it really heightens when I am in a relationship. Thank you for having this conversation and express it so clearly!

  • @ZhenyaKechina
    @ZhenyaKechina 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Tom, the society doesn’t value men exclusively for being tall, so you don’t obsess about it. But society does value women only for being young and sexy. So women end up stressing about it at some point in their lives. Not sure if it’s a good example.

  • @charlsgaard
    @charlsgaard ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Found this:
    I believe that every person has areas of enduring vulnerability.
    For a marriage to succeed, these vulnerabilities need to be understood and honored.
    This flips jealousy on its head.
    Instead of something to avoid in relationships, jealousy becomes an opportunity to connect.
    In her book “Daring Greatly” Brene Brown writes,
    “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”
    The Gottmann Institute

  • @doseofsuccess3522
    @doseofsuccess3522 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m only 10 minutes in but I don’t feel that they answered her question. We’re looking at her insecurities as an option only…What if the guy is actually being disrespectful in looking at other women so long that she catches him…. And what if she brought this up to him and her last resort is asking for advice on a public platform

  • @foreignlovedreams
    @foreignlovedreams ปีที่แล้ว +5

    From my point of view it’s not easy to live with jealousy, even though it’s an emotion everyone has felt at least once in their life. While jealousy can fuel you to go after your dreams, it can also cause a downward spiral, take over your life, and wreak havoc on your life and current relationship.
    So be grateful, accept your jealousy, find out why you feel jealous if you don't know (but dive deeper to get to the root cause so you can start healing), and stop comparing yourself to your partner or ex.

  • @theweirdsider
    @theweirdsider 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I wish I could sit down and talk with them both. I’m feeling so broken.

    • @santisanti8386
      @santisanti8386 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Can you talk to anyone?

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi friend do you really need help to get your ex back

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let me recommend you to a herbalist(DR edobor) that help me get my ex back he can definitely help you also

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can reach him through WhatsApp

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      +2348154510050

  • @denitarae
    @denitarae 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Relationship Goals! Thank you both for your raw transparency and inspiration.

  • @vickyderricks4659
    @vickyderricks4659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This video and providing the tips you guys have has really actually helped me understand my jealousy and insecurities. I really appreciate you guys

  • @kikipaxton2078
    @kikipaxton2078 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    “You know how much I love you, but I don’t wanna give you my power! I shouldn’t give you my power!” Yes, Lisa. 👏🏾👏🏾

  • @queenofclubs
    @queenofclubs ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love that ‘shared life’ value ❤ I love that the amount of effort you put in yourself worth and it’s about you ❤

  • @melpurple21
    @melpurple21 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’m so happy that I found your channel! I have been with my husband for 6 years, and married over a year. Many of your videos have just hit home for me. It’s become so eye opening. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, and experiences.

  • @soulventrus
    @soulventrus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you this was excellent. It’s such a critical topic that doesn’t get much attention and is often viewed as a weakness. You two explored this issue beautifully. Thank you and hopefully more couples will have the courage to explore this together with love and understanding.

  • @theredsuitonxflix
    @theredsuitonxflix ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I didn't know you guys were married that is so freaking amazing. You guys are both amazing thank you so much for all the work you've been doing you basically have both saved my life

  • @donnaferolie4388
    @donnaferolie4388 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT!!!! Gawking at young women in front of her face is downright rude and disrespectful. At any age this would be troublesome. Why is the problem placed on the woman's shoulders? These two are assuming the older woman is looking her stated years. There is NO EXCUSE FOR DISRESPECT! '

  • @Screenplaywriter
    @Screenplaywriter ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She is so lucky to have a husband who values a shared life. I value the same but haven’t had someone to value it with me.

  • @lydiaj19
    @lydiaj19 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    7:25 WOW!! May anyone going through any of these emotions at least teach the next generation this important lesson please. 12:00 this is a good lesson to NOT react off insecurities.

  • @smyrlmitchell7741
    @smyrlmitchell7741 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do, the only woman I truly loved I had to let her go. The jealousy and insecurities just pushed me away. I am truly heartbroken and I really really miss her. But it was driving me crazy I didn't know where I was coming from or going 😔

  • @hdshjs
    @hdshjs ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Can Tom ever stop interrupting Lisa :/ He is just rude and narcissistic and in love with him self speaking. It's hard to see them intereacting.

  • @HannahMickunas
    @HannahMickunas 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Wow I so admire how you two can communicate!!

