Reddit and what's the best thing you've ever overheard
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ส.ค. 2021
- I was taking a beachside stroll where a sand sculptor had made a figure of a labrador lying down. As I passed I heard one grown woman turn to the other and earnestly ask "I wonder how he trains his dog to lay so still under that sand.."
Two girls talking to each other on my college campus: "But like, what's the opposite of a coconut?"
thats a tunococ
An incredible question. Best answer to this wins.
Simply an inside out coconut.
ok hear my out its a pineapple because i dont like coconuts they make me feel like a tangerine pineapples make me feel like peaches
@@Matt_Rose its the ocean, since coconuts have water inside and some weird brown shit outside, while the ocean has water outside and shit(and probably cum too) on the inside
"his flesh,it screams,it screams constantly"
-my grandma
... Jesus Christ
Has the flesh stopped screaming yet?
@@cupwasneverhere _Constantly_
Did- did you ever get context for that..?
Is your grandma okay?
"Dad, are there alligators here?" "No, alligators don't live in fresh water." "But this isn't fresh water...this is dirty water." I almost died.
But... alligators do live in freshwater.
I had a similar misconception. I once thought dirty airflow was just that, but then i found out its just when an airflow doesn't flow straight and unevenly. Fun fact the Dodge Charger Daytona and Plymouth Road Runner SuperBird had such gigantic wings so they could get into the clean air above the roof witch provides more down force
Nothing about that was correct
Alligators do live in freshwater, it's Crocodiles that live in saltwater. Those people had more than one thing wrong lol
@@nesyboi9421 Crocodiles don’t exclusively live in saltwater either
I once heard some seventh graders say
“It’s not kidnapping, it’s surprise adoption”
“Jesus Christ Blake”
SURPRISE ADOPTION OMFG😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭
😅😅🤣🤣👏👏
Positive thinking!!!
i have a Blake at my school, and he would totally say something like that lmao
That's a tumblr post from the early 2010s...
How do middle schoolers always know tumblr posts they were barely alive to see?
@@empirebeachplease I do too 😭
One time in health class we had to organize reproductive anatomy based on which sex it corresponded with. Overheard a classmate saying "According to my fanfiction, that should be both"
W H A T
Hahahahaha, someone's reading Omegaverse haha!
@@conlon4332My guess was futa.
@@gamingandwhatevs What's a futa
@@disintegr8
Thats something for you to discover when you inevitably search it up.
Once heard a girl say "Bahamas means trash island in Danish" I'm Danish and it certainly doesn't.
Just wondering what does trash mean in danish?
@@oofkingthe2nd812 trash is "Skrald" and island is "ø" so it isn't similar to Bahamas at all.
@@Kolle4732 Skraldø ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
dane gang
@@CSharpDCS danish is weird :P
“I got this rubber duck from the dentist.”
“His name is Gerald.”
“….I LOVE Gerald.”
Wait, is the duck or the dentist named Gerald?
@@AvocadoToast06 both the duck was named after the dentist
@@agentwolfo101 The dentist was named after the duck...
Jerold 😳
:)
Was walking by someone on a call and heard “HOW THE F*CK DID YOU BURN WATER, MATTHEW?!”
sans did that as well
@@lorelaimorace-kk1xz Did he really?
Papyrus before he turned to a skeleton
Matthew is a wizard
papyrus
papyrus i did it again
i burnt the water
please help
My grandad is hilarious. He likes to throw people off and make them confused. He once said, just as two young guys were walking by “thats how I got my head stuck in the dishwasher” lol love him
grand dad
Perfect
@@hhgreggs_wifechiptune Flintstones theme starts playing
grand
“You’re about as threatening as a grain of rice.”
“Exactly! Very threatening!”
to be fair that is pretty threatening. imagine laying in bed and you sit up and there’s just a singular grain of rice on the floor
@@eggchomp I'd just vacuum it up or put it in the trash, no threat at all lol
honestly I’d be terrified if I just saw a random grain of rice, literally by itself
@@apollosdread especially if you don’t/haven’t eaten rice recently
I imagine you walk into a normally very messy room, and everything is just gone, with only a single grain of rice under an inexplicable spotlight in the exact center of the floor. Horrifying
once i heard my director tell a castmate: "i have your bones in my car." just, in passing, completely casually, and the other person knew what she meant and just nodded. still not sure about the context for that one.
I have several ideas of what might be going on there:
- could be props for something
- legitimate bones of an animal
- assisted murder
Maybe fake bo es made for fun
Director and castmate means that this sounds like acting, so for both a movie and a play it would probably be a prop.
Could be for home making stock, people often use bones
Or dog bones for their dog.
Hear my next door neighbor screaming at her kids outside "STOP POURING LETTUCE ON THE DOG"
Among a lot of weird shit that I overheard in the army, this one takes the #1.
"So why'd you fall?"
"A bunch of FSS guys were dancing Lezginka at the parade ground, I was trying to see it better and ended up falling (off of top bunk)".
"Was it the same night, where someone stole the diving suit to scare the night watch with it?"
