Gems, gems, gems everywhere! Wonderful conversation about conversations. Important takeaways: 1.) The way you speak paints a picture of who you are so speak the way you wish to be perceived. If you wish to be kind, use kind words. If you wish to be authoritative, use words like “direction”-I’d like to take the conversation in this direction (e.g. you sound like a captain.) 2.) Instead of “Why did you say that?” Ask, “I’m curious. What was going through your mind when you said that?” ‘Why did you’ statements/accusatory questions put people on defense because you’re questioning their autonomy and credibility which no one enjoys. 3.) When there is room for kindness, use it. 4.) When someone is misrepresenting your values (I.e. belittling employees), continue to uphold your values (I.e. thank the servers) and then have a private conversation about not being able to go out with them if it continues. 5.) Take a breath before you speak (to be effective and stand your ground). 6.) When someone disrespects you, pause 10 seconds and ask them to repeat themselves. Ask if they are attempting to embarrass you. This often makes people backtrack. 7.) Frame the conversation, describe how you want it to end before it starts. “I’d like to walk away from this conversation with both of us feeling good.” 8.) Beating around the bush causes anxiety in the other person. Speaking directly makes people respect you.
I believe Jefferson is being the adult in the room of the world of children. He is setting an example of a kind and loving, sovereign authority that has the right to exist as an individual and be heard and respected. What a better world this would be if everyone practiced what he is suggesting.
Jefferson has the Mr. Rogers feels. I always feel like what Jefferson shares, he does so from his heart. My wish is for more souls to think about what Jefferson shares. Let's build a better world today!!
Actually the main reason I am following him and you Mel is your kindness. Your kindness guys is shown in your faces and voice which I would like to see and hear all the times ❤❤❤
The best interview you’ve ever conducted. Conversational, clear and you’re letting your guest speak on their expertise vs acting as if you’re the professional.
I agree. She’s such a fantastic interviewer. She gets to the heart of the matter and brings out all of the most important points. In a long interview like this, my mind would usually wander and I would miss a lot but Mel has a way of emphasizing points along the way and bringing my focus back to what’s important. (Maybe I have a touch of ADD)
Blown away 😮 I am not a native English speaker and as soon as I pressed play I wondered, “Would my English need to improve in order to put into practice this advice?” And not even 5 minutes into the video my question is answered. Mel never disappoints with her amazing work and the dedication towards her audience by bringing really unique people to her studio. Thank you both!
03:03 I loved the part where Jefferson Fisher talks about the power of words in shaping how people perceive you, specifically when he says, "You can’t be a kind person if you don’t say kind things." This is such a profound insight that reminds us of the weight our words carry. His explanation that what we say compresses our entire personality into the sound of our words is incredibly eye-opening. It makes you realize how much influence you truly have over your relationships and how you're perceived, just by choosing your words carefully. So empowering!
Well said. I do many unseen kind things however I don’t see myself as articulate, so this insight especially was powerful within the whole heart opening conversation.
Im dealing with a boss at work that is narcissistic and enjoys belittling me with passive aggressive comments, convoluted directions, and an ever changing goal post. These tips are making me feel empowered. I realize the control is still within me in how I react and respond. I know who I am, and I like myself. My boss can't take that away. Thank you for this wonderful information.
I can't beleive that i've studied Social communication and i actually didn't AT ALL how to communicate effectivelly after watching this show. OMG thank you sooo much Mel Robbins and Jefferson you are SAVING LIVES BROTHER
I've been considering the word "class" recently & exploring what it actually means, signifies ... Class signifies hierarchies, developed by the Brits and used as a form of showing who has the power & control. The "upper classes" assumed & implied "Superiority", as though they were better than others beneath them, while the others were / are seen as lower than, inferior. "Class" connotes condescension. I don't think Jeffersen is condescending. So, now, I'm searching for another word to describe Jeffersen's attitude & approach. He espouses consideration clearly...with a manner that is full of calm, comfort & clarity....and creates calm & comfort & ease in the listener. He is considerate of himself, his surroundings & of others. He is aware & mindful of his words & actions with kind consideration.
That's not realistic when your dealing with people with real problems... Some people naturally overshare and if your an empath you will be bombarded.....
Jefferson is such a soft spoken individual. I look at him and listen to him , he comes across as someone you can trust right away. His body language as well! So open yet kind.
Mel, I love the fact that you are an avalanche and a waterfall! (In your own words) That’s why you’re able to do what you do. You are a person who can assimilate information and condense it to the most important points and emphasize them and then share it with the world. That’s such a beautiful thing. I find when I listen to your interviews, you are asking all of the right questions and bringing out the most important stuff that I might’ve missed otherwise because I can follow rabbit trails. You’re doing what you were born to do by inspiring others. Your podcasts are always relevant, informative, and so helpful. ❤
@@RlRdHd The silent majority, seek out a different people if this is special for you. Be your own best Parent. When we stay off drugs, the Prefrontal Lobe develops by age 26 and our executive functioning brain can stop help us control impulse. And never hang with people using drugs.
