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Can I be a narcissist if I suffer from anxiety and insomnia. I was told not to take melatonin. I took a medicine that made me permanently anxious. My Dad told me that I needed to go to a doctor. He called me abnormal. You are right. The doctor told me how great he was. I did not trust him though. He ruined me with trilofon. Can people be so vain that they will think that they are extremely superior to me no matter what and that they need to make decisions for me like who I date, what career to get in and to check myself into loony tunes hospital. Doctors are not always good people. There was a nurse who was caught as a serial killer. The medicine made me bad off. My family downsized me by the behavior that the behavior the medicine gave me which is caused akesthesia. I blocked my siblings. I don’t like how my Mom criticizes me for blocking them. I wish that she understood. You are right. I can’t waste my time reasoning with a narcissist. They will always believe that they are angels and mermaids while they believe that I am the crazy messed up one. I think that I am coming up to the point that I don’t care about them. But my Mom follows me. I was told to get a restraining order. Should I? She refused to go to family therapy. Mom acts like she has no problems. Then sometimes she asks me if I think if I can do better than her? I can see my family as feeling entitled. I get yelled at a lot.
@@laurieberry4814 meditation will help you still your mind. It is not you. Start with 10 seconds & increase gradually. Best of luck. You can claim your happiness.
They hate to see you laugh. They hate to see you dance or do anything you enjoy. They hate to see you have relationships that are not about them. They hate you for having talents they don't have.
I have a cousin who's like this. It makes sense that although we share grandparents in common, he comes from a completely different bloodline. The everyday thing with him is getting people to do for him what he is capable of himself. Or, trying to help himself to my things. He is so d e p e n d a n t & powerless over himself its miserable to watch. Notice that in all of these examples never once does he say "Please" or "May I." Its never a respectful request. Its always a DEMAND, which gives away their "You owe me" attitude. Ha! How can you possibly OWE someone anything in a relationship where they do all the taking! For sure, I never owed Ricky a thing. Ever "Come outside & help me with this" "Where's your (blank)?" Phone, car, tools, etc "Im in a bind. I need your help" "(Blank) for me." That's usually find things on the internet for him, write his resumé, or take him to work "I need gas money" "Let me borrow $50. I swear, I'll pay you back." He's never paid me back. Not even ONCE There was a time when I was young & generous with my money & my time. I did grow up with him, afterall. My only sibling was my sister, so he was my big brother, not just a cousin. But he didnt start manipulating me until I was 18 I'm 51 now. And for the last 15 years my everyday sentence to him is "Do it your d*** self !" and "I'm your f a m i l y , not your butler. So start t r e a t i n g me like family, not like your servant !"
@@shilohbreigh3591 ✨💎 Exactly: your emotional pain is their pleasure; your pleasure is their pain. It really is that simple Easier said than done of course, but get as far away from him as fast as you can. You may need close continual support of a mentor or a private psychologist. But thats a small price to pay to avoid the years of needless suffering this creature will cause you. And when you do break free, MOVE. Make sure to live somewhere that his friends, family, church, or town will never see you. The best thing ANYONE can do for themselves is make sure these weirdos dont know where you live, & keep it that way
My sister lives with me. She does everything to try to upset me. I went to see The Stadium Tour and Nikki Sixx gave me a guitar pick as I was directly in front of him!! Brought it home, showed her how cool it was and the time I had. Next day she found it and threw it away!!!!!!!!!
I never thought of it that way but it makes a lot of sense. My Narc husband has been gone for many years. He died a broken man. Unfortunately I still hear some of the awful things he said to me. Now I’ll think of those words in a different way. Thank you.
@@marciastewart1527 He lived a broken life aswell. You had what he needed and he didn't have anything you needed that's why he prayed on you. Now you are free 🤗❤️
@@Mentalhealthmattersthemost I'm learning about the narcissism and don't really get it or why, its kind-off that song from forieghner called head games =so if I ever get my girl We'd be happy watching ants build their deffencesive castle and get excited when they got a crumb for desert = then after that id take her to dairy queen just to look at a nice view at where she wanted to look at with no words or some bs talk. Now ill probably get labeled.
Honey, He is leaving me. Many years of being put down, lied to, picked on, stolen from, being talked about like a dog, from happy always smiling, young and pretty to being a totally negative depressed flop. Well, I am not feeding him my happiness, my mental health, he is the reason I have heart failure, but heck, I do pretty good with it, and I still have my looks. Never want another relationship, I will roll just fine. I guess I am one of the lucky ones!
When people complain about how terrible other people in this world can be it’s usually the same types of complaints that we hear, and they’re usually the traits of a person with some type of cluster B personality disorder (narcissists, borderlines, and antisocials in particular) and yet these are probably the least understood and least considered by the average person. Schools really should incorporate lessons on these as part of the regular curriculum in order to prepare young people for what they’re gonna run into in romantic relationships, jobs, and maybe even to help them to be able to cope better with their own family members
Y. E. S. They have health class...why not mental health class? Might even take some pressure off the less than adequate psychologist available to young people.
Yes! So many people would be able to begin to recognize a real problem before it is out of hand. If I had more info available to me, I would have been able to get my three boys and myself out much earlier.
I've experienced four and a half years of being with a covert narcissist and this video concerns me very much. Most of the advice is severly triggering to a narcissist. This could easily push them over the edge. A narcissist pushed this far can be very dangerous, ether spontaneously or with premeditation. Do not try to provoke a narcissist but plan a careful exit from the relationship. Do not humiliate or cause them to lose face. Keeping yourself safe is paramount.
Yes I completely agree. I'd feel sick after eating his food, scratches and dents in my car, laundry go missing off the clothesline and recently important letters missing, can't prove any of it was him
@debe-ol6cg The creep in my life right now has been doing exactly the same thing...drawers with woolen sweaters that were so full the drawer wouldn't close easily...now half empty Jewelry in the nightstand drawers gone...just empty jewelry boxes...tools gone, etc😢
YES. My daughter is doing this to my husband and myself right now as we are trying to move away. Unbelievable things. Everything missing including things needed for our bad health. On top of verbally, emotionally, psychologically abusing us and threatening. This is very true and tragically sad.
I agree. Have to be very careful. My ex has lots of narcissistic characteristics & his dad was definitely NPD or possibly a sociopath. My exes mum told him to never tell his dad that he’s wrong because he will stab you while your in your bed 😳 so yes, you have to know who you’re dealing & if you’re not sure, it’s better play it safe. while my ex would flip with outbursts etc (we all know the signs) he was subdue & pretty quiet around his dad. Even he knew he could push his dad. Re: the ex…I’ve read before that some people can have learned narc traits from a parent, without being fully NPD themselves. Or he was just a more covert & had me more fooled & confused as to what he was 😆
In the calmest voice possible after she has tried to provoke me or guilt trip me: “Are you finished?” That worked so well. Once she saw I was completely indifferent to her and she wasn’t going to get anything out of me, she was completely shutdown. Two years free from her and life just keeps getting better.
My wife knowing full well how much I hated looking for things would hide stuff on me. Like my wallet and other things. When she asked about the things that were missing I would just casually say yeah it’s missing and I don’t care because I know it will show up eventually. And it would.
I lived with a narcissist for way too long. I blame myself for allowing it to happen. It was the best day of my life when it finally ended with me picking my clothes up off the front lawn and living in my car for several months. I was homeless but happy.
Kudos to you! It must have been tough, but oh so fulfilling! We are responsible for allowing it to happen, but don't forget to forgive ourselves in order to be truly free of them!
I am about to be in the same situation, I've tried to leave a few times in the last few months, he just knows me so intimately I have shared everything about myself and he is better at the game and makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave. Ugh, I just doubt things sometimes I don't have proof so I'm crazy. But I know things are off now I just lost my job because of all the chaos with him In a mess most days, this i know is what he wants i make more than him he has been trying to get me to quit for 2 years. Sigh, thanks for listening I know I would be happier in my car, I have so much shit I need to start getting rid of stuff.
@@JulietteSales-y8f Do you have any friends or family that would help you get out? My problem was that she made sure I had no friends and everyone in my family passed away. I wish you the best.
Narcassists HATE 2c you HAPPY,ESPECIALLY IF THE NARCASSIST IS A FORMER PARTNER OR FRIEND!! That burns their A$$ 2 no end!!! But they will be forever believing their assumptions was CORRECT despite evidence 2 the contrary!
This sounds like my case. Putting up with a Narcissist for over 20years was sickening 😪. I almost passed on but for God's grace that liberated me. The day I walked out the door with few of my clothes stocked in the trunk of my car , I was free both spiritual and physical. It wasn't easy but it was worth it today. They're the worst thing that can happen to any normal person.
I heart this remark. I love it. I have a ex bf narcissistic ex bf. His name is Greg Myers. I got thrown. It's not funny for violence. At least my ex will have a loong sentence for my safety.
@@abcabc-cb1vj at least I have a restraining order and I keep it and my baby. I'll keep my baby away from my ex boyfriend's parents. I don't need narcissist people raising my baby. Like hell they will go near me and my baby.
You need to be very careful when leaving a narcissist. My ex-husband became very dangerous once he realized I saw through his facade. I was afraid he would kill me or my kids. I got the help of a psychologist who knew how dangerous a narcissist is to help me navigate through getting him out of the house. As tempting as it is, it isn't a good idea to piss off a narcissist.
It’s TRUE…my sister escaped - initially - she left him (her husband) then went into a battered women’s shelter with her doggie 🐶. He didn’t like that AT ALL. She was getting her life back together, then about a year later, this POS tracked her down: hE FOUND HER - a *bloody narcissist* shot my sister in the head, then dismembered her and burned the place down. 💔😖😫😩 Luckily for my family, the COWARD also did himself in before setting the fire…10 January of this year was the 30th “anniversorry” of one of the worst days of my entire life…💔💔 I never learned what happened to her ‘Bandit’ (short-legged, cutie-pie, happy little mutt😉 with a ring around his one eye like “Peetie” (“Peety?”🤔) from the “Little Rascals”)…🥺 No doubt he was there, too…😖😥
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. They will treat you so horribly, that you will become withdrawn & depressed & then they will turn around & say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams✨☘️🙏
grey rocking has this affect as well. Once you accept the truth & protect yourSelf, then there's no need to wallow in depression. Then you just become mindful of interaction & pay attention to how they're trying to trigger a reaction or response from you... basically become boring to them, by not feeding them your emotions. When they can't manipulate your emotional state, then it's draining for them to be around... not the same type of drain that an empathic person goes through with a narc, but moreso, because they need your emotions & life force, to support their process.. if they can't get it like they once did, then they'll look for someone else to get it from.
@@oftin_wong Yes of course, 100percent concur with you :-Sorry i were just quoting *Susan Williams* Obviously, she's just sharing her own individual experiences which obviously, from her quotes, happened with a male:-However, i've ammended now to "they" My sincere apologies :-Hope lifes treating you extremely kindly ✨☘️🙏
Oh my God, literally my ex tried to ship me off to my family because he no longer wanted to be in the relationship with me I was so deep in a depression spiral. Literally said those words to me. He broke up with my right before Christmas and kept flip flopping. Accused me of cheating(even though he broke up with me?) And claimed that I didn't cherish, love or respect him. Took 7 break ups but better late than never!
1. Praise for others 2. "That's not true." 3. "I will not ..." 4. "I cannot ... for you." 5. "You lost." (Game, etc.) 6. "You're wrong." 7. "I don't care." (When you reach the point of apathy and they can't get to you.) 8. "I'm busy." 9. "Not now." 10. "No."
This comes off as wisdom of the world trying to navigate wrg behavior & attitudes. Hope ppl remember if a woman divorces her husband & marries another while the former is still alive is committing adultery. (1corinth7:39)
I used to tell my ex. “Go tell the tree outside because it’s going to care more than I do “. He hated that. Lol. 23 years free. Thank you Jesus. Hallelujah
Is easy to say , have many times to walk away but he use many reason to bring me back and manipulation deciving , God let me come out from this narsistic marriage
I feel the best way to deal with a narcissist, is to ignore them completely. They like to argue, so just cut the call. If they send nasty messages, block them. It's just too tiring to deal with them.
In truth ignoring them really does work, but it does limit the potential somewhat for revenge. I prefer to counter their outrageous behavior with my own brand of eccentric peculiarities. It puzzles them and never fails to put them on kilter while providing me with so much fun. You can never however take them seriously, or you'll lend credence to their own internal sense of turmoil. Pissing them off is a lifetime pursuit of mine.
hey so I can understand that. Mine's very controlling, manipulative, runs me down behind my back. His only nice to get his foot in the door. I've been sick many times from eating his food, things go missing off my clothesline, scratches n dents in my car, recently important letters went missing from mailbox but I can't prove any of it was him. He's so needy but I know he only wants a free ride from everyone, he's so fake it's ridiculous. Wish I never fell in love with him that's for sure.
