Juan Arriaga, I read your comment and I can definitely relate. But I tell you what got me out of that position. I was told that the brain reacts to what you tell it. And As a child I was told many horrible things therefore I believe it. You are doing great if you are watching this channel. She is a professional ♥️ and yes keep motivating yourself. Tell your brain what you want to believe over and over again until it becomes a reality. I did that and my life changed!!! Over time. It's not one day after another. Also get away from the people that hurt you even if it's your own family. I did that too.
People always say that the things that irritate us about other people are the reflections of our own perceived shortcomings. This was the first time I've heard that the good things that draw us towards others is also a reflection of oneself. That blew my mind.
I've taken on a simple trick. Repeat this three times : "I love and respect myself". Then Repeat until you feel something. Sometimes it's as simple as a smile other times it feels like a jolt of love the goes through your whole body. It has helped me in accepting myself as a person.
Julia. You are in people's hearts and souls. We can sum it up and say,; if you dont love yourself,you will look ugly in front of others. If you love and trust yourself,you will look gorgeous in front of others
One problem I openly admit to having is a history of people telling me in some form or another that I'm no good or not enough and/or why. I'm learning to cut these people loose for reasons why they aren't good enough for me.
Please don't be discouraged that your videos aren't getting a lot of views, We really love them and they will get what they deserve when people stop supporting idiots and start watching what's actually beneficial for them.
"Loving and accepting yourself won't turn you into a blob". This phrase spoke to me. I've been trying to play video games to learn how to fail and problem solve in an environment with no real consequences. I know that this will be good for me and help alleviate some of my chronic anxiety. Yet, I'm afraid of becoming lazy. I also have lived my life to prove my actions and success to others. It's unhealthy and I want love myself more. Thank you Julia for this Sunny Side technique:)
I was watching a movie yesterday and the one character said something about love that really grabbed my attention. He said, " Strength is measured by the lengths you go to for the people you love"
Exactly as you described here Julia. I've always thought my negative thoughts were pushing me to be a better self. I've recently realized that I only do this because I "need" the approval of others. I can't honestly tell if I've for the last 10 years really done anything for just myself. I love your content and it really helps me to learn more about myself. Though it also kind of makes me sad to realize all these things.
I have found that it's an amazing relief to realize that the biggest nay-sayer in my life is my self only. Here is a virtual hug and hi-five to you Julia 🤗👐
Sometimes my determination is anger towards what others have said and done to me. I don’t want that to be my motivation. I don’t want to prove anything to anyone. That’s a nagging endeavor. I’m allowing myself to actually dream what I dream is possible. What I dream is actually me. Thank you for saying what I been thinking and the positive affirmation for this new journey I’m on.
Thank you, Julia- this is something I really struggle with. I was raised to always consider others before myself. This caused a lot of self devaluation and left me empty and yearning for validation from others which.... does not... come along.
This was incredible. The last 2-3 minutes of this video created a shift inside me and gave me a new tool I can use when I'm having a tougher day. I don't tend to comment much on TH-cam, but your videos were critical in helping my C-PTSD recovery over the last few months, and I appreciate you work more than you'll ever know. Keep shining.
Wow this was a great video!✨🤍 lately i’ve been learning it’s nice to take time to appreciate and be proud of yourself. I spend so much time thinking of the things i haven’t accomplished yet & hardly notice the things i have.
Hello! I'm surprised I got the notification for your new video as early as I did, and I'm glad I got the opportunity to watch! I came across your channel recently through your videos about depression and codependent behavior, as my significant other suffers from depression. I was stuck in this mindset of thinking I had to be a hero, feeling like I would have failed him if I couldn't ease his pain. It was hard realizing I fell within the gray area of being both being empathetic and codependent, and I ended up draining myself mentally. It got to the point where I felt like I didn't deserve the things I had and that I couldn't be happy because he wasn't happy. I'd end up valuing his needs over mine and ignoring the effect it had on me. I felt selfish for not tending to him first, and my own needs and issues just kept on piling up from there. It was scary realizing I couldn't get myself to enjoy the things I used to love doing--things that made me happy. I feel I might've ended up drifting into depression myself if I hadn't decided to research my problem, finding your channel in the process. It was eye-opening watching your videos to say the least, and while it of course wasn't an instant fix to anything, it definitely provided me some new tools to start taking better care of myself. There's a lot more I want to say, but I'm sure it'd be best if I left it here. I just want to say thank you for uploading these. Especially during the pandemic, it is relieving to know there is a place to go to just listen and learn about how to better myself and handle the things around me in a healthier way. Again, thank you so much, and I hope you stay safe!
