New BBC guidelines have shrunk the end credits to a matchbox and put trailers for their other crap shows on the end too. Charlie Brooker doesn't like it... "Crushed by the clunking dead fist of marketing" indeed.
Mykola Pawluk used to make everyone laugh in the edit suite and Ken Morse sounded like a big company but he used to answer the phone every time we called his office, it was just him and a business mate.
Back in the early days of ITV credit squeezes, they had the credits at the side with a background at the centre stage so they can squeeze the background instead.
I know a channel which does this: -3 minutes before the end, they show you what is next. -If the current thing is a TV-show, they squeeze the credits and show three programs that come next. In a case of a movie, same thing and then they cut the credits abruptly. -One ad. -Station ident and they show those same three programs that are up next, even they did the same thing something like 40 seconds ago. -Then the next program starts. -They immediately have the balls to remind you about what you are watching, when the programs has run for about 2 seconds. I've never watched a lot of TV (I use it mainly to DVD's & games) but this certainly makes me stay away from TV programs. And I take credit watching seriously.
The worst I ever saw was either ITV1 or Channel 4, the continuity announcer decided that it'd be a great idea to talk over a quiet moment near the end of the film, it hadn't even reached the credits when they started advertising.
(continued) At least now in America we have retro channels such as MeTV that make a point of showing the closing credits intact as they should be. I personally like credits because if you think you see a familiar face or hear a familiar voice on a really old show, you can look in the credits and go "Hey, that really was Burt Reynolds!" (for just one example). You can't do that with new shows. You can try IMDb or Wikipedia but they're not always reliable.
I always used to think I was the only one who wondered who the omnipotent Ken Morse was. Also, anyone remember on Whose Line is it Anyway? when Greg Proops heckled the end credits: "Hey Mykola Pawluk, buy some vowels!"
The BBC decided to take this to a whole new level with Graham Norton parading around the screen DURING the climax of Doctor Who. I'm sure Moffat is screaming at someone down the phone right now.
Funnily enough, Charlie complained about this as well. And yeah, you probably forgot about ever making this comment 13 years ago but at least I was here to remind you of it. th-cam.com/video/AXUtQGZgVlQ/w-d-xo.html
By far the most common usage for Rostrum cameras was for the display of still photographs in documentries. You know those bits where you'd see a photo of someone and it'd slowly zoom in. It's basically a camera pointing down from above at a table. And you seemingly had to be called Ken Morse to be able to use one.
I always enjoyed singing along to the end credits of Fools and Horses. Got some Trevor Francis track suits, from a mush in Shepard's Bush BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH
The first time I saw this I thought "A history of corners" was a real programme, and I didn't even realise it was a joke until Charlie Brooker came on. Oops
Wow. This guy really makes a point! Why can't we go back to the days when credit gags and noncommercialism were accepted and embra----Watch the Season 256 premiere of Glee this Wednesday on FOX. That's right. We smash ads into personal comments now!!-----anks to random exec accusations of "nostalgia goggles", that dream will never become a reality again. :(
The credits are the best bit of the programme, because it acknowledges the output and input of all the people involved in that programme, and as this person said, it improves the aesthetics of the programme. To use a similar analogy to one used in this video, you wouldn't read a book that had the covers ripped off of them, so why would you watch a programme with no opening and closing credits? If some people hate the credits or find them boring, by all means change the channel, but do not let...
Nice one... I was just thinking the same. It's in my collection, but that's like trying to find a book in a library when you don't have a clue where to start!!
I've been annoyed with this credit squeezing practice that TV channels do since I was 8 or 9 years old. Back then, after I watched an episode of Thomas & Friends on CiTV, I felt very annoyed and somewhat upset when it's end credits to the programme were squeezed and it's audio muted so CiTV could play their silly promo over it, and to make things worse, it was longer than the end credits too. That's how the frustration all began back then for me.
