My Wife Spent $50,000 Behind My Back!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ส.ค. 2023
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There’s a difference between coming clean & getting caught. She got caught!
Yup, and then turned on the water works like a child to avoid accountability for her deceit.
King David didn't come clean. God can redeem any time.
@@xtheshredderxx5473 I’m not sure what you’re saying exactly, but until this woman owns it, there is no redemption. I’m guessing your god knows her true intentions? Humility would serve her well, and a grip on reality.
@@xtheshredderxx5473and David paid a great price for it.
She cried because she got caught, not because she felt bad.
Huge difference!
How people have 50k in credit card debt is mind-blowing to me.
Agree .. I had a $800 debt and freak out. I hate debt. It kills.
Drinking champagne on a beer budget! You don't even have to swipe and more just tap or way your phone like a wand.
@chaplainrandy577 it's the fact they are loaned so much
I have $5500 and it scares me (it's getting paid tho)
50k credit card debt with average interest rate at 20% , means 10k interest a year , insane ! so scary
She spent a ton of money, used her tears to weasel out of responsibility when caught, and now HE is going to go work more overtime to pay it off…
I think you forgot about the baby coming, so he has no choice.
@@dudeorduuude5211paternity test would save him quite some trouble
@@dudeorduuude5211 He should say to her, " Let's get a paternity test before the baby is born"!
Patriarchy to blame
She better start shopping at Victoria secrets only from now on while he works his ass off.
I feel for this guy. This happened to me 3 times with my ex wife. The first time was 35K. The second time was another 35K. The last time was over 100K. People spend money like this because they have an emotional issue. Once the trust is broken it is very difficult to fix it. Unfortunately we divorced. Life sucked for a while for me. I found Dave in 2016. Now I am on baby step #7 thanks to Dave Ramsey.
good job! god bless. Anyone can recover with a gazelle mindset.
I agree with this, spending disorders are very strongly correlated with emotional problems. People need help with this; if they have shame for their spending fear will lead them to dishonesty. We all need to look at spending and mental health more closely!
3 times? I would have shut the account down
WOW! 😮 You dug yourself out of 170K in credit card debt. I know that card with 100K on it had a ridiculous payment. I used to work in the industry.
Salute to you. 🥃
Get a prenup, any of the credit card debt incurred by your wife is hers.
My husband would NEVER forgive me for getting us into $50,000 of debt. We’d be divorcing.
And then he would inherit half the debt
I get your point as I warned my wife when she racked up 5k in cc debt. I was like you better fix it NOW! It worked n we're very happy.
@@paleo704 It wouldn’t matter. I lied.
Rightfully so.
That's why you're still married. You do him wrong and you know your life with him is over.
This poor man. He corrected himself at the beginning of the call... He said, "I... I mean WE were working to pay off debt." No, your original statement was correct. YOU were working to pay off debt. She was creating MORE debt. And lying about it. He's in shock, hasn't fully processed what happened.
Divorce. This is unacceptable
Betamale
Exactly, how the hell does one person rack up $50,000?!?! He was doing everything!
@@paleo704 Precisely, she played him like a violin.
He's unfortunately trying to be a good man. That usually just equates to being a sucker
Wow, I owe $1,765 in credit card debt and freaking out about it. I couldn't image owing 50k.
Well they're also TAKING HOME $120,000/yr.
Then freak out even more when you owe another $57k on top of that.
@@roadrunner9622 That's f all.
I know, I needed a procedure so now I owe 1k and am freaking out, I couldn’t breathe owing anyone this much
Same. I owe $7k in student loans and that is frustrating to me 😂
I would get a copy of every single purchase on that card. You have to be able to see what she did. This could point to other infidelities you're not prepared for.
She can be a shopaholic without cheating. I am one and used to buy myself clothes. Now I just shop for samaritan purse shoeboxes bc then the stuff goes back out the door in November.
Shopaholic and maybe cheating as well.
Why would she need to rack up credit card debt to have an affair?
@@montymython754 hotel rooms, dinners out, gifts, lots of ways to rack up debt. Especially since the husband said he didn't see any big ticket items coming into the house. $50k in debt and no major purchases? Sounds super shady
@@montymython754 gifts, hotels, dinners. You name it.
The guy needs to do a full accounting of the $50k. No chance that went all to baby supplies.
Agree. She's supporting some young hunk I bet.
That's not a bad idea. I would return whatever you can. that sounds rediculous for consumer spending.
