External. Thank you for all you amazing insights and wise words. You make things personal to you which makes you relatable. Such a beautiful soul to listen to. ❤️
External. I’ve been working hard on self help through yours and other videos to try and get on track and cure my depression because I can’t afford to get help. Thanks for the videos.
I have a tenant that used to be cool,then one morning she became more hateful,than any human ,but I still complement her,she gets infuriated by the compliments .
Two ways of moving AWAY from an external - stop indulging in self pity (every form of "I can't do" or "I can't see a way of..." ), and start taking responsibilities - even for the littlest of things. Also, start accepting that you ARE capable!
I have tried to move more towards living with intention and purpose instead of just letting life happen to me. It’s hard and takes practice, DAILY practice, but I am slowly realizing that I AM in control of my thoughts and feelings.
Hi Rebecca, actually you cannot control your thoughts because they are not your own. Thoughts lead to feelings/emotions which lead you to react/over react. This is how “your “ thoughts deceive you. There are 2 ways to live your life. One way is from without. One way is from within. From without you THINK you are in control but you are actually a prisoner. From within you KNOW you are being controlled but you are actually free. Thinking locks you away from knowing. Knowing sets you free from thinking. When you think then you become the creator(you playing God) of the life you think you want. Leads you to destruction. When you know then God causes the life HE created just for you to happen. Leads you to peace and joy. Take ALL thoughts captive. Simply doubt ALL thoughts. Stay out of “your “ thoughts for a week and you will see the difference.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor E. Frankl
@@juliakristinamah thank you so much for responding! And much gratitude for these videos. Finding that pause to either accept the things I can’t control, or to step forward to affect change in ways I can has been a long, long works in progress. patience with myself is key. As well as forgiveness when I stumble.
I’m 79 years old and am recuperating from my second cancer surgery. The previous one was 8 years ago. Anyway, the surgery isn’t that bad but chemotherapy messes up your mind and makes you feel helpless and frightened. In college I studied mathematics and at the graduate level for a while but it was too difficult to finish since I was working full,time and it was a long commute to the university. Anyway, I found that chemo pretty much wiped a lot,of math understanding out of my mind. And I had done extremely well in national tests! But here I am feeling like an idiot. So, what I started doing a while back was doing math problems every morning. Easy ones! Stuff you learn in high school. I found it very difficult but I’m getting better all the time. There will be times when I feel as if I’m not making any progress and then all,of a sudden I’m at a new level of re-understanding. I love the idea of locus of control. I’m going to be reminding myself that it’s not the cancer and chemo that’s in charge, it’s me! I can make it all work. And enjoy doing it!💃
I totally agree and relate to everything that was said. Things will work depending on the way we think and ser them. Sometimes, the situations we go through in life are not too bad, we decided see them as bad ,instead of seeing them as an opportunity to learn something new and grow.
Fantastic. By focusing on those things that help grow your locus of control activates your prefrontal cortex for confident, creative thinking and problem solving. This is a subject close to my heart
@@moulaye7534 I can relate with Rachel Wesselman on this one, and your question is also one that I've been asked. I guess I would answer that being around people that I don't particularly enjoy being with, forces me to better think at why I don't enjoy being around them and (my feeling is) that I need to be in this state to better understand myself and decide if I want to work on whatever it triggers in me.
@@goulet268 In this case, my thought would be to go with no expectation, with a real open mind. Of course, you'll get triggered but you should keep a rational behaviour. Of course, regenerate yourself before the next meeting. Easier said than done though. XD What would you think ?
If not in awareness, yes outside life I feel controls. You end up playing the role of people in your life. When you awaken you realize and start putting things together. You are now aware, Now that Your jn awareness You are now responsible with what you do and choose. Everyone has percentage of responsibility.
I think I have recently started to use my internal locus of control (Im 68 yrs old it's taken me long enough)and you are confirming that and also reassuring my thoughts. Thank you.
I am 69 and still working on myself .& trying not to let outside influences effect me .must work on my internal locus control also . Thanks for the videos
Hi Julia - I found your videos about two weeks ago and have watched dozens of them already. You’ve changed my life and I thank you and God that he placed you in my life.