This brought me to tears. Growing up I was never shown love or kindness, so that is what I put out to the world. Fortunately I believe I DID show my kids love and kindness, but I also want to start showing that to other people. After all, they aren’t the ones that hurt me. This man is such a beautiful human with a soft soul. ❤
There is a transcript on the main TH-cam, go out of comments and click more…. On the description and scroll down quite a ways almost the bottom to find it
Wow. This is one of the most useful youtube videos I have ever watched. I don't think I've ever encountered a more authentic human. I'm encouraging my entire work team to listen to this interview.
I love him. I discovered him on Tik Tok first a year ago. I now listen to his podcast on here and I have pre-ordered his book 'The Next Conversation'. I also signed up for his newsletter.
I love how Mel just accepts the way she is is being doing wrong and confidently share things without feeling being judged is a huge thing! Mel is like I need to change certain patterns now! Wow!! Great perspective
I can't tell you how many times I have listened to this. Not to mention how many times I play his short videos over and over. He has really helped me!!!
I like what Jefferson has to say but I don’t want you to change, Mel. I love the way you express yourself, the way you start talking and let your thoughts lead the way. It’s easy to listen to you and follow your train of thought. It might not be ideal when you’re talking to a single person (I’ve not had that experience with you), but it certainly works while you’re talking your audience. Love your show.
I love when Jefferson teaches !!! So many people with podcasts need to understand the energy they share by their communications, WORDS ... can empower or demoralize or embrace positive or negative thought streams being shared. ✨️✨️We all have a need to be understood✨️✨️ Fear simply stops us from truthful communications. I would rather someone ask, "did you intend to hurt me with what you just said" ... because that means their feelings are fully engaged along with their emotions, and they have been triggered. BUT most people don't verbalize the 'hurt feeling' at the time they are hurt.
Truly the best guest you’ve had thus far ! He’s so young yet has such old wise sage demeanor and wisdom !! I love that yall put down time stamps with titles as ppl in my circle can’t watch full long episodes but I can share your timestamps with them to skip to parts that pertain to them so THANK YOU!
Omg! As soon as he said these words they hit straight to my heart (I started crying as soon as he said) "it's my first time being a mom/wife I'm learning to" and his closing words just amazing it's never to late to change! He is a light and kind soul and he transmitted that to me in the whole. video ❤ Such a helpful vidwo for my healing journey. Thank you Mel for bringing us people who share value and growth.
Admitting being hurt by someone's statement is tough; I might say, "Did you say that to needle me?" Needing help with certain chores and asking for help is a great strategy instead of being judgmental of the other. Occasionally, I honestly stated when asked how I was by saying I have a blistering headache and laugh. That wasn't taken personally by the other.Great advice from Jefferson: if you can't be a bridge, be a lighthouse. Value of how words make people feel; words inform them of who I am. Thanks to both Mel and Jefferson for all these important points on conversing with others whether family, friends, non-friends or business. Thank you.
I work with many different personalities. I need to be true to myself and show people who I am, my values and to speak a clear message to to be effective and respectful to the listener and myself. My husband always says ‘Be clear, concise and capable of no missunderstanding’! Jefferson just puts in practice terms. I have been also following him for a year or so and he has taught me as much as you have Mel! Thank you for having him on. I will rewatch this episode at least twice more to take in everyone ‘word’! ❤
I loved the part where Jefferson fisher talks about the power of words in shaping how people perceive you, specifically when he says, "you can't be a kind peson if you don't say kind things. "This is such a profound insight that reminds us of the weight our words carry. His explanation that what we say compresses our entire personality into the sound of our words is incredibly eye-opening. It makes you realize how much infuence you truly have over your relationships and how you're perceived, just by coosing your words i like what jefferson has to say but i don't want you to change, mel. I love the way you express yourself, the way you start talking and let your thoughts lean the way. It's easy listen to you and follow your train of thought
Tranks for inviting Jefferson. I follow him and love his short and direct into the point way to talk and help with communication skills. Great having you both talking together. 🙌
Thank you Mel and Jefferson, the world needs more of these conversations and tools. You’re both so honest, humble and sincere. “Who do my words say that I am?” So many gems in this conversation. ❤
You guys are amazing, Jefferson is so down to earth and is teaching me so much about communication and being a better person. I watch everyday. God Bless Jefferson. Jefferson where did you learn to communicate so well, was it your parents? If so, wow.. how fortunate to have wonderful parents. If not then where… thank you everyday for your light that shines so bright.