It probably wasn’t all on baby supplies, this amount probably grew through the years. When you pay the minimal payment only and the card has a 20% interest rate……..the total grows like a weed. Compounded with you keep charging things on the card.
Yeah, its not like they don't have a decent income to buy what's needed. 50k in secret is insane. Need to look at the statements to see what was charged.
My ex opted to take $4k a month in cash advances on our HELOC instead of telling me his business wasn’t bringing in money. Childish, selfish, self-serving, and narcissistic behavior. No ethics, no morals, no character. Then he walked away leaving me to take care of everything. Some people just never grow up.
I have had two babies, and 50K is wayyyyy more than I spent on "baby stuff" for both of them combined. This woman has been ridiculous and Dave is right, there is NO excuse. This is simply a mentality of "I'm pregnant so I can do whatever I want."
I bet there's more to the story. Paternity test at a minimum.
If she felt she could do whatever she wanted then why bother hiding it. Just tell the guy you want this random stuff more than you want a good financial situation. Ironically, by hiding it, it shows 1. that she knows it's wrong 2. some tiny bit of respect for his opinion of her
Don't fall for the "I'm a PREGNANT "woman" crap....that was softens the situation to try to give her leeway....she very likely did NOT run up 50k over the last few months....."the baby" just gives her cover for whatever else ( and perhaps WHOEVER else) she was doing
I'm expecting baby 5 in 3 months and haven't spent that much on the first 4 combined.
@@ericstewart517 I don't know how spending more money equals cheating. I suspect it rather shows an addiction, like a shopping addiction.
I worked with a woman and her husband found out she had forged his name and got a second mortgage on the house. He paid his final payment on the first mortgage and was expecting to get the title…. It didn’t come. His wife had spent six figures of their house over ten years. His original plan was that him and his wife were going to retire at 65 down at a lake house 2 hours away from the city. They moved there and she went to work at the front desk of a golf course paying off the house. That job is paying $17 an hour, when she was in the city she was making $90k a year as a broker. I stopped by their house a few years back and she was still working. She enslaved herself and her husband didn’t bail her out.
I wouldn’t bail her out either. My mom did the same thing to my dad, but on car loans. He didn’t bail her out. He told her to pay it off. She actually did. The only responsible thing she ever did in her life, because he didn’t coddle her, for once.
He stayed married to her? He enslaved himself too.
good for him!
She deserves it.
She committed fraud.
This woman is DANGEROUS!!! He needs to RUN and make sure that kid is his. What a disgusting thing she has done. Absolutely unacceptable. I have 3 kids and there is NO WAY she spent even half of that on a kid that isn’t even born yet. She is NUTS and so is he if he doesn’t haul a$$ from this walking red flag.
I wouldnt divorce my wife but I will make sure she pays for it ...The bills are hers so she pays for it herself...SOmeone people will divorce but I think thats a little to excessive
@@Experience1945 honestly, that type of decision making is how people look up 20yrs later with zero retirement and a lot of shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Her mentality and willingness to be deceitful is a huge deal and should not be taken lightly. It goes far beyond just money with people like her. She is a danger and should not be trusted. You don’t handle people like her with kid gloves or they will continue to run over you.
@@whosaidthat9265
Couldn’t agree more! 💯
Appreciate your thought. Pretty much agree. Very dangerous.
There is a reason she did this no excuses and I think there is way more to this than he is telling us.
He found out, then the water works came out. She only apologized because she was caught. If you were not so kind she would have stopped crying and started yelling at you.
Dave is right, she is a deceiver. There is a lot to work through.
Must be one hot wife I gather.
Good luck trying to change someone like that. 50K going on for a long time. No hope if you ask me.
When h said she started crying I understood he is fkced. Crying shows she gives zero fcks, it's emotional manipulation at this point.
Lol your not gonna change someone like that.. She knew what she was doing for months and months..she's a pos. Divorce. Shoulda never got married anyway.. Still don't understand that men in this day and age get married and have kids. You wanna live paycheck to paycheck, have zero free time, high stress levels, forced overtime, annoying wife, etc.. Then the kid and be on lock for 18+ years..
@@user-fn9cs4dv8r
🎯🎯🎯
She deceived him and trapped him. This is only the beginning of this guy's misery
😮
Oh good grief. It's not that dramatic
@@marikiemarie7622so if a man fucks other women it’s not a that big of a deal.