  • @camiladelavega8779
    @camiladelavega8779 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I get working on yourself and reach a level of confidence but you can’t ignore the fact the dude is being nasty and disrespectful

  • @charlenelavalle2373
    @charlenelavalle2373 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    There’s also appreciate attractive people and staring. Staring is disrespectful.

  • @vjcarter4657
    @vjcarter4657 ปีที่แล้ว

    This made me cry because you love eachother so much

  • @matteo1429
    @matteo1429 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank guys, beautiful example of an healthy relationship!

  • @beckye8799
    @beckye8799 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are very fortunate, thank you for spelling it out. Life does have a way of impounding stresses that affect good relationships, also hormones inc. pregnancy (physiological changes) can cause major insecurity. After 29 years it is from these outside/internal forces that weaken us.

  • @gj88888
    @gj88888 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Men always seem to fail to acknowledge that men's sexual value going up as they age greatly depends on the man and that isn't the case for most of them.

  • @violettabicycletta331
    @violettabicycletta331 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Work on yourself! Easier said than done ... where is the magic wand ! . You may know where your insecurities come from ...doesn't t mean it will be the end of your problems!.

    • @AvaIva7
      @AvaIva7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thats what I'm struggling with exactly and still don't understand, even if you find the trigger, the problem, you know the insecurities it doesn't mean it's fixed as I still feel it and don't know what to do with it still ..

    • @tineshiacooper45
      @tineshiacooper45 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AvaIva7 feel like if you just sit with it, it's okay! Feel it and then challenge it with affirmations! I believe knowing that this is a problem for you is the first step of healing that trauma. So then you can let those feelings come in, feel them, and then challenge the feelings with the positive ones. And be kind to yourself.

  • @kcraig9950
    @kcraig9950 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am so thankful that you share this content with us. You have changed my life for the better!

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi friend do you really need help to get your ex back

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let me recommend you to a herbalist(DR edobor) that help me get my ex back he can definitely help you also

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can reach him through WhatsApp

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      +2348154510050

  • @diamondbrightxxx7531
    @diamondbrightxxx7531 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am having a hard time right now with my relationship. My boyfriend drivers strippers at night. His job goes like this, he pick up one stripper from her home once they get a client call, then he drives her there. He collects the money, and then my boyfriend and the stripper meet up after in the car and wait for more calls.
    My boyfriend said he would never trade me for any of those girls but it is still so painful in my heart that he is driving all these strippers. I don't know how much of this I can handle. I also feel, maybe I would feel like this at any other job. Because a man can cheat anywhere. He can meet a cute girl at the grocery store and so on. Perhaps it is a me problem. I feel like he won't leave this job because he does make a lot of money. We had a fight last night because I hate his job. I am trying to trust him. But I am scarred.

  • @IndigoWisdom1
    @IndigoWisdom1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for this talk. Such a deep dark topic but one people tend to feel uncomfortable in discussing. 👍🏽☑️👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi friend do you really need help to get your ex back

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let me recommend you to a herbalist(DR edobor) that help me get my ex back he can definitely help you also

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can reach him through WhatsApp

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      +2348154510050

  • @nadialucia9038
    @nadialucia9038 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love this channel, definitely a power couple!

  • @pcharm3711
    @pcharm3711 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If he is constant looking and he is giving his eyes to other women. Then it sounds like his internal issue.

  • @kikipaxton2078
    @kikipaxton2078 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Why is he interrupting her while she is talking? Why is he talking over her?

    • @PsycheKahr91
      @PsycheKahr91 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He does this a lot if you haven’t watched other videos

  • @ralsumaaji
    @ralsumaaji ปีที่แล้ว

    This one is GOLD, both of you. Thank you for this.

  • @rcz2023
    @rcz2023 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, this is something that I really struggle with, thank you for both of your advice.

  • @Letthetruthspeak7
    @Letthetruthspeak7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was SO helpful. &comforting... thank you guys so much!

  • @jacksonlam7897
    @jacksonlam7897 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You guys are freakin awesome. Love u Tom and Lisa!!

  • @hg9008
    @hg9008 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. So helpful.

  • @lydiaj19
    @lydiaj19 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    18:00 another lesson on how to pause and internally process before going forward to discuss (WITH A LIKE MINDED MIND) An excellent process to allow understanding.

  • @jgibson7374
    @jgibson7374 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Can I ask for advice when it comes to long distance and feeling insecure with social media? This is something I struggle with and would really appreciate the advice.