Hahaha so funny that comment you made about us possibly fearing that if we DO start feeling good about ourselves we might stop trying (and thus not improve), it reminds me of thinking when I was young that my extreme test anxiety actually helped me during tests, because it really made me fire on all cylinders. Then when I found a method to relax and used it for the first time, I actually got a FULL score on a test in University. Something that had never happened to me before. So stress wont help you perform better, and self loathing wont help you become a better person either. Love your videos by the way, even though you are so mesmerizing I have to look a way because I forget to listen to what you say. Too cute for the camera!
The sunny side??? That's the most awesome, incredible, beautiful, amazing and HOPEFUL, ENCOURAGING and MOTIVATIONAL idea I've yet come across! Wow! Wow! and Wow! I reconise the Jungian 'shadow' idea, (or at least have recognised it in others, if not myself ...Wow again!), but the idea that the good and amazing qualities we most admire in others are a reflection of those qualities in ourselves?...that is mind-blowing!!! That is definitely my homework for this video topic. I am stunned...but hopefully in a good way, in a positive and motivational and encouraging way! Thank you, Julia! 👍❤❤❤
This is one of my favorites! Julia I learn each time you teach and grow within immensely. Thank you for the shift Society and all of your lovely contributions to mankind and to help the humans.
AMAZING VIDEO ,your response is always more powerful than your circumstance. A tiny part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. The goal isn’t to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings, and life circumstances. That's impossible. The goal is to, change your response to them today! And it's never too late. Just decide to make the best of it-to step forward again with grace. No excuses. No resistance. No regrets. peace🕊
Hi Julia Kristin! You always help me look up. And, yes, I sometimes feel Uck when I have to realized I have to stifle severe incidents because hindsight put me in the face of my friends who need to manipulate me to not relate realities because the would be more cozy not hearing about it. Well! After overlooking this I am now physically nauseous with this kind of control and I always back down. But no more, I am loving me, and distancing from nauseium. Hooray!
Salve Doctore! For years I felt my only motivation to be the fire of aggression and fury. I was forced to be strong with a family dynamic of " win or don't come home". Often ny siblings would wake me up just to fist fight or verbally fight. I've only known to strong arm my emotions to fury in order to " get over them." Learning self care and how to love myself is difficult. This video strikes me with truth. But I need more. Gratias Doctore.
Yes!! I am having the same problem you have solved. Somewhere I got dependent on this on the outside. I was looking at this again , the need for external approval , object referral vs self referral. I love this term self solid. I define who I am, only me. I don't need outside permission/approval to be myself. A few years ago , en route to my therapist I was thinking about the shadow and it dawned on me there is also a light shadow. She called it the Golden Shadow. This is so very timely. TY Julia. I like that you are so genuine and passionate about what you do and what you bring to others.
This is deep. Brilliant insight that the good things I see in other people are the qualities that I actually have otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see those qualities in other people. Love it! Really useful!
I absolutely have this "Negative motivation" as you called it, Need to be the best at everything and never fail, It causes me to have crazy amounts of endeavour and will to succeed and I dont think I would have achieved certain things without that drive, I'm not doubting you when you say thats not the case but Its just hard for me to imagine where else that motivation would come from...
Outstanding topic. I would like to love myself alone that my thoughts do not turn to a treat with food. Used to binge, but still like a treat. Similar question with using exercise as a reward.
I know who I am but appreciate this video. Many people don’t want to hear the truth but that’s how we learn. Still I am with a man who doesn’t live himself.I told him that if you don’t love yourself you cannot love someone else. Not sure how long we will last but I’m not a quitter
Yes, I don't like to be alone with myself because of my negative thoughts. I usually go somewhere to be distracted where things are happening and I can just stop being present with my thoughts.
I just wanted to express my gratitude to you Julia Kristina. I have no words to describe how lucky I feel that I found your TH-cam channel ❤️🙏 I have watched almost all of your videos in the past weeks, and it has absolutely changed my life 😊 I really appreciate all the things you have taught me, about my self and others. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. Your enthusiasm is so expiring. How you talk from the bottom of your heart; telling us about your own experiences, how you used to think about yourself and others in the past, and how you could transform yourself into the person you are today, gives us a faith that we can too. Your integrity, which I find so important and delightful, gives us the opportunity to really connect with you. My journey with you (watching the videos, taking in all your messages and going through this process of changing my mindset) has been amazing and I truly hope I can learn more and continue to transform myself as a part of the Shift Society 😊 Keep up doing this great work😉 👏👏👏 You are doing an awesome thing here 👍
Love the video. Self-love is a journey, I couldn't agree more. Meditation is a great way to practice loving our alone time with our thoughts. Thank you for your great content, Julia :)
I just got out of class and seeing your video come up made me so happy!! Loving ourselves more is a journey, but definitely a goal to shoot for! I hope you’re having a wonderful week ❤️
Hi Julia 🙂 I am still struggling with self-love and the inner critical thoughts 😔 Iam listening to this video right now. It is resonating with me very deeply! Well I'm going to go ahead and listen to the end and get ready for yoga. I feel so proud to be a part of the Shift Society ❤💯 Thank you 😊 Blessings on your day 🙏 ❤
According to teal swan we are always seeking validation , emotional validation from others because we are a relational species. The fact we disregard validating other people’s feelings is what is perpetuating conflict within all humanity
I have love for myself, but I feel that I am struggling to have love for myself with the way that I express myself. I have been upset that I can express my thoughts well when I write or send a text, but it seems that when I talk, I cannot express my thoughts at the same level due to the self-rejection and frustration. I continue to improve this each day. thank you for the video.
