I quit many games in my life, Melee is one of the few I refuse to give up on, despite the fact I main a low tier (Mewtwo), and the community where I’m from is basically dead, I still just love the game for what it is rather than what people usually go for, I just play it for the heck of it. I have beaten veterans in my area, and I have been ranked, but the reason I play smash is simply cause I love the games, even the ones I like less like Brawl and Smash 4, it’s still fun to look back on and play, especially since Smash 4 is the reason I played the series to begin with. I’ll never win a tournament, but I don’t care about it, I love socializing with people who also love the game, and I love the thing that brings us together.
that's just how it be. i hate the games i play but they're still my favorites of all time, and even on the worst days where i'm just playing like ass, i always come back the next day and try my hardest again weird how that works sometimes
As someone who joined during the slippi era, i still dont know what i want out of the game as a competitor. But all i know is the community and history alone will keep me watching til the last game is played
I get u man. I definitely watch a lot more melee than I play nowadays. Back when I was younger and a little more naive, I had dreams of being the best melee player in the world. To win on the big stage, to hear the crowd cheer ur name, to be appreciated for what you love. However, the reality is that the more you learn, the more you realise that this romanticised narrative you’ve been telling urself is not as glamorous as it seems. What you don’t see are the thousands of hours of work, dedication, drive, struggle, hardship needed. The sacrifices that will inevitably have to be made in other areas of life. Work, relationships, friends, family, money, stability, education. And after all that. You might not make it. You hear of a new player’s meteoric rise to the top. You don’t hear about the others who tried just as hard and failed. What makes you think ur any different, that you will be the one to make it? The odds will never be in ur favour if you chose to compete for the no.1 spot. And thats ok. We all have our own stories, goals, aims, ambitions in life. Do whatever you find meaning in. At the end of the day if you enjoy what you do, youve made it. Whether thats winning tournaments, getting ranked, meeting new people, having fun with friends. One can even find victory in defeat, if they’re doing what they love.
I just recently started playing a lot like 5ish months ago, but I think I'm set on quitting. I just hope that I'm not looking at things the wrong way. I'll always consider myself a spectator though, because that's where melee means the most to me.
I mean, in hbox's defense he wasn't #1 for years so he really had to grind. When I saw the clip years back I kinda cringed, but now that I'm older I feel it.
Perhaps it's a more often felt feeling than you realize. Not the egoistic delusions of being some sole main protagonist of the universe (which in my interpretation is not what hbox is getting at there), but the looking back on each of our personal maturation, experiences, social relations, and history which have built up as we age, especially with regards to time and energy all of us focus on specific activities of interest potentially at the 'expense' of other fulfilling, but forever unknown, activities. It's nothing to constantly overthink and obsess over, but it's not annoying/cringeworthy to me for people to consider and appreciate that every once in a while, even if they express it in a melodramatic way.
I have way too many words about this, wrote like 9 tweets trying to express myself, but I’ll try to summarize. Even if there isn’t necessarily a void, its still something you can find yourself questioning. We’re trying to get “good” and we don’t even know what that is. That wasteland Kira describes is real, and it feels you just get trapped there. I find things like being able to brag the way football players do is really trivial, but the point about getting a job by coding instead is facts. My immediate feeling was man I should quit, but I think its temporary. Rather we should consider what Kira said and think about what we want in our lives in regards to Melee.
This video encapsulates pretty much my entire experience with Melee. I had fun with it growing up, I got back into it after the documentary came out, I did the whole "Melee is life" thing for a bit, and then I eventually quit. Melee was causing problems with my life in a way that was hard to break out of because it was a sunk cost at that point. I felt that I **needed** to prove that the time and energy I spent had meant something and was somehow worth it. Looking back on it, I had given up self improvement, working on my relationship, expanding my knowledge and experiences, going further in my career ... all in an attempt to be good at a child's party game. Recently I gave Slippi a try, and it just brought me right back to how unhappy the game makes me feel. It once again made me reconsider my love/hate relationship with this game; and I think ultimately I'd rather just enjoy watching others play it, and focus on the things I actually enjoy in life.
The tone of this video is perfect! I love how the pacing, writing, choice of clips, and backing music all blend together in a way that really matches the bittersweet love and hate for this classic game.
I've struggled for YEARS to accurately describe why im addicted to competitive games... and with your one youtube video, you gave me a moment of clarity. I use these games to recover from the side effects of dissatisfaction in other activities/projects. With my whole heart, thank you.
I 100% agree about what you said about Twitter and how much better smashboards was at finding tournaments and recorcorces on how to get better. I really miss that part of the smash community, it was great for new comers as a place to just visit and it was a place that we can call our own. I hope people start using smashboards again, especially with all the talented people we had in our community it made the boards such a well run place to learn and to go to.
Wow this is all so true. Recently, I got back into studying martial arts. One time when I was practicing my forms with some other students, I had the realization that the chances of any of us actually needing to use these techniques in a real fight was next to none. And yet, people have been coming to martial arts schools and learning from masters for centuries. Some of them might do it competitively, but for the most part we all do it for its own inherent enjoyment and health benefits. I wish that highly technical video games like melee could be like that. Just something that you come and do for its own sake and not to prove anything.
Isn't it a choice? I choose to play melee in this way. It is an outlet. Not some competitive ego outlet. It's like art. You can do it for the love or you can make some compromises for the sake of monetizing the work you do. Some get really lucky and have the balance be exactly like they want. Others, do not. Many are somewhere in between but it's also a struggle for those who believe they have a shot at something "bigger" to ever let go of that or fully commit to that. Either direction could be a curse in some way. Kinda depends on what kind of person you are or grow to be as well as how things actually work out for you, right? I think Melee is the same way.
I missed getting into the whole competitive scene as I didn't have many friends who wanted to play this and I live in the Yukon which doesn't have a huge gaming scene to begin with. With my personal life not being great, not the worse but it was really tough on my family and me. I grew up not having anything to do with my life, feeling aimless and without purpose. I found out that music helped me to not think about my shitty situation. Had I known about melee, as I do today, I think I would have spent everyday of my life playing it. Which I think I would have been amazing at as I would have had something to focus on. What I think I would have gone wrong with is what you said at the end, I would have used melee as a way to fill the void of my troubled past. I don't know if I would have found a wife who I love, step kids who I love or even be ok with myself. I don't think I had the proper support when I was younger to deal with life's troubles and would have just expected melee to make me feel like I'm good. So while I feel like I missed out on my calling, I also feel that it worked out in a good way.
@Quantum Passport Definitely. I've traveled a bit and went to Melee scenes in the places I go through and it is so different then what I have. I have made a friend from around here who also wants to get better and there are people playing smash now, but it's just my friend and me pushing the Melee competitive scene up here. We do play online and that helps a lot, I just wish there was more people here who love this game like we all do.
I also have mixed feelings about discovering the community so "late". I could have been having fun and doing this all those years I was just sitting inside bored and miserable. And yet I also recognize how this would have been toxic for me and how it could have blown up in my face. I guess it's about how we engage with it now and make the best of the hand we've been dealt.
As a player that's been trying to improve for the last 9 months with little to no results, I related to this video a lot. All of these issues have crossed my mind at least once and it was sad that every time I tried to justify my feelings they would get shut down. Thanks for making these issues come to light and hopefully everyone can see where you're coming from.
crazy how people are still picking up this game. It makes me happy but also I remember the disheartening feeling of not being able to hit tech skill or feel like something is impossible. It gets easier. Its like learning to ride a bike. I practiced so much tech skill when I first started playing. Ill probably never forget how to wavedash or SHFFL. Best advice: If you play fox, falco, or even falcon. Make sure to do your handstretches or you WILL get osteoarthiritis.
