Martian Manhunter: Batman still has cancer. Superman: Not to worry, J'onn. I've already working on a cure for cancer. Flash: Does the cure involve a dragon? Superman: No, why would it involve a dragon? Flash: Dragon my nuts! Batman: Shut up, Flash. That joke was more annoying than my last chemo treatment.
@@deadlypandaghost Nah Batman is right here - Supes probably can make him cure with Krypton's technology, and John Konstantin or Zatanna would just use magic to cure him... Not really a problem for superhero so important.
It's so wild that people forget Superman marrying a non-kryptonian Supergirl and having a daughter with her in the same issue (a plot point DC entirely dropped since that Supergirl series was cancelled for low sales and they decided to just bring Kara back).
Homelander actually goes around curing people of cancer with his laser eyes. He just doesn't quite understand that everyone isn't taking a nap afterwards.
Batman: I have so much Kryptonite and I do crazy stuff with it. Team: you're insane! Batman : I've made a TV show with it that make all of us rich. Team: You're a genius!
Batman: How did you beat cancer? Lex Luthor: Brainiac. He shot a nanotech payload into my back when he held me hostage and forced me to build a new body for him.
It always bothered me about the fact that Lex Luthor gets cancer and people realize long-term exposure of kryptonite causes cancer yet Batman never gets cancer. No one ever addresses that ever. Glad we're asking the hard-hitting questions on a 2 decade old series.
I don’t know but imagining Batman dressed up as superman in a large therapy group filled with people dressed up as superman all pretending to be affected by kryptonite is the funniest shit in this video.
Kryptonite can be manufactured, and kryptonite energy can be stored like a battery. Also, it doesn't take much of it to affect Superman. At times even gum or powder of Kryptonite is all that is needed to negatively affect the man of steel.
Nah it's honestly super inconsistent and how much it affects Superman heavily depends on whether the writer wants it to. Superman has nearly died from being near a shard in some stories but in some others he takes a kryptonite bullet deep into his chest and he's fine and dandy with only a little sickness.
According to Google, a googol is 1 followed by 100 zeroes and a googolplex is 10 raised to the power of googol, or 1 with a googol zeroes behind it. Also, according to Google, the number is so massive it surpasses the number of particles in the known universe. If we measure it in atoms, Batman claims to have a volume of Kryptonite larger than the entire mass of the known universe.
The idea of rebuilding Krypton and blowing it up again to go on a space tresure hunt for kryptonite is what broke me dude . That should've scared the shit out of Superman . Also love the fact that there are so many kryptonite addicts .
Batman snorts kryptonite which gives him superpowers at the expense of his own lifespan. However, Batman had a contingency plan to regularly purge the cancer.
I was actually thinking when it was revealed what kryptonite does to regular people in Justice league the animated series I was hoping what happened to Lex Luthor didn't happen to Batman
Batman and his kryptonite addiction group (which probably includes Luthor but still) can afford to restore krypton several times over but cant buy another house to store kryptonite
Flash "so you just carry a block of kryptonite around in your belt at all times. In case you, what? Suddenly need to kill superman." Batman "yes" Flash "is.... Is there something in one of those pockets to kill me?" Batman narrows eyes menacingly and walks away Flash to himself "oh there totally is. That spooky bastard."
Why do i feel is not right is Barry that tell him to shut up. But is right for wally. ( yes i know in comic is wally. But in Movie is Barry ) Is maybe because of wally is more of the jokester part.
I love how they all immediately jump on board with the 'Keeping up with the Kryptonites' idea.
I mean like when money talk even the deaf listens ig?
Oh wow we commented the same thing, cool :)
While also ignoring that they all had cancer.
@@cosmicdubs8155with that much money they could buy cancer
@@cosmicdubs8155 and lex won technically... Probably also has cancer, but at least he might die after Superman now.
at least this one is a happy ending
Martian Manhunter: Batman still has cancer.
Superman: Not to worry, J'onn. I've already working on a cure for cancer.
Flash: Does the cure involve a dragon?
Superman: No, why would it involve a dragon?
Flash: Dragon my nuts!
