Exactly How The Being There Method Works
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ย. 2020
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What Is The Being There Method: A specific strategy employed if you find your ex has moved on that significantly raises your chances of success in getting them back.
How Does The Strategy Work? :
- While your ex is dating someone new you simply compete with that other person for their time in a meaningful way.
The Secure Attachment Factor:
Arguably the best attachment style, secure attachment involves a deep trust in having the fortitude to deal with the fear of loss.
What Usually Happens If This Works?
- The other person grows worried and starts pressuring and arguing with your ex (which lowers their value)
Questions To Answer:
The difference between BTM and MOWOMO ... Definitions and rules of engagement
How can you be there when he acts like he doesn't want you to be there?
- Getting yourself in the right mindset is key
- Sometimes the only thing you can do is wait and be patient
- Make sure it doesn't look like you're waiting around for them and that means doing something extremely hard, going on dates with other people.
How to deal with big pullbacks when you are well in to the process
- Often times big pullbacks happen before big breakthroughs but only if you handle the process right.
- Remember, the secure attachment factor
- You pull back when they pull back, wait a bit and re-engage
- But how you re-engage is just as important. - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
I’ve actually done this method many times over the years without knowing that it was a method. The problem that I have always encountered is that by the time they fall in love with me again, which they all did, I have usually met someone new.
I must ask. How long did it take for each of them to fall in love with you again after employing this method? How long were you doing this?
I’m 56, and proud to say, I’m learning from your videos, well done sir.
After listening to this, it seems like there’s a two-part dilemma happening: 1) this notion of being present and “I’m here for you“ for an ex would beg the question, is my ex someone who would have a “platonic” relationship with a former partner (you), presumably without telling the current partner? Was he or she doing this while you were in a relationship together? Troubling.
And 2) imagine the level of emotional regulation needed to interact with an ex when she or he is having sex with someone else? It’s already a huge mountain to climb trying to become “secure” yourself, while dealing with that in real time? Daunting.
Try living with your wife while she’s actively dating another man and bringing him into our house while I’m gone. She filed for divorce 4 months ago and she’s been with this guy for almost 2
@@setherrrrs___775I’m in a similar situation with my partner although she doesn’t bring him to our house. She stays at his house several nights a week though while I’m at home with our two year old daughter. I found out nearly three months ago although know they were sleeping together before I found out. I am getting better but I still want to murder this man every day but don’t for my daughter. I’m hoping it will burn out eventually although I don’t want her back now but why should they be happy? She hasn’t even told her parents who still think we are together!
It feels degrading to do this, so I guess I’ll just stay insecure lol
I am getting the same idea I had when I watched your discussion with your coaching partner Anna, and, now I know why. I keep thinking if one practiced the being there method before a breakup occurred, it probably wouldn't have happened! And, now, it came through clearly that one must come from a secure attachment style! You could coach breakup prevention! The other idea is that I can handle anything and I know I can. Eureka! Perhaps I have truly healed from my dysfunctional childhood!
My approach is simple.
I'm happy for her,
I'm happy she is still part of my life
And If she ever feels like getting back together I'll think about it
But meanwhile I'll look for someone I can love even more.
This is exactly what your mindset has to be to get your ex back 👆
man i hope i can do this as well without getting emotionally wrecked
How on earth are you supposed to do this if you're heartbroken?
You have to move on to do this, both of you, which is complicated, this is a step that requires move on, I'm currently on it, I'm really sorry if you're heartbroken, I hope you recover soon, remember that there are always other things you can focus on. Good luck!
Strength
This does work
I did it in 2021
Made me look very secure and sane
Good video. Interesting. Could work.
Great video.
I put this method into action and also distanced myself while my friend was in the midst of his disastrous rebound. He panicked and came back in tears within five and a half months. He wound up walking away and also creating distance from the rebound due to a physical confrontation between him and her ex- which became a safety issue for him. This was over a year and a half ago.
This does work of done right but it's probably the hardest thing to fake, you really have to change.
Found this video Sunday. Texted my ex fiancé that day that I had to change the password on a shared account. He immediately responded and thanked me. I then told him “also Bridgerton is back on”, one of our favorite shows. Before you know it we were watching it “together” while texting. That turned into 7 hours of texting followed by 4 hours on the phone. We are officially back together!! Watching this video I realized I was the perfect candidate. He had “moved on” with someone else. I had exercised 2 months of no contact. During that time the few times he reached out I was courteous but short. Didn’t try to drag conversations. Also I would drop a few inside jokes to help remind him of how good we had it. If I had not followed Chris’s and Coach Lees advice, I don’t know how long reconciliation would have taken! Stay strong everyone, what’s meant to be will be!!
Im confused on the last part when they pull back and you pull back then reengage. I haven’t read that yet on the article.
Would you still advise a 45 NC if it's 5 months after break up and new relationship is 2 months in? Or would you advise shorter?
I did this 2 years ago with a friend who had become more, was there for him without knowing it was a method.. he did go through a lot in those 2 yrs and came back (when I had finally moved on) for about 4 months.. then disappeared again a month ago with no explanation :/ I’m starting to wonder if the being there method is a way for them to almost keep you as an easy option. :( come and go as they please..