Hi All the way from Australia 👋 Thank you Julia for your help🙏 your videos really resonate with me, I find them immensely useful and you have amazing insight. I am on a gradual journey to self love as a result of joining AA and living clean and sober for the first time in 30 years. It's a complex and one step forward two back kind of process and I find lots of guilt coming up. But I am trying my best♡Thank u so much🙏
Yes!! You hit this so perfectly, Julia! I am afraid to be alone with my thoughts because I don't like where my brain is going to take things. It's also literally a study in ADD because my brain takes me all over the place and I make myself crazy! Which, of course, contributes to the initial problem of lacking self love. I'm making progress but at 56 I'm impatient to make this happen.
Finally it’s clear, thank you so much. I have realized that my motivation indeed mostly used to come from self-hate and self-rejection. And reflecting on this makes me see that as soon as I exclude hate from my system my progress immediately boosts. Thank you for helping me put my thoughts on the right shelves. And apologies for being skeptical earlier!
Thank you so much. I really liked the healthy and unhealthy motivation. The unhealthy motivation is in my life currently more present and it's not working for me (at all), it blocks me completely/gets me stuck. So I'm glad to hear that there's an other way, that also feels loads better!!! And I start being friendlier more understanding with myself and I have my back. Thank you so much. Love your videos!!!
Oh, wow, this really resonated with me. I think I am my worst enemy and I have been feeling this for the last year. I believe the pandemic and staying at home, being alone most of the time (and a failed relationship I've put a lot of my hopes in) has brought up this more and more to a really huge extent. I am trying to truly understand what it means to be kind to myself and not only from the theoretical side of it, cause I know deep down this will be the right thing to do but how do I actually do it is the real struggle for me...
Thanks for sharing this, Julia! It’s been a journey I’ve been on for a while now. I was told often that I was too hard on myself and really, I was. I just couldn’t see it for way too long. Now I try to catch those “hard” thoughts and challenge them. I often ask myself, “Would you say that to a good friend?” That has helped me change my inner dialogue. Keep shining your beautiful light!
Thank you Julia Cristina!! This is a great reminder to keep doing the work needed to find a deeper love for self. I appreciate you & all the knowledge you share ❤
I recently came across this video and I'm thankful I came across your channel and I just subscribed! I'm struggling a lot with loving myself, respecting myself and a bunch of other things. This year and a half have been a struggle and I'm currently going through a very difficult time. I'm continuing to watch other videos and also about depression and anxiety and among other things I need help in my life. Are there videos about selfishness? The signs of being selfish and how to stop being selfish? That is my biggest issue, I'm 41 and I really don't want to live the rest of my life being like this and among other problems. I'm glad I found you and hopefully will help me! 🙏❤️
I do love me some Jung. I find his work fascinating. We spend so much time focusing on the darker/less desirable parts of ourselves , in some need to "fix" it; it is nice that we can look at the Sunny Side, and celebrate it.
Thank you thank you thank you for this video I've come across a lot of men and women in this seems to be the situation I'm posting the video on my Facebook page two friends so they'll post it as well this is just so fitting I've been looking for other persons in your field who have these sites and I've been sharing your videos I know I feel better about myself and there's a lot more people out there who could use some great advice just to make things a little easier and happier have a great day
I like good listeners, people that can be a fellow human being without one-upping or one-downing, people who have creative outlets, introspective people.
Your videos are very enlightening for me. They have helped me understand and have better verbiage to explain how I’ve been feeling for a while. I’m now definitely a virtual student of yours 😁 and am excited to watch your content to aid in my personal growth. Thank you!! 💕
Self-love is the #1 thing in life - I appreciate you sharing this! I discuss the same idea in the 5th to last video on my channel & it's included in my compilation video today too, all from a parenting context. I hope videos like ours really inspire people to prioritize self-love! I just subscribed to your channel also, keep it up.
I LOVE your content! The knowledge you share has helped SOOO much. I really really REALLY appreciate it! Here's a foundation metaphor for you for futures reference cause the work you're doing is digging up the ground (showing us the issues), it's up to us to place the forms (practice), and for us to pour the concrete for a solid foundation (form new habits) so we can build a lasting home on this new foundation. Just a thought. Thanks again for all the insight!!
