Why They Can’t Come Back (If You’re ‘Waiting And Hoping’)- Getting Your Ex Back
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
- Why They Can’t Come Back (If You’re ‘Waiting And Hoping’)- Dating and Relationship Advice
You want your partner back, but all you're waiting and hoping isn't having an effect. Baffled as to why they left? Wondering if they’ll come back? Learn why the energetic act of staying frozen as you wait and hope for your partner’s return is the very thing that’s acting as a repellant.
We'd like to think that our mental energy can magically bring them back. Oddly, it is just the opposite. It is in the absence of your thoughts that they will notice the lack. They begin to realize that their power of your former 'thinking about them', is gone.
Here are the best steps to take in order to retract a partner who lost interest.
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00:00 Introduction
00:48 Power Shift in the Breakup
01:11 The Energetic 'Ditch'
01:40 the Loop
02:32 Law Of Attraction: Misconstruct
03:09 Moving, Not Waiting
03:22 Energetic Shift
I once heard that when a relationship ends you don’t mourn the end of the relationship, you mourn what the relationship could have been.
Or what you wanted it to be....
Yes its true.. The only man I wanted to be my husband and the father of our children, he asked and proposed so many times to each other.. I kinda wanted to spend the rest of my life with him
Or you celebrate that you dodged a bullet
But it wasn’t so forget it. It is not to be.
True especially when u invested much
Never let a person waste your time twice. .
This 100%! Seems like everyone in the comment section needs to read this comment, then read it again! Why would you even want to go back?
Oh my Lord, he got 3 chances! Blocked and I'm so enjoying the FORWARD movement.
@@desert4seat lol. Right smokey 🔥💪
@@toniabeyta4007 what he do?
Already did.
As a male i can say that the same thing happens to us all of the time. When my ex broke up with me i was in pieces for months, i drank and moped and didn't eat much at all. So one day i looked at the sky and said to myself, man up and turn this pain into something positive. I quit drinking, hit the gym harder and started working on some goals. After about six months my ex approached me at the grocery store. She kept commenting on how great i looked and asked if id like to have a coffee, i said, yes i would, but not with you. Might sound mean but it sure made me feel good.
That a boy. I’m going to have to talk to the sun and do the same
Awesome
Proud of you bro good shit
A good example of poetic justice.
My dream scenario. Good on you.
When you stop thinking about them they want you, but when that happens, you won't want them. In that sense you can't win it may seem, but the real win is regaining your self-worth and peace of mind.
That's not always true for everyone.
🙏🏽
Nah, you still kinda wanted them but deep inside you know it's not gonna work out. Because the damage is already done....
🙇🏻♀️💯❤️🕊
@@EmilyGloeggler7984 🙏🏽❤️🕊
They come back when you dont think about them. SO TRUE.
Facts
They reply when you say goodbye and like to be ignored. Why? My Dog is beautiful I want company, he comes to me. Better then having any children too no nagging nappies
This is so true and I didn't even realise it until I watched this video. Now he wants me and I've lost all interest. If its causing so much distress and energy at the beginning think what you'd be letting yourself in for if you stayed with this person.....no thanks. Self love first always 😊
Well the girl I liked might be married now. Thinking about it if it's true she may of married someone in her family. I'm happy for her but having liked her for years and had planned to contact her when we both would of finished our studies and started our working lives it's gonna take me some time to move on
Well. I'll be glad to tell her..It's too damn bad you gave me all the time I need to find a mature, loving woman who doesn't need to go back to pre k! Find yourself another sucker who needs a narcissist for a girlfriend. If you share with him your next bottle of Heineken you might get a husband!
When you long for someone, you are giving your energy away without them even asking for it or giving you theirs in return. On the quantum level, you are not only focusing on the person you want, you are focusing on the ABSENCE of that person in your life. Which is an energy frequency in itself. So the universe says, "okay, if that frequency is what you want to focus on, I'll give you more of it." The trick is to become abundant again. Fill yourself with gratitude instead of feelings of lack. Stop sending your energy in that person's direction so that they can actually notice your absence on a energetic level.
Love this comment ty
Abraham Hicks haha!
This comment really struck me. Thank you for sharing. It helped me harness my focus these last few days and my ex called today after a four month break up!
@@avgwhitegurl6646 yep, most likely where I picked that up lol
Edit: I'm actually very skeptical of channels, btw. But that part did resonate
@@teamnovember5594 AH has helped me a lot, it's amazing how I don't worry about things any more, I even laugh out loud when I think about some stuff mt ex did!! 2019 is gonna be great - Happy New Year!
The only thing I regret is I showed my needy, attached, and dependant side and now that he ghosted me, I really wish he could see that I only ''chased'' after him because I was lonely not because he was perfect because he was not. I nourished his ego and put him on a pedestal and he was not worth my time and energy! I wish I could go back in time to fix it because right now I realized that I always should put myself first no matter how much I like or love the person.
Don't be sad, you learned from your mistakes. I was there too and the opposite place now and it feels amazing, but I wouldnt be here if I hadn't made mistakes
@@CamillaMille1508 yes it feels so much better now and I am glad I went through this because it tought me something
@@amalft_ It teaches you never to chase anyone again and you have gained and "won" yourself. In a way we have to be thankful for the person who taught us this spiritual lesson.
Ó I no I'm doing this right now
exactly same!
She is 100% right, this is all true, but if your ex broke up with you, don't come back, move foward and start a new relationship with someone that knows your worth/value.
Actually, she’s wrong. God always tells the truth over people who are inaccurate or lie.
Um this chick is wrong start a new relationship and bringing the same energy with your next one and wonder how that went to shit too 😂. No you work on your self and see if the relationship can be saved.
Nah, a rebound relationship is not an answer. It's not fair to the other person either.
what happen if it was your fall she left
There are always multiple points of view. Moving forward in your life is never a mistake. Occasionally relationships that could work break up, but the truth is that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It didn’t work once. it probably won’t work in the future.