The 'pay to win' controller thing hit close to home for me. I've been using the same jp white controller since like 2013. Luckily I'm good friends with one of the top controller modders in the scene and they're hooking me up with an insane deal on a new controller really soon. I absolutely can't wait. It's gonna be like Christmas.
While I understand all the things you've laid out, I don't think they're about Melee. It's about competition. You can play Melee and never really run into these issues. That's basically what I do, I play Melee and interact with the game and community not because I want to compete necessarily (although I sometimes will), but just because Melee is sick. The game is different from the competition around it. You say some of these things are specific to Melee, but I disagree. Competition is truly the villain here.
100% agree. For new players, keep what this video said in mind, but understand that this won't necessarily be how you end up. Everyone has unique life experiences for everything, competitive melee as well. For every person that has this experience, there are plenty of melee players who are living their best lives for years going 0-2.
I agree, plus, Kira is acting like melee can only be played competitively and there is no fun to be had casually. The competitive side of melee is only 1 part of the big picture here.
@@Tulsy_Grape he is acting like that because that's pretty much why melee is still around, in general, this Game should be dead since 2006 with Brawl's announcement
There's very little reason to play Melee casually nowadays, tho. If you're not interested in the competitive side of it, you may as well just play one of the newer Smash games.
@@karue7581 That's not true. Playing Slippi for a few hours with some chill music can be and is super fun, and is still Melee by and large. Sure, you're maybe not spending a ton of time trying to nail ledgedashes and getting every punish, but what makes Melee different is still there. The movement, combo system, L cancels, netcode (slippi), fun matchups, and just generally faster gameplay still make it worth playing over newer titles. I also play ult (from time to time) and rarely do I find myself playing for more than a little bit before turning it off. Melee is different (for me), even if I'm not entering tournaments.
What a sobering yet moving video, Kira. It came at a really important part in my life and helped me reflect on the disillusionment I've been experiencing for the past years regarding the game. Trying to keep in shape and up to par with the skill level of the top players (even in one's own region) is exhausting and getting bopped doesn't feel fun. It's hard to come to terms that something most people went head in to fill a void in their lives is probably something that they will have to give up in order to commit to a career, a project or simply something that demands what melee demands, time and effort. Thanks for the vid :' ]
Is there some strange overlap between brood war and melee fans? I've heard tasteless mention melee a number of times and they're literally the only esports scenes I've ever cared about.
@@abstractdaddy1384 I don't know really, I just liked StarCraft alot and recently got back into Melee, but seeing as both are very technical games I can see the potential fanbase overlap
Tbh this feels like a rant about you not wanting to play figthing games anymore, and it's really valid and well argumented even if it is your opinion. I just didn't like the "you have to play lame to win" and like, you PLAY to win in tournaments, the hole point of figthing games neutral is two guys who don't want to aproach and want to hit the other guy. Despite that I fully get your points and tbh I'm really excited to play your game. By far most interesting video yet.
Dang. While I can't say I fully agree on everything in this video, it undeniably does contain a lot of hard to accept truths. Melee, like everything else, isn't perfect, and it's always important to evaluate the bad as well as the good in order to make the best decisions for ourselves. Also 11:45 reminded me a lot of the Melee Stats video on Michael vs Bananas, it even had the same song as the intro
18:12 lmao Really cool video and deep video btw.I understand why some people feel bored bc are too good to play with they friends but no to go competitively.But in my experience i have fun steamrolling people and being steamrolled by other people.
This helped me realize why I want to start ssbm and what my goals are, winning or loosing doesn't matter, it's the skill, the determination, and the enjoyment of the fight and mental chess that is encouraged that should be the catalyst of enjoyment and growth. It doesn't matter if your the best and win every match, or the opposite, enjoying the journey *to* the conclusion of the match is what matters.
This is a profoundly well put together and important look at some hard realities of this game, and I appreciate your candor in presenting them. Excellent video as always, thanks for your perspective Kira!
Whenever I ask myself "why am I doing this?" The answer is either "I love this community, even tho it's pretty fucked.", "mango", or most often, "melee's sick."
Melee is sick. Melee is a sickness. Melee is a sick sickness that I never truly want to be sick of. Just remember to take breaks when you play, don't over exert yourself either physically or mentally, and despite the fact that the top levels of competition strip away the stylish parts because playing optimally is a thing that must happen or you will lose... Don't forget that this is still just a game and that the original intent was for you to have fun playing a game full of cool Nintendo characters that you like.
Hey I'm Kevin Kelbach. Thanks for using my song c: I was getting relaxed/zoned out near the end and heard a little something familiar. You nailed the checklist. I had to turn my back on the game a few years ago. It was becoming a dead end. Now its much easier to play cause my ego is detached from it. I've been forced through life experience to work on my mindset and now it's all good. Good luck out there. Also your game looks cool.
as a new player who went 4-2 at their first major and is just struggling on going further since like a month ago when that happened, this video actually spoke to me immensely realized why I turn to competition is just dissatisfaction with myself and wanting something to give me fulfillment and a sense of improvement ironically it ends up doing the opposite but im hoping I can get to a point where it’s improved and I can enjoy the journey for my more important passions as well as melee
This video is an introspection that I think most people who've thrown their whole life at a video game can attest to, but even just through the lens of melee you brought up a lot of interesting thoughts. Good video.
I feel like the solution to a lot of these problems is not playing melee for any external reason, but because you enjoy playing the game. Legacy, ego, and rank doesn’t matter if your playing and improving at a game you enjoy. The idea that time well spent has to be time spent improving your accolades in life whether that be money, prestige, or anything else can be a pretty big trap that ends up leaving you with a joyless life. Sometimes you just do something because you enjoy it and for no other reason.
Even if the skill gap keeps widening, even if new players come along and dethrone the old, or if those old players become even more exponentially stronger, I won’t give up.
It really sounds more about Melee competition than Melee itself, hell it feels about competition in general, competition can change how a game is viewed and played drastically.
Thanks for making this video. As someone who is mostly detached from the community these days and just plays slippi to try and have "fun" this is a great reality check
This definitely makes me think a lot about the competitive scene. I haven’t gone to a tournament but I’ve been practicing the game for a long time by myself and with friends. However I developed pain in my left hand/arm. To me it doesn’t seem worth it to go all in and play it super competitively whenever you have a risk of hurting yourself like that long-term. But that’s just me. I don’t play it too seriously but it seems like the time and effort you put in it would be a lot whenever I can just focus on work and family stuff and living a simpler life.
That point at 10:42 is one of the only things I like about Ultimate competitively, it's not about doing hard stuff, it's about the mental battle and how well you can play neutral and outwit your opponent
you melee players give yourselves such a hard time, whether wanting to quit or not, the fact that you play melee is a testament to your ability, theres alot of us who can only spectate the wild and insane shit that you guys perform.
Just realizing that every single game I play is becoming a really obnoxious time where O either have to try to catch a dash dancing fox or fight my way through falco lasers
The point about the cursed game problem is a big deal. I don’t have the time to teach someone to play because it’s just going to be years before they’re even passable. Maybe months if they grind like crazy. So instead I just play other games with my friends and melee is just my own little world
This hit me really hard, I has been playing melee for like 10 years and other competitive games, I have made some upsets and won some local tournaments, but I'm still feeling I'm hardstuck in my level
There was a part of me(when i started to play smash competitively) that wanted to go back to just being a casual and play with friends for fun. Now its like im in an awkward spot when I win too much with my casual friends for us all to have fun(not all the time but it happens) but lose too much when i want to play people that are also playing competitively(again, not all the time but it happens). So if i quit ill be like whats the point in quitting, but if i keep going ill be like whats the point in continuing? In all honestly its not too too bad, but i can feel this way every now and then. Idk about everyone else but i think the reason i play is just to prove myself that i can be good if i really try. Thats my drive at least.
