"My life will never get better": In a mental hole with nothing to look forward to in life
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ม.ค. 2020
- Everyone has experienced being in a mental hole to one degree or another.
The feeling of being in a hole.
The feeling like "Everything in my life is very closed in.
I can't see very far.
I can't move anywhere.
Everything is just sort of stuck the way it is." And it's not easy to get out of a hole.
Just like being at the bottom of a pit.
But one thing that I found that is useful for me to remember in that situation is that this hole, the pit, is not the whole world.
There's more out there.
My life is not this hole.
The universe is not this hole.
But that seems to be the way that the thinking goes in that kind of closed in, claustrophobic, shrunken mental state, where it does feel like being buried in a corner, buried in a hole somewhere, and that is all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life.
It seems to be built into the negative mindset, the feeling that things will not get better, and that, you know, if anything, this hole is only going to get deeper, and this corner is only going to get smaller.
But if others were to see you, if you were to see somebody else who was in this mental hole situation, it looks somewhat like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand.
So the idea of somebody sort of hiding like they just want to pretend to be in this little corner.
They want to pretend to be in darkness.
They want to pretend to be hidden.
Sort of someone building their own box.
Or it would look like somebody who has built their own prison cell and is remaining within it.
And you could suggest leaving it, but it's not possible for them to even imagine what it would be like to not be in that cell, because that is their world.
It's easy to become a hole dweller.
You start to get used to your hole, and start to kind of count on it, as miserable as it is, that it has a certain comfort to it, compared to the unknown and what seems to be so untrustworthy.
Anything outside, it's almost like you can't believe it.
And that even though it is great suffering to be in the hole, at least it's sort of reliable suffering, versus any kind of hope for anything outside can just be seemed like setting oneself up for disappointment.
So all these are describing a very, very dark mental state, and dark is a good metaphor for it, because it is like being hidden in this dark hole.
I have been in that state to some degree at certain times in my life, and I know that certain people suffer through it to a very large degree.
And I think what is helpful for me to remember: it's no solution, there's no easy way out, but it seems like the first step for me is to realize, to understand that there is more out there.
This hole is not my life.
This is not where I am doomed to spend the rest of my life.
This hole is not my whole experience of the universe.
There is more to the universe out there.
There is more to my life that is beyond this particular place.
Does that get me there? No.
Does it show the route to get there? No.
But it is a beginning step, to at least imagine the possibility that, at some point in the future, I will be outside this hole.
It might be for a short time.
Maybe I'll come back.
But I have a chance to see more of the universe than my little corner I'm in now.
Whatever I'm dealing with right now, that is not the everything possibility.
We live in a universe where we have so much more possibility than we actually manifest in our lives.
There is so much more that we can become, so much more that we can do and experience, far beyond what anyone can experience in a lifetime.
And yet it's so easy for us to become stuck in a very tiny corner, a little sliver of the universe, and to just get used to that, to the point where we don't believe there's anything else.
But there is always more.
There is always another place that it's possible to get to.
And because we're always changing, it is absolutely possible for us to change.
Our hole can change.
We can change.
So that there is always a chance to get out of the hole.
Now, I don't like to hear- when I'm in that negative mental state, I don't like to hear kind of generic promises, generic platitudes, of "It'll all be OK." And I imagine this might sound like that.
But what I'm saying, I don't mean it to be in any way kind of guarantee that things will be OK.
There's no guarantee.
There's no guarantee things will get better for you.
There is no comfort, platitude, saying "There there, you'll be fine." It's simply what I believe to be a basic truth to accept: that no matter what situation you're in, there are other possible situations that you could be in.
And by simply acknowledging that it's possible, I believe this can give the chance to begin to change, to begin to dig out of the hole, to climb out of the hole, to begin to open our eyes for perhaps the faintest hints, the faintest hints of something outside the hole.
But it is there, and it is possible to get outside.
lost hopes,failed multiple times,made many mistakes,lost friends,broken financially,overthinking,working hard yet not getting results... I feel tired now
When I get to that state of it being "too much" I need to take some time to just hang out in nature, just eat and sleep, just get that basic foundation together.
Da Great Gibson
That's exactly my life that you explained..
On social media we see only success that make us feel like shit..
@@agentjproductions3718 Get off social media then.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife what if that survival you describe just goes on for years, as I'm getting older and life's dreams and opportunities are passing by.
Still trying to fix things but seems pointless as can't see improvements and life too difficult/ health too bad now to be thorough about exploring all the various solutions.
Sadly, the daily reality for most of the people on this planet. It is a sad, sad state. Existence is absurd.
There is no hope. I am almost 30 years old now and have spent almost all of my adult life indoors and alone. I made a real effort of getting out of this mess in 2014 and then again in 2017-2018 but I couldn't cope in society and withdrew again at the beginning of 2019. My savings have been depleted and I was forced into applying for benefits recently, didn't want to, but I had no choice, my mother needs it. I will probably end up with a sanction sooner or later, the pressure is being ramped up. I no longer worry or care about the present or the future, but I do wish I could just pass away asap. Selfish or not I'm miserable, hate life and see no way forward. The most difficult parts about getting out of this hole is having to go at it alone and the inability to maintain any progress made. I have never had any real support around me. The so called professionals just try to motivate you and crank up the pressure so they can sign you off and the family are not really bothered either way.
