How I Finally Stopped 🚫 Emotional Eating (Therapist's Story)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มี.ค. 2024
- #emotionaleating #eatingpsychology #overeating
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Disclaimer: This video is for information purposes only and my content should not be used as a substitute for seeking treatment from a healthcare provider. My content is not going to be suitable for everyone, so please use your self discernment before applying any video content in your own life.
In my latest TH-cam video, I dive deep into my personal journey of overcoming binge eating, only to face the challenge of emotional eating that lingered beneath the surface. Despite my progress, I found myself stuck in cycles of using food to numb out life's difficulties, a habit I judged myself harshly for.
I share this experience to highlight a common struggle many face and to offer hope and strategies that have helped me transform my relationship with food and, more importantly, with my emotions.
I discuss the critical realization that while overcoming binge eating was a milestone, it didn't address the emotional turbulence that drove my eating habits. For years, I battled with the guilt of emotional eating, feeling overwhelmed by the day-to-day without my food-based coping mechanism. This led me to a crucial understanding: healing isn't just about changing what or how you eat; it's about confronting the emotions underlying those habits.
Throughout the video, I share insights into how emotional eating often masks deeper emotional needs and how recognizing and addressing these needs can lead to meaningful change. I learned that emotions are messengers, signaling unmet needs or unresolved issues. By paying attention to these signals and responding with curiosity and compassion, I began to unravel the patterns that kept me stuck in unhealthy eating behaviors.
A significant part of my journey was learning to stop moralizing my feelings and instead, approach them with kindness and understanding. I discuss how labeling emotions as "good" or "bad" adds layers of guilt and shame, which only exacerbates emotional eating. I emphasize the importance of self-compassion and the transformative power it holds in changing how we relate to ourselves and our emotions.
Moreover, I delve into the concept of emotional safety and its role in healing. Feeling safe to experience and process emotions without judgment or fear is paramount. I share strategies that helped me create a sense of safety, including supportive relationships, self-compassion, and physical practices that calm the nervous system.
By sharing my story, I aim to encourage others to look beyond the surface of emotional eating and to explore the emotional landscapes that influence their eating behaviors. My journey taught me that while food can momentarily soothe emotional discomfort, true healing comes from addressing the emotions themselves. This video is for anyone looking to break free from the cycle of emotional eating and embark on a path of self-discovery and healing.
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Every time I watch one of this woman’s videos I’m just like “She is awesome.” No judgment, no frills, just casual advice from a friend.
She is awesome!
I've seen a few of your videos now and from the outset I feel like I've found the ONLY therapist that actually gets it. I've had years of therapy to no avail and I knew they just didn't get it. I always felt it takes one to know one. So many therapists learn it all from books and a course but have never lived it themselves. You understand and so eloquently describe everything I feel and do.
You're incredible and thank you so much for rescuing me from the defeated shame and depression I've been feeling after failing each course of therapy I've had. You are a lifesaver
Hey everyone! Get hold of her book - I Can't Stop Eating. It's life-changing - mine overnight! But her vlogs are reinforcing more of your journey to a further recovery. She's amazingly awesome!
When I was a binge eater, I would have the thought, "The only thing that can 'hit the spot' right now is a large pizza or four double cheeseburgers." In reality, it was hunger combined with something like agitation and craving (like the craving of a drug). My solution now is to eat something healthful--the hunger goes away, and so does the agitation and craving to binge. Sometimes the "agitation" really is just part of being hungry (aka, my body is demanding nutrients, and it is making me uncomfortable until I eat something).
Thanks for all your videos!
That’s so very true. Checking in with myself and being honest with myself are key to eating less.
Your calling as a psychotherapist is genuine. This video hit me like a wall of bricks. I recognize myself in your topic and finally, answers! I will need to process this info for a while and probably watch it again, but THANK YOU. (Btw, I can’t find your book in Canada!)