Spending days weeks and months pathologically lying and planning things behind somebodies back isn’t a big of a deal?! Yea sure
The HELL it is!😮
He needs to get itemized copies of all her purchases and add them up to make sure they add up to $50K and then return the purchases if there is still time. Sounds like she has a shopping addiction, perhaps even a gambling addiction. Then go to counseling. Do a paternity test too.
Ooof! Heavy but true and good advice!
Uuuu you went deep. Paternity test. Wow but you have a valid point.
While he was eating left overs for lunch and staying home, she was having lobster and hanging out. Unfortunately, you can't return food, cocktails and trips to the spa.
Thats the first thing I told my wife, he needs a test.
Get on the Maury show for some pay at least... Results are in: You are NOT THE FATHER!
IMO this is instant divorce levels of infidelity. Racking up that much high interest debt can literally destroy an entire future for a family. Like Dave said, it’s the same as if it was cheating. Either way, that level of betrayal warrants divorce.
Lesson learned: be extremely careful with who you decide to marry
True story: Scout mom with two kids under 16 married a wonderful guy. He immediately took control of their finances, including investing her $20,000.00 rainy day fund. Three months into the marriage they found out she was pregnant; a week or two after that she discovered that their finances had crashed. When she confronted him, he confessed that he was a casino gambler in debt. She told him to leave. He was an elder at his church and he made a crying confession before the congregation. He deceived her and married her under false pretenses (he may have been after an income stream to pay off his gambling debts). It messed up her relationship with her kids, and the church is piling on guilt for her to submit to her husband and take him back. It was easy for my friend and I to encourage her that considering divorce was not a bad thing (we are believers), for her it is an awful situation to be in. 😧
It's not enough to ruin their financial future. If it continues, it is. It's not that much money.
Digging yourself out of 50K in credit card debt is EXTREMELY difficult, especially with an interest rate of 20%+. It’s not something to take lightly.
Got more to think about with a baby coming now. Can't just nuke it.
@@goforbroke2 I agree it is difficult. At the end of 2017 I had $55,000 in credit card debit. At that time I made a plan to pay it off and paid it off completely by early 2021. It's not easy but can be done with commitment to the process and perseverance. I definitely did not take it lightly.
Get a paternity test. She's probably been doing this in the light of a near divorce 😢
Correct, that money is going somewhere and who knows what else she's been doing. Getting a paternity test is a must for him. She can't be trusted.
Paternity tests should be mandatory regardless of marital status!
man.. you got it.. probably the child is not his..awfully crude way to realize it.
@@Gypsy2057the money was going to support Chad, the child’s real dad ….. he needs to maintain an expensive lifestyle to seed up such women
Financial infidelity is just as worst as sexual infidelity
This is true. Financial infidelity can mean the difference between having a home and living in the streets.
It can literally change your entire future
In some ways it's worse, because of the guaranteed financial collateral damage that comes with.
I agree. I don't even buy clothes for the kids without telling my husband. I laughed at him because he told me he was going to buy another pair of sneakers, and this lady racked up 50K in debt behind his back? How can they rebuild trust after this, I don't know.
Not to me. Both are bad but sexual infidelity brings a 3rd person into the marriage in a very intimate way. I could forgive the financial infidelity if it is worked through but I would never forgive the other. But that's just me.
WOW! This guy needs to have a paternity test done. If the child is not his, get a divorce, let her have that $50K debt, and run for the hills. If the child is his, look into getting a good divorce attorney, and still follow the Baby Steps to protect your child's financial future from the mother.
I have to say my husband is beyond blessed to have a wife like me. 😊
Girl same! Going to send this to my husband 😂
Same lol, I’m the frugal one.
Love the unabashed championing of ourselves
Nothing like thinking highly of yourself.
😂😂😂😂😂
This is why that happy wife happy wife BS needs be ridden. A responsible and truthful wife should bring happiness. And he definitely needs to get a paternity test 🙅
YESS!!!!!
My mom used to hide clothes, etc. from my Dad, worked up tens of thousands in credit card debt.
She was handling the finances.
My wife and I discuss everything.
I'm an Engineer so I work the budget but communication is key. If my wife did this I would be completely shocked and devastated.
The only way this can happen to you is if you are entirely uninvolved in your household finance or your wife is an absolute lying psychopath. If you stay involved it can't really occur.
The fact that you watched your mom do that and still signed a contract that incentivizes the other party to break it is beyond amazing to me...
My wife is a doctor and I still work the budget lol I can't even get my wife to look at the app to see the checking account so I always have to tell her what's in it.