Thanks for sharing that. Too many people feel alone behind their screens, but you can see from the comments that many others feel similarly. Not alone, just disconnected from each other.
I am 45 and struggling with life also. Sending LOVE friend and hope you find a positive way out of your hell.
My friend. I know it’s dark. I encourage you to find your hope in Jesus Christ. Trusting in Him brought me back from the brink. What do you have to lose?
@@michaelalten9524 Religion is the absolute worst choice you could make.
@@themacocko6311 I agree. I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about a relationship with the living God. Peace.
I gave up on having a life a while ago. But I didn’t want to subject my family to suicide. So I decided since I’m going to die eventually anyway, I may as well spend the few decades I have left dedicating myself to helping other people (specifically my young niece and nephews and building a school). I have no dreams beyond that, as the few things I wanted in life have proven to be impossible. But at least I can be useful. That gives my life some value.
That may be getting closer to a meaningful life than many.
What are the things you wanted in life that are not possible?
I understand...i just don't want to anymore..im tired...ive tried..it always ends the same
Maybe try something a little different
Its just the realization that I won't experience anything beyond this whole. I've tried for almost 12 years and it just gets worse. I just want it to be over now.
try to do smth you usually wouldnt do- like travel somewhere, move etc
but I really hate my life, this isn’t the reality I want.
The hole sucks. But it's never the full picture.
I hate my life too. I'm so bored.
As said “suicide isn’t cause ppl don’t wanna live life anymore, it’s more of they don’t wanna live this kind of life anymore”. Rather kill yourself cause the life you’re living is horrid and doesn’t really matter anyways, than to keep going and suffer more, knowing you’ll just get hurt again. Death is inevitable and pain is too. So why bother looking for a purpose, when there is no purpose in having one?
It is bad that in few countries there is euthanasia for those who do not want to live. I dream of death, I would not hesitate to take advantage of this
no, there is nothing else... 11 years of darkens, whole life of sorrow...fought and fought and fought alone, only walls closing in wherever I go and whatever I try.... can just lay down and wait for life to end :(
I’ve gone through difficult times. Times of sorrow and despair. Not wanting to face what I was going through. Wanting all of my problems to go away, but as a Christian, I can say that being saved through Jesus Christ has truly changed me. My hope is in Him and in my times of trouble He is the One I go to and multiple times I have felt His comfort and peace. When I go through hard times, I know that I have Him to rely on and it become joyful because He is my friend and my shelter, always waiting for me. :) And I tell you this because you can also experience what I have through Jesus. I’d love to keep telling you about Him!
I hope things improve for you but I tend to agree, I’m just running out the clock at this point.
So Jesus is a comfort blanket? Like a pacifier for a baby.. Let's be honest it's the way you cope.
Many of the issues we all suffer from could be relieved if our financial situation was greatly improved. Worry, fear, anxiety and all kinds of illness are helped by money. I say helped, it’s not a cure all but let’s face it, if the money is there the worry is less, the burdens are less, the healthcare issues are less. If I had some decent money coming in I’d be alright.
Average people like us cant save allot of money, the system is made to keep us as poor as possible, to control us. Also to let us suffer
The system everywhere is made to keep the average working people poor,only paying rent,food,gas , car repairs and thats your life from 18 years old to the moment you die
No doesnt work like that unless your simple minded and materialistic looking for a status quo in society and popularity.. those people are usually selfish, narcissistic and never take blame for things. Try working on yourself. Money is nothing.. youll see that as you grow up.. or maybe your grown. But just never saw the forrest from the trees. Open eyes, take a deep breath and let the fart out. Then breathe in again so you smell what money ultimately gets you. Shit. Just more shit., money solves immediate issues but bigger issues will still be there. Nothing helps once youve gone past that point of figuring this out..
No one wants to hear when you're sad...I just have to fake it always. I'm so sad. And I'm 54 now and feel like anything good is in the past for me.
It's hard to be around sadness all the time, but if you can't share it at least sometimes, it might be time to find some new friends. There are certainly other people around who choose hard honesty over pleasant fakery.
you are not alone. I wish you all the happiness your heart can handle and then some.
Just wanted to let you know...... Lots of people wish for your happiness, and you are not alone......have a wonderful day!! Still thinking of ya
I don’t want to see the rest of the world anymore. It’s not worth the pain. I don’t care what’s outside of the hole, I’m ready to just shrivel up and waste away.
Are u still there
@@mightyobserver12 Yup, not doing great but a little better than I was 2 years ago.
@@demonmurphyso you see... it Will get better if you say so❤
i have nothing left...can't do it anymore.... it is living hell 😢😢😢
Make a decision then.. take your power back.
@@christinarichie6171What the heck does that even mean?
