Any chance of having translated subtitles of your podcasts, Steven? Looking for French or Italian. You and your guests need to be heard further than in English-speaking countries! Always so interesting x
Why you are contradicting yourself you say hit the like button and share and you say I hope no one is listening but if you are please don’t tell anyone. How can this be?!!!!!
At 23 I had a friend who was an international model who always insisted that I wouldn't lose weight until I liked my body. I laughed at her of course because obviously it was easy for her to say and obviously I would never like my body while I was too big. I moved a couple of years later and for the first time I had a group of healthy female friends (as in not toxic) who celebrated me as myself. And I'd never had that (other than the model all my female friends were not good people). The more I heard from them that I was beautiful, the more I started to believe them. And one day I understood what my model friend had meant. Once I truly liked myself without condition I lost weight without trying. I wasn't obsessed with it anymore and I chose a much better life for myself and almost as a side effect it just fixed itself.
What you resist persists! I agree with you completely! If you look at food as the enemy, it’s never going to align with your body and it’s always gonna work against you.
*YESSSSS!!!! It is so irritating when the host won’t allow their guests. who they brought on for listeners to hear their story, to speak without interrupting their thought process.*
Yes! He really does just breathe and let it unfold. The tone he sets makes it SO easy to reflect and integrate during the interview because you arenʻt having to manage any incessant distractions or surprises.
@@lauramitchell6725 I was only having this conversation with someone the other day nobody eats a block of chocolate because they’re starving this is what I struggled with she made a comment saying she wasn’t enjoying the food that’s when she she was addicted however me on the other hand I’ve been Jeep because I love the food. Definitely don’t eat because I’m hungry I eat because I enjoy the taste of food does this mean I’m not addicted? I’m actually more confused after watching this video.
@@Voidmaster560no no that’s just some peoples experience. I felt the same. I enjoy food that’s why I’m fat. I’m addicted. Just apply the bits that pertain to you. Everyone is different.
A friend of mine told me when I didn't want to buy a dress until I lost weight, " Well, then you're punishing yourself twice." I bought the dress. I'm going to get her book. Thank you.
I have been able to lose significant amounts of weight three times in my life. All three times, I have only gotten my head into the space to succeed when I have gotten new clothes that allow me to feel good, spent money on grooming supplies, or in other ways have been kind to myself. I have given up wondering why this is so, but the concepts that Shahroo communicated ring true to me. Not having a “normal” metabolism, I do have to follow an eating plan in order to lose weight. But first, I have to get into a mindset where I am ready to do so. When I am not in that mindset, I cannot imagine myself getting there. When I am in it, I do not understand why it is always so hard to achieve. Being interested in plans for things I want to do is part of being successful. Wanting to do some things just for myself, that no one else will value, seems a part of the current version of the good mindset. I hope that I can hold on to this state this time. It may be my very last chance to do so.
I have been waiting to get a beautiful dress which was gifted by my would be mother-in-law stitched till I lost weight. Now I will go get it stitched this weekend and show her the result. She would love that. Thanks for sharing!
This podcast is legendary: I lost over 100 pounds by going to the gym everyday for 90 days to touch the wall in the Lockeroom. Some days I didn’t work out but most days since I was there I did.
@@mikerichter1694 didn’t he just say 90 days. Although that’s seem incredibly rapid. 90lbs should be lost over a year or so. Maybe a bit quicker, 36 weeks. 1-2 lbs a week ideally. Although the first 20lbs you should be able to get off quicker. Focus on your diet, calorie counting is important, I recommend intermittent fasting, don’t have your first meal until like 2-4pm and don’t eat after 10pm. 16 hours no food, 8 hour eating window. I’ve found that’s the easiest way to stick to the calorie restriction necessary to lose weight. As I found my hunger didn’t really get ravenous until I had my first small snack / meal of the day. Then I was hungry again shortly after within 1-2 hours, so if you are already eating at 8am, it’s hard to stick to a calorie restriction of 300-600 calories below your maintenance calories. Also, working out helps, although diet is 80% of weight loss, working out will increase your confidence and adding muscle will help your burn more calories daily just from your metabolism, and looking in the mirror seeing some slightly toned muscles coming in is a huge confidence boost! Also, black coffee is your friend for avoiding eating while intermittent fasting until you have that first meal at 2-4pm.
Yes, I have said this very thing to people over the past two years that I’ve been really struggling and it’s great to hear it here. Parts work seems to help some people with this, but not all of us, of course.
As a fellow Iranian, I am so proud of her. She is very articulate and her message is very refreshing. Simple yet powerful. Woman, Life, Freedom is my wish for all the women on this planet
Overweight says: trauma, shame, devaluation, unworthiness, abuse, loneliness, self destructive behaviour, cognitive dissonance, and a big etc....please stop judging overweight people, we never know what causes.... I lost weith since i started practicing self love, acceptance and detachment.... I am not hungry anymore. I wish healing and recovery to all overweight people out there.
@@BlackPenzo thanks, I am glad for you too, in my case I started to dealing with childhood issues, it seems I was keeping inside and carry them until I resolved them then weight started to melted, still I have some extra pounds but now I know I'll loose them with my diet: self love and caring. Finally I understand why diets with nutritionist never worked: overweight has to do with emotions not food.
I have a friend while we were in Nursing school, said her mother told her she would never succeed in the program. I was shocked that a mother would discourage their kid like that, I told her you prove her wrong, now she has succeeded with a higher degree than any of us. I am soo proud of her. We need to also not pay attention to other people’s voice not just ours.
Very true - I once was told I would have the perfect body if I lost 10lbs. I never really paid much mind before that but to be delivered two polarities at the same time - I could have The PERFECT Body but I don’t because I have to lose 10lbs has driven me crazy for years … funny thing is the thought doesn’t change so when I would lose weight 10-20lbs the thought was still there I would have the perfect body if I lost 10lbs so it never ends
My father told me he wouldn't pay for my college, as he was paying for my brother. So I bet him that if he paid for the preparatory course, I would pass the free uni. He told me "You won't pass, your brother didn't." I convinced him to pay for it anyway as he had nothing to lose. The day it was published in the paper that I passed and he gave me a hug - well, I was pissed. For the record, my brother was always a worse student than me. Everybody knew this, except my father, apparently.
I lost 80 pounds in weight. Took me a few years. Was depressed, went into a cycle of low self esteem, ate for comfort. Reached rock bottom when I was lonely. My family encouraged me. Now I have a girlfriend and a life. Binge dieting is a curse. Take a long term view. Healthy diet, gentle exercise.
So interesting, see I have been really depressed in my life and had some level of OCD and obsession with healthy eating but I'm naturally skinny and if anything my advice for myself and how I've overcome my depression is the complete opposite. I eat once a day but I eat like a elephant, 12 egg yolks scrambled with buttered toast, 2 tins of sardines with coleslaw with buttered toast, chilli con carne with a whole tin of kidney beans and minced beef, a whole head of broccoli, cheese, yoghurt, and all the beneficial supplements. I eat all of that in about 90 minutes and don't eat again until the next day. And when it comes to exercise, it's to extreme failure, when the muscles literally fail to work. And for work I'm lugging about 25-50kg bags all day long, but I can noticeably feel the difference. I can quite literally feel the clouds part and the sun start to shine through. The long term view works for some, but if it takes hold of your life such that you are not living, you're better off just living, because those view extra years will be in vain
@@zentzu4003 yolks without the whites makes zero sense, why do u remove the whites? Also fyi, though cooked yolks taste nice, lightly cooking them is best, and raw is ideal, bcuz yolks contain a one of kind compound in the food world, which is seriously antiinflammatory, but only when not heated ever.
People tend to get their results and then paint them with their preferred justification. Studies show that it won't last. More than 95% of weight loss programs fail in the long run. That tiny minority starve themselves and exercise like it was their job. Simply not sustainable for most people. Strong metabolic processes come into play to get you back at your higher weight. I've lost 180 pounds. Kept it off for almost 10 years, and then it started to get all back.
@@18_rabbit yolks are more protien calorie and nutrient dense, it's alot of food to eat in 90 minutes, I literally dont have the stomach to add the whites in too, also trying to keep the protien a bit lower it's currently at about almost 200g which is too much I would rather 150g, but bear in mind I do this diet because I can eat it in 90 minutes, and it is food I genuinely enjoy, like these are my favourite foods, I could take them raw it's a good thought, that way I could eat them even faster but scrambled egg is so good taste wise, it's my favourite food, but I eat this food, knowing I hit every micronutrients and it gives me the mindset to be able to push myself knowing that I'm going to be okay because I am giving myself everything it needs, and something else to add this food is not very messy, I mean the washing up after is very minimal and once I've eaten that's it, I don't need to worry about eating for the rest of the day, so I would say within 2 hours I have cooked eaten cleaned up and I now have 14 hours to work go gym do whatever
"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Love this episode and it reminded me of this quote. Almost every time I eat in a way that is out of alignment with my health and my goals there is some tension around who I should be, what I should have finished by the end of the day/week/year, what I should have said or done, etc. and I'm trying to medicate with food.
Love the quote, and true, 'shoulds' lead to tension and naturalness leads to relaxation. I think its a valuable marker then to check in on your body and see which is it in, then you can trace it back to what 'should' or any other state of mind is causing it.
Right Kat?! It really touched me everything she said. I had various eating disorders and exactly what she talks about is what changed my life. These are conversations that truly help so many.
When I was a junior in high school (90s), it was about trying to starve so you might look like Angelina Jolie. Thankful I have better advice for my girls.
I don’t often comment on TH-cam videos but I really loved this podcast. Although such a simple idea, to be kind to yourself, it’s something I’ve found incredibly hard. On Sunday I took a little bit of extra time for myself and I felt incredible. On Monday I had some stressful news and strangely my inner voice was saying, ‘You’re fat, lazy, too stupid to deal with this etc etc.’ by the afternoon I caught what I was doing and realised I had gone the whole morning without drinking water and I’d skipped my workout. All I wanted to do was binge eat. Then I remembered the message behind this podcast and started to be kind to myself. Sorry for the long message I just wanted to share what a difference this idea had on a day that was starting to downward spiral. Thank you!
That is a great example! Good job too! You took a moment to 'check in' with yourself as she says, and you decided to be kind to yourself. The thoughts are so automatic and even sometimes unconscious, it takes practice to spot them when they start.