I really like the part around 14:00 when talking about how alot of the times sometimes melee can feel like another shift at work, especially when playing people better than you, and figuring them out. However, I find that once those games are over I feel like I've improved so much and I feel even more eager to take it to the next level! Either way very well put video and great talking points. I fully agree with most of what was said!
Tremendous video. You made me feel old Kira. I've been playing this game since release when I was 8 until 14 years old. When we stopped playing this game I knew there was more to be played but we were so bad the game became stale. Now in 2015 I picked it up again trying all the new skills check all the combo videos and playing on Slippi on the regular. I tried to be good but once I realised it was too hard, I commited to playing Link. My brother and I have very cool fights on Melee he is a Falco main but lately it has been Slippi only.
Leffen is actually a horrible human being, the way he tried to make himself look like a saint and hero of the community by slandering ZeRo was disgusting
I quite literally have stayed off of Twitter and even stopped playing Melee as much solely based off of Twitter. I love the game but God damn am I tired of the community/constant drama.
Thanks, this video is really important now that a lot of younger people are getting into Melee, most of the time they have an idealistic view of what the experience is and most vids don't help showing that reality, people obviously want to community to grow bigger and so there's this "Melee dream" thing shared everywhere that doesn't reflect the reality of the experience. Excellent video that needs to be shared as much as possible !
I think the second point is a bit exaggerated. A decent gamecube controller will suffice for 95% of players. All the mods you mentioned (save for maybe the capacitor fix for dash-back issues and even then most controllers are fixed with UCF) are unnecessary for 95% of players. UCF fixes a lot of those problems.
You talk about trying to fill the void, either with improvement, competition, or wins. But I can't help but wonder a few related things: What if you can never fill that void? What happens if you don't try to fill it? What if the void only exists *because* you're trying to fill it? Just some thoughts...
You can fill it, in fact there is only one thing that can fill it properly. People cannot help but try because otherwise life is so pointless and meaningless that they cannot go on living. This channel isn’t the best place to talk about that but DM me on Twitter and we can talk
Would love to know your take on this Spinda! I think some of the problems Kira brings up like how society views Melee can be trivial if we’re really passionate. But he got me thinking about what I’m trying to do, and what “good” means. That noob to pro wasteland feels so real.
how can you disagree with a statement like "this game is really dissatisfying for new players and they could probably put all that work into something more productive"? That's facts lol
Kira.... You're talking like... i don't know, some kind of prophets.. Don't know what to say, or think about what i just watched.. but it hit me right in the heart
As someone who has literally destroyed their hands for this game, my suggestion to new people is take care of your hands, you only have two and surgery is painful. So unless you're a prodigy, don't destroy your hands for a game.
I've thought about this stuff and had it in the back of my mind as of late. Thinking about how maybe I could have chosen a different path that would lead me to more "useful" things in life. But everytime I try to get into a new hobby, I always think to myself, "I could be practicing melee right now".
This was deep, and I want to maybe talk about myself, ignore it if you want but I wanted to throw this into the ether, it may be long. I am in the worst mental state of my life. I started playing smash when this period started and it helped, it began with just “This is a fun to play with friends”, and progressed into where it is now, “I want to take my opponent’s stocks and I will do anything in my power to do that”. For my whole life, from so many influences including myself, I have always been a perfectionist, I’ve been working through that and trying to get to a healthier way of taking the good things from that, but I always loved learning and seeing things from many angles and perspectives until I feel like that thing is my native language. I’ve never been competitive, I don’t like sports and I’ve never liked competitions or gambling with friends. When most of the people I meet who play competitively say they love the competitive drive or they’ve always been competitive, I always wonder why I commit so hard to the game. As a child, I backed out of competitions, sports days at schools, clubs, avoided competitive activities with my siblings, but now I want to be the best player I can be, and somehow my brain believes that player has a lot of potential. It’s natural for losses to suck, and I had a pivotal moment where somebody bodied me for hours and hours. I felt awful, and suddenly I remember lying in bed and saying, “they didn’t beat me in those matches, they beat me because I’m in bed depressed about it”. My mindset changed a lot after that, if I learn how they beat me, and understand there were things that mentally and physically I could do to beat them (if I had those tools during those matches), I would’ve won, so they didn’t win, they just beat the version of me who played earlier. The only time they’re winning is when win I feel worse after and that takes away my drive because I believe that drive can make me beat that person. I can never understand whether or not it’s healthy, it isn’t I don’t think, because what happens if I reach my limit, and this confidence is false? What if it isn’t that I simply need to learn, and is that I can’t? When I said I’m in my worse mental state, I mean that I’ve had suicidal thoughts my whole life (lots of personal details I won’t explain), but now I’m close to sealing the deal if you get my drift. The only thing that stops me is my partner in life and smash. I went through a period where I told myself that was pathetic (a video game is one of the two things keeping me alive?) but now I just need the other player to feel how much, in that moment we play, I want their stocks gone. I hate to say it, but I will sacrifice so much to show it in my gameplay, mental health, physical health, money, time, (up until these things impact my gameplay, in which case I will improve those things but only if it impacts my ability to improve) because I don’t value those things because I want to die. If I don’t have a life I want to live, and smash is the reason I continue to live in a life I don’t want to, then I’m doing that life a disservice by not being the best I can be. It’s either wasted time alive, or time spent dissecting the other player and demolishing them, maybe not the next time we play, or the time after that, but eventually. I think you’re right, people who feel this way and fall into the trap of filling the void shouldn’t do it. I’m doing that and I’m only just starting, and I feel better than I have before I started despite the bad implications that has. Short or long term I don’t think this is healthy, but if I don’t do it I’ll be dead, it’s scary to know that. So yeah, I’m a bit fucked up, sorry for the deepness, I’m sorry if this comes across as fake or edgy, I’m not a liar and I truly feel this way. I just wanted to share.
Hey, I read the whole thing, I know you're not lying. There's not a lot I can say about your mental state, if Smash is helping you then there is no way I can tell you not to play it (I do love the game after all, it has had so many more positives than negatives on my life that I couldn't imagine my life without it). I think you have a good mindset of focusing on the details of how you can play better or trying to find tools to beat them, that has probably helped your improvement a ton so far. It is easy to fall into that trap because there is really only one thing that can fill it properly. This isn't a discussion for this channel but if you DM me on twitter or email me or something I would love to talk more about it. Thanks for sharing.
@@SSBMTutorials It's definitely a balancing act of whether it's healthy because it's helping me actually get up, probably unhealthy that I'm willing to take so much time to commit to it. Thanks for the kind words though
@@SSBMTutorials Hey, I thought I’d leave an update since I know I never reached out. For a bit of time I realised life was stressing me out and my negative thinking was forcing me into unhealthy mental patterns, I took some time to reduce how much I stressed about life and I’ve been cooking, playing less smash, having fun with friends, even had a brief stoner period lol (basically just spent time feeling good and having positivity be the focus). Now, I’m having more success in smash, and having more fun with it too. I’m grinding again but this time I’ve been reading sports psychology books (the inner game of tennis is a meme but genuinely fantastic and not taking the game personally and having a more healthy attitude to improving). While my focus and goal of my work is to keep improving to hopefully play on a high level, I think taking care of the mentality aspect is going to make that faster and more efficient. I appreciate your kindness from the previous comment you made and the vid.
