Exactly. Even if it’s a member of your family. They may get loud and perturbed when you walk away but it’s good because they show their ass to everyone, even the person in the mirror.
When I started to realise how much I valued my peace, I lost any desire to argue with any woman. I just say when she’s ready to talk things out in an adult way, we will. I refuse to be drawn into a slanging match. Did WAY too much of that in my younger years when I was married. Learned my lesson.
“Even if you win the arguement you’re still gonna lose” I actually peeped that I used to debate about a lot and learned the hard way there is no point in arguing with women whatsoever.
Gotta take your family jewels back guys. Be that mysterious guy. Do your own thing. Be able to live with, and love yourself, alone.. first, and foremost.
If I understand the philosophy correctly: Initial meeting/dating: keep some mystery and have emotional self-control Relationship: keep centered, open up, and let bring up where things are headed Marriage: keep the romance alive, maintain yourself
I don't know if that's true. I just know women love talking about just about anything and some women like deep chats whereby they get to know your thoughts and opinions, usually women want a deep relationship with somebody and it's that connection with you she'll want to have to progress forward because when a woman is interested in you she'll want to know what you think, why you think the way you do and she'll just want to talk to you to know how insightful you are, what interesting things you have to say, any stories. Anything she can relate to - if you give her nothing she'll be disappointed that she thought she could have a real relationship out of - like Corey says if the woman is decent and a woman who won't ultimately put up with jerks jerking her about. If you show yourself not to be serious and you don't have these talks to connect to her she'll easily get fed up, think there's no depth to you and your not interesting and tell you it's not working out because it's easier to walk out of a relationship that hasn't got past the connection phase. It's a lot harder to after that. This is why she's hugging the man telling him she does love him - her feelings are in turmoil not quite ready to let him go because she has connected to him she's formed that with him so she's finding it a lot harder to just walk.
I lost a 30 year marriage, and this issue (of many) was one of the nails in the coffin. I now make an effort with my current GF to not argue, but to just listen and ask questions, and for the last 4 years now things have been much easier, so Coach is entirely right on this one. I still work with my ex, and have learned to just let her rant, but walk away when she works herself up into a lather. That drama has also gone down in frequency since then.
I just tell them to shut the fuck up and to stay in a woman’s place. Usually gets them horny. I can’t stand a babbling woman and a grown ass man with nuts wouldn’t put up with it either.
Women dont argue. Women express. You literally cannot argue with a woman because women have no idea what an actual argument is (most people in general, dont). Arguments are a healthy form of communication. Arguments are a formal form of communication. Arguments allow us to learn things from a different perspective and challenge our own perspectives. What is being described is not an argument. Arguments have rules. You have to state a premise. You have to follow logic, deduction, induction, facts, evidence, epistemology, etc... Women are not going to do this with you. When you realize that you literally cannot argue with a woman, you wont even try. So its not so much "dont argue with a woman" its more just realize that women cannot argue, will not argue, and if they even get a hint or a whiff of legit argument, they will freak the fuck out.
@@RebelSyntax i had a 6 years relationship with one lawyer and dated some others and i can say that not even them can use logic on a relationship discussion lol
@@pedrolopes1564 ya, you gave it your best shot. I dont blame you for logically thinking that a lawyer would appreciate a legit argument on something as important as her S.O. but thats the best chance. Failing that, its just completely pointless.
@@pedrolopes1564 Yup I have seen highly educated professional women still have this problem. Women are just devoid of logic, reasoning etc. They operate on emotions and feelings.
Cool, just got my assignment for the day!!! Still working on not arguing but this video definitely gives me the boost I need to begin again with my wife of 16 years!
This is great advice. And I know as men we have to step our game up, but it seems unfair, the amount of emotional labor we have to do to make her feel heard and loved. Maybe that’s why he says, as long as she’s mature and not crazy.
It is crazy and unfair, how we gotta step our "game" up, all the emotional labor, loops, and holes we gotta jump through for basic things like communication. The problem is its a game and it shouldn't be. Rather than us playing their game they should be the ones to do better and fix themselves.
I’m learning that women just want you to listen. Listen and not try to immediately fix or explain. Listen, hear her, and if there is an issue fix it with your actions.
Women need to be heard and understood. At all times when you're dating and in a relationship. When they feel that way, your relationship will run much smoother along with courting them properly. 👌🏾
I wish men realised this. Ignoring us, criticising us, being nasty and not wanting to listen causes us to feel uncared for and we then feel he is unsafe to be around. It is still a scary world out there for some of us as women like me are easily hurt if we are emotionally sensitive, affectionate and caring. Some men take it personally when we want to talk and they refuse to.
In the early 1990s (when I was in my mid-20s) I worked in an office. My immediate boss was a woman, and she thought I had arrived at work late even though I hadn't. I tried to argue my case but she wouldn't have it. In the end she said, "I'm not going to argue with you." I didn't get into any trouble but I was pissed off that she wouldn't believe me. One of my co-workers was a guy in his 50s, and he said to me quite seriously, "Don't you know there's no point in arguing with a woman?"
Coach Corey, I really like your videos …I’m a newcomer and I haven’t read any of your books yet. This insight is very relevant for today’s time as we live in a selfish world. Fortunately, we can choose who we spend time with and there are plenty of amazing people left in Los Angeles! ( Shocking 🤪 ) From A woman’s perspective, I do agree with you that it’s comforting when your man agrees with you “ just because “ especially with busy lives today. Esther Perrel had it correct when she said that today we expect our partners to be our “ everything “ . When before we lived in a more community based environment. We can’t expect our partners to be our life coach , lover , handyman , chef , personal assistant, gym trainer , and financial provider . That’s a Venti order ! At some point it’s so much easier to hear the tone and frustration in a what a person is saying instead of the content and say “ don’t worry babe , I got you. And everything is going to be fine “ this is one example of listening to our partners. Now at the same time, I really appreciate the fact that my fiancée can express to me when he is upset with me and we can work out a solution instead of seeking problems. I love that so much about him ! Although I look at him as the leader in our potential family , I appreciate his honesty and willingness to bring things to the table in a non confrontational way . And as often as I can I do the same. And when we are done we laugh 😂 our asses off. So in a nutshell …. I feel very blessed 😇
I learned a looong time ago to never argue with a woman, just remove yourself until you can both communicate like adults. If she loses her sh*t because you don't want to argue with her...there's your sign fellas, lol. Consider that a dodged bullet, and move on.
