How to stop letting things get to you
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ก.ค. 2024
- Don't let things get to you. It sounds easy, and it is, if you know how to work with your brain instead of against it when something is bothering you. Here we're going to talk about Mental Adaptability and how this simple practice will help you be more calm, less stressed, more easygoing and a lot more resilient.
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#resilience #stressmanagement #cbt
You don’t always have control over what happens to you, but you 100% have a say in how you move forward 💯
So true! We always have choices in our circumstances.
When the world goes to hell all you can do is burn
@@juliakristinamah i disagree. Especially for children. We only have control over our thoughts and perspectives.
So true, Nicole, You control your though so learn to be happy.
💯👍😀
Emotional resilience I can’t stress how important it is, took me a while to develop but once I got there, it was so worth it! ☺️
isn't it a whole different human experience when we learn to be mentally adaptable?
@@juliakristinamah It really is transformational in life, and gives time to worry about genuinely important things/issues we’re dealing with!
How did you achieve it?
@@juliakristinamah yes i think so
I struggle with negative family members , which makes it hard sometimes to be around them, because their family.
I feel you. Home can be really hard.
I completely agree. Family can be the most challenging. Sometimes you can’t live with them but it’s hard to live without them.
I have been working on navigating that lately. As hard as it is, the only way for me is to work on accepting/understanding family for who they are, and if the negativity is too much... I notice how I am affected, I breathe, and rather than react, I take care of myself/ not give away my power... so I may suddenly feel hungry or thirsty and I leave the situation to calm myself before it build-up :) It's a work in progress!
Next their ass. If you live with them, move!! And start limiting your time with them
You can still be on good terms with them and not mix and mingle with them: they really get to u even if u try hard not to let it get to u.
Whatever you resist persists
that is often very true!
how to do a somersault? Let the flow be? don't try to stop the flow? swim with the flow? Take good care Abdulziz.
I work in a toxic environment and I don't want to succumb to other negative people around me, but rise above and lead by example. I found your video to be a breath of fresh air and I don't feel like I'm going crazy anymore. Thank you!!
This was very helpful to me as well. Thank you !!
I also feel the same way. As a new person in my work, I kept it all quiet when negative comments were made. Until I exploded. And then everything came out. And I feel so guilty of it. I am praying not to let things bother me!
@jemmaworch don't beat yourself up. Honestly, you know better now, maybe on how to handle that type of situation moving forward. Sounds like there were many variables at play, so I wouldn't worry about it!
I am a nurse, so I already start day feeling stressed, not enough time to care for so many patients.
Doctors come and complain, specialist nurses can be intimidating. And then you work with a nurse in charge, who cannot help herself to belittle me in front of patients. She sits on computer and only comes to dish out some negativity. Because she can. So I try to be a better person, but then everything comes out. A learning curve. I might not bite my tongue anymore, I will try to respond in a professional manner highlighting wrong approach to teaching. But ha... It never worked out before.
I'm reminded of one of the four agreements. "Take nothing personally."
so true - and such a great book
Love that book!
What book is that? Thx
@@DD-pz3kf i think it's 'the four agreements' by don miguel ruiz!
Survivor of a traumatic head injury. I learned to accept things out of my control.
I guess this can be similar to the mantra: “Embrace the darkness, for without it-we’d never see the stars”. 🌟
So this is why I like your videos- it's not just finding the problem,it's like" ok, you don't like this, look at it different and make it work for you"
Chris, that means a lot coming from you.
My husband died suddenly 3 months ago leaving me with two small kids. I am extremely resilient I am discovering BUT one thing that is bothering me right now is how other people cannot meet my needs the way my husband did, especially in terms of social interaction and talking. My husband and I talked all the time together and when he died that was cut off cold turkey. When I am around others and it’s finally my time to socialize they are on their phones or distracted with their own crap and then I end up leaving feeling worse, like they don’t understand how much I need them to pay attention to me. I am really missing that attention I got from my husband and my need for connection. My kids just want to talk about Minecraft 24/7 so that’s not cutting it!