❤ I love this! Sometimes we need the “longer” messages because it’s usually somewhere in those that we can see ourselves. The relatability of the story makes the journey less lonesome. Thank you for sharing!
Shahroo is one of the kindest, most beautiful souls. I hope her message reaches everyone that needs it. Lucky enough to have worked with her one on one and i have never come across anybody who is as kind, funny and encouraging as she is. She wants you to win. She is also incredibly honest and straight forward. She doesn’t piss about saying it like it isn’t. Most importantly.. she gets it. She understands the struggle because she has been there. I cannot think of anyone more deserving to be on the podcast. 😊
Has anyone found any photos of her before. Did she say she weighed nearly 277 pounds? 126 kilos? I've scoured the net, Ive not found anything but the close up face photo/
This podcast was one of those profound moments of “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” for me. Lifetime of rote trying and failing, with weight, I had just recently come to the same conclusion that kindness has got to be first, and the (eating/food) desires will align themselves naturally for us as we go, and work out for us better and better as our nervous systems calm down and we really do begin to believe we are safe and content. I think the rote way I was raised and schooled when I was younger (no offense to my parents who were loving but did not know) contributed to the wrong type of perfectionistic mindset that never allowed that sacral part of me to expand and think for itself. Now the future is looking much brighter! I am excited to see where we go from here, personally, societally, and worldwide.
This is the first time i’ve heard someone describe putting enjoyment and self care on hold until you’re x amount of weight. So unbelievably true. What a profound episode❤️
This is what Lizzo is saying as well. People misunderstand body positivity as everything goes. What Lizzo has said numerous times is "l deserve to love and be loved and to live my life, regardless of size. I don't need to shrink to go on a stage"
The timing of this video is bizarre. Yesterday, honestly it was yesterday, I was discussing struggles with motivation and self esteem with a very close friend, when I said maybe a good move would be to compile an "achievement diary" and a "take your own advice" notebook. Every morning, open a page to remind myself of something I've achieved that I'm proud of, and talk to myself like I talk to others when they come to me for support. Thank you for another awesome episode ☺️
I love this so much. My life changed the most when I realized how awful I actually treat myself, mostly through self-talk. No exaggeration, it would be considered mental & emotional abuse if I spoke to others that way or had the same expectations for others that I had for myself. The real shock was all that while thinking I was a total slacker who had to be forced to get anything done- it was actually well disguised perfectionism. I saw a quote that said perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.
Can we just take a second to give Steven credit. He took our concerns about his nutrition science related guests and used that feedback to bring THIS EPISODE 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 now that’s commendable!
So true and helps us all understand and appreciate that we are all human and must indeed, be kinder and as nice to ourselves as we need be to others..... ♥
What were the concerns out of curiosity? I listened to one episode and found it difficult (as a nutritionist myself) that he didn't push back on some of the information.
@@sophiapower927 Has anyone found any photos of her before. Did she say she weighed nearly 277 pounds? 126 kilos? I've scoured the net, Ive not found anything but the close up face photo/
I am an extremely underweight person that should not lose a pound of weight, but I learned from this podcast, and messaged my therapist. Thank you. I should be kinder to myself, and not punish myself for being the perfect version I envision for myself. I will keep moving towards it, but encourage myself instead of talking down to myself.
I will be listening to this one again and again. Childhood home was abusive and my mom and I both turned to food for comfort. I've been up and down in weight my entire life. I know how to lose weight. Its only been since the pandemic that I really sat with the "why" of my poor choices. I've slowly come to the realization that I believe I need to punish myself by not taking care of myself. What a process! I'll be getting Shahroo's books. Thank you Steven for all of your fascinating discussions.
This is really interesting. Having had a narcissist father who was aggressive I used my weight to keep myself just unattractive enough to not attract attention. I lost weight unintentionally when I met a man who was kind and didn’t criticise me. It was like my subconscious decided men were no longer a threat and I didn’t need the weight to keep them away.
I have watched many of your podcasts. I am a 71 year old Grandma, and I have always been a student of life. I think you are wonderful. This lady you have just interviewed seems very wise to me! Through experience of living her ideas have born the most fruit for me. Also I could grow stronger in some of the attitudes she expressed. Bless you 😊 Nana
This is one of the best podcast episodes and one of the most inspiring guests I have ever listened to. There were so many moments I just wanted to pause to thank her for her authenticity, compassion, vulnerability and integrity. What an amazing woman. Thank you for setting the environment and giving space for her to express herself fully and for honouring that as well.
So agree, it was light and simple and I felt like a peer rather than head so far back because they are way way up there and I’m down here and need to find a way to ‘improve myself’ yet through this particular experience I felt I was sitting next to this very talented woman and involved in the conversation, thank you x
What did she say specifically that you enjoyed? The part about not dieting has been known for years. She really only said, "Take responsibilkty". I think I must have watched a different podcast than you did.
I really liked this episode, taking care of myself by allowing myself to wear colorful clothes and to buy new clothes that actually fit instead of buying clothes that ill fit into in the 'future' allowed me to lose 11kgs so far,as well as developing a skincare,gentle exercise routine and actually taking care of my appearance
Yes. I don’t even have pictures with my children because I don’t feel good enough to be in pictures. I don’t feel good enough to dress up in a dress. So my first child has pictures with me when she was young all decked out with my hair makeup dressed up etc. because I was thin when I had her and then after my other 2 children have none of those same experiences and memories with me. It’s sad.
In this day and age you can be photo shopped into pictures.. lol Im just jking . I know what you mean about not being in any photos, to this day im still like that and the question is why?
I just now decided to not do that anymore. Or rather give myself permission to be in an occasional photo. Only because I wanted these photos with my son at this age.
Can't believe this is true. I lost 160 lb by just loving myself. I didn't even change my eating habits. I just looked at myself in the mirror and I said to myself everyday, "I love you, You're beautiful and you deserve to be skinny!". It really works everybody!!
I’m just at the beginning of that journey. For me my bad behaviors are responses to something traumatic that happened in my childhood that I never healed from. The trauma was at the hands of family members so I’d eat at family functions because of the stress of forced interaction. By eating I didn’t have to interact as much. There is a lot of shame I’ve had as a result as saying something would rock the boat cause a scene and increase trauma exponentially. Realizing now that eating habit was a result of trauma and having a conversation with my mom about all of it openly removed all the shame. I’m not eating my feelings now
She is speaking what I am going through. Mental issues, eating disorders anorexia. I can even begin to imagine. I am stil struggling with my weight but I am better than where I am coming. My therapist told me to be kind to myself but I didn’t understand until I listened to this podcast. I am hoping I can recover fully
Yet again another interview with a game changer. My favourite podcast used to be Tim Ferriss but now it’s this one. Not only will interviews like this change lives, they will save lives. This channel is something so special. Thank you. X
Thank you for this. You are amazing to have a female voice like this on your show. She’s the voice we need to hear. Especially us 80’s babies/ 90’s kids. I know many people my age whos mothers were very harsh about weight and appearance and it effected us deeply. You are both amazing! ❤
I really like her. Excellent person! Love her strength, honesty, her self reflection and transparency, her articulation, and how much she gives in caring for other people. This is a beautiful introduction to her thoughts and beliefs.
Wonderful content! My life changed this last year . I’m a 38 y/o woman who has struggled with alcohol and addiction since high school. A year and a half ago I lost my mom and step dad to alcohol related issues. I was already a few years into a depression where I had gained about60 pounds. I worked at my problems constantly and got what felt like nowhere ( I see now I was gathering info with an inability to implement) until early last year. With therapy, tons of self help workbooks , a daily meditation practice and the right medication my whole life has changed. I started being loving to myself and gave myself more space and my actions changed. It started with a bath every evening and then meditation first thing in bed started. Learning where my emotional intelligence could use some work has had me working on my willpower and esteem. Walking in nature as often as possible. Speaking differently to myself. After making different decisions for the last year I finally trust myself, and as much as I know things are cyclical, I’m basking in this moment because it’s been a long long time. Really I don’t know if I ever have . It’s funny you mention the chocolate because I brought some into my house to practice, lol. I’ve lost all the weight ( too quickly at the beginning of last year) but at this point I’m happy with my habits on average. I definitely still have a tendency to want to overindulge but It’s become much less of an issue as my self love has grown. I related to so much of what was said . Thank you for sharing so openly.
I wish I could just hug her!!!!!! Being a 66 year old female that recognizes so many ways I did not empower my daughters causes me to really appreciate her passion for being determined that this foolishness stops with her generation. I send her the biggest "Get it done!" that I am capable of doing Thank you so much for sharing your platform with her. You are such an incredible person.
I feel so sad. My eldest daughter struggles with her weight. I tried with what I knew back then. I have done all the WRONG things to help her. I am so sorry.😔
My mom was the same, and it would mean the world to me if she acknowledged the messages she sent me. You can still say to them now what you wish you knew then. If that would feel good for you and them.
Shahroo is such a powerful yet eloquent speaker! Life changing stuff! I'm going to re listen to it over and over. I am never kind to myself, as I approach 50 I do not recall ever being genuinely kind to myself. Trauma has defined my life, overeating is my coping strategy. I'm so grateful for this podcast. My instinct is screaming at me to embrace what I've just heard. My whole adult life I've never worn a dress because I'm too big. What i would do to sit in a room with Shahroo and work it all out. In the absence of that my next task is to buy and read her books 👍😊
I needed this so much, thank you. Watched twice and made 7 pages of notes, sobbing in the meantime. Thank for your work, and for the courage to ask simple, yet powerful and opening questions like "why", "how did you feel like", etc. while so many other TH-camrs tend to guess or "know better" what their guest is trying to say. Thanks a million ❤
This is such a wonderful topic and amazing information. Im 52. Ive punished myself since I was put on the scales at ballet class, aged 11 and told I wouldnt go to the comps if I didnt lose 3kg. 😤 I cant help the booty and thighs I was born with and growing up in the 80s full of supermodels and skinny girls..... even my mother poked fun at me. I am still suffering in the same patterns explained here. Its so debilitating....everything here hit home. I have been homding myself back from living with my child and even in my career. Bless you for this platform and bringing this to us. X
I have so much respect for this remarkable woman. Not only is she clearly very wise and perceptive, but also so compassionate, graceful and so respectful of other people's experiences. I can't wait to read everything you've written, Shahroo! Thank you
The thing about the child and the 11 am snack was a mind blowing moment for me. I screen recorded it so I can replay it every time I want to binge on bad food. Thank you for this great interview ✨
@@Balletified She was talking about people asking how they can be simultaneously firm and kind with themselves because they feel like kindness can bring them to give in the bad habit/ addiction vs firmness might work for a lil while but has its limit and burn out too. Then she says the most important part is the conversation you have with yourself and to think of it like a parent discovering that a treat they always give their kid at 10 am is actually toxic so they have to stop giving it. How would you expect the kid to react and what would be your reaction? You'd expect him/her to kick out, rebel, cry, plead and you'd welcome it with compassion cause yes it would feel hard and unfair and surprising but also you would stay firm and hold on for the well-being of your kid :) And you would repeat this process with kindness, compassion and firmness together until it feels easier to the kid and like it's actually nothing to be without the treat. VS yelling at the kid to hold it together or being overwhelm by their reaction and giving them a toxic treat again!