Batman: Shut up, Flash. That joke was more annoying than my last chemo treatment.
Other than the cancer.
And the Parasite still going on a genocidal rampage.@@deadlypandaghost
Except for the cancer.
@@deadlypandaghost Nah Batman is right here - Supes probably can make him cure with Krypton's technology, and John Konstantin or Zatanna would just use magic to cure him... Not really a problem for superhero so important.
Ah yes, Pink Kryptonite. I remember the story about that.
"Did I ever tell you how Smashing you look in bowties, Jimmy?"
We don't talk about the pink one
There's also an alternative version in Justice League Action where it just gender bends Superman.
@@LordDarthHarrywhich is still gay because Clark is straight so female form Clark is a lesbian.
That was crazy! 😂
They should adapt pink kryptonite to newer series.
It's so wild that people forget Superman marrying a non-kryptonian Supergirl and having a daughter with her in the same issue (a plot point DC entirely dropped since that Supergirl series was cancelled for low sales and they decided to just bring Kara back).
Gotta say, being able to rebuild and destroy a planet for only billions is a really damned efficient use of money.
The Magratheans are more interested in the treasure hunt, but they feel that requesting payment is still important.
that is the funniest comment I've seen in at least a year and I'm chronically online@@theapexsurvivor9538
Shut up flash.
I always wait for that line.
Real "shut up Mokuba" energy there. For any yugioh abridged fans.
Meg
Is not right when is Barry. But is right when is wally.
Shut up Beast!!
All fun and games until the round table start glowing pink
That is superman problem not the justice League.
@@aminaqif542the Superman finds the league very… trustworthy
We don't talk about the pink one
And Wonder Woman isn't around. Just saying.
It’s alright, Superman’s lost his powers here, it probably won’t work…
…UNLESS IT NEVER REALLY WORKED IN THE FIRST PLACE!
0:55 *No no he’s got a point*
The Flash: The Watchtower's ran outta soda?
Batman: Shut up, Flash!
Me: Off to a great start.
I like that Superman apparently had kyptonite at home and somehow never noticed
He typically doesn't notice if he's affected by non green kryptonite so that tracks.
No matter the continuity: all across the multiverse, three lone words echoes in perpetuity - "Shut up, Flash!"
Batman in a group of kryptonite addicts
Okay Luthor I’m guessing runs it
Its just a green rock how bad can it be
A GLOWING green rock.
"It's just the color yellow"
- Me, to Green Lantern
Famous last words
When the radioactive glow is in the visible spectrum, it’s bad.
@@hermitcard4494 so its a good night light nothing can go wrong
1:50 I love the subtle One Ring moment there, lol.
Every heroes and villains, even every side characters, has the right to tell Flash to shut up, when he's speaking nonsense.
I know, right? How could the Watchtower ever run out of soda?
When he's speaking*
“The Pink one”
*_We don’t talk about the pink one…_*
He got you there Clark
We went from Beast giving Xavier cancer to Batman giving the entire Justice League cancer.
I wonder what's gonna happen to The Seven💀💀💀
Probably gonna be pretty DEEP if you know what I mean
The Seven will be the most moral people on the channel.
Homelander actually goes around curing people of cancer with his laser eyes. He just doesn't quite understand that everyone isn't taking a nap afterwards.
@@GoldenBoyBlueHomelandrr saying OK Orphan Boomer
Here before this blows up…… like Krypton!!!
Again. It's apparently been rebuilt a lot.
Batman: “I store Kryptonite in your houses, too.” Edit note: thanks for me so many likes. I did not think I get this many from this comment.😀
probably not in Superman's house, since he would actually notice.
@@talgoren2246 Blue Kryptonite
@@Super-Saiyan-Blue-Gogetapink kryptonite, explains why he and Lois haven’t slept in a while
Is this AI voices by question?
superman be like: why do i always feel sick and weak at home
0:27-I know what a googleplex is,but NO WAY Batman has no much!