I can identify with your desire for conversation. Adapt. Reach out to others. You are not alone.
I am so sorry for your loss. I wonder if you have any elders in your life. I've found my older friends to be more attentive during conversations. But having lost loved ones who also were people I could talk to about everything (and laugh with), I understand that it's hard to find. Those people are out there, though.
I am so very sorry for your profound loss people feel uncomfortable around somebody who has suffered such a great loss they're afraid they'll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing start off by telling them that you need a friend or someone to listen they cannot read your mind and let them know that they cannot really say anything wrong and you need someone to treat you like they did before your husband's passing go to coffee with a friend sit across the table and hold their hands look into their eyes and tell them what you need it helps to hold their attention and their hands are preoccupied so they can't use their phone I would definitely suggest grief counseling and a support group for those who have lost loved ones your local hospital will probably have information look it up online I wish you only the best
Definitely find a support group. I learned I wanted connection too and I learned that everyone doesn’t handle their grief the same. I took it hard. I was crushed and I was surrounded by people that wanted to move on or not talk about it or be too busy to connect.
By being in a grief support group I realized I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only one struggling. Everyone deals with grief differently but I think it’s helpful to be with others who share your pain in an open and nonjudgmental way if your feeling alone and misunderstood.
Healing the soul of a woman by Joyce Meyer would be a great book life is hard God bless you!!!
I'm 58 , I can tell you that as you get older, its gets more difficult to adapt and change to situations. It's easier to adapt if you take small bites rather than large radical moves..
I'm so scared of this, my older sis and I were talking about it earlier.... how everything just seems to get harder with age instead of easier. What lies we have all been fed
😊😊😊
@@JessicahBMilien oh is Def getting worse.... I miss the 90's SO much....
Needed to hear this, so tired of my mind repeating how i screwed up at work even if i dont.
Everyone makes mistakes it's a normal thing.
When this thought come to you,
say this loud I am a human and it’s Okay to make mistakes
I been there where you at right now and I now how it feels
Completely get this my boss said I was not worth what he pays me struggling with getting over that comment and get up my confidence
@@jennagarrow2731 Screw ‘em!
I feel the same exact way :(
just got accepted in a new job, i was so happy and i couldn't wait to start, and i started last week and oh my god its definitely not what i expected, for the past few days i got so emotional and i couldn't cope. thank you so much for this. this was much needed 💕
Feeling the same.
Wishing everything works out for you ! All the very best !
This has happened to me before. I’m here for you friend 🌸
It’s REALLY different without my brother here since he passed away a year ago. It’s quite boring and like there’s a huge hole or something missing in so many ways. My mom and I were used to hanging out with him everyday. I hear a lot of feedback from family and friends about how to grieve and move on that I never asked for. I’ve lost friends in the process. That’s different. I have to learn to be ok being alone because I get to triggered by others and run. Learning mental adaptability with grief and loss is challenging.
Be kind to yourself........ it’s your path, your experience in learning❤️......... not someone else’s timeline........... they just Love you & want you to embrace your BEAUTIFUL LIFE ( the Now, the present MOMENT, minute..... etc) ....... praying you work through the pain❤️...... .... you never get over such a loss , you just learn to accept it & live with it....... time does heal all wounds..........stay strong
I don't think there's anything that anybody could possibly say to make something like that better, losing a loved one is impossibly hard :( I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that it gets better in time and that you can eventually start to love spending time with others again
oooo. just wanted to say that i like hearing "people" more than "men and women." a small thing but i wanted to show my appreciation.
Sometimes life forces you to make a change because staying in your current situation becomes more stressful than the change. It’s having the wisdom to make the right changes that count, the right changes for you, that is. Seek wise counsel, but ultimately you have to make those decisions.
Change is scary not just because of unknowns, but sometimes experience has taught that change is usually bad.
Agree! And so untrue! ♥️
@@NenaLavonne I hope it's untrue for You! I have decades of experiences of change making things harder for me.
@@chrishorbatt3504 This advice -like so many other things- is good for neurotypicals. If you aren't neurotypical and need meds- such as OCD or ADHD, this is more helpful after those things have been addressed -my experience.