Holy crap this was a good one and i need to listen again and maybe again until it sinks in! You are so my new best counselor holy im blown away! Thank you for you! ✌🙏🌞
You are a young, beautiful and wise woman. I'm from Malaysia. I have watched a few of your videos, especially the one about Boundaries, how true. Thank you very very much.
Actually, I'm eating alot before a German language exam I have tomorrow at age 52. I am soooo much more motivated with a belly, which I never had , out of self hate, and have a date with somone tomorrow who is in self hate ( I can totally tell) age 39. I went out to ight as me , after 5 years of hiding in this country. I gave a million new meanings to tomorrow , I just chose the date and everything is manifesting around it. A completely different energy. Everything you are explaining is correct. We change and grow when we love and when we live everything explodes. But ! I still have more shadow work to do. I love your homework. I got it in 2 seconds where you were going with that. You got it girl!
Your fantastic and I thoroughly enjoy you learning how to love myself is a journey I've been on for 51 years and now that I've left my husband and taking control of my life and not being abused anymore you mean everything and I don't miss an episode! In. #nolongerstrugglinginoklahoma
hi, awesome video and videos!!! I found your channel by chance, but I am so happy I did! I haven't even seen all of your videos, but you have helped me immensely already! You usually ask what touched us in the video. In this one the fact that we base our self-love on external items, like how we are included or appreciated. It's really true! I am sick of feeling good or bad based on what happens around me. I'll have to work on the homework. I never stopped to think why I like my friends or the people around me. Thank you again! Looking forward to watching all of your videos, past and future :) (I also submitted to be on the wait list for the SHIFT Society :))
I have lived a struggling life with no support system and some of my decisions have been questionable to say the least, it has been hard on my children. I find myself feeling judged by myself with such acid that I can't stand it. All I want is to be able to make amends and move forward.
As humans, we tend to project what’s inside on to others. How nice if that projection is love and acceptance. 🙌🏼
Amen to this!!! #truthbomb right here.
Love love love this !!!!!!!!!
How important it is to accept ourselves ❤️🙌
That is the TRUTH!
I’ve been treated poorly by people over many years... so loving myself can be somewhat difficult .... but I’m slowly getting there
Good for you for doing the work friend.
Juan Arriaga, I read your comment and I can definitely relate. But I tell you what got me out of that position. I was told that the brain reacts to what you tell it. And As a child I was told many horrible things therefore I believe it. You are doing great if you are watching this channel. She is a professional ♥️ and yes keep motivating yourself. Tell your brain what you want to believe over and over again until it becomes a reality. I did that and my life changed!!! Over time. It's not one day after another. Also get away from the people that hurt you even if it's your own family. I did that too.
Its common me too although i have o many loving people around me its hard for me to recognize it
I know what you are saying. 😢
People always say that the things that irritate us about other people are the reflections of our own perceived shortcomings. This was the first time I've heard that the good things that draw us towards others is also a reflection of oneself. That blew my mind.
I've taken on a simple trick. Repeat this three times : "I love and respect myself". Then Repeat until you feel something. Sometimes it's as simple as a smile other times it feels like a jolt of love the goes through your whole body. It has helped me in accepting myself as a person.
This is beautiful Stanley - I'm so glad you've found something that's connecting.
thank you if anything I appreciate you sharing :) you are a wonderfull individual, never forget that
Im going to try this!
@@stacey3.5 added step, after you say I love and respect myself" three times, add in "I am love and respected"
@Stanley Guarnelo ; Try positive affirmations reprogramming meditations, it helps.
Im learning to be kinder to myself but I have to remember if a friendship fails that's not because I'm a bad person. Im still likeable.
Of course! Watch your brain doesn't trick you into believing thoughts that are not truths.
EXACTLY
Julia. You are in people's hearts and souls. We can sum it up and say,; if you dont love yourself,you will look ugly in front of others. If you love and trust yourself,you will look gorgeous in front of others
One problem I openly admit to having is a history of people telling me in some form or another that I'm no good or not enough and/or why. I'm learning to cut these people loose for reasons why they aren't good enough for me.
Good for you Dan. This is important.
@@juliakristinamah Thank you so much.🙂
Please don't be discouraged that your videos aren't getting a lot of views, We really love them and they will get what they deserve when people stop supporting idiots and start watching what's actually beneficial for them.
Thanks friend. I'm not discouraged at all. I'm incredibly grateful for each and every human who comes here to watch, learn, heal and grow.
"Loving and accepting yourself won't turn you into a blob". This phrase spoke to me. I've been trying to play video games to learn how to fail and problem solve in an environment with no real consequences. I know that this will be good for me and help alleviate some of my chronic anxiety. Yet, I'm afraid of becoming lazy. I also have lived my life to prove my actions and success to others. It's unhealthy and I want love myself more. Thank you Julia for this Sunny Side technique:)
I was watching a movie yesterday and the one character said something about love that really grabbed my attention.
