Confessions Of A Love Avoidant

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ส.ค. 2022
  • Confessions of a love avoidant.Discover the subtle ways Christina discovers how she is avoiding love
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ความคิดเห็น • 50

  • @ra.h.8840
    @ra.h.8840 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Individuals who have gone through abandonment and abuse in childhood, subconsciously go for emotionally unavailable friends and lovers.
    Growing up feeling unworthy and deprived of the unconditional deserved love of family leads to an eternal emotional starvation and unhealthy relationships.
    That’s how most of us end up being entrapped by narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths. There’s misconception of romantic relationships and healthy boundaries.
    Breaking that spell/cycle might happen, but it will take decades of therapy, self awareness and discipline. A life changing event or trauma might speed up the process of beginning to know what really went wrong from the start.

  • @kimortegastrongwarriorbrid5334
    @kimortegastrongwarriorbrid5334 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This was GOoD.
    I would love to see a love avoidant male as well.
    Ty again

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I don’t want anything to do with emotionally available men. I’m leaving my Covert Narcissist husband. You can see that point.
    I don’t need anyone. I feel safe with myself.
    I don’t take my childhood personally. I didn’t have any control over it. I was a child. In, addition, first I could not control my childhood. Second it’s in the past. Third, I don’t take it personally; I was not the person with maladaptive behavior. Finally, and Most importantly, the thoughts of my childhood are a creation of thoughts that build a story that in the present there’s nothing I can do about it. Therefore it will cause needless pain.
    There is one point I did not address if pain is caused by my childhood, in the present moment I can work on how to heal by being aware of my feelings, which are merely an existence in my mind. I can learn about it by focusing on it; then accepting that it will pass. Feelings just are. Acceptance is the key to moving forward. I do not have anymore control over my feelings than the next ocean wave, or the sun that rises in the morning it’s life.
    It’s not the obstacle that gets in the way; I get in my way by fighting it. I need to take a new path. Reset my GPS.

  • @jessie7017
    @jessie7017 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    After getting out of a 7 year relationship with a love avoidant, this video answers so many questions I never knew I had. 🙌🏻

  • @youtubealiasoriginal
    @youtubealiasoriginal 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Such an interesting session😊 "no one is busy" that phrase is something I thought of A LOT, there are just priorities and when people say "im busy" I know they prioritized something or someone else

  • @ak-47intelligence75
    @ak-47intelligence75 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I once had a guy like this.
    Well, he was my lecturer in college.
    He seemed to be pursuing me romantically and I accepted his pursuit.
    A few weeks into us getting to know each other, he tells me he's due to be married to his longtime GF, that he must marry her but at the same time, asked, if I'd be open to " commit a mistake " with him ( affair ).
    I said no.
    He seemed calm, like he accepted it.
    Turns out, few weeks after that, he started getting pushy. Sexually.
    So basically, he'd lied about the calm exterior. He wasn't happy I rejected his offer to go down the wrong route.
    I distanced myself from him after that.
    He still tries to keep in touch with me till today but I don't respond.

  • @BobSmith-kd4oc
    @BobSmith-kd4oc ปีที่แล้ว +12

    What I'm hearing here is is that the hookup culture is an absolute failure.

  • @KeerthanaR22
    @KeerthanaR22 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Dear Kenny, you freed her from lifetime of trauma cycles in just an hour. And most of us who watched this . Never seen such a loving therapy. Most therapies I have seen has a sense of fear and guilt in the deep ground. This fear makes someone dependent and fall in attachment with their therapist, But I really feel safe with you ❤ that’s what love does to someone. Frees. 🎉

  • @ILyogibibs
    @ILyogibibs 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    OMG... here I thought I would watch this video "about my ex," and surprise, it was about me! LOL... I see so much of myself in her. There have been so many aha moments. Thank you for your videos. How you present information helps me understand myself, how I engage others, and how I have presented in relationships. Your videos help me with more than simply understanding toxic/narcissistic people. I'm two years out of a 24-year marriage with a diagnosed narc. Then into what seemed a good relationship that ended this January. Now I know how toxic it was. More than that, in exploring myself and continuing my healing journey, I see how I played a role in the toxicity of my last relationship. The on-and-off cycle that was depleting me and continuing the hurt built over my life. Thank you

  • @selah7702
    @selah7702 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I am trying to understand why I repeatedly attract love avoidant friends. I get crushed over and over again after I give my entire self to them and they don’t hardly give me the time of day. They just don’t. It is some of the worst pain I have experienced! Desperate to stop this cycle!! I would rather go without close friends than go through that one more time. This was helpful in considering how to change this lifelong pattern of mine.

  • @flower_7890
    @flower_7890 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Eye-opening for sure, I had to take few breaks during this video to process it, hits home as well. Thanks for your work 🤗

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so welcome

  • @vaishalivaidya7978
    @vaishalivaidya7978 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for this counseling session. And more importantly for your vulnerability and openness...shows your courage to get to know yourself better and heal yourself.
    Blessed to hear this conversation 🙏

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are so welcome

  • @Jesusfreak99614
    @Jesusfreak99614 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Everything always goes back to childhood! Wow! Just like you said Kenny!

  • @nikkimacie9763
    @nikkimacie9763 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Omg, this is me.

  • @antoniathornhill
    @antoniathornhill ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This has been such a clarifying moment for me.
    I have to Watch it a few more times. Thank You.

