I feel so confident looking in the mirror but i hate the way I look in most photos. My family sucks at taking photos of me so I just don’t look at them
I rarely take selfies, but last week an old friend visited from out of town. Before she left, we took several selfies together, most of them goofy faces, but a few cute smiles. I was horrified when I saw them. I know I have big cheeks but when did I turn into a chipmunk? Is my head really that long?? Thanks for the reminder that phones distort images. I would much rather remember the delightful afternoon I had with an old friend than get bummed out over an unflattering pic.
Tip, the selfie camera is the bad camera, if you want cute pictures, use the camera on the back of the phone which is the camera they specify all the specs of. That camera is just as good as any regular photo camera.
While growing up, my nose was always the part I hated most about my body, and I remember even crying as a teenager because of how ugly I felt my nose was. I always wanted a small, "cute" nose. Years later, I moved to a country on the opposite side of the globe and was shocked how everyone suddenly commented on how beautiful my nose was - even strangers like the vendor lady on the market told me how pretty my high nose bridge looks while I handed her the money. This whole experience somehow changed everything for me. I started caring a lot less, because I really got to realize how useless the concept of beauty is. It's so drastically different wherever we go, so I started thinking: "Why even care?"
South Koreans would also ask me if I did my nose or how the bridge was so high lol, never heard that anywhere else. Standards are so different everywhere.
The weird thing is I am so unhappy with my uneven skin, acne and crooked nose that I hardly have pictures of myself since 2013, yet I find myself admiring these exacts "flaws" in other people thinking how beautiful they make them look We really don't make sense by being so critical of ourselves
@@annalisa7313 as someone who is nearly 30 and has been seeing specialists since I was 14 years old, I understand what you’re trying to say here, but it isn’t helpful. Nox likely already has tried things to improve their skin and even if they haven’t it is not fair to assume that if someone still has acne that they haven’t tried to improve their skin. My acne is genetic and hormonal. I will likely always struggle with it and therefore I’ve always been very sensitive about it since I’ve done everything short of Acutane to improve the situation to no avail. (My doctor and I really don’t want to go that route - it’s horrible for your body and isn’t guaranteed to work). I know it is something that truly makes me feel uncomfortable, unattractive, it physically hurts, and there’s nothing I can do about it. People assuming that I haven’t done anything to alleviate that discomfort is a little bit insulting, which I assume might be similar for OP. Please don’t make those kinds of assumptions about people.
Feeling you about the uneven skin, I've hated mine all my life. Filters on pictures and even now videos (and even makeup which makes skins look all smooth, erasing all little pores and bumps) have completely distorted how we see skins. It helped me a lot to get in a relationship with someone who has acne but whom I still find gorgeous. I hope you can find a way to understand that it's really not that important to have a smooth skin. I've learned to accept mine - I will never love it, but there are other things I like about myself and I'd rather focus on these. Look up Cassandra Bankson, if you don't already know her, finding her beautiful with her acne helped me a lot.
i love unique faces! its why those face app filters that make people all look the same "ideal" just dont look that nice to me compared to a face that has character, lines from smiling, unique features that make you marvel at how rare their beauty is. Benedict Cumberbatch is a good example of this, his eyes are far apart but it makes him striking to look at, and memorable.
I feel at my lowest when I get dressed, do my hair, put on make up and I still cant manage to take a single decent selfie/feel good enough to go out like that. I feel so defeated and unsatisfied. I wish i could get glow ups.
I feel you, but that's because our expectation is to get the glow up that we see on social medias, and we forget that they are full of filters and retouching, not like ours when we take them.
Me too. I’m going on a trip pretty soon and I want to look nice so I’ve been playing with my makeup and hair and taking photos, but I look horrible in all of them. You’re not alone❤️
YES. its heartbreaking to put all that time and effort into trying to look decent and then u still look terrible. i used to really really like makeup and doing creative looks for fun at 2 am. and now i wake up extra early to get ready just to have a mental breakdown 15 minutes before i have to leave bc even with makeup i dont look presentable.
You made some great points. My grandmother and my Dad make me feel badly about my appearance commenting on my weight (at 7 months pregnant!) and how my hair colour was nicer when I was a child (it got darker with age, shocker!) Doesn't make for a fun Sunday visit.
Da hell, they expected you to be skinnier somehow when you were 7 months pregnant, yh okay its not like you were growing a fricking baby in your body!!
I would quit hanging around them. Don't say I am not going to hang around you anymore because they might say something like," I don't care." That might upset you more. Instead I would just do it. You might not want to do it forever. You might not want to stay away from the for life but for the time being, I would stay away from those two ignorant family members.
When I take a selfie (as in flip the camera so I can see my face) I always feel ugly. However when I hold the camera in front of a mirror, I somehow feel 100% more attractive. Which is really weird. I guess that's why I prefer mirror selfies/photos to the traditional selfie
Same... Also, I read somewhere, ages ago, that apparently our brain also distorts a little bit when looking into the mirror; we tend to feel more attractive (than on normal photos taken on a camera, not selfies). I felt that might be true, although certainly staring into the mirror too much also doesn't help.
i think its because we're used to perceiving ourselves with how we look in the mirror which is actually a flipped version from how people actually see us in selfies and real life.
having à mirror 2 while tàking picturesy of yourself helps alot. You can see your pose and emotions being portrayed and you can take more good photos than selfie alone, which is less time spending of retaking them. 👍🙏💜✨
My biggest problem is people taking pictures of me when I'm not ready or excpecting it. My old friends would take pictures of me eating, talking or just from weird angles which made the photos always turn out horrible and I'd get shocked because that's not at all what I think I look like based on the mirror or pictures I might take of myself. I truly realised how harmful this was for me once I switched friend groups and suddenly no one really took pictures of me and I started feeling a lot more confident. Funny pictures of friends can make really nice pieces of memories but they can also be harmful so I just hope more people will realise. Oh and definitely don't post those pictures online without consent!! Anyway, tack för en inspirerande video! Jag ska tänka på att inte stirra för mycket i spegeln framöver
lol when i was young, i used to spend hours in front of the mirror because i’d pretend my reflection was my friend - definitely a self-esteem booster for a lonely child hahah
I will add my bit here, which I hope whoever reads this will take on board. I grew up in an era when selfies and social media weren't a thing, thank god!. It was still difficult though, as a person who was never blessed with self confidence. However, I look back at the FEW pictures of me when I was younger and realise that I was very attractive and yet never appreciated it. You get old in the blink of an eye, just enjoy your youth and beauty and stop comparing and judging yourself. I actually appreciate myself more now as an attractive older woman but this time is now very short, so stop the constant put downs and live for today as you are and enjoy it!.
What if my 'bad company' is literally all of society when I step out the front door? 😭 The amount of rudeness I've experienced from total strangers who feel the need to insult my face or body is insannne.
people will think what they think, if you think you look great then stay in that confidence bubble and dont let others disrespect get into that bubble! its okay if it does sometimes as long as it leaves, because in the end its you and will be you forever in the end! so listening to others negativity is a waste of time and energy
I feel kinda weird, because I love how I look on selfies and in the mirror, but the way I look on photos taken on the main phone cameras is heartbreaking, I can't even tell that person on those pics is me 😢 The difference is huge, like it's not about light and emotions only, it looks like my whole face structure is different
And what made it worst, is the reflection we see in the mirror is the opposite of what people are seeing. I love my reflection in the mirror but it changes when I know that sad truth.
I used to feel like an ugly duckling but I finally transformed into a swan b/c as an artist I have learned to see the beauty in myself and others by focusing on our essence instead of so called flaws xo
I think it is interesting how the definition of beauty in the era of Jane Austen’s novels was more about inner beauty than outer appearance - being kind and “accomplished” mattered more to the meaning of that exact word.