Women who don't understand men tend to try and project their emotions onto him as a way of showing him her love believe it or not. I used to talk to women I knew who did this and most of the time they would not only continue this uncomfortable behavior but double down. You see they see your complaint of having an uncomfortable emotion as a way of saying "I'm not feeling your love." So instead of stopping or calming down they actually do the action (neediness) more.
"just remove yourself until you can both communicate like adults" and how do u comunicate like adults with a person that chooses to not have necessary calm conversations?
I tried that with my ex wife….even agreed with her to keep the peace. But it was like she wanted me to disagree just so we could argue. Me: “Ok I see your point” Her: “what’s my point” Me ((says the point EXACTLY)) Her: You’re just saying that because you don’t want to argue.
Spot on about the difference for women with arguing. Need to feel understood vs feeling debated, challenged. Also communication and EI/ self awareness on both sides is necessary. Something that came to mind is also to further understand how women communicate... when we feel lack of connection we may pose a challenge as an opportunity for our man to "prove he cares". In high level mature communication a woman will understand that "proving" is a game and she needs to clearly and kindly communicate her feelings and boundaries/ needs with the intention to provide her partner with a blueprint for success. In the case of this young man, he also has another option rather than "No Contact" which is as much a game as proving. It was surely a shock and hurt that she "cut off" the relationship. But if he believes she is worth the effort m, then being vulnerable and using clear communication to express genuine curiosity about what he could have said or done differently in what she perceived were "arguments". She likely felt challenged or unheard waaay more than just 10% of the time and didn't know how to effectively communicate her need. Being open to feedback and showing your willingness to respect and make compromises so the other feels good in the relationship is the most masculine thing a man can do... "listen without defensiveness and with intention to understand."
Ok dudes, I am 71 years old. I was married for 38 years most of which were pretty good. In a nutshell yes they want to be heard so listen and do what you can to make their life good. I mean if you love them then that it what you are supposed to do right? But when they start to want to control everything because they are used to you allowing them that then you may possibly be losing yourself. Don't let that happen. Stay true to yourself first. In my case it became that she had to "win" Happily divorced now and have hardened my heart but life is fun and taking Coreys advice and scoring big time! FFF is what we used to say in my day. Find em, fk em and forget em. Most of them are nuts or living in some alternate reality but maybe just maybe I will find a good one. good luck to all!
I 100% agree with Coach. My wife and I argued everyday for months, it led to an emotional affair with a coworker 13yrs younger. A lot of you said she belonged on the streets so I kicked her out for a few days and used that time to listen to his book 25 times on audible and then I started applying what I learned. Women like to follow our lead so if the man is toxic then the woman will become toxic too. If the man is a drug addict sometimes the woman will be a drug addict also but if you guys work together and communicate with each other and start showing positive interactions, your woman will follow you I promise. My wife was very toxic a few months ago, always sleeping, always going to bed early and always sleeping in and always making me feel like I wasn't worth her time. That was actually in my head. Because she didn't feel understood, she didn't feel loved she didn't feel wanted, coach was right in his book when he says that even when you're in a relationship you can never stop courting the woman, and I had gotten comfortable just like he says we can all keep our appearances for 90 days well I started slipping up when I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. When I heard that I was BPD it almost felt like it gave me an excuse to become more BPD. One day my wife cried to me, "I just want us to be like how we used to be loving and caring and always laughing, I just want YOU back" because when you are in BPD mode sometimes you can "split" which causes you to devalue the other person. It's very important that if you do feel like you have borderline personality disorder just read this book 15 times and it should snap you out. I will always be grateful for Coach Cory's book and teachings. He was right about everything, we were on the verge of separation and she was almost going to be with someone else until I read and listened to his book. He said something in the book like, "people will do more to avoid pain than they will pleasure"... If you are toxic, it's not too late to change. If you are BPD, just know that you are not worthless and you are not useless. Everybody has that perfect match, that perfect partner who understands you and accepts you for who you are even on your worst days. That is who I am with somebody who understands me and I understand her and we make each other complete. I can definitely see us wearing I'm with stupid shirts in the next 20 years 😂😂
It is so nice to hear from this coach. For the first time I’ve been listening to someone who can talk so much about how we ladies deal with relationships. It made by mind be open and understand that my feelings were not out of order but instead it is inside me and unfortunately I didn’t get in touch with someone who took the time to study about the subject. It would be nice that more guys have contact with those guidelines to better live out in the world and ladies also learning about her own feelings and point out what is ok and what isn’t. Just sharing it with other people here
I don't know if this will help but because I've taken on a Narcissistic path to study, one of the things which was of course interesting to me was the act don't react strategy. It's where you don't bite back to whatever someone is saying to you because your initial response is to snap back at someone who is raising their voice and I've passed on many nuggets of advice to people going through such difficult times. I heard from a therapist you need to take a deep breath before reacting because it calms the flight or fight response, notice your physical symptoms like racing heart, getting tight in the chest and the way to combat that is to keep breathing. I've studied the physical effect it has on the body and different people experience different things but if you regulate your breathing and keep breathing it stops the desire to shout back and when you respond you say something like "I'm selfish? What ways am I selfish?" And you may get told all the various ways you are. "So, you're saying," you say, "because I don't wash our evening meal up and go to to bed when I'm tired that's makes me selfish?" Generally if you repeat back what a woman has said to you she feels heard that you understand the problem and it's great if you're a problem fix it guy offer up a solution say you'll do it or something like I'll wash you dry. If she's screaming at something bizarre and you repeat it back to her she'll laugh and the problems diffused "did you really scream at something like this?" And make a joke out of it. Chances are, she'll know she's being dramatical. Half the time she just wants you to listen to her. Women need a little bit of communication but you want to be careful walking away from a woman whose natural instinct is to fight you that winds her up the most (and it's not always gender specific) because if it's used to purposely annoy or your shutting down to ignore her it's going to ignite rage. And she's not crazy or off her head, she's not just angry she's boiling mad. The worst thing men tend to do and I've noticed this is again and again they never say that woman is angry it automatically has to mean she's off her head that's where I believe men can be very cruel towards women and give her all these unpleasant names because she's expressing strong emotions because you are essentially being rude and disrespectful and that never breads authentic communication or a connection you have to acknowledge that she's hurt or sad or depressed not assume all women are like your exes crazy bizarre women because you could right now have a different experience with this woman. Please, if your in the wrong, admit it quicker don't prolong it. If you didn't turn up to a birthday party on time and she's embarrassed because she had people asking where her fella was and she knows you're supposed to be there at a specific time. Do it. That's also an acknowledgement of getting her heard and next time you'll set reminders on your phone. If she feels like no effort is being made and you're not telling her what you can do and it's been going on for a while why should she stay in that type of relationship?
