Lose Weight AND Keep It Off: Emotional Eating | Renée Jones | TEDxWilmingtonLive
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มิ.ย. 2018
- Most diets, detoxes, or pills promise overnight and effortless weight loss, but it never lasts, and 'yo-yo dieting' leads to greater and more demoralizing weight gain. We typically follow the diet until something drives us to the refrigerator for comfort or stress relief. Renée Jones shows you how to get free from the emotional eating that sabotages every diet.
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After 40 years on a diet, yo-yoing up and down the scale, Renée Jones had learned every diet - and every cheat - before finally stopping the comfort eating and self-sabotage to lose “those last 30 pounds” AGAIN in 2012 - but this time she maintained her goal weight. Who knew that was truly possible?
With a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and a Clinical Residency in Pastoral Care, she has an international counseling and coaching practice utilizing traditional and contemporary models as well as relaxation and horse-assisted methods to help others win at losing extra weight and other baggage they’ve dragged with them for decades.
Her first book was "What’s Really Eating You: Overcome the Triggers of Comfort Eating." This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I don't have a comfort food, all food becomes comfort food if I'm having a binging session, at some point even stuff I don't really like, I just have to continue eating.
Yes, that would be true. Have you sought help for this? There are some really effective methods for overcoming binge eating. It begins with your desire, a really strong "why," and consistent choices about your environment, behaviour, and emotional well-being. Be of good courage--it can be overcome.
@@ReneeJonesPackYourOwnBag Thank you for your reply and encouragement! I haven't sought any help, I'm only now realizing after 15 years of doing this that I have been binge eating. So now I'm just passionately seeking all the information I can find on it, trying to avoid traps like diets and fasts as I have always done. It's so hard to admit it to yourself, not to mention to those close to you...
@@elenasreadingcorner Do you have a WHY? I used to have a why, but don't really have one now. BIG difference!
I feel you💔
@@lucybellescott7531 A why TRULY helps us stay focused.
"only eat when you're hungry"
I'm sorry ma'am, but my mind's so damaged I don't even know when I'm hungry or full anymore
Hi Daniella, mine didn't either -- I wasn't too pleased with that advice either. That's why I went on to look for more.
I ve been in eating disorder treatment, and learning hunger/fullness cues is part of it, because its normal for those cues to be gone if you`ve struggled with food a long time. There is ways to get that back, and you can get help from a dietician or ed specialist. Usually it means eating mechanically after a meal plan to teach the body and brain when its supposed to be hungry/full. After a while you learn to listen to your bodys needs.
@@lunagirl1886 Thank you for this -- so good to share what you've learned to help others! :)
so am I ((
@@mariamadiallo7294 I believe you can still heal. It won't be effortless, but the benefit from making the effort will be amazing. Sometimes little steps forward create a big leap.
“Face your stuff, don’t stuff your face.” 😅
This mantra just went on the front of my refrigerator!
Hope it’s truly helpful!
@@ReneeJonesPackYourOwnBag : I'm leading my support group in two weeks. I'm taking "Face your stuff, don't stuff your face" as part of my talk. I've lost 11 pounds in the last month. Thx again.
FANTASTIC!!! Congratulations. If I can be of further help, don’t hesitate to contact me. All the best!
Cute saying, but easier to say it than do it. Frustrating, ☹️
It is the fact that she talks about this through her own experiences that gives her talk a sincerity that really works for me.
Thank you, Felicity.
I have watched this video for 6 months now and I very day I watch it I started at 5’11 190 and now I am about 6 and 150 I can’t thank you enough you have changed my life
I must press the like button it was at 666 now its at 667
So true
agree
My problem is it makes me feel full and that fills the empty feeling inside.
interesting,,,,, i think i feel same.... dopamine, excitedness, tastiness, are major contributors
I’m 72 and have yo-yo dieted all my life, I come from an extremely dysfunctional and violent background including different abuses from both parents. Can’t believe that Leonie’s comment has answered WHY it is that I want and need to feel full whenever I eat, which has been my constant undoing regarding losing the surplus weight. I am SO greatful to these individuals who are prepared to share their personal journeys for our benefit!