I hate taking selfies since my whole head is distorted! I have a big nose, and my chin looks like a shovel ... but when I look in the mirror I think I look quite good. But i still feel bad since my friends are really photogenic and I'm always the only one who looks weird
I always felt conscious about my nose, even as a kid. I remember a time I put a laundry pin on my nose as a kid "so it wouldn't grow". I have no idea why I was so conscious of it. As I grow older I'm realizing certain traits are in fashion. They don't change as rapid as clothing-trends, but they are still trends. In moments where I think I need a nose job I think of Cleopatra (coins with her portrait suggest her nose was kinda big) and I realize it's all a matter of perception. Thanks for this video!
For some reason when you said “how many hugs we receive” I felt that. It’s probably because I need more of them… I want to be more open to hugs but since my parents split up during the pandemic I get all awkward when my parents hug me, and none of my friends like to be touched at all. I wish I could just squeeze someone really tight that I feel comfortable with and they would feel that way too… I guess that’s why I always loved stuffed animals oop (and still do). :
Yes! Another thing I’ve noticed is that we spend so much time judging ourselves and others for our outer appearances (something so temporary). When you are critical of others, you will likely use a harsher lens to look at yourself. Instead of talking about our pores and waist, why not spend our time with friends discussing things that have true meaning and a significant impact on our world? Thank you for your videos, Jenny!
i struggle with having photos taken, rather than a selfie. with a selfie, i’m able to see what i’m taking and have control of lighting or positions. the thing with photos is i cant see what i will look like, so when i see the photo, i feel awful because i can’t see what position my body is in, of what my face is doing
I’m pretty sure I heard this from someone else but…we also see ourselves every day and so we sort of get used to the way we look where our own features-facial and bodily, can become ‘average’ in our own eyes. Because we aren’t new to the way we tend to look, our features just become less and less exciting like eating the same ice cream flavor day in and day out. It was new, fresh, and exciting at first but then it just became, ‘meh’, over time.
as a photographer I can't stress the first element enough!! and your third point is so important. that's where a picture vs real life create such a gap: people are prone to glance and stare on a picture to find all it's details/imperfections. i think a picture should be also a quick to look at and feel the essence of it without investigating it. love your theme and take on this overwhelming issue I also see in alot of people I take pictures of ! you nailed it!
I love myself enough to not fall into those paranoias people are having to deal nowadays. I keep in my mind my own beauty is just mine and it comes from my parents and family... not from people I see outside faking theirself. Just accept me as I am and never judge/compare myself with others.
Perspective from a portrait artist and lover of faces and people? Beauty is both objective and in the eye of the beholder. Also, we forget that the way we look in still photographs is vastly different to how we come across in real life. Movement, expressions, basically our inside coming out, makes up a huge percentage of how beautiful we look to others. Everyone is beautiful when they smile, and when their personality shines. Truly, it boosts our beauty 1000%.
I feel that more and more these days, I choose who to be friends with by the way they make me feel about myself. If they make me feel bad about myself, then "bye bye"
I get really, really bad dark circles under my eyes on my period. I don't know if that's common. But I've learned that when I wake up and feel like an extra on The Walking Dead, I have to remind myself that my period is coming and that I didn't get uglier overnight lol
@@user-mb9nm7bq5e My dark circles are darker on my period and when I'm exhausted, but they're always there. I go through phases with them. Sometimes I embrace the heroin chic look and feel cool, and then eventually I get the "oh my god are you okay you look tired" comment and it's back to square one haha. Working on it!
Hey Ana, I know you might not see it this way, but think dark circles under the eyes are beautiful. I've had a girl in my cosmetic class who said she never leaves the house without concealer under her eyes. When I saw her for the first time without make up during practise in class, I couldn't hold back a "you are beautiful! :o" In the past I have always worn heavy make up, but I stopped using foundation or concealer under my eyes because I personally did not like this unnatural "doll-like" look, although I wore dark smokey eyes and full coverage foundation lol 😅😂 But *imo* dark under eye circles give the eyes so much depth and it looks so pretty
I think the angels bought me to this video yesterday. I felt like I had to watch it. I knew the above reasons are why I felt like my confidence was crumbing, but I couldn't stop myself from feeling bad. I was in social media for 30 mins and ended up feeling horrible when I saw a girl that is the same age as I am, doing very well in her life. She was pretty, talented, famous, young, has a business and has nice, rich parents. I am working hard towards my life and I know I'm pretty and I'll be in a great place in future. But sometimes it's hard to stay optimistic when social media is showing the highlights of a person's life to us.
Jenny, thank you for this critical video with practical strategies for letting go of toxic self-criticism! You delivered such important messages and I really took your advice to heart (since I’m adjusting to my aging appearance). Inside I feel as young as ever!
I sometimes find old selfies of mine where i look BOMB and hadn't realized at the time, while other photos that i use on social media really make me wonder what i saw in them, after a few days of uploading.😬😬
It happens to me that in the selfies or photos that I take myself I look very good and I begin to believe that I am pretty, but when other people take photos of me, I really look horrible. It's like I'm someone else.
First, great video, as per usual of you. Point 5 hits close to home for me. I'm biracial from south of Europe, while my mum is white as snow, my dad is west African. I was raised in a small village and up until I left for university, I had never met a black/biracial person that wasn't my blood family. It took me a long time to feel beautiful, mostly due to people around me considering me ugly or "exotic". Also, being the first biracial kid to be born in the village in 80's, it was a complicated situation, to say the least. Self internalized racism is a thing that takes a lot to over came.
This video helped me so much. I've been feeling so bad about myself lately, and your super fun yet wise tone really resonates with me. It's not too serious, not too general, not too unrealistic. Great balance!! Much love from Philly
I think you're absolutely right that the company you keep has a big influence on self esteem. My whole family is super critical and likes to make fun of each other and even strangers for their looks. My moms favorite quote to say is literally "don't they have someone in their life that loves them enough to tell them how ridiculous they look?" I think they do it because they also have huge self esteem issues but being around them makes it impossible to improve my own self image. I can't afford to move out tho so 🤷♀️
Thanks for the video! :) Such an important topic. I feel like the media we use (social media, magazine covers, movie actors, porn) lead us to believe in the illusion of a body ideal that we have been chasing. It's horrible for our self-perception and for healthy relationships, because it drives our perception on the outward appearance. I personally try to re-learn seeing beauty in diverse bodies, practicing compassion and acceptance. In the end, we will all grow old. It might be healthy to accept the impermanence of superficial beauty and embrace ourselves and the people the perfectly imperfect way we all are.
This video made me feel so good about myself. I have huge problems with my self esteem and not only with the way I look. Of caurse my looks is a big part of my daily concerns and stress. I come from a home where I was bullied about my appearence from my brother for about 17-18 years straight. I cope with my issues a bit every day and videos like this one, really help a lot!!! Thank you Jenny Mustard, and could all of youtube be filled with this kind of videos please!!!
I like how she sounds, not finishing the video yet. For some reason, some of us don’t take of are selves. Things happen for a reason. We live in a society now we got ghosted now we feel bad. However how we live how this reality is, I hope you get better who ever reads this, your perfect, even if your ugly at, lol. ❤🎉
I have BPD. I don't know if im pretty. I don't know if im ugly. But all i know is that compliments overwhelm me especially when they're excessive and come off as forceful or pushy. Edit* It also makes me upset when people with European noses complain about their nose being big. I have a little button. The nostrils are quite tender and meaty and my nose has a little thickness to it. I was always made fun of for having a big nose so when i see people with structured or literal whoo people noses complaining, it makes me feel so uncomfortable and even more like some people take their beauty for granted even when they are the standard beauty.
Ofc everyone has the right to feel the way they feel about themselves but it hurts more when you actually hate your nose and you see a nose you wish you could have they wanna get rid of it. I hated how large set my nose is.