Sometimes, when your partner leaves you, it’s the best thing that can possibly happen to you.
Reuniting with a person who doesn’t have your best interests at heart is foolishness.
*MyExLove. info* helps me to get my ex back this program will helps you also
This Program is for both male and females….
Blisterbill I 109% percent agree with bro sum people are just not good for you. I was just in this situation with my long distance ex 1 month ago I found myself stressing with many things with her lol. And just was too much and it was the last straw. Now that we broke things off. I’m not gonna lie I’m a lot happier I feel at peace stress free man I’m just finding myself. Best decision .
So true
There's someone coming my way that's better! OMG I can't wait to find out who that is!!
Definitely 💯💯 💯
This is so bloody true.....when you busy yourself and focus on you...they pop back up. When they do pop back up...give them very little to go on...be short and polite and this leaves them obsessing over you. Swear it.
Bondgirl Watson Is it true?
@@deeptikaur4458 Promise you. The minute you put you first and keep focused on your life and don't even think about them....easier said than done sometimes i know...but it really does work. Put yourself first..its not selfish..its necessary.
Bondgirl Watson I m totally heartbroken...Actually he's not my ex or present bf, we just met for marriage, meaning arrange marriage but it didnt work bcz of some issues in his family but we talked alot thts y i got attached to him so much...Before he showed me interest but now its like he want us to be only friends..Sometimes its weird bcx he show some interest and make me believe that something gonna happen but then he also make me realize that we are just friends..He made me clear that we are just friends but i m unable to accept this bcx i m too attached to him and i really wanna marry him..He knows how darely i love and want him but still he dont appreciate my efforts and feelings...He keep on blocking and unblocking me and i m fedup..I m on no contact rule bcx i m tired now..I want him to regret what he lose..After watching this video, i m trying to control on my thoughts whenevr my mind wants to think about him..I hope it would work on me..I m praying hardly tho..
@@deeptikaur4458 I've just come out of what you're experiencing now. The hurt is real yes but we don't need be brutal with ourselves...or stagger the grieving process or put our lives on hold...for which i'm guilty on both counts. I'm three guys in where this has happened to me...because i unknowningly let it occur. Put yourself first..second and third and fill your precious time and life rediscovering yourself. Do not put your life on hold for anyone! You'll reach a better place when you realise he wasn't worth it. Go for it x
That’s a smart beauty right there
1. Journal your thoughts
2. Cry at night if you must
3. Get up and EXERCISE
4. Meditation
5. Stay off social media limit it 30 minutes at most per day and block their account they don’t care anyway so why should you care if they follow you or not?
6. Learn something new whether dance, art, music, a new math, science skills, etc
7. Read some books
8. Go get a facial or spa treatment
Idk! Just don’t waste your thoughts and time on someone who doesn’t even think of you! I know it stings but In time it gets better trust me. 💯💯💯💪🏾✨🌞✨
GREAT ADVICE!! 😉 👍
you rock
Meditation has been proven harmful.
@@EmilyGloeggler7984 why?
@@EmilyGloeggler7984 shut up. No it’s not
When someone wants to walk out of your life, let them walk. They’re chapter in your life is OVER! Been through this. Love this video.
Noone can predict the future.
Joseph left Mary in the Bible. GOD gave him a dream to come back and he did. People make mistakes. Not all break ups should be permanent.
I lost myself, I lost my hair, I put on weight, I down spiralled & fell into a deep despair after he ghosted me brutally out of the blue. Months later & I'm slowly regenerating like a lotus out of the mud. 🌱
Poor you. Never speak to him again. Make new plans. You'll be whole again. Bless you
Keep rising. U got this💪
N B same I lost my hair and gained weight too. Lost my looks but losing weight and trying to get my hair back.
feel you much love.
That's great to hear 😊♥️
When they left you they did it without remorse without thinking about your feelings. Do not think about them think about your worth..you deserve the Best! End of text.
It's so unfair before they decide to break you THEY PLAN IT weeks before or even months, Then you'll be shocked SHE OR HE already moved on. LIKE WHUUUTT. They don't feel any remorse anymore WHILE US DUMPESS hurt as hell
So cold and callous... The pain they caused
When we think about what we miss or why we miss them and we feel hurt and jealous it's really insane because they were really satanic and we shouldn't be missing people who treated us like horseshit! Let's manifest those creatures out our lives for good!
Why are we holding on? She left me after two years, I was worth only a goodbye text as she monkey branched. The pain was unreal for such a betrayal
@@JD-dv9kc stay strong...!! Time heals
The day I got with my current boyfriend, my “ex” asked to get a drink. Crazy how things turn.
The Vince Vaughn movie "Swingers" and what happenens to John Favre is a perfect example of this.
same!
Definitely a sign from the universe
Never look back.
He saw you weren't looking for him. Responding immediately to his text. But he's still the jerk that left you. Move forward not backwards.
You can get back together successfully. It happens. As long as you both have grown and learned from your mistakes. You treat the reunion as a new relationship while working on the things that went wrong. And most importantly, you don't get back together based on fleeting emotions. Time has healed both of your wounds, and thus your longing for each other isn't based on something temporary, but instead something more profound within you, that's not motivated by selfish needs such as being forgiven or the fear of being alone.
hear hear, profound
That’s exactly what I thought too: profound.
This happened to me! And by the time they got their shit together a year and a half later I was over them and didn’t want them anymore 😌. Moving on is a beautiful thing!
I wouldn't say I'm over them completely yet, but I am making progress. Hopefully they will figure themselves out, but I'm not waiting around for that. I guess when they "come back" it's not necessarily to be with you, but it show you how far you've come. That's how I choose to see it anyway. All of the people who have walked out of my life walked out for a reason. Most times I don't know what that reason is, but my life always turns out for the better by not having them in it. Sometimes you're meant to learn the lessons they bring with them. And then you let them go.