  • @angelinpdx2297
    @angelinpdx2297 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this so much! Thank you!
    In moments when my boyfriend looks at other women … we women are so high on oxytocin while the men are high on testosterone that we women can’t comprehend why the guy would look at anyone else while in our presence. If we women can 1) intellectually understand that men are visual and get distracted by beauty easily as well as 2) do that inner work to boost your own confidence consistently (I love the “shoring-up” idea; investing in your self love and self worth is a daily process), we can hold our frame. Can let it roll off our feathers without if ruffling our feathers. Hold your frame confidently while understanding his perspective and intentions. 💜

  • @millyroberts1523
    @millyroberts1523 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I keep explaining this to my boyfriend and yet he just hears me shitting on him. I tell him it’s not anything that he’s necessarily doing it’s a faze of my life I’m going through but then he feel hurt and depressed after I wanna just have a positive open conversation about it. I’m not sure what to do? At this point I think it’s pointless to even bring it up to him at all. It’s a “me” problem anyway I guess. I suppose I was just hoping to some more love and depth come from it. As I’m not putting blame on him and taking ownership of my insecurities. Please help! Should I continue to have these hard conversations with him or just deal with it on my own. Knowing how I deal with things also makes him very uncomfortable because I go silent. I can’t pretend that everything is okay with me when I feel broken.

  • @amyli092
    @amyli092 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What I find to be ridiculous is that I have a best friend who gets jealous easily, and yet, my romantic partner of 9 years doesn't. He knows that I wouldn't take advantage of him because of how open and honest with each other. It just feels as if she has these unrealistic expectations of what she wants our friendship to be like, whereas with me, I want some room and space for us to do our own thing and not be so joined at the hip.

  • @carrie_ann5153
    @carrie_ann5153 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good listen. Thank you. ❤

  • @jairogemetchu2
    @jairogemetchu2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Soulmates 💕

  • @paulinabernard21
    @paulinabernard21 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi! Thank you for this video! Minute 9.01 which comes from what? I would say self love. That’s where everything starts.
    Just wanted to share ❤

  • @kafiwoody776
    @kafiwoody776 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was really good thank you for the insight

  • @jamiesimmons7050
    @jamiesimmons7050 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm so glad I found this 😪

  • @kar3n35
    @kar3n35 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have become a extremly jeloue person for no reason. My boyfriend doesnt do nothing wrong and i imagine things.

    • @stephanieneal
      @stephanieneal ปีที่แล้ว

      I go through this except it's the opposite for me...

    • @FitnessSweets
      @FitnessSweets ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If he doesn’t keep his eyes forward, then you have a right to be mad.

  • @kikipaxton2078
    @kikipaxton2078 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He is like abusing her on camera. Can we talk about that? Can we talk about this?

    • @hdshjs
      @hdshjs ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know its hard to watch how Tom monopolizes the screen time and interrupts Lisa and offends her and forces his own interpretation of her struggle, which is making her look shallow, worring about looks when you cant eat, seriously???? Wtf is wrong with this guy...

  • @realtalk675
    @realtalk675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amazing !

  • @thegreatcolossus7500
    @thegreatcolossus7500 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    *My girlfriend is simping to this dud a singer, have a good fashion sense, and yeah a good looking guy long hair good voice he love that dud so much "A local artist here in oir country" and that slowly i can't stop but to compare myself to that dud she explains to me it's different etc i said OK a year later now she had another dud that she simping another good looking guy that can sing ang yeah another "long hair plus good voice combo and also local artist here in our country" I can't stop but to be sad about. When ur partner admiring someone? like really down bad even if its just an artist you can't stop comparing yourself. her excuses was "well I'll never get that chance to see them or atleast be close to them anyway so that's ok" but the anxiety in me what if she found someone nearby that have all the same features that she love its the long hair dud with a great voice I feel like i can be done or out anytime lol 😆 I really need your POV here guys thanks*

  • @kristinetank3959
    @kristinetank3959 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you so much for this 💗

  • @anaguzman3410
    @anaguzman3410 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My husband has crooked teeth and isn't great looking... I fell in love with his personality. Then I found out how he add and follows , also messages many women who don't ever reply. However, his action gives me anxiety, insecurity. I've spoken to him about it and things don't change. He messages his ex saying he cares for her but tells me they've been friends for 10 years and won't cut it off. Even though I've seen (compromising pictures) from some time back. I try to get him to leave but he never does and doesn't want to let me go. I just want to have some peace. He gives me much love when we're together but still keeps doing things that hurt me. He cries not wanting to leave. I've told him he can go and do as he likes and wants but WON'T LET ME ALONE. I don't know what to do. I'm hurting every day

  • @magdalenamm216
    @magdalenamm216 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love U guys ❤ sent it to my guy :))) to show amazing couple
    u are xx

  • @BummerSmith
    @BummerSmith หลายเดือนก่อน

    OK so here mine is very unique. My wife’s brother tried to take care of Virginia a long time ago when she was just a youngster now he didn’t get it so that’s great but ever since I found out about it there are times I go through jealous bout possessivegrudging is this normal?