Very well said this is the only video I came across where someone perfectly described what it feels like being in a dark hole mentally. That’s how I’ve felt since I was young. I never knew how to explain what I was going through but I’m glad I cane across your video because now I know what I’m experiencing and how to fix it. I do believe now 100% that I’m not stuck in the hole but rather I’ve allowed myself to fall in it and I have to allow myself to get out of this negative mentality through self reflection and perspective. Thanks for this video.
Thank you for sharing, Mona!
I tend to go in and out of mental holes, and it's amazing how easily perspective can shrink down inside one. Easy to forget that there's anything outside it. But maybe like you say perspective is the key, to remember that there's always more than what we're experiencing at the moment.
Actively seeking a painless exit
why does everyone keep lying to me? life doesn't get better, it only gets worse as we age
Nothing replaces being young, but age does bring us the chance to be slightly wiser
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife in my personal experience, wisdom brings only suffering
@@Void-KnullSo true
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife being a wise man in a world of idiots seems like a punishment more than something to look forward to.
@@mafiawaffle1386 Sounds possibly frustrating, but also a situation with a lot of opportunity.
When you've had continuous crap health all your life that just seems to get worse, despite your concerted efforts to improve it, people tell you they think you're brave or you're a fighter. No, I am not brave 'cos if I could choose to not be here, I would. I live because I have to, not because I want to. That's not brave, that's just stuck, and it sucks.
Sometimes that putting a positive spin on things can just become tiresome, and it's refreshing to embrace a dark and grim mindset. Some days I feel undead.
Watching this for a second time after a couple of months. My life during this pandemic is a monotonous mess, I make very little progress towards my goals and I sometimes entirely lose sight of the happier future that hopefully awaits me somewhere down the line. Thank you for reminding me that the world is still out there.
Saw this was 2 years ago, hope ur doing better now
you saved me from spiralling deeper tonight. Thank you. Lost my parents through the years and don't have much family around, feeling so alone and feeling so hopeless tonight. This mental hole is not my entire life, this mental hole is not the universe, i will remember. This is just a moment in my life, and i will get out of this suffering.
How are you doing now?
I'd rather you show me how to get out of the hell out of the hole rather than tell me I can get out of the hole. I'm sick and tired of empty optimistic promises.
I'm convinced there's always something outside the hole, because we're each only witnessing a small slice of the universe. I'm also convinced that our mindset is constantly changing. I find that encouraging, but it's no specific prediction.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife Okay.... so how does that help?
@@oblivious108 i doesn't help if you don't want to be helped
@@jennifermendes3721 I never said I didn't want help. I just want to know how I can get out of the hole.
God you're annoying...
Well I’m old now it doesn’t get better only thing to look forward too is death when this nightmare finally ends
I believe huge change is possible in 1000 days, only 3 years, so it could even start at age 70.
I'm not waiting for it😁 soon I'll finally be free
That's the same way i feel right now 😠😡
Would you just let people vent... stop trying to bring in hopium. Your not old you know nothing about it.
i get stuck in mental holes every now and then, but this feels like one of the deepest one yet. this pandemic has been so hard, it's like there are added factors. now, the walls of the pit is oiled and the ground beneath me feels like quicksand. i keep trying to climb out by my feet keep sinking. somedays i climb out higher than some. sometimes i think i can see the top, but then i fall back again. knowing that im not alone helps though...
Never alone, but especially this past year, people around the world have been feeling some of that dark isolation.
What possibility? What are you basing that on? It doesn’t change. HOW is it possible that anything will change? Just because other people aren’t in the hole IT DOESN’T FOLLOW that I can be out of it. I’m so sick of this empty false hope bullshit. Hope is pain. The only way to survive is to let it go.
It's in the nature of the hole to feel like there's nothing outside it. But there's always more going on than whatever we're feeling in the moment. No guarantee things will get better, they can always get worse, but certain they will change somehow.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife I know that things *could* get better, but to all intents and purposes they wont. Same as one *could* win the lottery or get run over crossing the street. I know it would be unreasonable for me to ask for a guarantee that things will get better, but I feel like its equally unreasonable to ask me to picture these vanishingly remote possibilities.
@@georgeweller1 How do you know your odds?
Pain all the time
Currently going through it right now. Lost my 10 year old dog suddenly, living in a rented accommodation with a abusive landlord. Currently have no gas, electric or heating. I’ve lost nothing but hope. Currently in university and have not done one bit of work. I have never felt so suicidal in all my life. I’m STRUGGLING
When things feel overwhelming, I like to make a list of all my problems. It may be a long list, but it's reassuring to know that it's not endless.
Doing any better 4 months later?
How are you doing?
Middle aged, retired, did all the things that make most people happy, none of it mattered. Life is cruel, evolution was based on scarcity and competition. Everything is fake, nobody cares, society is run by sociopaths, the planet is dying. Friends and family all dead or gone, no desire to find more. Background in computational neuroscience and genomics. My psychiatrist told me to try genetically engineering the entire human species. Which is both highly unlikely to work, and even if did would cause mass global suicides as people gain empathy and unpreparedly face their regrets. Just waiting for my dog to die, so I can follow him. Thanks for not doing the truckloads of hopes and prayers thing though
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
This world isn't dying don't be ridiculous. We don't have that much power to destroy it. Its propaganda to steal from the poor to keep the rich psychopaths in power. At least you see through the illusion of this place.