@@bassoonmusic601 good luck!
In reality, you didn’t love them at all. At least, you showed your true colors in the end by moving on.
1.5 years is a long time. If someone wants to be with you truly, they would have returned earlier. Life is too precious & short.
Bless them when they come bless them when they go. Something better is on the way.
Don't know, it's been awhile and no one as good as her came...
Perla Adame am struggling so much i miss him am not happy at all!!! i try to forget him but not easy!!
Perla Adame I agree Perla 😃👌
Amen.
True talk.
amen
I cannot even begin to explain how much time and energy I'm wasting. He is on my mind 24/7. Draining and heartbreaking. 💔
How is it going now
Its a blessing when something ends... you more than likely missed a bullet. Also, be open to a better relationship.
3 AM in tears over a guy that broke me... Found this video out of the blue.. feel like i was brought here for a reason. Tysm 🤗💓
Hi Porsha I am at this moment in tears too.. But you and I will get over them selfish bastards. Love yourself more than him. Someone told me that yesterday. Good luck with your healing process. Time let's their memories fade from your heart and mind. Believe that
I have cryed for wks! Heartbroken! Moving on to self care!
@Robert Brown I'm really sorry Robert. How old are you and where are you from?
@Robert Brown just curious.. Everyone deserves a special person to love them forever. I've also been hurt and rejected. Yet I gave my all and loved unconditionally.
@Robert Brown you seem like a good guy one with values and morals.. Someone that women like me look for but can't find. Yet girls throw away men like you. I live in South Africa by the way. Wish you all the best especially with this coronavirus that's going around wrecking lives
It hurts to let go specially if you love that person, but we must move on.
It's the worst feeling in the world.
Love takes two always remember that! A working love that is! Stay sweet now 😘
@Boj Z Belch. Zach Braffffffff
Did you succeed to move on?
I find it hard to move on Probably more with my dog that how I moved on.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. My partner of 7 years of a really good relationship left me a month ago and I have been stuck and destroyed. In the last two days I decided enough was enough. I have come back from an addiction (12 years now) and my wife passing away. I came out a better more loving person both times. So I started two new self development programs! I workout twice a day, and I hired two therapists to build my support system. I still love my ex but, I also know that on the other side of this I’m going to be a better partner either for her or maybe even someone better. Thank you. Love and light to everyone going through heartbreak right now.
🌈🙏
same。 I still love my ex. but I already move on.
there will be a better person for you ~
Look on TH-cam the 33 secret..this guys will help, learn about Man ans woman
I think we'll be doing yourself a favor if we learn to forget them. I know it's hard but it's not impossible
@@bmawlong321 There's no "forgetting," someone you loved and were attached to.
i read somewhere that the person who you once loved and who hurt you can sense you getting happy without them. they can sense you moving forward and this proves it..
@@annaguzman8140 law of attraction, read about it
So true.
The STRONGEST negotiating position is being able to walk away and MEAN IT!
Thanks, coach corey!
@@robertscottTV the shaved headed bastard knows his stuff
If you walk away AND MEAN IT, there's nothing to negotiate.
corey wayne!
"The one who releases himself from the emotional attachment of a desired outcome is the one most likely to realize that outcome."
Woooooooow ...YES!! I am believing in this from this point forward.
What do u mean. I'm not from an English country. Could u explain
Tyler DeYoung How? how can you detach yourself from someone you love and have emotional bond/attachment with?
@@Lake31 You just MUST OCCUPY yourself with BECOMING MORE YOU THAN YOU WERE...GET BUSY!
@@Lake31 by forging an even deeper and fulfilling bond with yourself. The reason we cling to people who want to leave/don't invest into us, is because we don't FILL OUR OWN CUP. When we ground ourselves in self-love holistically, detachment, healing and happiness come spontaneously.
"They come back when you don't care". Gives me so much hope for marriage.
Love is crazy it makes no sense. Sometimes people needs space and need to move on to come back improved and better. It isn’t always about someone better etc. if you truly loved the one then there is no body better just different.
@@seaeff6428 So what’s the point of marriage? The whole point is to support and grow with each other. There’s really no excuses for wanting space. If they did come back eventually and discovered I was with someone else who is more able to commit, then that’s on them.
@@OnderHassan everyone is you pushed out.
@@seaeff6428and you are them pushed out food for thought
Unplug 🔌 from them
Shift your energy on yourself
And Re Energize ❤️
💓
people want what they cant have, i think the easiest thing to do when you get rejected is to forget about him or her altogether, atleast on the outside, it takes time emotionally, but you stop calling them and stop talking about them day one. start eating heathier, working out just a little more, and cut back on some bad habbits like smoking or drinking and wasting money. over time you will see a change in your wallet and your physical apperance. and the mind will follow the body. stick with it. and remember there are many good people in the world , and if you cant find one, be one.
@ john shoultz. I did exactly that, but anyway, I never felt this happiniess anymore, wich I only felt wit her! I have no contact at all with her since more then two years now, and still stuck on her! It is like a curse!
She was the love of my life, and I know deep in my heart that I will never feel such a love again anymore in this inkarnation :-(
Hey John. I read your comment, and I needed this! So thank you!
Preach!
I felt this
Amazing !!
"Your only hope of having a second option to know them again is for you to move forward and even if it doesn't happen, it's what you have to do anyway." - got me right there. Thank you!
Yes this line hit me hard ❤
It's always hard when a relationship ends or doesn't get a chance to start, not of your doing. And it's only with time and experience that you can come to appreciate the gifts it bore, while at the same time realising, in the long run, you probably dodged a bullet.
Very true. But at the time it is so painful.