"Yeah."
This also the best joke I’ve overheard:
“Hey ***, what can a elevator do that my dad can’t?”
“I don’t know. what can it do?”
“Raise a child.”
this is funny and painful at the same time.
@@peteryoung2422 where is the painful part
@@I-am-stupid278 cuz my dad couldnt do what an elevator could.
Relatable
Holy s- lmao
One time my older brother was extremely sick, had a fever and wasn’t making any sense, overheard him say “Mom… are we in the witness protection program?”
I can top that-one time I was in bed all day after being up vomiting from 2 am to 6 am. I woke up at like 9 pm (I think) and asked my mom if I was in Namibia (FYI, I live in California)
Once I overheard a girl say, “Emily can you please stop getting sturdy during serious conversations” I almost died.
Sounds like a conversation at my school
I NEED CONTEXT 😭😭
lol
"have you gone to the casino"
"yes, I lost 100 dollars"
"that sounds reasonable"
idk why this is funny to me
Well that isn't wrong
As a former casino employee, I can confirm the loss of $100 is reasonable.
Sounds perfectly normal.
It's the better of two bad
“How do you feel about your great grandmother being a pineapple?”
“Well I was confused at first”
well i guess that would be most peoples first reaction
at first what happened after
* visibly confused *
Flip the pineapple over, Morty.
The prequel:
"When exactly did you lose your mind?"
"Three months ago. I woke up married to a pineapple! An _ugly_ pineapple... but I loved her."
Does it count as overheard if they yelled it in the lunchroom?
*Group of friends sings happy birthday, applause*
One kid at the top of his lungs: *_"FUCK YEAH, HE'S LEGAL!"_*
Oki this is pretty funny in an awkward way
Okay I know I’m very late but I just wanted somewhere to share this. Health class in high school, I had a friend who was VERY loud. Just a loud talker. And our class was not loud at all. We were all upperclassmen and no one wanted to be there.
So my friend and I (initiated by him) had so many deep conversations that EVERYONE heard. It was a little awkward and I tried to tell him people were totally listening, and he told me he didn’t care. Great for him.
So I had another, more quiet friend in the class who sat fully across the room from us. In a conversation with them at lunch, they said “oh yeah, I can hear every word of what you guys are saying.”
At the end of the semester, the teacher (whose desk was right next to ours) told us she listened to our conversations regularly, which was not surprising.
I apologized, and she corrected me- “no, thank you for talking. It was so interesting.”
I don’t remember everything we said, but my friend’s humor is basically morbidity meets science. He tried to figure out how to blow up the moon with a laser.
Oh, and I know I definitely got all my work done, but the same cannot be said for my friend.
So here’s a random long comment about someone I no longer talk to on a video that was posted a year ago. Have a lovely day, reader. :)
Thanks :)
Thanks! You too! :)
Was his name Gru?
@@christinae30 Nope
“how to blow up the moon with a laser”
…waz the laser specifically Super Laser Piss? /ref
Two elderly women on bicycles:
"He can`t just disappear, he's scheduled to marry tomorrow!"
I wonder how that turned out...
Sounds a grandmother in a Disney movie whose grandson is betrothed to a rich/pretty girl or something
That's like the most likely time when people choose to disappear...
Are you sure she's not just referring to the movie plot of "The Hangover"?
Or Infinity War!
Here’s one:
From a library,
“So a vampire is just a werebat?”
“No, I am not accepting that.”
Amusing…but the first speaker is on to something there.
Actually, a vampire would likely not be a were-bat, because of all the 1,300 species of bats in the world, only three of them actually practice hematophagy. So a vampire is much more likely to be a were-arthropod of some kind, since most land-dwelling external hematophagous parasites are arthropods, such as arachnids like ticks and mites or insects like fleas and mosquitoes.
@@Munchkin.Of.Pern09 this is too filled with knowledge for my pea brain to understand
@@Munchkin.Of.Pern09 This seems like a false equivalency considering the whole idea of vampires is that they DO turn into bats, not any type of arthropod. Plus why not assume they only transform into bat species that drink blood.
@@Munchkin.Of.Pern09 I like your funny words, magic man.
Teacher: I like the haircut
Student: Thanks it was an accident
Laughing for a 1.5 minutes after the priest said "you did what?"
I wish to have that kind of energy 💀
When I was in school I heard a teacher say, "It was, dare I say, moist."
Still iconic
Tell me why this lowkey sounds like a Professor McGonagall quote.
@@Lokear Teacher saying "_____ is/was, dare I say, _____"
M O I S T
@@august8185 What a legend
@@august8185 Dayum
I actually have an entire book of quotes like this but my favourite is "“I refer to my ass as America, because it shits out random stuff”
Give me the book
Your book spitting facts
I need this book.
As an American, I can confirm, I shat out a bowling pin last week
@@karnickel-s33d16 Had the notification on this cut off at "I shat" forgot about this comment and pissed myself laughing
Walking to class when I heard a group talking and sitting at a bench nearby, and a boy I know said, “…and he dragged his balls on my head!” I whipped my head back at them and one of them started dying laughing at the realization that they’d been overheard.