I have never found someone who says EXACTLY what I’m feeling/felt without knowing how to describe it. Thank you so so much
I’m two years in, having stopped weighing myself and dieting. It’s a long journey, but undoing 30 years of one way of being takes time. Definitely the emotional stuff needs the focus, not the behaviour.
I feel safe speaking out loud what I think and feel to a stuffed animal which I imagine looking at me (and my feelings) with compassion and understanding 🧸☺
I realized that I get the urge to eat when I'm watching a show that makes me anxious. Like a suspenseful mystery show.
i can't express how grateful i am for these realistic, truly useful insights
Thank you! Yes! Agitation!
I'm so grateful to have found you! You are like my elder sister who is genuinely empathetic and wants to see me get better!😊
Yes, I am still struggling with focusing on my behaviour around food.. I know that have to look deeper but I still don't understand myself and emotions or feel overwhelmed and just turn to food.
And I guess i still constantly think about food out of habit and the lack of purpose and connection in my life.
Thank you for addressing emotions in that way.
So glad I found you.
Thank you for acknowledging that compassion is so much better than being a polyanna! Your channel is awesome
❤❤❤❤Sarah you are a treasure!!!! So lucky I feel to have found you and to be able to understand English and let your words of wisdom go into my soul and help me to find the way to heal ❤ You are a great therapist. Actually, the only one who truly helps and understands
I really love listening to your video's and the podcast even tough I feel like I am recoverd. Listening to you is like a safe space. Your character shining trough and your spontaneity, make me feel like I am listening to a good friend. Please keep up the good work. Consistently listen to you has helped me tremandeously with chaging my toughts around food and body image. Thanks a lot Sarah!
What a powerful message. Thank you
Thank you so so much. I mean it. Thank you for helping me feeling better.
So gratefull ive found your Channel! Thankyou so much for your work and effort, its being noticed and appreciated and changing People’s lifes ❤
I need to book a therapy session with you..
Ooof…that layering of feelings of shame is really applicable to me. I often feel bad about feeling envious, angry or bitter towards someone. Like I “shouldn’t” be feeling that way. Could be applicable to food too. “What? Yesterday I decided that I wasn’t going to want that!” 😂
Very, very helpful. Thank you so much!!!
Feel better about feeling better. Excellent!
This is the most helpful video. Thank you!!
Lovely video as always Sarah..Nothing to do with it,but I love this hair length on you!🥰😀
Awww, thanks ☺️
Thank you, Sarah, for speaking to this difficult problem of emotional eating. I find myself eating so often when I’m avoiding my feelings - I avoid them to the point that I have trouble even identifying my emotions or my source of discomfort. I truly believe that the answer lies in checking in with myself throughout the day, just like you said. But I avoid doing it! The Daylio app is helping to remind me to check in but I need something more. I really avoid meditation even though it adds so much peace and clarity to my life if i do it. And I even avoid journaling even though I get some of the same benefits. Can you recommend some videos or books to help me actually WANT to check in with myself?
PS, I love your down-to-earth style and your emotional wisdom. It is so refreshing. Thank you for these videos!
Great video !!!
Thank you so much for clarifying the emotional mud I feel. Such common sense and care - this is a huge help . Keep going please. Thank you ❤
Your videos are so helpful. Thanks very much
You are amazing! I love how you explain things!❤
You're wonderful. Thank you very much ❤
ive been working with a therapist for around 3 years on a weekly basis, trying to recover from bulimia which evolved to binge eating disorder. On tuesday out of the blue she said she cant help me any more because my ED is based in a trauma, dissociated state and she hasnt got the skills or experience to work with that and that i need to see someone else. Its so destabilising, i feel so vulnerable. I know shes trying to help me but ive taken it so badly. :(
I’m so sorry to hear this. 3 years is a long time to put your trust in someone to help. Can they signpost you to a therapist who can help? ❤️🩹
Find an EMDR therapist. Their training and skill is in trauma resolution.