@@SSBMTutorials I’m updating again. My god, the affect working on your mental health and mentality is so much more powerful than any level of grinding. I stopped playing for like 2 months, came back and now I swear I have unlocked some inner-gamer I didn’t have before. My reaction time is increasing, my knowledge neutral has expanded, my nerves towards tournaments is managed so much better and my daily life isn’t depressed and destructive anymore. I don’t think it’ll be long before I compete cause it’s getting boring playing normally. Thanks for the support, and the awesome videos, good luck xx
I guess you can call it Ego because I want my art to be seen, but I play this game to express my thoughts and ideas in-game. Soul reads and all of that, I want to play my best even if I lose
If you have hand problems, get a magic wand and massage your hands every day + exercises for your hand. Since I use a magic wand 90% of my pain is gone.
I've come into this game from DBFZ (after 3 years) due to lack of roll back netcode and local scene. I threw down on a decent controller being that I play ultimate with Friends and use Dolphin Emulator for specific games. This video does really make me think about wether it's legitimately possible for me to become a decent player like I did in DBFZ. Lack of online ranked, deep and vast difficult game knowledge, hand issues, required skill and implementation. Including I want to kick box, go on vacation, be with my girlfriend, do IT work, cook. With DBFZ it's such a simple game structure wise that even if I haven't played the game for two weeks, 30 minutes if practice and I can go wipe the floor with someone who is 3 or 4 ranks above SSRose. Unsure if I want to put such a large amount of time into the game. As much as I am fascinated, love watching, and enjoy practicing it.
I don’t think I agree with you on the melee is expensive part. The whole ‘controller Wii and crt combo won’t cost you more than a hundred and fifty bucks maybe, and you can go even cheaper if you already have even a low tier pc with the new optimization mods. I agree that having an optimal controller would be super important at top level, but at that point you’d be so invested in the game that it doesn’t matter how much it’d cost. As well, it’s one of the cheapest games to keep up in. A lot of other top games for esports do require those high end pcs and have big up front costs. Just compare melee to ultimate. Not only do you need to pay at least 50$ for the game, your switch is floating around 300, the tv is going to be more expensive cause it’s HD, and you owe Nintendo 30$ a month plus paying for DLC every time it comes out. Add that to the extra controller adapter you might need and the GameCube controller itself. It’s clear that melee isn’t ‘free’ but it’s definitely not expensive.
jesus fucking christ the last section got me tearing up. not a melee player but as someone who's gotten to high levels in competition, theres nothing worse than success becoming the expected result
Man, #4 just kinda hit me a little too hard... I haven't played the game for the last two years and was surprised that this video got recommended to me at all. I think aside from the risks of permanent hand damage, I think I know why I'm just not driven to play anymore. I was never able to go far enough in tournaments, even after 4 years of serious playing and practice. I did improve over time, sure, but just seeing that gap as a mid-level player, not even ranked in my region or even subregion, between me and the top players just had me wondering how much longer I would be playing the game to get to their level. The results were slowly paying off, but the grind was just too much. Ignoring the fact that the pandemic also killed a lot of my motivation to keep playing, I realized I had earned nothing physically significant in those 4 years. I only earned $10 from winning two small local tournaments, at my best gotten close to surviving wave one pools at a supermajor, and had consistently gotten extremely close to making upsets on ranked players. That was it. This game has one of the, if not, the most brutal treks across the skill gap in any game ever, and I was unable to pass it, even though at some point of my life, this game became everything to me, and I have nothing to show for it. But I fucking love this game, and I still do. It's just extremely brutal to think about how I'll likely never be the best like I envisioned to be several years ago. I think I still won something mentally from my years of playing, and that was character. I wouldn't want to take that time playing this game, meeting people, having some of the best moments of my life up, even if I was just a mid level player who never made it, back to do something else. Even if I made the choice to quit the game, in a way, I earned something I would have never earned had I never decided to pick up the game and go to my first tournament. Idk this video made me far more emotional for the game than I have been in a while. Thank you so much for creating such excellent and high quality content for such a long time. You've been one of my biggest inspirations as far back as when I started watching your videos to learn simply the basics like wavedashing and L-cancelling.
I guess I'm the odd one out here but i mostly play & improve at melee for the social aspect and because it's a genuinely fun game. I have a few friends i like playing with and it's fun when they beat me, it's also fun when i beat them, we laugh, we cheer, and each of us improving makes each time more fun and more challenging. I think your qualms with the game are more related to the mentality of wanting to be the best than to melee itself. I really have no aspiration of ever joining a tournament seriously or even being remotely good at the game, I've been playing falco for a bit now and i can't even multishine, i really don't care, i still beat my friends lol
I played a former training partner from school after years of not playing and he thought I was playing lame, but there is that realization that your have to adopt more optimal play that can be “lame” to win. It’s tough.
I feel like this is an ode to trying to be competitive in not just melee, but most sports and competitive outlets. It's hard, it's stressful, but you can meet great people and get great things out of it
I love smash but it makes me hella mad sometimes but that’s honestly been great for me cause I’ve gotten a good mindset for many other things in my life. Great vid btw
Me when I lose one match
lmao
i feel like he is kinda malding
lose? me when I queue against five falcos in a row
So true haha
Me when I play Melee (I never win)
Everyone that has played melee has wanted to quit at one point
from just a random thought to an actual crisis, we all can relate to that feeling
Like every game ever.
I quit many games in my life, Melee is one of the few I refuse to give up on, despite the fact I main a low tier (Mewtwo), and the community where I’m from is basically dead, I still just love the game for what it is rather than what people usually go for, I just play it for the heck of it. I have beaten veterans in my area, and I have been ranked, but the reason I play smash is simply cause I love the games, even the ones I like less like Brawl and Smash 4, it’s still fun to look back on and play, especially since Smash 4 is the reason I played the series to begin with. I’ll never win a tournament, but I don’t care about it, I love socializing with people who also love the game, and I love the thing that brings us together.
Few things make me feel as good/bad as Melee does.
I hate this game too. But it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
Avi, damn bro
that's just how it be. i hate the games i play but they're still my favorites of all time, and even on the worst days where i'm just playing like ass, i always come back the next day and try my hardest again
weird how that works sometimes
As someone who joined during the slippi era, i still dont know what i want out of the game as a competitor. But all i know is the community and history alone will keep me watching til the last game is played
welcome friend to the game that keeps on giving
welcome aboard the rollercoaster of emotions
I get u man. I definitely watch a lot more melee than I play nowadays. Back when I was younger and a little more naive, I had dreams of being the best melee player in the world. To win on the big stage, to hear the crowd cheer ur name, to be appreciated for what you love.
However, the reality is that the more you learn, the more you realise that this romanticised narrative you’ve been telling urself is not as glamorous as it seems. What you don’t see are the thousands of hours of work, dedication, drive, struggle, hardship needed. The sacrifices that will inevitably have to be made in other areas of life. Work, relationships, friends, family, money, stability, education.
And after all that. You might not make it.
You hear of a new player’s meteoric rise to the top. You don’t hear about the others who tried just as hard and failed. What makes you think ur any different, that you will be the one to make it? The odds will never be in ur favour if you chose to compete for the no.1 spot.
And thats ok.