@@sl5311 dont know if im neoroytypical?!
Its hard when youve made all the right decisions to put yourself in a good position mentally, and in life given the current circumstances, and then things still aren't falling into place. Its like what more could I do?
I agree
It helped me to stop moving towards a deadline. Found peaceful/enjoyable/being happy in the moment activities, that stopped the 'what next' anxiety. Good luck 😊
Try this quick exercise. Right now look around the room. Really do a quick scan, stop reading and look at the room you're in. Without looking for reference, how many things did you see that had the color blue in them? Don't relook . not yet..... DO you know? un sure? Okay now look again, and look for those things that are blue... How many did you see? Probably more than the first time. When you look for the positive things you will see the positive things. So when you say things are still not falling into place, ask yourself: What did I learn today (Learning is always good) ? How much better am I today? How much tougher and resilient am I today? Being here today is evidence that yesterday couldn't bring you down. You are here. another day. Continue to push, fall, get up learn, and see your successes. And maybe those things you haven't gotten yet, you're not ready for. In order to be faithful over many, you must be faithful over few. Go get em Zachery!!
@@raizethebar loved this!!!!
I definitely understand where you're coming from but I also know that people have it worse than I do I meditate and pray for peace I learned to be grateful for every little thing I am where the universe wants me to be I have something that I'm supposed to learn from this I just have to figure out what it is if I stay stuck in the I did all the right things I sacrificed my happiness when I was young to have more when I was older but yet I have less then happiness will elude me as well just look for the lesson work on inner peace there is nothing more priceless
Alot of people (myself) like routine so when they are thrown out of routine it scares the hell out of them
I appreciate the nuance in this video alot
100% correct
We all have a choice to decide how to feel/react to situations
Great video
Thanks for your thoughtful comment - glad you're here.
@@juliakristinamah
Thank you for engaging with your audience whether you agree or disagree!
Shows you have great character!
Keep up the wonderful context!
Take care!
I too need routine and my spouse is always pushing change and travel it causes me great panic attacks and anxiety. Tough relationship.
I have always been happy with the way I handled stress, confrontations, and jealousy but since last 9 years taking care of 96 yo mother, I am failing. Not with her but my cousin who is in charge of her decisions and so arrogant. Thanks for this talk.
That must be really challenging. I believe you’re doing your best rather than failing because it’s difficult to always get it perfect. Best wishes.
That need to have a reaction to every thought diminishes. My thoughts are still busy but they dont need an ear, like they once did. Im a single parent so i was lonely to begin with but luckily not so much anymore.
Thank you for putting the disclaimer that if we are in an unsafe situation this doesn’t apply! Not everyone does that.
WHAT THE HECK?? I have no idea how your video popped up in with the gardening videos I watch, but i have NEVER needed to watch a video more than this!! within 2 hours today, my son told us he and his wife were moving 1000mi away and my manager told me I had to go into a completely different dept from what I'm used to. I've been pouting and pissed off all day. Thank you for this!
That was intervention by your creator.2 incidences co incided,but it was no coincidence,You are a child of Yah,he loves you,
Omg !! This helped me out sooo much !!
My fiancé was murdered and I’ve been going to the gym, watching comedy, going to church but nothing was helping 100%. But the way you explained this and broke it down so well just woooow…. I understand now.
Thank you so much !!! ❤️❤️💕🙌🏽🤯💯
This has been my 2021 so far. I've conflated anxiety with urgency and adaptability with complacency. I've made it mean something about my discipline and character when I don't fight for the outcome I've convinced myself justifies my time investments. It's resulted in a thousand spinning plates I resent holding up because I'm too stubborn to put them down.
Thanks to homegirl i just added "rigidity" part of my vocabulary. This video made me go back to the drawing board and reevaluate my life..as an INTJ she hit the bullseye...Much love to the homegirl and I hope I can be welcome to the Shift Society...Much love and peace...