@andrew8168 , your argument is because a bad thing happened to someone it is completely unavoidable? Do you ever leave your house?
I have a buddy who was mugged. I still go into the city.
I have a sister who was hit by a car crossing the road. I still cross the road.
I have a buddy who was killed by a drunk driver in a head on collision. I still drive my own car.
The solution is not to be afraid to get married. The solution is to find the right person, work together as a team, and in all the other cases pay attention to what is going on.
@@zachjones2346same here. It's kind of nice to have someone completely trust you but sometimes I think to myself how easy it'll be to financially devastate her if I was evil
She trapped him with the baby. I can’t be the only one that sees this. I don’t like how Dave tried to get him to take responsibility for her bad spending habits. I feel for this man, counseling will not help their relationship. I hope he has a good support system, he’s going to need it.
Well if they got a divorce and he was the sole breadwinner the court would make him responsible for that debt anyway through alimony.
Clear as day. And as for the 'advice' gynocentrism is strong with these celebrity christians.
@@Ricman7810:07
How could anyone not notice $50,000 worth of stuff unless it's fine jewelry tucked away in a drawer? That's the point!
It takes some people decades to pay off 50k.
This was my ex-wife all while fighting to control the household finances and then argue point of filing bankruptcy. I had gotten us out of debt and we married debt-free. We built a new house with $15K left in the bank. All while she was taking out credit in my name, spoiling her family and eating out everyday while feeding me Hamburger Helper. I refused to file bankruptcy. Then pile on infidelity. She refused counseling. Then turned up pregnant not sure who the father was. I could not trust her with another 10 years of my life. I have not and do not expect to marry again. I'm done with girlfriends. Celibate 5 years and counting. I serve the Kingdom of God. Matthew 19:11
nothing wrong with that. You should be making plenty of money and getting ready for retirement
@@tam6011 Got through a mountain of debt and enjoying early frugal retirement.
Sounds like you are finding the wrong type of women.
Exactly brother
Hopefully you got a DNA test before signing any papers
Bullsh*t she doesn’t feel bad. She’s upset because she got caught. Yeah dude go work all the OT and you know what she is going to throw in your face? “You’re never home for me and the baby”……she’s got to go. Get a paternity test and if you managed to dodge a bullet. Take a breath, go away and cry about the hurt and most importantly LEAVE. If that child is not yours you absolutely need to go.
Right! Then she starts crying…typical!
My wife always used an excuse that her mom gave her the money. Yet she racked up a 5k credit card bill and, sorry, but I put my foot down and took charge. We argued but guess what ... we eliminated that small debt quickly. A 50k deception!!! OMG !!!
I’m l
Yes I can’t give my husband a credit card. He racked up 3k in one month. He never checked the app never called the 1-800. I put my foot down and get only cash/debit. He says I treat him like a child but that’s how he acts when he gets a credit card.
@@2jcward It's the best tuff love one can give. For God sake it's avoiding a stressful debt lifestyle. I hope all is well on your part. Cheers.
@@2jcward
Thats just wild to me, I’ll never understand how people can just wrack up debt like its a game.
I’m sure you have explained this to him. If we have 100$ in our checking account, we cannot afford 150$ of whatever. XD
Its just common sense, or it should be.
She racked up to 50,000 let her pay for it
This isn’t $50,000 on baby stuff. There’s a lot more in there that he’s not deep diving into.
If I was that guy I'd have her do a paternity test and prepare myself to be surprised!
Agree 50k! She's supporting some younger guy I bet.
The question is..... his name Chad or Tyrone?
@@mikeb8342😂
This Marriage is doomed.
I wouldn’t be that sure about it. Doomed no. Very likely she got addicted to the fact that she got that “free money of use “ and have a problem of this kind. Maybe his wife is loving, kind and good woman who has a money spending problem. I wouldn’t be that critical even though the situation is bad and hard for a man to swallow.
@@user-hr4tq5hj4rvery likely that this marriage will end up in divorce,marriage like this don’t last long
No way he believes she spent 50k on baby clothes, he has to know some fishy stuff she doing
Yup. He didn't need three days before calling Dave to come to grips with financial infidelity.... he's been sweating over the possibility of carnal infidelity and whether that baby is his.
Nothing but Gucci diapers and socks
He said the baby stuff was only recent and that it was extra groceries, or so she told him that. I am sure she snuck tons of clothes in the house and has them hiding somewhere
Maybe like ALL the nursery stuff. Still how dud she rack up $50, 000, fly to Europe to buy stuff?