I noticed that a few of my exes are jumping into my conversations online to get my attention and to cause me and other person chatting to fight. Is that part of the being there method or something else? Need advice Chris
We have been broke up now for seven months he saw somebody new but they are now done he still consistently text me is it too late to do a no contact
How to do this method if we live together and we have 2 child?
I'll keep watching to get some ideas ☝️
@@RyanJessaDiaries i do not have problems lol. "To get some ideas" for my channel
@@MenMovement oh!
I guess this could work for the extra anxious ex, but seriously WTF? Morally gray for sure, have you no feelings for the new partner? But hey, I guess I'll know what to watch out for!
I just wonder if on my 1st conversation I should just ask afterwards: Hey, are we ok to talk eventually?
How are you doing
I got my ex back
Whxapp the helper of me
+ 4 4 7 4 1 8 3 2 9 7 8 5
@@karenkopitt2314 how did you manage to do that?
How can I do no contact, when I have 2 hours 3 times a week, that I literally have to be with him (visit with our daughter currently staying in a foster situation). So we don't have any choice we both have to ( and want ) to be there.
Make sure you limit contact. Only talk to him about your daughter when needed
Literally months ago I offered the idea of being friends with my ex & he was totally cool with the idea. Things were great at first but it turns out it was easy for him cuz his gf was out of state at the time. When she came back home he told me he couldn’t be friends with me cuz he was still sexually attracted to me & it wasn’t right to his gf. Saying he needed to be a better man. We nvr did anything sexual with each other & I kept it completely platonic but I guess he was really struggling? I’m not sure wat to do now. He’s recently unblocked me so I feel there’s a chance but not sure how to approach his without getting the same results as last time.
Same for me too, I offered to be friends with my ex too but he said he couldn’t stay in my life and still had resentment after he broke up with me 🥺 We weren’t physical either during our relationship
He only wanted a romantic relationship with you but took the friendship route you offered because at least you would still be around. But you being around means he has to see and hear about another man having the relationship with you, that he wants with you.
You both need to clarify what you want. If you want different things is better to go separate ways
Man I would do ANYTHING THAT U SAY TO DO.... but im blocked, and shes showing she is married to him... please help
Being blocked is kinda upsetting. I've been there. Stay strong
He randomly unblocked me after 5 months. Idk why he hasn’t contacted me. I’m leaving it alone. Just feels better mentally to know I’m not blocked anymore
I was totally expecting the "being there" method to be about being present in the moment so that you don't keep focusing your thoughts and energy on your ex.
Yikes. This is a no.
If your ex has moved on, let them move on, and you should too.
If you ended the relationship I think it can work if you want them back. I wouldn't bother if I was dumped by them.
Thank you for this. I keep on listening to your conversation with coach Anna yet i still cant get the clear thing on what to do.
Did no contact and we back in talking and catch up. But find out he is with another woman he doesn't know I know so do I mention that I know or just carry on like I don't know?
update?
How did it go? And who broke no contact? Dumper or dumpy
Does this approach differ from a male perspective?
Meh..!, Why not give it a shot.
He's a walking red flag anyway. could be a little bit of fun.
(In the meantime, I have a fair bit of money to spend on a new career)
If i tryed to sabotage in the first two days do i still have chance?
How are you doing
I got my ex back
Whxapp the helper of me
+ 4 4 7 4 1 8 3 2 9 7 8 5
What if he is a crush will this work?
You can get him. Trust me
@@RyanJessaDiaries he is seeing someone else and he only gives me work attention. He has told me he's very attracted , flirts with me but won't show much. He says he thinks it's more for sex but l haven't been with him sexually over a year. I don't know what to do. I say away but work keeps us connect. He will not have any personal conversation with him. I feel he holds himself back but then l could be wrong. Please guide me. I fighting with myself because as work related l was giving him a thank you gift but don't know if l should. Without his help on work, l wouldn't have no income but in return l made him so much money.
+2349020112341
He helped me get my ex back few days ago with no delays.
I actually got my ex back With the “being there” method in 2020 @ (gulp) 3 yrs but it works!
We were together a year but my ex has some issues with abandonment/ rejection and perceived that from me because she thought I wanted to move away (long story!) anyway ….. we split up in February 2022, I did my NC and just last week we had our 1st semi decent conversation. She’s not serious with anyone but dating - naturally I hate that- moving very slow & cautious how I tackle “being there” this time around 😬 she has a lot of work to do on her side but I still love her and we have a very long history.
That method doesn’t always work, even when diligently applied. If you want facts, if they dump you and left, move on and don’t expect them to ever come back.
It’s true and Chris says this numerous times in his material - you may do everything right and it still may not work. You have to be prepared to lose in order to win - the secret is to know you’ll be ok should you lose, and treat the win as a bonus. It can’t be faked.
Great channel but u should really speak on Men not being Simps. If ur ex moved on to another Man. Bruhhh, as bad as it hurts. Hang that shit up. Its 1 step bellow cheating. Dont be a BETA guys!
But as a so called "alpha", you wouldn't be sitting under a page that helps people get their ex's back 😂
@@nomsab9131 never once have I ever said I was a Alpha, but probably am judging by how people like to copy me. But a Beta, I am not. And truth be told Im fascinated with intersexual dynamics. I have self respect and dignity. However, even us top shelf Men do fall in love a few times in life.