Virtual hi five. Fellow INTJ here
Thank you Julia for this cause I’m struggling with accepting change in my life. God bless you. I hope you have a blessed day.
change can be hard Jeremy - especially when it's change that we don't want. Be gentle with yourself - you will get to the other side of this.
Thank you, friend. I'm glad to be here. I'm a motion picture content entrepreneur based in Lagos Nigeria. I've known how to struggle with emotions ,Julia, and have just last night begun to see the actual ways to concentrate my energies and directing it towards a goal. And it feels rewarding and refreshing. I'd love, love to learn
You have been a best friend to me these past few weeks every week on Sundays and I look forward to digesting more of your content. Thank you! :)
I am willing to take the step to changes and slowly adjust to new ideas
Hi Julia and listen to you every morning thank you so much for all your help!
Good timing. I needed to hear this today. Thank you. I’m encouraged to be more mentally flexible with some health issues I’m going through right now. I can decide how I feel about it. Very helpful.
Can’t thank you enough ..I watched this on the right time..
Omg, talk about divine timing! Thank you. I so needed this right now. Will listen many times to get it into my head!
You cannot imagine how many times I've watched this video, thank you so much Julia
Self awareness of triggers is golden. Our triggers are limiting beliefs or a value we wanted to experience in that moment and didn’t!
Thanks for the grounded, and accessible information about the importance of adaptability. I’m looking forward to learning more from your videos.
im so happy to have found your channel! I'm a first-year MFT grad student and I'm here to learn both personally and professionally☺️
Thank you so much for this video ! This is something that I have struggled with for so long. I’ve been trying to fight myself to be ok with what I’m not ok with instead of accepting that it’s ok to not be ok but then to move on and not sit in my self made misery . Life is full of things we love and I don’t know about other people but I find it easier to forget those things when faced with uncomfortable change or situations. Hopefully this made sense . Again thank you for this video and the countless others I have watched over the last couple of weeks !
Amazing video! Thanks so much. You made me realize that people (like me and those who need this kinda content) often get lost in their own heads and then forget the basics - which you are clearly packing out for us here piece by piece. You're amazing. Thanks so much!
I love your content! It's so fresh, timely, and needed.
Love your examples. Makes it very clear and keeps it relatable. Everything you said clicked and made very coherent sense. Thank you
Hi Julia Kristina! Always a pleasure to see you and hear from you!😊
Great reminder! Thank you very much Julia!
I successfully had changed the way I was thinking back when I was 18 and I fell back into rigidity when things started getting hard. I'm tired of feeling awful and I want to get back on track. This is helpful, thank you.
I really needed to hear this today, and it made me cry. Thank you so much! 🙏
I was just talking to a friend the other day about the same topic. We both have had some things going on that is wearing us both down. I told her a lot of our issues are not us but others. We just need to keep getting through one day at a time in a positive way. She totally agreed with me. We are both working to adapt better to negative people in our lives.
I searched for this specific topic - have been working on this for a long time - sitting with distress and tolerating it .. thank you so much for your video - super helpful! There is no guideline for being an adult !
Your talks always resonate with me. Thanks Kristina.
Glad you're here Terry.
Hello Julia, I have been listening to your guidance and support for sometime. I wanted to thank you for sharing your insight and guidance. It really does help. Thank you.
I can’t tell you how much I needed to see this. My husband’s family has been going through some health issues with my F-I-L and I was feeling resentful that our summer vacation is going to be going to see them before his surgery. I’m going to watch this everyday until I leave so I can be more helpful and less detrimental to my husband’s sadness. Thank you! ❣️❣️❣️❣️
This is exactly what I needed to hear and learn this morning. Thank you Julia
Really glad to hear that Daniel. Thanks for watching.
I get a lot from your videos. I am a retired Veteran of 35+ years in the Canadian Military. It’s been a struggle but I am becoming connected and gettin better all the time. I decided that in order to survive and enjoy life, I had to drop the rigidity, become open minded, and listen. After 35 year in, my guess is that you know what I’m talking about.
I just subscribed and this is my second video. I look forward to all your videos. Thanks, you definitely know what you talkin about!