He sounds like he was talking about a pet
🤨
Ever since I saw this video I’ve been writing down things I’ve overheard in school. So far the list is:
“I’M JUST IN LOVE WITH SPIDER-MAN, OK?!!”
“She looked exactly like a carrot!”
“Salmonella doesn’t exist, it can’t hurt you.”
“Flowers are better than modern medicine.”
“What nice shapes you have, Grandma.”
"It's not paw-patrol, I swear!"
“PLANTS DESERVE RIGHTS TOO!!”
"I'm not so sure about this whole shrimp thing."
"Math place of Horrors!"
"His hair looks like mustard!"
"Go away Adelina, nobody loves you."
"ADELINA JUST LICKED MY NOSE!!"
Edit: Here’s some new ones!
“The most iconic buns in history!"
"Im not gonna eat that! It's from the sky!"
"I AM the Lorax. I speak for the TREES."
"It looks SO much better without a face!"
“Another Drug Slug.”
“I’ve eaten two raw onions today.”
"I saw a guy fucking a pigeon to assert dominance."
“He’s bullying my nose!”
“You want a garlic clove?”
Edit 2: Some more have appeared 😏
"You think about death too much."
"You look like a dead, blue spider."
"Your kneecaps will be mine!"
"When I laugh I sound like a lawnmower"
"Can I eat your nose?"
"Yay it's lunch! I can read! About murder!"
"I WANT TO EAT YOUR KNEES!!"
"Let's work on the drug video"
“A mac and cheese milkshake, WTF"
"Pedro Pony is my best friend"
"Why do you have a toilet brush in your bag?"
"Yeah, and if you like, press the button, it tortures him-" (Said by a teacher)
"Omg I WILL CUT YOU OPEN JSUT TO SEE WHAT YOUR INSIDES LOOK LIKE."
“I literally just swallowed plastic”
“Why are your bones so strange?”
I CANT STOP LAUGHING WHAT
BRUH THAT POOR PIGEON
Also what the fuck did Adelina do?
poor adelina
also i too am in love with spider-man (/p)
is Adelina sane???
One I heard.
You talk so common. It's not aint, it's HAINT.
"I don't care what my dog says, he's guilty!"
That haunts me for years! WHAT WAS THE DOG GUILTY ABOUT??
I’m more concerned about the fact that their dog can speak??
I want to know what the dog said!
@@ahobbit1273 all dogs and cats can speak...?
What da dog doin
@@sain_t_ you beat me to it
I once walked past a group of people talking and someone said “Who ya gonna call? Ghost mustard!” And almost burst into laughter.
When your hotdog tastes
Like a piece of wood!
Who ya gonna call?
GHOST MUSTARD!
Nyaha I heard a similar conversation once except the person yelled out SOMEONE ELSE
That happens to me more often than it should
It's always shit when you overhear a hilarious conversation between total strangers and you have to stifle your giggles or risk being looked at weird
BHAHA
In my Dungeons and Dragons campaign I've heard some random things when I'm not paying attention. One of my favourites include:
"I don't care, gimme a chip!... that was not a chip!"
As well as
"I usually dip my bread in toast."
and
"I didn't have an emo phase... I tried!"
But my favourite overheard quote came from a work friend, who was talking to a customer on the phone:
"Go out there in your towel! Show those neighbours who's boss!"
“Being annoying is not a reason to light someone on fire” is a favorite of mine
I zoned out when I shouldn't have while DMing and my players began to argue with each other. "HHNsigjNS STOP CALLING ME FANCYCLOTHES"
You did Ur BREAD in TOAST!?!?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!
“And that’s why you should never snog a woob”
-My friend at D&D
@@_AstaLily Dafuq does that mean?
Walking by the men's locker room at school. Hear "Mine's bigger!"
Later found out one had a Nintendo Switch OLED and the other had a Nintendo Switch Lite
Lemme guess. You thought it was... oh you know.
@@HVY526 obviously the new iPhone
Once in a high school history class I took, a classmate arrived late to class, and when asked why, he sincerely proclaimed "I went on a quest." No further explanation was ever provided.
"TEACHER, I WENT TO BEAT THE FEARSOME DRAGON OF EISENDALE!"
"whatever John, just get to your seat."
My mom, after having the health benefits of **canola** oil explained to her (after chubby 12 year old me was put on a diet): "But you're not supposed to have granola" 😶
Physics class I think. The teo students said they missed the bus. The teacher said that wasn't creative and demanded they come up with something else. One ended up saying he had helped a granny cross the road, and the other that he had had to help his classmate because apparently helping a granmy across the road was too hard for him
Loved that teacher's sense of humour that day
I appreciate that!
@@pauline_f328 Are you 100% certain you weren't actually in a Creative Writing class?