This happened to my buddy. His wife was spending money on Botox. They’re divorced now. She’s evil as she cheated on him too. Very sad. He now is with another woman who has 3 little kids. He’s now making another mistake and getting sucked dry. He’s a mess!!!
Dude! If he's your buddy, you gotta stop his insanity..... a freaking intervention!
That's why botox, lip injections, eyebrows, and other superficial BS are major red flags to me. It's like patterns on a venomous snake... RUN!
@@mikeb8342 I guess maybe he’s not my buddy after all?
Friends don’t let friends simp
@@mikeb8342 I’ve let him go as a friend.
12:43 "100% of addicts eventually have financial trouble". That spoke to me
I was the compulsive spender in my relationship but when I learned I spend because I seek comfort it immediately opened my eyes and I have been financially wonderful once I figured out my relationship with money. Most don’t know why they spend they just hear they need to stop but people should figure out there thinking/feelings about money.
I dont think he should trust his wife
Trust in God not mankind.
Ya think??
Dude is being cheated on - probably in more ways than one. 😔
Had John Balogna been on the call his first question would have been “why didn’t she feel safe telling you?” 🙄
😂😂😂 Facts. As a woman I find him so annoying
😂 true
My wife won’t watch if he’s on.
@@CurieBohrsame. John is just not smart
You all are acting like weenies. Haha, you are triggered!
She was crying because she got caught and was manipulating the guy. You can never trust this woman, ever. You forgive her, and she will see you as weak(er) and will become even worse because she knows you'll take it. Get rid of her.
Generally, if people are okay deceiving in one area, they are okay deceiving in other areas as well.
No way I could come to terms with the long term intentional deceit
Thank you for your wisdom Mr Ramsey. You described it right on when you said “breach of trust” in a financial situation.
This is also where it’s important to have his money, her money and shared money.
As a woman I want a divorce for you sir. That’s unacceptable.
You seem like a good women.
This exact thing happened to me too. Found the collections papers in the mail and confronted her. She broke down in tears and promised it would never happen again. Happened again a couple years later. Infidelity will follow too. This is not wife/partner material. Nothing good is going to come from this marriage. Let her go bro. You’ll be 10 times better off for it. Praying for you brother.
Tell her to get a job and pay it back herself.
Financial infidelity. Sadly, most in these situations throw it back at the responsible party and accuse them of being controlling and financially abusive.
Yup. I've heard women use that financial abuse when all the husband wanted was a Budget.
Yup next thing she plays the victim and tells her friends he's financially abusive and they tell her to talk to an attorney. He could lose everything yet.
@@Labbernese77 🎯
Not always, my husband committed financial infidelity after 2 years of marriage. He took full responsibility for what he did and never did it again. We are now happily married 33 years.
@@djpuplex that’s a two way street
investing requires good experience and knowledge to carry out a good and successful trade, I have lost a lot trying to trade all by myself May I ask which investments are good?......
I understand your concerns, my friend. I recommend exploring passive index fund investing and expanding your knowledge in this area. Personally, I experienced both successes and challenges when initially seeking a reliable passive income..
STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS, that's whom i work with look her,....
STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS
Thanks for these recommendations.....
This story is honestly just so sad. Especially if the child is actually the result of sexual infidelity as well. Her degree of deception doesn't make that hard to believe.
Dave Ramsey is potent medicine
I wouldn't work one extra hour to pay off that 50k debt
Nope. Keep spending into bankruptcy. Dave went bankrupt. It’s a great way to clean up a mess now. And she can’t spend on credit card when they’re all turned off
problem is he will pay a lot more than just the 50k if this goes to divorce. The courts will reward the wife with alimony, child support and his pension. Not to mention the debt she created
@@boston312 in the long run, divorce will save him money.
@@boston312 Actually if she "dissipated marital assets", that amount would be subtracted from her portion of their assets. Even in a no fault state.
@@martha7811depends on the judge..... Plenty of judges go rouge and just shaft the guy. You weren't aware that family and divorce courts are stacked against men?
🤣😂 she got a side man
I had the same thing with clients in my office. They we’re refinancing to finish renovations. I couldn’t qualify them because of her debt 80k on credit cards he didn’t know about. Turned out she had a big gambling problem and was floating it on credit cards. The most awkward part was trying to explain why without flat out saying what the problem was because she wouldn’t fess up and because of privacy rules I couldn’t just say why. So the look of confusion on his face while they sat across the desk was awful. She finally admitted what the problem was and I had to step out of the office while they screamed at each other for 15 minutes. The whole bank was looking at me like. What the heck is going on over there? I did give them the mortgage but everything went towards paying off her debt instead of the renovations.