Personally, for me this was the best podcast I have listened to, tremendous amount of incredible good information and knowledge that this woman has. Not only that, but the fact that so many of us can relate to the issues that she is addressing it just shows that there is hope out there and it is possible. Wow, it was a valuable talk, I am looking forward to perhaps discover a more in depth perspective in her book
This moved me to tears because it spoke to my very being. If I put as much effort into actually being better as I do hiding not being good enough I would be amazing. But WHY am I not? Off to buy her book. Thankyou for this podcast
YES >>> "You remind them of their capacity to do something difficult, you remind them of the times they've done difficult things in the past, and you support them... plus you give them perspective. ..." and "Kindness gets $hit done." S. Izadi
Breathtakingly brilliant! You can have her on every week as far as I'm concerned. Never heard anyone talk more sense about the "dark places" many of us inhabit.
Wow! What an amazing woman! I hung on her lips, paused the video several times, wrote down her words, and absolutely loved it! Thank you for introducing Shahroo Izadi to us❤
This was a very powerful episode for me. Thank you so much for making this possible, Steve. The thing I love most about your podcasts is the powerful vulnerability that you and your guests share. The honesty of Shahroo Izadi talking about her lack of kindness to herself, and the way eating after gastric banding was just another form of punishment for her creates a space for me to look at all the ways that I have failed at self-kindness. Thank you both.
Her inner dialogue was so similar to what's going inside of me, so glad I stumbled upon this video. Finally someone talking about deeper understanding of behavioural change. Loving it ❤❤
"The ability to bring it back....is a power and a trust in myself..and a sense of integrity when no oneʻs watching. That seeps into every area of my life." Thank you for these words. That is the vision I want for myself. More than the end result as a number, I want to trust myself and have the integrity to behave in a way that leads to more self-respect, not more self-loathing.
This is a profound video. After watching literally hundreds and hundreds of TH-cam videos on all areas of personal transformation, this one stands at the very top.
That was a most refreshing change from the type of discussions we usually get to hear. So many subtle but powerful ideas. I wish I'd taken notes, but it will be a pleasure to listen again so win-win.
This is one of my favourite podcasts you have ever done. It felt incredibly refreshing to hear a guest be so incredibly authentic on such a difficult topic. I admire her mission and I hope she is successful!!! ❤
For me on a personal level this is the best episode yet. Watched this a day ago, demolished Shahroo's book in a matter of hours. The absolute right person at the right time for me. Well done, Ste! Brilliant episode. Brilliant guest. Brilliant show!
Thank you so much for this Shahroo, what you have said really resonates, food is my drug. I have been dieting since I was 13, non-stop diets for the past 40 years. I have "fat girl clothes and thin girl clothes". I just can't sustain thinness and my life revolves around when I am thin again: I will feel great, I will be more motivated, I will exercise more and so on. I will embarrassed and ashamed when I meet with friends and family, this is even when I really was not that over weight. I feel like something in me is broken as I am a strong independent person but food is my kryptonite. As a whole I practice compassion but have neglected myself. I have ordered "The Kindness Method’ and ‘The Last Diet’ as I am exhausted in fighting the battle of the bulge. Thank you Steven for this podcast it could not come at a better time 🙏.
@angelwilliams3088 your message resonated so deeply with me. Especially the avoidance of family and friends because of how embarrassed I am about how I look and how fat I got. I hope you are feeling better. ❤❤❤
What an eye-opening talk you had with Shahroo Izadi today. Omg, everything she said makes so much sense. I also hope the 'diet' nonsense we grew up with definitely dies with our generation. I know that I would have had a better relationship with food and myself without hearing my worth was dependent on my size. Thank you so much to both of you.
Every diet book and guru always say “know your why”, with the idea being if you know why you want to be different, it will keep you motivated towards your goal. This conversation made it clear to me that I have been looking at the wrong “why?”. Instead of the why I want to change, which proves to be a weak motivator in the difficult moments, I should be asking myself why I am doing what I KNOW does not work and is not good for me and why I am motivated to go off a track that feels so much better. It makes no sense, looking from the outside, why people do over and over again what has ALWAYS made them feel disappointed in themselves before. I look forward to reading both books and appreciate the piece I have been avoiding for so long.
I am blown away! I have no words but just to say thank you. Thank you for voicing thoughts I have had from the age of 13, thoughts about myself that I was too ashamed to say aloud. I've said some pretty horrible things to myself and I will come back to this podcast and listen again and again. "Kindness gets shit done!"
What a wonderful and beautiful woman!!! One personal observation is that people who accomplish something in life had to overcome some issues early on in their lives. Many people crumble under the pressure of their problems, but some come up on top and stronger and wiser.
This entire podcast really hits home especially the example with the banana and canister of cream. I did keto 4 years ago and it has totally ruined my relationship with food plus I’ve put most of the weight back on. I was stuck in a loop of diet and extreme restriction to bingeing. The operative word being was, after watching this I have hope and a spark of trust in myself when it comes to food. I thought I was alone in this but it’s comforting to know I am not. I am powerful and intelligent. It’s changing your mindset and habits enough to set you up for success. ❤
so refreshing to hear Shahroo Izadi talk. Extremely well explained 💕. Gives me a renewed hope on my road to recovery from a binge eating disorder. Thank you Shahroo 💐
This is incredibly empowering! Absolutely amazing teaching, not just for weight loss, but for any aspect of life. The bit about the kid that expects a treat, how you wouldn't expect them to find it easy, just for this it was worth listening.
Thank you so much for this , this podcast came at a time when I am really struggling with focus, I have ADHD and struggle to focus on not only things that I need to do but things that I love to do. Although this is about food and diet, its something that can change behaviour in other aspects of yours. The one thing that stuck is the idea of looking at behaviour and understanding what a behaviour is serving. The next is , not putting my life on hold until I change , but to enjoy life now and also to enjoy the process of getting to the goal
Thank you so much for this episode - as someone who has been struggling and still struggles with binge eating and alcohol for 18 years(and have had gastroduodenitis for the past 3 years) I can finally see some light. The exercise with imagining a person you love and telling them everything you would and then replacing their name with yours is pure gold, I can't believe how much it resonated. Thank you!!!
Shahroo talks about body image growing up in the 1990s was difficult. I grew up in the 1960s. My mother and aunts were so fat-phobic. My sister still has a border anorectic problem, she counts carbs, calories, fat grams you name it. She is under 100 lb. 5"4'. Our mother is so happy and proud of her. I on the other hand have had a weight problem my whole life. I was told I had no willpower and would lose weight if I just stayed on a diet. I am now 68. Mother is 86 and the conversation starts with how much I weigh. Shahroo, when and how does it stop?
Omg it's none of her business what you weigh. I'm pissed for you since u don't want to stick up for yourself . That's your body, not hers. That's a big boundary red flag. 😳 you need to stick up for yourself asap.
Sweetheart THANKYOU Xx exactly the same for me too. I ran away to London and on seeing my mother once again after 6 months away the very first thing out of her mouth was "how is your weight??" Toxic, toxic stupid cow! I am 62 now, she 86.......she is shrivelled thru dieting, a wrinkled mess and yet I STILL think she feels superior. I feel no love for her only pity............I remember once, my husband had been terribly ill and I was breastfeeding longterm simply because we could not AFFORD SMA for our son. I became very slim, for the first time in my life, but I was ill, malnourished and living on tinned peas. My mother "tipped up" to gloat in my despair and said alarmed "Oh my God, you're slimmer than me!!!!"...........The problem is theirs Judith, we in turn will hopefully be much better mothers Xx
@@gigid9606 I know from the outside looking in it is very easy to say your above suggestion. However, I would be disrespectful in my parent's house because this would come from love. When neighbor kids and school bullies are belligerent, what do you expect when you are fat. This stuff really sinks in as you grow up. Are all my female relatives thin? With the exception of my sister, the answer is no. I coped by not talking to my mother or my sister very often and I moved 3000 miles away.
You do not deserve to be treated like that. Commenting on other people’s weight does *not* come from a place of love, but ignorance. It might be their house, but it is *your* body temple.
@@judithcoloma613 Yay ! You go girl! I admire you, 3000 miles should do it. They do not deserve you in their lives, let them tear oneanother apart in your absence Xx
This woman is amazing. She just explained everything I have felt for many years about food. Thank you so much for creating this episode. It has helped me so much. ❤🙂
Absolutely amazing. I was born in 81 and have struggled all my life with body image and dieting, and recently at an all time, dark low. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder last year, and heavier than ever, and am so depressed. Everything she said resonated with me. Everything. All my life I've been waiting until the "moment I'll be thin and deserve it" and my entire live has been on pause since then. And that's a lot of life to give up. 😓 I'm so happy to have discovered you today. It feels God sent. And I can't wait to hear more and learn what I can- I need to change my mind. So happy for her as well, that she was able to transform her mind and how she feels about herself. I aspire to be this. Thank you for this tremendous conversation. I can't wait to discover more about you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’ve listened to a lot of these videos, this one truly had me bawling and I had no idea why. I’ve listened to others speak of battling addictions, suicidal thoughts and dealing with bereavement all with a compassionate ear. But this podcast bought me to tears and it’s simply because I really resonate with the self-criticism, knowing what to do in order to better myself but not doing it, going through that cycle of determination, inaction and then guilt. Thank you for this podcast. I’m off to purchase her books and hopefully gain awareness as to why I don’t treat myself with love when that’s all I ever give to others.
Her book is amazing, another one which helped me with intrusive thoughts was wisdom of anxiety by sheryl paul, she also has an instagram which is really helpful!