I swear seeing a British man reading reddit is like a lucid dream
some of the best content ever
which is weird considering that there were a lot of posts that seem to have been written by british english speakers in the first place
Most text to speech voices have sorta British accents tho
soothouse flkashbacks
@@qwoolrat rip soothouse :(
I once argued with one classmate about what it would be like if you could give birth to coffee. Everyone who overheard it was traumatized.
What led up to that? It sounds like the most unholy curse to ever be afflicted by.
@@wrongnumber9389 One of our teachers left the classroom to get a cup of coffee and so we started talking about other ways of getting coffee. She then came back and stared at us like ok what is this about and do I wanna know it.
I have a similar story. My friends kept talking about how to shove a carrot up someone's arse
i was talking to my brother about a conversation he overheard as he was walking home through a park. just try to take the following sentence seriously:
"and bro, i swear to god, i woke up covered head to toe in chicken wings."
im sorry what-
“covered head to toe in chicken wings” I’d love to know what happened that had this person covered in chicken wings 💀💀
@@axrrow_ me too honestly 😂
I need context
What the fuck?
same energy as "to make a long story short, i put a whole bag of jellybeans up my-"
The “ mom when I grow up I want to be bamboo” reminded me of what my maybe three-year-old neighbor said after I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said, and I quote, “ I want to be shiny”
Shiny is something you're born with, though it can become more or less obvious with age, depending.
(before anyone misunderstands, this is a Pokémon joke.)
Ah, obviously a young Firefly fan. 😉
*SHINY!* Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck
Scrub the deck and make it look
she has definitely watched Moana too many times
My brothers friend used to say he wanted to be a piggy bank when he was a kid. So he practiced by swallowing coins.
"So soup is a drink?"
"If you eat water with a spoon"
This still makes me laugh whenever I remember it
I swear, I had a conversation that went JUST like that.
_Drinks soup with a Straw_
i mean i pretend hot chocolate is soup
I had an argument over whether soup is a drink or a food, we came to the conclusion that it depends on the consistency and viscosity of the soup
It depends on which country you're from. In Japan soups are classified as drinks, therefore you colloquially drink a soup. I personally eat soup because I for one anecdotally believe soups are food, despite me being born in Japan myself because I was raised in the US and I have a decent sense of sanity. SOUP IS NOT A DRINK!
"I heard he got arrested"
"Oh, like Harry Potter"
I heard the same two lines of conversation twice in the same year
Edit: why did the replies become r/askoujia
a
@@acgaming007 b
@@BFDIandTADCandMORE c
@@Charlie_Pupp3t d
@@acgaming007 e
You know it’s bad when you’re in confession and the priest says “you did what?!”
I was at work at a public park when a father and little girl got out of a car nearby. The girl was crying, in the way grumpy children often do. The father looked her in the eye, and in a stern and slightly threatening manner, he said, "Do you want to go back to Taco Bell?"
At this, the girl cried even harder.
Jesus Christ, how bad was the Taco Bell
@@EmiPlayzMC I think the girl just understands the aftermath and doesn’t want to go through it again.
I, too, would start crying if I was forced to be sent to Taco Bell
I felt this, I hate mexican food
Unironically I would do this even if I liked Taco Bell
I've once overheard someone say:
"I hate going into fireworks tents, they just smell so bad. They should put in scented candles or something."
Silence
"WAIT NO"
underrated, this is the best comment here
Easily how dumb I am
Hello Star
WHY IS THIS SOMETHING I WOULD SAY-
HELP
@@essixthefalcon8657 Hello!
Once I had a teacher that carried a plastic potato in the water bottle pocket on his backpack, when I asked him about it he told me it’s so people would ask him about it.
Never really stopped mentally giggling about it
I once overheard a guy say, "when I have kids I don't want them to be fat like me so I'm gonna put a lock on the fridge." His friend was like, "or you could just put healthy food in the fridge." He responded in a completely neutral tone, "yeah, but I don't want to eat healthy."
WHEEZE WHAT IS THIS 😭💀
fat guy got his priories right
once heard a kid who couldn't be any older than 10 say "im gonna run through donald trump's weave" before running through a wheat field
haven't forgotten about it since
Edit: what the replies doin-
that kid's a natural comedian
@@skullchimes yeah
He’s got a promising future, that’s for sure.
The worst part is I can't tell if "weave" is a typo or not
@@gewinnersieger If Trump gets re-elected, he won't have one
“The moon is perfect.”
“That’s a streetlight.”
“Oh.”
Had me in tears
Happened to me too, so many times
has almost the same energy as “oh no my caterpillar never turned into a butterfly!” “ That’s a cheeto.” “oh.”
Its that feeling of realization that the "oh" gives to the sentence like 3rd person omniscient in the realization that someone might be a little retardo
@@myagirl1997 i remember that lol
That made me chuckle too
I overheard this trio of girls when I went to a mall with my parents and the one thing I heard was, " if you eat your textbook, wouldn't you get all the information in your head?" the other one replied "Idk, lets find out." in such a serious tone of voice that I was actually scared for their sanity. Every week I wonder what they are doing now.