I don't argue with her anymore. It became clear that she was trying to provoke a fight. I usually walk away. When she is out of control ,I just calmly say " you need to be quiet.
It’s fascinating to see people read the material thoroughly and still have an emotional disconnect. I’m no exception. I really think, like anything, you have to fail to really master these principles.
It sounds like they were arguing because he wanted to continue to see other women, and she wanted to be exclusive, at least based on some of what you read from his email.
I like to imagine a parallel Universe where Eve tries to convert Adam over to the dark side of the force, but Adam does NOT take the bait, but says "Sayonara, Bitch" ... and goes his own way and stays in Paradise ...
I am known as the iceberg haha, according to her. She can whine, she can yell , she can scream, kick, throw things around and I don’t even move, just one thing I make clear,don’t cross the line of getting in my face. Some women are like kids, they need limits. It’s like you’re their daddy instead of their boyfriend or husband.
To that example, that sounds like narcissistic behaviour. Mind games. I wouldn’t respond to that. He should consider himself lucky and he dodged a bullet. I found out today instead of 20 years. She wanted the break up on her terms to feel in control.
What if she saw it somewhere that breaking up would make him beg for her attention... hence, why she kept holding, kissing and crying.... just my thoughts. In conclusion, he argues to win during issues and she didn't want that. She wants to win arguments too.
this woman i was dating told me once "im not used to this, im usually used to dating guys that are emotionally unavailable" ... why would a woman want that? because it seemed like thats what she wanted, women really be seeking for the men that dont care about them
He says 'great relationship 90% of the time for 9 months.' She says, 'we're not working.' Ask her and she probably says the relationship was good (not great) 50% of the time, and checked out at month 6 with very little sex months 6-9.
Facts! One of the better comments here. They ALWAYS check out long before they actually leave. And when they do it’s usually cause they’ve found someone else to successfully monkey branch to. It’s never “all of sudden” unless you do something really stupid like get caught cheating
@@jroll5858 And thats when COMMUNICATION should come in, they usually check out without telling the partner, making them believe she's still on board when she isn't. Then when they got their escape plan or branch all set they end up leaving for good sooner or later. They should communicate better so that could be avoided and relationship salvaged
@@realtalk6720 The point I'm trying to make is that arguing with a woman is doomed to failure because women always believe that they are right. This is because their feelings and not logic are the ultimate arbiters of what she considers truth to be. If she feels that she is right, then no evidence will convince her otherwise. Trying to communicate like an adult doesn't help if the other person is behaving like a child.
I get that there's little point in arguing with your woman, but how do you act when they have hurt/upset you, with something they've done or said? If you talk to her about it and make her understand how you're feeling, if she doesn't acknowledge it then it devolves into an argument? I get women need to feel heard and understood but it also has to go the other way for a relationship to stay healthy.
Someone in the comments asked this to Corey, about women understanding men and taking accountability and Corey immediately shut it down assumed the guy is red pilled and even said "spare me the lecture" lol guess it struck a nerve 🤣🤣
I think he screwed up. It sounds like she was very much in love with him. Telling her he wanted to see other people in this situation is like pouring gas on a fire...
Yup. I think that's what the argument was about, not sure why Coach Wayne didn't make that connection, since the guy who wrote the email brought it up and didn't bring up any other issue they could have been arguing about.
Its funny that Women don't give af if they hurt you or make you feel unheard. Also Women think they're ALWAYS RIGHT no matter what. It gets frustrating for us men as well.
Keep the relationship within a masculine frame, don’t argue, address the issue later. Using logic doesn’t alway work either, choose your language carefully.
If we are equal then we should be on an equal level when trying to solve problems. If much is expected from me as the man then I must be the boss. Videos that protect wømęnñ as the weaker vessel should spell it out that men were made to be bosses in relationships. But the weaker vessel won't listen because of a newly acquired edge in the political social financial system.
What if you have an issue with your significant other and you'd like to bring it up? My GF and I are in the same program in grad school, so we're very busy. She is very focused on school and scores in the 100th percentile on every board exam. She is very attractive and an overachiever. However, we've been dating for two years and we rarely see each other. Sometimes even once a month. Given that I'm in the same program and just as serious about my education and very busy, I feel like we should be taking advantage of our days off and see each other. How would you approach such a matter? She texts me everyday before going to sleep, but I'm sick of it. How would you approach this without causing an argument? Every time I bring it up, she comes up with a million excuse about her busy life. Any advice?
Once a month ? Really ? Do you really want your blue balls emptied once a month ? She should be pursuing you, but here it seems like you're pursuing her.
Action speak louder than words. If she'd Like u so much she would die to see you and spend time with you because thats women who likes the guy do. Believe me ;-)
@@thewanderingartists Yes. We’re both in medical school. I know how busy we are as I’m currently studying for a 9-hour board exam. Not sure if I’m making excuses, but I’m certainly not happy with how rarely we see each other in person. Thanks for your input!
My last girlfriend constantly gave me ultimatums and like a chump I gave into them, until the last one where she wanted me to move in with her with her crazy kids, at the start of the relationship the fun and intimacy was free, then it gradually transitioned to if you want those good times(if you want to batter my Box) you need to father my kids and build my white picket fence ......no thanks!