Jeanette Ware Have you conquered this yet?
I know this feeling of lack.
Drink water
I don’t want to wait till I’m 50 to make a change. I am 26, and I do this EXACT thing that she is explaining. Yo-yo dieting, emotional eating, binge eating, starving, all of that, I have been doing that for ten years so far. I don’t want to do it any longer.
I’ve tried every single “diet” out there. I’ve done everything.
I need to fix lots of things in my life that cause many emotions and I eat because of those emotions. I starve because of those emotions. I do everything unhealthy to deal with those emotions. I need to change.
Recognizing that you need to change something is the first step. Then start making good-for-you choices while you figure out what is driving you to food and deal with it. You can do this!
@@ReneeJonesPackYourOwnBag love that
Because I can you bet!!!!!
I connect with this, I’m tired of the same trap...
Same. Ive been battleing for more than 10 years. I wanna be new and past the trama I went through so I can be satified
I've lost over 60 pounds so far in my journey. I have seen endless amounts of TH-cam videos on what to do about this. You do not need to look any further than this video. Every last bit of what she says, every question she wants you to ask yourself, is so unbelievably important it is unfathomable to understand until you adopt them into personal experience. Whenever she talks about what works for me, what is sustainable, and what will work for a lifetime, if you frame your approach to weight loss in that exact manner, you WILL succeed. I have lived and breathed these things and was fortunate to find them on my own, and whenever she is preaching what ACTUALLY WORKS and the behind the scenes of how to defeat this seemingly unbeatable monster I got so energetic and filled with goosebumps. I promise if you are reading this comment, the way she describes how to make this work for life is 1 million percent the way to pull this off.
Oh, thank you! You are kind. Congrats on your success!
Loved her style of speaking and she really made me think... only eat when you're hungry. Wow.
Aleema Bacchus-Hosein but actually thats not always good because when you’re not hungry when you get out of bed or something you’ll miss breakfast our something you have to have a pattern
Sanne Sleegers Missing breakfast is not actually a bad thing, necessarily.
hah
But I’m always hungry 😭😭
@@sannesleegers2826 I find that when I am not hungry after getting up it is because I ate/overate late the night before. If you don't do that you will be hungry when you get up. The old adage that breakfast is the most important meal of the day is under careful scrutiny because it isn't necessarily true.
Sometimes I feel so lonely... I don't talk much with my parents, and don't have any friends. Then food is my only company. But I know I need to change. Mental health is crucial for sustainable weight loss.
Yes, it is. Food is so often a fair-weather friend-not reliable for your best.
Me too. I feel so similarly. I’m doing therapy now but I’m still struggling with my eating. I’m so sick of it and I’m trying to break the cycle
@@ReneeJonesPackYourOwnBag it's Renee herself!
@@RICKETYP Yup!
In case, like me, you’ve already been wasting your time seeking for a diet program that works, *2WeightLossFast. Com* . ” I have dropped 15 pounds in A single week. I would recommend this .program to any person who’s looking for a really efficient plan.?
1. Change Your Belief
2. What will work for you that is sustainable for lifestyle
3. Face your stuff dont stuff your face
What does this mantra "face your stuff, don't stuff your face" mean?
@@zk6610 I was eating a lot because I've been restricting for a long time. Now I don't restrict myself and eventually craving less 😂
@@zk6610 actually it's called 'paradoxical intention' you may google it and know more about this. It was developed by psychologist doctor Viktor Frankl. Basically in this you do more of what you're afraid of. So let's say you can't sleep at night. You do the opposite. Try keeping your eyes open and staying awake as long as possible. And guess what? You'll fall asleep.
"face your stuff, don't stuff your face" I LOVE IT! I found myself eating because I was anxious BECAUSE I kept putting stuff off. It would be looming above my head and creating anxiety which I would try to shut up by eating--- but then I would have DOUBLE the anxiety now as I feel guilty for binge eating... and the cycle continued. It was when I ALLOW myself to feel --- you FIRST encounter the emotion not the thought. If you listen to the emotion you'll understand the thoughts that triggered it. Ah pratice, practice, practice. I also realized my anxiety was because of my OVERTHINKING. When I stopped and practiced living in the moment, mediating even for 2 minutes and deep breathing, helped a lot.