@@IAintNobody1445 I agree wholeheartedly! I hope you have made it or will soon make it out of the relationship you refer to. I was with my abusive narcissist for a long time and through experience learned not to say the things that this video recommends. So I wouldn’t recommend that to you or anyone else. I’d go so far as to recommend not deliberately provoking anyone with mental health issues. You don’t know how bad their reaction will be. So for me the value of the video is in learning what not to say, and helping to understand the effect of (my or others’) words on the narcissist.
Yes, they are so tiring to deal with. It’s exhausting. I finally learned that it’s best to ignore them. I’ve gone no contact with my brother. It’s been years now. I’m living in peace now.
Whatever can also be used by the narcissist. It depends on how it is used. Whatever is not always okay to say to people. Your dad tells you to cut the grass and you say whatever, then that isn't right either.
I agree with Jason depends on person and if they are in presence of flying monkeys. My narc had a flying monkey with them and after I said whatever and walked away I was called rude even though they were accusing me of things and smearing my name.
My ex boyfriend uses" whatever " on me. He is the narc and uses that when Im trying to talk about his addictions or somethingshameful. He watches videos as everyone else is the narc and plays the victim. I'm trying to understand this disorder. He definitely doesn't like it when I tell him I'm not playing his games. I win!
@@Iarrived Yes, but when it comes to narcissists, only God can help or change them. We're best off staying far away from them. They're possessed by demons. Only God can deal with that. I learned that the hard way.
So true. My daughter hung up on me on Christmas day in a rage because I told her that she was turning a blind eye to the truth because the truth didn't suit her (we were having "words" about a "certain medical thing"). My birthday was a couple of weeks later and she couldn't even be bothered to text me a b'day greeting. Well I guess she showed ME huh? We haven't spoken since. I wasn't sure what to do about it at first, but then I decided that it would be best to just stay away for now. Hmmmmmm.... sheesh, I never thought that she would be such a jerk to me--we used to be so close. Sigh. A lot of people seem to be experiencing this nowadays. The world is becoming full of narcissists (just look at social media). Hugs to all whose lives have been upturned by this unpleasant behavior.
I said all those things recently to my narc husband and he has gone into a spin..narc injury. When I said you don't have control over me anymore has brought on war.
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I'm using that one tomorrow can't wait- 7years with a narcissist and just starting to learn what he is now I new something was wrong but finally have a term for it getting ready to leave-
@@Gracejmh1 so glad you are leaving and will eventually e able to live a normal life...whatever that is😉JK bit be aware because he will try wveeything to get you back! They are not the winner when you leave them!
They don't care about anything that concerns you. Almost trapped in the center of their own universe unable to empathize with anyone they deem an inconvenience. Don't get in the way of a narcs happiness. There's only one person in a monogamous relationship when a narc is included.
YES, THEY LOVE TO MAKE YOU VALIDATE YOURSELF N EXPLAIN WHY WHENEVER YOU DO SOMETHING OR DONT DO SOMETHING! NEVER GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION. REDIRECT THE QUESTION TO THEM AND LIST OFF ABOUT FIVE THINGS THEY DO OR CHOOSE NOT TO DO, AND MAKE THEM HAVE TO VALIDATE THEMSELVES! OR SAY, JUST BECAUSE! OR, NO REASON, OR BECAUSE I WANT TO/DONT WANT TO, OR (THEY HATE THIS ONE BC IT SHOWS POWER N AUTONOMY) BECAUSE I CAN!
Do fun stuff without the narc. Play Fu Manchu (loud, headphones if you are in appartment) when you get the silent treatment. Plan a date with the narc and when they decide at the last minute to not go, trying to control the situation, go yourself. If they do take you up in the date, walk out at the first sign of behaviour that is getting on your nerves. Dont say anything, and stick them with the bill. Let them find their own way home. Yeah, I've done these things. Yeah, it might make me a bit of a d*ck. But its better than sucking up. They will do you a huge favor by dumping you. You cant buy that kind of good fortune, run with it.
In their twisted minds, they think they are punishing us when they give us the silent treatment. In reality, the silence gives way to clarity as we are able to ponder how much less stressful our lives are without them invading our existences. That's what led me to do a list of pros and cons regarding my narcissistic former friend. Once I subtly went no contact with her, my stress level went way down. Naturally, she didn't notice till months later that I had cut her off completely. I'll spare you the soap opera that was her trying to recruit flying monkeys to spy on me to see if I was talking about her. I wasn't, but she was dead convinced she was so interesting I couldn't let her go. It was pathetic, really. For clarity, this was not a former love interest or even a girlfriend. She was just an older lady I was friends with and our relationship was purely transactional on her part. She flipped out and threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed her only grandchild. Just giving you an idea of how old she was when she realized she had lost me forever. Crazy woman.
Stopped reacting to the catalyst remarks. When the narc is on the warpath, I withdraw into my own little area. This keeps the situation under control and is a mental saviour.
I've seen that before too. For the example I'm thinking of, I wonder if it's because at some point in their life they 'learned' that someone's worth was based on their productivity.
Working with narcissists, I found the phrase "Duly noted" to be pretty effective, especially after it became known that I documented the behavior of one. It's been years, and I have never actually sent a report to management about them, but they still check their behavior around me. And I've taught this trick to new employees who said it was very effective too. Thanks for another informative video. Gotta go to work now. :)
@@rogerweatherman8349 That's a way of NOT "losing my humanity and joining them". They tend to relish a good fight, and frequently seem to be trying to initiate one. So when they try to start an argument, this is a way of saying that I have "noted what they have said and given it due consideration". But I also end the conversation there. So I DO NOT "join them" in an argument. And management has repeatedly said that management cannot do anything unless they have documentation. They've essentially requested it. So yes, I do document their harassment of both myself and the guests that stay in our homeless shelter. I have not turned in one word to management, but the abusers checked their behavior around me and other employees who let it be known that they were documenting, and that has helped to protect the guests. Meanwhile disciplinary meetings have begun occurring with the abusive employees, and two of the worst have taken a leave of absence and three of the worst quit. Interestingly, when it was just suggested to the narcissists that they could be held accountable for their behavior, many of them immediately took off. To me, that said that they knew that what they were doing was wrong.
@@elverdad6805 Well done Sir. The Inuit have a word for Psychopaths, " Kunlangeta", which means those who know better but do it anyway. They go off hunting and one says he is sick and stays behind. When they come back their women are all pregnant and their food is all gone. They take them outt on the ice, shoot them in the back of the head and let the animals clean them up. Trick is not to mate with them, and let them create more.
When finally he hit me after 8.5 years he told me he wanted me to just shut the f. up and had to hit me to shut me up. Ha. I. Win. I left and been free for almost 2 years
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The one which worked best for me "I'll never apologize for telling you the truth." The 17 year long silent treatment began that day and is going strong! Freedom!!!
I agree with most everything here except the "I win," and "You're wrong," because you can never convince a narcissist he's wrong or he hasn't won because even if they make you so angry that you walk away and ignore them, they feel as if they've "won" and heaven help you if your narcissist is vicious on top of it. Before I knew what narcissism was I couldn't understand why my father acted like he'd won some great prize in making me so mad I left and ignored him for months. I imagine he still feels like a winner even though I haven't seen or spoken to him since 2015.
I ALMOST married a narcissist. The first year was wonderful, but the 2 years after that when we were together just got steadily worse. He ALWAYS picked fights about insignificant stuff, or nothing at all. One day, he picked a fight, blaming me for stuff that I had never done, and were never intending on doing, all kinds of stuff. At one point, he was raging pissed, and I had clapped back at him about something where we BOTH knew I was in the right, he was in the wrong, and I had called him out about it. So he up and says to me, "Well, you wanna know what I think??!!" I looked him dead in the eyes, and said to him, "Mike, I don't think it's humanly possible for me to care ANY less than I do in this moment what YOU think,". That was all I said, and I held his gaze the whole time, and after I finished the sentence. I gave him that facial expression that clearly backed up what I had just said. I had never stood up to him before then, not like that, and the look of horror and shock on his face has been etched into my brain ever since that moment. This happened 20 years ago. Since then, he has spent the last 20 years doing so much to try to screw me over, turn people against me, talk bad about me to others, get back into my life as a friend, all kinds of crap. It's still going on now, 20 years later. I have since moved on, gotten married, and moved WELL away from him. I feel alot better without him. It would have been the worst mistake of my life if I had married him and had kids with him. If we had had kids together, I would have to interact with him at various functions for the rest of my life. Nope. Glad I dodged that narcissistic bullet.
My mother was a narcissist, my childhood was all screwed up. It took years of therapy to confront all the problems I had because of her. Today, I refuse to allow another narcissist in my life, even to the point of blocking my own granddaughter, which she thought was just awful and her words to me were, "You're going to die a lonely old woman" I'm not alone, I have other family and friends who care.
I am so glad I found your channel! I honestly cannot express enough how much this is helping me realize what friends and family tried to get me to see for ages… Was in a three year relationship off and on with someone. Fell so hard. Got left homeless, taken back, left again, still got strung along and a week later she is engaged. I had no idea these people existed. Yes we all make mistakes…say the wrong things, take the wrong actions…but some people are out of this world..I felt like I was going insane. I had her drive me to a facility because I wanted to end it all…all while she continued to scream over me while I cried on the floor…I was that deep.. Thank you for your channel, your advice, insight, everything.
Ditto! 24 yrs ago he’d been arrested for the 3rd time and managed to manipulate the system n secured a divorce attorney to assist him. It was a 23 yr marriage nearly destroying me. That was 24 yrs ago, we lost our USMC youngest son who ran away from him/us to the marines because of the narcissistic turmoil was relentless, my WASband continues to try to mess with me by messing around with/AT our deceased son’s grave. I can write a book, however, back then it seems the system was ignorant to NARCISSISM…thank God for affective therapy ….
My experience with courts, divorce, children was that the so called professional people just accepted his threatening, bulling manipulative behavior and gave him what he wanted for fear he would make further complains about them. It was an horrendous time. If professionals can't stand up to a narc with no prior involvement with them and further the unsubstantiated smear and vendetta against the victims then these useless professional people should be held to account and struck off!!
Without words, what absolutely works the best is to genuinely laugh when they look at you, it makes their blood boil! It leaves the narcissist wondering what your laughing about, whether it be about them, your happiness, or just the mere fact fact that they have no inclination what the laughter is all about.
@@juliemiller9760 there is often substance abuse with narcs, usually alcohol and or weed. They do it for escapism because they have extremely low emotional intelligence.
That was me... it nearly destroyed me. The therapist literally gave me a lawyers number and told me you won't survive if you don't get out. I listened... still single 12 years later.
So true.!! At 59 I realized my mother was a textbook narcissist. I cut her out of my life 9 months ago and my marriage became so much better. I thought narcissist was just slang word for a mean or controlling person not realizing these people live amongst us. It’s awesome being free.
My daughter is about to file for divorce . This is such good advice . Watch all her videos if u can .Hang in there , you can get through this and finally have a peaceful happy life . Good bless
How're doing Nina? I hope you're holding up OK, getting divorced is difficult regardless of the situation add a narcissist in the mix and let the emotional blackmail begin. Nina cut ties completely if you can, be gental with yourself and lean on others because they really do care about you. Believe what sincere people tell you, those that can you in the eyes without blinking for 3 seconds. Take care.
So true! I have text messages, videos and he still says not true. He is so twisted in his fake self it’s insane. It’s like split personality. He says he’s never lied lol…
Same. Even charged in court for elbowing me in the face: that not true. Never happened. Headbutted me in the face in front of 3 friends? They are liars and it never happened. Must have been dreaming...... just insane.
I know what you're saying. I had that too. Well God my ex's dirty mail. At least I have what God gave me. Joy. I'll laugh at the enemy's face because people that don't live for God do things contrary to scripture. My ex boyfriend. I laughed when he thought otherwise..
I have video too and he said it’s not him. I’m in the video with him 🤦🏻♀️ Ty for sharing. It’s that insanity that think we never figure out. It does take a while to figure it and then out but when we do and finally do something about it, it turns on them and they Freak out! And it scrambles their psychotic crap! Man, when I turned it on him, my narc ex, it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers with the chick bots blowing up 😂🤣😂😆😆👍👍👍
Anita..I totally agree. Saying WHATEVER is like a fork in their eye. They see stars. Their twisted warped minds have no way to respond to that because it throws them into a state of confusion. They can not figure it out when you say it. Its perfect because all they want to hear is the word YES!
Absolutely agree I have been with someone for 10 years and your spot on. I’ve always thought there’s something not right and now I can see it we’re not together and everything you said is exactly the way they are Jenny thank you.
