To me that’s what causes the most intense fear is watching how other people throw people away without any thought about valuing other people in society. Everything’s always better somewhere else and we loose appreciation for the people we have right here in our lives who love us.
People who act like that eventually run right into the consequences of their own behaviour, which are the opposite feelings they are chasing after. They are trying to meet their own needs by using other people, instead of loving themselves and others.
im hurting right now, i have an anxious attachment style and he was a dismissive avoidant, WORST combo..i get close, he panics and shuts it down, steps back....2 yrs of this shit, i ended it 18 days ago. im hurting, its a deep heart pain.
This was more helpful than the chunk of money I’ve put into therapy and leaves me feeling lighter, safer and more in tune with myself and the world around me. Wow. Thank you so much.
If “love” is wanting other people and yourself to feel safe, secure, accepted, understood and appreciated, and “loving” is to act in a way that you and the others feel secure, appreciated, accepted, understood and safe, then you are loving them when you leave them of whatever reason. You need to leave if you find that they don’t feel safe with you, and you need to leave if you don’t feel safe with them - unless of course you can work on your love together for a deeper connection. Chasing, pleading, begging, manipulating, threatening and bread crumbing someone is not love imho; it’s more like using someone with the goal of releasing yourself from your own anxiety, while creating anxiety in them as well.
I've been listening 2 years to you and I feel blessed as your advise helped me through break ups and preventing of getting played. But this video is one of the best, profound teachings on self mastery! Thank you so much Alex for giving to us unconditionally. Bless your beautiful soul❤
Love how you teach Buddhist principles in meditation. I’m a Buddhist by birth and I practice the spiritual side of it Found your content so profound and practical
I can detach easily but I think it’s because I grew up without my birth parents. The hardest thing I’ve endured was my teen son drowning. But ending romantic relationships and/or friendships don’t rock my world.
I’ve watched many videos about this topic but no one explains it like you do. It’s like they are all copying eachother but you do your own thing. Next level. I appreciate you and the work you put in your videos
"when someone tries to control you it means they can't control their own emotions. Because your actions control their emotions." This is quite accurate! I had a narcissistic mother who did this with me. As a result, it's the number 1 deal breaker for me in dating. The first sign of attempting to control me, I have to walk away regardless of how strong my feelings are.
This socie try encourages to date around and try people out. That is just not for me. I never try anyone out, if I love someone I’m going to love them all the way or not at all. That’s who I am. I don’t believe in doing anything without a purpose and I don’t believe in dating around.
We are not connected with ourselves thus people feel we not connected to them as they are, but we use them as object of our self esteem. And as a result they don't like us. You're genius, Dalexis! Thanks a lot ❤
Idk if that’s the way forward though. You absolutely can care about others, and you should, but don’t confuse caring with people pleasing. “Caring” is on the surface level acting in a predictable way among strangers so they feel safe, while on a deeper level finding out what someone else’s needs are so you can decide whether you have the capacity to meet them or not. If you can’t, then you care by making room for someone else who can.
Yep! That's why experiencing heartbreak a couple of times can be helpful. Being vulnerable with people is important, but having gone through it before makes it easier to handle when things end.
I disagree . Intense passion isn’t always a bad thing and people throw other people away like old pairs of shoes. That to me will never be true love to me. I’d never love someone who is not afraid to lose me and people with intense passion through pain are usually the ones who change the world. Most world celebrities or inventors were really passionate about what they believed in. They made changes. I’d love is conditional from anyone then I don’t want it and you can still love someone unconditionally without allowing someone to disrespect you.
Mind-boggling content ❤. Love from India ❤. I have been doing Vipassana for 8 years now, and meditation has brought that detachment thing in me. It's good you practice everyday. If you continue practising Vipassana, the sky is the limit.
I can’t even put into words the amount of education I’ve received from this video. It’s in my head but I can describe it. I’m really trying to tap into myself. When you said not feeling your feet on the ground. That hit me like a ton of bricks. My mind is blown Father Alex. You have so much knowledge
Wow, this makes so much sense and explains why people who suffer from trauma can resort to self harm, to get out of their heads and feel something in their body.
I love the points you made, however, when you’re with the wrong person or putting your energy into the wrong person, it’s much harder to stay within self because love requires you sacrificing your emotional self because you are tied to them in some way. If we were all mindful human beings then this would work but because we have that (human) side of us filled with emotions (fear, anxiety,etc) even if we meditate, if that other person isn’t on the same level, this approach will NOT work.