Much love to you! She may not be able to continue but there certainly is someone out there that can 🩷
Sarah, when you said kindness and compassion will transform everything, guaranteed! I truly believe you with all my heart. I really do. It's challenging to do that sometimes, but I can experience the impact it has on me when I am not too hard on myself. Thank you! ♥️♥️♥️
I really love your new hair cut Sarah. I suits you. ♥️
So true ❤
Hello,Sarah. I enjoy your videos. Your voice is very calming,you always give good advice and support us. Thanks.
From today's video and my experience, I concluded that I eat to cope with sports. I started working out to manage binge eating and other life problems. But it became kind of an addiction and creates so much anxiety and consumes lots of time. What do you think about fitness addiction and how to overcome it? I would be very grateful and interested to listen about it!
Oh Sarah, I definitely need shaking. You have permission to rattle my shoulders. Visually that is. I'm giggling out loud. I also have a rebellious, avoidance streak and I fall into a southern drawl with my catchphrase: "F all, y'all. I need to work on many things and the one you mentioned 'feeling better about feeling bad' makes me go to my 5 y.o. self and just hug her infinitely. Yeah a bit sobering and teary eyed AND it's OK. These mini sessions are deep and sometimes draining for me. Once again a heartfelt thank you.
Iced coffee just for me on weeks I need a vacation 😌I love how espresso makes me tired and also consoled like a new pocket is created just for me to take the edge off raw emotions or busyness and I love that I just feel I need it periodically and it’s a temporary pocket for relaxing guaranteed:)
Other times I think I like food because I appreciate the art the textures and the expressiveness of the experience but also growing up I was taught food is love. I don’t feel that’s true but I like it sometimes and other times I’m fine with fasting too. I think the hardest thing for me is consistency and when I am most grounded in other ways regularly and accountable disciplined in a few other ways and then I don’t feel I need much food those days. Consistency is so hard. I am an emotional eater not sure I’m a binge eater but I’m not sure. 🤔 your video is refreshing and somewhere I am in the spectrum
Of emotional eating and some
Discipline and accountability but life does ebbs and flow and that part is sometimes annoying when some
Weeks I do go to food
Or espresso for some satisfaction. Sometimes I think I like to eat just because it makes me feel more alive if it has lots of flavors etc. fascinating to become aware of all of this.. being safe enough to feel and observe the patterns and not
make myself feel bad. To talk to myself more kindly I am slowly doing that. Some days no but that’s the perfectionistic goal driver me too. Your voice is relaxing. Thanks!
Thank you for these powerful insights. Have you done a video about the difference between binge eating, emotional eating, conplusive eating etc.? If yes, could you post a link? If not, would you consider doing one? I know I can look it up for myself but I love the way you explain things and I'm sure you will add your special touch to it. Thank you so much for your support❤
I sure have! th-cam.com/video/fcm0shSsQ6o/w-d-xo.htmlsi=kOSvb7nqwHrq7joC
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thank you so much 💕
"If I could just shake you..." 😂 Cracked me up. I'm going to try just naming my feelings to see how that lands. Also, I've been thinking a lot about how you've often named The Rebel, for instance, and I've been interpreting some of your approach as being careful not to trigger these parts of ourselves. Do you think there's value in working it from the other end as well by maybe addressing The Rebel or demand avoidance with parts work or something similar?
A gentle loving shake of course 😉
I don't see this process as avoiding triggering the rebel, quite the contrary, I think it's about making friends with our inner rebel and recognising that it's trying to help, even if it seems to be going about it in a less than helpful way. We probably do benefit from trying to make our rebels less reactive, but that feels different to me than avoiding triggering it. Hope that makes sense.
Thank you very much for sharing. My 25 year old daughter has been suffering from binge chew and spit almost everyday for a few years. She's living with me and I am very concerned about her mental and physical health.
Whenever I see her doing the binge chew and eat mostly from the afternoon, I talk to her empathically asking her to talk out her emotion and tell me if there is anything sad that has led her to numb herself with such practices. Just trying to lend a shoulder and help. She hates my intervention and even throw things at me.