Before I knew my husband was a narcissist or knew anything about narcissists, I found myself doing these exact things. But, I felt driven to do these responses to preserve my sanity.
Married a man who read the Bible eight times and had preacher's license when he took me home after a honeymoon he really couldn't afford pressured me for the piddly thousand dollars I had in my savings account that I had long before I ever met him I was told I was selfish self-centered a b**** I was devastated crushed and then I took an incredible violence and was told that it didn't happen or it did happen but it was my fault I'm 130 lb this guy is 260 lbs I'm the one who started it I tried to hit him it was devastating to the core but it was interesting to be taken home from a honeymoon and told you have health insurance now you can see a psychiatrist I was very confused I thought we were going to be Christians that believed in the word of God and that God didn't give me a spirit of fear but love power and a soundclear thinking mind. BeRated me constantly about if anyone cheats it'll be me and it kept it up and kept it up and I come to find out this guy had a hidden lust when is showed it's ugly head, wow had I just been tricked I had just been tricked out 12 years of my life by religious hypocrites it was most mortifying. And I was robbed for as much as possible done to a defenseless woman. I found the law the wrong ignorant Church heads provoked and incited this person to do even more damage to me and the children involved. Nothing but a hoax I swear on my life nothing but a hoax.
This is a great video! Looking back I can hear him freaking out after I ‘ve said some of these things. It’s so clear now. I’m glad I figured out he was a narcissist with the thanks of people like you sharing things like this topic! Thanks! ...and I win!!!!
I laughed out loud at the first one. I worked with a overtly narcissistic new hire. I quickly realized that he HATED when I would compliment other people, so I started doing it ALL THE TIME! The beginning of the end for him is when we got another new hire, and I would just gush about how great she was. He quickly imploded, and quit. True story.
@@jamest2861 Actually, I was targeted by a covert "Mean Girl" style Narc at work. She had a little group of "flying monkeys" who joined her in bullying b/c it gave them a sense of belonging & Power. It was inevitably other gals she went after, never guys. No Sisterhood of mutual support exists in some women's minds, which is just sad. We'll only work our way towards equality *together.* I wasn't able to confirm what set her off, as far as her behavior towards me. I'm a hard worker & try to get along w/ *Everyone.* However, her tendency to reveal her *deep insecurities* by calling other gals "peacocks" if they received kudos of *any* kind leads me to think she felt threatened. I suspect I was targeted b/c I was selected as a newbie to hand out awards at a conference, while she ran slides instead. From then on, she made it clear that she *hated* me, while hiding her true nature from most others (esp anyone male & *above* our level). She went out of her way to make my office life *Hell* for 2.5 years, till I *finally* went to HR. I would have Loved it if 1 of our bosses had been a *real* leader & addressed her behavior *Much Sooner.* What pushed me to it was when a 3rd person quit b/c of her bullying. A black gal she targeted, in the midst of our DEI campaign. What *horrid* optics there, on top of the *shocking unfairness* of it all. Over the years, I *did* seek *candid guidance/advice* from a few of our departmental leaders (just the group I supported directly). I simply provided a few quick examples, then would ask "How best should I handle it?". The most *honest* response I got was "No one wants to tell her boss (our EVP), b/c he really likes her". Worst advice received was "Oh, you 2 girls need to just learn to get along" from a male superior. She's in her 40s, I'm in my 50's. I personally haven't identified as a "girl" in about 3 decades, but whatever. 🙄 I never fought back, didn't argue w/ her. I just *refused* to become 1 of her minions (she had a couple of those already). *Nor* would I join her in bullying others, which seemed to be her goal. I *helped* her other targets, instead, when I could (they were mostly new hires she was *supposed to* process-train but wouldn't). Otherwise, I simply became more introverted & went *"gray rock"* w/ her for my own sanity & job security. *Nothing* was done about it until I finally clued HR in to the fact that she'd driven 3 other employees to Quit (narcs *rarely* have just 1 target). She'd once stated to me in conversation that she "knew HR's job better than they did" and took it upon herself to "chase away anyone who doesn't fit in". So, I made sure that HR knew she was undermining their efforts, as well as wasting chunks of their hiring budget. When we add up the costs of advertising, interviewing & doing background checks/screenings, that comes to a fairly *significant* total cost per person. Esp when the company's struggling to cut costs to pay for ongoing IT projects. Now, that company's stock is *in the toilet* for the 2nd year in a row. The HQ office (our location) just *laid off* 50% of its staff. For the "survivors", there's a big "Win Trust" initiative to *improve morale & reduce turnover* throughout the company, nationwide. Just 1 narc employee in a high enough position can *wreak havoc.* It all starts at the Top, where co. culture is concerned, and spreads from there. Any firm that *allows* bullying will have an *uphill battle* when it comes to *repairing broken trust.* So, that's why I *Love* this poster's comment. *Real leaders* Don't allow that BS. Sadly, there are *too few* of those folks around, much of the time. People w/ the *gumption & Integrity* to stand up to unreasonable A-holes are my *heroes.* They recognize the dangers to the company, and *care enough* about their workforce to "take out the trash" before it *stinks up* the joint. It's a bigger challenge for those of us who grew up in chaotic homes w/ a narc parent. Bullying becomes *normalized,* to the point that we willingly take further abuse from others. (I only spoken up when I saw the impact on *other* Good people). Even w/ 4 years of therapy & a cross-country move, I *still* didn't escape the effects of early abuse. I belatedly realized that's *why* I'd put up w/ such treatment in this situation for as long as I did. *Never, ever again* will I stick around for *that* nonsense. I have a *strong allergy* to it now. Unfortunately, the widespread existence of *generational trauma* has us living in a world full of *broken people.* That makes the *heroes* who nip that 💩 in the bud *all the More valuable.* *HOORAY FOR THEM!!* 😃
it is strongly advised to never use the word NO to someone with an acute mental illness, it usually results in abuse threats property damage serious harm to self and others,
Repeat after me; "No, that's not going to work." Their effort to try to manipulate you stops right there. It is as though you brought them back to a point in their childhood and you are the parent. It is a definitive signal/trigger to them that says; "Don't waste your oh so valuable breath- they are not buying it/under your spell anymore so just move on."
@Gemma Dann mine was a covert malignant, demon possessed parent. Went no contact 8 years ago and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done! Prayers for all of us!!!
@Gemma Dann oh they’ll never just go away I’m afraid. The only way you’ll get away from them is if you make the decision that no matter what happens you’re leaving and not looking back. RUN don’t walk away and SLAM the door in their Face!! You can’t help them as they’re perfect in their own minds. They’re incapable of love as that actually requires giving and they’re demon possessed and evil and only care about sucking their environment dry of all energy. True parasites. They’ll fight tooth and claw to keep their hooks in you. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain better getting as far away from them as possible and they’ve got everything to lose if you’re successful in learning to leave them behind and start your healing process. It’s not easy. Prayers and love for us all!!!
This is great. Unfortunately my parents were somewhat narcissistic and told me that 'being nice is the right thing to do'. So, I totally fell for, annoyingly, more than one narcissist. Your words are all about having excellent boundaries. And it is really nice to hear good boundary words. It feels good to hear them, even better to say them. Narcissist hate boundaries!!
I stumbled upon these videos and realized my mom is a narcissist. My whole life I wondered what was wrong with her.. 😅 recently I told her, "let's agree to disagree." I swear I saw smoke come out of her ears.
Narcissists live for having control in the moment. If saying one thing one minute then saying the opposite the next keeps them in control, they'll do it.
He knows he can't control me and is always afraid that if I start fussing with him he can't win I out fuss him every time I told him the other day to go eat a shit sandwich he kept quiet for the rest of the week lol
@Gemma Dann I don't know how old your daughter was at the time, but I wonder what his response would have been if she had had a 'wee' accident.... Been there. My father screamed at me for hours on end, at least once a week, for at least three hours. Best response is to escape, by whatever means possible.
Been there!!! Calling out a narcissist in a lie becomes a formal event. You have to go step by step with delivering your evidence. They will NEVER admit fault BUT they WILL tell on themselves typically by shifting some element of their story when the evidence is indefensible. Then they will misdirect and snarl a bit “what do you want me to sayyyyy?????!!!!!!” Then they will often ghost you! WIN!!! ❤😊
I had a narcissist as a trainer at the gym. Oh my goodness! When I used some of the phrases you have listed he went ballistic!! I thought he was a narcissists. You confirmed it. Thank you. I have since left that gym and am at the YMCA.
@Esoterique I think the Cluster B personality disorder overlap. Narcissistic, Borderline, Sociopathic, Hysteronic - all shallow selfish bullies with no empathy
My daught has 5 youngies n he puts her down calls her cu.t name ,tells her bad mother , he lies in bed till afternoons she comes home n goes back WHY ??
Definitely nailed it. Everything that you said, you can see the look on their face like how dare you say that to me. Then it's like they get even more evil.
I brought a tee shirt that stated", 99 percent of the time I don't care. When I showed my mother and my brother the shirt both of them went completely silent for like three minutes. Both are Narcs but I didn't know about these words which rattled their cage. Now that I know I will wear the tee very soon..... yeeeeeah a point for me 🙏😂😂😂😂
7:20am Sunday morning wake up. New subscriber! I WIN . I’ve lived with my husband 23 yrs and I could never figure out my downfalls, ineptitude, wrongful ways and the way he ALWAYS made me feel inadequate in every facet of life…this has been an eye opener! I do meet with a therapist once a week. I’ve started to find myself again. Because if I believed everything he says & said about me I would be a speck of dust….the TOTAL CONTROL has been maddening for me.
Amen. 30 yrs married and I could never figure out what I was doing wrong in my marriage. After he divorced me and I was devastated, therapy showed me I was married to a narcissist. It was not me. Now his wife calls our daughter to complain about him. Her problem thank goodness he is no longer mine.
So happy to stumble upon this, narcissism is hard, especially when it's a family member. I can't divorce my sibling, but this is providing me tools to deal with their behavior.
I went 'no contact' with my brother after years of harassment and violence, and emigrated. That was 36 years ago. He is still furious that I refuse to be controlled by him. Our mother died recently, and due to covid rules could not be there for her dying or funeral. When her estate is resolved, I will never have ANYTHING to do with him, EVER. He is trash. Sadly, he is going to remarry soon - I pity his future wife. His first walked out after he beat her once too often.
I too have a Narcissistic father and brother. I never knew ther was a name for them until they had both wreaked serious havoc on my life which is probably all too common. I need to learn tools to deal with them...
I understand. My daughter is the Narcissist. And I think it’s all because of drugs. Had to make the hardest decision a mother could make and that was get an injunction for three years cannot call me cannot see me she thinks no rules apply to her she’s been well-informed you walk up to my door I will have you arrested. The worst thing and saddest thing about a narcissist is they never get better and that’s because they never see it as them through the problem it’s always somebody else that’s really sad
I have a brother and a son who are narcissists. Cut them both out of my life. My mother was a narcissist and I refuse to be abused anymore. Peace is lovely 🕊
I have a lead hand that is a text book narcissist. I’ve been dealing with his tantrums and head games for years. The easiest way to deal with a narcissist at work is don’t deal with them, anything other than the job at hand there’s no conversation with him. No “good morning”, basic conversation or “good bye have a good night”. I’ve walked away while he is in mid conversation as soon as I realized it had nothing to do with work. Problem solved
Hi Rebecca, thank you so much.. you are a Godsend to me when I think I'm going crazy, lost and grief over the failure 😭😭😭 I ran away with my 2 daughters from my husband after 22 years of marriage a few days ago as I was uncontrollably overwhelmingly traumatized, 3rd time Depression, PSTD and psychiatrist diagnosed as under narcissistic abuse etc etc.. I blocked him as his text messages were driving me nuts and crying until my eyes were swollen, unable to sleep, screaming for God's help and guidance.. when I came across your videos today.. 😭😭😭 I'm sitting up.. formulating my strategies.. I'm ready to turn this around.. I'm ready to WIN for myself and for my 2 teenage daughters.. Thank you so much ❤
You go girl...a day at a time and you will get there... lots of us understand how you feel right now...do it for your kids, give them a better future.. l wish you all the love and luck in the world...xoxox
God bless you honey. Been with one for 27 years now, the last 2 "twins" of our 5 son's just turned adults this year and I'm done. Ofcourse this has sent him in full force Narcissist mode, so bad that "he" don't even know if he's coming or going and my Lord yesss it's been so hard on me, as I'm really sick atm with Pneumonia. But God, But God ❤❤ Peace be still in Jesus name.