Your psychiatrist sounds like a sociopath 🤣🤡
Middle age, not retired, in between jobs, did not do all the things. Had a rough go, treated myself bad for awhile and allowed others to because I did not think I deserved better. At least left all that behind but I hide now. Being a childless, loveless woman at my age, for me is crushing. At this point I just want to find a way to build my wealth quickly so I can travel again . Learn the art of bread and pasta making and then find a humble space by the sea where I can swim, garden and have a little food stand selling my veggies, bread and fresh pasta . I will get a couple of cats and some chickens and feed those who in needs.
I need to find a new skill that pays so I can make this happen soon . Then I can accept my loneliness and past and live my days enjoy what I love and provide good to others. That would be a sweet second half of life. I wish you all the best. I know all to well what it feels like to suffer in the mind. I have not spent a moment aside of seeing stranger in this strange town since Xmas and then before that at thanksgiving. Isolation is a killer.
Anyone else ever felt this before the pandemic and Still living isolated covid free?
I recorded this video in January 2020 before it all hit. But the isolation since then has led to deeper mental holes for many of us.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife at least it kept me covid free. Don't want to find out personally how much a slow burn omicron is going to be.
They tell us hospitalizations are down but the death rate is still going up.
Don't take too much brains to figure out, that those deaths could very much be happening at home...like a thief in the night to people not even suspecting they got covid. I can wait this pandemic out till then.
Im 23 years, i want more for my life but i just still find myself doing the same thing all over again, its nobody's fault but mine..my mom is super supportive with money and stuff..it's me im the problem..and i know there's time but the time is going at the same time... i start losing hope cos, i don't believe in myself anymore sometimes because i don't do what i said I'll do and when i make another promise to myself i know deep down i will not get it done. Its scary cos nobody can save me except me.
I don't see any way out and am not interested in what the world has to offer without the people and things I once had. Would be better off dead.
I believe there's always another perspective possible, even when it's not visible at all in the moment.
Thank you so much for making this video 💗
When you work on getting to a better place and smashing your head against a wall for 20 years. Yes, sometimes it will not get better. And even if, the 20 years were not worth it. The price to exist is too high.
I feel like this is stuff people say who are also depressed. Like they feel good for 5 days and jump to telling other depressed people it will be better. but we all know you will be back in 'the hole' in a few days and nothing has improved. Depression is an illness and it seems like it can't be healed. It will always return and the percentage time you are sick keep increasing with age. Yes from time to time you get some sort of vacation from your shit but it will be back and longer than last time. Nonetheless this was the most positive generic 'you will get better' message i found.
It isn't an illness... don't be ridiculous. Most people are on autopilot they shut their feelings off years ago.
@@christinarichie6171agree just can't pullout of never ending nosedive
i am definitely trapped in this bottomless pit Rn. Subbed.
I’ve only watched a few videos so far but you have some great stuff-this one spoke to me in particular but I plan to keep listening. I’ve spent probably 70% of my life in a mental hole and it’s been a long 25 years. Taking small actions to give myself breathing room and hopefully I can make a bigger change someday. I know that I don’t want to have a child, too much risk of putting them in the same position
Thank you for your comment. I like the idea of starting with small actions now to create breathing room. When we don't have the full solution immediately, small improvements can place us in a stronger position to face the challenge later. Very positive outlook.
There is no hope for me. My id id expired long ago when i was 15 and now i am 23. Since my id is expired, if i ever get caught working then i would be immediately deported and my homeland country is worse than north korea. Life is closing in on me
Thank you for sharing.
The pit is my whole world, I can’t come out. I’m done. I just have to find the courage to make an exit. God, please. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 my greatest gift will be to go.
I hope you’re still here. Your comment made me terribly sad. I’m praying hard for a change for you tonight regernique, I know for a fact that you’ll make it out of the other side, no matter your circumstance. God hears you. Please Lmk know if you need to talk. I know some days I do, I’d love to talk.
@@laurscurls Hi, thank you so much for making my day, sincerely. I am still here yet honestly I still want to let go more times than I’ll rather keep holding on. I apologize my comment made you sad, however I am so grateful for your message and concern. Means the world, thank you for being open to chat. ✨✨
Life is a party to which everyone is invited, except me.
Start a new party and you might be surprised who joins you.
Thank you, appreciate your realistic view, feel like you know. Hope you're doing well.
Thank you, and you too.
Thank you for your compassionate video.
i believe life is like a pre set show, the characters, your personality and circumstances. no matter how hard you try if things are pre set they wont change. life is inherently all luck
But luck isn't preset, right? New dice rolls every day.
whether it is or not, we can't know what's next
Underrated comment
let's hang out@@claudia3539
i need to be friends with more people who think things like this
Been in this hole for 14 years. Served in the Army where it was always mission first. Missed out on a lot of important events, time with friends, etc. now that I’m retired I’m just too tired to do things anymore.