I know I'm not good looking, cameras, mirrors or my monthly cycle, those don't matter, I know I'm not attractive according to the conventional standards of any country lol but after accepting that fact and living my life for two years I've learnt to place my self worth on my personality and what people love me for rather than looks. Importantly, I didn't make others uncomfortable for validation, I accepted compliments and never spoke down on my appearance, just pretended like looks don't matter till it actually didn't matter to me anymore :) What they about confidence is true, and confidence doesn't come from appearance, it stems from self-love. Once you keep chasing to look beautiful in others eyes, it can be super draining cause you can never please everyone. Accepting yourself is the first step to loving yourself, I know this seems like a "just accept you're ugly" message in a negative way but i hope it made you think from my perspective cause this point of view helped my mental health a lot.
I was adviced by my therapist to say positive daily affirmations about myself everyday. So I stand in front of the mirror and say good things about myself like "you look great today!" "wow check me out!" and actually, once I did it everyday, I really did start to feel better/just care less about how I look. And the days when I do think I look bad I just say "god you look awful... but you've got a cracking personality!". It's really cheesy but because it was so cheesy it made me laugh then I didn't care that I looked a bit rough because I do like my personality!
I feel my worst when I look at myself in the mirror for a long time, just like I start hating a drawing if I obsess over it. I've never considered before that this habit is terrible! I will be taking action right now and only use the mirror for a little bit at a time. :) Awesome, actually helpful video
I feel insecure without make up! It's basically always been that way, since I never felt beautiful before I discovered it as a preteen, and now I'm almost 27. I've tried many different strategies to change this and I'm for sure more confident without it now than I was 10 years ago, but it's more about being ok with things as they are. Now I'm just trying to come to terms with it and almost say THANK YOU for make up, it sure makes me feel like I'm on fire. It lightens my mood, boosts my confidence and creativity. I guess it's ok, you can't have everything, right?
I feel like one of the main reasons I feel ugly would be my company. Though I don't really have a choice because it's my sister and I don't think that she intends it. But she is very beautiful and much thinner than I am but will constantly talk about how ugly she is or how fat and it just makes me think "well I weight 40 pounds more than you, gee thanks" and similar things. So just keep in mind that when you are hating on yourself you could very well be insulting those around you in the process.
Part of my healing process was reminding myself that some of my “flaws” are part of my history. I remember wanting liposuction as young as 8 because no matter what shape I’m in my belly always sticks out. It’s where all my weight goes first and it runs in the family. Even my granny who was only about 100 pounds had a little potbelly. It’s difficult but it’s a step in the right direction I guess.
In my case, it depends a lot on how much I slept the previous night: if I had a good night sleep, I will most likely feel pretty even without makeup, but if I didn't sleep enough, looking in the mirror becomes unpleasant.
I feel much more beautiful since I have decided to focus on my real life beauty instead of “beauty” in photos when I used to edit every single photo before I posted them. Real life beauty goes hand in hand with health, focusing on a healthy fit body, on skincare and focusing on dressing well so that I look put together in real life in front of others instead of occasionally on photographs. I don’t go on social media at all anymore and I feel and look much better than I used to.
omg thank you YT for suggesting this video! I've been feeling so ugly lately but now, after watching this I feel empowered, grounded and inspired x Thank you gorgeous!!
I am a well balanced curvy girl. Always wanted to be that 36-24-36 but the reality is I am 42-34-40. I learned to not stand/sit by "skinny, itty-bitty-titty" gals, as they are like a lying mirror. I've learned to dress in ways that minimize my figure to overcome the sexualization of my 36-G Boobs. That said, nothing kills the sense of self beauty by going out feeling confident then seeing said skinny gal dressed and moving the way I crave to appear. This is all a hold over from growing up in an age when Twiggy was the ideal model and I was stuck in a Mae West/Marilyn Monroe body. Arrgh. Yet, spiritually and mentally, I have come a long way and I really appreciate the honesty in this video.
If you feel ugly or beyond that you are telling yourself ''I don't feel ugly, I am ugly!'' Let me tell you this, even if you have a really bad scar on your face or really bad looking teeth or very disproportionate face all you ever need is a sincere smile and eyes that shine because of that smile. Beauty is such a relative concept. I do not know you. But if you can love that smile when you smile at yourself in the mirror, I can definitely love you too. You are very beautiful and it is not because of how you look but how you look at yourself with those eyes. - To anyone feels ugly.
Its all about being mindful and aware, especially with the social media, everything you said have been things that ive picked up on except actually hearing you say it makes it more real. Thank you for that! My own mother was always negative towards me about my looks, she always said my hair looked straggly and would always say my friend was "so pretty" and then give me a look, kind of like a side eye
When I was in my late twenties I had to spend 6 weeks in hospital and confined to bed, without any mirrors at all! It was weirdly a time when I felt very beautiful and confident. Yes the mirror is not always a good friend!
lol i had these old friends and one time at a sleep over, i was the first to fall asleep. i didnt expect anything but then when i woke up they were giggling and stuff and making jokes about me then i found out that whilst i was asleep they had both opened my phone (i had a fingerprint lock) and went throught everything, all my camera roll and apps and then sent pictures from my gallery to there phones, they then started showing people and making fun of me for this selfie i had took where i actually thought i looked pretty for once and it completely ruined my self confidence, i had finally started liking how i looked and then after wards no matter how good i thought i looked in the mirror or pictures i always thought that i was ugly because i had no perception of what 'ugly' was, all i knew was what i was being made fun of for.
This was fun Jenny. Don't know why you ever feel ugly. I watch you because of your stylish looks and your perceptive take on matters. Probably most of us are not conventionally pretty, but rather much more attractive because of our unique features that make us us. Just look at British actors for example. Most of the ones we love watching best are not "pretty", but have great, as they say, character faces. Love them best...looks wise and ability wise. Remember, our brains like unique and novel best. And the camera can lie about "beauty"...it can be just smoke and mirrors.
I cut some really toxic people out of my life last year. Went cold turkey on them, blocked them on all platforms. My mental health and self-esteem has skyrocketed.
Honestly, I've started not looking in mirrors for long times anymore and I notice my confidence skyrocketing. I also do my best to be mindful, I ask myself "why am I looking in the mirror? for what is it that I am searching?" and that really helped too
I feel like I noticed a few years ago that the way I felt about how I looked seemed to occur in a cycle, a cycle that seemed to coincide with my menstrual cycle :O
Just wanted to say that you look lovely! Esp with the short haircut :) also, I feel so vindicated at someone finally talking about that weird fishlens the phone uses! It's especially not a friend of the well-endowed (I'm talking about noses here!)
I feel the most beautiful and satisfied with myself when I'm dressed like a "potato" at home. I feel like whenever I try to dress up I have some of goal I have to achieve with the clothes, hair and makeup and when I look in the mirror I feel like I didn't reach it. I feel unsatisfied and defeated, like I'm not as pretty as I imagined after all the effort, this goal being the beauty standard of society, feels impossible to reach. That's why potato mode are the best, I feel no pressure at all, I feel beautiful as myself in my own skin
My dad is a person who, although sometimes he tells me that I'm not ugly,his Negative behavior makes me feel insecure, but I can't stay away from him for a long time, Because with My mother is the same (Or worse). I do not know what to do Pd: I'm sorry if I had any spelling mistakes, I don't speak much English, greetings from Mexico
Cutting toxic people form your life or at least distancing yourself is excellent advice. However, this should be paired with honesty. If the person has your best interest at heart but just gives you the harsh truth, that's someone worth keeping. If it's just to be negative disguised as 'good intention', then cut
I don’t really feel ugly i just have the feeling im not caring for myself like a better diet or having more movement in life or sleeping without makeup its those things that make me feel exhausted yet beautiful
when my mom takes a picture i look absolutely awful. i feel hideous even. i look different when i take the picture and more different in the mirror... it's so confusing, and it stinks because a ton of people will see the pictures and think that's how i look.
instagram definitely took a toll on my mental health, making my FOMO even worse. i tried to stop using it and so far i haven't posted anything there for over a year but it is so hard to not look at the feed from time to time. it's also scary how instagram has changed the way you think about photos, i sometimes still wonder whether the photos i took is "instagram worthy" even though i'm not going to upload them anywhere.