Group of girls talking about what organ of the human body they'd be
"You give off spleen vibes"
"I think I'd make a good bone"
"She can't handle that I make a good a ribcage"
“I don’t like that guy, he looks prejudiced” is such comedic genius
To me that was the funniest quote in the whole video
You look so superficial, you probably judge things by their physical appearance!
"i dont like that guy, he looks... prejudiced."
i feel as if this is related to hypocrisy
"I'm only prejudiced against prejudiced people"
that, or it's a really good one-liner
Honestly hilarious
You look so superficial, you probably judge things based on their physical appearance.
@@W.H.V. you look like a YT commenter so much, you could make women die of a heart attack.
I found one of my overheard convos on reddit. This is what I said to my mate as we walked out of a co op.
"I might not even have dyslexia, I might just have brain damage."
Did not expect to find it on a comment on reddit.
I was eating at a place and i heard a baby and a mother talking (i forgot what) but all i heard was "i told you NOT to agree with me!" followed by a baby going "heheh"
Nahh my English SUCKED
I was sitting at a pub and heard a nearby man tell his friends “See, if you leave the germs on it, it keeps for longer.”
WHAT LOL
Maybe he was talking about fruit? If you store your fruit without washing them, they usually last longer because of the products some markets put on them so they will spoil slower. People associate washing fruit with getting rid of germs
Or eggs?
Or human organs?
@@ayyteen What?
“Oh for fuck’s sake, I’m bisexual, not the reincarnated spirit of Aleister Crowley.”
I heard a 20 something year old guy say that into his phone. It was the only bit of the conversation I heard.
Bisexuality was the least of Crowley's crimes.
The context is no doubt unthinkable
OK I would kill to be the reincarnated spirit of Aleister Crowley.
Probably talking on the phone with his Christian parents from the looks of it.
That sounds exactly like something the reincarnated spirit of Aleister Crowley would say 👀
While I was walking behind a group of friends on a small walkway, I happened to overhear a good bit of their conversation.
"Yeah when I was in middle school, I looked like a fucking nerd. I had braces, wore glasses, and had bangs. It was bad" with their entire group laughing at the idea.
Cut to me walking behind them with braces, huge glasses, and messy bangs. I didn't know what I should feel.
Two boys were talking right next to me back in school. One of them told the other: “you don’t need to be gay to find another man attractive.” Then proceed to look at the other deeply in the eyes, “like you. I find *you* very attractive.”
😳
The only right choice in that situation is to turn to them, say "hold on, let me see?" stare at their face for a couple seconds, then nod and say "Yep, you are right" then walk off -into the sunset-
Yikes
🤨
Who's gonna tell them?
Honestly that drunk girl yelling for I assume her friend Marco is relatable. I couldn't imagine losing someone named Marco in a crowd. Nightmare
I didn’t even think about that lol
"Marco! :("
About 30 people: "POLO!"
Nightmare for her BUT probably perfect for Marco. He can use some kind of echolocation to find her.
Just follow the POLOs! Its either a game or someone frantically looking for you. Win/Win....
I may name my child Marco...
Damnnit star. How did you lose track of the safe kid? Normally he loses track of you
"I like soup" is the best thing I've ever overhead. It filled my heart with joy.
I've heard people saying that too. This one person mainly..
@@Matt_Rose he sounds like a pretty cool guy
@@JasonPullara souper cool
how could you not like soup?
@@tacohead8543 I'm not sick, duh
"crocodiles have triangles..."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CROCODILES HAVE TRIANGLES???"
how else are they supposed to play music?
@@hisupwassup
With a trombone, like a *_normal_* crocodile!
Once a women on the phone at the park (walking my dog).
“NO! With AN ‘i’!!”
Short silence
“FUCK YOU, FELIX!”
I hope Felix and that woman are on better terms now.
Once walked into my French class a heard a girl say: "its on wattpad, does that count?" No other context
I can almost bet that was a response to a question about a book she read like ‘ok so I’ve not read any ‘actual’ books but does reading a 50,000 word fic on wattpad count?’ I am one of a group of English Lit students like we CHOSE to do literature as a qualification and 90% of the time if we’re asked what we read we go ‘uhhh does fanfiction count?’
@@vampirelibrarian777 Yeah, I think it counts. It's sometimes difficult finding well written stuff on wattpad though... not that I know from experience
@@vampirelibrarian777 I mean my friend read that 500k word Mario fanfiction once and was able to count it towards her reading
@@Minceraft69 we ended up having full on discussions about this during the class do not worry, it ended up being that if the story was novel length or longer and like,,, formatted like a novel would be, it doesn’t matter if it’s fanwork or a wattpad original story or w/e (so I got a decent mileage out of that 200,000 word Buffy fanfic I once stayed up all night reading), we’ve also had discussions about the best site with most of us being AO3 fans with one or two girls being wattpad fans,,, yeah genuinely an interesting class ngl
@@jadejunnie3285 wow shit that’s so long and yeah even if you’re not in a class that allows it (before my Further English Lit, my highschool English class forced us to do reading and we never got to discuss fanfic never mind count it towards our reading) you can try get it to go towards your reading anyway?? as long as you describe it like a book but leave out/lie about things that could flag up that it’s not,,, a ‘normal’ book (this is an entire well of niche ass knowledge I have,,,, for some reason)
On the Eiffel tower: "Are we in Paris?"