@@trinityp8575 and the pain can’t fade-away fast enough.
It's so heartwarming to see people trying to help each other out from each other's pain and struggle they are going through... Susan, Thank you for making all these videos on how to move on and asking us to focus on the wins. I've watched many of your videos and the way you are straight to point without making us feel that it's dallying, is just awesome. Thank you, for all the help and advice you are giving all of us. And going through the comment section does make us feel that we are not alone.
This is good. They do come back when u dont care. The question is, do u really want it? probably not. I want something unconditional. I want a girl who will love me when its not cool, sexy or the flavour of the month
I'm that kind of old fashioned girl. I love and give unconditionally but always get hurt. I want to meet Mr Right
@@andriesquast2028 🙄
A. Q. I am a women and I am not looking for a man to do things for me. I actually find it disrespectful when a guy thinks they can have me because of what they do. It is all about who you are. I am not looking for a bank account - I can use my own. I am not for sale
The point is: there is good and bad in both genders. I had bad experience with men but I won’t let them force me form an opinion about all men. Just like I had bad experience with women.
It’s all about having self-respect, knowing what you want and don’t want, having boundaries, loving yourself and then going out to search your match. Knowing it will be a search and not giving your all to the first attractive or warm person you meet.
You want to love someone? You want to give your all to another? You want to treat them well? You want to show kindness, compassion and consistency? Do it! Date yourself. You are the love of your life! You are the most important person! Show what you can do for you. I will never lose myself, I will never disrespect myself, I would never play games with myself, I would never be hot and cold with me. So I’m not going to look for someone to give me any of that - I have it all. And if you don’t have it all for yourself, then you are not for me.
Have that mindset and life will be easy
Ya thats true
A. Q. I think you have come across the wrong women. I am a woman myself and I have loved the men in my life very deeply. As a matter of fact, I still love my most recent ex, even though he did not give me much. If you feel that a particular woman only loves you because of what you do for her, she does not love you at all. And not every woman is like that, there are millions of good women with very big hearts who love very deeply.
It wasn’t a healthy relationship, right from the start. After many many years, I’m looking back regretting the fact that I was in love with an illusion which I created. I’m glad it didn’t work out.
Same here
Same
I concur!
I love what you said “I was in love with an illusion which I created”. So powerful! I did the same thing. Did=past tense.... No more. 👍
Same 11 years of illusion.
Susan you nailed it so accurately! I was in this ditch a few years ago. Now I'm in love with someone that's passionate and won't ghost on me. in hindsight, I admit I was too obsessed to that person that made him pull away. when he made contact 2 years later, I wasn't interested to see him again, not because of past hurt, but more because I've become a different person and didn't want what he's offering. I'm thankful to him for the good time and such an important lesson I had to learn, in order to gain more emotional maturity and intelligence.
I’d rather feel my true emotions, and miss someone, than force myself to do some quantum leap to get someone back.
Anna Hedman Yes! Well said.
What if you love him, Anna Hedman? What if it is not just obsession? It might be worth finding the kind of dress that men fall in love with even if there isn't a woman in it, travelling a great distance to their front door and telling them what a horrible mistake you have made, not realizing how beautiful he is. The worst that could happen is the same thing as the result of doing nothing. If it doesn't work, you still have the dress. Of course, this would not work if it turns out that you waited too long, and he is married with small children. These are the things that make love precious when you find it later.
I thought the same. It doesn't work. Susan's advice is true
Amen!
When you want them to come back they don’t but the moment you move on and stop feeling anything towards them that’s when they make a come back. But it’s always too late
Mushokabanji Imonda u are so right.
True 😭😭😭😭😭
Nothing but facts bro
This is so true !!
The one who don't want them anymore in the end of the journey of manifesting them, didn't love him/her at first place. Love never die. Interest does. I wonder why would people wanna manifest someone that just interests them, doesn't make them feel loved. These two are different things. And you're absolutely right if you're talking about infatuation, not love.
That ditch we find ourselves in usually after a breakup or the cold stage really is a brutal place to stay, we know we shouldn’t keep ourselves there but we choose to stay, almost like we enjoy making ourselves suffer for something that isn’t our fault, but like Susan said you have to get up and get out even though our motivation has all gone, it’s sad really because it’s a battle no one else can help you with, you must cheer on yourself in those times.
Connor Lewis Well said!!
We have to be our own Best friend and give ourselves everything we seek(ed) in that other person.
Thank u for sharing~ 🙏🏻🙂
thanks for this share, Connor.
Whispering Wind, thanks for your wise words
Connor Lewis well said Connor. I’ve been stuck in that spiral & all motivation has been sucked out of me. I’m in a fog and can’t clearly see a thing.
I love it thank u so much
The paradox is you have to move forward not for them to come back but for you yourself and that amazes me. It happened with me. This is the only way. Thank you Susan, I appreciate your work. 💕
“You MUST move forward”. Yes.
Rhubarb 68,your beauty can make the news
That quote really hit me too. :-) I need to listen to that part like 10x a day.
@Sterling Forbes Yes..
@@31Alden how are you?
I took up knitting...it's my everything now. I love you knitting! I've never loved a knitting like you! You're amazing! Sigh. Knitting, I think we should break up...I'm just not that into you.
Letting go and self love works
Trust God and yourself that no matter the outcome your going to be alright
Best answer
This is a universal truth. God is good ... all the time.
Which god are you referring to
@@clockworkdave9850 Exactly
Evelyn Velasquez best comment of them all
Trust God. He is the perfect matchmaker
After months of my love being unrequited, and feeling confused, wounded and humiliated, I left with no desire to return.
Closure is peace 😌
same, it hurts tho
@@yeuruuerueeheueyep. I still love her as a person as I love all people, but I abandoned all romantic love to regain sanity.