David - welcome here! I haven't changed your life - you have. I just gave you some tools and showed you how to use them, but you're the one who picked them up and got to work building.
@@juliakristinamah Then let me say that I’m truly grateful For the skill you have and more importantly that you decided to share it with the world. Again, many thanks.
I feel there are no cons of internal locus if implemented smartly. And by that, I mean when things don't work out, instead of blaming self for it, think about the things you can do to make it better. And harmonize yourself with things that you can't control.
Love your videos and all of the info and how it affects me, ie shifts my thinking or my awareness. I definitely shift from one to the other depending on my frame of mind, and whilst I swing more towards knowing that I am in control I can most definitely get stuck on occasions in thinking negatively about people around me (in particular relating to work colleagues). Julia, thankyou, I will definitely use this new information to work on myself!
hey, am going through a breakup right now with my girlfriend of over 10 years. we both had major trauma and verbally abusive childhoods which made us stay together even if our relationship suffered. She realized that she needed to end it so processed over months and then just ended it so it was super sudden for me. I want her back but i have to stop being codependent and learn to love myself. I dont know how to change but believe i am starting to. i am seeing a therapist but the pain of this breakup and her wanting me to move out of our place is extremely overwhelming. I am hoping through support of family friends and personal research such as watching these videos (and of course therapy) that i can be the best version of myself so eventually maybe me and my girlfriend can get back together and join or happiness together
Hi Julia another Wonderful video as always & very helpful with learning & growing which I have done a lot more of for about 3 to 4 months 😊 anyway, during this video I realized I am both external locus and internal locus but I feel I am more of the external type due to as you also mentioned Depression & Anxiety, so anyway, I am going to watch & listen to this video again with headphones in & that way I can learn & grow from listening to & watching it again while also learning to work on both the external & the internal parts so that I can better control my thought process & feelings 😍 thank you so much for your videos and helping us all to over come what we all deal with & go through every day of our lives 😊
Hi There my name is Geoff ive been off work for 6 weeks now having major issues with confidence and anxiety / stress which is preventing me from living my life. Ive stated seeing a councillor how as introduced me to LOC and im wanting to learn more on this subject
@@juliakristinamah I really like this, and maintain a heavily internal locus of control for myself! Mine used to be a bit more external, but have gradually moved away from that
@@juliakristinamah I thought you were tired of hearing from me! When I was young I was very ambitious. My parents and others constantly told me "your not able to do that" so naturally I did it, I accomplished what they said I couldn't do. Than the rest of my life I did the same thing, over and over again. But I suffered alot, felt rejected and successful at the same time. I totally believe I could control the outcome of my life if I was willing to pay the price of loosing the stability of what I have now and if I was willing to hurt the people in my life. Internal locus comes with a cost I'm not willing to pay anymore.
What a magnificent way to explain the spectrum in which we all fall into. Intrinsic and Extrinsic motivation created by environment, behavioral patterns, and stimuli. I myself try to balance both, there is a time and place where I need to take self care time and a time and place where I need to focus on something outside of myself. Well Spoken Madame Kristina Counseling channel
I just subscribed to your channel and have learned much, so thank you for that. I noticed the spelling you choose i.e. counselling, vs counseling, may I ask is there a reason for that? Thanking you in advance!
I don't see myself as an optimist. I find that term often goes along with naivety, or irrational positivity. I'm more of a realist, choosing to see things as they are but also that I have control within that reality. It's a nice middle ground.
@@Dezzyyx but what happens when you can't know the outcome. Which path will you choose to believe in. The one that could lead to success (#try) or the one that could lead to failure (#statusquo). Of course, take in all the info to choose. Don't go blindly.
It sounds like if a person has a super high internal locus of control they could be highly narcissistic. Maybe that’s why most people are somewhere in the middle.