Thank you for this post. I’m trying to recover from a 10 year marriage to a woman that has been so controlling and getting worse each year . I refused divorce for many of those years. She would ask me several times over the years if I wanted a Devore . This year She told me that she wanted a divorce and this time I said yes she looked surprised because I always would say no Now we are divorced and just starting to realize that I was not the one with the problem . I do have a hard time trusting people now and will have to keep praying for help
“We are going to have to agree to disagree” almost always works. They despise it. They also can’t stand it when you say; “well that’s one perspective I guess”’. Also; “I can’t control what you think of me, and nor do I care”. Instant 💥.
Saying "uh huh" repeatedly while being told by my husband's ex to her rid of my cats, and then ending it with "Ok then. Have a good day." was one of my favorite moments with a narcissist. She was furious but was still trying to put up a front with me at the time. 😂
I have/had a narcissistic friend, whom after years of gaslighting, ( he , a so called Christian, married with kids , has sexually harassed me, when he’s been drinking, & blames me , for “making feel him that way “ . I’m straight male . ) he’s now 60+. As am I . I finally had enough of his crap & distanced my self from him, after several unanswered emails & phone calls, he called the cops on me ! He told them I was unstable, dangerous & probably going to hurt someone ! Then he turned up uninvited, calm as you like, let himself into my home , as I was at the supermarket, I found him drinking beer in my kitchen ! I asked him to leave, he left laughing. It was a lot creepy. I haven’t seen or heard of him since
Never use the word "You"... "Yours", "You are"...etc... it gives them attention. Never really turn the conversation back over to them... never show ANY emotion whatsoever in your reply.... You can deflect with something not about what they said..."I had a really good apple for lunch"... to their projection. For Gaslighting where they want you to have doubts about your reality.... "Many people have tried to get me to doubt myself..." see? It is not about them... I call this "Blank Wall"... we become a blank wall...we don't have to become DULL... or dull ourselves up... we can SHINE... ALWAYS have a comeback... when at a loss for words, we tend to shutdown... so always have a comeback... even if it is..."Oh, look at the time....I have to.... so and so now..."....and you probably won't shutdown... I have shutdown into depression because I did not have a comeback.... even if it is..."whatever"... as long as it is BLAND... If they give you the silent treatment... GO WATCH A MOVIE!!!! BE GLAD!!!!
If I try to say whatever as I look at my phone with no emotion in response to my narc and my body reacts in some way to the situation he says are you stressed and I say no why? He says because you are doing this and ehennyou do this you're stressed and I've known you for 11 years. You see I can't win.
So true. I learned over time not to engage with the conversation that doesn't go anywhere. They will not even apologize when they are in the wrong! Walk away, try to focus on yourself.
#11. They most hate SILENCE when they’re ‘gaslighting’ you. Just stay silent & wait ‘til they exhaust their rant. Respond only, when they ask you a ‘legitimate / genuine’ (not sarcastic) question about you.
“Invalidation is about dismissing your experiences, thoughts and above all your emotions. Indeed the intention is to not even allow you to have those thoughts, experiences and emotions. It’s a way of invading your head and reprogramming it. It’s psychological abuse (messing with your thoughts) and emotional abuse (messing with your feelings).” - Danu Morrigan
@@country731 So sorry you're going through this Ple@se have faith that the truth will be brought to light & you will be in a much better place in time I hope you have support from friends family an understnding compssionte counsellor etc In time, it's wonderful how things can change for the better Just one step @ time if we keep chipping away Wishing you all the best:- In pryers✨☘️🙏
@@marciastewart1527 So sorry you went through so very much I'm so extremely delighted for you to be far away from this horrendous treat ment now Well done to you & praying God continues to bless you abundantly, with beautiful brilliant blessings forevermore 👍✨☘️🙏
*UPGRADED WORDS:* *"I'm not going to have time for that." (This covers now & forever)* *"It doesn't matter to me." (Although we understand the intent of saying "I don't care" they can twist that to accuse you of being uncaring.)*
I told my ex narcissist to listen to the Phil Collins song, "I don't care anymore" and to really listen to the words. Boy, did that really screw with his head. 😅
the 10 powerful phrases: 1. Praise for others 2. "That's not true." 3. "I will not ..." 4. "I cannot ... for you." 5. "You lost." or "I WIN" 6. "You're wrong." 7. "I don't care." 8. "I'm busy." 9. "Not now." 10. "No." thank you for this tips🌹
Exactly 👍. I used this type of method. After they said insults to me via text. I said, It does nit bother me bc I know what you say is NOT TRUE, and now without you around, I am doing great & unbothered. That sent them off with tail between their legs.
He would literally gaslight me, even with proofs of his lie right in front of his face, and call me "thankless" for not appreciating the things that he has otherwise done for me 🙃
Girl,story of my life...mine would call me ungrateful yet he did nothing but drain me..He even said to me that some things don't last forever while he was trying to draw me back in..its like they believe the future faking and expect you to worship them for telling you lies...sickening fuckery
🛑Want to learn other things you should and shouldn’t do when dealing with narcissists? Join me in this FREE webinar now to learn more:👉 www.slayyournegotiation.com/rzwebinar
I will be there to answer all your questions. Can't wait to meet you there!
@@RebeccaZungEsq Thank you for highlighting my last comment 💛 It was my 1st time ever!!! Thank you!🤗🥇❤️
Can I be a narcissist if I suffer from anxiety and insomnia. I was told not to take melatonin. I took a medicine that made me permanently anxious. My Dad told me that I needed to go to a doctor. He called me abnormal. You are right. The doctor told me how great he was. I did not trust him though. He ruined me with trilofon. Can people be so vain that they will think that they are extremely superior to me no matter what and that they need to make decisions for me like who I date, what career to get in and to check myself into loony tunes hospital.
Doctors are not always good people. There was a nurse who was caught as a serial killer. The medicine made me bad off. My family downsized me by the behavior that the behavior the medicine gave me which is caused akesthesia. I blocked my siblings. I don’t like how my Mom criticizes me for blocking them. I wish that she understood. You are right. I can’t waste my time reasoning with a narcissist. They
will always believe that they are angels and mermaids while they believe that I am the crazy messed up one. I think that I am coming up to the point that I don’t care about them. But my Mom follows me. I was told to get a restraining order. Should I? She refused to go to family therapy. Mom acts like she has no problems. Then sometimes she asks me if I think if I can do better than her? I can see my family as feeling entitled. I get yelled at a lot.
@@laurieberry4814 meditation will help you still your mind. It is not you. Start with 10 seconds & increase gradually. Best of luck. You can claim your happiness.
I like to join your free sessions.
They hate to see you laugh. They hate to see you dance or do anything you enjoy. They hate to see you have relationships that are not about them. They hate you for having talents they don't have.
They are mentally ill. Avoid them. Get them out of your life. They need lifelong mental health counseling and therapy.
Oh my God… My boyfriend of three years acts disgusted. I laugh too loud, or it’s not funny…
I have a cousin who's like this. It makes sense that although we share grandparents in common, he comes from a completely different bloodline. The everyday thing with him is getting people to do for him what he is capable of himself. Or, trying to help himself to my things. He is so d e p e n d a n t & powerless over himself its miserable to watch. Notice that in all of these examples never once does he say "Please" or "May I." Its never a respectful request. Its always a DEMAND, which gives away their "You owe me" attitude. Ha! How can you possibly OWE someone anything in a relationship where they do all the taking! For sure, I never owed Ricky a thing. Ever
"Come outside & help me with this"
"Where's your (blank)?" Phone, car, tools, etc
"Im in a bind. I need your help"
"(Blank) for me." That's usually find things on the internet for him, write his resumé, or take him to work
"I need gas money"
"Let me borrow $50. I swear, I'll pay you back." He's never paid me back. Not even ONCE
There was a time when I was young & generous with my money & my time. I did grow up with him, afterall. My only sibling was my sister, so he was my big brother, not just a cousin. But he didnt start manipulating me until I was 18
I'm 51 now. And for the last 15 years my everyday sentence to him is
"Do it your d*** self !" and
"I'm your f a m i l y , not your butler. So start t r e a t i n g me like family, not like your servant !"
@@shilohbreigh3591 ✨💎 Exactly: your emotional pain is their pleasure; your pleasure is their pain. It really is that simple
Easier said than done of course, but get as far away from him as fast as you can. You may need close continual support of a mentor or a private psychologist. But thats a small price to pay to avoid the years of needless suffering this creature will cause you. And when you do break free, MOVE. Make sure to live somewhere that his friends, family, church, or town will never see you. The best thing ANYONE can do for themselves is make sure these weirdos dont know where you live, & keep it that way
My sister lives with me. She does everything to try to upset me. I went to see The Stadium Tour and Nikki Sixx gave me a guitar pick as I was directly in front of him!! Brought it home, showed her how cool it was and the time I had. Next day she found it and threw it away!!!!!!!!!
Being hated by a narcissist is the highest form of flattery you can get 🤸♀️🤸♀️🤸♀️
I never thought of it that way but it makes a lot of sense. My Narc husband has been gone for many years. He died a broken man.
Unfortunately I still hear some of the awful things he said to me. Now I’ll think of those words in a different way. Thank you.
They especialy hate "no" or "i will not". It triggers shit out of them and goes to rage or act like little child and go silent and offended ...
@@LukiGames0 Entertainment at it's best ☺️🥳🥸
@@marciastewart1527 He lived a broken life aswell. You had what he needed and he didn't have anything you needed that's why he prayed on you. Now you are free 🤗❤️
Why? They hate the whole world.
When they are wrong they never apologize.
14 years not one apology ever.
32 years & I just got it from my older sister.
@@Mentalhealthmattersthemost I'm learning about the narcissism and don't really get it or why, its kind-off that song from forieghner called head games =so if I ever get my girl We'd be happy watching ants build their deffencesive castle and get excited when they got a crumb for desert = then after that id take her to dairy queen just to look at a nice view at where she wanted to look at with no words or some bs talk. Now ill probably get labeled.
They will talk over you when they are wrong so that they don’t here the truth.. and won’t admit to even if they are wrong.
Or when they do it is not genuine. They just start all over with all their crap.
You don't beat Narcissists. You leave them.
By law you will leave them
The best way to win is to not play their game
What if they're your parents?
Yes!
Honey, He is leaving me. Many years of being put down, lied to, picked on, stolen from, being talked about like a dog, from happy always smiling, young and pretty to being a totally negative depressed flop. Well, I am not feeding him my happiness, my mental health, he is the reason I have heart failure, but heck, I do pretty good with it, and I still have my looks. Never want another relationship, I will roll just fine. I guess I am one of the lucky ones!
Just being calm works too. No matter how much they freak out, remain calm, talk normally.
I do that and Tell them to check their blood pressure otherwise I'm calling EMS.
Do. Exactly what I do.
This angers them too
Absolutely correct.👍🏻
No, that doesn't work. They will just find a new angle and carry on.
This type of thing should be taught at school.
yes, yes, and yes
When people complain about how terrible other people in this world can be it’s usually the same types of complaints that we hear, and they’re usually the traits of a person with some type of cluster B personality disorder (narcissists, borderlines, and antisocials in particular) and yet these are probably the least understood and least considered by the average person. Schools really should incorporate lessons on these as part of the regular curriculum in order to prepare young people for what they’re gonna run into in romantic relationships, jobs, and maybe even to help them to be able to cope better with their own family members
Maby I would have realized I was being abused before I was an adult
Y. E. S. They have health class...why not mental health class? Might even take some pressure off the less than adequate psychologist available to young people.
Yes! So many people would be able to begin to recognize a real problem before it is out of hand. If I had more info available to me, I would have been able to get my three boys and myself out much earlier.
"I don't care" is the best answer when the try to blackmail you. That destroy them.
Get a recording, and go to the cops.
I have found it the most satisfying!
True
He hates when I tell him that ha ha ha lmao
S. A. " I dont care " is the best thing to say to them..... It drives them crazy.....!!!
Hell hath no fury like MY SILENCE..
Yessss!!!❤❤
❤️❤️❤️
I've experienced four and a half years of being with a covert narcissist and this video concerns me very much. Most of the advice is severly triggering to a narcissist. This could easily push them over the edge. A narcissist pushed this far can be very dangerous, ether spontaneously or with premeditation. Do not try to provoke a narcissist but plan a careful exit from the relationship. Do not humiliate or cause them to lose face. Keeping yourself safe is paramount.
Yes I completely agree. I'd feel sick after eating his food, scratches and dents in my car, laundry go missing off the clothesline and recently important letters missing, can't prove any of it was him
@debe-ol6cg
The creep in my life right now has been doing exactly the same thing...drawers with woolen sweaters that were so full the drawer wouldn't close easily...now half empty
Jewelry in the nightstand drawers gone...just empty jewelry boxes...tools gone, etc😢
YES. My daughter is doing this to my husband and myself right now as we are trying to move away. Unbelievable things. Everything missing including things needed for our bad health. On top of verbally, emotionally, psychologically abusing us and threatening. This is very true and tragically sad.