@@mikyl-fo8rh I can’t love someone I don’t respect
I don't have a mother to teach me all of this stuff so I appreciate this channel so much. I feel like if I did, she would be telling me things like this.
THANKS JENNIFER
Things I love about your videos:
1. they are under 10 minutes, thank God! no filler, straight to the point
2. they are useful - super good info!
3. you are not a millenial - seriously, experience and maturity come though, plus you have been through it, you have life and coaching experience. There are 15 year olds making advice videos...and you are just SO. MUCH. BETTER.
4. love your simple presentation, no props, its calming
5. image: you have a great voice! and you are not some unrelatable model!
So true
I also prefer 10 minute videos that go straight to the point.
Agreed 100% I wish I had found this channel months ago, powerful advice and straight to the point - what a relief! 😀
Millenials are straight shooters and not scared to call it out. There are some good ones speaking on relationships
I finally learned I sont HAVE to do anything or be the "good girl" and I'm 36 lol
So true especially no.3.
I learned the hard way that when they are gone, they are gone. End of story. Move on. Simple (even though it isn't simple).....All the crying, praying, analyzing, questioning why, waiting & hoping, stewing over details, calling your friends, rereading text messages, etc. only keeps you under the spell of a person who doesn't want to be with you or for some reason, isn't emotionally able to be with you or ANYONE. Some come back, others don't. It is truly very rare that if one does come back, it is for the right reasons. Usually, they reappear because of a temporary nostalgic, fleeting feeling to touch base with you & they really haven't changed or have "seen the light" that you are the one they let get away. As Susan said, YOU need to move on, move forward, LET GO, close that chapter in your life & open yourself up to a new & stronger YOU.
Great comment! Agree 100%!
G R Great comment and so right! They come back if they have broke up with woman they left you for or they are going through dry spell! Its very rarely coz they'want you' yep move on 😊
Yessss! I had that situation once. Now if someone disappears the door will stay closed BEHIND him!
I hear you and totally understand now.
@@monicabella7894 Your head has to tell your heart to let go & move on.
I just took an hour long walk and listened to a dozen of your videos on my headphones, then came inside and did some chores and continued to listen throughout the day to video after video. You've given me so much perspective and wisdom to my situation. My relationship ended 3 months ago and I found this very healing and helpful. Thank you!
This exact thing just happened to me. A guy that I fell for was way more enthusiastic than me, was working hard to win me over, was investing like crazy, making future plans.. and one moment it was just over. I was left devastated and utterly confused.. What you are saying is exactly what was happening to me for the next month after the breakup. I just wasn't getting any better. Until I summoned my courage and talked to him to hear his view of event and found out that he fell out of love with me and was grieving the loss already when we were still in a relationship and I didn't have a slightest clue. That made me hurt more in the moment and less afterwards. Cause I stopped asking myself all the time what was it that went wrong.
Its not one moment over u made him too hard to get at you im sure he found someone who made him work less for it
I noticed that people come back when you moved on, least expect them, and don't even care any more. It's strange how that works. Same applies to everything else in life. Also, what one wants in their life, or rather attracts, is of the same frequency you have or are putting out.
This is true and have noticed it for two years.
Never give someone a second bite of your apple.
@Jenny A I should have said I. If they chew me up and spit me out why would I want to go through that again. I'm open for discussion. Anything you would like to suggest?
@Jenny A What does that even mean?
@@coreycox2345 to be taken for granted. That is what he means
I would never do that
I love that concept love!!! That's exactly right too!
When you work on and invest in yourself you become more attractive to them.
There's definately something in this psychic energy, when my self esteem kicks in my ex messages me...its bizarre!! Your awesome Susan!x
This is very true. They do come back when you least expect it. For me, she found me 6 years later, in another city. By then, I was in a different space in my life and had moved on. She told me how shocked she was when I didn't contact her anymore but respected more for sticking it out. It was hard for me to not contact her, that's correct. I focused on finishing my degree and not getting messed up with relationships. It taught me just how strong I can be. Life is a never ending journey of learning and re-inventing yourself.
Thank you Susan for helping us. We need more of the kind of love, you give, in this society.
Did she want to reconnect or grab coffee when you two met again?
Very well said! Just focus on your life and never expect someone who left you to come back in your life because you will never move forward. The world doesn't revolve to your ex alone, you have so many opportunities to meet new people and start a good relationship.
What this video is about is simple: it’s self love. Whether you are single, in a relationship, wanting a relationship, always invest in yourself and love yourself first. That’s the only way you can be happy and give love to other people and not become someone who is an energy drain on others. That’s when people want to be around you.
It's so true. I used to think this was a cliche but it's the truth and it took me 2 years to understand it but I haven't looked back
Powerful❤️❤️❤️❤️
It’s true. But also we are made to be in unions. We will never be complete without another. Even science says loners die quicker or have more anxieties and so on. It’s human nature.
Self love is a yawning chasm of endless unfulfilled.
Narcissists focus on self love.
Loving God and others is fulfilling and only then do we sense that we are lovable.
Anyone who is going through this needs to watch this multiple times.Nothing else is even close.
The withdrawal of their energetic signature from your energetic billboard creates a vacuum so when a person you ve been obsessing about no longer receives a psychic energetic boost from you on on ongoing basis is likely to reach out to "feed" on your lost attention again.
Very interesting! It just happens to be losing interest to my ex. Somehow I feel that this is exactly what you write about.
I stopped thinking about him. Had a career boost. Stopped emailing after years of emails for 3 weeks. And the dreams are growing. Last night i had a very powerful sexual dream of him. Upsetting. When i dont want him on my mind. He is upset im not emailing him
laura b. Is he a narcissist?
@@lalocks4992 i am not sure. He was mean to me. He apologized. Maybe not.
Mine certainly was. I would have vivid dreams about him but I never understood why.