It was one of the best conversations I have ever had the privilege to listen to. Mel you asked great questions and Jefferson is just on a completely different level. I took notes and this is going to literally change my life. Thank you to you both.
I'd like to thank you and Jefferson for a few reasons. Firstly, I discovered your podcast to exercise my English listening skills. I'm from Brazil and here, in order to keep my English active and up to date, I need to have contact with the language every day and after listening I realized that the content was very interesting and relevant and I started following it. 2nd because after listening to this episode with Jefferson I made some important reflections about the way I communicate. I'm not a very patient person and I often blow up at someone when I'm angry or hear something I think is stupid. I'm an objective person and in Brazil this is considered impolite or I'm seen as aggressive. I practiced the techniques I heard in this episode with my mothers this week and I was successful. Thank you both! I'm already following Jefferson too.
I just learned to smile regardless of type of conversations you're trying to have with someone. I have seen him smile through all his responses. Genius!
I love Jefferson and I love Mel. They are great communicators and so generous to share invaluable life lessons with all of us. I feel like we relate to them exactly because of their genuine kindness and generosity. I just have a reservation regarding attributing the majority of "what a person is" to his/her words. Some people can be kind and extremely good with words and still their actions won't reflect the work that it takes to be a truly good parent, partner, friend, coworker etc. I believe words matter but actions show true value.
I have 2 pages of notes from this episode it was fantastic and I loved Jefferson and I loved the dynamics between the 2 of you together a yin and a yang. Thank you for this it was an incredible lesson incommunications.
I am going to listen to it 10 times. Because there are a lot of messages. Dear Mel, thanks for making such kind of wonderful discussions and asking all the interesting questions. I love them. ❤
Ms. Mel, since I first heard you, I liked you because you seem so normal. Like if you can relate to what you talk about. You always seem sincere and transparent. And it’s amazing the way you admit that you need to learn different topic or better yourself just like the rest of us that listen to you and Jefferson. My God continue to guide you and blessings to your family❤
This episode changed my conversation life! Thank you for this Mel and Jefferson. My wife, kids, friends and even strangers will get the best version of me. 🙏🏽🤙🏽
Listening to what someone is really saying in their words is an art and has been around for ages. It’s not new. What comes out of a person’s mouth absolutely reflects who they are…as well as the vibe that they put out, and both are not always in sync , so inauthenticity is present. Communication is a package deal…and not just one element. What is sent out (spoken) and what is received (heard) mismatch many times. It’s getting these two parts to match is the goal…the mission. Curiosity is key to understand. ❤ Apologies have to be genuine with words and feel/vibe. Most folks ramble out a quick apology without any sincerity. I agree with many points mentioned and semi agree with a few others. 😊 As an Empath, everything needs to be real and authentic which comes from within…so please don’t try to be something you are not. Don’t “try” be this or that in a meeting, in a conversation discussion, etc. Always be You. If it doesn’t flow naturally, then leave it alone. I can sense inauthenticity a mile away. Interesting discussion…thank you. 🎉 I like his name Jefferson. 😊
I will say, this is one of my very favorite podcast. I listen to it on my drive into work and used the information all day today.And wow, what a difference it made!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mel. And thank you jefferson, for this amazing program!!❤❤❤❤
Play, possibly the best interview I have ever felt. Thank you so much! Also, thank you to the community for all of these positive comments… Helps to keep learning and feel the power of an expensive community. Now going to stalk Jefferson.
Hats off to Jefferson's father for instilling this amazing mindset in his son. And hats off to Jefferson for taking this baton and happily handing it off to us listening. This is a Blessed moment for me, thank you. ❤ Georgi 🇵🇬 from Papua New Guinea
This was the best conversation I have listened to in ages!! And it was exactly what I’ve been searching for. I’m about to get a promotion at work and have been very worried about how to deal with colleagues who will suddenly have to see me as their boss! Now I have tools to work on how I can communicate with them. I am by nature a kind and empathetic person, but often colleagues take advantage of that and belittle me, or patronise me. Now I know how I can cope with this in the future. Thank you so so so much Mel and Gefferson! This podcast I know will change my life! ❤
This is gold- one of the best podcast interviews I’ve ever seen/heard. Thank you for preparing, Mel, by coming with great questions and situations to talk about. And thank you Jefferson for sharing your wisdom 🙌
Hi mel im godfrey ny 40 mid, introvert, temp. Listen i have an interesting experience, even though, I am just as good as a Lerner schooling like any others I can learn choose to learn from, I make a dedication on what I learn here. If hope I'm not far behind following your podcast.. thank you mel..