Its easier not to argue with clinicaly sane women. But when they are not sane they drive you insane. Interest is ineveitable to drop. The In love stage is not forever no matter how you treat her. A myth that certain love doctors started. No such thing as interest level. Proof ? A happy old couple that have feelings for each other trust me its not the same as the initial 25 years ago. Sex is diff ,their looks are diff, they got familliar with each other, know almost if not everything about each other, arguments has increased at the very least a little bit if both are sane, certain health conditions can make one conducting differently, life problems especually with their kids. All these is wearing the in love stage off plus time. I agree they can love each other cause they share nice memories etc... and not just attachment with each other. But telling men u can keep a woman in love forever is a MYTH and its doing a disservice to men.
Some women do say that they love a guy right before they're going to break up with them. I love you. I do, (not sure if I'm ready to let you go just yet, because you had such promise) but it's not going to work - that's my take on this as a woman.
This is what I should’ve done last night but this woman is not a good communicator, has trauma, is combative, doesn’t want to open up. Andddd I was drunk. Ended badly. So i guess it was a catch 22 anyway.
Look this don’t go for all women💯💯notice he kept saying when speaking on the young lady the dude was dealing wit,, “I’m guessing she not a ratchet”🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️look some women gon jus spin you in circles jus cuz Thts who they are💯💯be dumb for a good one,,what coach said in this video applies to women❗️❗️not little girls who jus grown in age..
I suspect the girl in this situation has an anxious atttachment style and is trying to date this guy who has an avoidant attachment style. These are common relationship dynamics that often end in tragedy.
I'm still lost so I'm suppose just ignore her trying to shove her crazy way of thinking down my thoat? Everytime I disagree she's trying to justify her way of thinking and wen I do agree she just Blacks out
Females can end up with a man if she still in love with him ! Sometimes we have to make those decisions because we tired many things not because of love.
I disagree, the Happy Wife School on youtube teaches men that Women expect men to make them happy (which you never will). Its up to them to find their own happiness. Confronting women with this fact will reveal (given time) what you are dealing with.
If all Men in this world be just Men then it would be women who would learn how to change themselves for Men inorder to attract and keep them in their lives.
There’s no way this dude read Coreys book 20 times. If he did he wouldn’t be sending in this email. I don’t understand why people lie. Never arguing is covered in "The Art of Knowing." Yet, he's been arguing with her for months. this is obviously a fake break up on her part and an effort to have him change his ways. He needs to become more alpha.
umm he thinks 90percent of the time everything is good. thats what HE says. he likes seeing other people she is not okay with it he insists i dont understand what about it men cannot understand. this is horrible. girl get out.
Stop getting in with long-term relationships and when the legs close get someone else.... when it comes to relationships I think of myself like america. I don't need to learn to communicate and understand other people (women) I'm the big cheese and they need to speak my language and understand me.
Basicly go lonewolf, join some male hobby groups, fuck around with the ladies as long as it goes, be ready to leave when the drama rises and die alone. There’s no drama free lady for ”average men”. I fucked around with enough lunatic chicks in my 20s and early 30s, I am in a relationship with my job and hobbies nowadays.
Even when they're being combative never argue. Just remove yourself until they're ready, willing and able to communicate as an adult.
Exactly. Even if it’s a member of your family. They may get loud and perturbed when you walk away but it’s good because they show their ass to everyone, even the person in the mirror.
@@Iamtemjin ,
Well you'll never make it back
Doesn’t that make you look weak and soft if you walk away.
@@TA-ht4jo Only if you continue to go back & forth with her, just walk away until she learns how to communicate properly.
When I started to realise how much I valued my peace, I lost any desire to argue with any woman. I just say when she’s ready to talk things out in an adult way, we will. I refuse to be drawn into a slanging match. Did WAY too much of that in my younger years when I was married. Learned my lesson.
@Charles White Paraphrasing not verbatim.
“Even if you win the arguement you’re still gonna lose” I actually peeped that I used to debate about a lot and learned the hard way there is no point in arguing with women whatsoever.
Gotta take your family jewels back guys. Be that mysterious guy. Do your own thing. Be able to live with, and love yourself, alone.. first, and foremost.
Facts!
If I understand the philosophy correctly:
Initial meeting/dating: keep some mystery and have emotional self-control
Relationship: keep centered, open up, and let bring up where things are headed
Marriage: keep the romance alive, maintain yourself
divorce: try to survive
This is so true! Sometimes they raise a discussion just to test how centered you are. Don't argue, acknowledge her.
I don't know if that's true. I just know women love talking about just about anything and some women like deep chats whereby they get to know your thoughts and opinions, usually women want a deep relationship with somebody and it's that connection with you she'll want to have to progress forward because when a woman is interested in you she'll want to know what you think, why you think the way you do and she'll just want to talk to you to know how insightful you are, what interesting things you have to say, any stories. Anything she can relate to - if you give her nothing she'll be disappointed that she thought she could have a real relationship out of - like Corey says if the woman is decent and a woman who won't ultimately put up with jerks jerking her about. If you show yourself not to be serious and you don't have these talks to connect to her she'll easily get fed up, think there's no depth to you and your not interesting and tell you it's not working out because it's easier to walk out of a relationship that hasn't got past the connection phase. It's a lot harder to after that. This is why she's hugging the man telling him she does love him - her feelings are in turmoil not quite ready to let him go because she has connected to him she's formed that with him so she's finding it a lot harder to just walk.
Argue with her and put her in her place. That's the best course of action.
@@alcudiababe1 Word.
Just remember guys: You are either wrong, lying or patronizing them
You win the internet.
Brilliant and so true
I lost a 30 year marriage, and this issue (of many) was one of the nails in the coffin. I now make an effort with my current GF to not argue, but to just listen and ask questions, and for the last 4 years now things have been much easier, so Coach is entirely right on this one. I still work with my ex, and have learned to just let her rant, but walk away when she works herself up into a lather. That drama has also gone down in frequency since then.
Great to see you’re taking responsibility for your part and making changes. That’s real success in life.
