Reddit trying to say two things at the same time

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 3.9K

  • @Matt_Rose
    @Matt_Rose  ปีที่แล้ว +4500

    Just addressing a few comments: it is sheer coincidence for this particular video to appear today on Reddit's 'Blackout Day'! I have, obviously, collated these posts over the past few days - I can't churn out videos at a cr1TiKaL pace. I hope dearly that a peaceful resolution is found and subreddits continue to provide us with all their joy 😊 and also obviously because with Yahoo Answers dead and Twitter being run into the ground by Elon imma out be out of a damn job here wtf

    • @benrusnak.929
      @benrusnak.929 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      That is going to hurt you 😢

    • @guilty4947
      @guilty4947 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Reddit can't leave us without the goattt

    • @bonecanoe86
      @bonecanoe86 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      I'm out of the loop, what the hell is "Blackout Day"?

    • @ghastly40
      @ghastly40 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      It's JOEVER

    • @sensifacient
      @sensifacient ปีที่แล้ว +443

      ​@@bonecanoe86 Reddit is intentionally pricing out all the people who made third-party apps so they'll be forced to shut down and every user will be forced onto the official app. When one of the third party developers had a meeting with them to discuss what could be done in terms of pricing or decreasing API calls, they gave him no useful input. They then talked shit about him to the user base, essentially saying that he tried to blackmail them (he posted audio of the phone call, proving that they were lying about him).
      This change impacts people's ability to moderate subreddits effectively since the official app lacks a lot of moderation tools that third party apps have implemented, and the official app also lacks accessibility features that third party apps have, so Reddit will be inaccessible for the visually disabled. They're basically unable to compete with the third party apps on many functions but are going to annihilate them with almost no notice despite having worked together for many years.
      It's shitty on multiple fronts. It isn't wild that they'd want money for usage of their API but they are absolutely pricing it this way to kill these developers' projects. Even RIF (which is extremely minimalistic and has less impact than the official app!) is being priced out and destroyed.

  • @GorgoneMino-pd2uy
    @GorgoneMino-pd2uy ปีที่แล้ว +1395

    Imagine bumping into someone and just yell "ARE YOU COOL"

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      *nic cage energy intensifies*

    • @DacalLP
      @DacalLP ปีที่แล้ว +102

      average highschool experience

    • @andynachos2045
      @andynachos2045 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Sounds like a modern day way of saying are you ok tbh

    • @GorgoneMino-pd2uy
      @GorgoneMino-pd2uy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@andynachos2045 yea kinda

    • @georgeh5075
      @georgeh5075 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Followed by "BRUV!"

  • @foreshadowing7052
    @foreshadowing7052 ปีที่แล้ว +5840

    Imagine being the guy that got “ *FLONG* ” yelled at them in the middle of their sentence

    • @nightwolfdoesthingslol
      @nightwolfdoesthingslol ปีที่แล้ว +211

      No one will know how I got these likes >:)

    • @IAmNot-Everywhere-
      @IAmNot-Everywhere- ปีที่แล้ว +339

      That's absolutely hillary 😭
      Edit: bro i was try'na say hilarious wtf ☠️ 😭

    • @autisticandproudsnephew3636
      @autisticandproudsnephew3636 ปีที่แล้ว +251

      That would be- *FLONG*

    • @chich-ai
      @chich-ai ปีที่แล้ว +322

      "and then, while I was walking out of th-"
      *"FLONG"*

    • @jacobgoodstone7572
      @jacobgoodstone7572 ปีที่แล้ว +286

      "You know, this one time I---"
      " *FLONG* "
      awkward silence

  • @memester2909
    @memester2909 ปีที่แล้ว +375

    I once tried to calmly say "I'm going to get some pain killers" and "I'm going to get some pain pills" and end up yelling "I'M GOING TO GET THE PILL KILLERS". My mom and best friend laughed so hard, which caused me to laugh, I had water come out of my nose.

    • @AstridHorton
      @AstridHorton 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      At Least You Didn’t Say “Pain Pain”

    • @Firefly_On_Pawzzz
      @Firefly_On_Pawzzz 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Gotta protect your family against the pill killers

    • @pikajade
      @pikajade 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      one man's vocal flub is another man's free band name

    • @bigawesomewatermelon9511
      @bigawesomewatermelon9511 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Better than grabbing the killer pills.

  • @artfuldodgerrr
    @artfuldodgerrr ปีที่แล้ว +936

    Today, my history teacher tried to say "people" and "historian" at the same time when talking about interpretations, and ended up saying "pisstorian". He quickly followed that with after a slight pause and saying, "I don't want to know what *that* is."

    • @elfinstudios_
      @elfinstudios_ 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

      LMAO

    • @kaila-denzenhughes4130
      @kaila-denzenhughes4130 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

      they study the history of piss, obviously

    • @winter5264
      @winter5264 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Charon pfp ong‼️‼️

    • @MalwinaKuras-mp8ir
      @MalwinaKuras-mp8ir 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Oh my lord.

    • @EASgirl25
      @EASgirl25 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Lmao!! I’m dead!

  • @blurrysk1es
    @blurrysk1es ปีที่แล้ว +8197

    i once bumped into someone while walking and i tried to say “oh shoot” and “i’m sorry” at the same time. it came out as “oh soup” and im still cringing to this day

    • @aaainainaina
      @aaainainaina ปีที่แล้ว +99

      😭😭😭

    • @pumkin610
      @pumkin610 ปีที่แล้ว +357

      I see that as an absolute win

    • @koiifsh
      @koiifsh ปีที่แล้ว +398

      i might start saying oh soup because i love it

    • @criidawg
      @criidawg ปีที่แล้ว +72

      what did they say in response?

    • @NoNameReal1
      @NoNameReal1 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Lol

  • @Caitlin289
    @Caitlin289 ปีที่แล้ว +2535

    I remember a few weeks ago, I tried to say to my partner "I can't handle this hot weather" and "I can't handle the heat" and my stupid brain decided to merge them together and it came out as: "I can't handle the HOWA HOWEE"
    Literally cackling on the floor for about 5 minutes straight

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Reminds me of one time IN THR MIDDLE OF WINTER.
      I was going to say “It’s so fucking cold” and “I wanna get inside”
      Ended up saying:
      “I want to fuck inside”

    • @animal_empyre
      @animal_empyre ปีที่แล้ว +27

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @catergamer1
      @catergamer1 ปีที่แล้ว +171

      the HOWA HOWEE

    • @animal_empyre
      @animal_empyre ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@catergamer1 I just absolutely love that

    • @darkacadpresenceinblood
      @darkacadpresenceinblood ปีที่แล้ว +77

      HOWA HOWEE I'M CACKLING TOO😭😭

  • @anxiousace4393
    @anxiousace4393 ปีที่แล้ว +194

    Was outside with my mum, tried to say, "I'm scared of a bird pooping on me" but my brain mushed 'Bird' and 'poop' and what I said was "I'm scared of a boob"

    • @ieungeggcats
      @ieungeggcats 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Th

    • @UnhingedPikachu
      @UnhingedPikachu 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      OML-

    • @pepegroda9609
      @pepegroda9609 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      relatable

    • @jobah619
      @jobah619 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      me fr

    • @C2-jkbj
      @C2-jkbj 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Just one boob?