I have known Mel for few years already and I do really appreciate her and I recently found out about Jefferson. This is second conversation with him that I am listening first was with Lewis Howes and I have to say I really enjoyed both of them and every second was worth it and we all have a lot learn if we are open minded and humble enough to accept that we don’t know everything. Great Respect for both of them very kind and loving conversation 👏🏼
Dear Mel its your all abilities where you are recognizing the real abilities and of anyone's abilities and we are learning these all abilities which are making us more confident.we love all Mentors and their encouragement specially LinkedIn team and Mentors.
I appreciate the part where you show that you are also Human, make mistakes and apologize for your actions. I really appreciate this types of podcast and conversations, I appreciate and respect humans that are not perfect who know they are not and they are willing to keep learning and improving themselves, also open to hear and learn from others.
One of the most substantive conversations I’ve listened to in a long time. Thank you for creating one of the most thought provoking and valuable podcasts ever!
This guy is a freaking genius and I'm only 20 minutes into this podcast episode and I already feel significantly more intelligent and I feel that I could articulate myself much better... Hopefully it's not just inflated, false confidence 😂
Hi Mel, glad you finally talked with Jefferson. I've been listening to him for quite a while and he is very insightful with dealing with toxic people. His advice in handling difficult conversations that are often confrontational has been so amazingly helpful.
Gems, gems, gems everywhere! Wonderful conversation about conversations.
Important takeaways:
1.) The way you speak paints a picture of who you are so speak the way you wish to be perceived. If you wish to be kind, use kind words. If you wish to be authoritative, use words like “direction”-I’d like to take the conversation in this direction (e.g. you sound like a captain.)
2.) Instead of “Why did you say that?” Ask, “I’m curious. What was going through your mind when you said that?” ‘Why did you’ statements/accusatory questions put people on defense because you’re questioning their autonomy and credibility which no one enjoys.
3.) When there is room for kindness, use it.
4.) When someone is misrepresenting your values (I.e.
belittling employees), continue to uphold your values (I.e. thank the servers) and then have a private conversation about not being able to go out with them if it continues.
5.) Take a breath before you speak (to be effective and stand your ground).
6.) When someone disrespects you, pause 10 seconds and ask them to repeat themselves. Ask if they are attempting to embarrass you. This often makes people backtrack.
7.) Frame the conversation, describe how you want it to end before it starts. “I’d like to walk away from this conversation with both of us feeling good.”
8.) Beating around the bush causes anxiety in the other person. Speaking directly makes people respect you.
Thanks so much for a good overview. Much appreciated. Now it is just the work to be done in applying these skills. I will definetely try!
Thank you for doing this 😊
OMG thank you so much
I could not agree more! Absolutely amazing episode!
Wow
I believe Jefferson is being the adult in the room of the world of children. He is setting an example of a kind and loving, sovereign authority that has the right to exist as an individual and be heard and respected. What a better world this would be if everyone practiced what he is suggesting.
Well said!!
Amazingly put🙏🏼
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😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Jefferson truly has a gift for effective communication. He speaks truth with kindness. A rare combination.
He needs to have his own podcast. Such a calm soul
He has one! The Jefferson Fisher Podcast.
@@marcielizabeth7425 thx for the info.👍
He has one. Just found it.
💯!!!
@@marcielizabeth7425 Thanks! I just downloaded every episode 🎉❤👍🏼😅
They’re the perfect length for my commute to (my day with people at) work 🤣
Jefferson has the Mr. Rogers feels. I always feel like what Jefferson shares, he does so from his heart. My wish is for more souls to think about what Jefferson shares. Let's build a better world today!!
Sorry, who's Mr Rogers
Yes Mr Roger’s ❤❤❤❤
If I can't be a bridge, be a lighthouse.
Have something to learn rather than something to prove.
Brilliant thank you both.
Actually the main reason I am following him and you Mel is your kindness. Your kindness guys is shown in your faces and voice which I would like to see and hear all the times ❤❤❤
Kindness is great value we have to share to people around you.
Can you please share with me his channel please
The best interview you’ve ever conducted. Conversational, clear and you’re letting your guest speak on their expertise vs acting as if you’re the professional.
I agree. She’s such a fantastic interviewer. She gets to the heart of the matter and brings out all of the most important points. In a long interview like this, my mind would usually wander and I would miss a lot but Mel has a way of emphasizing points along the way and bringing my focus back to what’s important. (Maybe I have a touch of ADD)
Blown away 😮
I am not a native English speaker and as soon as I pressed play I wondered, “Would my English need to improve in order to put into practice this advice?”
And not even 5 minutes into the video my question is answered.
Mel never disappoints with her amazing work and the dedication towards her audience by bringing really unique people to her studio.
Thank you both!