“Works herself up into a lather”. 😂
I just tell them to shut the fuck up and to stay in a woman’s place. Usually gets them horny. I can’t stand a babbling woman and a grown ass man with nuts wouldn’t put up with it either.
Women dont argue. Women express. You literally cannot argue with a woman because women have no idea what an actual argument is (most people in general, dont). Arguments are a healthy form of communication. Arguments are a formal form of communication. Arguments allow us to learn things from a different perspective and challenge our own perspectives.
What is being described is not an argument. Arguments have rules. You have to state a premise. You have to follow logic, deduction, induction, facts, evidence, epistemology, etc... Women are not going to do this with you.
When you realize that you literally cannot argue with a woman, you wont even try.
So its not so much "dont argue with a woman" its more just realize that women cannot argue, will not argue, and if they even get a hint or a whiff of legit argument, they will freak the fuck out.
Lol
@@CoachCoreyWayne i mean, date a lawyer if you want a legit argument with a woman. Otherwise, futile.
@@RebelSyntax i had a 6 years relationship with one lawyer and dated some others and i can say that not even them can use logic on a relationship discussion lol
@@pedrolopes1564 ya, you gave it your best shot. I dont blame you for logically thinking that a lawyer would appreciate a legit argument on something as important as her S.O. but thats the best chance. Failing that, its just completely pointless.
@@pedrolopes1564 Yup I have seen highly educated professional women still have this problem. Women are just devoid of logic, reasoning etc. They operate on emotions and feelings.
Cool, just got my assignment for the day!!! Still working on not arguing but this video definitely gives me the boost I need to begin again with my wife of 16 years!
Best of luck !
Deep breathing helps lol
This is great advice. And I know as men we have to step our game up, but it seems unfair, the amount of emotional labor we have to do to make her feel heard and loved. Maybe that’s why he says, as long as she’s mature and not crazy.
It is crazy and unfair, how we gotta step our "game" up, all the emotional labor, loops, and holes we gotta jump through for basic things like communication. The problem is its a game and it shouldn't be. Rather than us playing their game they should be the ones to do better and fix themselves.
The problem is that men (even Coach to some degree) keep enabling this poor behavior by women.
I’m learning that women just want you to listen. Listen and not try to immediately fix or explain. Listen, hear her, and if there is an issue fix it with your actions.
No what she wants is to have it "her" way. That's what they all want. So submit!
What about what men want ??
I’ve learnt this too late, having lost a relationship and I too have read 3% Man more than 10 times.
Many Thanks for the reminder Mr Wayne!
Women need to be heard and understood. At all times when you're dating and in a relationship. When they feel that way, your relationship will run much smoother along with courting them properly. 👌🏾
I wish men realised this. Ignoring us, criticising us, being nasty and not wanting to listen causes us to feel uncared for and we then feel he is unsafe to be around. It is still a scary world out there for some of us as women like me are easily hurt if we are emotionally sensitive, affectionate and caring. Some men take it personally when we want to talk and they refuse to.
Definitely something I’ve learned. I don’t argue and I still win the argument. How? Because the moment you respond to their argument, you’ve lost.
Can’t rain all the time
In the early 1990s (when I was in my mid-20s) I worked in an office. My immediate boss was a woman, and she thought I had arrived at work late even though I hadn't. I tried to argue my case but she wouldn't have it. In the end she said, "I'm not going to argue with you." I didn't get into any trouble but I was pissed off that she wouldn't believe me. One of my co-workers was a guy in his 50s, and he said to me quite seriously, "Don't you know there's no point in arguing with a woman?"
Coach Corey, I really like your videos …I’m a newcomer and I haven’t read any of your books yet. This insight is very relevant for today’s time as we live in a selfish world. Fortunately, we can choose who we spend time with and there are plenty of amazing people left in Los Angeles! ( Shocking 🤪 ) From
A woman’s perspective, I do agree with you that it’s comforting when your man agrees with you “ just because “ especially with busy lives today. Esther Perrel had it correct when she said that today we expect our partners to be our “ everything “ . When before we lived in a more community based environment. We can’t expect our partners to be our life coach , lover , handyman , chef , personal assistant, gym trainer , and financial provider . That’s a Venti order ! At some point it’s so much easier to hear the tone and frustration in a what a person is saying instead of the content and say “ don’t worry babe , I got you. And everything is going to be fine “ this is one example of listening to our partners. Now at the same time, I really appreciate the fact that my fiancée can express to me when he is upset with me and we can work out a solution instead of seeking problems. I love that so much about him ! Although I look at him as the leader in our potential family , I appreciate his honesty and willingness to bring things to the table in a non confrontational way . And as often as I can I do the same. And when we are done we laugh 😂 our asses off. So in a nutshell …. I feel very blessed 😇
I learned a looong time ago to never argue with a woman, just remove yourself until you can both communicate like adults. If she loses her sh*t because you don't want to argue with her...there's your sign fellas, lol. Consider that a dodged bullet, and move on.
Women who don't understand men tend to try and project their emotions onto him as a way of showing him her love believe it or not.
I used to talk to women I knew who did this and most of the time they would not only continue this uncomfortable behavior but double down.
You see they see your complaint of having an uncomfortable emotion as a way of saying "I'm not feeling your love." So instead of stopping or calming down they actually do the action (neediness) more.
"just remove yourself until you can both communicate like adults" and how do u comunicate like adults with a person that chooses to not have necessary calm conversations?
I tried that with my ex wife….even agreed with her to keep the peace. But it was like she wanted me to disagree just so we could argue.
Me: “Ok I see your point”
Her: “what’s my point”
Me ((says the point EXACTLY))
Her: You’re just saying that because you don’t want to argue.
Yup there's no winning with these creatures lol
Sorry to say it bro as she is your ex wife... but a woman that does that is toxic AF
Lmfaooooo
I been married for now 24 years no fights or arguments communicate is the right way to go
She is cheating already and you have no clue.
Sometimes there is another dude in the picture and a woman will just randomly start an argument to break up.
Just off everybody off her off him off yourself
@@joshwilliams6517 rather just move on
@@judahlion3330 lol it was sarcasm
There are always other dudes in their lives. They all lie cheat and steal. The sooner guys come to terms with that, the better.