Maybe don't need to do much. A small good act can go a long way
Been stuck in this whole for a decade since I left school a decade ago I recently tried to apply for a bursary to study what I'm passionate about they were supposed to notify successful candidates by Monday and as usual I didn't get a call I'm devastated because I really tried to be positive but it didn't help and each time I fail my self confidence takes a knock and seeds of self doubt seep through I really don't care anymore I'm tired I feel like I was meant to suffer
I promise, the hole gets deeper and there are no damn stairs to climb up from it either
Although I'm still a teenager but half of my life till now was just catastrophic my ocd grew like a whirlwind i and is really severe it's so hard for me even to normally breathe, my parents are pretty old[ I came late into their life] they're themselves suffering, struggling financially there were days where I really wanted to give up but still I keep going because I know the universe and God has it all planned it doesn't matter if it's a slow process because in that case I'll be having enormous amount of experiences and memories to look back and share:)
Keep your heads up! all the Uncles Aunties Grandfathers Grandmothers Sisters Brothers Mothers and Fathers tables gunna turn.
And Thank You So Much For Posting This Amazing Video !
Thank you for your message!
Hi, i also have ocd, im not sure if i can say its somewhat severe, it use to be a lot more severe i think, i take serenotonin, do you take any medication for your ocd? im kind of like a teenager?? lol im 20 yr old, i also have a dad thats sort of aging, im not sure if it was just out of prayer, but i think i remember praying to god about someone or something that could help me with my ocd and i feel like he led me to this saint, padre pio of pitrocleina, ive prayed to him and i think perhaps in a way he has helped me, and still is. im not sure if you believe in saints or are catholic, but i would recommend if you want to, to think of maybe praying to him and seeing.
i hope your ok. and also if you need anyone to talk to, id be okay with talking.
bless you, andy.
Please keep on going please
I haven't left my home in days. I lost my job months ago. God I lived her so so much. I loved my job so much. I know there is more out there, I just wish some of it was for me. Even a little bit of it.
Thank you so much for this. It helped me tonight when I felt like things couldn’t get better. Just envisioning that the hole isn’t the whole world.
Thank you for saying that.
Is that a Toronto Argonauts player in your profile pic?
I really agree about we don’t live any of our unlimited potential. Thats why i am so depressed, resentful, and disappointed. I know i have that, all the capabilities to do anything. Yet i can never get over myself and get out of the hole, month after month wasting away. If that isn’t depressing I don’t know what is.
Good point, comparing our actual life with the endless possibilities for what it could be can be discouraging. I did that a lot when I was younger, and now find it helpful to work within boundaries and be OK with many things never being a part of my life. Rather than "mental hole vs the whole wide universe" it can be more like "mental hole vs a nice little park around it".
This place is set up this way... it isn't your fault just remember that.
Attention deficit disorder makes it very difficult to get through videos like this. I’m sure that their is good information. I just can’t pay attention long enough to get to it.
Thank you for taking the time and attention to share this.
The best thing about his way of seeing things is that he is being brutally honest. He is not shoving bs down your throat. It's the honest truth. Nothing will be guaranteed. But all one can do is try doing something. I am doing this myself even before seeing this. I have already wanted to not exist anymore. There is no promise that you will ever be the same or that the world will get better. But I am going to try something because I need to make this bearable before it my time to get out of here.
Just stumbled across your channel. Very interesting video. Will be watching a lot more.
I had recent multiple traumatic events, and losses.. along with foolish mistakes and decisions that has shattered my life completely. I broke. I had a scarry mental breakdown. I have nothing now. Im devastated. I have severe depression. Anhedonia. Chronic Anxiety, Stress and insomnia.
I cannot go anywhere, do anything. Lost interests in hobbies, activities and in life.
@saramcglasson6605 Thank you !!!💙,
I feel you REALLY do understand the deep pain I'm in...!
Thank you
@saramcglasson6605 Wow, saramcglasson. You too? Are suffering from the same.
Loss, mistakes,...and not wanting to go on..!
I too... would never believed.. all these things could ever happen to me..!
" move on"?..!!! It's in the past now?.. Nobody fully understands, because they don't know or feel my pain... its not their life that was destroyed.
..... Im so broken, ashamed, with guilt and regrets.
@@saramcglasson6605 I just had to erase... this super long explanation of just a few of my disastrous mistakes. I couldn't send it. Bottom line, I really blew it, and I cannot get back what I lost... and
It's my fault
@@saramcglasson6605 The depression and anxiety gotten so bad.... I called the suicide hotline. Even the VA crisis suicide line, and other help lines... They really just try to offer verbal emotional support... but, nothing they say, can bring back the losses, or take away the guilt, shame and regrets.
I tried to forgive myself, I tried to reframe my situation, like the psychologist says. But that didn't work either..
How about you.... ?
@saramcglasson6605 Hi saramcglasson... I just read your message. You and I are definitely feeling the same way. I just can't stand it. I have this horrible Insomnia too. I didn't sleep again last night!.. I try not to get mad... but,... last night I started to curse outloud! I just can't stand all these different illnesses I suffer from.