Brilliant! I agree with everything he said. I like the credits, and it annoys me a lot when they get talked over and shrunk. It's the same with those annoying graphics advertising the next show, they appear in the middle of the show and have on occasion blocked out subtitles etc. It should be illegal to mess with a TV show or film. If I was a TV production company I'd have them sign a contract saying that to show it they can't touch it in any way.
lol me too I remembered his name from Whose Line is it Anyway where they play the "read out the credits in a certain style" game. Which also would never make it in today's age of credit-squeezing. I'm only 27 but I now feel old :(
Remember, some shows "fixed" that by doing away with theme songs. And we're the industry model Brit TV is pushing for now...I weep for the death of the spirit that implies.
Not everyday now you hear someone say "the good old days" sincerely, but it is true. It's the same in America, if not worse. Any station that's not squeezing credits for promos will be squeezing it for the (shortened for syndication) titles of the next show... the next show usually being the same one (such as American Dad on TBS). I think the only current show that still gets to keep its credits intact is The Simpsons and that's because they have so much pull at FOX.
Hello, I’m Charlie Brooker, and you’re watching Screenwipe, the program all about television, and that’s all we have time for this week, so bye! What the heck! Lemmy, I shouldn’t have let you work at BBC Four.
You can tell it's fake because she said "Barry Shitpeas". Great name and I'm sure it's a fake name too. It sounds too good, you know. Notice at the end how when Charlie's kicking that man around, there's nothing in the corner yet a few seconds later, a satellite dish pops up there. Well, a shadow of it.
I hate it when I want to see the credits of a film to see who was in it and they use credit squeeze to advertise something with a two-word title. No damn excuse.
Ahhhmen, Charlie! It's especially annoying when there's actually *stuff of interest* in the ending credits, like what's going on behind them, or 'joke' credits that are impossible to see because of the squeeze--not so common in regular shows, but more so on movies that get the same squeeze.
Anyone know what the tune is from the "history of corners" intro? Screenwipe's given me a genuine interest in classical music amongst other more cynical values...
You British viewers are lucky compared to here in U.S. We usually don't even get to see even 1 second of a programs closing credits before they squeeze and mute them to advertise shows that they already advertised during the commercial's over and over. Its awful! When I even get to hear 2 notes of a programs end theme. I always Imagine that some poor person working at the network is about to lose their job. Head of network: "I just heard and saw 3 whole seconds of the credits, you are fired!"
I'm trying to find a piece of music similar to that in Coren's Corners section (Perpetuum mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra). It's another one of those tunes you're likely to hear on BBC4 documentaries, but I can't for the life of me find it anywhere. Any suggestions on what it could be?
I'm just wondering if she's stilled called Coren or not, due to never having seen her refereed to as a Mitchell in the comments (new comments not old ones).
I can't think of many other businesses (other than film) where they feel entitled to use your time to tell you about everyone who has helped to provide you with the good or service you've just received. Egotistical wot-nots. Commenter : Chaos Corner Catering : Chaos Corner's Wife Wardrobe : Amazon Internet provider : Comcast Computer : Samsung Networking : Asus Editing : Chaos Corner Credits : Chaos Corner Lighting : General Electric Soundtrack : Rick Astley All characters represented in this thread are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Nothing annoyed me more than with the recent series of Torchwood with its brilliant cliffhangers, and some twat talked over it as soon as the end credits rolled. I was like 'Ianto just died you bellend give him a few minutes at least!'
Dude! Why are all the clever literate people coming out of the woodwork here, where it doesn't matter? Where have you BEEN while I lost my sanity to the rabid all-caps hordes of the youtube userbase, breaking my skull against the wall of their stupidity?!
...those who do enjoy the credits become frustrated. Also, nowardays, it seems that with some show's storylines being nothing short of dismal and pathetic, the closing credits are far more appealing than the actual show. Having said all this, the BBC are not actually as bad as ITV, since the BBC still retain the actuall credits (even if they do push them into the corner of the screen), but ITV scrap the credits for promos and adverts -- EXACTLY like American television, only done more cheaply...
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 82 วันนี้!! คู่เอก | ยอดไอคิว vs อับดัลลาห์](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hSsyTl_9bqs/mqdefault.jpg)
The air quotes when Victoria says "rapped" are what make it a comedy gold moment.