This is just what I needed. I'm on a weight loss journey as a woman who has never been thin. It's been so hard, due to food habits where I crave and binge on the wrong food even though I exercise consistently for 6 months.
Trust me, it doesn’t matter what kind of food you binge on. You can binge on healthy foods too, and still get fat (like me), if you eat 3-4 times your daily calories allowance (like me). On the other hand, skinny people often eat utter rubbish and they never get fat, like my sister-in-law, who can eat mainly carbs in their unhealthiest form, eat at night, not exercise, not walk or even move too often, and still remain 46kg 😡🫤.
I think it’s a helpful episode too. I’m sure you can get there. You can try some of the techniques she talks about. Treating yourself like a friend. Asking what the binging might be doing for you (what problem is it solving). I used to binge eat and be 90lbs overweight. It can take a long time to understand the root cause of why we do things. Realising finally that I’m using food to help myself zone out when feeling stressed or overwhelmed was a game changer. It’s never easy. But over time, step by step, you can get to where you want to be. 💪
@@alamedadanceparty thank you for this beautiful and encouraging reply. I appreciate it a lot. Yes I can tell you now, I am already using her techniques. I have just come back from a 2 nights hospital stay due to my 10 month old daughter being admitted there. I knew that the danger would be that I would use chips and sweet to self soothe me through that but I just refused to turn to junk food for that and I have succeeded. My favorite take out from this lady is that we must do the hard/challenging thing a couple of times in a row until it becomes easier. For me the tough thing is how I used to have no impulse control when it comes to managing cravings. So at the hospital I just sat with my feelings until I didn't use junk food to cope with them.
@@alamedadanceparty I have an obese friend, she gets extremely angry and sulky if you even touch this subject. I’m obese too, not morbidly though, and have a lot of optimistic encouragement in the gym - “you can do it” etc. But I loved food since my early childhood, now I’m more conscious of “healthy food” so I’m addicted to healthy food and overeat. The only hope left is bariatric surgery or drugs.
@@khanyisagura4377 yes, it's really difficult to sit with negative emotions when we are used to using food to self soothe. I can 100% relate. You should be proud that you were able to sit with the negative stuff and not try to "zone out" using food. It's only a temporary relief from the stress. I agree, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. This episode is surely one to rewatch because of so many nuggets of wisdom inside. I wish you good health and self love.
I am 62 and 180 lbs. I just started walking 10,000 steps per day (which takes 100 minutes) and I am doing low carb (not no carb), drinking more water and writing down everything I eat. I used to weight 130 lbs in the Army and I felt my best. I think I can do it again. I am on day 3 and am losing 1lb per day so far. I will let you know.
I lost 10 kg on a modified Keto diet. I do not have loads of fat and I am vegetarian. I get my protein from eggs, dairy and legumes. Think of food as nutrition. I prepare my own meals and have had exactly the same food for breakfast lunch and dinner for over 7 years. I have managed to keep off the weight. After a fortnight's holiday, where I had no choice of food, my HbA1c was at 6.5 . That was my wake up call. I went on an extremely low Carb diet. Now my HbA1c is 5.7, I am terrified of becoming diabetic.
100% got chapter 18 out of the army and the shame had me gaining even more weight. I stress are my way out, so her comment about putting space between the trigger and the reaction REALLY hit. I was 130 when I first went in, before binge eating took over. Time to put that space in and stop guilting myself now.
@@anastasiyat5913 Haven't missed a day since I started Mar 26. Today is Apr 30 and I am walking 20 k steps now, on my treadmill, which takes me 3 hrs and 20 min at 3.5 mph.
Oh my goodness, Shahroo is so relateable - everything she is saying, I'm thinking "oh yes, I'm like that". - I've realized I'm one of those that has been putting things on hold for a while..what Sharoo is saying makes so much sense 💓
OMG, I love her! What an intelligent woman! I cant wait to read her books. I have been struggling with weight loss almost my whole life. I have been on a roller coaster of diet and exercise programs only to gain the majority of it all back. I have known for years that I need to change my relationship with food but have been struggling to do it. So recently I have been working on changing my relationship with myself, learning to love myself and trust my instincts. I do need to loose weight because I am having health problems. The doctors keep telling me I need to loose weight but they never give any constructive advice on how to do it. Our medical system is so broken here in USA
Steven, I so look forward to your podcasts… you are doing such great work and service to us all. I truly appreciate your effort, enthusiasm and willingness to share your experiences in these conversations. People you have never met are better for this exchange. I am one. Thank you. 🙏❤️
This has been the most helpful thing Ive heard in all my life in my struggle with weight after 60 years of dieting and 24/7 negative self talk. You are a blessing. Thank you.
This was a delight, and I don't often watch these until the end. All my experience as a human, a therapist, and an observer of how we humans are doing tell me that this is good stuff. "Kindness gets shit done." In a culture that very much points us away from natural, organic being, it is increasingly important that this important message gets addressed from many different angles. Our bodies need our attention, and our nervous system needs regulation. I know she didn't specifically talk about it, but it was incorporated in what she talked about. Loved it!
Shahroo - you are talking about me, where I am now. Anxiety and depression is so hard to fight with. I absolutely salute you! I am hoping I have enough power to get to good place and love myself like you do!
I'm so happy I found this video! I love this approach. It put into words some things I felt but couldn't explain. It also taught me some new things I didn't know. I am wrestling with binge eating issues, which I have had most of my life. Shahroo described the situation exactly. I'm not caring for myself. I'm punishing myself for not being perfect and putting my dream life on hold until I'm "worthy" of them. I'm definitely going to get copies of her books!
This is a podcast I really needed to hear. Thank you for having such inspiring guests who show us that life is so challenging for us all and this 'Instagram' life isn't real at all. So refreshing hearing these experts. This podcast has given me the motivation to want to make change in my life. Just listening to this has really made something click within me. Thank you!
This has hit very close to home. When you're successful and admired in every other domain of life but can't control your eating ... I also got to 126kg and had gastric band surgery (although not in secret). I am a carbohydrate addict and manage my life accordingly. I'm 48kg lighter and have maintained that for 6 years and finally like the person I am
What an amazing woman! Love her honesty and wisdom. Thank you both 🙏 I'm a mature psych student and found this absolutely fascinating. It makes me so sad to think so many people struggle like this and its not spoken about. Whilst I'm lucky to have always had a healthy relationship with food, I can relate so much of this to my struggles with self compassion and worth and in changing my self sabotaging behaviours around this ❤️
IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE PLEASE HIT THE LIKE BUTTON 👍🏽 ON THE VIDEO ❤ By doing that, you’re showing this conversation to even more people 🙏🏽
Check out the psychologist Richard Schwartz. I think he’d really suit your audience.
Why was the release date for the episodes... Change from Monday to Tuesday? ... Thank you... Big fan 😉
Any chance of having translated subtitles of your podcasts, Steven? Looking for French or Italian. You and your guests need to be heard further than in English-speaking countries! Always so interesting x
P
Why you are contradicting yourself you say hit the like button and share and you say I hope no one is listening but if you are please don’t tell anyone. How can this be?!!!!!
At 23 I had a friend who was an international model who always insisted that I wouldn't lose weight until I liked my body. I laughed at her of course because obviously it was easy for her to say and obviously I would never like my body while I was too big. I moved a couple of years later and for the first time I had a group of healthy female friends (as in not toxic) who celebrated me as myself. And I'd never had that (other than the model all my female friends were not good people). The more I heard from them that I was beautiful, the more I started to believe them. And one day I understood what my model friend had meant. Once I truly liked myself without condition I lost weight without trying. I wasn't obsessed with it anymore and I chose a much better life for myself and almost as a side effect it just fixed itself.
That is soo inspiring thank you! ❤
@kombucha. that is a bizarre perspective to go through life with...
That was your cortisol going down
@@nabiaghulamali7585 Exactly. Unfortunately it's not always easy to fix that part.
What you resist persists! I agree with you completely! If you look at food as the enemy, it’s never going to align with your body and it’s always gonna work against you.
“I wasn’t by myself anymore - I was with myself” …. This is beautifully put.
I love it….i’m with myself, not by myself.
♥️♥️♥️
He is such a great host. He allows his guest to speak without cutting them off.
*YESSSSS!!!! It is so irritating when the host won’t allow their guests. who they brought on for listeners to hear their story, to speak without interrupting their thought process.*
Yes! He really does just breathe and let it unfold. The tone he sets makes it SO easy to reflect and integrate during the interview because you arenʻt having to manage any incessant distractions or surprises.
Robert Greene said the same thing to him that after being in hundreds of interviews he is one of the best.
I couldn't agree more. It's a lost skill. Too many hosts want to be the guest as well
The best desicion I ever made was getting the ebook Woman’s weight loss secrets: the unspoken truth, it completly changed my life
When she said "I was never overweight because I was enjoying food" I FELT THAT. Thank you for this!
I’ve always laughed when someone said, “I didn’t feel hungry on this plan!” Huh?,who eats because they’re hungry?😵💫😖
google rspk agent / energy vampires (you have to entertain and feed ... LITERALLY.
@@lauramitchell6725 I was only having this conversation with someone the other day nobody eats a block of chocolate because they’re starving this is what I struggled with she made a comment saying she wasn’t enjoying the food that’s when she she was addicted however me on the other hand I’ve been Jeep because I love the food. Definitely don’t eat because I’m hungry I eat because I enjoy the taste of food does this mean I’m not addicted? I’m actually more confused after watching this video.
@@Voidmaster560no no that’s just some peoples experience. I felt the same. I enjoy food that’s why I’m fat. I’m addicted. Just apply the bits that pertain to you. Everyone is different.
@@Voidmaster560ah, I just carried on watching and her next sentences are “it’s not like that for everyone” maybe you should watch it again
A friend of mine told me when I didn't want to buy a dress until I lost weight, " Well, then you're punishing yourself twice." I bought the dress. I'm going to get her book. Thank you.
I've gotten More from this little paragraph than I have this interview!!!
I have been able to lose significant amounts of weight three times in my life. All three times, I have only gotten my head into the space to succeed when I have gotten new clothes that allow me to feel good, spent money on grooming supplies, or in other ways have been kind to myself. I have given up wondering why this is so, but the concepts that Shahroo communicated ring true to me. Not having a “normal” metabolism, I do have to follow an eating plan in order to lose weight. But first, I have to get into a mindset where I am ready to do so. When I am not in that mindset, I cannot imagine myself getting there. When I am in it, I do not understand why it is always so hard to achieve. Being interested in plans for things I want to do is part of being successful. Wanting to do some things just for myself, that no one else will value, seems a part of the current version of the good mindset. I hope that I can hold on to this state this time. It may be my very last chance to do so.