That's simplifying and generalizing. Like saying everyone with an education was elitist for example. You're just throwing out a statement here. I have high internal locus of control because I've had to master that, for myself and being sensitive to the environment and exposed to a lot of negativity. I've been in therapy for 10 years on and off, I've reflected on things since I was a kid, I've read all kinds of books. Things like CBT and Stoicism promote this kind of mastery, it has nothing to do with narcissism, but if you wanna think that go ahead. What is annoying is people on the opposite side of the locus spectrum who always complain and blame, and stuck in a circle and don't want any advice or to learn and grow. Things won't get better if you don't even try. It's hard I know all about that, which is why I spent every single day of my life since a young teen to work on it, I wanted to be better, live better. That awareness can do a lot. Most people are not very aware, and just react and live stuck in "how things are". You should know this as well, as I'm gonna assume you're interested in personal growth being on this video. Anyway that is basically the gist of this issue. :)
@@Dezzyyx seems that my trying understand has triggered something in you to make my question about you. Yup kinda narcissistic and I agree very annoying
@@johnathanellis9010 Hm, that's quite the assumption. It hasn't, and that I can thank Julia for :) I have Autism. People often assume that because I talk about myself it's that kind of thing. When in fact the way my brain works is seeing patterns, so it's easier for me to make a point if I use my own experiences and myself as an example.I also tend to go on, typical Autism, so what people often take as "Wow bruh.. you must be defensive", is me being long-winded to get my thoughts out, as well as wanting to be clear (ppl with autism meet a lot of misunderstandings through life) and as people with Autism tend to, have a lot to say. Again here I don't want to be generalizing about Autism, so to clarify I am also here using it loosely to say you were off in your judgement. I'm sorry that bothered you. I was merely trying to tell you that internal locus is a good thing. Your comment sounded like someone who is the opposite and doesn't want to "buy" into the concept of internal locus of control, hence perpetuating the cycle of people living by their egos. I see this a lot online so I try to point it out ever since Julia truly cleared this up for me. We could all be better off, but sure, you do you. By the way I couldn't be further from narcissistic, and that's not defensive that is the truth, affirmed by people around me all my life. Just want be truthful about that as an added statement to the fact that you misunderstood this, my comment that is. But if you want to think that about me, hey, we don't know each other so that doesn't actually affect either of us. Have a nice day man :)
General feedback here. I wish you would spend more time sharing your knowledge than building up how youre going to share it with us. There isnt really a question of which locus is better, so the dramatic withholding feels like its restricting the content.
Do you think you have more of an internal or an external locus of control?
External. Thank you for all you amazing insights and wise words. You make things personal to you which makes you relatable. Such a beautiful soul to listen to. ❤️
External. I’ve been working hard on self help through yours and other videos to try and get on track and cure my depression because I can’t afford to get help. Thanks for the videos.
I have a tenant that used to be cool,then one morning she became more hateful,than any human ,but I still complement her,she gets infuriated by the compliments .
depends
I needed this so badly today!
We are easier to control by others when we are afraid. We need to take responsibility for our own lives!
Absolutely.
Two ways of moving AWAY from an external - stop indulging in self pity (every form of "I can't do" or "I can't see a way of..." ), and start taking responsibilities - even for the littlest of things. Also, start accepting that you ARE capable!
Thx for writing this. This helps ❤️
All truth right here. Thanks John.
Your words hit the nail on the head..!They carry power.. ! So well put!
I have tried to move more towards living with intention and purpose instead of just letting life happen to me. It’s hard and takes practice, DAILY practice, but I am slowly realizing that I AM in control of my thoughts and feelings.
Good for you Rebecca - this is everything.
Hi Rebecca, actually you cannot control your thoughts because they are not your own.
Thoughts lead to feelings/emotions which lead you to react/over react.
This is how “your “ thoughts deceive you.
There are 2 ways to live your life.
One way is from without.
One way is from within.
From without you THINK you are in control but you are actually a prisoner.
From within you KNOW you are being controlled but you are actually free.
Thinking locks you away from knowing.
Knowing sets you free from thinking.
When you think then you become the creator(you playing God) of the life you think you want.
Leads you to destruction.
When you know then God causes the life HE created just for you to happen.
Leads you to peace and joy.
Take ALL thoughts captive.
Simply doubt ALL thoughts.
Stay out of “your “ thoughts for a week and you will see the difference.
@@freshliving4199 so well said..!! great advice.. thanks for writing..
@@freshliving4199 God is definitely involved in my healing!
@@BexnRN God IS your healing.
Try my advice out for 1 WEEK and let me know how you change.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor E. Frankl
A whole power truth right here.