  • @WafflesssFalling
    @WafflesssFalling ปีที่แล้ว +229

    I once had a roommate who worked at McDonald’s and she had to say “welcome to McDonald’s, are you going to be using the mobile app today?”
    Now something about her is that (outside of work) she liked to jokingly bug people with a Mickey Mouse impression to the point where that shit grew lore.
    So one morning she accidentally said “Welcome to mobile app, are you going to be using your McDonald’s today?” In a Mickey Mouse voice to some random stranger

    • @lillyhall423
      @lillyhall423 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I literally started laughing loudly in my living room imagining this

    • @Domestic_wildcat
      @Domestic_wildcat 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      😂😂😂😂😂 that’s hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @TIANIC121
      @TIANIC121 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I am using IHOP.

    • @mariacarvalho2926
      @mariacarvalho2926 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      She probably either made that strangers day or made them confused for the rest of their lives

  • @Undydamon
    @Undydamon ปีที่แล้ว +1449

    My friend once said "I'm gonna go take a dump" and "I have to use your bathroom" at the same time
    And ended up saying "I'm gonna take your bathroom"
    It's still an inside joke between us 'til this day

    • @EatAnOctorok
      @EatAnOctorok ปีที่แล้ว +137

      It's like cats marking territory.

    • @kryw10
      @kryw10 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I can imagine! 😂🤣

    • @iiCounted-op5jx
      @iiCounted-op5jx ปีที่แล้ว +10

      LMAOOOOO

    • @lindanimated
      @lindanimated ปีที่แล้ว +136

      Better than "I have to use your dump", I guess.

    • @A_cool_FNF_fan
      @A_cool_FNF_fan ปีที่แล้ว +46

      HES GONNA TAKE HIS BATHROOM

  • @Cutiemuffinz
    @Cutiemuffinz ปีที่แล้ว +2281

    My mom did that to my sister and me: she wanted to say “did you get enough to eat, my little sweeties?” And “did you get enough to eat, my little family?” And wound up with “did you get enough to eat, my little fatties?”
    We STILL laugh about that, 20+ years on 😂

  • @Kawaii_Pinku_XD
    @Kawaii_Pinku_XD ปีที่แล้ว +1299

    I once tried to say, “My brain is melting” and “My mind is breaking down” so I ended up with, and I quote,
    “My main is having a brelt down”

    • @genericname2747
      @genericname2747 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      Well, that sure shows that you're mind broke down

    • @0_dearghealach_083
      @0_dearghealach_083 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Your

    • @Cat-uv7dy
      @Cat-uv7dy ปีที่แล้ว +64

      It just helps send the message

    • @mxron1.
      @mxron1. 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

      Congrats for being added in a video my guy

    • @Kawaii_Pinku_XD
      @Kawaii_Pinku_XD 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      @@mxron1. Wait what?

  • @TheQuietMaestro
    @TheQuietMaestro ปีที่แล้ว +145

    One time a friend of mine tried to make an excuse while on call not to go to a party with me and accidentally tried to say "I left my grandma outside" and "I forgot to turn off my stove" and said in a hurry "I left my grandma turned on" and hung up, later texted back, profusely apologizing.

  • @scarletnoise7312
    @scarletnoise7312 ปีที่แล้ว +1563

    I once tried to thank my coworker who kindly made some coffee for me by (somehow) saying "Thanks! You're a sweetheart." and "Bless" at the same time.
    ...I ended up saying "Thanks! you're swiss." instead lmao

    • @atwig5872
      @atwig5872 ปีที่แล้ว +185

      NOO I DON'T WANT TO BE FROM SWITZERLAND 😭😭😭

    • @jediarcherbc709
      @jediarcherbc709 ปีที่แล้ว +175

      Thank you for always taking a neutral stance in any major conflict

    • @blurrysk1es
      @blurrysk1es ปีที่แล้ว +48

      the cold, hard truth

    • @fieratheproud
      @fieratheproud ปีที่แล้ว +115

      Assigned Swiss at coffee break

    • @DuneTheKaiju
      @DuneTheKaiju ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I would of replied with "no I'm trans"

  • @Gloopypoopy2
    @Gloopypoopy2 ปีที่แล้ว +475

    My mom tried to call over my sisters, ava and grace at the same time but ended up shouting "GRAVY"

    • @gamingcookiereal
      @gamingcookiereal ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Noelle Honey Sweetie Darling Gravy

    • @koopatroopa6882
      @koopatroopa6882 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@gamingcookiereal 01100100 01100101 01101100 01110100 01100001 01110010 01110101 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100110 01100101 01110010 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101100 (convert from binary to text)

    • @lillyhall423
      @lillyhall423 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      ​@gamingcookiereal was that a deltarune reference?
      FUCK YEAH IM NOT THE ONLY NERD IN THE COMMENTS

    • @error_tryagain_4049
      @error_tryagain_4049 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Honestly, I feel like that should just be their code name.
      It's much shorter, so if she needs to call both of them at the same time, she can say
      "G R A V Y"
      instead of the much longer
      "A V A A N D G R A C E"

    • @lex_thedestroyer
      @lex_thedestroyer ปีที่แล้ว +2

      did they respond

  • @schrelaxo
    @schrelaxo ปีที่แล้ว +387

    I remember being at the store and wanting to ask my mom to buy some popcorn. For whatever reason I thought it'd be funny to randomly scramble the letters, and without thinking about it I shouted:"MUM CAN WE GET SOME COCPORN"

    • @HVY526
      @HVY526 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/dLdvuTMhYRQ/w-d-xo.html

    • @ilplolthereturn7525
      @ilplolthereturn7525 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      So, you have chosen death.

    • @HVY526
      @HVY526 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Who are you talking to?

    • @TIANIC121
      @TIANIC121 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Cerwfreverg🎉yuhhnneybtghyuvr rctyvtg😢trvv

    • @lsraeIW
      @lsraeIW 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      ​@@HVY526Who is it you think you see?

  • @Angel_Kittichik
    @Angel_Kittichik ปีที่แล้ว +136

    I was helping my mom with dinner and I wanted to ask if we were gonna need spoons or forks. Instead it came out as “Do we need sporks or-” stopped myself, we both laughed about it, then I tried to ask again and said “Foons”. Her laughter was soul-healing.

  • @JoeBleasdaleReal
    @JoeBleasdaleReal ปีที่แล้ว +381

    The delivery of “And. I. Just. Said. BUTTER.” was incredible 😂😂😂

    • @2003LN6
      @2003LN6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      100 50 40 30 20 10 BUTTER

    • @christianwoodbury2480
      @christianwoodbury2480 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      1:01 I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but it was NOT just “butter”

  • @JupiterMoon1319
    @JupiterMoon1319 ปีที่แล้ว +946

    one time i tried to say
    "you're very welcome"
    and
    "my pleasure"
    to a customer i helped find the bread isle
    _i said "you're very pleasured" to a poor elderly woman_

  • @IXthCircle
    @IXthCircle ปีที่แล้ว +60

    “Have a gay Davey!” should be actual slang for wishing some a good day

    • @TheBritishDragong
      @TheBritishDragong 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      TRUE

    • @jenniferarmstrong5271
      @jenniferarmstrong5271 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wonder if a person named Davey is Gay.