"I don't know"
That's just sad...
well, the city is probably not as had been advertised; I can understand the confusion
sounds like two heroes being dropped from the heavens after a dazed battle with the king of the cosmos
@@screamindog8772 ya
maybe they were the ones in Paris
I once said "next time you see a cat, look at it"
It made perfect sense in context, but my classmates who overheard me on the other side of the classroom had no idea what I was on about.
A friend of mine is really into gory stuff, and we often talk about how we would murder someone. She's a really nice person and would never actually murder anyone, but if someone heard us talking, they would be terrified.
"I know where he lives, and I could use my bow and arrow, or the hammer I keep under my bed"
I once overheard a guy say "You're dead to me. Your cat is even more dead to me."
😂😂😂
I love your username
Man, what could the cat have done that would be *that* bad?
@@rainbow_vader Death.
I'm a writer. Sometimes I have conversations with my other writer friend. I often wonder if people are over hearing us.
“I killed Samuel and now Marie is pissed. What should I do?”
“Just let her suffer. It'll be entertaining.”
HAHAHA LMAO
I read and write a lot of fanfiction, and the most surreal thing I’ve ever read is someone talking about “their first time killing Palpatine” in the author’s notes.
I had to write something for school and i was talking to my friend and said to her: "Yeah i almost killed Amelia." She then replied: "Why would you do that?!" And i finally said: "Because i like to see her bleed". I hope no one heard it without context.
This is gods plan
Similar conversations used to happen a lot between Sims players 😂
A few weeks ago, my 4 yr old son woke up in the night and insisted on coming into the bathroom with me. I look over and he’s standing on his step stool, bent towards the mirror, looking deeply at himself and in a very quiet voice he said “Should I drink the soap….”
😂😂😂
"Now, far be it for me to become the 'read things out from Reddit' guy, but"
*2 years later*
I was looking for this comment lol
Drunk (incredibly posh) guys sat behind us at a cricket match:
“Is there a KFC in Durham”
“Why do you care? You’re vegan”
“Yeah I know but I’m also pescatarian so that means I eat meat but not fish”
“Isn’t it the other way round?”
“No I don’t think so. And I would know. Now answer my question, IS THERE A KFC IN DURHAM?!”
He then immediately started talking about something else, entirely forgetting the question he was once so passionate about. We never got an answer 😔
According to google maps Durham does in fact have a kfc
@@smrtfasizmu7242thanks for clearing it up*\0/*
@@tacohead8543 but now I'm so troubled that that posh guy thinks chickens are a type of fish
@@smrtfasizmu7242 Read the first comment again
@@Hekik-jh6vp AHHHHHHHHHH IT'S EVEN WORSE WHY WOULD YOU CORRECT ME WHEN I WAS ONLY PUZZLED BEFORE!!!!!
My favorite gems have to be
"Can turtles piss?"
"I think they can."
as well as
"... and that's how your supposed to hide the body!"
And if you tell anyone I said that, I'm going to have a second demonstration on how to hide a body.
@@zacharyyoungblood7013 Helen if you find this guys address call the 👮
i feel like they meant hiding the body in a video game but thats hilarious either way
I feel that i should clarify that the second one was yelled, passionately, during the middle of my 7th grade health class, and I don't know if that makes it better or worse
Dude, if it was me who overheard the last one, I would keep my distance as much as possible. Lol. Especially if I’m alone.
one day in a hallway, I heard a conversation that ended with; "Chase, YOU'RE a fire alarm!"
“…and that’s how a bagel sent me to the emergency room.” Said someone on Sound Transit. I wish I heard the rest of that, that sounds like an interesting story.
enby gaming
@@MikanTsumikiTV engineer gaming but computer engineering?
@@MikanTsumikiTV More like "mental illness gaming," including your own PFP.
Sounds like an episode of sex sent me to the er
i need to know the story
"Imagine we used calories as money..."
"Then we'd all be as fat as you!"
Teen girls take no prisoners
Ong
The girl was actually anorexic. They were remarking on the failing economic viability of late stage capitalism, and it's effects on the youth of today
@@Bubbly_Dragon What
@@littlelemon3465 there's always one of those.
@@Bubbly_Dragon Industrial Society and it's Future
I heard this one while grocery shopping with my dad.
“You did not!”
“I didn’t know what a glass eye was!”
Today I was walking down a staircase and I overheard two boys saying "Wait, you got a dog?" and then "No, my brother is a furry." I can't with my school
Most normal middle school conversations
💀
@@plumjet0930what's middle school
@@Thegoldenaerobar2 google
@@Thegoldenaerobar2 The place you go between elementary and high school. Absolute hell, would NOT recommend. ☺️☺️☺️
My favourite I overheard:
"So you're a swimmer?"