We all have our own stories, goals, aims, ambitions in life. Do whatever you find meaning in. At the end of the day if you enjoy what you do, youve made it. Whether thats winning tournaments, getting ranked, meeting new people, having fun with friends. One can even find victory in defeat, if they’re doing what they love.
I just recently started playing a lot like 5ish months ago, but I think I'm set on quitting. I just hope that I'm not looking at things the wrong way. I'll always consider myself a spectator though, because that's where melee means the most to me.
I guess the quote "theres so much more melee to be played" still holds true for now
22:30 "naaw...but i've heard of that"
most relatable thing in the vid lmao why am i always surrounded by gamers with anime protag syndrome
I mean, in hbox's defense he wasn't #1 for years so he really had to grind. When I saw the clip years back I kinda cringed, but now that I'm older I feel it.
yeah that clip is classic hbox and its still cringeworthy
@@Firenmage433 not judging him for this clip specifically but go to locals and you'll find every #7 small town PR Fox main also talks like this
Perhaps it's a more often felt feeling than you realize.
Not the egoistic delusions of being some sole main protagonist of the universe (which in my interpretation is not what hbox is getting at there), but the looking back on each of our personal maturation, experiences, social relations, and history which have built up as we age, especially with regards to time and energy all of us focus on specific activities of interest potentially at the 'expense' of other fulfilling, but forever unknown, activities.
It's nothing to constantly overthink and obsess over, but it's not annoying/cringeworthy to me for people to consider and appreciate that every once in a while, even if they express it in a melodramatic way.
@@PKWinning07 wow. They always wanted #7 on the local pr? Weird....
I have way too many words about this, wrote like 9 tweets trying to express myself, but I’ll try to summarize.
Even if there isn’t necessarily a void, its still something you can find yourself questioning. We’re trying to get “good” and we don’t even know what that is.
That wasteland Kira describes is real, and it feels you just get trapped there.
I find things like being able to brag the way football players do is really trivial, but the point about getting a job by coding instead is facts.
My immediate feeling was man I should quit, but I think its temporary. Rather we should consider what Kira said and think about what we want in our lives in regards to Melee.
love u firepuff
This video encapsulates pretty much my entire experience with Melee.
I had fun with it growing up, I got back into it after the documentary came out, I did the whole "Melee is life" thing for a bit, and then I eventually quit. Melee was causing problems with my life in a way that was hard to break out of because it was a sunk cost at that point. I felt that I **needed** to prove that the time and energy I spent had meant something and was somehow worth it. Looking back on it, I had given up self improvement, working on my relationship, expanding my knowledge and experiences, going further in my career ... all in an attempt to be good at a child's party game.
Recently I gave Slippi a try, and it just brought me right back to how unhappy the game makes me feel. It once again made me reconsider my love/hate relationship with this game; and I think ultimately I'd rather just enjoy watching others play it, and focus on the things I actually enjoy in life.
"Man to good to play with his friends, but to bad to going pro, jeeez that was crude"
The tone of this video is perfect! I love how the pacing, writing, choice of clips, and backing music all blend together in a way that really matches the bittersweet love and hate for this classic game.
I've struggled for YEARS to accurately describe why im addicted to competitive games... and with your one youtube video, you gave me a moment of clarity. I use these games to recover from the side effects of dissatisfaction in other activities/projects.
With my whole heart, thank you.
I 100% agree about what you said about Twitter and how much better smashboards was at finding tournaments and recorcorces on how to get better. I really miss that part of the smash community, it was great for new comers as a place to just visit and it was a place that we can call our own. I hope people start using smashboards again, especially with all the talented people we had in our community it made the boards such a well run place to learn and to go to.
Wow this is all so true. Recently, I got back into studying martial arts. One time when I was practicing my forms with some other students, I had the realization that the chances of any of us actually needing to use these techniques in a real fight was next to none. And yet, people have been coming to martial arts schools and learning from masters for centuries. Some of them might do it competitively, but for the most part we all do it for its own inherent enjoyment and health benefits. I wish that highly technical video games like melee could be like that. Just something that you come and do for its own sake and not to prove anything.
Isn't it a choice? I choose to play melee in this way. It is an outlet. Not some competitive ego outlet. It's like art. You can do it for the love or you can make some compromises for the sake of monetizing the work you do. Some get really lucky and have the balance be exactly like they want. Others, do not. Many are somewhere in between but it's also a struggle for those who believe they have a shot at something "bigger" to ever let go of that or fully commit to that. Either direction could be a curse in some way. Kinda depends on what kind of person you are or grow to be as well as how things actually work out for you, right? I think Melee is the same way.
I missed getting into the whole competitive scene as I didn't have many friends who wanted to play this and I live in the Yukon which doesn't have a huge gaming scene to begin with. With my personal life not being great, not the worse but it was really tough on my family and me. I grew up not having anything to do with my life, feeling aimless and without purpose. I found out that music helped me to not think about my shitty situation.
Had I known about melee, as I do today, I think I would have spent everyday of my life playing it. Which I think I would have been amazing at as I would have had something to focus on. What I think I would have gone wrong with is what you said at the end, I would have used melee as a way to fill the void of my troubled past. I don't know if I would have found a wife who I love, step kids who I love or even be ok with myself. I don't think I had the proper support when I was younger to deal with life's troubles and would have just expected melee to make me feel like I'm good. So while I feel like I missed out on my calling, I also feel that it worked out in a good way.
@Quantum Passport Definitely. I've traveled a bit and went to Melee scenes in the places I go through and it is so different then what I have. I have made a friend from around here who also wants to get better and there are people playing smash now, but it's just my friend and me pushing the Melee competitive scene up here.
We do play online and that helps a lot, I just wish there was more people here who love this game like we all do.
I also have mixed feelings about discovering the community so "late". I could have been having fun and doing this all those years I was just sitting inside bored and miserable. And yet I also recognize how this would have been toxic for me and how it could have blown up in my face. I guess it's about how we engage with it now and make the best of the hand we've been dealt.
As a player that's been trying to improve for the last 9 months with little to no results, I related to this video a lot. All of these issues have crossed my mind at least once and it was sad that every time I tried to justify my feelings they would get shut down. Thanks for making these issues come to light and hopefully everyone can see where you're coming from.
^^^^
crazy how people are still picking up this game. It makes me happy but also I remember the disheartening feeling of not being able to hit tech skill or feel like something is impossible. It gets easier. Its like learning to ride a bike. I practiced so much tech skill when I first started playing. Ill probably never forget how to wavedash or SHFFL.
Best advice: If you play fox, falco, or even falcon. Make sure to do your handstretches or you WILL get osteoarthiritis.
The 'pay to win' controller thing hit close to home for me. I've been using the same jp white controller since like 2013. Luckily I'm good friends with one of the top controller modders in the scene and they're hooking me up with an insane deal on a new controller really soon. I absolutely can't wait. It's gonna be like Christmas.
While I understand all the things you've laid out, I don't think they're about Melee. It's about competition. You can play Melee and never really run into these issues. That's basically what I do, I play Melee and interact with the game and community not because I want to compete necessarily (although I sometimes will), but just because Melee is sick. The game is different from the competition around it. You say some of these things are specific to Melee, but I disagree. Competition is truly the villain here.
100% agree. For new players, keep what this video said in mind, but understand that this won't necessarily be how you end up. Everyone has unique life experiences for everything, competitive melee as well. For every person that has this experience, there are plenty of melee players who are living their best lives for years going 0-2.
I agree, plus, Kira is acting like melee can only be played competitively and there is no fun to be had casually. The competitive side of melee is only 1 part of the big picture here.