03:03 I loved the part where Jefferson Fisher talks about the power of words in shaping how people perceive you, specifically when he says, "You can’t be a kind person if you don’t say kind things." This is such a profound insight that reminds us of the weight our words carry. His explanation that what we say compresses our entire personality into the sound of our words is incredibly eye-opening. It makes you realize how much influence you truly have over your relationships and how you're perceived, just by choosing your words carefully. So empowering!
Well said. I do many unseen kind things however I don’t see myself as articulate, so this insight especially was powerful within the whole heart opening conversation.
“If I can’t be a bridge, be a lighthouse”
I love that. ❤🙏🏻
This just made me cry. Having a hard time with bosses right now, and this gave me such hopeful tools for getting through to them.
Im dealing with a boss at work that is narcissistic and enjoys belittling me with passive aggressive comments, convoluted directions, and an ever changing goal post. These tips are making me feel empowered. I realize the control is still within me in how I react and respond. I know who I am, and I like myself. My boss can't take that away. Thank you for this wonderful information.
Just quit
Quitting is not always the solution. Maybe he’ll be the one that ends up quitting.
@@cassierae9399 👏👏👏👏👏
@@naomia.medina1071 🫶
@@cassierae9399 I thought you talking about an owner for the business
I can't beleive that i've studied Social communication and i actually didn't AT ALL how to communicate effectivelly after watching this show. OMG thank you sooo much Mel Robbins and Jefferson you are SAVING LIVES BROTHER
I follow Jefferson because he is articulate with CLASS and we can tell he's an all around GREAT human being!
Can you imagine being on a jury with this guy as defense lawyer? He makes it so simple and non-confrontive
I've been considering the word "class" recently & exploring what it actually means, signifies ...
Class signifies hierarchies, developed by the Brits and used as a form of showing who has the power & control. The "upper classes" assumed & implied "Superiority", as though they were better than others beneath them, while the others were / are seen as lower than, inferior.
"Class" connotes condescension.
I don't think Jeffersen is condescending.
So, now, I'm searching for another word to describe Jeffersen's attitude & approach.
He espouses consideration clearly...with a manner that is full of calm, comfort & clarity....and creates calm & comfort & ease in the listener.
He is considerate of himself, his surroundings & of others.
He is aware & mindful of his words & actions with kind consideration.
“The value of how I make people feel with my words” …a bridge and a lighthouse. Bless Jefrerson .
That's not realistic when your dealing with people with real problems... Some people naturally overshare and if your an empath you will be bombarded.....
Jefferson is such a soft spoken individual. I look at him and listen to him , he comes across as someone you can trust right away. His body language as well! So open yet kind.
It’s also his tone of voice that draws in as well.
Mel, I love the fact that you are an avalanche and a waterfall! (In your own words) That’s why you’re able to do what you do. You are a person who can assimilate information and condense it to the most important points and emphasize them and then share it with the world. That’s such a beautiful thing. I find when I listen to your interviews, you are asking all of the right questions and bringing out the most important stuff that I might’ve missed otherwise because I can follow rabbit trails. You’re doing what you were born to do by inspiring others. Your podcasts are always relevant, informative, and so helpful. ❤
Yes and I love that Mel is so open and talks true things about herself rather than play the “know it n do it all perfectly “
Jefferson is such an excellent example for a human being. Kind, honest and such great attitude. Appreciate him sharing his knowledge.
This guy was raised by “ good” parents
You can tell
Mom and dad must be proud 😊
Being a kind direct communicator, is more about our choices and less about our parents. It doesn't depend on how that relationship was with parents.
Yep. JEFFERSON talked about his parents with warmth, affection and respect! ❤
Just when I thought dysfunctional was normal...this guy is a unicorn.
@@RlRdHd The silent majority, seek out a different people if this is special for you. Be your own best Parent. When we stay off drugs, the Prefrontal Lobe develops by age 26 and our executive functioning brain can stop help us control impulse. And never hang with people using drugs.
This brought me to tears. Growing up I was never shown love or kindness, so that is what I put out to the world. Fortunately I believe I DID show my kids love and kindness, but I also want to start showing that to other people. After all, they aren’t the ones that hurt me. This man is such a beautiful human with a soft soul. ❤
No Nonsense,Common sense,Smart,Caring,Genuine,Gentleman is Jefferson Fisher.❤️💝💝
His demeanor reminds me of my fiance!
@@AG-nn8lplucky you then my other half I dare not look at them sort of disinterest weird
I have been following Jefferson for a while. He has such a calm powerful approach to communication.
It would be great to have a transcript. There are so many good tips and lessons
You can get the transcript from TH-cam or ChatGPT. I would suggest to get it on ChatGPT for better quality.