I am being stupid. Why is it punishing?
@@victoriamarfina9819 because you punishing yourself buy not treating you with a dress and by thinking you don't deserve it
I have been waiting to get a beautiful dress which was gifted by my would be mother-in-law stitched till I lost weight. Now I will go get it stitched this weekend and show her the result. She would love that. Thanks for sharing!
This podcast is legendary:
I lost over 100 pounds by going to the gym everyday for 90 days to touch the wall in the Lockeroom. Some days I didn’t work out but most days since I was there I did.
Love this idea bro! Well done 👏
How long did it take you to lose 100 pounds?
Awesomeness!!
@@mikerichter1694 didn’t he just say 90 days. Although that’s seem incredibly rapid. 90lbs should be lost over a year or so. Maybe a bit quicker, 36 weeks. 1-2 lbs a week ideally. Although the first 20lbs you should be able to get off quicker. Focus on your diet, calorie counting is important, I recommend intermittent fasting, don’t have your first meal until like 2-4pm and don’t eat after 10pm. 16 hours no food, 8 hour eating window. I’ve found that’s the easiest way to stick to the calorie restriction necessary to lose weight. As I found my hunger didn’t really get ravenous until I had my first small snack / meal of the day. Then I was hungry again shortly after within 1-2 hours, so if you are already eating at 8am, it’s hard to stick to a calorie restriction of 300-600 calories below your maintenance calories. Also, working out helps, although diet is 80% of weight loss, working out will increase your confidence and adding muscle will help your burn more calories daily just from your metabolism, and looking in the mirror seeing some slightly toned muscles coming in is a huge confidence boost! Also, black coffee is your friend for avoiding eating while intermittent fasting until you have that first meal at 2-4pm.
@@omgurheadsgone ... Yes, time restricted eating worked for me. I lost 65 pounds in 9 months.
“This isn’t my fault but I’ve come to make it my responsibility” wow - powerful words that so resonated with me - thank you for this wonderful podcast
Yes! I paused and wrote that down!! That doesn't usually happen 😊
Me too! this was an epiphany for me.
@@lyndareilly1983 00
@@terrideniseAwa
Shahroo has got it spot on at 28:40, the battle hasn't been not knowing what to do to improve myself it's been not knowing WHY I refuse to do it.
Exactly.
Yes, that si the only way to improve.
ABSOLUTELY 💯
@@oopurpledove YES YES YES! 🎯
Yes, I have said this very thing to people over the past two years that I’ve been really struggling and it’s great to hear it here. Parts work seems to help some people with this, but not all of us, of course.
As a fellow Iranian, I am so proud of her. She is very articulate and her message is very refreshing. Simple yet powerful. Woman, Life, Freedom is my wish for all the women on this planet
Jin, jiyan, azadi🎉❤
Yes!! Back to you too for all the blessings to come to you and yours💜💜
Overweight says: trauma, shame, devaluation, unworthiness, abuse, loneliness, self destructive behaviour, cognitive dissonance, and a big etc....please stop judging overweight people, we never know what causes.... I lost weith since i started practicing self love, acceptance and detachment.... I am not hungry anymore. I wish healing and recovery to all overweight people out there.
Yes! Usually food was a substitute for some other need for me. You need to listen to what you actually need. Glad to hear you got out of that cycle.
@@BlackPenzo thanks, I am glad for you too, in my case I started to dealing with childhood issues, it seems I was keeping inside and carry them until I resolved them then weight started to melted, still I have some extra pounds but now I know I'll loose them with my diet: self love and caring. Finally I understand why diets with nutritionist never worked: overweight has to do with emotions not food.
Thank you ❤
I have a friend while we were in Nursing school, said her mother told her she would never succeed in the program. I was shocked that a mother would discourage their kid like that, I told her you prove her wrong, now she has succeeded with a higher degree than any of us. I am soo proud of her. We need to also not pay attention to other people’s voice not just ours.
You’re an amazing friend. I hope you know that. We need more people who uplift each other ❤
Very true - I once was told I would have the perfect body if I lost 10lbs. I never really paid much mind before that but to be delivered two polarities at the same time - I could have The PERFECT Body but I don’t because I have to lose 10lbs has driven me crazy for years … funny thing is the thought doesn’t change so when I would lose weight 10-20lbs the thought was still there I would have the perfect body if I lost 10lbs so it never ends
Sometimes u need an enemy to win. Good mother. Prob had enough of her shit.
Sometimes mothers are the worst enermies for women. Of course it depends on the person. But some mothers are jealous of their daughters's success.
My father told me he wouldn't pay for my college, as he was paying for my brother. So I bet him that if he paid for the preparatory course, I would pass the free uni. He told me "You won't pass, your brother didn't." I convinced him to pay for it anyway as he had nothing to lose. The day it was published in the paper that I passed and he gave me a hug - well, I was pissed. For the record, my brother was always a worse student than me. Everybody knew this, except my father, apparently.
I lost 80 pounds in weight. Took me a few years. Was depressed, went into a cycle of low self esteem, ate for comfort. Reached rock bottom when I was lonely. My family encouraged me. Now I have a girlfriend and a life. Binge dieting is a curse. Take a long term view. Healthy diet, gentle exercise.
🤍
So interesting, see I have been really depressed in my life and had some level of OCD and obsession with healthy eating but I'm naturally skinny and if anything my advice for myself and how I've overcome my depression is the complete opposite. I eat once a day but I eat like a elephant, 12 egg yolks scrambled with buttered toast, 2 tins of sardines with coleslaw with buttered toast, chilli con carne with a whole tin of kidney beans and minced beef, a whole head of broccoli, cheese, yoghurt, and all the beneficial supplements. I eat all of that in about 90 minutes and don't eat again until the next day. And when it comes to exercise, it's to extreme failure, when the muscles literally fail to work. And for work I'm lugging about 25-50kg bags all day long, but I can noticeably feel the difference. I can quite literally feel the clouds part and the sun start to shine through. The long term view works for some, but if it takes hold of your life such that you are not living, you're better off just living, because those view extra years will be in vain
@@zentzu4003 yolks without the whites makes zero sense, why do u remove the whites? Also fyi, though cooked yolks taste nice, lightly cooking them is best, and raw is ideal, bcuz yolks contain a one of kind compound in the food world, which is seriously antiinflammatory, but only when not heated ever.
People tend to get their results and then paint them with their preferred justification. Studies show that it won't last. More than 95% of weight loss programs fail in the long run. That tiny minority starve themselves and exercise like it was their job. Simply not sustainable for most people. Strong metabolic processes come into play to get you back at your higher weight. I've lost 180 pounds. Kept it off for almost 10 years, and then it started to get all back.
@@18_rabbit yolks are more protien calorie and nutrient dense, it's alot of food to eat in 90 minutes, I literally dont have the stomach to add the whites in too, also trying to keep the protien a bit lower it's currently at about almost 200g which is too much I would rather 150g, but bear in mind I do this diet because I can eat it in 90 minutes, and it is food I genuinely enjoy, like these are my favourite foods, I could take them raw it's a good thought, that way I could eat them even faster but scrambled egg is so good taste wise, it's my favourite food, but I eat this food, knowing I hit every micronutrients and it gives me the mindset to be able to push myself knowing that I'm going to be okay because I am giving myself everything it needs, and something else to add this food is not very messy, I mean the washing up after is very minimal and once I've eaten that's it, I don't need to worry about eating for the rest of the day, so I would say within 2 hours I have cooked eaten cleaned up and I now have 14 hours to work go gym do whatever
"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."
Love this episode and it reminded me of this quote. Almost every time I eat in a way that is out of alignment with my health and my goals there is some tension around who I should be, what I should have finished by the end of the day/week/year, what I should have said or done, etc. and I'm trying to medicate with food.
Love the quote, and true, 'shoulds' lead to tension and naturalness leads to relaxation. I think its a valuable marker then to check in on your body and see which is it in, then you can trace it back to what 'should' or any other state of mind is causing it.
❤❤❤❤ this
As a woman born in the 80s growing up in the 90s still here in 2023 I am crying hearing this brilliant conversation 😢❤ thank you.
Right Kat?! It really touched me everything she said. I had various eating disorders and exactly what she talks about is what changed my life. These are conversations that truly help so many.
When Sharoo said that about 90s women - me! - hit hard! Such a toxic time especially as heroine chic became a thing!!! WTF!
Me too.. 🤗💞
When I was a junior in high school (90s), it was about trying to starve so you might look like Angelina Jolie. Thankful I have better advice for my girls.
I agree!! 👌🏻
I don’t often comment on TH-cam videos but I really loved this podcast. Although such a simple idea, to be kind to yourself, it’s something I’ve found incredibly hard.
On Sunday I took a little bit of extra time for myself and I felt incredible. On Monday I had some stressful news and strangely my inner voice was saying, ‘You’re fat, lazy, too stupid to deal with this etc etc.’ by the afternoon I caught what I was doing and realised I had gone the whole morning without drinking water and I’d skipped my workout. All I wanted to do was binge eat. Then I remembered the message behind this podcast and started to be kind to myself.
Sorry for the long message I just wanted to share what a difference this idea had on a day that was starting to downward spiral. Thank you!
That is a great example! Good job too! You took a moment to 'check in' with yourself as she says, and you decided to be kind to yourself. The thoughts are so automatic and even sometimes unconscious, it takes practice to spot them when they start.
FANTASTIC!! Thank you for sharing this ‘real life example’ of this amazing woman’s empowering message.
I reckon, you’ve got this 👌💕
So true. I'm caught up in this now and have been all my life.
❤ I love this! Sometimes we need the “longer” messages because it’s usually somewhere in those that we can see ourselves. The relatability of the story makes the journey less lonesome. Thank you for sharing!
@@TriAngleMassage Well said! 👏🏻
Shahroo is one of the kindest, most beautiful souls. I hope her message reaches everyone that needs it. Lucky enough to have worked with her one on one and i have never come across anybody who is as kind, funny and encouraging as she is. She wants you to win. She is also incredibly honest and straight forward. She doesn’t piss about saying it like it isn’t. Most importantly.. she gets it. She understands the struggle because she has been there. I cannot think of anyone more deserving to be on the podcast. 😊
Her??