    • @RainyFoxQuadrobistTherian
      @RainyFoxQuadrobistTherian หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Tbh it sound like one of them old London sayings like
      ‘Apples and pears’
      Or smt

    • @blucheavy3282
      @blucheavy3282 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@RainyFoxQuadrobistTherianit’s called cockney rhyming slang

    • @RainyFoxQuadrobistTherian
      @RainyFoxQuadrobistTherian หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@blucheavy3282 oh thx ☺️

  • @TheRubberDuckCollector
    @TheRubberDuckCollector 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

    A customer asked me for a refill of water for his tea and I noticed it was my favourite tea he had in his cup. I planned on saying to him “you picked the best one” (in reference to the tea) and I just said “you pissed” with a blank stare. My face immediately turned beet red as I tried to explain myself and he and my coworkers laughed at me.

  • @BigyetiTechnologies
    @BigyetiTechnologies ปีที่แล้ว +858

    My wife works in pathology at the hospital and was on the phone to a doctor giving him blood test results. He said thank you, she was going to reply with "you're welcome", but actually said "You wanker". He said "I'm sorry, what?", then she hung up.

  • @Miotide
    @Miotide ปีที่แล้ว +411

    One time I was trying to ask my boyfriend "do you need to use the bathroom" and last second my brain decided to ask him if he had to pee instead so i ended up asking him "do you need to use the pee?". Died over that one for a while there.

    • @irishuisman1450
      @irishuisman1450 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      reminds me of the tumblr post about someone asking 'do you need to use the sleep?'

    • @Faith_Southers
      @Faith_Southers ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @Iris Huisman yea! I was wondering why that sounded familiar lol

    • @Miotide
      @Miotide ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@irishuisman1450 OH yeah it does sound like that post lmao. It's a quality post.

    • @lillyhall423
      @lillyhall423 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      DO. YOU. NEED. TO. USE. THE. PEE. I CANT-

    • @mayumi-chan8593
      @mayumi-chan8593 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      LMAO

  • @Catty_Wampus4610
    @Catty_Wampus4610 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    I tried too tell my Mom that that dog shit on the floor once and ended up saying "MY FLOOR SHITTED THE DOG"

    • @l4v3nd3r_43
      @l4v3nd3r_43 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I CAN'T BRATHE SSKOSMSVS

    • @dravengarcia8658
      @dravengarcia8658 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      What happens after

    • @Catty_Wampus4610
      @Catty_Wampus4610 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dravengarcia8658 We both laughed and then cleaned up the poop lol

  • @roxyhoyt3675
    @roxyhoyt3675 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    My friend and I were playing a game a few minutes ago where he pretended to be a giant monster. He was trying to say "destroying" and "attacking" at the same time and he ended up saying "I'm a giant monster, and I'm distracting the city!"

  • @justanothergamer64
    @justanothergamer64 ปีที่แล้ว +634

    So, one day I was in the band room at school, and like 3 people were talking to me at once.
    I tried to say "hang on" and "shush yourself" at the same time.
    I ended up saying "hang yourse-" and then I stopped, even though probably no one heard me.

    • @fuyuyoshiya
      @fuyuyoshiya ปีที่แล้ว +106

      HELP I WOULD CRY

    • @onlyjpg
      @onlyjpg ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Not RickRoll 🅥 seven?

    • @germandoktor
      @germandoktor ปีที่แล้ว +68

      HELP THIS JUST MADE ME CACKLE

    • @xandersoniplays
      @xandersoniplays ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@onlyjpg it’s a bot

    • @STAR_WALTZ
      @STAR_WALTZ ปีที่แล้ว +11

      HEHEHAHE

  • @wolfcat120
    @wolfcat120 ปีที่แล้ว +561

    One time I came to class late and tried saying "My bad mister, I slept in", but I was listening to music on my way there and still had my earbuds in. So instead of saying that, the lyrics I was humming mixed into what I was trying to say and I ended up blurting out "My baddie mister" in front of everyone. Not a single person in that class has allowed me to forget about it (we're all good friends and have a groupchat)

    • @Leonagraphy
      @Leonagraphy ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Is baddie a slang word for something funny, or was it…just funny?

    • @EatAnOctorok
      @EatAnOctorok ปีที่แล้ว +54

      I read what you meant to say and thought you ended up saying "I slept in my bad sister".

    • @shannonhughes203
      @shannonhughes203 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @Aaron Rayner
      Okay, but the lack of punctuation in the quoted section of your comment scares me a little 😂.

    • @skinlizard2251
      @skinlizard2251 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      @@Leonagraphy Baddie generally is slang for an attractive person.

    • @josephc.9520
      @josephc.9520 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@shannonhughes203 Hol' up

  • @love_hart06
    @love_hart06 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    One time when I was in art club after school, a class mate tried to say that’s nice and that’s lovely but ended up telling me “That’s lice”.

  • @FloatMan84
    @FloatMan84 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I sneezed in class and tried to say “I thought I could save it” but instead said “I was saving it for later… which was right after.”

  • @pikathemimikyu6655
    @pikathemimikyu6655 ปีที่แล้ว +833

    I was listening to my friends tell a story. I tried to reply with "thats crazy!" or "thats insane!", but ended up yelling, "THATS A CRANE" at them, and they all stared at me in confusion for a few seconds 😭

    • @noodlesnook
      @noodlesnook ปีที่แล้ว +36

      plot twist: it was a steamroller

    • @curiouscreator8806
      @curiouscreator8806 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      *IT'S A BIRD*

    • @pinkcowqueen
      @pinkcowqueen ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@curiouscreator8806 It's a crane!

    • @7up.m0cha
      @7up.m0cha ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ​@@noodlesnookROADA ROLLA DA!!!

    • @anushascott1512
      @anushascott1512 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      "Yeah so like, this happened-"
      "THATS A CRANE"🔥🔥🔥

  • @wilcowan-daly5508
    @wilcowan-daly5508 ปีที่แล้ว +1668

    Recently I was at work and it was pretty quiet so a female customer and I had a chat for a good 30 minutes. Being socially awkward, I had already planned to end with "It was nice to chat with you (too if nessacary)" pretty much once the conversation started. However, she threw a spanner in the works when she said "It was lovely to meet you" and my response was "I love you too"

    • @Xnoob545
      @Xnoob545 ปีที่แล้ว +249

      oh holy shit thats probably the worst one

    • @rock9737
      @rock9737 ปีที่แล้ว +146

      Amen to you brother 😭

    • @i_never_had_a_burger
      @i_never_had_a_burger ปีที่แล้ว +68

      *nesacurry

    • @meepbleep27
      @meepbleep27 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      I would probably walk into on coming traffic if that happened to me

    • @dusicasavic6833
      @dusicasavic6833 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      necassury*

  • @ilaprouty
    @ilaprouty ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I was trying to say “Love you, bye!” To one of my friends and ended up saying, very cheerfully, “Lie!”