Can you do a video to tell how a caring mother can do to help please?
I’ve always struggled with this but it became a lot worse when I had my daughter. I’ve realized that I’ve been using eating as an outlet because my usual outlets, I cannot do while caring for her. Drawing, crochet, and other crafts are out the window. I can still mindlessly eat though…
I found out denying my negative emotions makes things worse, and it’s ok to have them.
Thank you lm going to try these things. I'm autistic and have alexithymia, I've come to realise that not being in touch with my emotions is a big part of my binge eating. I will check in with myself throughout the day and see if l can tell how lm feeling. I also have trouble with interoception so dont know if lm hungry, thirsty, full etc so l need to find a way around that too. One thing at a time.
One way in with alexithymia is checking in with your thoughts/beliefs e.g. rather than asking yourself what you feel, ask yourself what you believe about yourself/life in this moment. It can be a way in to understanding your experience more ❤️
Something you said, i think in another video about psychological blockers spoke to me deeply - being afraid to feel negative emotions because i'm scared they wont go away.
I am in the phase now where i have mostly gotten past the binge eating, but am still struggling with compulsive eating and overeating. Are there any books you would recommend for someone in this stage? I need help recognizing, naming, and feeling my emotions.
Would you recommend your book? Are there other as well that helped you/your patients?
Well, yes, I would recommend my book. The whole RALIC method I offer is around recognising, accepting and moving through your emotional experience ❤️
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist thank you 😊
Thoughts on Brooke Castillo's perspective on weight loss? I'm a big fan of hers and am trying to reconcile her style with intuitive eating.
I like Brooke Castillo's ideas and was really into her stuff for a few years around 2014-2018ish, but I gradually moved away from her podcast as it started to feel less relevant to me. Her approach to weight loss doesn't align with the way I think about it. It's not as terrible as some weight loss advice/programmes out there, it could help a non disordered eater, but I wouldn't recommend it for disordered eating / eating disorder recovery.
Interesting that emotional eating isn't necessarily coming from a place that's definable ... now there's a thought worth rolling around my head. I keep a detailed spreadsheet tracking my weight loss progress (good or bad) ... everything I eat, drink, every amount of physical activity ... all in a bid for absolute personal accountability. The whole lying to myself thing needed to stop and the EXCEL FILE, large and looming on my desktop has been guiding that very difficult transition. There is a NOTES section that is really quite critical of my day to day. It's my inner voice and self talk inked in perpetuity ... and he's not very happy with me apparently. Sigh ... I feel like I am in a cycle of Self Tough Love. I'm not sure if it's very ... "Mental Healthy" ...
As a follower of Christ this lines up with scripture. God says to take out thoughts captive, pulling down strongholds which are lies we believe. ❤️
Okay, but what do you do when you feel agitated apart from acknowledging it?
Hi! I have a question, i have been bulimic for about 2 years now and I really want to stop, but i always go through these cycles of not binging for like a day ( I barely eat that day, like 600 calories) and then I end up binging again. I am scared of gaining weight again. Will I gain weight If I start eating normally again? if yes, how do I stop feeling that fear? I want to become healthy again 😢
Hi there,
I’m so sorry that you are stuck in that cycle. It’s a horrible trap to be in. The questions you’re asking are so big and the answer would need to be a personalised one as it’s not a one size fits all. It wouldn’t be possible for me to answer this in a comment without knowing you, your history or your current situation. I would say for most people, it isn’t possible to get rid the fear of gaining weight, but rather getting some support to get it to a a manageable level to confront it. I don’t know where you are in the world, but I hope you can access some professional support ❤️
Thank you so much for responding ❤️❤️❤️
🍀✌️
I appreciate you often giving me a little emoji 🙏 It helps ❤
Tell it like it is,you are smart and clever and beautiful,but you still may need to see a good orthodontist 🫤
This seems like an odd comment. Why do you say this?