I agree. Have to be very careful. My ex has lots of narcissistic characteristics & his dad was definitely NPD or possibly a sociopath. My exes mum told him to never tell his dad that he’s wrong because he will stab you while your in your bed 😳 so yes, you have to know who you’re dealing & if you’re not sure, it’s better play it safe.
while my ex would flip with outbursts etc (we all know the signs) he was subdue & pretty quiet around his dad. Even he knew he could push his dad.
Re: the ex…I’ve read before that some people can have learned narc traits from a parent, without being fully NPD themselves. Or he was just a more covert & had me more fooled & confused as to what he was 😆
I agree. Some of this would work possibly, and some would cause him to get even
I love that quote: “Not today, Satan! “ Their behavior is EVIL!!!’😈😈😈
Imagine if you actually said that to THEM???
I have 2 signs in my back car window. Maybe today Satan. And get behind me satan.
Me too
Gorgeous
Yup! Misery loves company, and the narcs do everything they can to sabotage your happiness.
In the calmest voice possible after she has tried to provoke me or guilt trip me: “Are you finished?” That worked so well. Once she saw I was completely indifferent to her and she wasn’t going to get anything out of me, she was completely shutdown. Two years free from her and life just keeps getting better.
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Oh, I LOVE
"are you finished" after a rage fit or a tirade😅
Nice 😂
My wife knowing full well how much I hated looking for things would hide stuff on me. Like my wallet and other things. When she asked about the things that were missing I would just casually say yeah it’s missing and I don’t care because I know it will show up eventually. And it would.
I lived with a narcissist for way too long. I blame myself for allowing it to happen. It was the best day of my life when it finally ended with me picking my clothes up off the front lawn and living in my car for several months. I was homeless but happy.
Kudos to you! It must have been tough, but oh so fulfilling! We are responsible for allowing it to happen, but don't forget to forgive ourselves in order to be truly free of them!
I am about to be in the same situation, I've tried to leave a few times in the last few months, he just knows me so intimately I have shared everything about myself and he is better at the game and makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave. Ugh, I just doubt things sometimes I don't have proof so I'm crazy. But I know things are off now I just lost my job because of all the chaos with him In a mess most days, this i know is what he wants i make more than him he has been trying to get me to quit for 2 years. Sigh, thanks for listening I know I would be happier in my car, I have so much shit I need to start getting rid of stuff.
@@JulietteSales-y8f Do you have any friends or family that would help you get out? My problem was that she made sure I had no friends and everyone in my family passed away. I wish you the best.
Narcassists HATE 2c you HAPPY,ESPECIALLY IF THE NARCASSIST IS A FORMER PARTNER OR FRIEND!! That burns their A$$ 2 no end!!! But they will be forever believing their assumptions was CORRECT despite evidence 2 the contrary!
This sounds like my case. Putting up with a Narcissist for over 20years was sickening 😪. I almost passed on but for God's grace that liberated me. The day I walked out the door with few of my clothes stocked in the trunk of my car , I was free both spiritual and physical. It wasn't easy but it was worth it today. They're the worst thing that can happen to any normal person.
My personal favorite: "Not today Satan!"
❤️
I heart this remark. I love it. I have a ex bf narcissistic ex bf. His name is Greg Myers. I got thrown. It's not funny for violence. At least my ex will have a loong sentence for my safety.
Lmao
@@abcabc-cb1vj at least I have a restraining order and I keep it and my baby. I'll keep my baby away from my ex boyfriend's parents. I don't need narcissist people raising my baby. Like hell they will go near me and my baby.
@@123arrrggggg May God bless them
You need to be very careful when leaving a narcissist. My ex-husband became very dangerous once he realized I saw through his facade. I was afraid he would kill me or my kids. I got the help of a psychologist who knew how dangerous a narcissist is to help me navigate through getting him out of the house. As tempting as it is, it isn't a good idea to piss off a narcissist.
Agreed my dog was stabbed
It’s TRUE…my sister escaped - initially - she left him (her husband) then went into a battered women’s shelter with her doggie 🐶. He didn’t like that AT ALL. She was getting her life back together, then about a year later, this POS tracked her down: hE FOUND HER - a *bloody narcissist* shot my sister in the head, then dismembered her and burned the place down. 💔😖😫😩 Luckily for my family, the COWARD also did himself in before setting the fire…10 January of this year was the 30th “anniversorry” of one of the worst days of my entire life…💔💔
I never learned what happened to her ‘Bandit’ (short-legged, cutie-pie, happy little mutt😉 with a ring around his one eye like “Peetie” (“Peety?”🤔) from the “Little Rascals”)…🥺 No doubt he was there, too…😖😥
Some folks CARRY & NOT AFRAID to Defend! Narcissists KNOW , WHO NOT to THREATEN
I was terrified my last husband would kill me. Thankful.. I'm breathing and free from his control.🙏🌈
@@samreynolds3789 agreed
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. They will treat you so horribly, that you will become withdrawn & depressed & then they will turn around & say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams✨☘️🙏
grey rocking has this affect as well. Once you accept the truth & protect yourSelf, then there's no need to wallow in depression. Then you just become mindful of interaction & pay attention to how they're trying to trigger a reaction or response from you... basically become boring to them, by not feeding them your emotions. When they can't manipulate your emotional state, then it's draining for them to be around... not the same type of drain that an empathic person goes through with a narc, but moreso, because they need your emotions & life force, to support their process.. if they can't get it like they once did, then they'll look for someone else to get it from.
'they' ...will treat you etc.
Not gender specific with narcissism
@@oftin_wong Yes of course, 100percent concur with you :-Sorry i were just quoting *Susan Williams* Obviously, she's just sharing her own individual experiences which obviously, from her quotes, happened with a male:-However, i've ammended now to "they" My sincere apologies :-Hope lifes treating you extremely kindly ✨☘️🙏
@@evelina787 wow a bit overboard on the apology
I wasn't making a personal criticism at all.
Thanks anyway but it's fine ...relax
Oh my God, literally my ex tried to ship me off to my family because he no longer wanted to be in the relationship with me I was so deep in a depression spiral. Literally said those words to me.
He broke up with my right before Christmas and kept flip flopping. Accused me of cheating(even though he broke up with me?) And claimed that I didn't cherish, love or respect him. Took 7 break ups but better late than never!
“I don’t care” and walking away works very well
Worked for me
Didn't he grab you and hit you ??😮
A dog in sheep's clothing is a face full at the end of departing.
Walk away like a big baby😂
@@agnesrossini9490 Gaslighting. What do you want?
1. Praise for others
2. "That's not true."
3. "I will not ..."
4. "I cannot ... for you."
5. "You lost." (Game, etc.)
6. "You're wrong."
7. "I don't care." (When you reach the point of apathy and they can't get to you.)
8. "I'm busy."
9. "Not now."
10. "No."
Thks for listing them
Great List Thank You
i already use all those magic words to my narc ex bf, and iam letting him go now so i can be free, my heart and my soul :)
2. And 6. Caused Narcissist to explode and retaliate.
This comes off as wisdom of the world trying to navigate wrg behavior & attitudes. Hope ppl remember if a woman divorces her husband & marries another while the former is still alive is committing adultery. (1corinth7:39)
I used to tell my ex. “Go tell the tree outside because it’s going to care more than I do “. He hated that. Lol. 23 years free. Thank you Jesus. Hallelujah
Hallelujah 💕✨
LoL that's a funny one 😂
SO HAPPY FOR U. U DO NOT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT U GETTING OUT OF THAT TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. 😇😇😇
U GO KIM. PRAISE JESUS.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
No phrases needed, you walk away from them.
Too bloody right
Definitely the most healthy thing to do my dude 😎👌
Just make sure you watch your back. They will attack you from behind like a coward.
Thank you. Because they might try to kill you. Trust me.
Is easy to say , have many times to walk away but he use many reason to bring me back and manipulation deciving , God let me come out from this narsistic marriage
Narcissist say " you'll never find no one like me .! Then my funny come back is I don't want to find no one like you ."😂😂😂 LOL. I truly said that .
Lol! Best clapback I have ever heard! I'm taking notes! 👏🏼🤣 📝
Exactly!!!!
Omg really it's my madam word
I say, omg! I hope not
@@tarrantcountykid LMFAO! Love your comment! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I feel the best way to deal with a narcissist, is to ignore them completely. They like to argue, so just cut the call. If they send nasty messages, block them. It's just too tiring to deal with them.
So right it's scary
In truth ignoring them really does work, but it does limit the potential somewhat for revenge. I prefer to counter their outrageous behavior with my own brand of eccentric peculiarities. It puzzles them and never fails to put them on kilter while providing me with so much fun. You can never however take them seriously, or you'll lend credence to their own internal sense of turmoil. Pissing them off is a lifetime pursuit of mine.
hey so I can understand that. Mine's very controlling, manipulative, runs me down behind my back. His only nice to get his foot in the door. I've been sick many times from eating his food, things go missing off my clothesline, scratches n dents in my car, recently important letters went missing from mailbox but I can't prove any of it was him. He's so needy but I know he only wants a free ride from everyone, he's so fake it's ridiculous. Wish I never fell in love with him that's for sure.
@@IAintNobody1445 I agree wholeheartedly! I hope you have made it or will soon make it out of the relationship you refer to.
I was with my abusive narcissist for a long time and through experience learned not to say the things that this video recommends. So I wouldn’t recommend that to you or anyone else.
I’d go so far as to recommend not deliberately provoking anyone with mental health issues.
You don’t know how bad their reaction will be.
So for me the value of the video is in learning what not to say, and helping to understand the effect of (my or others’) words on the narcissist.
Yes, they are so tiring to deal with. It’s exhausting. I finally learned that it’s best to ignore them. I’ve gone no contact with my brother. It’s been years now. I’m living in peace now.
“whatever” with the calm walk away is the best weapon ever.
Whatever can also be used by the narcissist. It depends on how it is used. Whatever is not always okay to say to people. Your dad tells you to cut the grass and you say whatever, then that isn't right either.
I agree. It drives them, not you , up the wall.
I agree with Jason depends on person and if they are in presence of flying monkeys. My narc had a flying monkey with them and after I said whatever and walked away I was called rude even though they were accusing me of things and smearing my name.
@@Respect2theFallen I win!!!!
My ex boyfriend uses" whatever " on me. He is the narc and uses that when Im trying to talk about his addictions or somethingshameful. He watches videos as everyone else is the narc and plays the victim. I'm trying to understand this disorder. He definitely doesn't like it when I tell him I'm not playing his games. I win!
"Hell hath no fury like a narcissist scorned." So true. Freedom rules!
That is probably the worst divorce from a narcissistic family member, partner, friend, co-worker or anyone in which you engaged.
But👈🏽nothing can stand a chance against the forces of God.
@@Iarrived Yes, but when it comes to narcissists, only God can help or change them. We're best off staying far away from them. They're possessed by demons. Only God can deal with that. I learned that the hard way.
@@raven4090 Well put sister.👏🏽Preaching to the choir. Nothing could be more truer.🙏🏽✝️❤️
So true. My daughter hung up on me on Christmas day in a rage because I told her that she was turning a blind eye to the truth because the truth didn't suit her (we were having "words" about a "certain medical thing"). My birthday was a couple of weeks later and she couldn't even be bothered to text me a b'day greeting. Well I guess she showed ME huh? We haven't spoken since. I wasn't sure what to do about it at first, but then I decided that it would be best to just stay away for now. Hmmmmmm.... sheesh, I never thought that she would be such a jerk to me--we used to be so close. Sigh. A lot of people seem to be experiencing this nowadays. The world is becoming full of narcissists (just look at social media). Hugs to all whose lives have been upturned by this unpleasant behavior.
I said all those things recently to my narc husband and he has gone into a spin..narc injury. When I said you don't have control over me anymore has brought on war.
Narcissists can leave you feeling overwhelmed and disempowered especially with high conflict situations. Our free webinar will give you easy steps to flip the power dynamic and break free. Sign up right here www.icanslay.com ✨
I’m not with him anymore, that makes me the winner!
Nice ! Such a difficult accomplishment but ot feels so good and things will look up from now on! Just don't fall for any Hoovers
You DEFINITELY are! ❤
My all-time favorite is to laugh sincerely and say, "You're funny!"
I may be afraid of his reaction though
Mine is they just talk over you and not let you say the truth
I'm using that one tomorrow can't wait- 7years with a narcissist and just starting to learn what he is now I new something was wrong but finally have a term for it getting ready to leave-
@@candiceadams7477 yuup
@@Gracejmh1 so glad you are leaving and will eventually e able to live a normal life...whatever that is😉JK bit be aware because he will try wveeything to get you back! They are not the winner when you leave them!