He said, " Strength is measured by the lengths you go to for the people you love"
That's beautiful
Exactly as you described here Julia. I've always thought my negative thoughts were pushing me to be a better self. I've recently realized that I only do this because I "need" the approval of others. I can't honestly tell if I've for the last 10 years really done anything for just myself. I love your content and it really helps me to learn more about myself. Though it also kind of makes me sad to realize all these things.
Your videos have been helping me for years and I really appreciate you and your work.
Yes! She is amazing! ♥️
Same here!
Thanks sis - that means a lot.
I have found that it's an amazing relief to realize that the biggest nay-sayer in my life is my self only. Here is a virtual hug and hi-five to you Julia 🤗👐
Right back at you friend.
Sometimes my determination is anger towards what others have said and done to me. I don’t want that to be my motivation. I don’t want to prove anything to anyone. That’s a nagging endeavor. I’m allowing myself to actually dream what I dream is possible. What I dream is actually me. Thank you for saying what I been thinking and the positive affirmation for this new journey I’m on.
Love the part where "who can we prove ourselves to" argh 🥰
You are helping me becoming a better person everyday. Thank you!
You're doing the work Nicole - I'm just showing you how to use the tools.
Thank you, Julia- this is something I really struggle with. I was raised to always consider others before myself. This caused a lot of self devaluation and left me empty and yearning for validation from others which.... does not... come along.
I hear you Jen - there has to be space for others AND ourselves - the ourselves part being key.
This was incredible. The last 2-3 minutes of this video created a shift inside me and gave me a new tool I can use when I'm having a tougher day. I don't tend to comment much on TH-cam, but your videos were critical in helping my C-PTSD recovery over the last few months, and I appreciate you work more than you'll ever know. Keep shining.
This is beautiful Amanda. My light is just a reflection of yours. Sending you love.
Wow this was a great video!✨🤍 lately i’ve been learning it’s nice to take time to appreciate and be proud of yourself. I spend so much time thinking of the things i haven’t accomplished yet & hardly notice the things i have.
Yes! Time to make a habit of talking about all the reasons you're amazing.
Hello!
I'm surprised I got the notification for your new video as early as I did, and I'm glad I got the opportunity to watch!
I came across your channel recently through your videos about depression and codependent behavior, as my significant other suffers from depression. I was stuck in this mindset of thinking I had to be a hero, feeling like I would have failed him if I couldn't ease his pain. It was hard realizing I fell within the gray area of being both being empathetic and codependent, and I ended up draining myself mentally.
It got to the point where I felt like I didn't deserve the things I had and that I couldn't be happy because he wasn't happy. I'd end up valuing his needs over mine and ignoring the effect it had on me. I felt selfish for not tending to him first, and my own needs and issues just kept on piling up from there. It was scary realizing I couldn't get myself to enjoy the things I used to love doing--things that made me happy.
I feel I might've ended up drifting into depression myself if I hadn't decided to research my problem, finding your channel in the process. It was eye-opening watching your videos to say the least, and while it of course wasn't an instant fix to anything, it definitely provided me some new tools to start taking better care of myself.
There's a lot more I want to say, but I'm sure it'd be best if I left it here. I just want to say thank you for uploading these. Especially during the pandemic, it is relieving to know there is a place to go to just listen and learn about how to better myself and handle the things around me in a healthier way. Again, thank you so much, and I hope you stay safe!
Hey! I'm new to your channel, and find your videos really helpful! I'm gradually binging your videos!
Hi James - welcome here.
Hahaha so funny that comment you made about us possibly fearing that if we DO start feeling good about ourselves we might stop trying (and thus not improve), it reminds me of thinking when I was young that my extreme test anxiety actually helped me during tests, because it really made me fire on all cylinders. Then when I found a method to relax and used it for the first time, I actually got a FULL score on a test in University. Something that had never happened to me before. So stress wont help you perform better, and self loathing wont help you become a better person either. Love your videos by the way, even though you are so mesmerizing I have to look a way because I forget to listen to what you say. Too cute for the camera!
I saved this so I can replay again, I feel like I need to hear this message a few times :) . Thank you Julia!
The more I listen the more I feel the realness of this. Amazing!
The sunny side??? That's the most awesome, incredible, beautiful, amazing and HOPEFUL, ENCOURAGING and MOTIVATIONAL idea I've yet come across! Wow! Wow! and Wow! I reconise the Jungian 'shadow' idea, (or at least have recognised it in others, if not myself ...Wow again!), but the idea that the good and amazing qualities we most admire in others are a reflection of those qualities in ourselves?...that is mind-blowing!!! That is definitely my homework for this video topic. I am stunned...but hopefully in a good way, in a positive and motivational and encouraging way! Thank you, Julia! 👍❤❤❤
This is one of my favorites! Julia I learn each time you teach and grow within immensely. Thank you for the shift Society and all of your lovely contributions to mankind and to help the humans.