Hey, I wanted to hear more about the first ever corner to exist
Well I don't! It's the most boring programme ever!
Worth noting that it's only the BBC who would let a presenter get away with shitting on their own guidelines.
That’s why Jeremy Paxman still presents Newsnight.
Mykola Pawluk used to make everyone laugh in the edit suite and Ken Morse sounded like a big company but he used to answer the phone every time we called his office, it was just him and a business mate.
Back in the early days of ITV credit squeezes, they had the credits at the side with a background at the centre stage so they can squeeze the background instead.
I love the use of penguin cafe orchestra as incidental background music. It's one of the most shockingly overused pieces in television
Alongside Clubbed to Death by Rob Dougan and Fix You by Coldplay.
I know a channel which does this:
-3 minutes before the end, they show you what is next.
-If the current thing is a TV-show, they squeeze the credits and show three programs that come next. In a case of a movie, same thing and then they cut the credits abruptly.
-One ad.
-Station ident and they show those same three programs that are up next, even they did the same thing something like 40 seconds ago.
-Then the next program starts.
-They immediately have the balls to remind you about what you are watching, when the programs has run for about 2 seconds.
I've never watched a lot of TV (I use it mainly to DVD's & games) but this certainly makes me stay away from TV programs. And I take credit watching seriously.
I thought Victoria's "History of Corners" was a real show xD
"that was Wuthering Heights, up next Harry Potter followed By Cormac McCarthy's "The Road." that's a pretty eclectic evening's reading right there.
The worst I ever saw was either ITV1 or Channel 4, the continuity announcer decided that it'd be a great idea to talk over a quiet moment near the end of the film, it hadn't even reached the credits when they started advertising.
Anyone noticed the words in the pic at 0:14? You can see "BUM", "POO", "PISS", "FART" and "WANK" xD
If you actually look at the BBC One and Three logos during that bit the BBC logo says BUM instead.
(continued) At least now in America we have retro channels such as MeTV that make a point of showing the closing credits intact as they should be. I personally like credits because if you think you see a familiar face or hear a familiar voice on a really old show, you can look in the credits and go "Hey, that really was Burt Reynolds!" (for just one example). You can't do that with new shows. You can try IMDb or Wikipedia but they're not always reliable.
Omg, I'd be shitscared if Charlie started a fight with me. Look at the aggression at the end! xD
"sick on a widow" - Im suprised channel 5 havent snapped that up
We need the credits to Bottom at the end of every tv show. If you watched two men beat one another up, you'd sit there until the end of time.
I always used to think I was the only one who wondered who the omnipotent Ken Morse was.
Also, anyone remember on Whose Line is it Anyway? when Greg Proops heckled the end credits: "Hey Mykola Pawluk, buy some vowels!"
The BBC decided to take this to a whole new level with Graham Norton parading around the screen DURING the climax of Doctor Who.
I'm sure Moffat is screaming at someone down the phone right now.
Funnily enough, Charlie complained about this as well. And yeah, you probably forgot about ever making this comment 13 years ago but at least I was here to remind you of it. th-cam.com/video/AXUtQGZgVlQ/w-d-xo.html
By far the most common usage for Rostrum cameras was for the display of still photographs in documentries. You know those bits where you'd see a photo of someone and it'd slowly zoom in. It's basically a camera pointing down from above at a table. And you seemingly had to be called Ken Morse to be able to use one.
sick on a widow sounds like the greatest and most alarming show there ever could be.
I always enjoyed singing along to the end credits of Fools and Horses.
Got some Trevor Francis track suits, from a mush in Shepard's Bush BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH
The first time I saw this I thought "A history of corners" was a real programme, and I didn't even realise it was a joke until Charlie Brooker came on. Oops
Wow. This guy really makes a point! Why can't we go back to the days when credit gags and noncommercialism were accepted and embra----Watch the Season 256 premiere of Glee this Wednesday on FOX. That's right. We smash ads into personal comments now!!-----anks to random exec accusations of "nostalgia goggles", that dream will never become a reality again. :(
He might have a point, I know lets do a credits channel on sky
The credits are the best bit of the programme, because it acknowledges the output and input of all the people involved in that programme, and as this person said, it improves the aesthetics of the programme. To use a similar analogy to one used in this video, you wouldn't read a book that had the covers ripped off of them, so why would you watch a programme with no opening and closing credits? If some people hate the credits or find them boring, by all means change the channel, but do not let...