@@tonymontana6550 Yes?
Has anyone found any photos of her before. Did she say she weighed nearly 277 pounds? 126 kilos? I've scoured the net, Ive not found anything but the close up face photo/
@@rtrouthouse1506 dude drop it
@rtrouthouse you are cracking me up. I got married at my heaviest. The only pic that exists is a CLOSE UP. Funny how we manage that?
This podcast was one of those profound moments of “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” for me. Lifetime of rote trying and failing, with weight, I had just recently come to the same conclusion that kindness has got to be first, and the (eating/food) desires will align themselves naturally for us as we go, and work out for us better and better as our nervous systems calm down and we really do begin to believe we are safe and content. I think the rote way I was raised and schooled when I was younger (no offense to my parents who were loving but did not know) contributed to the wrong type of perfectionistic mindset that never allowed that sacral part of me to expand and think for itself. Now the future is looking much brighter! I am excited to see where we go from here, personally, societally, and worldwide.
"This isn't my fault, but I've decided to make it my responsibility"
That's so powerful. So encouraging!
This is the first time i’ve heard someone describe putting enjoyment and self care on hold until you’re x amount of weight. So unbelievably true. What a profound episode❤️
That was me. I didn't deserve anything until I was perfect. Especially enjoyment and self-care.
@@alexiswinter6948 same.
This is what Lizzo is saying as well. People misunderstand body positivity as everything goes. What Lizzo has said numerous times is "l deserve to love and be loved and to live my life, regardless of size. I don't need to shrink to go on a stage"
Absolutely! I was like WOW! This is me 😭
@alexiswinter6948 same. My mum started fat shaming me when I was 14, I was skinny but I believed her and I developed an ED
The timing of this video is bizarre. Yesterday, honestly it was yesterday, I was discussing struggles with motivation and self esteem with a very close friend, when I said maybe a good move would be to compile an "achievement diary" and a "take your own advice" notebook. Every morning, open a page to remind myself of something I've achieved that I'm proud of, and talk to myself like I talk to others when they come to me for support.
Thank you for another awesome episode ☺️
I’m deffo going to do this!
@@lonelyinvestment 🥳
I love this so much. My life changed the most when I realized how awful I actually treat myself, mostly through self-talk. No exaggeration, it would be considered mental & emotional abuse if I spoke to others that way or had the same expectations for others that I had for myself. The real shock was all that while thinking I was a total slacker who had to be forced to get anything done- it was actually well disguised perfectionism. I saw a quote that said perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.
Can we just take a second to give Steven credit. He took our concerns about his nutrition science related guests and used that feedback to bring THIS EPISODE 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 now that’s commendable!
So true and helps us all understand and appreciate that we are all human and must indeed, be kinder and as nice to ourselves as we need be to others..... ♥
So true! This interview RESONATES with me!
What were the concerns out of curiosity? I listened to one episode and found it difficult (as a nutritionist myself) that he didn't push back on some of the information.
I totally agree! Great interview with an inspirational, very unique guest!
@@sophiapower927 Has anyone found any photos of her before. Did she say she weighed nearly 277 pounds? 126 kilos? I've scoured the net, Ive not found anything but the close up face photo/
I am an extremely underweight person that should not lose a pound of weight, but I learned from this podcast, and messaged my therapist. Thank you. I should be kinder to myself, and not punish myself for being the perfect version I envision for myself. I will keep moving towards it, but encourage myself instead of talking down to myself.
So sorry you struggle in the opposite! Praying that we all simply GET HEALTHY in whatever way that looks like!
Sending you love and hugs.. please be kind to yourself ❤
Why are you extremely underweight?
💖
@@mariaelenabartesaghi6322 Why do you need to know this?
I will be listening to this one again and again. Childhood home was abusive and my mom and I both turned to food for comfort. I've been up and down in weight my entire life. I know how to lose weight. Its only been since the pandemic that I really sat with the "why" of my poor choices. I've slowly come to the realization that I believe I need to punish myself by not taking care of myself. What a process! I'll be getting Shahroo's books. Thank you Steven for all of your fascinating discussions.
This is really interesting. Having had a narcissist father who was aggressive I used my weight to keep myself just unattractive enough to not attract attention. I lost weight unintentionally when I met a man who was kind and didn’t criticise me. It was like my subconscious decided men were no longer a threat and I didn’t need the weight to keep them away.
@@jemmajames6719 Hugs to you Jemma!
@@jemmajames6719 I hear you ❤️
I never really made the connection between abusive home and weight issues as an adult. That's a great point and definitely something to think about.
@@jemmajames6719what would you tell your best friend? Do that. Don't expect it to be easy or quick but I bet your future self will thank you.
I have watched many of your podcasts. I am a 71 year old Grandma, and I have always been a student of life. I think you are wonderful. This lady you have just interviewed seems very wise to me! Through experience of living her ideas have born the most fruit for me. Also I could grow stronger in some of the attitudes she expressed. Bless you 😊 Nana
This is one of the best podcast episodes and one of the most inspiring guests I have ever listened to. There were so many moments I just wanted to pause to thank her for her authenticity, compassion, vulnerability and integrity. What an amazing woman. Thank you for setting the environment and giving space for her to express herself fully and for honouring that as well.
I totally agree with you. What an amazing woman. What a story!
So agree, it was light and simple and I felt like a peer rather than head so far back because they are way way up there and I’m down here and need to find a way to ‘improve myself’ yet through this particular experience I felt I was sitting next to this very talented woman and involved in the conversation, thank you x
Cringe
Totally agree
What did she say specifically that you enjoyed? The part about not dieting has been known for years. She really only said, "Take responsibilkty". I think I must have watched a different podcast than you did.
I really liked this episode, taking care of myself by allowing myself to wear colorful clothes and to buy new clothes that actually fit instead of buying clothes that ill fit into in the 'future' allowed me to lose 11kgs so far,as well as developing a skincare,gentle exercise routine and actually taking care of my appearance
Yes. I don’t even have pictures with my children because I don’t feel good enough to be in pictures. I don’t feel good enough to dress up in a dress. So my first child has pictures with me when she was young all decked out with my hair makeup dressed up etc. because I was thin when I had her and then after my other 2 children have none of those same experiences and memories with me. It’s sad.
❤
I did exactly the same thing. One of my few regrets in this life.
In this day and age you can be photo shopped into pictures.. lol Im just jking .
I know what you mean about not being in any photos, to this day im still like that and the question is why?
Time is short. Start living.
I just now decided to not do that anymore. Or rather give myself permission to be in an occasional photo. Only because I wanted these photos with my son at this age.
Can't believe this is true. I lost 160 lb by just loving myself. I didn't even change my eating habits. I just looked at myself in the mirror and I said to myself everyday, "I love you, You're beautiful and you deserve to be skinny!". It really works everybody!!
I’m just at the beginning of that journey. For me my bad behaviors are responses to something traumatic that happened in my childhood that I never healed from. The trauma was at the hands of family members so I’d eat at family functions because of the stress of forced interaction. By eating I didn’t have to interact as much. There is a lot of shame I’ve had as a result as saying something would rock the boat cause a scene and increase trauma exponentially. Realizing now that eating habit was a result of trauma and having a conversation with my mom about all of it openly removed all the shame. I’m not eating my feelings now
I'm crying because she is giving me a new approach to my eating. It feels so liberating juste to hear this podcast. Thank you so much.🙏
She is speaking what I am going through. Mental issues, eating disorders anorexia. I can even begin to imagine. I am stil struggling with my weight but I am better than where I am coming. My therapist told me to be kind to myself but I didn’t understand until I listened to this podcast. I am hoping I can recover fully
Love the wellness angle of the podcasts this year. It's been a massive help.
Thanks for listening Michael 🙏🏽
The title is so unjust, I saw this episode over and over and never clicked on it because of the title.
I'm glad I watched it now, thank you
Yet again another interview with a game changer. My favourite podcast used to be Tim Ferriss but now it’s this one. Not only will interviews like this change lives, they will save lives. This channel is something so special. Thank you. X
♥
Thank you for this. You are amazing to have a female voice like this on your show. She’s the voice we need to hear. Especially us 80’s babies/ 90’s kids. I know many people my age whos mothers were very harsh about weight and appearance and it effected us deeply. You are both amazing! ❤
..."when you listen to your self-talk and realise they are not your words..." This lady is great.😀
I really like her. Excellent person! Love her strength, honesty, her self reflection and transparency, her articulation, and how much she gives in caring for other people. This is a beautiful introduction to her thoughts and beliefs.
I've never heard of Shahroo before, but she really is amazing and eloquent. I know so many people who will benefit from hearing this interview.
Wonderful content! My life changed this last year . I’m a 38 y/o woman who has struggled with alcohol and addiction since high school. A year and a half ago I lost my mom and step dad to alcohol related issues. I was already a few years into a depression where I had gained about60 pounds. I worked at my problems constantly and got what felt like nowhere ( I see now I was gathering info with an inability to implement) until early last year. With therapy, tons of self help workbooks , a daily meditation practice and the right medication my whole life has changed. I started being loving to myself and gave myself more space and my actions changed. It started with a bath every evening and then meditation first thing in bed started. Learning where my emotional intelligence could use some work has had me working on my willpower and esteem. Walking in nature as often as possible. Speaking differently to myself. After making different decisions for the last year I finally trust myself, and as much as I know things are cyclical, I’m basking in this moment because it’s been a long long time. Really I don’t know if I ever have . It’s funny you mention the chocolate because I brought some into my house to practice, lol. I’ve lost all the weight ( too quickly at the beginning of last year) but at this point I’m happy with my habits on average. I definitely still have a tendency to want to overindulge but It’s become much less of an issue as my self love has grown. I related to so much of what was said . Thank you for sharing so openly.
I wish I could just hug her!!!!!!
Being a 66 year old female that recognizes so many ways I did not empower my daughters causes me to really appreciate her passion for being determined that this foolishness stops with her generation. I send her the biggest "Get it done!" that I am capable of doing
Thank you so much for sharing your platform with her. You are such an incredible person.
I feel so sad. My eldest daughter struggles with her weight. I tried with what I knew back then. I have done all the WRONG things to help her. I am so sorry.😔
My mom was the same, and it would mean the world to me if she acknowledged the messages she sent me. You can still say to them now what you wish you knew then. If that would feel good for you and them.