AMAZING VIDEO ,your response is always more powerful than your circumstance. A tiny part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses.
The goal isn’t to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings, and life circumstances. That's impossible. The goal is to, change your response to them today! And it's never too late. Just decide to make the best of it-to step forward again with grace. No excuses. No resistance. No regrets.
peace🕊
Hi Julia Kristin! You always help me look up. And, yes, I sometimes feel Uck when I have to realized I have to stifle severe incidents because hindsight put me in the face of my friends who need to manipulate me to not relate realities because the would be more cozy not hearing about it. Well! After overlooking this I am now physically nauseous with this kind of control and I always back down. But no more, I am loving me, and distancing from nauseium. Hooray!
Salve Doctore!
For years I felt my only motivation to be the fire of aggression and fury. I was forced to be strong with a family dynamic of " win or don't come home". Often ny siblings would wake me up just to fist fight or verbally fight.
I've only known to strong arm my emotions to fury in order to " get over them." Learning self care and how to love myself is difficult. This video strikes me with truth. But I need more.
Gratias Doctore.
Yes!! I am having the same problem you have solved. Somewhere I got dependent on this on the outside. I was looking at this again , the need for external approval , object referral vs self referral.
I love this term self solid. I define who I am, only me. I don't need outside permission/approval to be myself.
A few years ago , en route to my therapist I was thinking about the shadow and it dawned on me there is also a light shadow. She called it the Golden Shadow.
This is so very timely. TY Julia.
I like that you are so genuine and passionate about what you do and what you bring to others.
Thank you am on my journey of being my true authentic self , this is a life saver ❤
This is deep. Brilliant insight that the good things I see in other people are the qualities that I actually have otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see those qualities in other people. Love it! Really useful!
I absolutely have this "Negative motivation" as you called it, Need to be the best at everything and never fail, It causes me to have crazy amounts of endeavour and will to succeed and I dont think I would have achieved certain things without that drive, I'm not doubting you when you say thats not the case but Its just hard for me to imagine where else that motivation would come from...
I have just found your channel now and I am so thankful.! Thank you for making this channel.
Outstanding topic. I would like to love myself alone that my thoughts do not turn to a treat with food. Used to binge, but still like a treat. Similar question with using exercise as a reward.
I know who I am but appreciate this video. Many people don’t want to hear the truth but that’s how we learn. Still I am with a man who doesn’t live himself.I told him that if you don’t love yourself you cannot love someone else. Not sure how long we will last but I’m not a quitter
This video was SO AMAZING !!!! Thank you Julia! You are such a beautiful soul !! “You are just a good person & I really like you “ … god sent 🙏♥️
Thanks.
...I love myself enough. My challenge has been getting others to love me enough! 😁
this is such a lovely video. thank you for explaining the wisdom to love ourselves in a deeper way.
Julia, this was simply powerful. Wow. The power of words and truth.
Yes, I don't like to be alone with myself because of my negative thoughts. I usually go somewhere to be distracted where things are happening and I can just stop being present with my thoughts.
I hear you Bonnie. I used to struggle with that a lot too. I used to hate being stuck in the quiet with my mind.
I just wanted to express my gratitude to you Julia Kristina. I have no words to describe how lucky I feel that I found your TH-cam channel ❤️🙏 I have watched almost all of your videos in the past weeks, and it has absolutely changed my life 😊 I really appreciate all the things you have taught me, about my self and others. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. Your enthusiasm is so expiring. How you talk from the bottom of your heart; telling us about your own experiences, how you used to think about yourself and others in the past, and how you could transform yourself into the person you are today, gives us a faith that we can too. Your integrity, which I find so important and delightful, gives us the opportunity to really connect with you. My journey with you (watching the videos, taking in all your messages and going through this process of changing my mindset) has been amazing and I truly hope I can learn more and continue to transform myself as a part of the Shift Society 😊
Keep up doing this great work😉 👏👏👏 You are doing an awesome thing here 👍
Love the video. Self-love is a journey, I couldn't agree more. Meditation is a great way to practice loving our alone time with our thoughts. Thank you for your great content, Julia :)
Yes! I love some good mindfulness meditation.
Such a great video for me as I constantly and viciously berate myself all the time. Hopefully this will help me. Thanks Julia. ❤
I just got out of class and seeing your video come up made me so happy!! Loving ourselves more is a journey, but definitely a goal to shoot for! I hope you’re having a wonderful week ❤️
Hi Julia 🙂 I am still struggling with self-love and the inner critical thoughts 😔 Iam listening to this video right now. It is resonating with me very deeply! Well I'm going to go ahead and listen to the end and get ready for yoga. I feel so proud to be a part of the Shift Society ❤💯 Thank you 😊 Blessings on your day 🙏 ❤
I’m with you 100% and “standing solid” and without any Narcism. ❤️ External validation sucks don’t you think?