Like you, saramcglasson.... we have the guilt, shame, the regret we have to deal with, AND the suffering from depression, and anxiety.
Again... yesterday I tried to explain, how losing my job of 20yrs... meant more to me,.. than just employment. I tried to explain how connected my whole life was , also... the seniority level I achieved, and that I was finally going to get the runs I've always wanted, and that all my closest friends I miss seeing...
My neighbor couldn't understand at all... its like nobody can ever understand.
I still have my hobbies I can do.. but, I have absolutely no desire or motivation to do anything.
I REALLY appreciate your reply! I feel like you understand, and that finally makes me feel alitte better.
And to hear, you are suffering in a similar way... I can understand., and feel your pain. I would like to chat, or even talk with you. I need to get better somehow. Talking to therapist or counselors.. haven't helped. They say the same basic things. I hope we can continue to share and communicate. I'm here saramcglasson to hear and listen with compassion., and will try and help you anyway I can.... I feel you are helping me 💕🙌⚘️❤️
damn all these folks are like 40-50 and i’m here 20yo feelin the same exact way.
U know what I felt like nobody in this world can understand my pain in this world ....but u did😭😭😭😭
Also I sometimes feel like I am watching my life from out of myself (??)
I sometimes like that sense of stepping outside myself, as long as I can somehow influence what I'm watching, not just sitting in the audience for my own life. Maybe like an interactive movie or a video game where I play myself as a character. I sometimes find it helpful for breaking out of my habits and trying a new approach.
Found this while at work and thinking about how I have no control over my past, present, and future.
My past is certainly beyond change, and that's sometimes hard to take. My present is as open as I allow it to be. Always seems like there's more possible range of action than our habits of thinking allow us. My future, I have no idea.
I lost my girl my life is over its been 2 years
I want to believe you. I really REALLY do. I just can't see that there's anything left to look forward to. Looking forward and hoping in the future is what drives us through life.
When I was in elementary school I looked forward to middle school. Then high school. Then graduation. When I joined the navy I looked forward to seeing the world, and then did. Eventually I looked forward to getting out of the navy, of getting married, of having kids, of buying a house. All of that happened.
Cut to 30 years later. The kids are grown. After decades, the (ex)wife decided that monogamy wasn't for her. In 3 days I'll be losing my 5th job in the last 6 years. I'm 56, too young to retire and too old for any employers to want me.
So tell me again, what is there to look forward to? Please! My life could very well depend on it.
Thank you for sharing this. I don't know any specifics about your situation, but one thing I'm convinced of is that the future is unknowable. We can project our current situation forward and see no possible way it will improve, but we can't actually know this. Whether our current situation is bad or good, it's certain to change, and in ways we can't even imagine.
@QuestforaMeaningfulLife Thank you for your response. I agree that things are bound to change, maybe for the better but not necessarily. I must amend what I said previously about nothing to look forward to. There is one thing, the end. I look forward to the end.
Once again, thank you for responding.
I needed this thank you
Thank you for saying so!
I was barely a teenager when I first realized how enveloping my depression and anxiety were. Now I wonder if it was just an indulgence and if I really had control all those times I said "I can't just flip a switch" whenever I was scolded for a bad attitude. 30 now, am I stuck like this? Daily suicidal ideation, tried meds, doing therapists' jobs for them in sessions, decade+ of having no friends, family won't put up with me much longer. Continuous backsliding, years of circling the drain. What do I have to realize to change my trajectory? Probably long since realized it but took no action.
Wishing anyone anywhere the will to recover
All I can say for sure is there's always more going on in the world than we can imagine, and as long as we have breath we have the chance for something beyond what we've known so far.
I am at a point where all throughout your 20's you keep saying to yourself "it is gonna get better, hang in there. can't get worse than this" like a make-believe tale. now I look back at my past and my possible future and I've come to realization that nothing will get significantly better from now on. i rationally don't see a future for myself to worth living. i haven't been able accomplish anything that i'm proud of, failed to sustain my close friendships over the years because of this mental sickness that's been chewing me out for the last decade and half. i pushed people away without intending to do so because of my overall bad mood and attitude. never had an emotionally close bond with my parents since my childhood because i got blamed and criticised for everything and not get trusted for anything and that forced me to "close in", don't tell anyone about anything so they can't hurt you. This illness caused me lose all types of human emotions on the spectrum. I don't feel joy, sadness or anger. I can't remember the last time I was happy since my childhood days. I can't cry or genuinely laugh. I don't think I'm capable to love someone and be loved either. There is just this void inside of me and it gets deeper and darker and larger by the day. I don't know how much I have left in me to push for another day, feel like the end is getting closer.
Yeah I am 23 and currently stuck in it right now. It's hell in here and for the past 2 years after the pandemic got all the nice job training or intern and all employment opportunities for me. I'm still unemployed and currently looking for a job, and I feel like I'm getting left behind by life and have failed bc all the people I knew are moving on with their lives and they always have something going on, to look forward to meanwhile I'm stuck here and have been even more isolated since we moved in a rural area.