  • @iliketodostupidthingsonyoutube
    @iliketodostupidthingsonyoutube 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Once, at a store with my mom, I saw some pickles. Naturally, I wanted to say “Oh, look. They have Pickles!” ended up saying “LOOK, PICKEL”

  • @ToothbrushGaming.
    @ToothbrushGaming. ปีที่แล้ว +611

    I don’t know why but these videos specifically make me laugh so hard, I thought people were exaggerating when they comment “I can’t breathe” on a video

    • @themarioking7127
      @themarioking7127 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      It's a wonderful experience

    • @ShizuruNakatsu
      @ShizuruNakatsu ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I watched a video of someone reacting to the "pregananant" video once, and he was laughing so much that it made it 100 times funnier to me. It actually made me fall off the sofa I was sleeping on at the time, and I was crying and choking so hard that I ended up in coughing fits until I almost threw up from gagging so much. And that was even though I kept pausing the video to take breaks! I never knew laughing like that was possible. It's dangerous xD

    • @EatAnOctorok
      @EatAnOctorok ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I ended up laughing like this at one of the edits I made in one of my own videos, to the point that I became genuinely concerned about my inability to breathe and the violent coughing that followed once I could breathe again.
      I was on a Skype call with my ex-girlfriend at the time, who didn't know I was watching back the video, because I was initially watching her draw over the call. She fell out of her chair laughing at *_my_* laugh, and was still laughing a bit when she got back to her desk to ask what was wrong with her drawing.

    • @uselessinformation1988
      @uselessinformation1988 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sometimes I have to pause the video for a few moments so I can catch my breath.

    • @jaketheadventurer2772
      @jaketheadventurer2772 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Because of that, it is not a good idea to eat or drink while watching his videos.

  • @Vernrot
    @Vernrot ปีที่แล้ว +2390

    Once I was trying to say something about cults and countries to my dad and I managed to mix up the two words and very loudly, whilst staring directly into his eyes, said "C*NT" and then became so embarrassed that I couldn't say anything for 5 minutes. Thankfully we are British so it's slightly less bad than if we were American because apparently it's more insulting over there

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 ปีที่แล้ว +313

      If you were in Australia it would just signal a new maturing of your relationship 😀

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว

      CUNT?!
      💀 WHAT. LMAO

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 hell no-
      It would be way different in Canada.
      We’d beat the shit out of spoke who calls others “Cunts”

    • @cajunseasoning1846
      @cajunseasoning1846 ปีที่แล้ว +190

      tbh as a brit, c*nt is part of my daily vocabulary at this point. Either my relationship has godly humour or im a social cretin that has lost the ability to socialise normally. I dread the day i accidentally say something in public that i forgot is actually offensive.

    • @ohgodohnothebees
      @ohgodohnothebees ปีที่แล้ว +99

      I'm American and I've never actually heard someone say cunt. I've heard it's a sexist thing for men to call women, but I often say it when I'm frustrated.

  • @samaro1791
    @samaro1791 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I mixed up some words recently: baking instructions and baking directions.
    The result? Baking DESTRUCTIONS
    I'd like to think I'm better at baking than that implies.

  • @xXCyanSoulXx
    @xXCyanSoulXx ปีที่แล้ว +36

    One of the experiences I won't forget: After showing my aunt how to use google slides
    Right before I ended the call, my brain couldn't decide whether to say "No problem" or "You're welcome".
    Guess what I ended up saying?
    " *YOUR PROBLEM* "

  • @beek.4860
    @beek.4860 ปีที่แล้ว +931

    My high school algebra teacher, while talking to a group of guys about their upcoming soccer game, tried to say "Kick 'em in the shins!" but realized that sounded too mean and switched halfway through to "Kick those balls!" Yeah, he just ended up telling them enthusiastically to "kick them in the balls!"

    • @DiamondKingStudios
      @DiamondKingStudios ปีที่แล้ว +97

      That’s even worse…

    • @KubickQ
      @KubickQ ปีที่แล้ว +116

      no he just doubled down on the mean and used that as an alibi in case they didn't like it

    • @jamesthebluecat1263
      @jamesthebluecat1263 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹 I’m dead.

    • @blurrysk1es
      @blurrysk1es ปีที่แล้ว +38

      that doesnt make it better 😭😭

    • @funguy3259
      @funguy3259 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      if you insist

  • @dazaikinniee
    @dazaikinniee 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Accidentally stepped on my friends foot, tried to say “sorry“ and “oops” at the same time… looked her dead in the eyes and said “soup.”

  • @timeisahorse114
    @timeisahorse114 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    One time, I tried to say "I'm in Spain without the P" (like "I'm insane") but I somehow ended up with "I'm insane without the D" well that one got passed around the group chat in no time at all 💀
    You should make a video solely from TH-cam comments (if you haven't already. I'm methodically watching through all of them now, I've only just discovered your channel but it's hilarious and I love your content)

    • @depressionpie4859
      @depressionpie4859 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I’m in Spain without the A

    • @timeisahorse114
      @timeisahorse114 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@depressionpie4859 S P I N

    • @whyis2plus2
      @whyis2plus2 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@depressionpie4859 youyr'e in spin?

  • @foxinsocks4693
    @foxinsocks4693 ปีที่แล้ว +827

    These ones are my all-time favorites honestly. First thing in a while to make me genuinely laugh out loud

    • @newt5111
      @newt5111 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      same of all the matt rose videos these are the ones that make me laugh the most

    • @the_zestylime
      @the_zestylime ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same. That's why I asked Reddit :D

    • @foxinsocks4693
      @foxinsocks4693 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yoooo I done did get a heart from Matt! Thanks Matt, love your work. Your videos always cheer me up

    • @foxinsocks4693
      @foxinsocks4693 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@the_zestylime oh wait was that you??
      Edit: holy shit if that’s real then great job

    • @laughsingay
      @laughsingay ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know, my stomach hurts from laughing now!

  • @starfleshmeat
    @starfleshmeat ปีที่แล้ว +402

    I once talked to my friend and we talked about our favorite animals. My peanut brain tried to say "I love ducks" and "Seals too" at the same time, it came out as "I love deals too. "

    • @thebingler77
      @thebingler77 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Doesn't everybody love deals

    • @Flesh_Wizard
      @Flesh_Wizard ปีที่แล้ว +35

      The Art of the Deal

    • @jenkathefridge3933
      @jenkathefridge3933 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      ​@@thebingler77 especially when you can get but 1 get 1 free cereal

    • @connorbeith3232
      @connorbeith3232 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@Flesh_Wizard "It was a great response, the best response, everyone's saying it."

    • @Flesh_Wizard
      @Flesh_Wizard ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@connorbeith3232 "best response ever, believe me, believe me"

  • @EllpaFox47
    @EllpaFox47 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    the "FLONG!" thing had me laughing so hard it triggered a coughing fit and I'm now not entirely sure I haven't collapsed a lung

  • @freshfighter9
    @freshfighter9 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    When my sister’s cat gets a hairball, he starts wheezing, and once I tried to THINK “are you okay” and I’m so glad I didn’t say anything, cuz if I did I would’ve just yelled “Happy Birthday!”