Thats terrible
wow😮
WTF. She should have gotten another job to pay that off herself.
I hope CJ is in the comment section. Bro you need a paternity test.
This is highly concerning that She may also be cheating on you.
And she pulled the old start sobbing when found out routine too.
I'm not saying she's for sure cheating but the chances are higher by a good margin when you got a behavior like this that was found out.
Especially because she's not the one that came clean
She lied about this, who knows what else she's lying about. I'd get a DNA test and regardless of that outcome, I'd end this marriage. Pay the support and be there for your kid, but she's a proven liar and backstabber.
It's time to consider divorce in this situation.
Consider?! It’s an absolute must IMO. He’s fucked no matter what he does, it’s damage limitation from here on. He needs to get a good attorney ASAP. He’ll end up having to pay for half of her mess no matter what, but that beats paying for all of it.
@@matthewhook3375 Yeah I agree. I should have said must, but wasn't concerned with symantics.
Notice how they both refused to hold the woman accountable until they had all the facts. and instead told the man to spend MORE MONEY on a marriage counselor. If a man was financially irresponsible they would have pounced on him at the jump. They even blame him again for not knowing that she managed to spend 50k without knowing
Hey, that's why in the past, people gave expectant mother's a baby shower. That way she didn't have to buy the baby items herself. And another thing. My grandmother used to say, if you can't afford it, DO WITHOUT!
Run, Forrest, run!
Now this is a call for the Ramsey show. I completely agree 100% with Dave and Jade.
Dave and Jade have melted right into one another. I love to see it. ❤. Great job.
I’m so sorry to hear this, I feel for this guy. ❤
The baby is most likely not his ! Definitely get a dna test . Also if she’ll do this during a marriage , just imagine how a divorce will be . This is bad ! Leave her asap!
If she knows what she is doing, the baby absolutely is his.
She probably spent most that $50k on baby stuff that he never saw. Its at her bf house or in a storage unit.
She will wait till after birth, then become a monster to him till he snaps, then blame him for all the relationship problems, divorce him, take him for half of everything and then she will move on while he gets to clean up the mess, including most of the debt. He will be paying child support to her no matter what (unless he gets primary custody (yeah alrighty then), and most likely alimony as well.
Or, he nips it in the bud, and divorces her, still gets to pay alimony and child support but at least will keep his sanity. No matter what hes gonna get 🪛 but at least he can do it on his terms
Your reaching with your assumptions
That baby ain’t gonna look like him!
Baby going to be black. 😂😂
My ex emptied our bank account, used up the line of credit and maxed his credit card while I was in China, adopting our second child. He did that to avoid losing a UPS franchise he purchased. They made him bankrupt. Prior to going to China, he had manipulated me into taking loans for his franchise. I was out of $30K in debt and almost no money to survive and get us through until I went back to work, six months later. And unfortunately, the pattern kept repeating itself. I was hoping that his dream of becoming a successful businessman would materialize and that I would end up recuperating my money. Writing this is making realize that I was acting like someone addicted to gambling.
This episode hit home for me. My wife of 19 years passed away quickly after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2002. I discovered debt that I was unaware of but worse, I discovered many items that had been purchased that I had no knowledge of. Some were things like dozens of Time Life video tape series, a complete set of china, lots of new unworn clothes, tons of costume jewelry, watches, books, and so much more. This complicated the grieving process with anger. I have mostly recovered, speaking emotionally. I donated almost everything to charity. I retired, moved from CA to TX and became totally debt free including my home which I remain today. Your point about trust is spot on, it is as bad as infidelity.
Oh my god ...this is so bad instead of grieving u started hating dem.....of course u wont say hate but that's wat u feel at the end
@@marrykamei733 I love how you resort to name calling rather than deal with the actual facts. My late wife was a staunch republican. She was the president of the BelAir Republican Women's Federation.
My difficulty was that she concealed absurd purchases from me. If your spouse did that to you, would you call them a dem?
The betrayal of trust did interfere with my grieving process. Who would not have issue with that?
You are disgusting. You ignored the facts and tried to apply labels to me.
@@gbinman I read and reread what that person wrote and I think you took it the wrong way. My take- dem meant them. I don't think the op meant any harm. :) Sorry for all you had to go through with your late wife.