There is a transcript on the main TH-cam, go out of comments and click more…. On the description and scroll down quite a ways almost the bottom to find it
The transcript is there, at the bottom
I absolutely agree
There’s an AI extension for TH-cam transcripts
I’m in love with this man. Every man needs to communicate like this.
Me too... lucky family.
Wow. This is one of the most useful youtube videos I have ever watched. I don't think I've ever encountered a more authentic human. I'm encouraging my entire work team to listen to this interview.
Jefferson is a national treasure. Great interview with him. Invite him again!!
i watched this twice!! EVERYONE could benefit listening to this conversation. thank you!
Wouldn’t it be amazing if the world all listened to this and could communicate in a respectful way?
He really shares a lot of useful insights to practice in our communication with others.
Twice-Me too!
Me too I think I'll watch again. I think he is amazing
@@lorrainewright9643absolutely! ☺️
This literally is my bible and survival guide for my PhD and for surviving the toxic culture of academia. Thanks to you and Jefferson!
I love him. I discovered him on Tik Tok first a year ago. I now listen to his podcast on here and I have pre-ordered his book 'The Next Conversation'. I also signed up for his newsletter.
Me too!! He’s so cool!!!
I love how Mel just accepts the way she is is being doing wrong and confidently share things without feeling being judged is a huge thing! Mel is like I need to change certain patterns now! Wow!! Great perspective
OMG Mel, thank you. Thank you for having Jefferson on your show . These is a dream team. I am so grateful❤😊
This is really epic!
I can't tell you how many times I have listened to this.
Not to mention how many times I play his short videos over and over.
He has really helped me!!!
I like what Jefferson has to say but I don’t want you to change, Mel. I love the way you express yourself, the way you start talking and let your thoughts lead the way. It’s easy to listen to you and follow your train of thought. It might not be ideal when you’re talking to a single person (I’ve not had that experience with you), but it certainly works while you’re talking your audience. Love your show.
I love when Jefferson teaches !!! So many people with podcasts need to understand the energy they share by their communications, WORDS ... can empower or demoralize or embrace positive or negative thought streams being shared. ✨️✨️We all have a need to be understood✨️✨️
Fear simply stops us from truthful communications. I would rather someone ask, "did you intend to hurt me with what you just said" ... because that means their feelings are fully engaged along with their emotions, and they have been triggered. BUT most people don't verbalize the 'hurt feeling' at the time they are hurt.
I follow Jefferson. He is a calming and realistic person with the best advice. Uncomplicated advice. Thank you Mel for this podcast. ❤
Truly the best guest you’ve had thus far ! He’s so young yet has such old wise sage demeanor and wisdom !! I love that yall put down time stamps with titles as ppl in my circle can’t watch full long episodes but I can share your timestamps with them to skip to parts that pertain to them so THANK YOU!
Omg! As soon as he said these words they hit straight to my heart (I started crying as soon as he said) "it's my first time being a mom/wife I'm learning to" and his closing words just amazing it's never to late to change! He is a light and kind soul and he transmitted that to me in the whole. video ❤ Such a helpful vidwo for my healing journey. Thank you Mel for bringing us people who share value and growth.
Admitting being hurt by someone's statement is tough; I might say, "Did you say that to needle me?" Needing help with certain chores and asking for help is a great strategy instead of being judgmental of the other. Occasionally, I honestly stated when asked how I was by saying I have a blistering headache and laugh. That wasn't taken personally by the other.Great advice from Jefferson: if you can't be a bridge, be a lighthouse. Value of how words make people feel; words inform them of who I am. Thanks to both Mel and Jefferson for all these important points on conversing with others whether family, friends, non-friends or business. Thank you.
What a beautiful man, so genuine, lucky Mel to meet him
Love his TT! But truly is his calmness, tone, demeanor and energy plus the communication style. He listen, smiles and makes eye contact.
What a humble and intelligent man.
I work with many different personalities. I need to be true to myself and show people who I am, my values and to speak a clear message to to be effective and respectful to the listener and myself. My husband always says ‘Be clear, concise and capable of no missunderstanding’! Jefferson just puts in practice terms. I have been also following him for a year or so and he has taught me as much as you have Mel!
Thank you for having him on. I will rewatch this episode at least twice more to take in everyone ‘word’! ❤
I always learn something new when I see Jefferson's videos. Thank you for having him on the show!