The credits are the best bit? Haha wow
Many thanks, it had been bugging me for ages!
Nice one... I was just thinking the same. It's in my collection, but that's like trying to find a book in a library when you don't have a clue where to start!!
we need a show this self aware today
This is very 2000s
I've been annoyed with this credit squeezing practice that TV channels do since I was 8 or 9 years old. Back then, after I watched an episode of Thomas & Friends on CiTV, I felt very annoyed and somewhat upset when it's end credits to the programme were squeezed and it's audio muted so CiTV could play their silly promo over it, and to make things worse, it was longer than the end credits too. That's how the frustration all began back then for me.
I would totally watch that A History of Corners with Victoria Coren programme
That noise at the start - the one accompanying the static - I recognise that from The Kevin Bishop Show.
KNIGH7 I honestly thought I was the only human being who still remembers that fucking show, I’ve been trying to find the pilot for months lmao
Yeah, hooray for fucking corners - go on, piss off!
LOL
ahh, just like tv go home
the gossamer kiss of internet nostalgia, i think i'm nursing a semi just thinking about it
The first corner in the world? Wow!
@TheKaranovic It's 45:33 by LCD Soundsystem. Also turns up in Gameswipe, if I remember correctly.
Many thanks for the suggestion but unfortunately that's not the one. Bah, I'll keep searching...
Adverts make me change channel more than the credits.
Brilliant! I agree with everything he said. I like the credits, and it annoys me a lot when they get talked over and shrunk. It's the same with those annoying graphics advertising the next show, they appear in the middle of the show and have on occasion blocked out subtitles etc.
It should be illegal to mess with a TV show or film. If I was a TV production company I'd have them sign a contract saying that to show it they can't touch it in any way.
The greatest opening of a show ever, welcome... bye!
the marketing fella's pretty fit without the specs.
Anyone else think Charlie Brooker kinda looks like David Lynch?
Nope
lol me too I remembered his name from Whose Line is it Anyway where they play the "read out the credits in a certain style" game. Which also would never make it in today's age of credit-squeezing. I'm only 27 but I now feel old :(
What about now huh
OMG I AGREE SO MUCH IT HURTS
I mean ah... yeah.
Charlie looks bloody scary with glasses on.
Hahaha the ending is fucking genius
Remember, some shows "fixed" that by doing away with theme songs. And we're the industry model Brit TV is pushing for now...I weep for the death of the spirit that implies.
Happy to say that on at least SOME American shows the trend has reversed. Shows that have a little extra in the credits get to show them.
The ironic thing about the credit squeeze is that I'm far MORE likely to turn it off when that interrupting crap starts.
Not everyday now you hear someone say "the good old days" sincerely, but it is true. It's the same in America, if not worse. Any station that's not squeezing credits for promos will be squeezing it for the (shortened for syndication) titles of the next show... the next show usually being the same one (such as American Dad on TBS). I think the only current show that still gets to keep its credits intact is The Simpsons and that's because they have so much pull at FOX.
I've searched high and low and still nothing, unfortunately.
i fancy victoria coren
Hello, I’m Charlie Brooker, and you’re watching Screenwipe, the program all about television, and that’s all we have time for this week, so bye!
What the heck!
Lemmy, I shouldn’t have let you work at BBC Four.
I can think of about 5 people where I work I would like to do that to. (talking about the end)
he is one angry dude!
@johnson9dantheman But that voiceover is exactly what he's ranting about. things interrupting breathing space to say what's up next.
Thing is hes so right!
wtf I wanted to hear about the corners charlie
A string of comments from two people without needless swearing/flame baiting etc. On TH-cam! Never seen it before.
You can tell it's fake because she said "Barry Shitpeas". Great name and I'm sure it's a fake name too. It sounds too good, you know.