You have honestly saved my mentality, I can't believe I've went months over thinking , now I'm gonna watch ur videos to help me thank u so much
@Amy Shakalis ah crap. I... I just can't let it be a decade... But... Years HAVE passed. Sigh.
How did it go?
We can pick ourselves up from where we are now and it's still beautiful progress. Future has so much in store for us and I know we can do it 😊 I feel like cheering you on and know that there are ppl like you who not only feel your pain but share your hope in bettering yourself and your situation 🙂
But You are extremely handsome
😁😁😁
I turned down a woman who I considered an absolute 10 in looks who ghosted me after a first date. She reached out and I walked away! Yes! I walked away! I told her I didn’t appreciate being ghosted for her to then change her mind. I’ve never felt so powerful and good about myself. Never settle for less fellas!
Forgive her and have her your pride cost you being with a 10.
@@brh2222 It's largely the fact that he walked away (when most men would desperately try to chase a 10), that had her coming back to him. He showed he values himself enough to not accept being ghosted, and that he doesn't need to deal with her games when he can get better.
Sounds like the was a 10 in the looks department but a 2 in the personality department. Glad you told her where to go.
@@brh2222 True. Who knows why she did that. There could be a serious reason, and you might be wrong for not giving it another chance. First date doesn’t count.
I once read that “you are waiting on someone to come back, meaning you are waiting on someone to realize they can’t live life without you”
how crazy is it that your videos come at the most perfect time...
I love that Kelly!
I totally agree with you. When you forget him, he feels the lack of energy and looks back. Let's better focus on our own lives.
Her as well. This isn't just aimed at females
vegangsta 😂😂😂😂u know women bro
I call this the magical Ex radar. You may have no contact, no mutual friends etc... and somehow they know. There’s a disturbance in the force. When I met my husband magically the asshole I dated before him messaged me on FB. I replied I’d rather eat glass... then blocked him😄
@@thefoodwench4848 😂😂😂
This is so true they always come back right when you moved on or found someone else.
I had this happen and I really liked that guy and when he came back, I was already seeing someone else.
This is ancient wisdom. In my country, there is a saying: "vuelven cuando estás bien", "they come back when you are doing ok".
This is the best Susan Winter post yet. This is very easy to me and should be to all. We can all learn and grow from everything that happens to us. A heart breaking break up is no different. Learn and grow yourself. You will love yourself for it. Go out and move forward at all times. Take a class, learn something new, eat right, take vitamins, EXERCISE, take a walk daily. You will feel great and time will help to heal all that once seemed unbearable. Trust in yourself. You are not ignoring them to get them back, you are doing it to get you back.
Spot on true. I waited and hoped for years on an ex who had lost interest. The very day she found out I was moving out of state she insisted that she come over and speak to me. The thought of my not being close by knocked her down from that high place my devotion had elevated her to.
Bang On Susan
We must shift our energy 👌
They feel us unplug our energy from them and want it back,
it’s the energy they miss 😐
Not necessarily US
There is a BIG difference
It depends. If there is love, they would miss you too.
A lot of this is just common sense, reality, if people want to ditch you or play mind games, tell them to evaporate.
Dont forget, sometimes people have other personal issues going on within themselves or their life, which is why they act this way, they lure you in then dissappear.
When this happens, cry, get the frustration and hurt out, take up an activity, focus on your wellbeing and get on with your life.
Simple logical thing to do. 😉
If they come back.....they come back, doesn't mean you have to take them back!! if they dont, their lose not yours...Love Yourself ❤
Thank you so much god bless u i truley needed to hear those words so Badly 😞❤ 4 years gone.. she left for someone else after i gave her Everything!
@@youngtylerofficial8501 Remember Daniel, for every bad thing a person does to you, has mistreated you, They get their good serving at some stage later, when they least expect it.
When situations go wrong or don't go according to plan with them, its a sign from above (karmic force).
Nobody is immune to it!
It may happen 1 month, 1year, or 10 yrs from now. Just know that what you do to others and how you treat them whether it be you doing it to someone else or someone doing it to you, be prepared for the consequences.
You will find happiness again, that I can assure you!!
Believe me, one day in her thoughts, she will ponder about you, but realise its too late!!
This will only happen when things are not going well in her current relationship. It happens all the time, people reflect back on whom they mistreated and deserted for someone else. That's when the, 'I should" comes into play.
Should've stayed with so and so, should've called, should not have hurt them etc...
Their problem now!!! 🙂
@@LilliR4116 awwwwww thank u so much i truley appreciate it .. u have no idea ive been in pain and suffering 😞 so horribly hating myself.. Telling myself it was all my fault and blaming everything on me im so Glad and blessed i got to hear that tonight .. seriously it means so much god bless you! Your amazing
@@youngtylerofficial8501 The worst thing a person can do after a break up is turn it inward.
They start blaming themselves, All sorts of feelings and emotions creep up and we start to analyze every word been said.
We are are our worst critics and devalue ourselves to the core.
This is not true!!
You are worth everything to your friends and family, even the almighty above.
Someday, someone will love you deeply and appreciate you in the same way.
When these circumstances happen, its not your fault!
It's the person who left you for someone else, because in their mind, they believe they're getting a better deal. Quite frankly, most times its the opposite. It only works in their favour if you're not treating them with respect or doing the right thing by them. However, if you are doing right by them, its a problem they have NOT you!!!
Look at it this way, if she was truly invested and really loved you, her eyes would not wonder unless she is after someone with something specific to offer and in that case she will flee.
(this applies to men as well).
This only means she is a user because these type of characters are not happy and not grateful because they are UNHAPPY within themselves, so they continue searching for someone to fill that void. What happens when that void gets filled? They get bored again!!
A confident, happy individual knows what they want and doesn't waste time at the expense of hurting others to get satisfaction.
Look, some people just fall out of love....whats meant to be will be, just keep moving and give yourself and another newcomer a chance. You'll be surprised how love and fate works itself out, we just don't see it!