Jefferson changed my mindset for my communication. He makes it to sound possible and easy… simple…
I have watcher 100 of podcast on communication and read few famous book but this is pure gem starting 11min and I am blown
I loved the part where Jefferson fisher talks about the power of words in shaping how people perceive you, specifically when he says, "you can't be a kind peson if you don't say kind things. "This is such a profound insight that reminds us of the weight our words carry. His explanation that what we say compresses our entire personality into the sound of our words is incredibly eye-opening. It makes you realize how much infuence you truly have over your relationships and how you're perceived, just by coosing your words i like what jefferson has to say but i don't want you to change, mel. I love the way you express yourself, the way you start talking and let your thoughts lean the way. It's easy listen to you and follow your train of thought
Tranks for inviting Jefferson. I follow him and love his short and direct into the point way to talk and help with communication skills. Great having you both talking together. 🙌
Thank you Mel and Jefferson, the world needs more of these conversations and tools. You’re both so honest, humble and sincere. “Who do my words say that I am?” So many gems in this conversation. ❤
This is the beeeeeeeeeest podcast I've ever watched! Thank you Mel and Jeff for all you do 🙏
Hi
Downloaded this and will be listening and re-listening
You guys are amazing, Jefferson is so down to earth and is teaching me so much about communication and being a better person. I watch everyday. God Bless Jefferson. Jefferson where did you learn to communicate so well, was it your parents? If so, wow.. how fortunate to have wonderful parents. If not then where… thank you everyday for your light that shines so bright.
Agree, really like what Jefferson teaches. It would be interesting, Mel, to hear how he learned these communication techniques.
Yes please
I'm so glad that you got him on your show Mel!!! 🎉
It was one of the best conversations I have ever had the privilege to listen to. Mel you asked great questions and Jefferson is just on a completely different level. I took notes and this is going to literally change my life. Thank you to you both.
The words of our mouth reveal what's in our heart
Jeffer is love to watch, Treat to watch...We need more like this and in HR and trainings implementing this calmness and politeness
"I'm telling you this because I know you can handle it..." I love that❤
I was upset today for not being recognized at work. This came at the perfect time. ❤
I'd like to thank you and Jefferson for a few reasons. Firstly, I discovered your podcast to exercise my English listening skills. I'm from Brazil and here, in order to keep my English active and up to date, I need to have contact with the language every day and after listening I realized that the content was very interesting and relevant and I started following it. 2nd because after listening to this episode with Jefferson I made some important reflections about the way I communicate. I'm not a very patient person and I often blow up at someone when I'm angry or hear something I think is stupid. I'm an objective person and in Brazil this is considered impolite or I'm seen as aggressive. I practiced the techniques I heard in this episode with my mothers this week and I was successful.
Thank you both! I'm already following Jefferson too.
So far, one of the best podcasts with Jeff ❤
Hi
I just learned to smile regardless of type of conversations you're trying to have with someone. I have seen him smile through all his responses. Genius!
“The issue between us, is not each other. Is the problem!” POWERFUL LINE to use when disagreeing with that significant other!!!
Thank you for the unconditional love. That's what the words of this podcast said to me!
This is probably the best podcast I've ever watched. There were so many great nuggets within this interview. Thank you!
I love Jefferson and I love Mel. They are great communicators and so generous to share invaluable life lessons with all of us. I feel like we relate to them exactly because of their genuine kindness and generosity. I just have a reservation regarding attributing the majority of "what a person is" to his/her words. Some people can be kind and extremely good with words and still their actions won't reflect the work that it takes to be a truly good parent, partner, friend, coworker etc. I believe words matter but actions show true value.
This is fantastic, I've watched a few times but will do it some more to let it sink in. Great information and down to earth.
I am going to listen to this one the third time, but this time through here.
What a show!!! Have always loved his reels and this was just the greatest collection of that wisdom. Bless you both 🙌🏼
This is probably the BEST podcast episode I have ever seen!!!!! Just love Jefferson Fisher!
I need replay this video over and over.A lot information that i need to apply. Thanks for this podcast!
I have 2 pages of notes from this episode it was fantastic and I loved Jefferson and I loved the dynamics between the 2 of you together a yin and a yang.
Thank you for this it was an incredible lesson incommunications.
Jefferson has changed my life drastically. Best TH-camr on this topic. Cannot wait to buy his book.
“Your BREATH” is your first WORD” I’m stealing that!!! 🙏🏽✌️👏
In ALL my years of YOGA, I have never heard it that way!!
🤯🙌❤️
Right, that was GOLD!!
Me too! So simple, so true!
This is a powerful perspective to consider
Breathing is a great way of communication, the doctor will see and count one’s breaths to also gain information🎉🎉
And it speaks YHWH. Gods name. He put his name on every breath we take.
I am going to listen to it 10 times. Because there are a lot of messages. Dear Mel, thanks for making such kind of wonderful discussions and asking all the interesting questions. I love them. ❤
This is just brilliant!!!! So many takeaways!!!❤
You're right
Ms. Mel, since I first heard you, I liked you because you seem so normal. Like if you can relate to what you talk about. You always seem sincere and transparent. And it’s amazing the way you admit that you need to learn different topic or better yourself just like the rest of us that listen to you and Jefferson. My God continue to guide you and blessings to your family❤
Two idols in one video. Love ittt
This episode changed my conversation life! Thank you for this Mel and Jefferson. My wife, kids, friends and even strangers will get the best version of me. 🙏🏽🤙🏽
Listening to what someone is really saying in their words is an art and has been around for ages. It’s not new.