"No, I don't trust it"
"You don't trust swimming? "
CACKLING
That sounds like Seinfeld dialogue.
Conversation I was a spectator to at work:
guy: "You ever eat strawberries? I bought some strawberries and I've just been like, eating 'em RAW."
gal: "Well, uh, I've tried BLUEberries..."
guy again: "Blueberries??? NAHHHH, I don't mess with THAT shit"
...I think I might've worked with aliens
@@cam4636 .. can you cook a strawberry? imagine doing that-
you have worked with aliens
They don’t trust the *sharks,* obviously.
My family tends to do this on purpose. Once my mother and my sister were on an elevator, and Mom, out of the blue, turned to her and asked her if she had fed the gorilla.
I keep a record of my favourites:
“I smell child”
“Noah you got stabbed you have to go to the hospital”
“I’m not that juicey”
“You can drive the bus so I can drive one of those really nice vans”
“That’s her logic, she thinks her boyfriend broke Robert!”
“That’s what the kick in the ass means, George Weasley”
“He’s a shit disturber RIGHT!”
“YOU GET ME A NEW ONE….. tomorrow”
“Especially if they keep dumping kids on it!”
“I feel bad about the morgue”
“All meat or im going to another country”
“I’m glad they’re learning not to push….platypuses”
Sorry, I am just thinking about your neck and your ears.
So what is it drugs or something?
Today I saved my friend from a bunch of flying balls
It takes a lot to get me going
“i’d rather get a ticket than project a dog out the windshield
I wonder how many busses will end up in a bitch
Robotic voice: LMAO asshole
And in one breath…..
🎶I saw the devil in his nuts🎶
Just spit in his face already!
^JUST SPIT IN HIS FACE ALREADY^
Will there be any topples twerking at this party
Now that’s one thing I don’t want touching me while I’m using the bathroom
Oh no don’t be so feisty
That’s not a penalty, he only punched him in the head!
Alexa will lick you
Then I just walk into the dressing room and interrupt their party
Most of these were from my bus, and my bus driver
Here before this blows up.
@@user-hh3rn7bu7d me too
Two girls waiting in line behind me:
“… and it was a testicle”
“Yeah, but where did it come from?”
“I don’t know. But it was a testicle!”
“Huh, weird. Maybe from the horse?”
Different girls on a supermarket parking lot:
“Why the fuck did you buy cheese?!”
(Other girl, almost crying) “I swear didn’t buy it!!”
I relate to cheese girl when lying
cheese girl is my spirit animal
So the cheese girl was probably being vegan or something, but the horse testicle simply defies logic
@@colemanbubar5098 maybe they live in a rural place where they have horses and other animals. Maybe one was mauled by a wild animal or something and... well they lost one.
Best I’ve heard was “the woman claimed the raccoon had been smoking too much marijuana” on the radio in Texas
That is just nuts, there is no way anyone can smoke too much marijuana.
TIL i am a texan racoon
Sounds like something that’d be on the GTA radio 😂
Yup, that's Texas
I like that it implies there is a correct amount for raccoons to smoke
A little girl on an escalator getting up from a subway station: "Mum, are we in space?" After her mum told her they were definitely not in space, she asked "Where is the sky then?". We were underground and there was a roof above
Once I was walking to my locker and I heard someone in the crowded hallway shout “THERES A GARDEN GNOME ON MY BACK”
My favorite thing I have randomly overheard is the statement "My parents met because they were visiting the same aunt."
*_SWEET HOME ALABAMA_*
This sentence could mean many things... and I don't like the one the 2 above me got from it.
...
*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
😨
They could be from different sides of the family and therefore have no blood relations.
*you WHAT?!*
"I don't like mushrooms, but if I choose to eat them, that's MY choice!"
I respect this person, tbh.
I.. I have said that exact sentence. That may have been me
@@tobypossum7386 Did you eat the Mushrooms
Me with lettuce
@@tobypossum7386 Context. Now.
@@tobypossum7386 cap
I have an entire LIST of out-of-contexts on my phone, here are some faves:
"its called ✨child labor ✨"
"I can't remember if I've ever been in a cult."
"I AM NOT WRITING A [school name] FANFIC WITH YOU!"
(Passing by) "So if someone in an arm cast and they neck break-"
"How'd we go from femboys to cantaloupe..."
"Anything can land you in prison if you're good enough at it!"
"So Im in the store and they playin Pumped Up Kicks right? But its like, yassified???"
"First Wyoming a state and now Detroit is in New York!?"
During a smoke stop on a cross-country Amtrak trip: "I woke up covered in sunflower seeds." That was the *only* piece of the conversation I heard.
More recently: "Bus drivers don't like it when you pee on their bus."
Two kids walking through Walmart:
“They have Skylanders.”
“I’ll sky *your* lander.”
I don't know if thats a threat or an offer-??
bruh was that me?
My family does this constantly. When someone says something out of the blue it gets turned into an exchange. Ex:
1- "Can you grab Poptarts when you go?"