Yes, its quite literally impossible to get that much
@@MIIRBH unless he is using multiverse to store stuff
“Keeping up with the kryptonites” 😅💀
Now i want to see Kryptonite treasure hunt
"Aww, dangit! It's a blue one. Superman doesn't always care when you whip out the blue ones"
I'd unironically watch 'Keeping up with the Kryptonites', sounds thrilling.
Flash: cancer?
Batman: yes flash I sleep in a kryptonite bed every night😂
Batman: I have so much Kryptonite and I do crazy stuff with it.
Team: you're insane!
Batman : I've made a TV show with it that make all of us rich.
Team: You're a genius!
genius and insanity are not so different after all
Batman: How did you beat cancer?
Lex Luthor: Brainiac. He shot a nanotech payload into my back when he held me hostage and forced me to build a new body for him.
Batman: Hmm he was inside me too…not doing that again.
@@potsdam28 Lex Luthor: He gave me super strength as well.
Batman and Lex and the biggest contributors to the support group.
Batman "How much Krypto......nite?"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s fine he’s probably has a contingency for cancer and the pink kryptonite induced kind
We don’t talk about the pink one
I cant give over a group of grown men dressing up as superman and pretending to be affected by kryptonite I'm dying
How did Batman run out of room did he fill both the bat cave and Wayne manor and does this mean Alfred and the robins also have cancer.
I think this means warwhouses too
Tbf, bat cave and manor store all other stuff too (tools, memorabillia, Robins)
It always bothered me about the fact that Lex Luthor gets cancer and people realize long-term exposure of kryptonite causes cancer yet Batman never gets cancer. No one ever addresses that ever. Glad we're asking the hard-hitting questions on a 2 decade old series.
Tbf, Batman store the Kryptonite safely when not used, while Lex probably basked in its radiation every night
I don’t know but imagining Batman dressed up as superman in a large therapy group filled with people dressed up as superman all pretending to be affected by kryptonite is the funniest shit in this video.
Love the continuity of Batman having so much Kryptonite that he sleeps on a bed made of it.
0:47 “Your cancers contagious!?”
Best line ever
"Kyroptonite is a rare element from Krypton!"
"Rare my ### last week i stopped a mugger that had three crystals just in his pocket."
BATCANCER
Kryptonite can be manufactured, and kryptonite energy can be stored like a battery. Also, it doesn't take much of it to affect Superman. At times even gum or powder of Kryptonite is all that is needed to negatively affect the man of steel.
Nah it's honestly super inconsistent and how much it affects Superman heavily depends on whether the writer wants it to. Superman has nearly died from being near a shard in some stories but in some others he takes a kryptonite bullet deep into his chest and he's fine and dandy with only a little sickness.
You know the funniest thing about this is that its accurate that there's seems to be that much kryptonite on Earth
"Batman, did you give us all cancer?!"
A laugh track would've made that scene perfect imo lol
Lex and Batman should have a chat about how much they are addicted to kryptonite
They have it every day in the support group for kryptonite addicts
I love how supe is immediately distracted by the tv show
To be fair Kryptonite is a really cool glowing rock
Batman being generous with company shares is the only surprising part of this video
I tore my stitches from laughing, thanks a lot, man 😅
Batman: I needed more
Flash: you need help!
💀
Bro said a googolplex! Batman has become my favorite JL member.
Where does he even get room for that
@@AbsoluteJustice-iv4lb Googol Drive?
The Kryptoniter Gets
Kryptonited
This video is literally just the sentence “Well that escalated quickly.”
This reminds of a channel that did old bat man scenes and this is like, the modern one with the crappy mics and all of that and the music
Now he understands what Lex went through
Now I like to think Batman gets high, smoking kryptonite.
😂😂😂 kryptonite the worst kind of addiction
SHUT UP FLASH is back!
Man, Solid JJ Batman wasn't lying when he said that Kryptonite aren't rare and everyone has one lmao
batman out here looking out for his homies
Batman took never let them know your next step to a whole new level
This one is my new favorite.