GOD does.
Wishing you much joy and love in your relationship!!! May your heart's desire be fulfilled. 🙂
@@LilliR4116 thank u SO MUCH i respect and take into consideration with everything that you tell me .. truley appreciate it and Id LOVE to read more!
You are an amazing lady Susan.
My parents died over 30 years ago when I was a child. It's people like you who give me hope. Love listening to you. x
Oh you wonderful woman! How beautiful. Thank you.
You are so insightful
Jesus Christ is your hope not this lady
@@thelmathomas3437 indeed
What a humble lovely thing to say and write x I got much from your depth of person thank you 🙏 I prey you find and get happiness you deserve it with your energetically humble beautiful words 👌🌈
Your exactly right - and we know this, but when faced with extreme pain and despair, we tend to forget...thanks for the reminder!
I’ve been watching hundreds of videos on TH-cam about dealing with this. You’re the first one that actually made it click in my head.
Thank you :)
when we´re moving on and they coming back, we´re done with them. This might be a fear and prevent us form letting go.
even if we are over them and when they come back we should immediately cut them off otherwise we could fall into it again
Omg Susan you are dead on!!! When they return you probably won’t be that interested anymore ha! ha! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Yes, that too!
So true...
Wow Sooooo true. Happened to me this week! Just not the same! Free!!
😁😁😁👍👍👍
No matter what the reason is for them leaving you, they would've left in any case or left already emotionally.
If they really loved you, they would've stayed.
Our lifes are forever changed by having that person stay, but letting them go opens the door to so much more on a personal level, and the outcome of your evolving is an unexplainable inner peace.
Hey.. I found you while dealing with a break up myself and I just wanted to tell you thank you. You are a special person for being so open and understanding towards us all. You are helping me cope in more ways than one. Thank you for sharing you're kind and caring words.
I can't say thank you enough to you for these videos. I struggle with such insane anxiety when it comes to change in any form, but especially changes in relationships. Listening to these videos before bed calm me right down and bring me back to Earth. Lots of love!!!!
You're too sweet! Thank you for watching.
this is so very true. putting your energy back on yourself eases off the pressure on your ex and allows you to continue to grow and evolve without them at this time
Let them go completely... And move on
“Where you was fractured bc that place didn’t work.” Amazingly said - exactly what I needed to hear.
You are full of love and humanity unlike other advisors talking bad about the exes I really respect this in you
The best way to get their attention is to remove yours.
I've been hearing different people say almost the exact same thing, only a bit more crudely, that when you stop giving a s**t, they'll come back.
aliacoo well said! Simple and to the point! Love it. I read in a relationship
book years and years ago. Treat em like sh#%* and they’ll keep coming back, I really think it’s true, and where I made my big mistake, I gave it all.
if that’s so i will cut the cord 🤫
@@cindylcarrasco8889 I gave it my all, too. I guess we were wrong with being good people!
aliacoo you were not equally yoked with that individual. We have to take longer and we have to make more periodic assessments of our relationships.....
@@ladydoc7221 longer than twelve years? Lol
Neediness equals fear. Fear is not love. This is why the energy of neediness is repelling to some people which can make them feel turned off and leave you. The best thing to do is work on your fears of neediness, become confident and then if the confident you is coming from an authentic place in your heart, your energy is much more attractive and magnetic because you are no longer pulling or pushing on there energy to fill your void. Even if you do withdraw your needy energy is still there. Work on yourself or find someone who is super needy like yourself. Complete yourself, pop the fantasy bubble, practice acceptance and you will be stronger in life. It wont matter if you have someone or not. Peace and inner love!
Susan this video is a year old however I’ve just watched it and wow it’s like I was supposed to watch it as I’m right there right now.
Thank you so much x
Wow! I'm so glad to have found this channel of yours. You have a great way of saying things clearly and on subjects we need help with. Keep up the great work.😊
This was very helpful. I wanted my ex back, but then I got to thinking and had time to reflect on it. And he treated me horribly after the breakup. I do not want to go back to that at all, Im moving on. I have been fixated these past few weeks on wanting to get him back. But screw that. Im done completely. If you are going through a breakup. I know its tough and you are hurting but you will hurt even more being with someone who doesnt value your needs and wants. Your better off single until someone else comes along.
If they come back to easily he/she will disrespect you over time.
Thank you so much for sharing this ! It helps 🤗
@John Rencheck babe get a tinder or a bumble. It's time to start searching if it's been that long and you haven't found anyone organically
Thank you so much. Kinda needed this right now.. I still love him very much but after he broke up with me he changed to a different and toxic person, provoking me, making me jealous by texting with other women from Tinder after just 2 weeks of breakup and he’s cold and doesn’t know what he wants, If he still wants me or not. I fought for him the last 3 weeks but I’m exhausted now, I‘m destroying myself with this. I decided to stop and not give him this power over me.
SO TRUE. I needed this!!
...at least we become attractive to NEW partners...
Not only did you just exactly sum up what had been troubling me for weeks but you did it in a way that made me feel like you've been watching me trouble myself with their thoughts and gave me an accurate solution for it. I'm so thankful to you for this!
Edit: they're back guys. It's true.
Susan, your words are so clear, honest and optimistic. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and helping people to move on.
Thank you so much!
AMAZING and true. I do this thing to get over my obsession. I close my eyes and imagian him and i tell him all that is on my mind. Tell him thank you for what you have been in my life and that i am saying goodbye now. I imagine cutting the cords of our chakras and releasing him. It may take a few times but continue to do so untill you feel its over. Its hard but we deserve to be loved for real. And not need to obsses and suffer and work so hard to pull them inn. If thay don't want us we need to let go and also of our ego that keeps wanting to win...no we deserve better. Good luck 💝
Usually they come back. If you go completely no contact and focus on yourself. But it doesnt work. Once you break a relationship it will never be like it used to be. This is the hard part. Accepting that they may even come back, but it wont work even if they do. If they see the light and work on the relationship it might even work, but you will always have the fear in the back of your mind that they may leave you again.
so it be.. peace
😔
Wise words I agree
BS. Unless there was cheating or physical abuse involved
Actually now that I think about it if someone has left you more than 2 times do yourself a favor and never even attempt to go back again.