I've been trying to have healthier relationships and found your site. Sooo glad you are doing your thing. You explain everything so well. You are helping me to understand what and why it makes a healthy relationship 💓 Much love to you ❤️
Thank you for helping me bring awareness back to my body. I appreciate this so much, I needed this today. For a long time knew I was numb in certain places in my body but didn’t know how to point it out. Thank you.
Can this apply to our DISRESPECTFUL teens😂. My teen knows how much I love them but it's as if they use it against me and tries to hurt me purposely. It's starting to feel like I should stop trying so hard and let them go in a way that allows them to realize how great a mom I've been and should be appreciated.
I didn't finish listening to your videos but I already understand what you trying to inform us with Simply put *to much of everything we give out to our pathners could drive them away so we should limit it.
I have realized father Alex video titles never do justice to the actual content so now I just watch everything 😂 like I've no interest in knowing what happens to the guy when I pull away but I do want to hear what you're talking now
I don't know if this is entirely true. I used to not be able to hide my fear & everyone treated me like dirt. Now that I pretend to be confident, people treat me like I'm better than them.
I can do all of this in my waking life, but dreams still plague me. I can't control my subconscious, night after night I still have dreams that play out a reality that will never happen.
Thank you so much, this was the best advice i have gotten in a really long time! ❤ i have always wondered how sometimes i'm a magnet, especially in love... and how sometimes it seems i literally push people away without wanting to. ~ that just made soo much sense, thank you!! ✨️💎
This man is literally changing my life.
Every last one of us
Truth
Mine too!
I agree. Father Alex is truly amazing.
Just making you more into a manipulative person who will be humbled eventually and then the cold heart will begin❤
*A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other.*
This is so true
"Comparison strips you of your individuality"
- Father Alex
Now this should be on a big poster!
please don't keep comparing me to others...you won't find me.
To me that’s what causes the most intense fear is watching how other people throw people away without any thought about valuing other people in society. Everything’s always better somewhere else and we loose appreciation for the people we have right here in our lives who love us.
My fear too
@@wilted_rose510 Really! Yes
Yup and social media is making the comparisons so much easier.
People who act like that eventually run right into the consequences of their own behaviour, which are the opposite feelings they are chasing after. They are trying to meet their own needs by using other people, instead of loving themselves and others.
😊@@wilted_rose510
im hurting right now, i have an anxious attachment style and he was a dismissive avoidant, WORST combo..i get close, he panics and shuts it down, steps back....2 yrs of this shit, i ended it 18 days ago. im hurting, its a deep heart pain.
You will feel better soon. Time heals.
Moving forward you have to date someone that leans towards your attachment style...
Man I'm going through the same thing, you aren't alone.
its sooo rough. @@TheDealer666
I feel this to my core
This was more helpful than the chunk of money I’ve put into therapy and leaves me feeling lighter, safer and more in tune with myself and the world around me. Wow. Thank you so much.
Once we Stop needing and start wanting, it all changes.
This is the tide that I am trying to turn.
If “love” is wanting other people and yourself to feel safe, secure, accepted, understood and appreciated, and “loving” is to act in a way that you and the others feel secure, appreciated, accepted, understood and safe, then you are loving them when you leave them of whatever reason. You need to leave if you find that they don’t feel safe with you, and you need to leave if you don’t feel safe with them - unless of course you can work on your love together for a deeper connection.
Chasing, pleading, begging, manipulating, threatening and bread crumbing someone is not love imho; it’s more like using someone with the goal of releasing yourself from your own anxiety, while creating anxiety in them as well.
it took me such a long time to get to this level. it’s really takes a lot of self development
I've been listening 2 years to you and I feel blessed as your advise helped me through break ups and preventing of getting played.
But this video is one of the best, profound teachings on self mastery! Thank you so much Alex for giving to us unconditionally. Bless your beautiful soul❤
Love how you teach Buddhist principles in meditation. I’m a Buddhist by birth and I practice the spiritual side of it Found your content so profound and practical
I can detach easily but I think it’s because I grew up without my birth parents. The hardest thing I’ve endured was my teen son drowning. But ending romantic relationships and/or friendships don’t rock my world.
i am sorry for your son..
Me too. No parent not problem detaching... Sorry for your loss
❤.
😢
I’ve watched many videos about this topic but no one explains it like you do. It’s like they are all copying eachother but you do your own thing. Next level. I appreciate you and the work you put in your videos
Maybe it takes a while to get over someone bc you love very deeply. Not needy, some people love big ❤
Your knowledge is getting so HIGH, above any other youtube manipulation videos, cause you really explain whats behind every act. congratulations!