I never connected with the weird obsession people had over their appearances. I remember thinking back in elementary school how lame it would be for anyone to seek validation for themselves through their appearance and was convinced that no kid would ever be dumb enough to buy into all those commercials I would see on TV all day long, let alone *adults* being lured into that kind of nonsense. Well, it was childhood's optimistic naivety back then, but I still don't understand the reasons why people do it and I might never will. I mean, surely everyone knew from the start how vain the entire spectacle was to begin with (right?). I fancy myself a beautiful person, but such beauty is not borne of desperation to look good or extreme obsession over the details. Rather it's the natural outcome of not worrying at all about any of such - that's what makes you truly glow. Your body is the result and reflection of your feelings, not your actions. On the majority of the people I've met the most common thing is how they look and smell of the stress and anxiety that seems to plague them most hours of their days. I do only what I feel comfortable/eager doing when it comes to my appearance and no more. Grooming oneself was never meant to be the medicine for low self-esteem or stress - that idea was sold to you by the fucked up society and the marketing experts.
We're living in an era in which beauty is of great significance, hence there's no doubt why people keep concerning about it, about their appearance. I used to spend hours on Facebook or Instagram just to admire other girls and ladies who are deadly gorgeous and to criticize my own body, thinking what if I were more graceful. Even my peers and roommates keep bombarding me (don't think they do it intentionally) with photos of this pretty girl or another look-arresting woman, attaching beauty to irrationally great significance (you got it right, they often say as if beauty and good look are the only important things). At times I feel so pessimistic on hearing those compliments that I feel ashamed of my own self, being green of envy with those who are blessed with nice appearance and I think I am nothing compared to those people. But now I feel a little bit more confident when it comes to beauty because I realize each person is beautiful in different ways. So, I could say that I am beautiful and so are you.
This video is so neat. The minimalism sendss. Your voice and the way you speak is so cutee and I just loved the simple words you were putting to amplify a point! I loved this video and your aesthetic!
Totally agree with you! What about improving your character, your mind, helping others? Beauty is out there, it isn't that relevant if your face is perfect to be happy
I remember showing my ID card to my sister and she was shocked to see that my cheeks looks so chubby, she never recalled me looking like that..so yeah..it’s either they stretch the photo weirdly and disproportionately, or the camera lenses distort it.. 😂
Omg lol My university ID was distorted horizontally, like almost on purpose. Not like a lense or angle thing, just the photo got wrecked while it was placed on it spot in the computer program. I hated this pic, but quickly realized all the university had those pics, so it didn’t really make an impact on me
Honestly, looking really closely at myself in the mirror makes me feel better about myself. When I look in the mirror I think I look pretty, maybe even beautiful. But photos? HELLLLL NOOO- My face looks crazy in photos, im always moving so my mouth is always a little bit open which causes my cheeks to go in which makes my brow bone look bigger which makes my nose look more indented which makes my eyes look pushed in and asymmetrical. My whole face looks like one of those mismatched facial feature paintings in photos.But looking in the mirror almost grounds me. Especially, ESPECIALLY cutting myself off from social medias. That really helps ground me.
I started to focus on my looks in reality and quit all social media for a year now. I rarely take selfies but when a friend takes a picture of me I actually look better than I ever have in photos because I look amazing in real life! I would highly recommend focusing on not your cyber self image but your actual life image and how you present to others as well as yourself because life is too short.
My self esteem was already shit, but when you struggle to find a boyfriend or a guy liking you, it fucking crushes your heart. Well for me at least it absolutely destroyed my confidence. I used to feel sort of pretty before but now 99.9% of the time I feel hideous. To the point where it feels impossible to even go out of my house. I just want this nightmare to end. Jesus please help me and everyone else struggling with self confidence issues!
I know the feeling. The first guy who "liked" me did it as a dare. Although I didn't even like him and rejected him not even knowing it was one. But since then I seem to never give anyone a chance. The first guy I liked is one of my best friends but he's someone who doesn't see the possibility of ever liking me back. It got to the point where I actually started to doubt if I was attractive at all. But then I decided that if there's someone for me out there he'll find me (hopefully he won't cuz guys suck!) And till then I'm not gonna be looking for anyone and I'm just gonna be focusing on myself till I feel confident.
@@clownzen1278 that guy who did it as a dare is disgusting! I am so sorry you had to go through that! I also want to feel confident first before I meet a guy but I feel like time is running out for me. I will be 27 this year and the pressure of getting married is high. Sometimes I just shut off from the world because it's overwhelming. People keep asking "have you found someone" blabla. I know they are probably asking from a good space but it stresses me out :(
the culture everywhere is obsessed with physicals appearance. there is so much more to human being than the way they look. Most people who have changed the world have not been good looking . Hedonism is changing the world. it is so sad.
A lot of the time I look in the mirror after doing my makeup or hair and I think to myself "damn girl, you are stunning. Let's take a pic"... And then proceed to take like 15 selfies, faf about for 20 min and then give up because I can't capture the face I see in the mirror - this distorted-phone-camera explains why.
I'm actually more confident seeing myself on my phone and taking selfies. I can manipulate the angle and where the light hits me. With mirrors, I have to stare into my eyes and confront what is right in front of me. That's scary.
Another reason why photos can make you feel unattractive is because most people look far more attractive when animated; it's only extremely photogenic people who always look good in photos!
I feel so confident looking in the mirror but i hate the way I look in most photos. My family sucks at taking photos of me so I just don’t look at them
I cut myself out of the photos
I can relate!!!! I like myself but not in any photo!!!
@@hadeelmylove2277 991
@@illBunii
???
@@hadeelmylove2277 No need to thank me
I rarely take selfies, but last week an old friend visited from out of town. Before she left, we took several selfies together, most of them goofy faces, but a few cute smiles. I was horrified when I saw them. I know I have big cheeks but when did I turn into a chipmunk? Is my head really that long?? Thanks for the reminder that phones distort images. I would much rather remember the delightful afternoon I had with an old friend than get bummed out over an unflattering pic.
Try taking selfies with your phone in a horizontal position instead of vertical. It might help.
Tip, the selfie camera is the bad camera, if you want cute pictures, use the camera on the back of the phone which is the camera they specify all the specs of. That camera is just as good as any regular photo camera.
@@missyc13 Thanks for the tip!
😂 sry your comment made me laugh out loud. You’re probably beautiful but just self critical❤️😊.
@@linajurgensen4698 😁Happy to supply some chuckles!
While growing up, my nose was always the part I hated most about my body, and I remember even crying as a teenager because of how ugly I felt my nose was. I always wanted a small, "cute" nose. Years later, I moved to a country on the opposite side of the globe and was shocked how everyone suddenly commented on how beautiful my nose was - even strangers like the vendor lady on the market told me how pretty my high nose bridge looks while I handed her the money. This whole experience somehow changed everything for me. I started caring a lot less, because I really got to realize how useless the concept of beauty is. It's so drastically different wherever we go, so I started thinking: "Why even care?"
Which country did you move to?
@@purplemonsoon8376 South Korea!
@@Lucy-zv7kg I know about their standards because I listen to kpop
THAT! When I went to China all the people that I've met were so amazed by my nose! They called it "high bridge nose"
South Koreans would also ask me if I did my nose or how the bridge was so high lol, never heard that anywhere else. Standards are so different everywhere.
The weird thing is I am so unhappy with my uneven skin, acne and crooked nose that I hardly have pictures of myself since 2013, yet I find myself admiring these exacts "flaws" in other people thinking how beautiful they make them look
We really don't make sense by being so critical of ourselves
I get u, cure ur acne if u want to, specialists can help
@@annalisa7313 as someone who is nearly 30 and has been seeing specialists since I was 14 years old, I understand what you’re trying to say here, but it isn’t helpful. Nox likely already has tried things to improve their skin and even if they haven’t it is not fair to assume that if someone still has acne that they haven’t tried to improve their skin. My acne is genetic and hormonal. I will likely always struggle with it and therefore I’ve always been very sensitive about it since I’ve done everything short of Acutane to improve the situation to no avail. (My doctor and I really don’t want to go that route - it’s horrible for your body and isn’t guaranteed to work). I know it is something that truly makes me feel uncomfortable, unattractive, it physically hurts, and there’s nothing I can do about it. People assuming that I haven’t done anything to alleviate that discomfort is a little bit insulting, which I assume might be similar for OP. Please don’t make those kinds of assumptions about people.
i do the same thing with my flaws :/
Feeling you about the uneven skin, I've hated mine all my life. Filters on pictures and even now videos (and even makeup which makes skins look all smooth, erasing all little pores and bumps) have completely distorted how we see skins.