  • @MarinaM-o6p
    @MarinaM-o6p 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    YOUR JELOSY AND INSECURITY COMES FROM YOUR INTUITION …TELLING YOU THAT YOUR SPOSE HAS AN AFFAIR THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEEA OF ….DO YOUR OWN INVESTIGATION …BE SMART .

  • @betsysimpson318
    @betsysimpson318 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So what to do if you’re dating an narcissist who told you early in the relationship they will leave you for someone else and tell you that girls are better then you and cheated on you multiple times? And who changes their mind a lot and look at more skinny females? 😭

    • @karleyj9706
      @karleyj9706 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Don't be with that person. You HAVE to end it.. it will never be worth it and he's only hurting your self-esteem. You deserve better than that!!

    • @Delshayy
      @Delshayy ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Miss girl...read yo comment again you'll find the answer

    • @tineshiacooper45
      @tineshiacooper45 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sounds like emotional abuse! Which is worse than physical abuse. Take your power back and run for the hills. I know easier said than done but trust you will be glad you did cause you will always find someone better. Promise you that. You will get to that breaking point.

  • @charlenelavalle2373
    @charlenelavalle2373 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sounds like it’s the age gap and insecurities.
    Bottom line, the behavior is disrespectful. He doesn’t value what he has. I’m 57 and know I’m a catch and I did go through this. My boundary was explained up front that I felt that is disrespectful. He did it and I’ve called him out and said I won’t tolerate and now he has worked on that for me and I appreciate him for that.

  • @siiNke
    @siiNke 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Imagine having girlfriend to speak to you like this.. everything would be easier

  • @karansnow600
    @karansnow600 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sounds like the relationship does very little to meet your needs for security...maybe u need to be with someone who actually spends time with you...i think any woman would experience insecurity in a situation like the one u have described. Can u identify what u need and ask him to meet your emotional need? This is how u find out if he is someone who can give u the care u need...
    You r allowed to have needs!

  • @ngceboace4722
    @ngceboace4722 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is it gut or insecurity?

  • @notinvogue4287
    @notinvogue4287 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Okay. I'll will just tell myself it's me every time I'm completely invisible all of a sudden whenever another hot chick comes around. Every time. Every guy. Without fail. It's totally me messed up in the head.

  • @danielleelia5434
    @danielleelia5434 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    but how do you look so deep inside yourself of jealousy and insecurity and how do you make it better? i'm not in a relationship but i've sure been jealous and feel not good enough compared to this other girl or even the guy i like... cause of the dynamic and insecurity of what i look like..., my weight etc, how i come across personality wise etc... even if people tell me i'm so pretty, kind, thoughtful, sweet, beautiful etc.. i guess it's that self love to believe in myself?...

  • @Bathing.in.Emptiness
    @Bathing.in.Emptiness 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brilliant

  • @PetrECRice
    @PetrECRice ปีที่แล้ว

    I need that crane and harness!

  • @damarismoulterie4349
    @damarismoulterie4349 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you 🙏

  • @xbabyyb
    @xbabyyb 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I loved this!

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi friend do you really need help to get your ex back

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let me recommend you to a herbalist(DR edobor) that help me get my ex back he can definitely help you also

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can reach him through WhatsApp

    • @johnsonrichard2777
      @johnsonrichard2777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      +2348154510050

  • @kristinetank3959
    @kristinetank3959 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Can you PLEASE talk about what is acceptable Ina relationship....such as.....porn watching.....socail media....etc????

    • @lindorina792
      @lindorina792 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      you need to define with your partner...but dont accept something that cross your boundaries and hurts u.

  • @ikr2377
    @ikr2377 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    If one feels he is a good catch may trigger insecurity in a woman especially if he don't asure her..