You may not be overthinking, but just naturally processing deeply. If this might be you, check out Elaine Aron Highly Sensitive Person. Some of us are born with a specific extra sensitive gene, proven. Comes with a set of behaviours.
Thank you @milk bread. I honestly didn't get the quote at first (sorry) and now I knew it because of this.
The exercise at the end was very powerful. Personally, I binge on ramen late at night when everyone is asleep. I remember that because my parents would work so much I felt alone. I turned to those noodles for comfort.
YES! So what else could you use to make yourself feel connected with others? What else would give you comfort?
I love Ramen!!
@@andrewrayuga6774, You are not helping.
Your comment illustrates so much that is so wrong with us as a society - the processed food industry is thriving and has been for decades because of our empty, soulless workaholism that causes neglect and family breakdown. Thank you for sharing and so sorry for what you've been through.
Who else cried like a baby when trying to think what the food remembered you and noticed that all along, you only miss your parents emotional connection?
Ana Nogueira I suddenly realised that I go for cake because my mum made fairy cakes for us when I was at school and it was something happy and comforting to come home to - and chocolate reminds me of my dad.
I eat tasteless, bland fast food for comfort. I've never really thought about why before. I didn't have fast food until I moved to the US as a kid with my mom, leaving my dad behind in another country to finish out his military deployment. While he was still stationed there, a massive volcano eruption happened at the base and for a little bit we didn't even know where he was. My grandparents would take us to fast food during this time, and it was a bit of happiness in a very hard time (I also didn't fit in at the school there and was bullied mercilessly).
I thoughtI was the only one:) Like many write here my comfort eating started when my parents separated and my first day at my new home. This is 40 years ago.
yeah....my parents were abusive too
What the food remembered you and noticed that all along? That doesn't make sense
Holy molely! I just connected my love of doughnuts back to childhood Sunday's before my parents divorced....
Jamie Blevins I love revelations like that. :)
omg!
Yeah
Wow amazing
My grandmothers gave me love and candy...
I binge whenever I'm alone because my mother has always been very judgemental and strict when it comes to food. I remember, when I was a kid, to binge was my way to enjoy my freedom and that felt so exciting. This never changed. I'm now fighting against that craving.
The part about how your eating is tied to a memory really hit. I grew up in an abusive situation and chocolate was one happy thing during that time. I also made cakes with my grandma, who I adored. Basically sugar was the comfort of my childhood. I feel I ‘need’ at least one bar of chocolate a day. Time to rethink that I think.
About two months ago I realized I didn’t have a weight problem, but an emotional eating problem. But I’ve still struggled to turn it around. I’ve been looking for some trauma in my past, whereas now I realize it was the love connection to my mother who baked. It all makes sense. I think I can do this now. Thank you!
Wow the way you phrase the first sentence really changes my perspective on my struggles with my weight, never thought about it that way!
Perfectly said. When we use the correct wording we in turn focus on solutions correctly.
Thank you
Hi Caroh, hope you’re safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world 🌎
'Face your stuff, don't stuff your face'. I love that! 😊
Thank you -- it certainly helped me!
This is the type of video that comments are also helpful.
My usual go-to comfort bingey foods are pizza, cookies and Cheetos. I’ve been watching a string of videos about how I can stop this. This was a good one.
Thank you.
"You can lose the weight and keep it off:
• if you break that blinkin diet yo yo mindset
• if you learn from your experience and do what works for you
• if you recognize what drives you to food and face that"
Love this TED talk, thank you so much Ms. Renée!
Yep -- that's a good summary. Thank you!
emotional awareness and self-compassion are major keys when it comes to health and fitness goals!
Absolutely!