They don't care about anything that concerns you. Almost trapped in the center of their own universe unable to empathize with anyone they deem an inconvenience. Don't get in the way of a narcs happiness. There's only one person in a monogamous relationship when a narc is included.
True. My struggles were a weakness in their eyes
Yes, it's a one person squad
I 🏆 I WIN! !!!....
AMEN!!!!!!!
Yeah I realised that, they dont give a damn about you or anything you do. Your pain your pleasure, nothing.
YES, THEY LOVE TO MAKE YOU VALIDATE YOURSELF N EXPLAIN WHY WHENEVER YOU DO SOMETHING OR DONT DO SOMETHING! NEVER GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION. REDIRECT THE QUESTION TO THEM AND LIST OFF ABOUT FIVE THINGS THEY DO OR CHOOSE NOT TO DO, AND MAKE THEM HAVE TO VALIDATE THEMSELVES! OR SAY, JUST BECAUSE! OR, NO REASON, OR BECAUSE I WANT TO/DONT WANT TO, OR (THEY HATE THIS ONE BC IT SHOWS POWER N AUTONOMY) BECAUSE I CAN!
“I disagree” is all it takes to shut them down.
That makes it worse 🤷♂️
I found that "Thanks, its not of interest to me" works well too.
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
My narcissist is doing the silent treatment now, it’s great!!!!!
The word salad when in rage mode is incredible.
It surely is!!
Do fun stuff without the narc. Play Fu Manchu (loud, headphones if you are in appartment) when you get the silent treatment. Plan a date with the narc and when they decide at the last minute to not go, trying to control the situation, go yourself.
If they do take you up in the date, walk out at the first sign of behaviour that is getting on your nerves. Dont say anything, and stick them with the bill. Let them find their own way home. Yeah, I've done these things. Yeah, it might make me a bit of a d*ck. But its better than sucking up. They will do you a huge favor by dumping you. You cant buy that kind of good fortune, run with it.
Lol I get it gonna through the same thing
In their twisted minds, they think they are punishing us when they give us the silent treatment. In reality, the silence gives way to clarity as we are able to ponder how much less stressful our lives are without them invading our existences. That's what led me to do a list of pros and cons regarding my narcissistic former friend. Once I subtly went no contact with her, my stress level went way down. Naturally, she didn't notice till months later that I had cut her off completely. I'll spare you the soap opera that was her trying to recruit flying monkeys to spy on me to see if I was talking about her. I wasn't, but she was dead convinced she was so interesting I couldn't let her go. It was pathetic, really. For clarity, this was not a former love interest or even a girlfriend. She was just an older lady I was friends with and our relationship was purely transactional on her part. She flipped out and threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed her only grandchild. Just giving you an idea of how old she was when she realized she had lost me forever. Crazy woman.
It’s not YOUR narcissist.
I’ve found it’s best not to engage with narcissists. I mostly just walk away! They hate it but it’s okay with me.
Fuk em if they hate it. 😂
Ye but how do u know someone is a narcissist on the first look?
norway: they comes with many form(satan-devil-evil-with flying monkeys with tiny......!)
💯
Stopped reacting to the catalyst remarks. When the narc is on the warpath, I withdraw into my own little area. This keeps the situation under control and is a mental saviour.
Ive always found it strange my narc dad literally could not stand to see people relaxing.
Oh snap I can relate
I've seen that before too. For the example I'm thinking of, I wonder if it's because at some point in their life they 'learned' that someone's worth was based on their productivity.
I've apologized to a narcissist because I was in the wrong and he still managed to make me feel like shit for it. For the apology
I can totally relate
That is what they do. Just know the universe heard you ❤
Being punished for doing good.
Because it makes them feel small because they Never apologize. So instead they try to make you feel small!!
Because it makes them feel small because they Never apologize. So instead they try to make you feel small!!
Working with narcissists, I found the phrase "Duly noted" to be pretty effective, especially after it became known that I documented the behavior of one. It's been years, and I have never actually sent a report to management about them, but they still check their behavior around me. And I've taught this trick to new employees who said it was very effective too.
Thanks for another informative video. Gotta go to work now.
:)
Love that phrase, so calm and professional!
👍
Makes you sound like a warwagon. Don't lose your own humanity and join them.
@@rogerweatherman8349 That's a way of NOT "losing my humanity and joining them". They tend to relish a good fight, and frequently seem to be trying to initiate one. So when they try to start an argument, this is a way of saying that I have "noted what they have said and given it due consideration". But I also end the conversation there. So I DO NOT "join them" in an argument. And management has repeatedly said that management cannot do anything unless they have documentation. They've essentially requested it. So yes, I do document their harassment of both myself and the guests that stay in our homeless shelter. I have not turned in one word to management, but the abusers checked their behavior around me and other employees who let it be known that they were documenting, and that has helped to protect the guests. Meanwhile disciplinary meetings have begun occurring with the abusive employees, and two of the worst have taken a leave of absence and three of the worst quit. Interestingly, when it was just suggested to the narcissists that they could be held accountable for their behavior, many of them immediately took off. To me, that said that they knew that what they were doing was wrong.
@@elverdad6805 Well done Sir. The Inuit have a word for Psychopaths, " Kunlangeta", which means those who know better but do it anyway. They go off hunting and one says he is sick and stays behind. When they come back their women are all pregnant and their food is all gone. They take them outt on the ice, shoot them in the back of the head and let the animals clean them up. Trick is not to mate with them, and let them create more.
When finally he hit me after 8.5 years he told me he wanted me to just shut the f. up and had to hit me to shut me up. Ha. I. Win. I left and been free for almost 2 years
You should have called the police
And STAY FREE!!!!!!!!
Yes they like to get physical , then tell lies to authority , she called police ,, pokicee asked me shall we take her away ! Lol
Great advice. Wise and wonderful. Narcissists prey on empaths and good hearted souls.
It's Time to Break Free for Good...Let's Do This! Sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- slay.rebeccazung.com/outsmart-narc 💪
They prey on a mentally strong person. Truly a stupid person.
I used to say “Ask me if I care.” He hated that lol 😂
Nice one !
The one thing I never liked was “oh well” ... it was a huge response to everything back in the mid 80’s.
Thats a good one!!!
Woooo hoooo good one.
I'd tell them, " Don't start." Diffuses the situation before it starts.
The one which worked best for me "I'll never apologize for telling you the truth." The 17 year long silent treatment began that day and is going strong! Freedom!!!
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Yeah. That can penetrate Some !
I dealt with this tonight. Are you sorry, yeah why are you sorry, actually no I'm not at all sorry for saying the truth
@@RiverRatSurfers Are you safe in your current circumstances? Do you have people who can help you?
SAME HERE! My Ex was ALWAYS demanding I owed him an apology for something he did & that it was MY fault he did it... UM.. NO!
I agree with most everything here except the "I win," and "You're wrong," because you can never convince a narcissist he's wrong or he hasn't won because even if they make you so angry that you walk away and ignore them, they feel as if they've "won" and heaven help you if your narcissist is vicious on top of it. Before I knew what narcissism was I couldn't understand why my father acted like he'd won some great prize in making me so mad I left and ignored him for months. I imagine he still feels like a winner even though I haven't seen or spoken to him since 2015.
I ALMOST married a narcissist. The first year was wonderful, but the 2 years after that when we were together just got steadily worse. He ALWAYS picked fights about insignificant stuff, or nothing at all. One day, he picked a fight, blaming me for stuff that I had never done, and were never intending on doing, all kinds of stuff. At one point, he was raging pissed, and I had clapped back at him about something where we BOTH knew I was in the right, he was in the wrong, and I had called him out about it. So he up and says to me, "Well, you wanna know what I think??!!" I looked him dead in the eyes, and said to him, "Mike, I don't think it's humanly possible for me to care ANY less than I do in this moment what YOU think,". That was all I said, and I held his gaze the whole time, and after I finished the sentence. I gave him that facial expression that clearly backed up what I had just said. I had never stood up to him before then, not like that, and the look of horror and shock on his face has been etched into my brain ever since that moment. This happened 20 years ago. Since then, he has spent the last 20 years doing so much to try to screw me over, turn people against me, talk bad about me to others, get back into my life as a friend, all kinds of crap. It's still going on now, 20 years later. I have since moved on, gotten married, and moved WELL away from him. I feel alot better without him. It would have been the worst mistake of my life if I had married him and had kids with him. If we had had kids together, I would have to interact with him at various functions for the rest of my life. Nope. Glad I dodged that narcissistic bullet.
My mother was a narcissist, my childhood was all screwed up. It took years of therapy to confront all the problems I had because of her. Today, I refuse to allow another narcissist in my life, even to the point of blocking my own granddaughter, which she thought was just awful and her words to me were, "You're going to die a lonely old woman" I'm not alone, I have other family and friends who care.
You are a winner and I salute you for that :)
I 🏆 IWIN!!!!!!.......
Ahh! Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner😊!...ENJOY! Shalom❤️💜❤️
Yes it is better to be alone than to be around a Narcissist.
One of my sisters told me the same thing when I avoided her. It is confusing and hard to do, while listening to your conscience.
I am so glad I found your channel!
I honestly cannot express enough how much this is helping me realize what friends and family tried to get me to see for ages…
Was in a three year relationship off and on with someone. Fell so hard. Got left homeless, taken back, left again, still got strung along and a week later she is engaged.
I had no idea these people existed.
Yes we all make mistakes…say the wrong things, take the wrong actions…but some people are out of this world..I felt like I was going insane.
I had her drive me to a facility because I wanted to end it all…all while she continued to scream over me while I cried on the floor…I was that deep..
Thank you for your channel, your advice, insight, everything.
I wish I’d known all this when divorcing a bipolar narcissist twenty years ago. I’m glad you are educating people. 👏
Me 2
It's great you knew that it was wrong enough to get away from that person even though there wasn't a term coined for that mental issue at that time.
Me to! It took 15 years after leaving the narc to finally get him out of my life
Ditto! 24 yrs ago he’d been arrested for the 3rd time and managed to manipulate the system n secured a divorce attorney to assist him. It was a 23 yr marriage nearly destroying me. That was 24 yrs ago, we lost our USMC youngest son who ran away from him/us to the marines because of the narcissistic turmoil was relentless, my WASband continues to try to mess with me by messing around with/AT our deceased son’s grave. I can write a book, however, back then it seems the system was ignorant to NARCISSISM…thank God for affective therapy ….
My experience with courts, divorce, children was that the so called professional people just accepted his threatening, bulling manipulative behavior and gave him what he wanted for fear he would make further complains about them. It was an horrendous time. If professionals can't stand up to a narc with no prior involvement with them and further the unsubstantiated smear and vendetta against the victims then these useless professional people should be held to account and struck off!!
Without words, what absolutely works the best is to genuinely laugh when they look at you, it makes their blood boil! It leaves the narcissist wondering what your laughing about, whether it be about them, your happiness, or just the mere fact fact that they have no inclination what the laughter is all about.
Narcists are crazy! Period..
More than that. They are rotten.. 😭😭
@@Wau12345 yes 🤮🤮🤮
@@jcbanbury . . .and usually drunk (my tormenter sister)
@@juliemiller9760 there is often substance abuse with narcs, usually alcohol and or weed. They do it for escapism because they have extremely low emotional intelligence.
Evil is more like it!
So many people are tragically affected by a narc for years without knowing there is such a thing.
That was me!
I did not know nothing about it and wasted 7 years and my heart was destroyed, but I fought my way back. A lot of pain and tears of how I was done.
That was me... it nearly destroyed me. The therapist literally gave me a lawyers number and told me you won't survive if you don't get out. I listened... still single 12 years later.
So true.!! At 59 I realized my mother was a textbook narcissist. I cut her out of my life 9 months ago and my marriage became so much better. I thought narcissist was just slang word for a mean or controlling person not realizing these people live amongst us. It’s awesome being free.
Thank you. I’ve just begun a divorce with a narcissist. I’m so relieved that I’m not going crazy.
My daughter is about to file for divorce . This is such good advice . Watch all her videos if u can .Hang in there , you can get through this and finally have a peaceful happy life . Good bless
Me to!
@@pamaladarsow2763 my daughter also, prayers for yours and mine.
How're doing Nina? I hope you're holding up OK, getting divorced is difficult regardless of the situation add a narcissist in the mix and let the emotional blackmail begin. Nina cut ties completely if you can, be gental with yourself and lean on others because they really do care about you. Believe what sincere people tell you, those that can you in the eyes without blinking for 3 seconds. Take care.