I don't think it inherently sucks - it's just a thing. It what we make it mean that can be helpful or unhelpful.
Striving for external validation sucks. Yes.
According to teal swan we are always seeking validation , emotional validation from others because we are a relational species. The fact we disregard validating other people’s feelings is what is perpetuating conflict within all humanity
I have love for myself, but I feel that I am struggling to have love for myself with the way that I express myself. I have been upset that I can express my thoughts well when I write or send a text, but it seems that when I talk, I cannot express my thoughts at the same level due to the self-rejection and frustration. I continue to improve this each day. thank you for the video.
Love your work, you always manage to make,me feel more like myself! Thanks for sharing this
Hi All the way from Australia 👋 Thank you Julia for your help🙏 your videos really resonate with me, I find them immensely useful and you have amazing insight. I am on a gradual journey to self love as a result of joining AA and living clean and sober for the first time in 30 years. It's a complex and one step forward two back kind of process and I find lots of guilt coming up. But I am trying my best♡Thank u so much🙏
Yes!! You hit this so perfectly, Julia! I am afraid to be alone with my thoughts because I don't like where my brain is going to take things. It's also literally a study in ADD because my brain takes me all over the place and I make myself crazy! Which, of course, contributes to the initial problem of lacking self love. I'm making progress but at 56 I'm impatient to make this happen.
I love you Julia, you don't know (maybe you know) how much you help me. Have a great day ^^. Thanks!
Hello, I’m new to your channel but I just wanted to say thank you and I hope this touches so many more people like it already has me
Julia, u're one of the best friend, teacher that i've got. Thanks
Hello Julia I was a jazz pianist/singer for most of my life. NOw have Ataxia trying to accept it and stay positive. thank you
Finally it’s clear, thank you so much. I have realized that my motivation indeed mostly used to come from self-hate and self-rejection. And reflecting on this makes me see that as soon as I exclude hate from my system my progress immediately boosts. Thank you for helping me put my thoughts on the right shelves. And apologies for being skeptical earlier!
Thank you so much. I really liked the healthy and unhealthy motivation. The unhealthy motivation is in my life currently more present and it's not working for me (at all), it blocks me completely/gets me stuck. So I'm glad to hear that there's an other way, that also feels loads better!!! And I start being friendlier more understanding with myself and I have my back. Thank you so much. Love your videos!!!
Oh, wow, this really resonated with me. I think I am my worst enemy and I have been feeling this for the last year. I believe the pandemic and staying at home, being alone most of the time (and a failed relationship I've put a lot of my hopes in) has brought up this more and more to a really huge extent. I am trying to truly understand what it means to be kind to myself and not only from the theoretical side of it, cause I know deep down this will be the right thing to do but how do I actually do it is the real struggle for me...
It’s a long slow road for me to completely love myself but the sound advice you give is giving me more motivation to try so thank you 🙏🏻
Thanks for sharing this, Julia! It’s been a journey I’ve been on for a while now. I was told often that I was too hard on myself and really, I was. I just couldn’t see it for way too long. Now I try to catch those “hard” thoughts and challenge them. I often ask myself, “Would you say that to a good friend?” That has helped me change my inner dialogue. Keep shining your beautiful light!
Hello! Thank you for your knowledge and tips, has been awesome in my journey of self discovery!
Thank you Julia Cristina!! This is a great reminder to keep doing the work needed to find a deeper love for self. I appreciate you & all the knowledge you share ❤
Amazing post Julia thanks for all you do-
WHEN YOU SHINE from within you don’t need to be in the spotlight😃
peace🕊
Hey ,I am new in your channel .I love how good you explain about every important topic and make it easier to understand
Really glad it connected and really glad you're here.
I recently came across this video and I'm thankful I came across your channel and I just subscribed! I'm struggling a lot with loving myself, respecting myself and a bunch of other things. This year and a half have been a struggle and I'm currently going through a very difficult time. I'm continuing to watch other videos and also about depression and anxiety and among other things I need help in my life. Are there videos about selfishness? The signs of being selfish and how to stop being selfish? That is my biggest issue, I'm 41 and I really don't want to live the rest of my life being like this and among other problems. I'm glad I found you and hopefully will help me! 🙏❤️
Just found this channel recently and subscribed. Really enjoying the content and this video is also great.
Thank you so much.