Thank you Julia Kristina! I grew up with very high expectations and this has been hard for me to adapt. It’s been very helpful!
This makes so much sense! This will Change my life. Thank you!!
Really glad it shifted some things for you Emily.
@@juliakristinamah Thank you! It did. I actually have conquered some big fears since.
Hello thank you Julia for being my online therapist this is bringing much needed healing to me I’m new to this Channel
It's all about Mental Control. Easier said than done, but your tips is quite as effective as it is very helpful. Thank you for this, Julia.
Love your videos, thank you Julia!❤
Thanks for being able to put your own experiences out there. Great topic.
OMG, Julia, I just found this one, and it is sooo awesome. Very timely for something I was struggling with today. I watched it twice, and some bits more than that. Took notes! I have work to do. Thank you!!
Thank you for your great work and impact you have had on my life!
Thank you. Perfect to my timing ❤️😭
Love you Julie. God bless you for your helpful content on this media channel. You are very expressive and smart . I'm brazilian and am learning a lot with you . And I'm learning things that my parents didn't teach me . Thanks a bunch.
I try to be happy, but it's hard when I lost my job of nearly 9 years and I've had to adjust and been in and out of work and none stuck. Since then I've had some temp. work, others so awful, that I left and I get pushed from pillar to post. Now I'm in my 50's, it's a lot harder to find a job and feel like I'm on the scrap heap.
Thank You so much! God Bless You!
This resonates with me very well! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this! Exactly where I’m at right now. The visit to a friend’s example actually happened to me! So spot on! I appreciate the practical step by step approach to manage: 1) notice/ be aware of feelings - how am I feeling? 2) process the feelings- how do I want/choose to think about it? 3) decide to take action- what can I choose to do about or within this situation? THANK YOU 🙏
thank you! for helping me!
Thank you I need to hear this.
Great advice, thank you!
Wow! The universe brought me to you. This exactly what I needed to hear today. I have been on a healing journey dealing with chronic pain and it has been hard to not resist it because it hurts so bad. I am making positive changes in my life and learning to let things go easier and love my life despite my circumstances.
Exactly what I needed. At the best time!
Love this!
Thank you for your insights!
Learning how to mentally adapt to life changes is vital for having a meaningful life. Pushing against life is power draining. Thank you so much.
Being an intense person, resistance was a natural part of my being. It’s great to know that there is another path.
I used the pandemic season to sit with myself and journal and take inventory of my emotions and everything attached to them.
Thank you for the video all the information and your lovely smile!
Your videos have really been life changing for me. I want to thank you for your way of teaching. I've learned to like myself more.
Yesss!! I'm SO happy for you Jackie.
Hello Julia, I so much enjoy your videos, and they apply well to my person therapy goals. Thank you so much I love your content.
Thank you, julia kristina. You are my sunshine. Very encouraging.
Brilliant atitude.
I find that in every adversity there is an opportunity/beneficial aspect to it.
When something is lost, something greater is found.
When something is missing, something greater emerges.
Dynamic mental flexibility, not mental ridgidity.
Thank you, you’re the best
Amazing video. Everything you said resonated with me 110%. Thank you so much ❤️
Thank u somuch for this video! You helped me so much!
I needed that 💛🙏
I love you for this
You have the best TH-cam channel. You have helped me so much! Thank you.
Wonderful video. Thank you.
Stumbled on this. It’s great, loved it
Thank you, fhis really helped me alot!
thank you thank you thank you!!!
You are awesome! Thank you so much!!! It was like you were talking about me the whole time!
“This life.. is all that I have!” 💛
love it . Thank you
You are absolutely great.
You are pretty good!
A pleasure to listen to the expression of your intelligence.
I'm so glad you are here..
My gf can get a little depressed with change so I showed her this channel lol It does help thankfully
Hi Julia, Linda from South Africa - 49 years old. I have shared your video. Thank you for your guidance. Love and Light
Thank you this is exactly what I needed to hear right now 💯
Most relatable youtube video ever!
this is amazing
thank you