My father can be really draining too. He's just upset a lot of times. It's really been hell tbh. I can't drive our family vehicle, cause they're hard to use and I messed up a lot of times, cause the engine is shit. (wouldn't wanna risk getting in an accident) I can't seem to have a clear mind. This "brain fog" isnt helping. I'm currently thinking of ways to pull myself out from this hell hole.
Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I find it helpful to write out a list of everything that's troubling me. Even if it's a long list, there's something reassuring about reaching the end of it.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife thank you 💖 I'll try that ✨
thank you, this made me feel better. maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel :)
Sometimes I need a reminder that the tunnel isn't all there is.
I know this isn’t our fault, the system is rigged against us but I still feel so much shame for not being better.
good video. my therapist says i need to hang on to hope. i find solace in letting go of hope though. not in that i want life to end, but that life itself is a struggle, and whatever i'm doing is fine. i grew up with my parents literally screaming at each other every morning, my mom always on the verge of rage, and hitting me a lot. i have to imagine that had some adverse impact. i've studied a lot, tried a lot, but when i'm down like this i'm consumed by those thoughts. that she is right and she has won and i'm the loser she always criticized me for being. the people who have supported me in my life were only close for short periods but mostly maintained too much distance to empower me to find joy in any actions i'd take. not going anywhere with this commentar i think, it's just a cross section of my consciousness i'd say. thanks for your insight. i wish it would resonate stronger with me but nothing's working rn
Thank you very much for sharing this. I don't have any answers, but it feels good to communicate and share our challenges with other sentient beings in this otherwise lonely universe.
I like such videos with not much editing and background noise
Thanks, that's good to hear. I usually record in a single take with no editing unless there's a background interruption.
I think I know that this hole isn't all there is. I know this isn't my life, that there's more out there. But I think my problem is that there is no end game to me. I have nothing to live for.
When I accomplish something no one is there to care for me. Like really care for me. My whole family is dysfunctional. They all avoid it. They poke jabs at each other passive aggressively. Everybody just sweeps everything under the rug. And then when I speak about it they call me stupid or too young to understand. (I'm the second youngest sibling/cousin in my whole extended family. Our oldest one is almost 50. I'm currently 26).
When I speak to friends they don't care because they know if they take advantage of me nobodies going to stand up for me. I'm always told about plans last and treated like a third wheel.
I can't even talk to other family members because all they do is take advantage of our family's dysfunction. They use it to make us fight each other while they profit from it whether it be money or a "good name". It's never really because they're benevolent.
I'm always being taken advantage of. Of course I could just stop being a good person and start taking advantage of others. But this isn't the type of world I want to live in.
Thanks for sharing this. I don't get the "nothing to live for" because what you describe is your current situation, maybe even the way things have been all your life, but I don't see anything locked in about the future.
In fact sounds like you have some kind of vision of a world that's a little bit more kind and just. I wouldn't be surprised if this ends up attracting some real friends down the road.
"There is always another place that it's possible to get to." Maybe after death.
Thank you
As long as you are healthy，all you need is to learn new skills because the hole is mainly financial and environment. We did not choose to be who we become, we are merely products of the society and change to adapt is a built-in ability.
I am multi-skilled not by choice but forced to upgrade to survive and after 30 years of struggling in an unappreciated society, unable to reach foreign markets due to the invisible blockades, I can only pray for luck, can't beat the unethical practices that eliminates all potential competition no matter how small. That is the rude awakening reality when you know who caused.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Yeah the game is rigged.... this is a GAME and we are the pawns.
Yes. Wow somebody finally understands. All this talk about getting help no help I’ve tried to talk to therapist psychiatrist family I’ve begged family If somebody can just say good night but that’s too much for it them this guy I’m sorry I’ve never heard it explained and I’m mad at you can understand Because I am way past depression. The depression has going on for over 40 years with medical attention which is not worth a damn and the Anadonia it’s been bad for the last two years three years but there’s nobody I can talk to about it so thank you and my family won’t give a damn but I will forward this to them thank you
I find loneliness is the saddest thing of all. We all need others to suffer together with.
Good morning, good evening, and goodnight ⚘⚘⚘
Thank you.
I was a good man, always help people, family, friends and strangers. When a good man finally needs help he is ignored by everyone, family, friends and even God. That is my life.
I hear you, sometimes our concept of "good" can turn bad and we need to make an adjustment.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife my good went out the window after a lifetime of doing good. I begged God for help and got nothing. If God will turn his back on me then I have every right to turn my back on God. To suggest I make an adjustment is ridiculous.
@@shnobi24I think the concept of "good" might be too vague to be of much use. I trust in human creativity to come up with previously unimagined ways to be.
All of this and the people who commented are the reasons why people just give up and end up embracing homelessness. Because for a lot of people being homelessness has much less stigma than walking away from life.
Doesn't being homeless just force us to deal with more problems? Home is a package of solutions to so many problems that we don't even usually think about unless we're forced to.
I’m in this hole, I’m hiding out in my house. My house is the hole. I’m not happy in my house, but there is a comfort in being in the hole that is familiar, vs leaving to go into the world to a hole that is unfamiliar. Isolation has done this to me, how do you come out of this mindset? I’m so lost it’s unreal.