  • @snowberriesproductions7175
    @snowberriesproductions7175 ปีที่แล้ว +658

    I work as a cashier and when people buy rotisserie chicken from the deli I usually ask “you want the chicken in a bag?” or “is a bag alright?”
    I mashed them together one time and said “chicken bag YEAH!”

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +154

      Reminds me of one time when my friend who apparently works at a KFC place.
      She was going to say “here’s a bag with chicken”
      Instead LOUDLY proclaimed
      “HAVE A CHICKEN DAY”

    • @Confusion372
      @Confusion372 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      CHICKEN BAG YEAH

    • @ebony721
      @ebony721 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      That kind of sounds like an odd but good rap line

    • @user-xo5wd6sg5z
      @user-xo5wd6sg5z 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!

    • @ProfJamie20
      @ProfJamie20 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@KadeoAVvalentine I would LOVE to have a chicken day 😂😭

  • @lucabayley1454
    @lucabayley1454 ปีที่แล้ว +311

    My friend's mum asked me what fast food place I would prefer. I tried to say "I don't care" and "It doesn't matter" at the same time. Accidentally told her that "I don't matter"

  • @duzehalo
    @duzehalo ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I did 4:23 once. I was in Germany and since I'm learning German I try to use it every time I get a chance. So that one day I entered the bakery and tried to say "Hallo" but my brain was still in English mode so it started with "Hi". What got through my mouth was a loud "Heil-o".
    I tried very hard to not facepalm myself and stuck to English to buy my bread.

  • @talonsandtails501
    @talonsandtails501 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I was trying to say “person” but somehow started saying character and stopped halfway through and ended up saying “sometimes I feel like the only carrot”

  • @thetruemlerm
    @thetruemlerm ปีที่แล้ว +246

    Was once helping a girl in my class with some math work. Now i have no idea what words she mixed up but i do know it ended with her looking at me dead in the eyes and going "you're a smart chicken arent ya"
    I will never forget the weirdest complement ive ever been given in my life

    • @kashahudack
      @kashahudack ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I think it might’ve been “You’re a smart cookie” and “You’re a smart person” but idk

    • @noodlesnook
      @noodlesnook ปีที่แล้ว +27

      why did i read that in a northern irish accent?

    • @ilikemydonutswithjaminthem5606
      @ilikemydonutswithjaminthem5606 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Maybe she was Spanish and meant to say "chico" which means "boy"

    • @TheKosstImogen
      @TheKosstImogen ปีที่แล้ว +11

      This isn't even weird to me, "chicken" is a term of endearment where I'm from. So is "hen" and, best of all, "cock". We just really like poultry I guess.

    • @albinocat
      @albinocat ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheKosstImogenyou’re a decent cock, mate

  • @demonico28
    @demonico28 ปีที่แล้ว +292

    I’ll never forget the day i was talking to a female friend and got torn between saying either ‘swag’ or ‘slay’ so i just said ‘slag’

    • @bananeled3838
      @bananeled3838 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      My favorite Transformer

    • @Xnoob545
      @Xnoob545 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      It's the stuff you skim off the top of molten metal

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      I went to wave goodbye to a dear friend recently, but was tired and distracted and flipped him off instead. I'm normally really lovely to him.
      He greeted me the next time I saw him by doing the same. We're good.

    • @gav1233
      @gav1233 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I read your comment out loud and accidentally said "sway".

    • @demonico28
      @demonico28 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@gav1233 lol

  • @TitusRedwind
    @TitusRedwind ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I once tried to announce to my family I had big news but my brain mixed up the last two words and I ended up shouting to my dad "I got booze!"

  • @roobs001
    @roobs001 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I can no longer watch these videos while eating breakfast because I always seem to spit out my oatmeal fron laughing too hard.

  • @kyanem4211
    @kyanem4211 ปีที่แล้ว +916

    Once I went to the doctors for being sick, and being the mess I was, I tried debating whether or not to be casual and say "whats up" or "Good morning, its great to see you (????)". For some reason they mixed up and so I looked my doctor into the eyes and said with a weak and raspy voice,
    "What _is_ soup?"

    • @realPurpleOrb
      @realPurpleOrb ปีที่แล้ว +154

      This is the third soup jumble

    • @Plut0TheCrypt1d
      @Plut0TheCrypt1d ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@realPurpleOrb EXACTLY

    • @Windperfire
      @Windperfire ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Cereal. Fight me

    • @llllllllemon
      @llllllllemon ปีที่แล้ว +33

      This implies that the ocean is cereal, therefore you should be fought

    • @linkly9272
      @linkly9272 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@llllllllemon Is it though?

  • @V0IDWARE
    @V0IDWARE ปีที่แล้ว +2843

    You know hes a good ytber when he managed to make a reddit video when every SR is shutting down for a few days

    • @Pokeredwood
      @Pokeredwood ปีที่แล้ว +179

      Reddits done gone dark boi

    • @floppa_gamer1111
      @floppa_gamer1111 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @Not RickRoll 🅥 bot

    • @laserfoxpro
      @laserfoxpro ปีที่แล้ว +95

      @F𝗮ѵ⊕ Edits SubReddit i assume

    • @HaloTropical
      @HaloTropical ปีที่แล้ว +149

      RIP reddit. Let's hope the protests work.

    • @SerperiorChaos
      @SerperiorChaos ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How does he do this

  • @thatrobinisagoodfellow
    @thatrobinisagoodfellow ปีที่แล้ว +22

    My coworker was trying to say "bye" but her brain tried to say "good night" instead so she ended up saying "Alright, guy!" At least whatever guy she was talking to knows he's alright

  • @annalawry5352
    @annalawry5352 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I worked at Chick-fil-A for a while, and when it got really late at night, I would lose all ability to function or form sentences. There was one time I was working the drive-thru later in the evening when I tried to say "have a nice day" and "have a nice night," so instead I said "Have a nice DIE" followed by me staring them blankly in the eyes as they drove away, having no idea how to apologize.

  • @crashrose6128
    @crashrose6128 ปีที่แล้ว +493

    I jumbled an entire sentence yesterday. I was trying to very enthusiastically make a point to my friend about something and all the words came out at once leaving me with “wereg in the waf ga by da ba!” shouted very directly into his face with the intensity of a heated lawyer in a court room. I just kept smiling like what I had said made perfect sense. He blinked and hit me with “you’re right, I can’t speak simlish.”

    • @EstelleLuminas
      @EstelleLuminas ปีที่แล้ว +54

      NOT THE SIMLISH!!😂😂

    • @JeezAlax
      @JeezAlax ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Bro not the Simlish
      I'm dead 💀
      I can actually hear the weird Sims guys speaking those exact words

    • @sleepysloth8022
      @sleepysloth8022 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I was scrolling through the comments, at 1 am and I go into a laughing fit for a whole minute because of this 😭💀

    • @0_dearghealach_083
      @0_dearghealach_083 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Are you having a stroke, my dude?