    • @tineshiacooper45
      @tineshiacooper45 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree 100%. But I had to get real as a woman to know I am just as good of a catch as he is. Especially cause some people just out here to use you.
      You have to know that you are worthy cause money doesn't assure quality character

  • @maryfraraccio2572
    @maryfraraccio2572 ปีที่แล้ว

    A legendary romance is built and rebuilt on jealousy or working the jealousy out? I still think couples with the best relationships, perfect ones, or relationships everyone should be jealous of, and are, or aren't? SENSE, make sense out of jealousey or relation ship's , forget it, it's not going to happen. Coples fight so they can make up because making up is always the best part of differences. Isn't it? Now, what about the partners who never get jealous, ever, especially when they by all means should be jealous? Perhaps the one that shouldn't be a relationship at all? Iost my mind and at that, AMAZING CONFUSION. I think everybody should just kiss and make up, or out? Oh yeah, PEACE OUT. Chow

  • @Thelasvegaspromoter
    @Thelasvegaspromoter ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Because of your body” when he said that I thought a fight was about to happen 😂

  • @pcharm3711
    @pcharm3711 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If you start thinking of being insecure when youre with your boyfriend think about his all his flaws and his crooked teeth, his tonsil stones, his bad breathe, his hairy fat belly and then just workout like a sexy goddess 😉 men will definitely eye hard work if you arent young.

    • @anaguzman3410
      @anaguzman3410 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My husband has crooked teeth and isn't great looking... I fell in love with his personality. Then I found out how he add and follows , also messages many women who don't ever reply. However, his action gives me anxiety, insecurity. I've spoken to him about it and things don't change. He messages his ex saying he cares for her but tells me they've been friends for 10 years and won't cut it off. Even though I've seen (compromising pictures) from some time back. I try to get him to leave but he never does and doesn't want to let me go. I just want to have some peace. He gives me much love when we're together but still keeps doing things that hurt me. He cries not wanting to leave. I've told him he can go and do as he likes and wants but WON'T LET ME ALONE. I don't know what to do. I'm hurting every day

  • @willowkai5
    @willowkai5 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I want her arms

  • @stephenclarke6347
    @stephenclarke6347 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    If you quit having relationships, this won't be a problem. You haven't learned how to be happy or satisfied with you. You have no business being in a relationship. Besides, relationships are really not worth putting up with someone else's BS. You don't need a relationship to have a very happy life.

    • @joesephknoettgen3551
      @joesephknoettgen3551 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I thought about what You said,,,I've decided that everyone in a relationship puts up with some amount of BS. I guess it's how much You let it get to oneself, just a thought ok.

  • @JoJoJa-w2n
    @JoJoJa-w2n ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow 😂. There is a lot of bad takes here. Weak boundaries and disrespect breed jealousy. Have some self-respect and move on.

  • @Srishtiiiiiiiiiii
    @Srishtiiiiiiiiiii 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great .mindbloeinhg

  • @ncrollberg360
    @ncrollberg360 ปีที่แล้ว

    One clue here might be 'boyfriend'. Marriage, on the other hand is a covenant relationship where a man and woman are commited to each other in love, with God's guidance.

  • @asemkinchen5572
    @asemkinchen5572 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Form a tighter bond with your mate...🙄 I.e sexual favors , shopping, long walks, more hugs, more attention...😑 lazyness looses your spot...🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @hdshjs
    @hdshjs ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Its hard to watch how Tom monopolizes the screen time and interrupts Lisa and offends her and "offers" his own interpretation of her struggle, which is making her look shallow, he thought she was worring mostly about her looks when she literally couldn't eat, seriously? Wtf is wrong with this guy...

  • @ethercept
    @ethercept ปีที่แล้ว

    Here here... or is it hear hear... **applesauce**

  • @SethBuckler
    @SethBuckler ปีที่แล้ว

    Chances are that he doesn’t take her seriously. She is older, been there and I feel like it’s very egotistical for a woman to believe she can posses a younger man. Granted he is 40. For me I liked older women for sex. And always assumed that she would understand that’s all t could be. No long term intentions.

  • @herfromthesea
    @herfromthesea ปีที่แล้ว

    11:50

  • @janny474
    @janny474 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This speaker is a mansplainer if there ever was one. Lisa has been so patient! BTW, he says men's sexual value goes up as they age. That was funny 😅

  • @ladytorres7922
    @ladytorres7922 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    ❤️

  • @Smillasp
    @Smillasp 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Jeez....this guy really is a besserwisser!! 😐