Awesome. I needed this message. Thanks
I really need this Thankyou! Your a life changer, watching your videos makes me feel better. God bless you ✨✨
I do love me some Jung. I find his work fascinating. We spend so much time focusing on the darker/less desirable parts of ourselves , in some need to "fix" it; it is nice that we can look at the Sunny Side, and celebrate it.
Thank you thank you thank you for this video I've come across a lot of men and women in this seems to be the situation I'm posting the video on my Facebook page two friends so they'll post it as well this is just so fitting I've been looking for other persons in your field who have these sites and I've been sharing your videos I know I feel better about myself and there's a lot more people out there who could use some great advice just to make things a little easier and happier have a great day
We only see, feel what we are able to see and feel ....and it is always possible to expand our view ...
Thankyou for being so raw honest and open.. i really needed this
I like good listeners, people that can be a fellow human being without one-upping or one-downing, people who have creative outlets, introspective people.
Your videos are very enlightening for me. They have helped me understand and have better verbiage to explain how I’ve been feeling for a while. I’m now definitely a virtual student of yours 😁 and am excited to watch your content to aid in my personal growth. Thank you!! 💕
Self-love is the #1 thing in life - I appreciate you sharing this! I discuss the same idea in the 5th to last video on my channel & it's included in my compilation video today too, all from a parenting context. I hope videos like ours really inspire people to prioritize self-love! I just subscribed to your channel also, keep it up.
I LOVE your content! The knowledge you share has helped SOOO much. I really really REALLY appreciate it!
Here's a foundation metaphor for you for futures reference cause the work you're doing is digging up the ground (showing us the issues), it's up to us to place the forms (practice), and for us to pour the concrete for a solid foundation (form new habits) so we can build a lasting home on this new foundation.
Just a thought. Thanks again for all the insight!!
This is definitely an incredible corner on the internet 👍
Holy crap this was a good one and i need to listen again and maybe again until it sinks in! You are so my new best counselor holy im blown away! Thank you for you! ✌🙏🌞
Brand new subscription here! A friend recommended your channel to me and, as an ENFJ, I am finding your content highly relatable and useful 🥰🥰🥰🥰
You are a young, beautiful and wise woman. I'm from Malaysia. I have watched a few of your videos, especially the one about Boundaries, how true. Thank you very very much.
Wow , amazing thought 🙏 I will notice from now what quality I like about people I admire and see if I can find it in myself .
Actually, I'm eating alot before a German language exam I have tomorrow at age 52. I am soooo much more motivated with a belly, which I never had , out of self hate, and have a date with somone tomorrow who is in self hate ( I can totally tell) age 39. I went out to ight as me , after 5 years of hiding in this country. I gave a million new meanings to tomorrow , I just chose the date and everything is manifesting around it. A completely different energy.
Everything you are explaining is correct. We change and grow when we love and when we live everything explodes. But ! I still have more shadow work to do. I love your homework. I got it in 2 seconds where you were going with that. You got it girl!
Thank you Very much Julia this video has taught me or rather to learn how to love myself.
Your fantastic and I thoroughly enjoy you learning how to love myself is a journey I've been on for 51 years and now that I've left my husband and taking control of my life and not being abused anymore you mean everything and I don't miss an episode! In. #nolongerstrugglinginoklahoma
Hey Julia Kristina,
You are the greatest, thank you!
Thanks Julia. You help me a lot! Greetings from Guadalajara, Mexico
The first love of life should be self love.
@maria gyg Wow
maria gyg yep totally !!!
Hi Julia..amazing work you have here😍😍
hi, awesome video and videos!!! I found your channel by chance, but I am so happy I did! I haven't even seen all of your videos, but you have helped me immensely already! You usually ask what touched us in the video. In this one the fact that we base our self-love on external items, like how we are included or appreciated. It's really true! I am sick of feeling good or bad based on what happens around me. I'll have to work on the homework. I never stopped to think why I like my friends or the people around me.
Thank you again! Looking forward to watching all of your videos, past and future :) (I also submitted to be on the wait list for the SHIFT Society :))
Coming to know about self....liking self more. Keeping in mind......people can like me or not ,it’s ok. Acceptance desired.., approval not required
I have lived a struggling life with no support system and some of my decisions have been questionable to say the least, it has been hard on my children. I find myself feeling judged by myself with such acid that I can't stand it. All I want is to be able to make amends and move forward.
Read the "Whole brain child" by Daniel J. Siegel. It may help you and your family. Take care
The use of the word actually in the title is apt.
I watched the whole thing! Thank you for your videos!
Loving your work, thank you!
Thank you so much for this channel! So needed! I operated on unhealthy motivation for years. Do you have more information on unhealthy motivation?
This is SO helpful. I love your page.
Thank you for such a beautiful message!
Here Julia! 💕 Yes we both hate being in our own heads! Ty for all you do!💖
This is one of the best most constructive messages I've heard.
Hello havent watched in awhile. I believe your great, thank you for being here