My biggest problem with food was waiting so long to eat that I was hungry and desperate every single time I finally did eat. Now that I am eating regularly and slightly earlier than I used to - I am able to eat much less without feeling panicky. Also, I added a ton of protein and some fruit to my meals and snacks. It really helps me to think about what can I add vs what am I losing
I'm on the same boat.... I always fasting till dinner time and stuff myself with alot of fooods till midnight... and I gained weight pretty quickly....I know it is unhealthy but I don't knowhow to break my rountine :(
Decide what weight u wanna weigh and tell urself no matter what u eat u weight ur desire weight.
Loved this. Exactly what I needed. Thanks Renee🙏🏻
that's a powerful message. thanks for uploading this video
All the questions were so thought-provoking and insightful. One of the best talks on emotional eating!
WOW ! Thank you for this!
Thank you for this, it helps a lot
Splendid talk and encouraging, thank you very much. Congrats on your success!!
Short, succinct great information I will take on board thank you!
This video deserves a million views. Absolutely *incredible* !!!!!!
I just want to say, thank you. My binge/comfort food is directly attached to my dad and the love we shared when I was child. When I feel unloved, I go there. Great starting point for me. I can't thank you enough.
Im a single teen mom living on my own and still going to school I had so much stress on my shoulders I ended up developing binge eating..I’m slowly getting better and trying to lose the weight I’ve put on thank you for sharing your inspiring story :)
How are you now?
How are you now ?
Doha Aymoon im à lot better i started consulting for my binge eating and started slowly loosing weight
@@zoebrilliard1653 Fantastic, Zoe! Sometimes we all need a bit of help along the way. So glad you found someone who is helping you get healthy.
Zoé Brilliard I am going through the exactly same thing as you. Single teen mom and currently in college I am emotional eater at its best
This is a wonderful video with a very helpful message. I've been thinking over why I eat emotionally and I've realized that it's when I've not gotten time to recharge and I'm pulled by the demands of my family or work. It's like my decisions are poorer and willpower is weak. I need that timeout. I'm going to make it a priority.
5:50 the carbohydrates who bring their friends along....funny! and true as to where they attach.
8:00 face your stuff, don't stuff your face. Chocolate cake was my tender moment with my mother. A piece of bread and butter also. This is very helpful.
I'm so glad it's helpful!
Great talk Renee, such an important topic, I love your story and approach! It's true , it's almost never about the food, but the comfort and the distraction the food provides, thank you!
Hi Cynthia, hope you’re safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world 🌎
Hi Renee, thank you so much for this video! I gained 20 lbs because of severe depression from 2015-2016 (after yo-yoing) and I’ve had so much trouble losing it because I go back and forth between bingeing and restricting due to depression. But I’m trying to just be mindful of my emotions and resist that emotional eating impulse and I think I’m finally making progress. Honestly for most people, If you tackle the emotional or boredom eating behaviors, weight loss is pretty straight forward.
Yes, getting free from emotional eating saves a WHOLE BUNCH of calories. 😃
EXTREMELY powerful. Thank you 😊
What a great way to look at food and weight! A terrific talk.
Hi 👋 , hope you’re safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world 🌎
How are you doing today?
What excellent advice. Such a great understanding of how to stop yo-yo dieting!. Well done!
Hi Joyce, hope you’re safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world 🌎
thank you!! great talk
thank you...
I’m an emotional eater for years. I guess up to now. Binge eating and purging at times. I really want a real change and I want to consistently loose weight. I felt connected to her.
I connected my love with cookies and bread and chocolate milk when I was a little girl at the end of the day that what I ate and every single day no matter how rough it was I would have that and watch tv ... now I do it as comfort
So now find a better option for comfort -- one that brings real comfort rather than a temporary fix.
Brilliant. Thank you, Renee!
Thank you!
Oh man, when she said close your eyes. I pictured meatloaf and mashed potatoes my mother made. She past in 2015 and granted I was heavy before she died, I got much heavier after she died. I never made that connection to that meal before. Thank you Renee.
what a powerful video. I love her approach on eating with a sustainable method. You really can only lose weight and keep it off in one way. You must do it moderately and sustainably so you can maintain that lifestyle for the rest of your life! It’s the truth and it’s working for me!