@@Tulsy_Grape he is acting like that because that's pretty much why melee is still around, in general, this Game should be dead since 2006 with Brawl's announcement
There's very little reason to play Melee casually nowadays, tho. If you're not interested in the competitive side of it, you may as well just play one of the newer Smash games.
@@karue7581 That's not true. Playing Slippi for a few hours with some chill music can be and is super fun, and is still Melee by and large. Sure, you're maybe not spending a ton of time trying to nail ledgedashes and getting every punish, but what makes Melee different is still there. The movement, combo system, L cancels, netcode (slippi), fun matchups, and just generally faster gameplay still make it worth playing over newer titles.
I also play ult (from time to time) and rarely do I find myself playing for more than a little bit before turning it off. Melee is different (for me), even if I'm not entering tournaments.
What a sobering yet moving video, Kira. It came at a really important part in my life and helped me reflect on the disillusionment I've been experiencing for the past years regarding the game. Trying to keep in shape and up to par with the skill level of the top players (even in one's own region) is exhausting and getting bopped doesn't feel fun. It's hard to come to terms that something most people went head in to fill a void in their lives is probably something that they will have to give up in order to commit to a career, a project or simply something that demands what melee demands, time and effort.
Thanks for the vid :' ]
15:11 It finally went full circle - Watching a video about melee and seeing artosis
Is there some strange overlap between brood war and melee fans? I've heard tasteless mention melee a number of times and they're literally the only esports scenes I've ever cared about.
@@abstractdaddy1384 I don't know really, I just liked StarCraft alot and recently got back into Melee, but seeing as both are very technical games I can see the potential fanbase overlap
Tbh this feels like a rant about you not wanting to play figthing games anymore, and it's really valid and well argumented even if it is your opinion.
I just didn't like the "you have to play lame to win" and like, you PLAY to win in tournaments, the hole point of figthing games neutral is two guys who don't want to aproach and want to hit the other guy.
Despite that I fully get your points and tbh I'm really excited to play your game.
By far most interesting video yet.
Dang. While I can't say I fully agree on everything in this video, it undeniably does contain a lot of hard to accept truths. Melee, like everything else, isn't perfect, and it's always important to evaluate the bad as well as the good in order to make the best decisions for ourselves.
Also 11:45 reminded me a lot of the Melee Stats video on Michael vs Bananas, it even had the same song as the intro
I wasn't expecting that level of raw honesty. It must have been hard for you to make this.
We love you Kira ❤️
18:12 lmao
Really cool video and deep video btw.I understand why some people feel bored bc are too good to play with they friends but no to go competitively.But in my experience i have fun steamrolling people and being steamrolled by other people.
22:47
"My man lowkey sound sunken place, I hope he's cool"
-HomeMadeWaffles 2018
best quote in history
This helped me realize why I want to start ssbm and what my goals are, winning or loosing doesn't matter, it's the skill, the determination, and the enjoyment of the fight and mental chess that is encouraged that should be the catalyst of enjoyment and growth. It doesn't matter if your the best and win every match, or the opposite, enjoying the journey *to* the conclusion of the match is what matters.
What a great way to promote your game! I watched a great, insightful video and left with a game I'm hyped to play! Can't wait for it!
love the silent voice ost. favourite movie of all time, forever. makes me cry just thinking about it
This is a profoundly well put together and important look at some hard realities of this game, and I appreciate your candor in presenting them. Excellent video as always, thanks for your perspective Kira!
Whenever I ask myself "why am I doing this?" The answer is either "I love this community, even tho it's pretty fucked.", "mango", or most often, "melee's sick."
HMW's interview with Hbox was so funny at the time
That got way too real
i just got an existential crisis
Thanks Kira you and your team are awesome! Hope Epiphany City does well!
The most positive thing I can pull from this video is that where I am now, being just average, is probably the best place I can be in.
Melee is sick.
Melee is a sickness.
Melee is a sick sickness that I never truly want to be sick of.
Just remember to take breaks when you play, don't over exert yourself either physically or mentally, and despite the fact that the top levels of competition strip away the stylish parts because playing optimally is a thing that must happen or you will lose...
Don't forget that this is still just a game and that the original intent was for you to have fun playing a game full of cool Nintendo characters that you like.
best melee channel in YT
Hey I'm Kevin Kelbach. Thanks for using my song c: I was getting relaxed/zoned out near the end and heard a little something familiar.
You nailed the checklist. I had to turn my back on the game a few years ago. It was becoming a dead end. Now its much easier to play cause my ego is detached from it. I've been forced through life experience to work on my mindset and now it's all good. Good luck out there.
Also your game looks cool.
as a new player who went 4-2 at their first major and is just struggling on going further since like a month ago when that happened, this video actually spoke to me immensely
realized why I turn to competition is just dissatisfaction with myself and wanting something to give me fulfillment and a sense of improvement
ironically it ends up doing the opposite but im hoping I can get to a point where it’s improved and I can enjoy the journey for my more important passions as well as melee
This video is an introspection that I think most people who've thrown their whole life at a video game can attest to, but even just through the lens of melee you brought up a lot of interesting thoughts. Good video.
I feel like the solution to a lot of these problems is not playing melee for any external reason, but because you enjoy playing the game. Legacy, ego, and rank doesn’t matter if your playing and improving at a game you enjoy.
The idea that time well spent has to be time spent improving your accolades in life whether that be money, prestige, or anything else can be a pretty big trap that ends up leaving you with a joyless life. Sometimes you just do something because you enjoy it and for no other reason.
Even if the skill gap keeps widening, even if new players come along and dethrone the old, or if those old players become even more exponentially stronger, I won’t give up.
you have to be a psycho to choose melee as a career, but we love you for it
I've always loved that clip with Waff and Hbox. I wish he left in the last part when Waff goes "ohhhhhh sup homie!"
It really sounds more about Melee competition than Melee itself, hell it feels about competition in general, competition can change how a game is viewed and played drastically.
Thanks for making this video. As someone who is mostly detached from the community these days and just plays slippi to try and have "fun" this is a great reality check
"""""""""""""fun"""""""""""""
22:24 HMW's "...nawww" is SO funny to me
This definitely makes me think a lot about the competitive scene. I haven’t gone to a tournament but I’ve been practicing the game for a long time by myself and with friends. However I developed pain in my left hand/arm. To me it doesn’t seem worth it to go all in and play it super competitively whenever you have a risk of hurting yourself like that long-term. But that’s just me. I don’t play it too seriously but it seems like the time and effort you put in it would be a lot whenever I can just focus on work and family stuff and living a simpler life.
That point at 10:42 is one of the only things I like about Ultimate competitively, it's not about doing hard stuff, it's about the mental battle and how well you can play neutral and outwit your opponent
Your tutorial channel will really help me ace this week's '10 worst things about melee' test.
you melee players give yourselves such a hard time, whether wanting to quit or not, the fact that you play melee is a testament to your ability, theres alot of us who can only spectate the wild and insane shit that you guys perform.
Damn man. The beginning of this video was beautiful and it made me emotional. Your life looks like it’s one of a kind.
Never thought I’d see a Mikey Williams highlight in a Melee video.
Just realizing that every single game I play is becoming a really obnoxious time where O either have to try to catch a dash dancing fox or fight my way through falco lasers
Wait this man is back? This channel taught me all I know about this game lol
Every time I want to quit, I come back because I remember it could always be worse.
I could be playing Ultimate.
this is gold lmao
melee doesn't have Creeper Sans. Bad game.
That bad huh?
Typical Melee player.