What comes out of a person’s mouth absolutely reflects who they are…as well as the vibe that they put out, and both are not always in sync , so inauthenticity is present.
Communication is a package deal…and not just one element.
What is sent out (spoken) and what is received (heard) mismatch many times. It’s getting these two parts to match is the goal…the mission.
Curiosity is key to understand. ❤
Apologies have to be genuine with words and feel/vibe. Most folks ramble out a quick apology without any sincerity.
I agree with many points mentioned and semi agree with a few others. 😊
As an Empath, everything needs to be real and authentic which comes from within…so please don’t try to be something you are not. Don’t “try” be this or that in a meeting, in a conversation discussion, etc. Always be You. If it doesn’t flow naturally, then leave it alone. I can sense inauthenticity a mile away.
Interesting discussion…thank you. 🎉
I like his name Jefferson. 😊
I agree it is not new. It just needs to be repeated as often as possible. As per the comments. Or it may have been their aha moment.
I will say, this is one of my very favorite podcast. I listen to it on my drive into work and used the information all day today.And wow, what a difference it made!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mel. And thank you jefferson, for this amazing program!!❤❤❤❤
Play, possibly the best interview I have ever felt. Thank you so much! Also, thank you to the community for all of these positive comments… Helps to keep learning and feel the power of an expensive community. Now going to stalk Jefferson.
Hats off to Jefferson's father for instilling this amazing mindset in his son. And hats off to Jefferson for taking this baton and happily handing it off to us listening.
This is a Blessed moment for me, thank you.
❤
Georgi
🇵🇬 from Papua New Guinea
12:47 jump right in! Cold plunge! I love it!
This was the best conversation I have listened to in ages!! And it was exactly what I’ve been searching for. I’m about to get a promotion at work and have been very worried about how to deal with colleagues who will suddenly have to see me as their boss! Now I have tools to work on how I can communicate with them. I am by nature a kind and empathetic person, but often colleagues take advantage of that and belittle me, or patronise me. Now I know how I can cope with this in the future. Thank you so so so much Mel and Gefferson! This podcast I know will change my life! ❤
Jefferson is the best! He should run for president
This is gold- one of the best podcast interviews I’ve ever seen/heard. Thank you for preparing, Mel, by coming with great questions and situations to talk about. And thank you Jefferson for sharing your wisdom 🙌
Hi mel im godfrey ny 40 mid, introvert, temp. Listen i have an interesting experience, even though, I am just as good as a Lerner schooling like any others I can learn choose to learn from, I make a dedication on what I learn here. If hope I'm not far behind following your podcast.. thank you mel..
I have known Mel for few years already and I do really appreciate her and I recently found out about Jefferson. This is second conversation with him that I am listening first was with Lewis Howes and I have to say I really enjoyed both of them and every second was worth it and we all have a lot learn if we are open minded and humble enough to accept that we don’t know everything. Great Respect for both of them very kind and loving conversation 👏🏼
This is the kind of information our kids need to be learning in school
❣️❣️
Dear Mel its your all abilities where you are recognizing the real abilities and of anyone's abilities and we are learning these all abilities which are making us more confident.we love all Mentors and their encouragement specially LinkedIn team and Mentors.
Jefferson’s facial expressions also make his words more effective. He shows relaxation, non-combative.
What smart, kind, empathetic people! And they both have voices like honey. 😊
Fantastic! 😍 as always I love both Mel and Jefferson! You guys are a power team 🎉
I appreciate the part where you show that you are also
Human, make mistakes and apologize for your actions. I really appreciate this types of podcast and conversations, I appreciate and respect humans that are not perfect who know they are not and they are willing to keep learning and improving themselves, also open to hear and learn from others.
One of the most substantive conversations I’ve listened to in a long time. Thank you for creating one of the most thought provoking and valuable podcasts ever!
He speaks pretty slowly and that helps me to understand crearly, bacause English is not my native language. I learn a lot with him.
I think you can invite Jefferson more, he is the guy who made my day.
This guy is a freaking genius and I'm only 20 minutes into this podcast episode and I already feel significantly more intelligent and I feel that I could articulate myself much better... Hopefully it's not just inflated, false confidence 😂
Jefferson for President. Thanks Mel!
Hi Mel, glad you finally talked with Jefferson. I've been listening to him for quite a while and he is very insightful with dealing with toxic people. His advice in handling difficult conversations that are often confrontational has been so amazingly helpful.