@@davisholman8149you need to have that conversation with her, if you haven’t.
Wow! I just love her! “Kindness gets shit done!” She seems to have clarity that others don't. I'll be getting her books.
Shahroo is such a powerful yet eloquent speaker! Life changing stuff! I'm going to re listen to it over and over. I am never kind to myself, as I approach 50 I do not recall ever being genuinely kind to myself. Trauma has defined my life, overeating is my coping strategy. I'm so grateful for this podcast. My instinct is screaming at me to embrace what I've just heard. My whole adult life I've never worn a dress because I'm too big. What i would do to sit in a room with Shahroo and work it all out. In the absence of that my next task is to buy and read her books 👍😊
Go buy yourself a dress darling you deserve it x
I needed this so much, thank you. Watched twice and made 7 pages of notes, sobbing in the meantime.
Thank for your work, and for the courage to ask simple, yet powerful and opening questions like "why", "how did you feel like", etc. while so many other TH-camrs tend to guess or "know better" what their guest is trying to say. Thanks a million ❤
This is such a wonderful topic and amazing information. Im 52. Ive punished myself since I was put on the scales at ballet class, aged 11 and told I wouldnt go to the comps if I didnt lose 3kg. 😤 I cant help the booty and thighs I was born with and growing up in the 80s full of supermodels and skinny girls..... even my mother poked fun at me. I am still suffering in the same patterns explained here. Its so debilitating....everything here hit home. I have been homding myself back from living with my child and even in my career. Bless you for this platform and bringing this to us. X
Sorry…Hope you find some peace…You deserve peace and healing and compassion❤
I have so much respect for this remarkable woman. Not only is she clearly very wise and perceptive, but also so compassionate, graceful and so respectful of other people's experiences. I can't wait to read everything you've written, Shahroo! Thank you
This amazing lady made me cry…
So much clarity, kindness and wisdom she has! Thank so much Steven that you braught her to us.
The thing about the child and the 11 am snack was a mind blowing moment for me. I screen recorded it so I can replay it every time I want to binge on bad food. Thank you for this great interview ✨
@@Balletified She was talking about people asking how they can be simultaneously firm and kind with themselves because they feel like kindness can bring them to give in the bad habit/ addiction vs firmness might work for a lil while but has its limit and burn out too. Then she says the most important part is the conversation you have with yourself and to think of it like a parent discovering that a treat they always give their kid at 10 am is actually toxic so they have to stop giving it. How would you expect the kid to react and what would be your reaction? You'd expect him/her to kick out, rebel, cry, plead and you'd welcome it with compassion cause yes it would feel hard and unfair and surprising but also you would stay firm and hold on for the well-being of your kid :) And you would repeat this process with kindness, compassion and firmness together until it feels easier to the kid and like it's actually nothing to be without the treat. VS yelling at the kid to hold it together or being overwhelm by their reaction and giving them a toxic treat again!
@@Balletified it's at 33:04!
First time i hear a podcast when someone doesn't constantly interrupt the host ! She talks slowly and doesn't get interrupted omg😅😅😅😂❤
I’m not by myself …👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻💪🏻I’m with myself. I love that line!
Personally, for me this was the best podcast I have listened to, tremendous amount of incredible good information and knowledge that this woman has. Not only that, but the fact that so many of us can relate to the issues that she is addressing it just shows that there is hope out there and it is possible. Wow, it was a valuable talk, I am looking forward to perhaps discover a more in depth perspective in her book
Love when she said..."not by myself - with myself" I am really trying to remember this and to be genuinely kind to myself....my built in friend.
This moved me to tears because it spoke to my very being. If I put as much effort into actually being better as I do hiding not being good enough I would be amazing. But WHY am I not? Off to buy her book. Thankyou for this podcast
Love and compassion are the most underrated remedies and I love that Shahroo discusses it.
YES >>> "You remind them of their capacity to do something difficult, you remind them of the times they've done difficult things in the past, and you support them... plus you give them perspective. ..." and "Kindness gets $hit done." S. Izadi
I love it when she mentions bringing a binge back and having integrity to get back on track. I appreciate your talk. Your talk is so helpful 😇
Breathtakingly brilliant! You can have her on every week as far as I'm concerned. Never heard anyone talk more sense about the "dark places" many of us inhabit.
Wow! What an amazing woman! I hung on her lips, paused the video several times, wrote down her words, and absolutely loved it!
Thank you for introducing Shahroo Izadi to us❤
This was a very powerful episode for me. Thank you so much for making this possible, Steve. The thing I love most about your podcasts is the powerful vulnerability that you and your guests share. The honesty of Shahroo Izadi talking about her lack of kindness to herself, and the way eating after gastric banding was just another form of punishment for her creates a space for me to look at all the ways that I have failed at self-kindness. Thank you both.
Did not expect my life to change when I clicked on this video. Thank you,both of you
Her inner dialogue was so similar to what's going inside of me, so glad I stumbled upon this video. Finally someone talking about deeper understanding of behavioural change. Loving it ❤❤
"The ability to bring it back....is a power and a trust in myself..and a sense of integrity when no oneʻs watching. That seeps into every area of my life." Thank you for these words. That is the vision I want for myself. More than the end result as a number, I want to trust myself and have the integrity to behave in a way that leads to more self-respect, not more self-loathing.
THIS interview did more for me emotionally in one hour than I’ve ever accomplished. Mood boosted and motivation found. THANK YOU ❤
This is a profound video. After watching literally hundreds and hundreds of TH-cam videos on all areas of personal transformation, this one stands at the very top.
That was a most refreshing change from the type of discussions we usually get to hear. So many subtle but powerful ideas. I wish I'd taken notes, but it will be a pleasure to listen again so win-win.
This is one of my favourite podcasts you have ever done. It felt incredibly refreshing to hear a guest be so incredibly authentic on such a difficult topic. I admire her mission and I hope she is successful!!! ❤
For me on a personal level this is the best episode yet. Watched this a day ago, demolished Shahroo's book in a matter of hours. The absolute right person at the right time for me. Well done, Ste! Brilliant episode. Brilliant guest. Brilliant show!
Thank you so much for this Shahroo, what you have said really resonates, food is my drug. I have been dieting since I was 13, non-stop diets for the past 40 years. I have "fat girl clothes and thin girl clothes". I just can't sustain thinness and my life revolves around when I am thin again: I will feel great, I will be more motivated, I will exercise more and so on. I will embarrassed and ashamed when I meet with friends and family, this is even when I really was not that over weight. I feel like something in me is broken as I am a strong independent person but food is my kryptonite. As a whole I practice compassion but have neglected myself. I have ordered "The Kindness Method’ and ‘The Last Diet’ as I am exhausted in fighting the battle of the bulge. Thank you Steven for this podcast it could not come at a better time 🙏.
@angelwilliams3088 your message resonated so deeply with me. Especially the avoidance of family and friends because of how embarrassed I am about how I look and how fat I got.
I hope you are feeling better. ❤❤❤
What an eye-opening talk you had with Shahroo Izadi today. Omg, everything she said makes so much sense. I also hope the 'diet' nonsense we grew up with definitely dies with our generation. I know that I would have had a better relationship with food and myself without hearing my worth was dependent on my size. Thank you so much to both of you.
Every diet book and guru always say “know your why”, with the idea being if you know why you want to be different, it will keep you motivated towards your goal. This conversation made it clear to me that I have been looking at the wrong “why?”. Instead of the why I want to change, which proves to be a weak motivator in the difficult moments, I should be asking myself why I am doing what I KNOW does not work and is not good for me and why I am motivated to go off a track that feels so much better. It makes no sense, looking from the outside, why people do over and over again what has ALWAYS made them feel disappointed in themselves before. I look forward to reading both books and appreciate the piece I have been avoiding for so long.
Shahroo has quite literally changed my life, she’s such an inspiration and I’m so happy she’s getting the recognition she deserves ❤️
And she is allowing herself to feel whole and free!!!! So happy for her!!!
I am blown away! I have no words but just to say thank you. Thank you for voicing thoughts I have had from the age of 13, thoughts about myself that I was too ashamed to say aloud. I've said some pretty horrible things to myself and I will come back to this podcast and listen again and again. "Kindness gets shit done!"
What a wonderful and beautiful woman!!! One personal observation is that people who accomplish something in life had to overcome some issues early on in their lives. Many people crumble under the pressure of their problems, but some come up on top and stronger and wiser.
This entire podcast really hits home especially the example with the banana and canister of cream. I did keto 4 years ago and it has totally ruined my relationship with food plus I’ve put most of the weight back on. I was stuck in a loop of diet and extreme restriction to bingeing. The operative word being was, after watching this I have hope and a spark of trust in myself when it comes to food. I thought I was alone in this but it’s comforting to know I am not. I am powerful and intelligent. It’s changing your mindset and habits enough to set you up for success. ❤
so refreshing to hear Shahroo Izadi talk. Extremely well explained 💕. Gives me a renewed hope on my road to recovery from a binge eating disorder. Thank you Shahroo 💐
This is incredibly empowering! Absolutely amazing teaching, not just for weight loss, but for any aspect of life. The bit about the kid that expects a treat, how you wouldn't expect them to find it easy, just for this it was worth listening.
Thank you so much for this , this podcast came at a time when I am really struggling with focus, I have ADHD and struggle to focus on not only things that I need to do but things that I love to do. Although this is about food and diet, its something that can change behaviour in other aspects of yours. The one thing that stuck is the idea of looking at behaviour and understanding what a behaviour is serving. The next is , not putting my life on hold until I change , but to enjoy life now and also to enjoy the process of getting to the goal
Thank you so much for this episode - as someone who has been struggling and still struggles with binge eating and alcohol for 18 years(and have had gastroduodenitis for the past 3 years) I can finally see some light. The exercise with imagining a person you love and telling them everything you would and then replacing their name with yours is pure gold, I can't believe how much it resonated. Thank you!!!
Shahroo talks about body image growing up in the 1990s was difficult. I grew up in the 1960s. My mother and aunts were so fat-phobic. My sister still has a border anorectic problem, she counts carbs, calories, fat grams you name it. She is under 100 lb. 5"4'. Our mother is so happy and proud of her. I on the other hand have had a weight problem my whole life. I was told I had no willpower and would lose weight if I just stayed on a diet. I am now 68. Mother is 86 and the conversation starts with how much I weigh.