2- "You're a Poptart."
1- "Your mom's a Poptart."
2- "I'll pop your tart in the back of the head with a rock."
OR "I'll grab your Poptart in the back of the head with a rock."
🤷🏼♀️Whatever you're feeling in the moment.
@@greysonholtz A potential proposition
@@JessicaKennedy367 That's basically me and my friends. Anything can be compared to your face or your mom.
Woman on phone: "Yes! I mean it!" *Silence* "Mhm! Rodger, I swear to God!" *Silence* "I'm serious! Mushrooms have no moral backbone!"
Morel backbone, more like.
@@michaelleue7594 I love you
@@b0r3d4rt1stry i dont
"....extant form of life...."
@@michaelleue7594 great now I have to find the bleach
I was walking through the hallway at school once and with no context whatsoever I heard a teacher saying to her class "imagine I saw you eating a banana"
One time in band these 2 kids were arguing and one said to the other “You can’t just slap my ass cuz you’re angry!”
Overheard in the cafeteria at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory: "It would probably only kill about half a million people, give or take"
I saw the D&D movie with a friend a few weeks ago and we were talking about how we needed to kill an owlbear (creature in D&D lore) in order to get to Hell in a campaign once
@@daynamorris2399 Kill an owlbear and every single fan of Doric will be at your doorstep with pitchforks and torches.
@@sidneythespottedtabby It's a very weird, very long story
Can you divulge what they were working on
@@TranslucentGanonprobably the whole launch a rocket with nukes and hope it doesn't explode all at once thing
I once said "The only thing that stops me from robbing people is my morality" while walking with a friend and some guy passing us by just gave me a wtf look
You're not wrong
Same thing happened to me, we passed by a bike tied to a pole by a chain with a four number combination lock. I said: "Ha, I could easily steal that" and a guy passing by just stopped and gave me a wtf look
I said "So moral of the story that's how a shampoo conditioner two and one traumatized me" I'll never forget this boys side glance at me and then back at hid dad.
@@amayazingamaya9622 please tell the story
@@Closemusic16 It smelled like pepper and got in my eyes. I almost passed out from the fumes lol
I once heard some fellow students on my campus say, "Yeahh I remember Mr. Ratburn!!" it was 3 buff dudes reminiscing about that old Arthur show on PBS.
Also one time in middle school I heard two kids talking to each other. One exclaimed, "YOU STOLE THE MOON?!" and the other loudly shushed their friend. I decided it was none of my business but I will always wonder what the story behind that was
“STOP IT! YOUR ABUSING MY RIGHT HAND!”
“Thats your left hand”
I overheard lots of stuff before but thats the only one i remember.
Heard two girls talking behind me in early high school. One of them said "Let's bust out the frog on their draconic ass!" in a serious expression. The other one said "Sounds like a plan. 6pm again?" in response.
sounds like a druid plotting against a tiefling or dragonborn character, planning to use some magic frog they've been saving for just the right occasion
The most D&D thing I've ever heard. Either that or I need to know where you went to high school that, not only are there dragons, but it's reasonable to use frogs against them.
NGL, the D&D explanations sound like the most logical ones I've ever heard regarding this.
Honestly, having since played D&D, I'm now ashamed I didn't put 2 and 2 together when typing it. I was just busy thinking about how weird it sounded at the time.
Greninja versus dragon type moment
D&D is truly a fabulous game lol
I once overheard "Did you know that if you dip your balls in soy sauce, you can taste it from there", whom was reacted with "Yeah, I do that on the daily"
I would say "you don't?" But I'm a cisgender female sooo...
_"You don't?"_
@@yako_the_silly we do
@@Blueturtle1 Yeah it honestly would be weird if they didnt, everyone does that.
I'm pretty sure I've had that conversation with my friend once
I'm terrified at the idea that this might be true
The best part of this video is hearing an obscure phrase and understanding exactly what they mean by it.
Was stood outside a fish and chip shop waiting to be called and a couple walked past mid conversation, and the woman goes, "No Michael, fish and chips aren't vegan", rather loudly, and to this day I wonder why Micheal thought they might be.
My brain read this as "a shish and chip chop"
"Do fish _really_ *_deserve_* rights?" - Michael, probably
some things I’ve overheard from people on campus:
• “your spinal fluid, i hope it gets drained.”
• “what the fuck is pegging?” (said by a guy wearing sparkly pink pants)
• “i thought it was a dog…what kinda dog has a tail like that?” (upon further investigation, i turned the corner and there was a girl walking a cat)
• “yo i can do a good ferb impression” **clears throat** **says nothing**
• “i guess i underestimated how big 15 inches is.”
• “it is the man himself! always.”
Ok the Ferb one killed me xD
The guy with the sparkly pink pants radiates main character energy and I love it
Started laughing at the Ferb one. I gotta use that
I cracked on the Ferb one
People who walk cats on-leash are infinitely cooler than basic dog owners!
“He looks prejudiced” has got to be the best irony I’ve seen in years.