I find two possible strategies are often suggested, and you might try either. One is to gently push the boundaries of your comfort zone, just maybe going for a short walk, spending a bit more time outside, doing something a little different than ordinary. The other is more of a shock, like going on a little trip out of town or doing something that takes you fully out of the comfort zone at least for a short time.
Thank you for responding, I am going to try your suggestions. I may have to rip off the bandaid and and completely leave my comfort zone. Thank you for this advice, I really appreciate it.
How do I get out of this hole ??
If the hole is a state of mind, and our states of mind are constantly changing, then I can be sure that least it won't be the same hole forever. As the old fable goes, what one truth makes both sad men happy and happy men sad? "This too shall pass."
This is it 👏🏻
Subscribed. 🌲
When life has nothing left to offer
What do you do for a living dude I ponder
I'm a linguistics and English language consultant.
Ya but how many times. I have no one. Also very sick and have horrible pain daily.. no getting out of this or away from the pain.
You sound like you were describing all the people who post videos on TickTock.
Finaly found someone like me
That's been my whole life.
i dont rllynhave hope, i have no friends, i dont rlly have much i look forward to in life tbh, thats y i cant change, i dont have anything to look forward to
i just feel like i have nothin to lok forward to, I dont want kids, i dont even care for a partner or friends, or holidays or anything. I am just stuck, i dont havw thinhs i am look forward to. And thats y i cant change
One thing we can always say, we never actually know what the future will hold for us. Anything we might imagine might never come true, but seems like there certainly is at least a surprise or two in store.
I'm tired of praying to "God" just to be ignored like I have been by everyone my whole life. -God, if you can hear me, I'm going to sleep now. Please take me in my sleep. I can't stand another day. Please don't let me wake. It's obviously only going to get worse.-
I always laugh when I hear shit like this
It is over if you've not set up your life by 25, stop lying to people
Why 25?
More like 35... yes it is over if you aren't settled by then.
What if your life is a hole?
You're right, platitudes is all I heard in this video, but that's all you ever hear in these videos.
As long as life continues, multiple paths are possible. There's always more going on outside the hole. It's a minimalist platitude: "your chances of improvement are nonzero"
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife Hey guess what, still awful, still horrible, still wondering if I should blow my fucking head off.
Your platitudes have no meaning.
Your whole video is a waste of space on the internet.
You would do more help by deleting it.
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLifehey guess what, my life has gotten worse. What was it you said about life going on the chances of improvement are nonzero???
@@TH-camIsRetarded689 Still nonzero
The hole is 90% negative thoughts and emotions and 10% actual reality, not to downplay anyones problem, but its a good thing to keep in mind.
Good proportion to remember, at least that it's always some kind of mix. Real problems are real, but we multiply them with our imagination.
And money
Its actually not 90% of negative thoughts. It's the harsh reality of living in a usury vampiric system.
💯🔥👍
Bro people disabled in poverty ain't going nowhere or doing nothing but you know what I mean and so I hope you're not saying they put themselves in a mental hole where they were born from one into an insane assylm
Fair point. Can't just tell people to "Look on the bright side and it will all be OK"
Aa he provides more insight throughout the video the sun progressively illuminates him like he's Jesus
The sun always comes back! We can't count on the weather, but as long as the earth keeps spinning we can bet on the steady movement of the sun.
Why can I see you wearing a buzz light year outfit?
Dude looks like Alex Vincent
That's a new one for me, but my name is also Alex lol
You should talk more about teenagers problems
I'm a bit old to speak for teens, but I think many of the same kinds of problems can come up at any age. What sort of problem do you have in mind?
@@QuestforaMeaningfulLife suicide thoughts
@@user-gh5ho2hz6l I think we all need to find something that makes us decide that existing is better than not existing. For me, sometimes it's just how interesting the universe is. However I'm feeling in the moment, the universe is a very interesting place, and I'm happy for the chance to experience a little piece of it.
That’s me 😣
I hate it
Your hole is the absence of God in your life and you feel him everyday. To get out of the whole seek him and accept him.
Accept my butt hole?
To me God is a very abstract concept. Some kind of transcendent universal principle. I don't believe in a personal God with specific instructions for me. But maybe there's something in the idea of transcending my individual life and being aware of something bigger.
F*ck Life ! Frfr
Could you look more like an evil hypnotist ?
Now I just need the powers
You can try and do good in this world have high hopes but that's not reachable for ppl unless you sell your soul to the devil you want live comfortable
A lot of unhappiness seems to come from trying to "do good" in some abstract way. Seems to often lead to a bitter backlash.
No matter how bad you feel, it won't last forever.
😡😡😡
My god that’s a terrible shirt
People you are wrong how your life is now is how it will be so if you are a failure you will always be a failure IT IS DIVINE PROVIDENCE wanna bring GOD into this God made you like this SO ACCEPT IT
How do you know what is divine providence until the end?
If someone fails and remains in failure, you can say it's divine providence.
If someone fails and then later comes out and succeeds, you can also say it's divine providence.
So how do you know?
you are wrong and indoctrinated