"You get therapy?" Caught me off guard 💀💀💀
I always imagined Batman walking off and getting himself tested after the news of luthor's cancer get out
I imagine that Batman has an entire room in the Bat Cave solely dedicated for storing the majority of the world’s kryptonite quantity
Keeping up with the Kryptonites? More like keeping up with the Crypto maniacs 💀💀💀
Plot twist: Batman was shot by Zarbar’s cancer ray while he was sleeping
"I stored kryptonite in you houses, too" how tf is Superman not dead?
Because Clark Kent stays over at Lois' house most nights.
It sounds like Lex, actualy
maaaaaannnn... I was NOT ready for that level of laughter 😂 I'm in trouble at work now...
I love how everyone changes their minds as soon as they heard they're shareholders!
If Bats is obsessed with Kryptonite the i expect him to have all the other colors other than the usuale boring green.
Black
Red
Blue
White
Pink
Yellow
Everyone is immediately on board when he mentioned they're all rich
This is one of your best ones.
Why is Superman surprised that Batman has this much Kryptonite? Every two bit criminal in Metropolis has Kryptonite!
What if Batman is supplying the criminals of Metropolis with Kryptonite to keep Superman in check🤯
Why is nobody talking about how they're saying mass murder is not as serious as running out of soda
I’m gonna keep that “do you know what a googleplex is” in my back pocket from now on
If you think about it: if Batman didn't carry Kryptonite for contingency plans, he can definitely afford it when the need arises.
I love it. Can we get a sequel to this?
I love how things really went south and everyone losed their minds XD
Superman tryna rizz up Parasite with that pink kryptonite
"do you know what a googleplexe is ?"
well either he can travel between infinite dimensions, or he don't know neither
According to Google, a googol is 1 followed by 100 zeroes and a googolplex is 10 raised to the power of googol, or 1 with a googol zeroes behind it. Also, according to Google, the number is so massive it surpasses the number of particles in the known universe.
If we measure it in atoms, Batman claims to have a volume of Kryptonite larger than the entire mass of the known universe.
"Only to destroy it again and go on a Kryptonite treasure hunt"
Bro thinks he's Knuckles 😭
The idea of rebuilding Krypton and blowing it up again to go on a space tresure hunt for kryptonite is what broke me dude . That should've scared the shit out of Superman .
Also love the fact that there are so many kryptonite addicts .
Superman: "Parasite just stole my powers and is committing mass murder."
Everyone: ...
Martian Manhunter: "That sounds bad"
We dont talk about the pink one.
This oddly wholesome for batman XD
Batman snorts kryptonite which gives him superpowers at the expense of his own lifespan. However, Batman had a contingency plan to regularly purge the cancer.
Meanwhile, Parasite is using his newfound Kryptonian powers to casually slaughter millions. To quote Superman, "It's a genocide down there."
I was actually thinking when it was revealed what kryptonite does to regular people in Justice league the animated series I was hoping what happened to Lex Luthor didn't happen to Batman
Flash: Batman, how much kryptonite do you have?
batman: yes
Hahaha! Keeping up with the kryptonites killed me! 😂😂😂
Batman: It's a group for kryptonite addicts. We dress up as supper man and portend to be affected by kryptonite. That one made me crack a smile. 😆😆😆
Would imagine Superman would be a good kryptonite radar for the treasure hunts
Batman and his kryptonite addiction group (which probably includes Luthor but still) can afford to restore krypton several times over but cant buy another house to store kryptonite
Good to know Lex and Bruce are friends in this continuity
I have lego cancer
Imagine When Animation Version was like:
We all dress up as Superman...Batmans got issues lol.
Flash "so you just carry a block of kryptonite around in your belt at all times.
In case you, what?
Suddenly need to kill superman."
Batman "yes"
Flash "is.... Is there something in one of those pockets to kill me?"
Batman narrows eyes menacingly and walks away
Flash to himself "oh there totally is. That spooky bastard."
Why do i feel is not right is Barry that tell him to shut up.
But is right for wally. ( yes i know in comic is wally. But in Movie is Barry )
Is maybe because of wally is more of the jokester part.
I cant help but hear Yami Yugi's voice from Superman.
Bros prep time LIKE MAN HOW
Pink Kryptonite and Parasite being mentioned in a single sentence by Superman of all people really writes the joke itself