It helped me a lot to get in a relationship with someone who has acne but whom I still find gorgeous. I hope you can find a way to understand that it's really not that important to have a smooth skin. I've learned to accept mine - I will never love it, but there are other things I like about myself and I'd rather focus on these.
Look up Cassandra Bankson, if you don't already know her, finding her beautiful with her acne helped me a lot.
acne? just a part of our skin, inflamed. uneven skin and crooked nose? we r diff baby!! we gotta love all of us!
i’ve recently realized that im not ugly, i just have a unique face! literally changed my confidence significantly
i love unique faces! its why those face app filters that make people all look the same "ideal" just dont look that nice to me compared to a face that has character, lines from smiling, unique features that make you marvel at how rare their beauty is. Benedict Cumberbatch is a good example of this, his eyes are far apart but it makes him striking to look at, and memorable.
For me, it didn't...
I feel at my lowest when I get dressed, do my hair, put on make up and I still cant manage to take a single decent selfie/feel good enough to go out like that. I feel so defeated and unsatisfied. I wish i could get glow ups.
Same, I always feel like it’s such a waste using make up because it doesn’t do anything for me
I feel you, but that's because our expectation is to get the glow up that we see on social medias, and we forget that they are full of filters and retouching, not like ours when we take them.
Me too. I’m going on a trip pretty soon and I want to look nice so I’ve been playing with my makeup and hair and taking photos, but I look horrible in all of them. You’re not alone❤️
i think you are beautiful, it takes time to build confidence and self love but it’s not impossible :(
YES. its heartbreaking to put all that time and effort into trying to look decent and then u still look terrible. i used to really really like makeup and doing creative looks for fun at 2 am. and now i wake up extra early to get ready just to have a mental breakdown 15 minutes before i have to leave bc even with makeup i dont look presentable.
You made some great points. My grandmother and my Dad make me feel badly about my appearance commenting on my weight (at 7 months pregnant!) and how my hair colour was nicer when I was a child (it got darker with age, shocker!) Doesn't make for a fun Sunday visit.
That's awful! I'm so sorry you have to hear such terrible stuff - while you're pregnant too. Sending love 💖
Holy shit... I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you can find your light and your mooring anyway.
Da hell, they expected you to be skinnier somehow when you were 7 months pregnant, yh okay its not like you were growing a fricking baby in your body!!
Even when you’re not pregnant it’s okay to have extra weight and no one should ever comment regardless because your body is none of their business
I would quit hanging around them. Don't say I am not going to hang around you anymore because they might say something like," I don't care." That might upset you more. Instead I would just do it. You might not want to do it forever. You might not want to stay away from the for life but for the time being, I would stay away from those two ignorant family members.
When I take a selfie (as in flip the camera so I can see my face) I always feel ugly. However when I hold the camera in front of a mirror, I somehow feel 100% more attractive. Which is really weird. I guess that's why I prefer mirror selfies/photos to the traditional selfie
Me too. I just figured out that the front camera takes worse pictures than the back one
Take a screenshot when you are taking a selfie instead
Same... Also, I read somewhere, ages ago, that apparently our brain also distorts a little bit when looking into the mirror; we tend to feel more attractive (than on normal photos taken on a camera, not selfies). I felt that might be true, although certainly staring into the mirror too much also doesn't help.
i think its because we're used to perceiving ourselves with how we look in the mirror which is actually a flipped version from how people actually see us in selfies and real life.
having à mirror 2
while tàking picturesy of yourself helps alot. You can see your pose and emotions being portrayed and you can take more good photos than selfie alone, which is less time spending of retaking them. 👍🙏💜✨
My biggest problem is people taking pictures of me when I'm not ready or excpecting it. My old friends would take pictures of me eating, talking or just from weird angles which made the photos always turn out horrible and I'd get shocked because that's not at all what I think I look like based on the mirror or pictures I might take of myself. I truly realised how harmful this was for me once I switched friend groups and suddenly no one really took pictures of me and I started feeling a lot more confident.
Funny pictures of friends can make really nice pieces of memories but they can also be harmful so I just hope more people will realise. Oh and definitely don't post those pictures online without consent!!
Anyway, tack för en inspirerande video! Jag ska tänka på att inte stirra för mycket i spegeln framöver
Definitely agree with this!! Thank you for sharing!!
lol when i was young, i used to spend hours in front of the mirror because i’d pretend my reflection was my friend - definitely a self-esteem booster for a lonely child hahah
You were a very smart child! I only learned to speak to myself as a friend (and not beat myself up at the tiniest things) at 30-something 😅
I will add my bit here, which I hope whoever reads this will take on board. I grew up in an era when selfies and social media weren't a thing, thank god!. It was still difficult though, as a person who was never blessed with self confidence. However, I look back at the FEW pictures of me when I was younger and realise that I was very attractive and yet never appreciated it. You get old in the blink of an eye, just enjoy your youth and beauty and stop comparing and judging yourself. I actually appreciate myself more now as an attractive older woman but this time is now very short, so stop the constant put downs and live for today as you are and enjoy it!.
Ugh I truly needed to hear this 💕☺️💪🏽
What if my 'bad company' is literally all of society when I step out the front door? 😭 The amount of rudeness I've experienced from total strangers who feel the need to insult my face or body is insannne.
ME TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
people will think what they think, if you think you look great then stay in that confidence bubble and dont let others disrespect get into that bubble! its okay if it does sometimes as long as it leaves, because in the end its you and will be you forever in the end! so listening to others negativity is a waste of time and energy
Ye same it’s tiring
I feel kinda weird, because I love how I look on selfies and in the mirror, but the way I look on photos taken on the main phone cameras is heartbreaking, I can't even tell that person on those pics is me 😢 The difference is huge, like it's not about light and emotions only, it looks like my whole face structure is different
Same here. I don't allow anyone to take pictures of me..
U kidding? You look ADORABLE
@@bibliasfanta6376
Hello person, that doesn't really help someone feel better about themselves in the long run.
And what made it worst, is the reflection we see in the mirror is the opposite of what people are seeing. I love my reflection in the mirror but it changes when I know that sad truth.
@@bibliasfanta6376 thank u 🥺💗 that made me smile
I used to feel like an ugly duckling but I finally transformed into a swan b/c as an artist I have learned to see the beauty in myself and others by focusing on our essence instead of so called flaws xo
I think it is interesting how the definition of beauty in the era of Jane Austen’s novels was more about inner beauty than outer appearance - being kind and “accomplished” mattered more to the meaning of that exact word.
I hate taking selfies since my whole head is distorted! I have a big nose, and my chin looks like a shovel ... but when I look in the mirror I think I look quite good. But i still feel bad since my friends are really photogenic and I'm always the only one who looks weird
I always felt conscious about my nose, even as a kid. I remember a time I put a laundry pin on my nose as a kid "so it wouldn't grow". I have no idea why I was so conscious of it. As I grow older I'm realizing certain traits are in fashion. They don't change as rapid as clothing-trends, but they are still trends. In moments where I think I need a nose job I think of Cleopatra (coins with her portrait suggest her nose was kinda big) and I realize it's all a matter of perception. Thanks for this video!