@@juliakristinamah thank you so much for responding! And much gratitude for these videos. Finding that pause to either accept the things I can’t control, or to step forward to affect change in ways I can has been a long, long works in progress. patience with myself is key. As well as forgiveness when I stumble.
I’m 79 years old and am recuperating from my second cancer surgery. The previous one was 8 years ago. Anyway, the surgery isn’t that bad but chemotherapy messes up your mind and makes you feel helpless and frightened. In college I studied mathematics and at the graduate level for a while but it was too difficult to finish since I was working full,time and it was a long commute to the university. Anyway, I found that chemo pretty much wiped a lot,of math understanding out of my mind. And I had done extremely well in national tests! But here I am feeling like an idiot. So, what I started doing a while back was doing math problems every morning. Easy ones! Stuff you learn in high school. I found it very difficult but I’m getting better all the time. There will be times when I feel as if I’m not making any progress and then all,of a sudden I’m at a new level of re-understanding. I love the idea of locus of control. I’m going to be reminding myself that it’s not the cancer and chemo that’s in charge, it’s me! I can make it all work. And enjoy doing it!💃
I totally agree and relate to everything that was said. Things will work depending on the way we think and ser them. Sometimes, the situations we go through in life are not too bad, we decided see them as bad ,instead of seeing them as an opportunity to learn something new and grow.
Absolutely. If we see everything as an opportunity to learn and grow, we get to learn and grow everyday ;-)
Fantastic. By focusing on those things that help grow your locus of control activates your prefrontal cortex for confident, creative thinking and problem solving. This is a subject close to my heart
I love that we're on the same page with this one.
I avoid being around certain people because their negativity affects me so much. I would love to master this internal locus
Why would you wanna be around them ?
@@moulaye7534 I can relate with Rachel Wesselman on this one, and your question is also one that I've been asked. I guess I would answer that being around people that I don't particularly enjoy being with, forces me to better think at why I don't enjoy being around them and (my feeling is) that I need to be in this state to better understand myself and decide if I want to work on whatever it triggers in me.
@@goulet268 In this case, my thought would be to go with no expectation, with a real open mind. Of course, you'll get triggered but you should keep a rational behaviour. Of course, regenerate yourself before the next meeting. Easier said than done though. XD What would you think ?
Good for you. It's a sign of a well managed mind when we can be around people without getting pulled in to whatever they have going on.
When your green you grow when you’re ripe you rot. I hope to keep learning. When you’re learning you’re growing.
Amen!
If not in awareness, yes outside life I feel controls. You end up playing the role of people in your life. When you awaken you realize and start putting things together. You are now aware,
Now that Your jn awareness You are now responsible with what you do and choose. Everyone has percentage of responsibility.
I think I have recently started to use my internal
locus of control (Im 68 yrs old it's taken me long enough)and you are confirming that and also reassuring my thoughts. Thank you.
Good for you Julie- way to show up for yourself.
I am 69 and still working on myself .& trying not to let outside influences effect me .must work on my internal locus control also . Thanks for the videos
Hi Julia - I found your videos about two weeks ago and have watched dozens of them already. You’ve changed my life and I thank you and God that he placed you in my life.
David - welcome here! I haven't changed your life - you have. I just gave you some tools and showed you how to use them, but you're the one who picked them up and got to work building.
@@juliakristinamah
Then let me say that I’m truly grateful For the skill you have and more importantly that you decided to share it with the world.
Again, many thanks.
I feel there are no cons of internal locus if implemented smartly. And by that, I mean when things don't work out, instead of blaming self for it, think about the things you can do to make it better. And harmonize yourself with things that you can't control.
I agree. If one is responsible with the internal and not using as a reason to blame oneself for everything, then yes.
Hallelujah hallelujah is the highest I praise 3 I Hallelujah hallelujah is the highest I praise
So empowering...wish I could have YOUR voice in my head all the time! Thank you!
Hi Julia, do you think you could do a video about Major Depressive Disorder?
New concept for me. Hope it will help us a lot.
This is really good...thank you!!
Really glad it helped Sarah - and glad you're here.