Indeed! Thank you -- and keep making it work!
Wow! This youtubevideo started a new chapter in my life!
Thank you! I could say nothing more about it!
Excellent!
So simple yet brilliant advice! Thank you
Thank you! All the best!
Very inspirational speech... I've suffered from emotional eating all of my life. And because of that I've always been overweight and it made me hate myself to the point I'd just eat to fill that void. But now I'm trying to fight against it and watching this video motivates me even more!
Me too. Let's pray for each other.
Probably the best thing I've ever heard about dieting and emotional eating. Thank you
Thank you!
My comfort food is Street Style Chicken Fried rice and Chilly Chicken. I connected it to the times I was depressed after my 1st break up and it was the only thing which gave me solace. Guess what ?! 12 years and few relationships later it's the same. Thanks for this wonderful talk. You made me realise where the association is coming from :)
Good luck
I absolutely love this woman
Thank you this video has made things clearer for me.
Wow! So many people need and can learn from your advice and personal experience with conquering overeating. Your honesty and genuine care about your struggle with changing your eating habits is so heartfelt--and very helpful. Your humor and support help people get the emotional courage to face themselves. You are an outstanding role model. And your talk helps people without eating issues be more empathetic. Thank you!
We must focus on our health and if we don't, we will see the outcome sooner than it supposed to. We get older and our health deteriorates naturally, but why not to take care of it now.
A really nice Ted Talk and I adore this woman... so expressive and so simple, some sort of motherly figure I feel like I can trust
You are kind!
Fabulous and well presented ! Thank you !!
Thank you, Karen. If you'd like more, I'm doing a pop-up group challenge. Details will be available Thursday @packyourownbag
Brilliant. Emotional eating... That rings a bell and illuminates my way. Thanks so much. Thanks for your Inspiration. Love from Uruguay.
You are quite welcome. Love from Texas-
Woah! Thank you!
I think you are awesome! Great message!!
Thank you, Lorie. Hope it's helpful.
It's about retraining your brain to not think about food often ,not revolve your life around it .
My problem had always been giving into eating impulses .I would think about something good I'd like to eat,go to the store ,buy it and binge eat it .
I found that I could control it by summoning willpower within me to go on a weight loss journey .
Reaching your goal means eating basically the same way as you did while losing weight,just incorporating alittle more food.
Once in awhile I will eat a candy bar but I don't binge on them
Did you manage on willpower alone? That's great strength!
It's funny now that I think about it movies/TV have always given me the exact same satisfaction in terms of reacting to my feelings. Think that's why I always combine the two to get one great big satisfaction boost I should be really thinking is there another way to 'face my stuff and not stuff my face"
This was so good, when she asked what the comfort foods mean and how we can get that feeling it made me tear up
I hope it was helpful!
@@ReneeJonesPackYourOwnBag how do we actually get that feeling of comfort, soothe, joy? Different hobbies, talking to people I like, new things don’t bring that much comfort, soothe and joy as sweet and salty food does. So how do I replace the food?
Loved this. Makes so much sense!!
Thank you, Diana!
@@ReneeJonesPackYourOwnBag 💙
Thank you 💚
Renee, you’re a natural communicator. Thanks for this.
Pat, thank you!
Beautiful impressive talk. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
Thank you, Arline!
Helpful, positive talk AND she wasn't rushing through it, which can be annoying. Thanks!
Mrs. Jones is so charming & inspiring! I am so happy I found this gem.
You are so kind, thank you--
So grateful for your message
Thank you for saying. Its very kind of you--
I could relate to the peanut butter and the spoon! Been there done that! Thanks!
7:59 “Face your stuff, don’t stuff your face” I love that, and I’m using that from now on!
Brenda, be my guest! Use what works for you. :)
Thank you
I think one of the most common ways people gain weight is through eating out of boredom. The best ways I found to overcome that was to chew on something and trick yourself into thinking that you're eating but you're really not. Sugar-free gum is a good idea.