Spot on about the difference for women with arguing. Need to feel understood vs feeling debated, challenged. Also communication and EI/ self awareness on both sides is necessary.
Something that came to mind is also to further understand how women communicate... when we feel lack of connection we may pose a challenge as an opportunity for our man to "prove he cares". In high level mature communication a woman will understand that "proving" is a game and she needs to clearly and kindly communicate her feelings and boundaries/ needs with the intention to provide her partner with a blueprint for success.
In the case of this young man, he also has another option rather than "No Contact" which is as much a game as proving.
It was surely a shock and hurt that she "cut off" the relationship. But if he believes she is worth the effort m, then being vulnerable and using clear communication to express genuine curiosity about what he could have said or done differently in what she perceived were "arguments". She likely felt challenged or unheard waaay more than just 10% of the time and didn't know how to effectively communicate her need. Being open to feedback and showing your willingness to respect and make compromises so the other feels good in the relationship is the most masculine thing a man can do... "listen without defensiveness and with intention to understand."
Ok dudes, I am 71 years old. I was married for 38 years most of which were pretty good. In a nutshell yes they want to be heard so listen and do what you can to make their life good. I mean if you love them then that it what you are supposed to do right? But when they start to want to control everything because they are used to you allowing them that then you may possibly be losing yourself. Don't let that happen. Stay true to yourself first. In my case it became that she had to "win" Happily divorced now and have hardened my heart but life is fun and taking Coreys advice and scoring big time! FFF is what we used to say in my day. Find em, fk em and forget em. Most of them are nuts or living in some alternate reality but maybe just maybe I will find a good one. good luck to all!
Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the advice 👏👏👍🤣
I prefer to be single and focus on my purpose...
What is the purpose everyone is talking about?
“Healthy mentally stable woman” do…do such things actually exist? 🤣
Doubt it.
Not at my age they dont.
It’s an oxymoron.. Stable woman
Of course. science fiction aisle, next to unicorns.
@Jared of Rivia A real 3% man understands there are no truly sane women, some are just a lot less crazy and unhinged than others 😂
these guys who claim to have read the book multiple times and still have to send in an email are not fooling anybody
Great stuff coach. My wife hates you like bad tasting medicine. It's medicine just take it ladies.
Bro why your wife know about Corey? That could possibly create a lot of problems for your marriage
I 100% agree with Coach. My wife and I argued everyday for months, it led to an emotional affair with a coworker 13yrs younger. A lot of you said she belonged on the streets so I kicked her out for a few days and used that time to listen to his book 25 times on audible and then I started applying what I learned. Women like to follow our lead so if the man is toxic then the woman will become toxic too. If the man is a drug addict sometimes the woman will be a drug addict also but if you guys work together and communicate with each other and start showing positive interactions, your woman will follow you I promise.
My wife was very toxic a few months ago, always sleeping, always going to bed early and always sleeping in and always making me feel like I wasn't worth her time. That was actually in my head. Because she didn't feel understood, she didn't feel loved she didn't feel wanted, coach was right in his book when he says that even when you're in a relationship you can never stop courting the woman, and I had gotten comfortable just like he says we can all keep our appearances for 90 days well I started slipping up when I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. When I heard that I was BPD it almost felt like it gave me an excuse to become more BPD.
One day my wife cried to me, "I just want us to be like how we used to be loving and caring and always laughing, I just want YOU back" because when you are in BPD mode sometimes you can "split" which causes you to devalue the other person. It's very important that if you do feel like you have borderline personality disorder just read this book 15 times and it should snap you out.
I will always be grateful for Coach Cory's book and teachings. He was right about everything, we were on the verge of separation and she was almost going to be with someone else until I read and listened to his book. He said something in the book like, "people will do more to avoid pain than they will pleasure"... If you are toxic, it's not too late to change. If you are BPD, just know that you are not worthless and you are not useless.
Everybody has that perfect match, that perfect partner who understands you and accepts you for who you are even on your worst days. That is who I am with somebody who understands me and I understand her and we make each other complete. I can definitely see us wearing I'm with stupid shirts in the next 20 years 😂😂
It is so nice to hear from this coach. For the first time I’ve been listening to someone who can talk so much about how we ladies deal with relationships. It made by mind be open and understand that my feelings were not out of order but instead it is inside me and unfortunately I didn’t get in touch with someone who took the time to study about the subject. It would be nice that more guys have contact with those guidelines to better live out in the world and ladies also learning about her own feelings and point out what is ok and what isn’t. Just sharing it with other people here
I don't know if this will help but because I've taken on a Narcissistic path to study, one of the things which was of course interesting to me was the act don't react strategy. It's where you don't bite back to whatever someone is saying to you because your initial response is to snap back at someone who is raising their voice and I've passed on many nuggets of advice to people going through such difficult times. I heard from a therapist you need to take a deep breath before reacting because it calms the flight or fight response, notice your physical symptoms like racing heart, getting tight in the chest and the way to combat that is to keep breathing. I've studied the physical effect it has on the body and different people experience different things but if you regulate your breathing and keep breathing it stops the desire to shout back and when you respond you say something like "I'm selfish? What ways am I selfish?" And you may get told all the various ways you are. "So, you're saying," you say, "because I don't wash our evening meal up and go to to bed when I'm tired that's makes me selfish?" Generally if you repeat back what a woman has said to you she feels heard that you understand the problem and it's great if you're a problem fix it guy offer up a solution say you'll do it or something like I'll wash you dry.
If she's screaming at something bizarre and you repeat it back to her she'll laugh and the problems diffused "did you really scream at something like this?" And make a joke out of it. Chances are, she'll know she's being dramatical.
Half the time she just wants you to listen to her. Women need a little bit of communication but you want to be careful walking away from a woman whose natural instinct is to fight you that winds her up the most (and it's not always gender specific) because if it's used to purposely annoy or your shutting down to ignore her it's going to ignite rage. And she's not crazy or off her head, she's not just angry she's boiling mad.