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome

  • @therocknrollcook
    @therocknrollcook ปีที่แล้ว

    This is supremely enlightening. Thank you. Blown away.

  • @amberm5626
    @amberm5626 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That could have been me sitting in that chair. She acts and behaved just like I did in my last so called relationship. It was crazy making. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  • @Gigiyoungerme
    @Gigiyoungerme ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh my love avoidant so truth revealing
    Thank you

  • @vtbhoward
    @vtbhoward ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thanks for sharing this!
    It seems that she's definitely a fearful-avoidant.....
    My cycles looked different, of course, and yet so similar. I noticed the cycles after the 6th time I got with the same extremely avoidant person. I was leaning more anxious preoccupied at first, but shifted into fearful avoidance due to the painful cycles of self abandoning/people pleasing and ending up facing painful realities of self blame/reproach/grief.
    Finally, I have reconciled my inner parts, and chosen to respect my boundaries/values/needs, listen to my feelings, respond with self forgiveness and compassion when I see my mistakes and failures, to validate myself emotionally, and let go of guilt. I learned to grow more to embrace God's vision and plans for me, and see the beauty and protection of His will for me and others.
    Just need to work on fulfilling my spiritual more, creating healthy connections, and explore career growth.....

  • @selah7702
    @selah7702 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Excellent session thank you both

  • @A22208
    @A22208 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    She has fearful avoidant for sure.

    • @socol76
      @socol76 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am an FA and she sounds exactly like me. So yes I agree

  • @rp3741
    @rp3741 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Please do more of these

  • @hellifornian6983
    @hellifornian6983 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you so much for this video. I love the format! I relate a lot with her as I see myself in a similar dynamic and hearing it from someone else's point of view is really helpful. However, I am still confused about one thing. If I choose a secure partner then am I not avoiding the inner work and the healing an avoidant could provide? Also if my partner is willing to work on it with his therapist is it worth leaving or having compassion and understanding is allowed in this case?

  • @keneilwematuludi1267
    @keneilwematuludi1267 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have experienced all things she said I am also a people pleasing tendency as we what and I'm at that point where I don't want anyone or anything and thank you so much for this confession and council I didn't realize that I need do so much work on myself and change my mind set it's not easy but I'm learning thank you

  • @robocrip1
    @robocrip1 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you ❤

  • @godzillamanstreb524
    @godzillamanstreb524 ปีที่แล้ว

    Getting nice….ugh that’s my childhood programming when someone hurts/abuses me ……it’s not right & im slowly changing it 🌟

  • @teemadarif8243
    @teemadarif8243 ปีที่แล้ว

    at this point the mere thought of a very "full" life sounds exhausting after so many years of this. guess patience with the process is so necessary 😌

  • @esg3813
    @esg3813 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you

  • @Vicky-uw7xe
    @Vicky-uw7xe หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I would love to talk to Kenny about the exact same issue...it shows up slightly differently with me but I think the root causes are very similar. I'm in the UK though 😞

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  หลายเดือนก่อน

      That is ok. I work with clients from all across the world through Zoom. ;-)

  • @walkyria1
    @walkyria1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    OMG... that's me... 100%

  • @walkyria1
    @walkyria1 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    OMG.. leave that guy. He doesn't care about you at all. He seems like a Narcissist to me

  • @CarterSams
    @CarterSams ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was (edit: so fucking) awesome

  • @nostimisoupastonomorfokosm7337
    @nostimisoupastonomorfokosm7337 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    A love avoidant is self sabotaging, self avoidant and self damaging. Best thing is to be left alone to live an empty life. They will do that either with you or without you

  • @Jesusfreak99614
    @Jesusfreak99614 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey Kenny intimidated when you ask what do you mean by that what if I or others don't know what they mean or have experience or experienced a lot so much they don't know what they mean what how would you help them with that as well, I keep thinking your like my Dad or youth pastor or negative people I met at the park when you say that but when you say something that bothers me I go back to past were it started from thanks!

  • @alexadam6998
    @alexadam6998 ปีที่แล้ว

    (My findings)
    "I find it unusual that humans view things and animals as a human, but humans don't view humans as human"-2018 Alex Adams
    (Mr Kenny and guest)
    Viewing humans as things.-guest
    For education propose only*

  • @smartypants6198
    @smartypants6198 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Kenny one of my goals is to be your client, lol. I am just waiting to afford you!

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I appreciate you taking the first steps in your healing journey. However, I offer a wide range of services for all financial backgrounds so you do not have to wait to start your healing journey. Here is the link to my website that contains a list of my resources- kennyweiss.net/ I highly recommend you check them out!

  • @fightswithspirits915
    @fightswithspirits915 ปีที่แล้ว

    I flip flopped ;like hell b/c my mind was constantly adjusting to new streams of drama data.

  • @gertaqilla7795
    @gertaqilla7795 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    🤗🙏💞

  • @kjell-olavmossestad5401
    @kjell-olavmossestad5401 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    In the start.. she actually said anyone.. not like Kenny said.. anything.

  • @olbe147
    @olbe147 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That’s vast majority of modern relationships. If it takes so much of everyday every-minute effort to make it work, it’s not even worth it.

  • @kerrytaggart8206
    @kerrytaggart8206 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Sorry but this is messed up.

  • @robocrip1
    @robocrip1 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you ❤