    • @crashrose6128
      @crashrose6128 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@0_dearghealach_083 nah i just talk to fast for my own good lol

  • @Sobeitut
    @Sobeitut ปีที่แล้ว +979

    One of my friends came out as bisexual, so I tried to tell her “that’s great!”, but my mouth wanted to say “okay.”
    I accidentally said “That’s gay!”

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +145

      Lmao. It would be so intrusive and intriguing
      To say “That’s gay” to a LGBTQ person who isn’t even gay.
      Random explanation:
      One time someone randomly proclaimed “that’s gay” to me while me & my brother were just hugging after not meeting for years.
      IT WAS AWKWARD.
      THEY EVEN MISTAKEN ME AS A GUY-
      i’m A FEMALE NOT A GUY

    • @anushascott1512
      @anushascott1512 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      "I'm bi..."
      "That's gay."

    • @nettie367
      @nettie367 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Well too bad your friend is only halfway gay

    • @Iliadic
      @Iliadic ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Well, it's not *wrong*

    • @Neutral_Star
      @Neutral_Star ปีที่แล้ว +17

      "Yeah. Gay." -Crimson

  • @ilivory974
    @ilivory974 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Ah, this reminds me of when I was playing fire fighters with my younger brother and several other little kids and I accidentally mixed up “fire truck emergency” and shouted “FUCK EMERGENCY” in the middle of a McDonald’s playground

    • @ddelphine29
      @ddelphine29 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😂😂😂😂

  • @arcanelore3791
    @arcanelore3791 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    1:42 "Have a gay Davey!"
    Me, a Newsies fan: "Thanks, I believe I will."

    • @imabitsilly118
      @imabitsilly118 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      me a dayshift at freddys fan: thank you very much

    • @HVY526
      @HVY526 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Me, a Dave and Bambi fan: Sorry, that Davey isn’t gay.

    • @The_lamb_sauce
      @The_lamb_sauce 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@imabitsilly118hello old sport

  • @cat91882
    @cat91882 ปีที่แล้ว +566

    One time me and my friend were baking muffins in the kitchen. We left to do something for a little while but her mom was doing things in the kitchen so I poked my head in and was deciding between asking "Are the muffins ready" and "Have the muffins baked yet?". I totally blanked and screamed at this poor woman "BROMPHIN?!"

    • @chipmunkgrrl2436
      @chipmunkgrrl2436 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      You sure you weren't *baked*?

    • @lillyhall423
      @lillyhall423 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Did she answer the question? The only way to respond to that is MAKLUCK

    • @musik7314
      @musik7314 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I can't breathe I'm dying help 😭

    • @when_cat
      @when_cat ปีที่แล้ว +50

      "Alright I fini-"
      " *BROMPHIN* "

    • @dorito_mauller
      @dorito_mauller ปีที่แล้ว +24

      That sounds like some sort of food

  • @madiz4228
    @madiz4228 ปีที่แล้ว +309

    I went with my parents to meet some extended family at a restaurant for my 12(-ish) birthday. I was excitedly explaining to my parents how badly I wanted a “big stitch” plushie for my birthday. Instead of saying “big stitch”, I said “I want a b*tch plushie!!” My parents (and I, at the time) were pretty intensely religious, so I froze and my face went red. Luckily they thought it was a really silly mistake and we all laughed, but I thought I committed like the most atrocious sin on the planet lol.

    • @el-nathan
      @el-nathan ปีที่แล้ว +20

      at least they laughed...

    • @equilibrum999
      @equilibrum999 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      whyth, doesnt this word literar mean 'female dog'?

    • @el-nathan
      @el-nathan ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@equilibrum999 They combined "big" and "stitch" into "bitch". Also, what does whyth mean?

    • @sketanor
      @sketanor ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@el-nathanbut "bitch" means female dog

    • @dumb214
      @dumb214 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      but did you get the b*tch plushie?

  • @jayamarillo628
    @jayamarillo628 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "Are they damaged or do you just don't wanted them?"
    -me when a customer returned a carton of eggs

  • @conlon4332
    @conlon4332 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I was once talking to my Mum in the car, I can't remember about what, but I tried to say the words "tuck" and "fold" at the same time, and it came out as "fuck".

    • @user-xo5wd6sg5z
      @user-xo5wd6sg5z 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      💀

    • @leonardonunes5437
      @leonardonunes5437 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Dude's gonna be grounded.

    • @conlon4332
      @conlon4332 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@leonardonunes5437 Nah, my Mum just laughed along with me.

    • @leonardonunes5437
      @leonardonunes5437 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Wow, you're so lucky.

  • @bigtrolly
    @bigtrolly ปีที่แล้ว +262

    A colleague of mine once tried to say bye to an English customer, but she accidentally mixed it up with the Dutch word for bye which is 'doei'. She just looked the guy dead in the eyes and said:
    "D... DIE."

    • @irishuisman1450
      @irishuisman1450 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      oh I hope that never happens to me ^^'

    • @i_never_had_a_burger
      @i_never_had_a_burger ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "Thank you for shopping with us, now DIE 😊"

    • @bigtrolly
      @bigtrolly ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@irishuisman1450 I told about what happened to another colleague of mine. Within 3 days she said the same thing to a foreign customer. Either our workplace in Eindhoven is cursed, or just telling about what happened is a curse in and of itself. If it's the latter.. I'm sorry

    • @dorito_mauller
      @dorito_mauller ปีที่แล้ว

      Did he come back shitless?

    • @sakurafalls2468
      @sakurafalls2468 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@bigtrollybigtrolly I think being bilingual is a curse lmaoo. I'm also Dutch and worked in England for a while. Nah, the random dumb af sentences that left my mouth sometimes... I'm sure other bilinguals have the same issue XD

  • @mogalactic13
    @mogalactic13 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    One time I was tired and I tried to say "It's doesn't matter" and "I don't mind" at the same time, I ended up creepily saying "It doesn't mind" to my grandma.

  • @luzelledelacruz9469
    @luzelledelacruz9469 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    After my adviser received an award, I met him backstage and was about to greet him with a "congrats!" but instead my brain just thought "quick! say some greeting" then what I said to my adviser was "Happy birthday!"

  • @leananimator
    @leananimator ปีที่แล้ว +153

    When I was 7 year old I was with my mum in the store and I bumped into a tall person I was trying to say “oops” and “sorry” and ended up saying sup
    The look of pure happiness on the guys face still confuses me

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +56

      One time when I was 14 (5 years ago)
      I managed to say “Sorry” and “Excuse me” and “I DIDNT WATCH MY STEP”
      i then *LOUDLY* proclaimed:
      EXCUSE MY SISTER

    • @ItsJustChri5
      @ItsJustChri5 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      he probably just thought it was cute.

    • @IfRinnCanSlayyThenYouCanToo.
      @IfRinnCanSlayyThenYouCanToo. 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@KadeoAVvalentineomg 😭😭

    • @andynachos2045
      @andynachos2045 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@KadeoAVvalentineyou have a lot of these stories, eh?