I loooove the un-standard noses so much , I feel some girls look absolutely adorable DUE to their atypical nose 😍
I warmly suggest watching Karolina Zebrowska's video "Why beauty standards are bullsh*t". :)
th-cam.com/video/GJBo2eqzVe8/w-d-xo.html
And here is a link. :D
For some reason when you said “how many hugs we receive” I felt that. It’s probably because I need more of them… I want to be more open to hugs but since my parents split up during the pandemic I get all awkward when my parents hug me, and none of my friends like to be touched at all. I wish I could just squeeze someone really tight that I feel comfortable with and they would feel that way too… I guess that’s why I always loved stuffed animals oop (and still do). :
*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug*
I get what you mean Vali. Hugs are so important, especially long squeezes.
Love from Australia 🇦🇺
@@katemiller5990
@Aeriselle :( yeah…
Yes! Another thing I’ve noticed is that we spend so much time judging ourselves and others for our outer appearances (something so temporary).
When you are critical of others, you will likely use a harsher lens to look at yourself.
Instead of talking about our pores and waist, why not spend our time with friends discussing things that have true meaning and a significant impact on our world?
Thank you for your videos, Jenny!
i struggle with having photos taken, rather than a selfie. with a selfie, i’m able to see what i’m taking and have control of lighting or positions. the thing with photos is i cant see what i will look like, so when i see the photo, i feel awful because i can’t see what position my body is in, of what my face is doing
I’m pretty sure I heard this from someone else but…we also see ourselves every day and so we sort of get used to the way we look where our own features-facial and bodily, can become ‘average’ in our own eyes. Because we aren’t new to the way we tend to look, our features just become less and less exciting like eating the same ice cream flavor day in and day out. It was new, fresh, and exciting at first but then it just became, ‘meh’, over time.
as a photographer I can't stress the first element enough!! and your third point is so important. that's where a picture vs real life create such a gap: people are prone to glance and stare on a picture to find all it's details/imperfections. i think a picture should be also a quick to look at and feel the essence of it without investigating it. love your theme and take on this overwhelming issue I also see in alot of people I take pictures of ! you nailed it!
I love myself enough to not fall into those paranoias people are having to deal nowadays. I keep in my mind my own beauty is just mine and it comes from my parents and family... not from people I see outside faking theirself. Just accept me as I am and never judge/compare myself with others.
Thats the spirit. Peace to you sunshine.
Perspective from a portrait artist and lover of faces and people?
Beauty is both objective and in the eye of the beholder.
Also, we forget that the way we look in still photographs is vastly different to how we come across in real life. Movement, expressions, basically our inside coming out, makes up a huge percentage of how beautiful we look to others. Everyone is beautiful when they smile, and when their personality shines.
Truly, it boosts our beauty 1000%.
I feel that more and more these days, I choose who to be friends with by the way they make me feel about myself. If they make me feel bad about myself, then "bye bye"
I’m so glad you mentioned periods affecting things like this! I hadn’t thought about it like that before, but it makes a lot of sense
I get really, really bad dark circles under my eyes on my period. I don't know if that's common. But I've learned that when I wake up and feel like an extra on The Walking Dead, I have to remind myself that my period is coming and that I didn't get uglier overnight lol
I look like a zombie on my period
@@user-mb9nm7bq5e My dark circles are darker on my period and when I'm exhausted, but they're always there. I go through phases with them. Sometimes I embrace the heroin chic look and feel cool, and then eventually I get the "oh my god are you okay you look tired" comment and it's back to square one haha. Working on it!
@@Ana-sj5xx yea, same, it's probably because of very thin skin under my eyes, so I've learned to like my dark circles
Hey Ana, I know you might not see it this way, but think dark circles under the eyes are beautiful. I've had a girl in my cosmetic class who said she never leaves the house without concealer under her eyes. When I saw her for the first time without make up during practise in class, I couldn't hold back a "you are beautiful! :o"
In the past I have always worn heavy make up, but I stopped using foundation or concealer under my eyes because I personally did not like this unnatural "doll-like" look, although I wore dark smokey eyes and full coverage foundation lol 😅😂
But *imo* dark under eye circles give the eyes so much depth and it looks so pretty
@@Nuriyya91 This is so sweet! Thank you for telling me
I think the angels bought me to this video yesterday. I felt like I had to watch it. I knew the above reasons are why I felt like my confidence was crumbing, but I couldn't stop myself from feeling bad. I was in social media for 30 mins and ended up feeling horrible when I saw a girl that is the same age as I am, doing very well in her life. She was pretty, talented, famous, young, has a business and has nice, rich parents. I am working hard towards my life and I know I'm pretty and I'll be in a great place in future. But sometimes it's hard to stay optimistic when social media is showing the highlights of a person's life to us.
Jenny, thank you for this critical video with practical strategies for letting go of toxic self-criticism! You delivered such important messages and I really took your advice to heart (since I’m adjusting to my aging appearance). Inside I feel as young as ever!
I sometimes find old selfies of mine where i look BOMB and hadn't realized at the time, while other photos that i use on social media really make me wonder what i saw in them, after a few days of uploading.😬😬
It happens to me that in the selfies or photos that I take myself I look very good and I begin to believe that I am pretty, but when other people take photos of me, I really look horrible. It's like I'm someone else.
First, great video, as per usual of you. Point 5 hits close to home for me. I'm biracial from south of Europe, while my mum is white as snow, my dad is west African. I was raised in a small village and up until I left for university, I had never met a black/biracial person that wasn't my blood family. It took me a long time to feel beautiful, mostly due to people around me considering me ugly or "exotic". Also, being the first biracial kid to be born in the village in 80's, it was a complicated situation, to say the least. Self internalized racism is a thing that takes a lot to over came.
This video helped me so much. I've been feeling so bad about myself lately, and your super fun yet wise tone really resonates with me. It's not too serious, not too general, not too unrealistic. Great balance!! Much love from Philly
I think you're absolutely right that the company you keep has a big influence on self esteem. My whole family is super critical and likes to make fun of each other and even strangers for their looks. My moms favorite quote to say is literally "don't they have someone in their life that loves them enough to tell them how ridiculous they look?" I think they do it because they also have huge self esteem issues but being around them makes it impossible to improve my own self image. I can't afford to move out tho so 🤷♀️
The way this woman speaks is so sweet I don’t know why. She seems like an enjoyable person to be around🥹
Thanks for the video! :) Such an important topic. I feel like the media we use (social media, magazine covers, movie actors, porn) lead us to believe in the illusion of a body ideal that we have been chasing. It's horrible for our self-perception and for healthy relationships, because it drives our perception on the outward appearance.
I personally try to re-learn seeing beauty in diverse bodies, practicing compassion and acceptance. In the end, we will all grow old. It might be healthy to accept the impermanence of superficial beauty and embrace ourselves and the people the perfectly imperfect way we all are.
A bit out of topic but could you do a wardrobe tour, love to see your collection!
This video made me feel so good about myself. I have huge problems with my self esteem and not only with the way I look. Of caurse my looks is a big part of my daily concerns and stress. I come from a home where I was bullied about my appearence from my brother for about 17-18 years straight. I cope with my issues a bit every day and videos like this one, really help a lot!!! Thank you Jenny Mustard, and could all of youtube be filled with this kind of videos please!!!
I like how she sounds, not finishing the video yet. For some reason, some of us don’t take of are selves. Things happen for a reason. We live in a society now we got ghosted now we feel bad. However how we live how this reality is, I hope you get better who ever reads this, your perfect, even if your ugly at, lol. ❤🎉
I am at the moment in which I am obsessed wth my newly grey hairs that are flaring all together hell of a sudden and I need to pluk my head off
I have BPD.
I don't know if im pretty.
I don't know if im ugly.
But all i know is that compliments overwhelm me especially when they're excessive and come off as forceful or pushy.
Edit*
It also makes me upset when people with European noses complain about their nose being big. I have a little button. The nostrils are quite tender and meaty and my nose has a little thickness to it. I was always made fun of for having a big nose so when i see people with structured or literal whoo people noses complaining, it makes me feel so uncomfortable and even more like some people take their beauty for granted even when they are the standard beauty.