Indeed! Boredom is a primary driver for emotional eating. Chewing gum is an option, but perhaps overcoming emotional eating is the best method. When we face our stuff, we no longer need to stuff our faces.
I eat out of boredom often. Hot tea has helped me prevent my food cravings.
@@andrewrayuga6774 Great idea! I will try that!
I don’t find gum as satisfying but Eating kimchi helps me because it’s spicy and hardly any calories for the flavor, and it helps me drink lots of water. And I’m normally not a spicy person
Brilliant! Just ordered your book
Louise, thank you!
Brilliant! This plus keto! Yes!!!!
If you're reading this
You are doing great.
Never give up.
👍💪🥇
@AndrewLifts. Thank you!
The attachment of food to positive emotions in the past is a huge AHA! moment for me. I never heard it explained that way. I always interpreted the phrase "emotional eating" as referring trauma, which I couldn't relate to.
I’m so glad that’s helpful! So much of our behavior is driven by our emotions and stress. Unwinding that will give you more authority over choices.
wonderful ! Thank you Renee
Megan, thank you for the encouragement!
Amazing !!
I know that food don’t make me feel better but there are many times that I binge so much that I don’t think of it until the end of the night and it sucks bcuz I feel terrible 😓
Yes, as myself see every fun in eating... Even playing was not satisfying me.. The prise was food, the good quality of family time was sunday mornings with lots of food in breakfast tables. That's how I was seeing my father, that's how we were seeing each other longer and feel connected...
This advice was helpful to me, an emotional eater
"Face your stuff. Don't stuff your face." Renee Jones👍🏾👋🏾
That's so wild to think about - when I was little, my parents used to get me McDonalds every time we would go to the airport to fly somewhere. I hated flying (and hated airplane food), so a happy meal was a nice treat. A cheeseburger and fries is often my go-to comfort food now.
Wow. I did the mental exercise and connected the dots. My comfort food binge is 100% chocolate ice cream. My father always took us kids out for ice cream to show his love for us. The last time this happened I was 4 years old. I actually remember the very day thanks to photographs. I never saw my father again after that day and he’s passed since. Just wow. My mind is blown. 🤯
Yes--that's a big one. So how are you doing now that you know? Have you found another way to feel that love and comfort?
I don't have a specific food. Comfort food. I just seek comfort in eating absolutely anything in fridgr to distract myself from the issue i have or if i am bored. My brain tells me to go to the fridge and get it. And eat it.
How can you break that connection between food and your issue? When you sort out the issue, it can no longer drive you to food.
this channel is amazing! subscribed (south korea)
Thank you!
For me it has been a year and half journey of trial and error because after all that's what the weight journey is about understanding what YOU and YOUR own body needs and how it operates... realizing that I didn't have a healthy relationship with food but is a daily choice. Be graceful to yourself
Yes maybe you are not where you want to be but remind yourself that you are not where you used to be and that is a win!!
Now I eat (portion control) even when I'm not hungry because I understand that I need to eat right and fuel my body correctly.
Once you understand what works for you and only you.
So let's keep going weight losing journey Friends!
Yes, it is! Congratulations on your journey!
Ohh amazing.. I love it..
The exercise at the end was wow. I realised that my comfort food which is mostly a doner/shawarma is something that was kind of a family tradition. Until i was 16, every Saturday after i moved with dad we would go out with the whole family to a turkish restaurant and order something similar. My relationship with dad kind of strained in the past few years with him. And every time i have a negative feeling, I comfort myself with that.
Well done, Tushar! You’ve got it!
So interesting 🙏✨
I actually do have a set of clothes for when I'm on my period and all bloated, but keeping clothes that don't fit took up too much room. So I threw away things that didn't and it made me feel better and I actually had more motivation to workout because I noticed the difference when I lost weight.
Thanks, President Roslyn!
Congratulations on your "Lose Weight And Keep It Off: Emotional Eating | Renèe Jones | TEDx" inspirational thanks for sharing.⚖
Thank you! Hope it’s helpful.
I liked this talk very much. Miss, you are awesome 🤩
Thank you!
This speaker is fabulous. I wish I could meet her in person.