  • @ragequazar
    @ragequazar ปีที่แล้ว +141

    i think this is genuinely my favourite subject for a video, ever. full stop. i was in tears halfway through the video and wheezing when it was done. jesus christ.

  • @LynaGalliara
    @LynaGalliara ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Drunkenly just said: "she's a good puman" - as I wasn't sure whether to say "person" or "human". Made me think of this vid. Thanks Matt Rose. You're also a good puman.

  • @nixienooo
    @nixienooo ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I tried saying “it’s muggy” and “it’s humid” at the same time, ended up saying “it’s moggy” every time I tried to say either word lmao

  • @kattheneeko
    @kattheneeko ปีที่แล้ว +520

    Remembering the time I tried to say "pretend" and "practice" at the same time and ended up saying "pretactice" instead. It's not even that funny but TO THIS DAY every time it crosses my mind, my brain conjures up this image of a little cactus under the desert sun to accompany the word and it sends me into absolute hysterics.

    • @blurrysk1es
      @blurrysk1es ปีที่แล้ว +33

      now i’m picturing it 😭

    • @SaraRankins.
      @SaraRankins. ปีที่แล้ว +30

      That's adorable

    • @Cain-Gaming
      @Cain-Gaming ปีที่แล้ว +23

      You are now forced to look at the beautiful image again

    • @Mr.Bob-Gray
      @Mr.Bob-Gray ปีที่แล้ว +18

      pretactice

  • @kippert8912
    @kippert8912 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Are we not going to talk about the McDonald's cashier who just said "heil"

  • @00-VOODIE-00
    @00-VOODIE-00 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    2:41 mrflimflam

  • @MF99K
    @MF99K ปีที่แล้ว +329

    The other day my friend and I were having a discussion about the new Zelda game, and I somehow tried to say "Twitter" and "Link" at the same time, and I ended up saying "Twink," thus causing both of us to fall over in hysterics

    • @shotosynthesis312
      @shotosynthesis312 ปีที่แล้ว

      I mean...he is a twink

    • @irishuisman1450
      @irishuisman1450 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      tbf twink is a pretty good description of what Link looks like xD

    • @Fnafiac
      @Fnafiac ปีที่แล้ว +37

      He is tho

    • @blurrysk1es
      @blurrysk1es ปีที่แล้ว +28

      you aint wrong

    • @Scrufflord
      @Scrufflord ปีที่แล้ว +55

      link might be the most convenient possible character to accidentally call a twink

  • @grammar_ash
    @grammar_ash ปีที่แล้ว +139

    I was once talking to my brothers at a wedding or something that we were all at and I was trying to say "let's take a seat" and "let's sit" and i totally told them "let's take a shit" and no one in our family swears and I just looked at them and we all burst out laughing and I was like "let's not talk about that again" 😂

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Now that reminds me of one time when I was gonna order..
      when I was gonna ask for a
      “Caramel Macchiato”
      My brain thought of something completely else
      I ended up saying:
      Can I have a mosquito please?
      💀
      And then 4 mins later bumbing into my friend and I tried to say
      “OPSIE DAISY” and “FUCK ME NOT AGAIN” at the same time.
      I loudly proclaimed publicly. “OH FUCK ME DAISY” 😭
      HIS NAME IS ARON.

    • @xSpxce_Odd1tyx
      @xSpxce_Odd1tyx 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @xSpxce_Odd1tyx
      @xSpxce_Odd1tyx 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@KadeoAVvalentine🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @gillipop1
    @gillipop1 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    We were all counting down for no reason. One kid said blast off. The rest of us said happy birthday, she corrected herself BLAPPY BIRTHDAY

    • @aah_my_handle
      @aah_my_handle ปีที่แล้ว

      B L A P P Y B I R T H D A Y

  • @Ilikepeaches666
    @Ilikepeaches666 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    few months ago i bumped into a classmate ive never spoken to and i tried to say "sorry" and "excuse me" at the same time and i just hissed at him

  • @HiddenPufferfish01928
    @HiddenPufferfish01928 ปีที่แล้ว +1623

    I am glad Matt is doing a part 2 series
    He’s the guy who can make shrek 2 as good as 1

    • @HiddenPufferfish01928
      @HiddenPufferfish01928 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Not RickRoll 🅥 wtf?

    • @RickAstley-qd8bn
      @RickAstley-qd8bn ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Hey, Shrek 2 was pretty good.

    • @endgamer7896
      @endgamer7896 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@HiddenPufferfish01928 its a bot

    • @no_
      @no_ ปีที่แล้ว +23

      what are you talking about shrek 2 was amazing

    • @HiddenPufferfish01928
      @HiddenPufferfish01928 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@no_ I know
      That’s what I ment

  • @scotlandtheseer
    @scotlandtheseer ปีที่แล้ว +162

    One time my biology teacher, while describing how a cell worked, tried to say ‘little holes’ and ‘pores’ at the same time. It came out ‘little whores.’ He had a good laugh about it alongside us.

    • @rarghGAY
      @rarghGAY 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      this one is my favourite

    • @whyplaypiano2844
      @whyplaypiano2844 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      He isn't wrong!

    • @keilanamoses
      @keilanamoses 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      My mom tried to make a joke about this and instead said “whores and pores” 😂

  • @desc3nd1ng-k
    @desc3nd1ng-k 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    worked in fast food and accidentally told a customer to “have a day”

  • @_Cloudyy-Cyclonee
    @_Cloudyy-Cyclonee ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "Taste my shoot goot" Has got got to be the best sentence I've ever heard lol

  • @toxiphilia
    @toxiphilia ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Swede visiting Ireland, eating lunch. Needed to use the bathroom so got the attention of a waitress to ask where the restroom was. My handful of braincells got spooked just as I opened my mouth and out came "can I borrow your toilet?"

    • @theKobus
      @theKobus ปีที่แล้ว +13

      If it’s any comfort, that’s actually a pretty common idiom in American English. Might be a Western US thing.

    • @toxiphilia
      @toxiphilia ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@theKobus That is a comfort, thank you :-)

  • @mallowanimationsyt4646
    @mallowanimationsyt4646 ปีที่แล้ว +347

    Tried to say “he has the longest time so far!” And “he’s lasted the longest” at the same time while at a bull ride machine at a school party. Instead, my dumbass shouted “HE’S LONGEST THE LASTEST!” And I still facepalm at myself from it 💀

    • @dakotahrickard
      @dakotahrickard ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Can I borrow this? It's amazing.

    • @mallowanimationsyt4646
      @mallowanimationsyt4646 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@dakotahrickard go for it dude, at least you can do that on purpose 😭

    • @florencedelves7409
      @florencedelves7409 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      old english be like

    • @officialsemieita
      @officialsemieita ปีที่แล้ว +5

      this is genuinely making me laugh way too hard at 8pm
      but i literally talk like this with my friends

  • @strawberrymoonphased
    @strawberrymoonphased ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "ended up asking for S&M" LOLOLOLOLOLROFLCOPTR 😂😂😂

  • @randompony0334
    @randompony0334 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Remembering the time I tried to tell a costumer "the card machines are picky" and "sometimes they're fickle" at the same time so it came out as
    "The card machines are pickle.....I mean ficky, I mean-"

  • @hobbytunez2519
    @hobbytunez2519 ปีที่แล้ว +128

    This reminds of one tongue twister “I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit. Upon the slitted sheet I sit.” I think the problem speaks for itself especially when you’re doing this as a vocal warm-up for a musical with a youth theatre company.