Hang in there...its not easy but you have a community supporting you
THESE 10 sentences are in fact a complete box of fantastic 😃 'first aid responder' tools. LOVE them! Thank you SO MUCH for this concise video❤
I won after 16 years of marriage. On the road to recovery and I’m feeling great
Thank you for these great videos 😘
Dennis. Check out the posts on here from Neville Goddard. He is inspiring and his books are experiencing a boom. Good Luck. :)
God Bless you! I'm enjoying 20 years of freedom from the prior marriage of nearly 20 years that truly drove me to drinking. Rock on, Dennis!
@@petegdula4749 Thank you. All the best to you and your recovery embrace every day take care of your health 👍
🎉🎉🎉 that's great
So true! I have text messages, videos and he still says not true. He is so twisted in his fake self it’s insane. It’s like split personality. He says he’s never lied lol…
Same. Even charged in court for elbowing me in the face: that not true. Never happened. Headbutted me in the face in front of 3 friends? They are liars and it never happened. Must have been dreaming...... just insane.
I've noticed all narcissist say they never lie.
Saying that is a lie
I know what you're saying. I had that too. Well God my ex's dirty mail. At least I have what God gave me. Joy. I'll laugh at the enemy's face because people that don't live for God do things contrary to scripture. My ex boyfriend. I laughed when he thought otherwise..
Yes, HUGE split personality! It is so disgusting and gets so old.
I have video too and he said it’s not him. I’m in the video with him 🤦🏻♀️ Ty for sharing. It’s that insanity that think we never figure out. It does take a while to figure it and then out but when we do and finally do something about it, it turns on them and they Freak out! And it scrambles their psychotic crap! Man, when I turned it on him, my narc ex, it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers with the chick bots blowing up 😂🤣😂😆😆👍👍👍
There is one more phrase they hate and that’s “whatever “. From my experience with narcs it shows that this one is the worst 😱
I agree totally. Mine always says NO NOT WHATEVER. It's my go to saying 👍
Yes ma'am he is
My ex would say “whatever” and I hated it, he must have known I hated it if he hated it too.
They hate hearing it just as much as they love saying it.
Anita..I totally agree. Saying WHATEVER is like a fork in their eye. They see stars. Their twisted warped minds have no way to respond to that because it throws them into a state of confusion. They can not figure it out when you say it. Its perfect because all they want to hear is the word YES!
Absolutely agree I have been with someone for 10 years and your spot on. I’ve always thought there’s something not right and now I can see it we’re not together and everything you said is exactly the way they are Jenny thank you.
Before I knew my husband was a narcissist or knew anything about narcissists, I found myself doing these exact things. But, I felt driven to do these responses to preserve my sanity.
Dear Sally , I always asked my hubby , why did you marry me ? I am not a push over !
I left my ex when I noticed I too was exhibiting learned bad behavior. It was not me anymore. Got.. ME back and love myself to the moon and back🙏
Married a man who read the Bible eight times and had preacher's license when he took me home after a honeymoon he really couldn't afford pressured me for the piddly thousand dollars I had in my savings account that I had long before I ever met him I was told I was selfish self-centered a b**** I was devastated crushed and then I took an incredible violence and was told that it didn't happen or it did happen but it was my fault I'm 130 lb this guy is 260 lbs I'm the one who started it I tried to hit him it was devastating to the core but it was interesting to be taken home from a honeymoon and told you have health insurance now you can see a psychiatrist I was very confused I thought we were going to be Christians that believed in the word of God and that God didn't give me a spirit of fear but love power and a soundclear thinking mind. BeRated me constantly about if anyone cheats it'll be me and it kept it up and kept it up and I come to find out this guy had a hidden lust when is showed it's ugly head, wow had I just been tricked I had just been tricked out 12 years of my life by religious hypocrites it was most mortifying. And I was robbed for as much as possible done to a defenseless woman. I found the law the wrong ignorant Church heads provoked and incited this person to do even more damage to me and the children involved. Nothing but a hoax I swear on my life nothing but a hoax.
Same here. Then I finally realized saying anything to them is a waste.
Me too
This is a great video! Looking back I can hear him freaking out after I ‘ve said some of these things. It’s so clear now. I’m glad I figured out he was a narcissist with the thanks of people like you sharing things like this topic! Thanks! ...and I win!!!!
I laughed out loud at the first one. I worked with a overtly narcissistic new hire. I quickly realized that he HATED when I would compliment other people, so I started doing it ALL THE TIME!
The beginning of the end for him is when we got another new hire, and I would just gush about how great she was. He quickly imploded, and quit.
True story.
That just sounds rude
You sound like the narcissist. Lol.
YES two can play the game. YOU nor I have to tolerate the Narcs behavior and Over riding
Often wins the day..
I AM BOSS in my World not the narc....
Awesome story!
@@jamest2861
Actually, I was targeted by a covert "Mean Girl" style Narc at work. She had a little group of "flying monkeys" who joined her in bullying b/c it gave them a sense of belonging & Power. It was inevitably other gals she went after, never guys. No Sisterhood of mutual support exists in some women's minds, which is just sad. We'll only work our way towards equality *together.*
I wasn't able to confirm what set her off, as far as her behavior towards me. I'm a hard worker & try to get along w/ *Everyone.* However, her tendency to reveal her *deep insecurities* by calling other gals "peacocks" if they received kudos of *any* kind leads me to think she felt threatened. I suspect I was targeted b/c I was selected as a newbie to hand out awards at a conference, while she ran slides instead. From then on, she made it clear that she *hated* me, while hiding her true nature from most others (esp anyone male & *above* our level).
She went out of her way to make my office life *Hell* for 2.5 years, till I *finally* went to HR. I would have Loved it if 1 of our bosses had been a *real* leader & addressed her behavior *Much Sooner.* What pushed me to it was when a 3rd person quit b/c of her bullying. A black gal she targeted, in the midst of our DEI campaign. What *horrid* optics there, on top of the *shocking unfairness* of it all.
Over the years, I *did* seek *candid guidance/advice* from a few of our departmental leaders (just the group I supported directly). I simply provided a few quick examples, then would ask "How best should I handle it?". The most *honest* response I got was "No one wants to tell her boss (our EVP), b/c he really likes her". Worst advice received was "Oh, you 2 girls need to just learn to get along" from a male superior. She's in her 40s, I'm in my 50's. I personally haven't identified as a "girl" in about 3 decades, but whatever. 🙄
I never fought back, didn't argue w/ her. I just *refused* to become 1 of her minions (she had a couple of those already). *Nor* would I join her in bullying others, which seemed to be her goal. I *helped* her other targets, instead, when I could (they were mostly new hires she was *supposed to* process-train but wouldn't). Otherwise, I simply became more introverted & went *"gray rock"* w/ her for my own sanity & job security.
*Nothing* was done about it until I finally clued HR in to the fact that she'd driven 3 other employees to Quit (narcs *rarely* have just 1 target). She'd once stated to me in conversation that she "knew HR's job better than they did" and took it upon herself to "chase away anyone who doesn't fit in".
So, I made sure that HR knew she was undermining their efforts, as well as wasting chunks of their hiring budget. When we add up the costs of advertising, interviewing & doing background checks/screenings, that comes to a fairly *significant* total cost per person. Esp when the company's struggling to cut costs to pay for ongoing IT projects.
Now, that company's stock is *in the toilet* for the 2nd year in a row. The HQ office (our location) just *laid off* 50% of its staff. For the "survivors", there's a big "Win Trust" initiative to *improve morale & reduce turnover* throughout the company, nationwide. Just 1 narc employee in a high enough position can *wreak havoc.*
It all starts at the Top, where co. culture is concerned, and spreads from there. Any firm that *allows* bullying will have an *uphill battle* when it comes to *repairing broken trust.*
So, that's why I *Love* this poster's comment. *Real leaders* Don't allow that BS. Sadly, there are *too few* of those folks around, much of the time. People w/ the *gumption & Integrity* to stand up to unreasonable A-holes are my *heroes.* They recognize the dangers to the company, and *care enough* about their workforce to "take out the trash" before it *stinks up* the joint.
It's a bigger challenge for those of us who grew up in chaotic homes w/ a narc parent. Bullying becomes *normalized,* to the point that we willingly take further abuse from others. (I only spoken up when I saw the impact on *other* Good people). Even w/ 4 years of therapy & a cross-country move, I *still* didn't escape the effects of early abuse. I belatedly realized that's *why* I'd put up w/ such treatment in this situation for as long as I did.
*Never, ever again* will I stick around for *that* nonsense. I have a *strong allergy* to it now. Unfortunately, the widespread existence of *generational trauma* has us living in a world full of *broken people.* That makes the *heroes* who nip that 💩 in the bud *all the More valuable.*
*HOORAY FOR THEM!!* 😃
“No” elicited the most hateful reaction I’ve ever experienced.
it is strongly advised to never use the word NO to someone with an acute mental illness, it usually results in abuse threats property damage serious harm to self and others,
yes, it changed everything....
They cannot stand the word, “Whatever.” Which is very close to what Rebecca said about “I don’t care.”
One of my daughters says "cool" every-time mum threatens or takes something away from her. She has to pay a fine when she says it though.
Repeat after me; "No, that's not going to work." Their effort to try to manipulate you stops right there. It is as though you brought them back to a point in their childhood and you are the parent. It is a definitive signal/trigger to them that says; "Don't waste your oh so valuable breath- they are not buying it/under your spell anymore so just move on."
" A good parasite doesn't kill it's host "
Christiian K Rondow 👍✨
Narcissist didnt get the memo.
Amen.
Mine tried to kill me repeatedly.
@Gemma Dann mine was a covert malignant, demon possessed parent. Went no contact 8 years ago and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done! Prayers for all of us!!!
@Gemma Dann oh they’ll never just go away I’m afraid. The only way you’ll get away from them is if you make the decision that no matter what happens you’re leaving and not looking back. RUN don’t walk away and SLAM the door in their Face!! You can’t help them as they’re perfect in their own minds. They’re incapable of love as that actually requires giving and they’re demon possessed and evil and only care about sucking their environment dry of all energy. True parasites. They’ll fight tooth and claw to keep their hooks in you. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain better getting as far away from them as possible and they’ve got everything to lose if you’re successful in learning to leave them behind and start your healing process. It’s not easy. Prayers and love for us all!!!
This is great. Unfortunately my parents were somewhat narcissistic and told me that 'being nice is the right thing to do'. So, I totally fell for, annoyingly, more than one narcissist. Your words are all about having excellent boundaries. And it is really nice to hear good boundary words. It feels good to hear them, even better to say them. Narcissist hate boundaries!!
Same
I stumbled upon these videos and realized my mom is a narcissist. My whole life I wondered what was wrong with her.. 😅 recently I told her, "let's agree to disagree." I swear I saw smoke come out of her ears.
My mums the same. They are like big babies 🤣🤣🤣
Narcissists live for having control in the moment. If saying one thing one minute then saying the opposite the next keeps them in control, they'll do it.
Yes, completely contradictory. No wonder I used to think it was some kind of bipolarity
He knows he can't control me and is always afraid that if I start fussing with him he can't win I out fuss him every time I told him the other day to go eat a shit sandwich he kept quiet for the rest of the week lol
@Gemma Dann I don't know how old your daughter was at the time, but I wonder what his response would have been if she had had a 'wee' accident....
Been there. My father screamed at me for hours on end, at least once a week, for at least three hours. Best response is to escape, by whatever means possible.
@Gemma Dann with people like that, 'no contact' is the only effective response. That means no intermediaries who can play flying monkey games.
@Gemma Dann Thwarted marcissists get very determined. I emigrated.
Love to tell narcissist they're legends in their own minds....drives them nuts!😂
Good one!
Great phrase! Thanks
He he !
Oooooo that’s a good one
And they can't make a go of anything, unless they are getting a free ride on someone else's money, sweat, etc. Basically they are parasites...
Been there!!!
Calling out a narcissist in a lie becomes a formal event. You have to go step by step with delivering your evidence. They will NEVER admit fault BUT they WILL tell on themselves typically by shifting some element of their story when the evidence is indefensible. Then they will misdirect and snarl a bit “what do you want me to sayyyyy?????!!!!!!” Then they will often ghost you! WIN!!! ❤😊
I had a narcissist as a trainer at the gym. Oh my goodness! When I used some of the phrases you have listed he went ballistic!! I thought he was a narcissists. You confirmed it. Thank you. I have since left that gym and am at the YMCA.
Here are the predicators for narcissism: Selfishness + fear of abandonment = Jealousy
I think their funny
That's the ingredients to the secret sauce right there!
ABSOLUTELY!
@Esoterique I think the Cluster B personality disorder overlap. Narcissistic, Borderline, Sociopathic, Hysteronic - all shallow selfish bullies with no empathy
Yep all of those are my partner
You've never dealt with the level of scum I am being put through. It's demonic.