Ofc everyone has the right to feel the way they feel about themselves but it hurts more when you actually hate your nose and you see a nose you wish you could have they wanna get rid of it. I hated how large set my nose is.
I know I'm not good looking, cameras, mirrors or my monthly cycle, those don't matter, I know I'm not attractive according to the conventional standards of any country lol but after accepting that fact and living my life for two years I've learnt to place my self worth on my personality and what people love me for rather than looks. Importantly, I didn't make others uncomfortable for validation, I accepted compliments and never spoke down on my appearance, just pretended like looks don't matter till it actually didn't matter to me anymore :) What they about confidence is true, and confidence doesn't come from appearance, it stems from self-love. Once you keep chasing to look beautiful in others eyes, it can be super draining cause you can never please everyone. Accepting yourself is the first step to loving yourself, I know this seems like a "just accept you're ugly" message in a negative way but i hope it made you think from my perspective cause this point of view helped my mental health a lot.
Hormones is a cruel stuff. I have a really hard times ones a month
I was adviced by my therapist to say positive daily affirmations about myself everyday. So I stand in front of the mirror and say good things about myself like "you look great today!" "wow check me out!" and actually, once I did it everyday, I really did start to feel better/just care less about how I look. And the days when I do think I look bad I just say "god you look awful... but you've got a cracking personality!". It's really cheesy but because it was so cheesy it made me laugh then I didn't care that I looked a bit rough because I do like my personality!
I feel my worst when I look at myself in the mirror for a long time, just like I start hating a drawing if I obsess over it. I've never considered before that this habit is terrible! I will be taking action right now and only use the mirror for a little bit at a time. :) Awesome, actually helpful video
I feel insecure without make up! It's basically always been that way, since I never felt beautiful before I discovered it as a preteen, and now I'm almost 27. I've tried many different strategies to change this and I'm for sure more confident without it now than I was 10 years ago, but it's more about being ok with things as they are. Now I'm just trying to come to terms with it and almost say THANK YOU for make up, it sure makes me feel like I'm on fire. It lightens my mood, boosts my confidence and creativity. I guess it's ok, you can't have everything, right?
~ staring too close ~ is so real, unbelievable 💔
I feel like one of the main reasons I feel ugly would be my company. Though I don't really have a choice because it's my sister and I don't think that she intends it. But she is very beautiful and much thinner than I am but will constantly talk about how ugly she is or how fat and it just makes me think "well I weight 40 pounds more than you, gee thanks" and similar things.
So just keep in mind that when you are hating on yourself you could very well be insulting those around you in the process.
Part of my healing process was reminding myself that some of my “flaws” are part of my history. I remember wanting liposuction as young as 8 because no matter what shape I’m in my belly always sticks out. It’s where all my weight goes first and it runs in the family. Even my granny who was only about 100 pounds had a little potbelly. It’s difficult but it’s a step in the right direction I guess.
and if you’re biologically female, your uterus will affect this too! that’s a bit of “belly” you can’t get rid of.
I don't feel ugly, I never felt ugly , and I will always feel freeking amazing about every part of me
In my case, it depends a lot on how much I slept the previous night: if I had a good night sleep, I will most likely feel pretty even without makeup, but if I didn't sleep enough, looking in the mirror becomes unpleasant.
I feel much more beautiful since I have decided to focus on my real life beauty instead of “beauty” in photos when I used to edit every single photo before I posted them. Real life beauty goes hand in hand with health, focusing on a healthy fit body, on skincare and focusing on dressing well so that I look put together in real life in front of others instead of occasionally on photographs. I don’t go on social media at all anymore and I feel and look much better than I used to.
omg thank you YT for suggesting this video! I've been feeling so ugly lately but now, after watching this I feel empowered, grounded and inspired x Thank you gorgeous!!
I am a well balanced curvy girl. Always wanted to be that 36-24-36 but the reality is I am 42-34-40. I learned to not stand/sit by "skinny, itty-bitty-titty" gals, as they are like a lying mirror. I've learned to dress in ways that minimize my figure to overcome the sexualization of my 36-G Boobs. That said, nothing kills the sense of self beauty by going out feeling confident then seeing said skinny gal dressed and moving the way I crave to appear. This is all a hold over from growing up in an age when Twiggy was the ideal model and I was stuck in a Mae West/Marilyn Monroe body. Arrgh. Yet, spiritually and mentally, I have come a long way and I really appreciate the honesty in this video.
If you feel ugly or beyond that you are telling yourself ''I don't feel ugly, I am ugly!''
Let me tell you this, even if you have a really bad scar on your face or really bad looking teeth or very disproportionate face all you ever need is a sincere smile and eyes that shine because of that smile.
Beauty is such a relative concept. I do not know you. But if you can love that smile when you smile at yourself in the mirror, I can definitely love you too.
You are very beautiful and it is not because of how you look but how you look at yourself with those eyes.
- To anyone feels ugly.
when i look myself through my eyes,i feel pretty . but when i start to view myself from the pov of other people,i feel ugly.
Its all about being mindful and aware, especially with the social media, everything you said have been things that ive picked up on except actually hearing you say it makes it more real. Thank you for that! My own mother was always negative towards me about my looks, she always said my hair looked straggly and would always say my friend was "so pretty" and then give me a look, kind of like a side eye
When I was in my late twenties I had to spend 6 weeks in hospital and confined to bed, without any mirrors at all! It was weirdly a time when I felt very beautiful and confident. Yes the mirror is not always a good friend!
lol i had these old friends and one time at a sleep over, i was the first to fall asleep. i didnt expect anything but then when i woke up they were giggling and stuff and making jokes about me then i found out that whilst i was asleep they had both opened my phone (i had a fingerprint lock) and went throught everything, all my camera roll and apps and then sent pictures from my gallery to there phones, they then started showing people and making fun of me for this selfie i had took where i actually thought i looked pretty for once and it completely ruined my self confidence, i had finally started liking how i looked and then after wards no matter how good i thought i looked in the mirror or pictures i always thought that i was ugly because i had no perception of what 'ugly' was, all i knew was what i was being made fun of for.
This was fun Jenny. Don't know why you ever feel ugly. I watch you because of your stylish looks and your perceptive take on matters. Probably most of us are not conventionally pretty, but rather much more attractive because of our unique features that make us us. Just look at British actors for example. Most of the ones we love watching best are not "pretty", but have great, as they say, character faces. Love them best...looks wise and ability wise. Remember, our brains like unique and novel best. And the camera can lie about "beauty"...it can be just smoke and mirrors.
Might sound crazy but the moon also effects my mood. If I'm having a particularly manic or sad day, a lot of the time, it's a full moon that night.
I cut some really toxic people out of my life last year. Went cold turkey on them, blocked them on all platforms. My mental health and self-esteem has skyrocketed.
Honestly, I've started not looking in mirrors for long times anymore and I notice my confidence skyrocketing.
I also do my best to be mindful, I ask myself "why am I looking in the mirror? for what is it that I am searching?" and that really helped too
I feel like I noticed a few years ago that the way I felt about how I looked seemed to occur in a cycle, a cycle that seemed to coincide with my menstrual cycle :O
Just wanted to say that you look lovely! Esp with the short haircut :) also, I feel so vindicated at someone finally talking about that weird fishlens the phone uses! It's especially not a friend of the well-endowed (I'm talking about noses here!)
i hate when other people take photos of me, it's always from an angle that makes my face look even longer than it is (which is already long)
I feel the most beautiful and satisfied with myself when I'm dressed like a "potato" at home. I feel like whenever I try to dress up I have some of goal I have to achieve with the clothes, hair and makeup and when I look in the mirror I feel like I didn't reach it. I feel unsatisfied and defeated, like I'm not as pretty as I imagined after all the effort, this goal being the beauty standard of society, feels impossible to reach. That's why potato mode are the best, I feel no pressure at all, I feel beautiful as myself in my own skin
My dad is a person who, although sometimes he tells me that I'm not ugly,his Negative behavior makes me feel insecure, but I can't stay away from him for a long time, Because with My mother is the same (Or worse).