Shahroo, when and how does it stop?
Omg it's none of her business what you weigh. I'm pissed for you since u don't want to stick up for yourself . That's your body, not hers. That's a big boundary red flag. 😳 you need to stick up for yourself asap.
Sweetheart THANKYOU Xx exactly the same for me too. I ran away to London and on seeing my mother once again after 6 months away the very first thing out of her mouth was "how is your weight??" Toxic, toxic stupid cow! I am 62 now, she 86.......she is shrivelled thru dieting, a wrinkled mess and yet I STILL think she feels superior. I feel no love for her only pity............I remember once, my husband had been terribly ill and I was breastfeeding longterm simply because we could not AFFORD SMA for our son. I became very slim, for the first time in my life, but I was ill, malnourished and living on tinned peas. My mother "tipped up" to gloat in my despair and said alarmed "Oh my God, you're slimmer than me!!!!"...........The problem is theirs Judith, we in turn will hopefully be much better mothers Xx
@@gigid9606 I know from the outside looking in it is very easy to say your above suggestion. However, I would be disrespectful in my parent's house because this would come from love. When neighbor kids and school bullies are belligerent, what do you expect when you are fat. This stuff really sinks in as you grow up. Are all my female relatives thin? With the exception of my sister, the answer is no.
I coped by not talking to my mother or my sister very often and I moved 3000 miles away.
You do not deserve to be treated like that. Commenting on other people’s weight does *not* come from a place of love, but ignorance. It might be their house, but it is *your* body temple.
@@judithcoloma613 Yay ! You go girl! I admire you, 3000 miles should do it. They do not deserve you in their lives, let them tear oneanother apart in your absence Xx
This woman is amazing. She just explained everything I have felt for many years about food. Thank you so much for creating this episode. It has helped me so much. ❤🙂
Absolutely amazing. I was born in 81 and have struggled all my life with body image and dieting, and recently at an all time, dark low. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder last year, and heavier than ever, and am so depressed. Everything she said resonated with me. Everything. All my life I've been waiting until the "moment I'll be thin and deserve it" and my entire live has been on pause since then. And that's a lot of life to give up. 😓
I'm so happy to have discovered you today. It feels God sent. And I can't wait to hear more and learn what I can- I need to change my mind.
So happy for her as well, that she was able to transform her mind and how she feels about herself. I aspire to be this.
Thank you for this tremendous conversation.
I can't wait to discover more about you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤
You are right, that.s a lot of life to put a hold on. Let.s start, today?
I’ve listened to a lot of these videos, this one truly had me bawling and I had no idea why. I’ve listened to others speak of battling addictions, suicidal thoughts and dealing with bereavement all with a compassionate ear. But this podcast bought me to tears and it’s simply because I really resonate with the self-criticism, knowing what to do in order to better myself but not doing it, going through that cycle of determination, inaction and then guilt. Thank you for this podcast. I’m off to purchase her books and hopefully gain awareness as to why I don’t treat myself with love when that’s all I ever give to others.
Her book is amazing, another one which helped me with intrusive thoughts was wisdom of anxiety by sheryl paul, she also has an instagram which is really helpful!
I bought her book a few years ago, it’s definitely worth a read!
@@sarahRA86 thank you I appreciate it xx
@@Swann88 thank you. I will check that out. I appreciate it 😊
Crying because.....deep down we know this is all true. Time to parent myself as an adult.😊
This is just what I needed. I'm on a weight loss journey as a woman who has never been thin. It's been so hard, due to food habits where I crave and binge on the wrong food even though I exercise consistently for 6 months.
Trust me, it doesn’t matter what kind of food you binge on. You can binge on healthy foods too, and still get fat (like me), if you eat 3-4 times your daily calories allowance (like me).
On the other hand, skinny people often eat utter rubbish and they never get fat, like my sister-in-law, who can eat mainly carbs in their unhealthiest form, eat at night, not exercise, not walk or even move too often, and still remain 46kg 😡🫤.
I think it’s a helpful episode too. I’m sure you can get there. You can try some of the techniques she talks about. Treating yourself like a friend. Asking what the binging might be doing for you (what problem is it solving). I used to binge eat and be 90lbs overweight. It can take a long time to understand the root cause of why we do things. Realising finally that I’m using food to help myself zone out when feeling stressed or overwhelmed was a game changer. It’s never easy. But over time, step by step, you can get to where you want to be. 💪
@@alamedadanceparty thank you for this beautiful and encouraging reply. I appreciate it a lot.
Yes I can tell you now, I am already using her techniques. I have just come back from a 2 nights hospital stay due to my 10 month old daughter being admitted there. I knew that the danger would be that I would use chips and sweet to self soothe me through that but I just refused to turn to junk food for that and I have succeeded.
My favorite take out from this lady is that we must do the hard/challenging thing a couple of times in a row until it becomes easier. For me the tough thing is how I used to have no impulse control when it comes to managing cravings. So at the hospital I just sat with my feelings until I didn't use junk food to cope with them.
@@alamedadanceparty I have an obese friend, she gets extremely angry and sulky if you even touch this subject. I’m obese too, not morbidly though, and have a lot of optimistic encouragement in the gym - “you can do it” etc. But I loved food since my early childhood, now I’m more conscious of “healthy food” so I’m addicted to healthy food and overeat. The only hope left is bariatric surgery or drugs.
@@khanyisagura4377 yes, it's really difficult to sit with negative emotions when we are used to using food to self soothe. I can 100% relate. You should be proud that you were able to sit with the negative stuff and not try to "zone out" using food. It's only a temporary relief from the stress. I agree, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. This episode is surely one to rewatch because of so many nuggets of wisdom inside. I wish you good health and self love.
I am 62 and 180 lbs. I just started walking 10,000 steps per day (which takes 100 minutes) and I am doing low carb (not no carb), drinking more water and writing down everything I eat. I used to weight 130 lbs in the Army and I felt my best. I think I can do it again. I am on day 3 and am losing 1lb per day so far. I will let you know.
I lost 10 kg on a modified Keto diet. I do not have loads of fat and I am vegetarian. I get my protein from eggs, dairy and legumes. Think of food as nutrition. I prepare my own meals and have had exactly the same food for breakfast lunch and dinner for over 7 years. I have managed to keep off the weight. After a fortnight's holiday, where I had no choice of food, my HbA1c was at 6.5 . That was my wake up call. I went on an extremely low Carb diet. Now my HbA1c is 5.7, I am terrified of becoming diabetic.
I would like to add that I am 76 and have had osteoarthritis of the knees for 16 years and hypothyroid for 25 years.
100% got chapter 18 out of the army and the shame had me gaining even more weight. I stress are my way out, so her comment about putting space between the trigger and the reaction REALLY hit. I was 130 when I first went in, before binge eating took over. Time to put that space in and stop guilting myself now.
How is it going ?
@@anastasiyat5913 Haven't missed a day since I started Mar 26. Today is Apr 30 and I am walking 20 k steps now, on my treadmill, which takes me 3 hrs and 20 min at 3.5 mph.
Oh my goodness, Shahroo is so relateable - everything she is saying, I'm thinking "oh yes, I'm like that".
- I've realized I'm one of those that has been putting things on hold for a while..what Sharoo is saying makes so much sense 💓
OMG, I love her! What an intelligent woman! I cant wait to read her books. I have been struggling with weight loss almost my whole life. I have been on a roller coaster of diet and exercise programs only to gain the majority of it all back. I have known for years that I need to change my relationship with food but have been struggling to do it. So recently I have been working on changing my relationship with myself, learning to love myself and trust my instincts. I do need to loose weight because I am having health problems. The doctors keep telling me I need to loose weight but they never give any constructive advice on how to do it. Our medical system is so broken here in USA
Steven, I so look forward to your podcasts… you are doing such great work and service to us all. I truly appreciate your effort, enthusiasm and willingness to share your experiences in these conversations.
People you have never met are better for this exchange. I am one. Thank you. 🙏❤️
This has been the most helpful thing Ive heard in all my life in my struggle with weight after 60 years of dieting and 24/7 negative self talk. You are a blessing. Thank you.
Sleeping in her gym kit! How creative and productive. Love this guest, and this show. "Kindness gets shit done." Now that, is brilliant!
This was a delight, and I don't often watch these until the end. All my experience as a human, a therapist, and an observer of how we humans are doing tell me that this is good stuff. "Kindness gets shit done." In a culture that very much points us away from natural, organic being, it is increasingly important that this important message gets addressed from many different angles. Our bodies need our attention, and our nervous system needs regulation. I know she didn't specifically talk about it, but it was incorporated in what she talked about. Loved it!
Shahroo - you are talking about me, where I am now. Anxiety and depression is so hard to fight with. I absolutely salute you! I am hoping I have enough power to get to good place and love myself like you do!
I'm so happy I found this video! I love this approach. It put into words some things I felt but couldn't explain. It also taught me some new things I didn't know.
I am wrestling with binge eating issues, which I have had most of my life. Shahroo described the situation exactly. I'm not caring for myself. I'm punishing myself for not being perfect and putting my dream life on hold until I'm "worthy" of them. I'm definitely going to get copies of her books!
This is a podcast I really needed to hear. Thank you for having such inspiring guests who show us that life is so challenging for us all and this 'Instagram' life isn't real at all. So refreshing hearing these experts. This podcast has given me the motivation to want to make change in my life. Just listening to this has really made something click within me. Thank you!
Definitely appreciate witnessing this no bs approach thats still centered on kindness/compassion/no judgement. Wow!
she is soo articulate i absolutely loved the conversation! Got to be one of the best guests for me Steven!
This woman is REMARKABLE!! ❤ And he did a great job interviewing her.
This has hit very close to home. When you're successful and admired in every other domain of life but can't control your eating ... I also got to 126kg and had gastric band surgery (although not in secret). I am a carbohydrate addict and manage my life accordingly. I'm 48kg lighter and have maintained that for 6 years and finally like the person I am
So very happy you have found a way to cherish yourself!!!
"I realised I wasn’t by myself anymore but I was with myself". This part really spoke to me ❤
What an amazing woman! Love her honesty and wisdom. Thank you both 🙏 I'm a mature psych student and found this absolutely fascinating. It makes me so sad to think so many people struggle like this and its not spoken about. Whilst I'm lucky to have always had a healthy relationship with food, I can relate so much of this to my struggles with self compassion and worth and in changing my self sabotaging behaviours around this ❤️