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      If you'd had the word "Christian" in front of "youth" there I would've been howling

    • @cheeseburgermonkey7104
      @cheeseburgermonkey7104 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      "I slit the sheet
      the sheet I slit
      Upon the slitted sheet I sit"
      "I slit the sheet the sheet I slit upon the slitted sheet I sit
      "I slit the sheet the sleet I shi

    • @AxolotlQueen
      @AxolotlQueen ปีที่แล้ว +1

      shitted sleet i shit.

    • @MoldyRainbowButter
      @MoldyRainbowButter ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I am a mother pleasant plucker
      I pluck mother pheasants
      I am the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker
      To pluck mother pheasants

    • @dakotahrickard
      @dakotahrickard ปีที่แล้ว +13

      That's on them, giving you that tongue twister. They KNEW what they were doing.

  • @Bushlandbum
    @Bushlandbum ปีที่แล้ว +123

    Had a friend who was a singer for a local rock band. When he gave me tickets for his show I was between saying “ sing your heart out” and “sing your voice out”. Ended up accidentally saying “sing your horse” 🐴

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I thought you said
      “When he gave me his *COCKS* for his show”
      I BURSTED OUT LAUGHING

  • @RoslynThePotato._.
    @RoslynThePotato._. 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My friend was eating spicy ramen once and my sister came down from her room and my friend was going to say “you’re annoying” and “it’s spicy” and ended up saying “you’re spicy” and my sister was visibly confused while I just burst into laughter and died on the floor while my lungs stopped working 💀

  • @spoofriver
    @spoofriver 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    “Have a gay davey” sounds like something a drunk brit would say

  • @l.ftshoe
    @l.ftshoe ปีที่แล้ว +444

    I have two of these stories.
    So, I was on call with a few friends and we're playing a horror game. Its pretty late at night, I just drank a Caprisun and an energy drink. My friend laughs at something another said and her giggle sounded very menacing. I went to say giggle and chuckle, but ending up telling her she has a "devious chickle" 💀
    The second one happened between me and my mother. Whenever I grab something, I usually say "snatch" or "yoink". Tried to say both and ended up shouting "SNOINK"
    My mother now uses it in her daily speech.

    • @EstelleLuminas
      @EstelleLuminas ปีที่แล้ว +61

      SNOINK😂😂

    • @gargolgaming8101
      @gargolgaming8101 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      While reading this i said aloud "Energy brink"

    • @l.ftshoe
      @l.ftshoe ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@gargolgaming8101 LMAO

    • @l.ftshoe
      @l.ftshoe ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@EstelleLuminas it is a recurring joke. every time i think its over, oh no. it comes back.

    • @myarmsrgone
      @myarmsrgone ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Chickle sounds like a slur and that somehow makes it a bit funnier

  • @sinistersilence489
    @sinistersilence489 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    I was once cycling home with a watermelon in a bag hanging off my handlebars and it was pulling me around. Some people moved to the side to let me pass on a thin pathway. What I wanted to say was something along the lines of "Oh thanks, but I can't cycle very straight right now because of this watermelon and I don't want to knock into you". What came out was "Oh no thanks, I have a melon"

  • @sleepdeprived_inc.
    @sleepdeprived_inc. ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Once got so scared by an enemy sneaking up behind me in Zelda that instead of, “shit” or “shite” as I was attempting, I _instead_ proclaimed, “SCHEIßE!”
    I am not from Germany, nor do I speak the language.

  • @RatLady-mv3lx
    @RatLady-mv3lx 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I was talking to someone the other day. I tried to end the conversation by saying "Have a good day!" and "Buh-bye!". I looked her directly in her eyes and said "Happy Birthday." and walked away. It was not her birthday.

  • @Jaimon-kw1tf
    @Jaimon-kw1tf ปีที่แล้ว +241

    I played trombone all through middle school, and once a kid poked his head into the aisle on the bus and I hit him with my case. I tried to say "are you ok" and "sorry" and ended up very aggressively telling him "are you sorry!" Never living it down

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Now that reminds me of one time when I was gonna order..
      when I was gonna ask for a
      “Caramel Macchiato”
      My brain thought of something completely else
      I ended up saying:
      Can I have a mosquito please?
      💀
      And then 4 mins later bumbing into my friend and I tried to say
      “OPSIE DAISY” and “FUCK ME NOT AGAIN” at the same time.
      I loudly proclaimed publicly. “OH FUCK ME DAISY” 😭
      HIS NAME IS ARON.

    • @AliasEliahus
      @AliasEliahus ปีที่แล้ว +13

      i don't know why but this one absolutely destroyed me😂

    • @anushascott1512
      @anushascott1512 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      WELL THANK GOD HE WASN'T CALLED DAISY💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@anushascott1512 LOL

    • @albinocat
      @albinocat ปีที่แล้ว

      @@KadeoAVvalentineOH FUCK ME DAISY in the most Mario accent possible is hilarious

  • @KASANATION
    @KASANATION ปีที่แล้ว +164

    I asked my dad for a drink of his water cup since I didn’t have one. I have no FLIPPIN clue what I was trynna say, but I said,” Moshie” while making eye contact. I was also smiling hunched over after waking up from a 3 hour nap. This happened months ago and I’m still confused. 🤷‍♀️

    • @shotosynthesis312
      @shotosynthesis312 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Your brain hadn't woken up yet

    • @KASANATION
      @KASANATION ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@shotosynthesis312 yeah haha

    • @Sr.Anonimo-bk1uz
      @Sr.Anonimo-bk1uz ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sorry but from the story I cant imagine you as anything but a baby

    • @dj-murlock
      @dj-murlock ปีที่แล้ว +10

      > approach dad
      > "Moshie :}"
      > stare intensely

    • @KASANATION
      @KASANATION ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@dj-murlock y e s

  • @limonroe8953
    @limonroe8953 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    During a film summer camp I was trying my hand at directing and wanted to say "lets practice that scene again" and "maybe we can try a different angle next" which of course came out of my mouth, "let practice sex!"

  • @disheartenedboi
    @disheartenedboi ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I accidentally shoulder checked my manager at a busy coffee shop. I tried to say “Are you okay?!” and “Sorry!” at the same time and accidentally said “Are you sorry?!”

  • @mushroomy9899
    @mushroomy9899 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    Once tried to say “Matt” and “rose” at the same time and said “voluptuous ass” (true story)

  • @trahnoelnikana5791
    @trahnoelnikana5791 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    Mixed “put your hands in the air” and “get on the ground” as a police officer in improv, ended up yelling “put your hands on the ground!”

    • @KadeoAVvalentine
      @KadeoAVvalentine ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Reminds me of one time when I was going to say that I just blurted out
      “CONTINUE KILLING”
      I WAS ONLY 17!