I do not know what to do
Pd: I'm sorry if I had any spelling mistakes, I don't speak much English, greetings from Mexico
Cutting toxic people form your life or at least distancing yourself is excellent advice. However, this should be paired with honesty. If the person has your best interest at heart but just gives you the harsh truth, that's someone worth keeping. If it's just to be negative disguised as 'good intention', then cut
she looks like a versace model, QUEEN
I don’t really feel ugly i just have the feeling im not caring for myself like a better diet or having more movement in life or sleeping without makeup its those things that make me feel exhausted yet beautiful
when my mom takes a picture i look absolutely awful. i feel hideous even. i look different when i take the picture and more different in the mirror... it's so confusing, and it stinks because a ton of people will see the pictures and think that's how i look.
Thank you for this! I'm sure this topic means a lot to a large group of people and I'm grateful you gave us an insight on this.
Agreed! Being around people are are vocally picking themselves a part does not do well for me! I try to avoid people who are toooooo image-focused.
Your video made me feel so calmed and so much peace bout myself. Thanks Jenny lots of love from Costa Rica
instagram definitely took a toll on my mental health, making my FOMO even worse. i tried to stop using it and so far i haven't posted anything there for over a year but it is so hard to not look at the feed from time to time. it's also scary how instagram has changed the way you think about photos, i sometimes still wonder whether the photos i took is "instagram worthy" even though i'm not going to upload them anywhere.
This has nothing to do with the video... But you have GORGEOUS EYES!
I never connected with the weird obsession people had over their appearances. I remember thinking back in elementary school how lame it would be for anyone to seek validation for themselves through their appearance and was convinced that no kid would ever be dumb enough to buy into all those commercials I would see on TV all day long, let alone *adults* being lured into that kind of nonsense. Well, it was childhood's optimistic naivety back then, but I still don't understand the reasons why people do it and I might never will. I mean, surely everyone knew from the start how vain the entire spectacle was to begin with (right?). I fancy myself a beautiful person, but such beauty is not borne of desperation to look good or extreme obsession over the details. Rather it's the natural outcome of not worrying at all about any of such - that's what makes you truly glow. Your body is the result and reflection of your feelings, not your actions. On the majority of the people I've met the most common thing is how they look and smell of the stress and anxiety that seems to plague them most hours of their days. I do only what I feel comfortable/eager doing when it comes to my appearance and no more. Grooming oneself was never meant to be the medicine for low self-esteem or stress - that idea was sold to you by the fucked up society and the marketing experts.
We're living in an era in which beauty is of great significance, hence there's no doubt why people keep concerning about it, about their appearance. I used to spend hours on Facebook or Instagram just to admire other girls and ladies who are deadly gorgeous and to criticize my own body, thinking what if I were more graceful. Even my peers and roommates keep bombarding me (don't think they do it intentionally) with photos of this pretty girl or another look-arresting woman, attaching beauty to irrationally great significance (you got it right, they often say as if beauty and good look are the only important things). At times I feel so pessimistic on hearing those compliments that I feel ashamed of my own self, being green of envy with those who are blessed with nice appearance and I think I am nothing compared to those people. But now I feel a little bit more confident when it comes to beauty because I realize each person is beautiful in different ways. So, I could say that I am beautiful and so are you.
This video is so neat. The minimalism sendss. Your voice and the way you speak is so cutee and I just loved the simple words you were putting to amplify a point! I loved this video and your aesthetic!
For me life is too short to feel self-conscious about the way I look.There are things that are more necessary to be improved
Totally agree with you! What about improving your character, your mind, helping others? Beauty is out there, it isn't that relevant if your face is perfect to be happy
@@catalinadominguez9485 leave that my personality is horrible
@@armyshope haha
@@catalinadominguez9485 well I wish I could completely change my personality
I've been eyeing up the black vivaia boots for a while now, I think you've just given me the push to buy them!
This video made me feel beautiful 💚 thank you ☺️
I remember showing my ID card to my sister and she was shocked to see that my cheeks looks so chubby, she never recalled me looking like that..so yeah..it’s either they stretch the photo weirdly and disproportionately, or the camera lenses distort it.. 😂
Omg lol My university ID was distorted horizontally, like almost on purpose. Not like a lense or angle thing, just the photo got wrecked while it was placed on it spot in the computer program. I hated this pic, but quickly realized all the university had those pics, so it didn’t really make an impact on me
Honestly, looking really closely at myself in the mirror makes me feel better about myself. When I look in the mirror I think I look pretty, maybe even beautiful. But photos? HELLLLL NOOO- My face looks crazy in photos, im always moving so my mouth is always a little bit open which causes my cheeks to go in which makes my brow bone look bigger which makes my nose look more indented which makes my eyes look pushed in and asymmetrical. My whole face looks like one of those mismatched facial feature paintings in photos.But looking in the mirror almost grounds me. Especially, ESPECIALLY cutting myself off from social medias. That really helps ground me.
1:34 I don't want that but I feel that, which is why I only ever take mirror photos
I like myself on photos and selfies, but I am many times worried that I dont look that good in reality.
I started to focus on my looks in reality and quit all social media for a year now. I rarely take selfies but when a friend takes a picture of me I actually look better than I ever have in photos because I look amazing in real life! I would highly recommend focusing on not your cyber self image but your actual life image and how you present to others as well as yourself because life is too short.
I feel ugly but it’s so random that your video popped up on my feed. Glad it did.
I feel critical when one or two of my classmates make a comment & I can't run cause' they're in my class & i am just humiliated of myself.....
i can understand......
My self esteem was already shit, but when you struggle to find a boyfriend or a guy liking you, it fucking crushes your heart. Well for me at least it absolutely destroyed my confidence. I used to feel sort of pretty before but now 99.9% of the time I feel hideous. To the point where it feels impossible to even go out of my house. I just want this nightmare to end. Jesus please help me and everyone else struggling with self confidence issues!
I know the feeling. The first guy who "liked" me did it as a dare. Although I didn't even like him and rejected him not even knowing it was one. But since then I seem to never give anyone a chance. The first guy I liked is one of my best friends but he's someone who doesn't see the possibility of ever liking me back. It got to the point where I actually started to doubt if I was attractive at all. But then I decided that if there's someone for me out there he'll find me (hopefully he won't cuz guys suck!) And till then I'm not gonna be looking for anyone and I'm just gonna be focusing on myself till I feel confident.
@@clownzen1278 that guy who did it as a dare is disgusting! I am so sorry you had to go through that!
I also want to feel confident first before I meet a guy but I feel like time is running out for me. I will be 27 this year and the pressure of getting married is high. Sometimes I just shut off from the world because it's overwhelming. People keep asking "have you found someone" blabla. I know they are probably asking from a good space but it stresses me out :(
I actually needed to hear this right know. Thank u! Xx
this is such a lovely video!! thank you for making this
the culture everywhere is obsessed with physicals appearance. there is so much more to human being than the way they look. Most people who have changed the world have not been good looking . Hedonism is changing the world. it is so sad.
A lot of the time I look in the mirror after doing my makeup or hair and I think to myself "damn girl, you are stunning. Let's take a pic"... And then proceed to take like 15 selfies, faf about for 20 min and then give up because I can't capture the face I see in the mirror - this distorted-phone-camera explains why.
self-critical.. when I think every other designer accomplished more at my age, and I'm just loosing my youth on "nothing".
Hi Jenny, I deeply appreciate your video. Thank you.
This is a wonderful reminder
I'm actually more confident seeing myself on my phone and taking selfies. I can manipulate the angle and where the light hits me. With mirrors, I have to stare into my eyes and confront what is right in front of me. That's scary.
Another reason why photos can make you feel unattractive is because most people look far more attractive when animated; it's only extremely photogenic people who always look good in photos!
Very kind video. You and your work Inspire me very much
I feel ugly when i Dont have make up, when im lazy all Day long spend my time in bed and so on