The point about the cursed game problem is a big deal. I don’t have the time to teach someone to play because it’s just going to be years before they’re even passable. Maybe months if they grind like crazy. So instead I just play other games with my friends and melee is just my own little world
This hit me really hard, I has been playing melee for like 10 years and other competitive games, I have made some upsets and won some local tournaments, but I'm still feeling I'm hardstuck in my level
There was a part of me(when i started to play smash competitively) that wanted to go back to just being a casual and play with friends for fun. Now its like im in an awkward spot when I win too much with my casual friends for us all to have fun(not all the time but it happens) but lose too much when i want to play people that are also playing competitively(again, not all the time but it happens). So if i quit ill be like whats the point in quitting, but if i keep going ill be like whats the point in continuing?
In all honestly its not too too bad, but i can feel this way every now and then. Idk about everyone else but i think the reason i play is just to prove myself that i can be good if i really try. Thats my drive at least.
I really like the part around 14:00 when talking about how alot of the times sometimes melee can feel like another shift at work, especially when playing people better than you, and figuring them out. However, I find that once those games are over I feel like I've improved so much and I feel even more eager to take it to the next level! Either way very well put video and great talking points. I fully agree with most of what was said!
The fact falco can just laser DAir shine, or spotdodge shine, and it works until upper-mid level
Tremendous video. You made me feel old Kira.
I've been playing this game since release when I was 8 until 14 years old. When we stopped playing this game I knew there was more to be played but we were so bad the game became stale. Now in 2015 I picked it up again trying all the new skills check all the combo videos and playing on Slippi on the regular.
I tried to be good but once I realised it was too hard, I commited to playing Link. My brother and I have very cool fights on Melee he is a Falco main but lately it has been Slippi only.
That Deep Leffen Bot quote is amazing 16:48
3:50 that m2k clip was GLORIOUS
😂🤣
Words alone can't express how long my soul has waited for this kind of video. Very good stuff
I'm digging the metagame soundtrack
samox has literal top tier taste
@@SSBMTutorials big facts
Facts
Leffen is actually a horrible human being, the way he tried to make himself look like a saint and hero of the community by slandering ZeRo was disgusting
I quite literally have stayed off of Twitter and even stopped playing Melee as much solely based off of Twitter. I love the game but God damn am I tired of the community/constant drama.
idgaf about winning anymore, i jsut play yoshi and if i fidna fox or a matchup i dont like i insta quit lmao. fuck learning just have fun
big mood. i got so frustrated trying to get good at marth that it wasnt fun anymore. now i play doc instead because he's funny
hehe ganon go stomp
@NoblesseOblige Whatever
Worst parts of melee:
Hax is banned.
Leffen is unbannned.
And imo i really wish there was quality of life updates and patches.
Thanks, this video is really important now that a lot of younger people are getting into Melee, most of the time they have an idealistic view of what the experience is and most vids don't help showing that reality, people obviously want to community to grow bigger and so there's this "Melee dream" thing shared everywhere that doesn't reflect the reality of the experience. Excellent video that needs to be shared as much as possible !
I think the second point is a bit exaggerated. A decent gamecube controller will suffice for 95% of players. All the mods you mentioned (save for maybe the capacitor fix for dash-back issues and even then most controllers are fixed with UCF) are unnecessary for 95% of players. UCF fixes a lot of those problems.
You talk about trying to fill the void, either with improvement, competition, or wins.
But I can't help but wonder a few related things:
What if you can never fill that void?
What happens if you don't try to fill it?
What if the void only exists *because* you're trying to fill it?
Just some thoughts...
You can fill it, in fact there is only one thing that can fill it properly. People cannot help but try because otherwise life is so pointless and meaningless that they cannot go on living.
This channel isn’t the best place to talk about that but DM me on Twitter and we can talk
been playing for 8 years, this one hits a little different. thanks for the video kira
Melee players come back to this game like a beaten housewife. Creepy obession tbh
I kind of like the tired and drained feeling of playing melee before bed if the next day is my day off
Even though I disagree with a lot of the reasoning in this video, it's an interesting perspective to competitive Melee and I appreciate it a lot.
Would love to know your take on this Spinda! I think some of the problems Kira brings up like how society views Melee can be trivial if we’re really passionate. But he got me thinking about what I’m trying to do, and what “good” means. That noob to pro wasteland feels so real.
im interested in hearing specifics?
how can you disagree with a statement like "this game is really dissatisfying for new players and they could probably put all that work into something more productive"? That's facts lol
that waff/hbox clip is the best interview in melee history
Kira....
You're talking like... i don't know, some kind of prophets..
Don't know what to say, or think about what i just watched.. but it hit me right in the heart
14:44 nice music :D
I disliked this video because it's demotivating as hell.
As someone who has literally destroyed their hands for this game, my suggestion to new people is take care of your hands, you only have two and surgery is painful.
So unless you're a prodigy, don't destroy your hands for a game.
I've thought about this stuff and had it in the back of my mind as of late. Thinking about how maybe I could have chosen a different path that would lead me to more "useful" things in life. But everytime I try to get into a new hobby, I always think to myself, "I could be practicing melee right now".
my issue is that in order to be competent, you have to be a master of breaking the game to win
This was deep, and I want to maybe talk about myself, ignore it if you want but I wanted to throw this into the ether, it may be long.
I am in the worst mental state of my life. I started playing smash when this period started and it helped, it began with just “This is a fun to play with friends”, and progressed into where it is now, “I want to take my opponent’s stocks and I will do anything in my power to do that”. For my whole life, from so many influences including myself, I have always been a perfectionist, I’ve been working through that and trying to get to a healthier way of taking the good things from that, but I always loved learning and seeing things from many angles and perspectives until I feel like that thing is my native language.
I’ve never been competitive, I don’t like sports and I’ve never liked competitions or gambling with friends. When most of the people I meet who play competitively say they love the competitive drive or they’ve always been competitive, I always wonder why I commit so hard to the game. As a child, I backed out of competitions, sports days at schools, clubs, avoided competitive activities with my siblings, but now I want to be the best player I can be, and somehow my brain believes that player has a lot of potential. It’s natural for losses to suck, and I had a pivotal moment where somebody bodied me for hours and hours. I felt awful, and suddenly I remember lying in bed and saying, “they didn’t beat me in those matches, they beat me because I’m in bed depressed about it”. My mindset changed a lot after that, if I learn how they beat me, and understand there were things that mentally and physically I could do to beat them (if I had those tools during those matches), I would’ve won, so they didn’t win, they just beat the version of me who played earlier. The only time they’re winning is when win I feel worse after and that takes away my drive because I believe that drive can make me beat that person.
I can never understand whether or not it’s healthy, it isn’t I don’t think, because what happens if I reach my limit, and this confidence is false? What if it isn’t that I simply need to learn, and is that I can’t?
When I said I’m in my worse mental state, I mean that I’ve had suicidal thoughts my whole life (lots of personal details I won’t explain), but now I’m close to sealing the deal if you get my drift. The only thing that stops me is my partner in life and smash. I went through a period where I told myself that was pathetic (a video game is one of the two things keeping me alive?) but now I just need the other player to feel how much, in that moment we play, I want their stocks gone.
I hate to say it, but I will sacrifice so much to show it in my gameplay, mental health, physical health, money, time, (up until these things impact my gameplay, in which case I will improve those things but only if it impacts my ability to improve) because I don’t value those things because I want to die. If I don’t have a life I want to live, and smash is the reason I continue to live in a life I don’t want to, then I’m doing that life a disservice by not being the best I can be. It’s either wasted time alive, or time spent dissecting the other player and demolishing them, maybe not the next time we play, or the time after that, but eventually.