That's like Will Smith pretending not to be bothered by Jada's "entanglement"
All I know is you better not
close the channel……🦋
"when someone tries to control you it means they can't control their own emotions. Because your actions control their emotions." This is quite accurate! I had a narcissistic mother who did this with me. As a result, it's the number 1 deal breaker for me in dating. The first sign of attempting to control me, I have to walk away regardless of how strong my feelings are.
This socie try encourages to date around and try people out. That is just not for me. I never try anyone out, if I love someone I’m going to love them all the way or not at all. That’s who I am. I don’t believe in doing anything without a purpose and I don’t believe in dating around.
We are not connected with ourselves thus people feel we not connected to them as they are, but we use them as object of our self esteem. And as a result they don't like us. You're genius, Dalexis! Thanks a lot ❤
Why they always come back when you don’t give a fuck no more?
Because they can’t get someone better than who they had
Stop the cap. Ppl just hate rejection. @@mar9087.
That's something that happens!I trying to understand why!
Exactly!!
People are self interested. They need someone to care about them. It has nothing to do with how they feel about you
You’ve helped me so much with my current situation. Thank you for being so dedicated to sharing your knowledge with us!
I think we all feel insecure.....and that's OK. Hard to be vulnerable with someone.
Please teach us how to never start caring in the first place, its always à waste of time.
Idk if that’s the way forward though. You absolutely can care about others, and you should, but don’t confuse caring with people pleasing. “Caring” is on the surface level acting in a predictable way among strangers so they feel safe, while on a deeper level finding out what someone else’s needs are so you can decide whether you have the capacity to meet them or not. If you can’t, then you care by making room for someone else who can.
Just avoid men all together 😂
@@abenigold6219 The best recipe to end up unprepared and get pregnant on your first next encourter.
That is the truth
@@LAbidjanaiseBlogMode225what?
“Just make sure that the source of your desire doesn’t come from a disconnection within yourself.”
A whole word. This is VERY important!
This is hard bc you need to be vulnerable to see if it’s your person but then the minute your vulnerable you get screwed
Yep! That's why experiencing heartbreak a couple of times can be helpful. Being vulnerable with people is important, but having gone through it before makes it easier to handle when things end.
Everytime
I disagree . Intense passion isn’t always a bad thing and people throw other people away like old pairs of shoes. That to me will never be true love to me. I’d never love someone who is not afraid to lose me and people with intense passion through pain are usually the ones who change the world. Most world celebrities or inventors were really passionate about what they believed in. They made changes. I’d love is conditional from anyone then I don’t want it and you can still love someone unconditionally without allowing someone to disrespect you.
You out here healing ❤️🩹 the collective. Bless your soul
I would just buy your course at this point to support you. Because you do a lot for us , plus you are funny 💚
Mind-boggling content ❤. Love from India ❤. I have been doing Vipassana for 8 years now, and meditation has brought that detachment thing in me. It's good you practice everyday. If you continue practising Vipassana, the sky is the limit.
I can’t even put into words the amount of education I’ve received from this video. It’s in my head but I can describe it. I’m really trying to tap into myself. When you said not feeling your feet on the ground. That hit me like a ton of bricks. My mind is blown Father Alex. You have so much knowledge
Wow, this makes so much sense and explains why people who suffer from trauma can resort to self harm, to get out of their heads and feel something in their body.
The amount of knowledge dropped in this 30 min video…. Thank you 🙏🏾 ❤
I love the points you made, however, when you’re with the wrong person or putting your energy into the wrong person, it’s much harder to stay within self because love requires you sacrificing your emotional self because you are tied to them in some way.
If we were all mindful human beings then this would work but because we have that (human) side of us filled with emotions (fear, anxiety,etc) even if we meditate, if that other person isn’t on the same level, this approach will NOT work.
Low vibrational vs high vibrational
@@xstinalifecoach
Spot on
You know how I feel about finding your channel? Better late than never ❤ thank you so much
You are a freaking genius man! Only if more people understood this and practiced meditation, to heal themselves and project less onto others.
very true. Truly liberating when you get to that point of no selfconsciousness…😊
You are so consistent too!
I've been trying to have healthier relationships and found your site. Sooo glad you are doing your thing. You explain everything so well. You are helping me to understand what and why it makes a healthy relationship 💓 Much love to you ❤️
I need to call To Thank you! Your intellect put many thoughts into words.
I love your reaction videos, you are so entertaining to listen to while I work. I just love your voice and you are so talented and smart
and if i were Father Alex, i'd be head over heals at this point 😀 You're beautiful
...and no, i'm not into women ; )
Professional body massage is very helpful when there is body mind disconnection .