The worst thing men tend to do and I've noticed this is again and again they never say that woman is angry it automatically has to mean she's off her head that's where I believe men can be very cruel towards women and give her all these unpleasant names because she's expressing strong emotions because you are essentially being rude and disrespectful and that never breads authentic communication or a connection
you have to acknowledge that she's hurt or sad or depressed not assume all women are like your exes crazy bizarre women because you could right now have a different experience with this woman. Please, if your in the wrong, admit it quicker don't prolong it. If you didn't turn up to a birthday party on time and she's embarrassed because she had people asking where her fella was and she knows you're supposed to be there at a specific time. Do it. That's also an acknowledgement of getting her heard and next time you'll set reminders on your phone.
If she feels like no effort is being made and you're not telling her what you can do and it's been going on for a while why should she stay in that type of relationship?
I don't argue with her anymore. It became clear that she was trying to provoke a fight. I usually walk away. When she is out of control ,I just calmly say " you need to be quiet.
It’s fascinating to see people read the material thoroughly and still have an emotional disconnect. I’m no exception. I really think, like anything, you have to fail to really master these principles.
It sounds like they were arguing because he wanted to continue to see other women, and she wanted to be exclusive, at least based on some of what you read from his email.
I’ll call out hypocrisy in her critiques of me. But I will acknowledge her FEELINGS before swiftly ending the convo with a ‘goodnight’
I like to imagine a parallel Universe where Eve tries to convert Adam over to the dark side of the force, but Adam does NOT take the bait, but says "Sayonara, Bitch" ... and goes his own way and stays in Paradise ...
I am known as the iceberg haha, according to her. She can whine, she can yell , she can scream, kick, throw things around and I don’t even move, just one thing I make clear,don’t cross the line of getting in my face. Some women are like kids, they need limits. It’s like you’re their daddy instead of their boyfriend or husband.
Thanks for sharing your experience, knowledge, and content @Coach Corey Wayne. 🙌
NEVER ARGUE!!!
To that example, that sounds like narcissistic behaviour. Mind games. I wouldn’t respond to that. He should consider himself lucky and he dodged a bullet. I found out today instead of 20 years.
She wanted the break up on her terms to feel in control.
Sometimes It's Not just reading books you must experience it in real life
What if she saw it somewhere that breaking up would make him beg for her attention... hence, why she kept holding, kissing and crying.... just my thoughts. In conclusion, he argues to win during issues and she didn't want that. She wants to win arguments too.
Couch I'm a subscriber but I haven't gotten notifications of new videos till now I was wondering where you were welcome back
You gotta click the notification bell
"If you don't like it, get a sex change."
Man you crack me up!
This is a very difficult one
Not really, they are incompatible, relationship over.
@@Troonielicious the majority of men have some sort of sexless relationship after a while. Or they have it just to make kids 🙈.
this woman i was dating told me once "im not used to this, im usually used to dating guys that are emotionally unavailable" ... why would a woman want that? because it seemed like thats what she wanted, women really be seeking for the men that dont care about them
Will you please send the link of your conversation with Jocelyn?
He says 'great relationship 90% of the time for 9 months.' She says, 'we're not working.' Ask her and she probably says the relationship was good (not great) 50% of the time, and checked out at month 6 with very little sex months 6-9.
Facts! One of the better comments here.
They ALWAYS check out long before they actually leave. And when they do it’s usually cause they’ve found someone else to successfully monkey branch to.
It’s never “all of sudden” unless you do something really stupid like get caught cheating
@@jroll5858 And thats when COMMUNICATION should come in, they usually check out without telling the partner, making them believe she's still on board when she isn't. Then when they got their escape plan or branch all set they end up leaving for good sooner or later. They should communicate better so that could be avoided and relationship salvaged
Coach I still can’t see a difference in your looks from over ten years ago! Not dealing with the bs must help!
U are so damn true....🎯 It's just a waste of your time and energy.
Confirmed. My ex was a lunatic fruit loop.
The customer is always right.
That's myth is not true, the customer is wrong more time than right.
@@realtalk6720 The point I'm trying to make is that arguing with a woman is doomed to failure because women always believe that they are right.
This is because their feelings and not logic are the ultimate arbiters of what she considers truth to be. If she feels that she is right, then no evidence will convince her otherwise.
Trying to communicate like an adult doesn't help if the other person is behaving like a child.
I need to learn to master this skill.
They are happiest, on their backs!
I get that there's little point in arguing with your woman, but how do you act when they have hurt/upset you, with something they've done or said? If you talk to her about it and make her understand how you're feeling, if she doesn't acknowledge it then it devolves into an argument? I get women need to feel heard and understood but it also has to go the other way for a relationship to stay healthy.
Someone in the comments asked this to Corey, about women understanding men and taking accountability and Corey immediately shut it down assumed the guy is red pilled and even said "spare me the lecture" lol guess it struck a nerve 🤣🤣
There is a video called „when she violates your boundaries“ from corey, give it a listen!
@Charles White So you're saying he's just a hook up coach 😒
@Charles White So he's a hook up coach, that's what you're describing
@@crosswiz6 never heard ”hangout, hookup and have fun” from him? 😅
I still argue with women at times. Less than before though !
I’m still learning!
I think he screwed up. It sounds like she was very much in love with him. Telling her he wanted to see other people in this situation is like pouring gas on a fire...
Yup. I think that's what the argument was about, not sure why Coach Wayne didn't make that connection, since the guy who wrote the email brought it up and didn't bring up any other issue they could have been arguing about.
Yoooo! 😂😂😂😂 Is this on audible cause too funny! How does he want her to sit there and date anyone when he is half in half out! Uh NO!
Its funny that Women don't give af if they hurt you or make you feel unheard. Also Women think they're ALWAYS RIGHT no matter what. It gets frustrating for us men as well.
women are the storm,..men should be the mountain.
"They are un-understandable."
¡Gracias!
Read the book 20 times?
Try applying it.
So what do you do when they want to argue just shut up and listen and nod and say ok etc as she talks?
So you just give them the silent treatment when they do something wrong? Or do you see discussion as different from argument?
Good morning Coach
Keep the relationship within a masculine frame, don’t argue, address the issue later. Using logic doesn’t alway work either, choose your language carefully.