Your channel is life-changing, thank you for doing what you do 🙏
Love your videos and all of the info and how it affects me, ie shifts my thinking or my awareness. I definitely shift from one to the other depending on my frame of mind, and whilst I swing more towards knowing that I am in control I can most definitely get stuck on occasions in thinking negatively about people around me (in particular relating to work colleagues). Julia, thankyou, I will definitely use this new information to work on myself!
Really glad it connected Mirella. Glad you're here.
I’m new here. Most days I feel like I’m barely hanging in here. My cousin sent me to your corner. I need healing.
This is great. I am thinking for myself.i limited myself to help other but I don't go overboard ,,, thanxs julie
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for your time!! You make it so easy to understand things in life for an add / anxiety person …individual..
You have an excellent way of presenting the information - it is so "gettable" ! You always make me think and reconsider my position.
hey, am going through a breakup right now with my girlfriend of over 10 years. we both had major trauma and verbally abusive childhoods which made us stay together even if our relationship suffered. She realized that she needed to end it so processed over months and then just ended it so it was super sudden for me. I want her back but i have to stop being codependent and learn to love myself. I dont know how to change but believe i am starting to. i am seeing a therapist but the pain of this breakup and her wanting me to move out of our place is extremely overwhelming. I am hoping through support of family friends and personal research such as watching these videos (and of course therapy) that i can be the best version of myself so eventually maybe me and my girlfriend can get back together and join or happiness together
Hi Julia another Wonderful video as always & very helpful with learning & growing which I have done a lot more of for about 3 to 4 months 😊 anyway, during this video I realized I am both external locus and internal locus but I feel I am more of the external type due to as you also mentioned Depression & Anxiety, so anyway, I am going to watch & listen to this video again with headphones in & that way I can learn & grow from listening to & watching it again while also learning to work on both the external & the internal parts so that I can better control my thought process & feelings 😍 thank you so much for your videos and helping us all to over come what we all deal with & go through every day of our lives 😊
Hey girlie love to listen to you, I am back to listen again and thrive thanks again!!
New to this channel, I love it. I like how you create your videos in b & w, it’s simple, it’s calming 🤍🖤
You are so clear Julia. Lovely.
Incredibly powerful
You are stellar😉 such a fantastic teacher. Thanks for being so clear.
I’ve been waiting for a video like this
Thank you Julia, another great video with super observations, they are so true!
You are amazing
I need your guidance
Thankyou
Hi There my name is Geoff ive been off work for 6 weeks now having major issues with confidence and anxiety / stress which is preventing me from living my life. Ive stated seeing a councillor how as introduced me to LOC and im wanting to learn more on this subject
I'm new here. Just saying hello. I like Julia's videos, some of them make a lot of sense to me and my life at the moment.
Lol when you described exteneral locus.. I was like yep that's me 😂
Thank you.I know what to do to get what I want in my life 😊
I’ve never heard of this rule before, now I’m intrigued!! ☺️
What are your thoughts now?
@@juliakristinamah I really like this, and maintain a heavily internal locus of control for myself! Mine used to be a bit more external, but have gradually moved away from that
Another good video, Julia! Never heard of this concept before. It's weird for me cause I think and believe like internal but act like external!
That's so interesting - tell me more.
@@juliakristinamah I thought you were tired of hearing from me! When I was young I was very ambitious. My parents and others constantly told me "your not able to do that" so naturally I did it, I accomplished what they said I couldn't do. Than the rest of my life I did the same thing, over and over again. But I suffered alot, felt rejected and successful at the same time. I totally believe I could control the outcome of my life if I was willing to pay the price of loosing the stability of what I have now and if I was willing to hurt the people in my life. Internal locus comes with a cost I'm not willing to pay anymore.
Very insightful! 💞👏👏
Love me some Julia. You are a beautiful blessing in this (breutiful) world 😉.
as are you Robert.
Stunningly Worthy:)
Is it possiable to have both? I think I do
You’re so positive, so why are you all grey?
- This is interesting.
Hello Julia, good morning to you.
hey hey! welcome here.
What a magnificent way to explain the spectrum in which we all fall into. Intrinsic and Extrinsic motivation created by environment, behavioral patterns, and stimuli.
I myself try to balance both, there is a time and place where I need to take self care time and a time and place where I need to focus on something outside of myself.