I think you’re right, people who feel this way and fall into the trap of filling the void shouldn’t do it. I’m doing that and I’m only just starting, and I feel better than I have before I started despite the bad implications that has. Short or long term I don’t think this is healthy, but if I don’t do it I’ll be dead, it’s scary to know that.
So yeah, I’m a bit fucked up, sorry for the deepness, I’m sorry if this comes across as fake or edgy, I’m not a liar and I truly feel this way. I just wanted to share.
Hey, I read the whole thing, I know you're not lying.
There's not a lot I can say about your mental state, if Smash is helping you then there is no way I can tell you not to play it (I do love the game after all, it has had so many more positives than negatives on my life that I couldn't imagine my life without it). I think you have a good mindset of focusing on the details of how you can play better or trying to find tools to beat them, that has probably helped your improvement a ton so far.
It is easy to fall into that trap because there is really only one thing that can fill it properly. This isn't a discussion for this channel but if you DM me on twitter or email me or something I would love to talk more about it. Thanks for sharing.
@@SSBMTutorials It's definitely a balancing act of whether it's healthy because it's helping me actually get up, probably unhealthy that I'm willing to take so much time to commit to it. Thanks for the kind words though
@@SSBMTutorials Hey, I thought I’d leave an update since I know I never reached out. For a bit of time I realised life was stressing me out and my negative thinking was forcing me into unhealthy mental patterns, I took some time to reduce how much I stressed about life and I’ve been cooking, playing less smash, having fun with friends, even had a brief stoner period lol (basically just spent time feeling good and having positivity be the focus). Now, I’m having more success in smash, and having more fun with it too. I’m grinding again but this time I’ve been reading sports psychology books (the inner game of tennis is a meme but genuinely fantastic and not taking the game personally and having a more healthy attitude to improving). While my focus and goal of my work is to keep improving to hopefully play on a high level, I think taking care of the mentality aspect is going to make that faster and more efficient. I appreciate your kindness from the previous comment you made and the vid.
@@SSBMTutorials I’m updating again. My god, the affect working on your mental health and mentality is so much more powerful than any level of grinding. I stopped playing for like 2 months, came back and now I swear I have unlocked some inner-gamer I didn’t have before. My reaction time is increasing, my knowledge neutral has expanded, my nerves towards tournaments is managed so much better and my daily life isn’t depressed and destructive anymore. I don’t think it’ll be long before I compete cause it’s getting boring playing normally. Thanks for the support, and the awesome videos, good luck xx
I guess you can call it Ego because I want my art to be seen, but I play this game to express my thoughts and ideas in-game. Soul reads and all of that, I want to play my best even if I lose
If you have hand problems, get a magic wand and massage your hands every day + exercises for your hand. Since I use a magic wand 90% of my pain is gone.
I've come into this game from DBFZ (after 3 years) due to lack of roll back netcode and local scene. I threw down on a decent controller being that I play ultimate with Friends and use Dolphin Emulator for specific games. This video does really make me think about wether it's legitimately possible for me to become a decent player like I did in DBFZ. Lack of online ranked, deep and vast difficult game knowledge, hand issues, required skill and implementation. Including I want to kick box, go on vacation, be with my girlfriend, do IT work, cook. With DBFZ it's such a simple game structure wise that even if I haven't played the game for two weeks, 30 minutes if practice and I can go wipe the floor with someone who is 3 or 4 ranks above SSRose. Unsure if I want to put such a large amount of time into the game. As much as I am fascinated, love watching, and enjoy practicing it.
I don’t think I agree with you on the melee is expensive part. The whole ‘controller Wii and crt combo won’t cost you more than a hundred and fifty bucks maybe, and you can go even cheaper if you already have even a low tier pc with the new optimization mods. I agree that having an optimal controller would be super important at top level, but at that point you’d be so invested in the game that it doesn’t matter how much it’d cost. As well, it’s one of the cheapest games to keep up in. A lot of other top games for esports do require those high end pcs and have big up front costs. Just compare melee to ultimate. Not only do you need to pay at least 50$ for the game, your switch is floating around 300, the tv is going to be more expensive cause it’s HD, and you owe Nintendo 30$ a month plus paying for DLC every time it comes out. Add that to the extra controller adapter you might need and the GameCube controller itself. It’s clear that melee isn’t ‘free’ but it’s definitely not expensive.
I love the last music "The Night passes the Earth to Day" from the smash Doc
jesus fucking christ the last section got me tearing up. not a melee player but as someone who's gotten to high levels in competition, theres nothing worse than success becoming the expected result
My man low key sound sunken place
I haven’t played my favorite game in like 2 months :(
Man, #4 just kinda hit me a little too hard...
I haven't played the game for the last two years and was surprised that this video got recommended to me at all. I think aside from the risks of permanent hand damage, I think I know why I'm just not driven to play anymore. I was never able to go far enough in tournaments, even after 4 years of serious playing and practice. I did improve over time, sure, but just seeing that gap as a mid-level player, not even ranked in my region or even subregion, between me and the top players just had me wondering how much longer I would be playing the game to get to their level. The results were slowly paying off, but the grind was just too much.
Ignoring the fact that the pandemic also killed a lot of my motivation to keep playing, I realized I had earned nothing physically significant in those 4 years. I only earned $10 from winning two small local tournaments, at my best gotten close to surviving wave one pools at a supermajor, and had consistently gotten extremely close to making upsets on ranked players. That was it. This game has one of the, if not, the most brutal treks across the skill gap in any game ever, and I was unable to pass it, even though at some point of my life, this game became everything to me, and I have nothing to show for it.
But I fucking love this game, and I still do. It's just extremely brutal to think about how I'll likely never be the best like I envisioned to be several years ago. I think I still won something mentally from my years of playing, and that was character. I wouldn't want to take that time playing this game, meeting people, having some of the best moments of my life up, even if I was just a mid level player who never made it, back to do something else. Even if I made the choice to quit the game, in a way, I earned something I would have never earned had I never decided to pick up the game and go to my first tournament.
Idk this video made me far more emotional for the game than I have been in a while. Thank you so much for creating such excellent and high quality content for such a long time. You've been one of my biggest inspirations as far back as when I started watching your videos to learn simply the basics like wavedashing and L-cancelling.
I love that the goat Ed Reed made an appearance in an ssbm tutorials vid lol.
I guess I'm the odd one out here but i mostly play & improve at melee for the social aspect and because it's a genuinely fun game. I have a few friends i like playing with and it's fun when they beat me, it's also fun when i beat them, we laugh, we cheer, and each of us improving makes each time more fun and more challenging.
I think your qualms with the game are more related to the mentality of wanting to be the best than to melee itself. I really have no aspiration of ever joining a tournament seriously or even being remotely good at the game, I've been playing falco for a bit now and i can't even multishine, i really don't care, i still beat my friends lol
"soul-dur-ing" hehe
great video as always kira. relatable, lots of heart, amazing stuff!
I played a former training partner from school after years of not playing and he thought I was playing lame, but there is that realization that your have to adopt more optimal play that can be “lame” to win. It’s tough.
I feel like this is an ode to trying to be competitive in not just melee, but most sports and competitive outlets. It's hard, it's stressful, but you can meet great people and get great things out of it
i'm not crying, you are :(
Nice video. I liked when you used svg for bgm
I love smash but it makes me hella mad sometimes but that’s honestly been great for me cause I’ve gotten a good mindset for many other things in my life. Great vid btw