“I’ve read your book 20 times”…….. ‘’will I’d reading it again if I was you”. 😅😅😅
If we are equal then we should be on an equal level when trying to solve problems. If much is expected from me as the man then I must be the boss.
Videos that protect wømęnñ as the weaker vessel should spell it out that men were made to be bosses in relationships. But the weaker vessel won't listen because of a newly acquired edge in the political social financial system.
big facts!
What if you have an issue with your significant other and you'd like to bring it up? My GF and I are in the same program in grad school, so we're very busy. She is very focused on school and scores in the 100th percentile on every board exam. She is very attractive and an overachiever. However, we've been dating for two years and we rarely see each other. Sometimes even once a month. Given that I'm in the same program and just as serious about my education and very busy, I feel like we should be taking advantage of our days off and see each other. How would you approach such a matter? She texts me everyday before going to sleep, but I'm sick of it. How would you approach this without causing an argument? Every time I bring it up, she comes up with a million excuse about her busy life. Any advice?
Once a month ? Really ? Do you really want your blue balls emptied once a month ? She should be pursuing you, but here it seems like you're pursuing her.
As your username suggests, enjoy life ! Date other women.
Action speak louder than words. If she'd Like u so much she would die to see you and spend time with you because thats women who likes the guy do. Believe me ;-)
@@thewanderingartists Yes. We’re both in medical school. I know how busy we are as I’m currently studying for a 9-hour board exam. Not sure if I’m making excuses, but I’m certainly not happy with how rarely we see each other in person. Thanks for your input!
@@jandodanial9376 sounds like you're from India? Board exams and all that, and it's always better if meeting together is girl's idea
She already had two others lined up in reserve.
My last girlfriend constantly gave me ultimatums and like a chump I gave into them, until the last one where she wanted me to move in with her with her crazy kids, at the start of the relationship the fun and intimacy was free, then it gradually transitioned to if you want those good times(if you want to batter my Box) you need to father my kids and build my white picket fence ......no thanks!
Its easier not to argue with clinicaly sane women. But when they are not sane
they drive you insane.
Interest is ineveitable to drop. The In love stage is not forever no matter how you treat her. A myth that certain love doctors started. No such thing as interest level. Proof ?
A happy old couple that have feelings for each other trust me its not the same as the initial 25 years ago. Sex is diff ,their looks are diff, they got familliar with each other, know almost if not everything about each other, arguments has increased at the very least a little bit if both are sane, certain health conditions can make one conducting differently,
life problems especually with their kids.
All these is wearing the in love stage off plus time. I agree they can love each other cause they share nice memories etc... and not just attachment with each other.
But telling men u can keep a woman in love forever is a MYTH and its doing a disservice to men.
Some women do say that they love a guy right before they're going to break up with them. I love you. I do, (not sure if I'm ready to let you go just yet, because you had such promise) but it's not going to work - that's my take on this as a woman.
I’ve never heard that. Interesting
They fall in love? Why would they do that
Because a woman has never, ever been wrong in the history of time.
This is what I should’ve done last night but this woman is not a good communicator, has trauma, is combative, doesn’t want to open up. Andddd I was drunk. Ended badly. So i guess it was a catch 22 anyway.
Look this don’t go for all women💯💯notice he kept saying when speaking on the young lady the dude was dealing wit,, “I’m guessing she not a ratchet”🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️look some women gon jus spin you in circles jus cuz Thts who they are💯💯be dumb for a good one,,what coach said in this video applies to women❗️❗️not little girls who jus grown in age..
A woman is like a horse with a broken leg you shoot the horse but that doesn't fix the leg !
I suspect the girl in this situation has an anxious atttachment style and is trying to date this guy who has an avoidant attachment style. These are common relationship dynamics that often end in tragedy.
Anyone got a link to the instagram video he references?
"The legs open/the legs close"
How crude...
I'm still lost so I'm suppose just ignore her trying to shove her crazy way of thinking down my thoat? Everytime I disagree she's trying to justify her way of thinking and wen I do agree she just Blacks out
In 2023, a guy still has to be the leader, and the woman can’t simply *explain* her point instead of demanding that the guy “gets” her?
Females can end up with a man if she still in love with him ! Sometimes we have to make those decisions because we tired many things not because of love.
I disagree, the Happy Wife School on youtube teaches men that Women expect men to make them happy (which you never will). Its up to them to find their own happiness.
Confronting women with this fact will reveal (given time) what you are dealing with.
If all Men in this world be just Men then it would be women who would learn how to change themselves for Men inorder to attract and keep them in their lives.
Need to remember guys. It's all about them.
"Every happy and healthy woman is really a dude in a dress" - Abraham Lincoln 1769
There’s no way this dude read Coreys book 20 times. If he did he wouldn’t be sending in this email. I don’t understand why people lie. Never arguing is covered in "The Art of Knowing." Yet, he's been arguing with her for months. this is obviously a fake break up on her part and an effort to have him change his ways. He needs to become more alpha.
Ya know why Corey? Cause it ain’t fucking worth it. Let them get their stomach in a knot
He should look back in his head and jot down notes as to what he did or thinks he did wrong, go back to the book (drawing board), and regroup.
umm he thinks 90percent of the time everything is good.
thats what HE says.
he likes seeing other people
she is not okay with it
he insists
i dont understand what about it men cannot understand. this is horrible. girl get out.
Every time I argue with a woman I end up getting laid so idk what y'all are doing not arguing.
If you don't like it, then get a sex change. 🤣
Stop getting in with long-term relationships and when the legs close get someone else.... when it comes to relationships I think of myself like america. I don't need to learn to communicate and understand other people (women) I'm the big cheese and they need to speak my language and understand me.
Basicly go lonewolf, join some male hobby groups, fuck around with the ladies as long as it goes, be ready to leave when the drama rises and die alone. There’s no drama free lady for ”average men”.
I fucked around with enough lunatic chicks in my 20s and early 30s, I am in a relationship with my job and hobbies nowadays.
Touch of bpd in al of them,feelings aint facts
That's why redpill guys do it.
Woman think you are boring when you don't argue back lol
pay attention, corey knows what he's talking about
Argue 30 seconds