Well Spoken Madame Kristina Counseling channel
I feel like I'm in my psychology of empowerment class again.
Welcome ;-)
I just subscribed to your channel and have learned much, so thank you for that. I noticed the spelling you choose i.e. counselling, vs counseling, may I ask is there a reason for that? Thanking you in advance!
Welcome - and great question! That is the Canadian/British spelling of counselling - and since I'm Canadian... 😉
@@juliakristinamah I wondered about that. Thank you for your reply! BTW, I find your vids most helpful! Thanks again!
Julia ❤
Needs introduction but the concept is defined well dear
I think im slowly shifting to internal locus of control😳
Hello”
so basically, external locus are the pessimists and internal locus are the optimists. This way, it's easier to choose which you are...
I don't see myself as an optimist. I find that term often goes along with naivety, or irrational positivity. I'm more of a realist, choosing to see things as they are but also that I have control within that reality. It's a nice middle ground.
@@Dezzyyx but what happens when you can't know the outcome. Which path will you choose to believe in. The one that could lead to success (#try) or the one that could lead to failure (#statusquo).
Of course, take in all the info to choose. Don't go blindly.
Aloha Julie
Aloha!
It sounds like if a person has a super high internal locus of control they could be highly narcissistic. Maybe that’s why most people are somewhere in the middle.
That's simplifying and generalizing. Like saying everyone with an education was elitist for example. You're just throwing out a statement here. I have high internal locus of control because I've had to master that, for myself and being sensitive to the environment and exposed to a lot of negativity. I've been in therapy for 10 years on and off, I've reflected on things since I was a kid, I've read all kinds of books. Things like CBT and Stoicism promote this kind of mastery, it has nothing to do with narcissism, but if you wanna think that go ahead. What is annoying is people on the opposite side of the locus spectrum who always complain and blame, and stuck in a circle and don't want any advice or to learn and grow. Things won't get better if you don't even try. It's hard I know all about that, which is why I spent every single day of my life since a young teen to work on it, I wanted to be better, live better. That awareness can do a lot. Most people are not very aware, and just react and live stuck in "how things are". You should know this as well, as I'm gonna assume you're interested in personal growth being on this video. Anyway that is basically the gist of this issue. :)
@@Dezzyyx seems that my trying understand has triggered something in you to make my question about you. Yup kinda narcissistic and I agree very annoying
@@johnathanellis9010 Hm, that's quite the assumption. It hasn't, and that I can thank Julia for :) I have Autism. People often assume that because I talk about myself it's that kind of thing. When in fact the way my brain works is seeing patterns, so it's easier for me to make a point if I use my own experiences and myself as an example.I also tend to go on, typical Autism, so what people often take as "Wow bruh.. you must be defensive", is me being long-winded to get my thoughts out, as well as wanting to be clear (ppl with autism meet a lot of misunderstandings through life) and as people with Autism tend to, have a lot to say. Again here I don't want to be generalizing about Autism, so to clarify I am also here using it loosely to say you were off in your judgement. I'm sorry that bothered you. I was merely trying to tell you that internal locus is a good thing. Your comment sounded like someone who is the opposite and doesn't want to "buy" into the concept of internal locus of control, hence perpetuating the cycle of people living by their egos. I see this a lot online so I try to point it out ever since Julia truly cleared this up for me. We could all be better off, but sure, you do you. By the way I couldn't be further from narcissistic, and that's not defensive that is the truth, affirmed by people around me all my life. Just want be truthful about that as an added statement to the fact that you misunderstood this, my comment that is. But if you want to think that about me, hey, we don't know each other so that doesn't actually affect either of us. Have a nice day man :)
@@Dezzyyx too long . Didn’t read
@@johnathanellis9010 Not sure what the point of your comment is, but that's ok.
Like dr wayne Dyer said
Do you really have a say on how you feel. Aren't feelings automatic?
Our feelings stem from our thoughts. If we change what we think, we can change how we feel.
In vanqour
You know gabor mate
General feedback here. I wish you would spend more time sharing your knowledge than building up how youre going to share it with us. There isnt really a question of which locus is better, so the dramatic withholding feels like its restricting the content.
🙏🏽🩷