Do NOT stay with her. File for divorce immediately. Get a paternity test before signing the birth certificate. If the child is yours you need to go for full custody. If the child is NOT yours walk away and never look back. Forget her, love, whatever you thought your life was going to be with her and focus on YOU.
🎯 If he stays he’ll be like the guy earlier in comments who said is wife spent 35 grad, he stayed, she spent anther 35 grand, he stayed the she spent 100 grand. WTF
She's not telling him everything. "Oh, it was just baby stuff!" She's either got an addiction, a man on the side, or she's "helping" a family member.
Pull up all of the past CC statements. Find out where she spent the money.
Solid advice you two! Maranatha.
There are 2 things I think they missed during this call:
1- She is most likely cheating sexually as well as financially with this level of betrayal.
2- They did not hammer this guy hard enough about the fact that $50,000 worth of crap entered his home without him noticing. Especially if it's food and small ticket items, he should've been confused when he was eating steak and lobster on a beans and rice budget.
Yes, blame the victim!
@@robloxvids2233 Its true, Dr. Jordan Peterson says people always leave evidence, redflags and signs in relationships but the vast majority of people ignore them
@@robloxvids2233grow up. Victims have responsibility and things to learn too. He also clearly wasn't paying attention while on his paying off debt journey, tracking expenses, etc.
I agree. It is impossible to not notice $50k of new things. I think she’s cheating on him and that is where a lot of the money is going.
$50K over 6 months is definitely noticeable...a year not so much.
Now see…when a man tries to take control of his house mainly with finances..they call him a financial abuser. Let’s get things straight..women are the biggest consumers that’s why all marketing is targeted towards them.
I feel like the wife would blame this on the pregnancy but 50k?!? Come on. Jade was trying to say how did you not know. But people who are good at hiding and lying are skilled at these deceptions. This sucks for him.
She used the money for something else. Like maybe a vacation. Or maybe she has a double life with another man. No way baby stuff and food for years cost 50K. That money went somewhere else.
4:45 I love how she’s being nice and Dave just calls him out
WOW, both of you hosts are preaching to me...right on the nail!
Wow, this is troubling for their relationship. I had 8k on a credit card 💳 8 years ago. I could not sleep, and this guy said his wife charged 50k on a credit card. I would leave her for sneaky. They need counseling asap.
She needs to get a job and pay this off. If she has all that free time to shop, she should be working
Totally did that “prop up” stuff. Thx for talking about it.
Crying when she gets caught, of course... First thing a woman does is child bavahor to invoke sympathy. But she wasn't crying when she was spending! When a thief steals 50.000 euros from you, you don't go working overtime to make up the difference. She is on the hook for the whole amount and has to work it off! The only way to fully breed the guilt into her is to make her sweat it out at 20 dollars per hour. Only that way will to get back the trust, but seeing her work through it. If she refuses she can hit the pavement.
This man going to work overtime to pay off crap that wasn't even his or enjoys any of it. 50,000$, mamamiyah! Hard pass on this marriage, I would be out the door.
She’d be crying when she found out I sold something of hers everyday until caught.
I think that is called gaslighting, and while this guy is doing marriage counseling he should be 'secretly' talking to lawyers about divorce and a paternity test.
@@jrus690💯
All women do not behave this way. Being an adult means being responsible for yourself and to others in your life. If she is not working she probably should be however with a baby coming and him working overtime it might be hard to find child care.
The joys of having a joint account.
1 - get a paternity test
2- get a full credit report and find out all the cards etc, i am sure its more to it
3- prepare for divorce
Dont take daves religious bs advice
he gonna get financially screwed in a divorce. He never should have got married in the first place
@@boston312 like he is packing stacks as of now
Why not cut the tumor and pay once and for all
@@boston312he'll be more financially screwed if he stays with her.... AND miserable. Might as well rip the bandaid off.
Why are you watching a religious mans show 😂😂😂😂
@@DefiningDiane m watching a finance show , if u watch something u may or may not agree with his views
M not dave or any other xtian who cant live with disagreement or imposes their bs religion on others
He should honestly divorce her. 50k in credit card debt is beyond not ok. That can destroy someone for years.
Not grounds for divorce at all, unless your vows were something like "I promise to be your husband unless you cost too much money"
Dave why u telling this man to get counseling? This woman put him in 50k of debt! It’s time for a divorce! End of story!