As long as it’s not with happy endings
This is what we call CONTENT
keep going
Love from India ❤
Thank you for this. It is tangible and I can actually do this. Feel calmer already ❤
THANK YOU ALEX FOR TEACHING ❤
He is THE MAN! ❤❤❤❤❤
I know my people when I see them. 🇩🇴❤
The way you grabbed the mic 🎤 and said "Holidaaaay Special" lol haha 😂❤💯
Thank you for helping me bring awareness back to my body. I appreciate this so much, I needed this today. For a long time knew I was numb in certain places in my body but didn’t know how to point it out. Thank you.
I need to find one of those retreats because I am numb everywhere, I literally cannot feel any part of myself
“A piece of sh*t cologne” 😂😂
I think this is the best video you have ever made.
I know this is unrelated to the video content but I love Scarlet O’Hara!
This video just changed my life
wow, you are so gifted and wise beyond anyone else I've listened to -- I am hooked. thank you so much
This information is pure gold!!!!
The music you are playing is one of my favorite pieces 🥰. 🎶 Satie - Gymnopédie … I love the synchronicity ✨
Can this apply to our DISRESPECTFUL teens😂. My teen knows how much I love them but it's as if they use it against me and tries to hurt me purposely. It's starting to feel like I should stop trying so hard and let them go in a way that allows them to realize how great a mom I've been and should be appreciated.
Yes it does. Trust me I'm a mom too
13:23 I absolutely love when you get in your bag! I need to watch this part daily.
Alex you're flowing in this video
I usually only watch one or 2 channels for my relationship advice, but I’m really grateful for your perspective & that I’ve found this channel
Alex...You're the TRUTH!!! 💯 🙌🏽✨✨✨
He blocked me when he said that he loved me. I’m not going to do anything
Maybe one of your best videos yet Alex.
Intense desire intense pain
So true !!
I would like to see you critiquing art now that I think about it.
lol
Oh that'd be entertaining
you want something until you get it then you don’t want it. wow you’re so intense 😮
Excellent!! Thank you
Good analogy with the thread and needle!
Yet another amazing video by our favourite Father Alex.
High intentions vs low attachments I need to remember this for my next date as I literally jinxed a recent one because of this high attachments😮
How long have I been a fan of yours?🤔
Feels like 15+ years thank you 🙏🏼 ❤
Wow I am so blessed to have found this ❤
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with us
I didn't finish listening to your videos but I already understand what you trying to inform us with
Simply put *to much of everything we give out to our pathners could drive them away so we should limit it.
Omggg! I’m from DR 🇩🇴 too, lov ya
Omg really. I've always thought like that I was so aware the only difference is I grew up in northern ireland.
Thank you Father Alex.
Your illustrations are kinda brilliant, Alex.
Not care😂 with whom you love 😂impossible
It felt like a big bro talking to me
That poem!!!!!!! ❤❤❤
I have realized father Alex video titles never do justice to the actual content so now I just watch everything 😂 like I've no interest in knowing what happens to the guy when I pull away but I do want to hear what you're talking now
That's actually very true 😂😂😂
I’m screaminggggg at the titan from AOT @16:39 😂😂😂
He's a shy Titan. He's cute 🥰
lol
I don't know if this is entirely true. I used to not be able to hide my fear & everyone treated me like dirt. Now that I pretend to be confident, people treat me like I'm better than them.
The best dating couch been 5yeats watching your videos
i don''t know if i'm just super high but i think this was the most helpful thing i've watched all year
😂
Omg I love your accent. I think it's dreamy ❤
Father Alex - you’re the best ❤ thank you
I appreciate you so much Alex🫶🏽
I can do all of this in my waking life, but dreams still plague me. I can't control my subconscious, night after night I still have dreams that play out a reality that will never happen.
Thank you. I really did enjoy this. And I’m going to do body scans.
How do you actually stop caring?
I love your accent it actually made me want to watch your video more
Scanning and it's my temples eyes and ears like a line through it and I feel tinnitus like an imbalance 😮
Dalexi, you’re the older brother I need ❤ thanks for all you’re advices 🎉
oh lord Alex is soooo CUTE .. "and, dont forget we are having a holiday special". lol
You are an amazing soul!! Thank you
Thank you so much, this was the best advice i have gotten in a really long time! ❤ i have always wondered how sometimes i'm a magnet, especially in love... and how sometimes it seems i literally push people away without wanting to. ~ that just made soo much sense, thank you!! ✨️💎
I love this!! Thank you for the message ❤ 🙏