Notice at the end how when Charlie's kicking that man around, there's nothing in the corner yet a few seconds later, a satellite dish pops up there. Well, a shadow of it.
I hate it when I want to see the credits of a film to see who was in it and they use credit squeeze to advertise something with a two-word title. No damn excuse.
@JPearson1987 same here, but the credit squeezing makes me switch off :P
'Façades' by Philip Glass?
Cormac McArthy! Whoo-hoo!
haha i love vicky coren/charlie brooker
Ahhhmen, Charlie! It's especially annoying when there's actually *stuff of interest* in the ending credits, like what's going on behind them, or 'joke' credits that are impossible to see because of the squeeze--not so common in regular shows, but more so on movies that get the same squeeze.
Oh dear...
Anyone know what the tune is from the "history of corners" intro? Screenwipe's given me a genuine interest in classical music amongst other more cynical values...
You British viewers are lucky compared to here in U.S. We usually don't even get to see even 1 second of a programs closing credits before they squeeze and mute them to advertise shows that they already advertised during the commercial's over and over. Its awful! When I even get to hear 2 notes of a programs end theme. I always Imagine that some poor person working at the network is about to lose their job. Head of network: "I just heard and saw 3 whole seconds of the credits, you are fired!"
Victoria is FIT
You know, you can't help but agree with him! The credit squeeze is awful!
I'm trying to find a piece of music similar to that in Coren's Corners section (Perpetuum mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra). It's another one of those tunes you're likely to hear on BBC4 documentaries, but I can't for the life of me find it anywhere. Any suggestions on what it could be?
I'm just wondering if she's stilled called Coren or not, due to never having seen her refereed to as a Mitchell in the comments (new comments not old ones).
I can't think of many other businesses (other than film) where they feel entitled to use your time to tell you about everyone who has helped to provide you with the good or service you've just received. Egotistical wot-nots.
Commenter : Chaos Corner
Catering : Chaos Corner's Wife
Wardrobe : Amazon
Internet provider : Comcast
Computer : Samsung
Networking : Asus
Editing : Chaos Corner
Credits : Chaos Corner
Lighting : General Electric
Soundtrack : Rick Astley
All characters represented in this thread are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
0:10 is than konnie huq's voice??
skip to 4:22 to see a better version of The Apprentice.
@oscarelgy
perpetuum mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra
What is the music for the "History of Corners" segment called? I've always liked it but never remember the name?
The very last "fuck" isn't censored.
Nothing annoyed me more than with the recent series of Torchwood with its brilliant cliffhangers, and some twat talked over it as soon as the end credits rolled. I was like 'Ianto just died you bellend give him a few minutes at least!'
Brooker, he's nearly ok..but his ott style means..he isn't.
BARRY SHITPEAS
What? no end credits?
They only got married like 2 months back?
AM 180 BY GRANDADDY
whats that piano song called about a minute in?
...-- and ironically, channels like Sky One and Five are not as bad at this kind of disaster as ITV and the BBC.
Dude! Why are all the clever literate people coming out of the woodwork here, where it doesn't matter? Where have you BEEN while I lost my sanity to the rabid all-caps hordes of the youtube userbase, breaking my skull against the wall of their stupidity?!
Did she not take David's surname?
Any idea what the name of the track was?
what series is this?
...those who do enjoy the credits become frustrated. Also, nowardays, it seems that with some show's storylines being nothing short of dismal and pathetic, the closing credits are far more appealing than the actual show. Having said all this, the BBC are not actually as bad as ITV, since the BBC still retain the actuall credits (even if they do push them into the corner of the screen), but ITV scrap the credits for promos and adverts -- EXACTLY like American television, only done more cheaply...
Yeah, now I can see CONTENT, isn't that interesting?
oh, im viewer 37,000
@DynamicScherzo Perpetuum Mobile
I kind of agree with him, but Charlie Brooker does just moan about EVERYTHING doesn't he.
It's good old British loathing; if it exists you can guarantee Charlie has a problem with it (unless it's The Wire).
Old credits are better.