Time to end it. She’s going to clean you out when she divorces your butt.
Wife needs to go sorry man
Get a DNA test and talk to a Lawyer about divorce..you cant trust her.
There's a baby on the way. How are you going to jump straight to a divorce? She's a Shopaholic that's all. She needs treatment
@@georgewagner7787no... we can't jump into conclusions, she's a pathological liar. I'm sure she's done other infidelitys. This dude needs to go further down the rabbit hole.
$50,000 is alot of money to purposely hide from your husband...he needs to do more investigation ..
@@georgewagner7787 But she was cruel to allow him to get that phone call from collections. In his innocence, he said there must be some mistake. A horrifying moment for him.
She knew damn well she’d be staying comfortably at home with the baby while he’s out busting his ass overtime cleaning up her selfish mess. I’m sorry but that’s pretty low pregnant or not and that fact that she never mentioned it to him!
She also knows he will be taking care of another man's child.
Gold digger
@@chaplainrandy777probably. She came clean about the $50K real quick after getting caught.... because she hoped to stop further investigation into WHAT (WHO?) she was spending that money on.
Who wants to bet she’ll be giving him shit for “never being here for me and the baby” while he’s busting his ass to clean up her mess. Poor guy chose a real wrong’un. He’s fucked. Completely.
So she gets caught and immediately goes to last line of defense, the water works. It’s like a movie script, they all do it. This guy needs a paternity test on that baby. If she’s willing to rack up $50k in credit card debt behind his back, just imagine what else she’s willing to do. And if he wasn’t aware of the credit card, who knows what kinds of activities she was using that card for.
Not all do it. I don’t - & I make 3 times the money my husband makes. I am more of a tight wad than he is too.💰
@@davisholman8149But, is there a difference? Does your spouse spend thousands and not tell you?
Salary difference aren't an issue ... spending and hiding it is.
My wife and I have talk about scenarios like this, mostly from seeing situations that we've seen in others' marriages. Quite an interesting topic when trying to apply it in your own marriage.
Take all credit cards away from her. Prepaid debit cards for household expenses. If she takes some out on her own they’re done.
My ex husband texted me at work one day that he wanted to buy a motorcycle. I texted back “Ok! We can come up with a budget and see what we can do! I’d love to get you a motorcycle, but we have kids and need to think of the smartest way to do this first.” A few hours later he texted back and said he bought it and sent a pic. One of the worst knives I ever felt in my back. Our finances were so messed up and we were barely scraping by because of his selfishness… a few years later nothing got better, he was still just as disrespectful and untrustworthy but it got so much worse and in other areas, not just the finances…. This is why he is now my “ex husband”.
Breaching trust through finances is pretty much the tell tale that they don’t have any respect for you in any other areas of your relationship either.
Chads and Tyrone’s don’t usually have jobs so she paid for the dates
😂🤣😂
Ask the wife how she would like to be a single mom….
Thank you uncle Dave for consistently reminding me to never get married 😊
Or a thing other people do.....
Marriage can be wonderful...but you need to VET, VET, VET, VET anyone you decide to date.....much less marry.
@@user-pw4lm8er8xbest comment on The internet. And truest.
@@dancalmpeaceful3903
🎯🎯🎯
@@dancalmpeaceful3903yuuuuuup
Dave handles women with baby gloves. He suggests they might need counseling??? Dude, this is instant divorce territory. God would not want one of his souls to tether themselves to a complete BEEEEEEP like this. Run, dude.
@robloxvids2233 I am a woman and I completely agree with you. There is no excuse for this and he should run. The trust is broken, as this is not $5,000....it's $50,000! (heck, even $5,000 would have been too much.) lol!
That’s a business decision imo
Dr John does the same thing. When it's a man acting up, he calls him a knucklehead. When it's a woman acting up, he says the husband should ask how he can love her better.
She buys baby stuff and groceries for the house while he's oblivious about everything. How is it divorce territory? He didn't say they had a budget to go by.
@@front331 He just found out, so he may not have been able to do a full audit of the purchases. If he does a full audit & a full credit report on her, there's a good chance that isn't the only secret she's hiding from him.
When she cried, it sounds like it was "I'm sorry you found out"
This is why it is too hard if you are taking care of another person, that’s why I am happy being single 😂
My ex used to like those credit cards. Toward the end of our marriage he was running up credit card bills entertaining his girlfriends and traveling with them. This caller's wife; I wonder what else she is lying about.
Bro you need to run!!!!!