Unfortunately most of us have dealt with horrible levels of scum. I’m sorry you were hurt so badly. You never deserve that.
❤️❤️
My daught has 5 youngies n he puts her down calls her cu.t name ,tells her bad mother , he lies in bed till afternoons she comes home n goes back WHY ??
Did it involve spying, reputation smearing, conspiracies, gang stalking, death threats and unceasing harassment?
Wow! I’m doing most of these things naturally. “I don’t care?” And many others.
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Definitely nailed it. Everything that you said, you can see the look on their face like how dare you say that to me. Then it's like they get even more evil.
I brought a tee shirt that stated", 99 percent of the time I don't care. When I showed my mother and my brother the shirt both of them went completely silent for like three minutes. Both are Narcs but I didn't know about these words which rattled their cage. Now that I know I will wear the tee very soon..... yeeeeeah a point for me 🙏😂😂😂😂
My tshirt says.
Hi
I don’t care
Thanks
Hubby narc hates it
NARCS?
I have a shirt that says “Fucks I give… Nun” it has a gansta/ ghetto nun flipping 2 birds… my favorite shirt thus far!
So glad that you are not one too. I can't imagine the problems one must face in dealing daily with an immediate family of narcissists.
7:20am Sunday morning wake up.
New subscriber!
I WIN . I’ve lived with my husband 23 yrs and I could never figure out my downfalls, ineptitude, wrongful ways and the way he ALWAYS made me feel inadequate in every facet of life…this has been an eye opener!
I do meet with a therapist once a week. I’ve started to find myself again. Because if I believed everything he says & said about me I would be a speck of dust….the TOTAL CONTROL has been maddening for me.
Amen. 30 yrs married and I could never figure out what I was doing wrong in my marriage. After he divorced me and I was devastated, therapy showed me I was married to a narcissist. It was not me. Now his wife calls our daughter to complain about him. Her problem thank goodness he is no longer mine.
“No” is HUGE!!! Be prepared for all hell to break loose when you say “no”.
Absolutely. She couldn't take the word NO. It drove her insane. Her son was even worse. I don't miss that brat. Thank God I'm away from that insanity.
That part!😂
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference or "I don't care"
So happy to stumble upon this, narcissism is hard, especially when it's a family member. I can't divorce my sibling, but this is providing me tools to deal with their behavior.
I went 'no contact' with my brother after years of harassment and violence, and emigrated. That was 36 years ago. He is still furious that I refuse to be controlled by him. Our mother died recently, and due to covid rules could not be there for her dying or funeral. When her estate is resolved, I will never have ANYTHING to do with him, EVER. He is trash. Sadly, he is going to remarry soon - I pity his future wife. His first walked out after he beat her once too often.
I too have a Narcissistic father and brother. I never knew ther was a name for them until they had both wreaked serious havoc on my life which is probably all too common. I need to learn tools to deal with them...
@@elle5031 ... Same and x2 husbands and inlaws. ;)
I understand. My daughter is the Narcissist. And I think it’s all because of drugs. Had to make the hardest decision a mother could make and that was get an injunction for three years cannot call me cannot see me she thinks no rules apply to her she’s been well-informed you walk up to my door I will have you arrested. The worst thing and saddest thing about a narcissist is they never get better and that’s because they never see it as them through the problem it’s always somebody else that’s really sad
I have a brother and a son who are narcissists. Cut them both out of my life. My mother was a narcissist and I refuse to be abused anymore. Peace is lovely 🕊
I typed a huge response the other day then deleted it all and sent “K”. I WIN!💞Thank you for all you do re: awareness
GOOD GIRL.
Yes, another good one to annoy them is “o tru” lol
Very good. Now I've got to start doing the same.
@@dvawva5197 7
Be careful they take this as a challenge to make you more unhappy and more abused. I hope your away from them physically doing this.
Puts me down daily. Little dogs. I try hard to stay up beat. Like I said “ I’m tired!”
I won! I'm free of the narcissist that almost drove me to insanity! God bless you all and have a wonderful holiday season!
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Congratulations! It’s not easy for sure but so worth it.
Ironically, he didn't like the words "lie, passive aggressive, gaslight, self loathing" when he was draped in all of those
I have a lead hand that is a text book narcissist. I’ve been dealing with his tantrums and head games for years. The easiest way to deal with a narcissist at work is don’t deal with them, anything other than the job at hand there’s no conversation with him. No “good morning”, basic conversation or “good bye have a good night”. I’ve walked away while he is in mid conversation as soon as I realized it had nothing to do with work. Problem solved
Rebecca you just made my day! Jealousy also plays a big part with Narcissist's ☮️
Join our exclusive webinar on navigating narcissistic personalities. Reserve your spot now! www.slaythenarc.com ⏰
Dr Carter says this is a good reply.
"I must refuse."
I won.
I know I have won
Classy. 👑
Hi Rebecca, thank you so much.. you are a Godsend to me when I think I'm going crazy, lost and grief over the failure 😭😭😭 I ran away with my 2 daughters from my husband after 22 years of marriage a few days ago as I was uncontrollably overwhelmingly traumatized, 3rd time Depression, PSTD and psychiatrist diagnosed as under narcissistic abuse etc etc.. I blocked him as his text messages were driving me nuts and crying until my eyes were swollen, unable to sleep, screaming for God's help and guidance.. when I came across your videos today.. 😭😭😭 I'm sitting up.. formulating my strategies.. I'm ready to turn this around.. I'm ready to WIN for myself and for my 2 teenage daughters.. Thank you so much ❤
You go girl...a day at a time and you will get there... lots of us understand how you feel right now...do it for your kids, give them a better future.. l wish you all the love and luck in the world...xoxox
THATS RIGHT.
It’s all about You Now.
Enjoy The Peace.
May the Lord Jesus hear, and Answer" your prayers dear lady 🙏
God bless you honey. Been with one for 27 years now, the last 2 "twins" of our 5 son's just turned adults this year and I'm done. Ofcourse this has sent him in full force Narcissist mode, so bad that "he" don't even know if he's coming or going and my Lord yesss it's been so hard on me, as I'm really sick atm with Pneumonia. But God, But God ❤❤ Peace be still in Jesus name.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for this post. I’m trying to recover from a 10 year marriage to a woman that has been so controlling and getting worse each year . I refused divorce for many of those years. She would ask me several times over the years if I wanted a Devore . This year She told me that she wanted a divorce and this time I said yes she looked surprised because I always would say no
Now we are divorced and just starting to realize that I was not the one with the problem . I do have a hard time trusting people now and will have to keep praying for help
Talk to the elders at church
I get it! After that we feel like we could never ever trust or pick the right person. Mine can wear a mask for 10 years.
I’m going through that now. I agreed to Divorce now though.
10 years as well
You are the help.
“We are going to have to agree to disagree” almost always works. They despise it.
They also can’t stand it when you say; “well that’s one perspective I guess”’.
Also; “I can’t control what you think of me, and nor do I care”. Instant 💥.
Everything you say is true. ..... Took me 18 years to leave my narcissist husband ( Im 12 years living my life alone and loving it) .....
My DiL was labeled as borderline personality disorder . Nope full blown narcissist!
Saying "uh huh" repeatedly while being told by my husband's ex to her rid of my cats, and then ending it with "Ok then. Have a good day." was one of my favorite moments with a narcissist. She was furious but was still trying to put up a front with me at the time. 😂
As they say in the streets: "Y'een lyin'" (You aint lying).
Excellent insight and gems in the vid.
I have/had a narcissistic friend, whom after years of gaslighting, ( he , a so called Christian, married with kids , has sexually harassed me, when he’s been drinking, & blames me , for “making feel him that way “ . I’m straight male . ) he’s now 60+. As am I . I finally had enough of his crap & distanced my self from him, after several unanswered emails & phone calls, he called the cops on me ! He told them I was unstable, dangerous & probably going to hurt someone ! Then he turned up uninvited, calm as you like, let himself into my home , as I was at the supermarket, I found him drinking beer in my kitchen ! I asked him to leave, he left laughing. It was a lot creepy. I haven’t seen or heard of him since
Nearly married one and was emotionally abused. You are a right on! Thanks for reinforcing my decision to leave!
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
omg! "I don't care" is an instant blow up
I hope it's glorious.
Never use the word "You"... "Yours", "You are"...etc... it gives them attention. Never really turn the conversation back over to them... never show ANY emotion whatsoever in your reply....
You can deflect with something not about what they said..."I had a really good apple for lunch"... to their projection.
For Gaslighting where they want you to have doubts about your reality.... "Many people have tried to get me to doubt myself..." see? It is not about them...
I call this "Blank Wall"... we become a blank wall...we don't have to become DULL... or dull ourselves up... we can SHINE...
ALWAYS have a comeback... when at a loss for words, we tend to shutdown... so always have a comeback... even if it is..."Oh, look at the time....I have to.... so and so now..."....and you probably won't shutdown... I have shutdown into depression because I did not have a comeback.... even if it is..."whatever"... as long as it is BLAND...
If they give you the silent treatment... GO WATCH A MOVIE!!!! BE GLAD!!!!
If I try to say whatever as I look at my phone with no emotion in response to my narc and my body reacts in some way to the situation he says are you stressed and I say no why? He says because you are doing this and ehennyou do this you're stressed and I've known you for 11 years. You see I can't win.
True, when they give you the silent treatment and don't want to see you, it is bliss. Peace comes over the section of the house they are not in.
So true.
I learned over time not to engage with the conversation that doesn't go anywhere. They will not even apologize when they are in the wrong! Walk away, try to focus on yourself.
Ever wondered why narcissists move goalposts? Discover intriguing insights and effective strategies in our free webinar. 🧐 Learn more www.icanslay.com 🦋
#11. They most hate SILENCE when they’re ‘gaslighting’ you.
Just stay silent & wait ‘til they exhaust their rant. Respond only, when they ask you a ‘legitimate / genuine’ (not sarcastic) question about you.
“Invalidation is about dismissing your experiences, thoughts and above all your emotions. Indeed the intention is to not even allow you to have those thoughts, experiences and emotions. It’s a way of invading your head and reprogramming it. It’s psychological abuse (messing with your thoughts) and emotional abuse (messing with your feelings).” - Danu Morrigan
I am writing this one down! This is exactly how it is. Wow.
I'm dealing with exactly this right now with a narcissist. It's awful
@@country731 So sorry you're going through this
Ple@se have faith that the truth will be brought to light & you will be in a much better place in time
I hope you have support from friends family an understnding compssionte counsellor etc
In time, it's wonderful how things can change for the better
Just one step @ time if we keep chipping away
Wishing you all the best:- In pryers✨☘️🙏
You are so right. I lived it for many years & even tho many years have passed, I can still hear the things he said to me. He was a vile, nasty man!
@@marciastewart1527 So sorry you went through so very much
I'm so extremely delighted for you to be far away from this horrendous treat
ment now
Well done to you & praying God continues to bless you abundantly, with beautiful brilliant blessings forevermore 👍✨☘️🙏
*UPGRADED WORDS:*
*"I'm not going to have time for that." (This covers now & forever)*
*"It doesn't matter to me." (Although we understand the intent of saying "I don't care" they can twist that to accuse you of being uncaring.)*
I told my ex narcissist to listen to the Phil Collins song, "I don't care anymore" and to really listen to the words. Boy, did that really screw with his head. 😅
the 10 powerful phrases:
1. Praise for others
2. "That's not true."
3. "I will not ..."
4. "I cannot ... for you."
5. "You lost." or "I WIN"
6. "You're wrong."
7. "I don't care."
8. "I'm busy."
9. "Not now."
10. "No."
thank you for this tips🌹
Thanks
Thanks
Exactly 👍. I used this type of method. After they said insults to me via text. I said, It does nit bother me bc I know what you say is NOT TRUE, and now without you around, I am doing great & unbothered. That sent them off with tail between their legs.
Amen lol
Thank you for your advice to those of us who are trying to survive the damage of a narcissist.
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
I survived by getting out
I wasn't wasn't wasting my life trying to figure him out, he only loved himself.
He would literally gaslight me, even with proofs of his lie right in front of his face, and call me "thankless" for not appreciating the things that he has otherwise done for me 🙃
Girl,story of my life...mine would call me ungrateful yet he did nothing but drain me..He even said to me that some things don't last forever while he was trying to draw me back in..its like they believe the future faking and expect you to worship them for telling you lies...sickening fuckery
best answer: "Well, I don't give a shit."
@@gwendolynsnyder463 Love it!
@@tesskariuki2202 oh yes...I'm so ungrateful daily bc he took my son to school twice.....3 freakin years ago!!! lol
@@anid828 such toxic entitlement..they're like their father the devil