More than 70 days into NC today...he ghosted me, ignored me and I found out he was talking to other woman behind my back. It is still horrible, he has no caracter and had 0 remorse after I said goodbye. I lost weight, hair, sleep...I've been crying and feeling lonely these days, my whole body hurts, I'm thin and feeling tired. We used to talk EVERYDAY and now the days are so empty. I planned my future with him, I shared a lot...photos, videos, stories, issues...he shared his issues and I thought I was mending his heart. Gosh...he was so disrespectful, it took me a while to notice his signals. He made me part of his world and then left me for somebody else.
I'm not waiting for him to return, but I hope karma does its job.
Ηow are u today??😌
This is the best piece of post-breakup advice that I have come across on the internet. Thank you so much, Susan.
So on point. If it was meant to be they will come back. But you gotta live for you. And if at some point they want to be apart of it then good. If not, their lost. They will never know your full love but some other smarter person will.
dierjran Great way to sum it all up!
People that push you away have internal major issues. Fesr of commitment and being hurt or rejected usually from a prior past relationship or upbringing. YOU didn't do anything wrong to cause this. You shouldn't have to pull back and do nothing to make someone engaged towards you. They need healing and from my opinion, this has to come from God and inner work that most choose not to do. This would obviously be very painful for them. They rather just blame the other person and take the easy way out.
Same agree💯
Kelly what do you mean?
I agree. Hurt people hurt people. People usually push away out of fear.
And then some people are very self-centered self-seeking Narcs who think nothing of using you up and moving on to a new relationship or a more exciting person or experience. Cold and Ugly truth I know. BUT....Truth, none the less. I guess it's easier to think of the person who dumped you as a poor hurting, suffering soul. Truth is,...you probably Couldn't be further from the truth!!
antbri56 well said and I agree... so sad this man I met let an amazing thing (me) slip away because he was hurt in the past... a total shame!
“…and even if it doesn’t happen, it’s what you have to do anyway.” This has stuck with me for YEARS.
It does make sense and I agree 100%. I moved forward and putting myself FIRST.....Thank you for the confirmation.
Never EVER take someone back who abandons you. Unless you did something bad to cause it, ie having an affair or being physically abusive, then you don't want them anymore. Even if you "weren't the person they married" ask yourself why? Why did you devolve? Most likely THEY had something to do with it. Yeah it was your fault for allowing them to become the center and focus of your life so that you lost who YOU were and therefore became a very uninteresting person. Regardless, they've just proven they will bail on you when things get bad and you need them most. That is NO kind of relationship you want to be involved in.
Work on yourself, figure out why you changed, redevelop who you are including hobbies and passions in life. Get an adventure to live and then a quality person will come into your life. If THEY come back, it's a trap, don't fall for it. Move on to better things. The only reason they came back is they realized they aren't as valuable in the marketplace as they thought. If no one else of quality wants them, why should you?
Great message
But that’s like telling any single person not to date them because “if no one of quality wants them why should you” it’s not fair. Maybe that person is choosing not to date certain ppl
@ben bieber
You misunderstood his point. He is saying, if a dumper ever comes back, then it's because they realized there not the catch they thought they were. They thought they could do better than you so they left. Basically he is saying if they left you once they could leave you again. Never take an ex back who left you.
Yes!!!
Ppl make mistakes and sometimes women “fake” break up to test to see if the guy really gives a crap or not. If the women left for another guy yes then I agree not to take that person back.
I've been there, more than once. Was cheated on and used like a doormat. As long as you are trying to get them back, they are going to take you for granted, and feel like they can do whatever they want, and you'll still be there waiting for them. They will string you along, to keep you perusing. But as soon as you start concentrating on yourself, dating new people, all of a sudden, they cant live without you !
This got me Into reading about psychology and relationships. Read up on persuer/ distancer relationships.
Thaankyou for this ❤
@MK Duke cos emotions don't have a on/off switch. It usually goes away with time
I've just been lied to, he make me feel very special and then suddenly he left me hanging, waiting, and hoping. Thank you, I will try to move on.
Yes, but it’s only like that on/off if there is no true love.
My ex came back after 10 years!!! That's right, starting apologising for what she did to me, started sending me selfies and wanting to meet up. I accepted her appology and that was it. I really didn't give a crap about seeing her again lol.
I know o f a man how help me gat my ex back.....
Whxapp him
I hope she wised up and learns to rely on God
10 years??? 😅
If someone walks away out of the blue it's about ego & control. Like a trophy you have been admired, won, devalued & discarded to sit on the shelf, while the ego pursues another trophy which they will do the same too. Getting off the shelf threatens their ego, their perceived ownership of you that you are theirs to toy with. They check back in once the new ego supply wasn't as long serving as yours &/or their old ego supply is in danger of being out of their perceived ownership. You were dealing with an npd, you will feel lost, confused & drained after their out of the blue discard. They are vampires that fed off you & left you empty, it was always about them & never you or the both of you. When they return it's the same it's about them, you have recovered & they can feed again. Don't let them return, they haven't seen the light , go find an equal who gives equally.
I agree!
Powerful love it.
Not really. They realized that God is better and God lead them away.
Very true… I’m about halfway through all this … broken and drained… but come to realise I was being used..time to truly move on .. just forget em …
@@deantaylor1512 it's horrible at first but as the days go by u will feel liberated... look forward to that, u will get there !