@@seejendo3290 exactly! We’re no universal machines. Even though there might be universal laws they don’t apply to everyone or show themselves in very different ways 🤖
You may benefit from looking up shaman gender and how shamans were often neurodivergent people, were outside the boundaries of the gender binary, and were allowed and even encouraged to be this way in several native societies
I think I can relate to this and I am a female. Though I also can relate to a few "female" brained and "male" brained things, I definitely have a very neurodivergent and non-binary gender neutral/gender balanced spectrum mind/brain. 🙄🧠
@@alexc2265 That is so cool and interesting because I can relate to original comment and I have interest in shamanism and write about that subject a lot as well.
My mentor gave me that advice and told me that sometimes good enough is better but it’s given me so much anxiety over how do I know when something is good enough.
After much deliberation over this myself, I've come to the conclusion that nothing is really perfect. Everyone has a different perspective on things, & everyone's idea of perfect is different. Even our own ideas of perfect are subject to change. Therefore, perfection is actually a fallacy. (This isn't to say that it don't still struggle with this. But it does help to realize I think). The perfectionist in me wants to say that done isn't necessarily better than perfect, but that getting it out there is more important than perfection. &, as with this video, corrections are always able to be made. Never let a lack of perfection hold you back. Often we learn the most from dialogue with others, & you might not have that if you never put it out there. Most people appreciate things that are imperfect more than things that they perceive as perfect anyway. Perfection is unrelatable
I really appreciate that you took the time to reflect on what you have said in the past because that’s EXACTLY what the entire autism community needs to do. There’s still so much we don’t know and so many gaps in the research. Even as the research evolves, most practitioners, parents, and people don’t keep up with it. I’m literally planning my life (with an autistic husband and two autistic toddlers) around changing careers so I can get a PhD and research subtypes, improving diagnostic instruments, and educating the entire community of people who support autistic people. We have to change this... we’re better than we were but we’re still so far from where we need to be.
I’m with you! I’m an Aspie with a husband diagnosed with ADHD, two kids with twice exceptions. I moved my career in to the Functional Nutrition, Medical Cannabis, and herbalism worlds, currently studying fundamentals in neuroscience. My goal is to change the perspectives and support the community as a whole. Let’s connect!
@@littleblackdrezz how old are your kids? Im still quite early in my journey (2 year old girl and 4 year old boy) but twice exceptional is likely true for mine too.
See Jen Do - thx for stating this appreciation clearly. 1st two sentences - brilliant!!! 3rd sentence - keeping up with the cutting edge of thinking while worthwhile is exhausting & some times we need to give eating, sleeping and general life (processing, reflection, etc) time too. Quite agree.
@@lynngrant4023 Twice exceptional means you are both above average and disabled especially in a school setting. So you might be both in a gifted program and a special education program in school. This happened to me but I never heard the term until I was an adult.
Hi Sam, as an autistic professor of clinical psychology, this is exactly what I strive to do - to teach my students to be critical thinkers and scientists who are knowledgeable but critical of the way that we define mental "illness" vs. mental health, of what should even be considered a "mental disorder" vs. normal ND development, gender identity, sexual orientation etc. Must say: the new generation give me hope, (at least here in North America) they are really pushing for divergence at every level to be viewed as, not just the norm, but the heart of the future... we are getting there 🙂
I wonder if the disproportionate diagnoses of males is partly due to the tendency for society to view sensitivity and shyness as problematic in males. So if a male child is disturbed by sensory stimuli or if he doesn't engage with social situations, maybe society notices it as a problem that needs to be fixed instead of just classifying it as a difference in personality. I'm not trying to say that men have it worse though. I'm sure women are subjected to as many or more social expectations. But maybe society has just historically viewed femaleness as a sort of disorder on its own so that any differences are just attributed to the person being female. I'm thinking of the hysteria example; even when a woman had an actual medical problem, doctors might have just labeled it as hysteria and viewed it as a "normal" part of being a woman. And maybe a man experiencing the same condition would instead be labeled as weak/unmanly and thus excluded from maleness, preserving the construct of maleness as strength and leadership, but only by excluding men labeled as "weak" and boxing them into a disorder.
That's an interesting take, but given the spectrum aspect of autism I've always had the thought that maybe given the "different wiring" of human brains everyone has some level of it. To treat people as "disordered" because of a variation in their brains is like expecting people to be as similar in functioning as a computer's OS, the first time I was introduced to the idea that trans and autism can overlap was actually in one of Jessie Gender's video about autism and neuroatypical characters in Star Trek
This is interesting. While I don't want to discredit the stress amab autistic children might face and how their "unfitting male" behaviour might get them diagnosed faster...there are tons of very male-presenting men and boys that do not have an autism diagnosis. Neurodivergency is not per se male. Male behaviour (what ever that may be) is not necessarily unwanted in our society. Actually the other way around if you are presenting a little less girly as a woman and show more androgynous or traditionally male in your clothing and speech, you are more likely to be taken seriously in your job. For example ngela Merkel, scientist or not, would have had a much harder time with her political carreer if she'd presented as a very traditionally feminine woman in a flowy dress, flower crown and long braided hair. Afab children get a lot less lenience when it comes to social behaviour. Girls get "corrected" much faster if their behaviour is not geared towards socially fitting in. Because of that I would expect their behaviour much more formed by society from a young age ( but at the same time these traits they are trained for are seen as less good than males, so even if theymanage to achieve to perfectly display "the perfect little girl" to the outside they still lose in the long run...it's kinda messed up tbh) Avoiding body or eye contact, disruptive behaviour in class, (selective) mutism, being a loner, obsessing about certain subjects or just not being very nuturing/caring with their siblings is seen as much more normal neurotypical boy-behaviour , so if a afab child shows this kind of behaviour chance is high that they either forced to learn how to mask prettyfast or fail and get ever changing diagnoses.
I hate to say it, but another huge part of females not being properly diagnosed, does start very early. I got lucky, my pediatrician and me were on the same page. We both looked at my middle child, when she was a year old, and went “something isn’t clicking here, something is off and we need to find out what”. At that time, her father was with us (he was abusive and manipulative, so it took my aunt kicking him out of her house and forcing him to Florida, with his mom, to get me free of that) and he kept saying “my cousins were like this and that and they’re fine now. Don’t worry she’s normal. There isn’t anything wrong with her!” And my mom senses were going off so hard, I had actual mental breakdowns. I KNEW something was not okay, I KNEW she had SOMETHING “wrong”. Once he was out of the picture, I went back to her doctor and I said straight out: “Her dad is finally gone, I don’t have to listen to him gaslight me into thinking it’s all okay. I think she has autism and I want you to give me your honest opinion on this and help me with the next steps.” As soon as I finished saying it, he confirmed he felt the same way and gave me the referral for Early Intervention. I got her enrolled in therapeutic services that were delivered, in house, under my ever watchful and protective eye. I saw every session, I helped out, I learned what to do to help her improve in things, such as comprehension on social skills, walking straighter (she would walk into things or fall down the stairs otherwise and I’m sorry - I like my child alive and not seriously harmed, so I felt correcting that wasn’t a bad thing). She had occupational therapy and speech, physical and I always forget the last one... anyway; because *I* had the feeling, because *I* had experience with an autistic MALE cousin, because *I* am so hyper aware of society and what they deem as “normal” and “abnormal”, *I* was able to identify a “problem” and conclude what it COULD be - and bloody well did something about it. If more parents were aware of anything, more people would be getting the help they need, early on. Not to say the parents who aren’t like me, are bad. Just that if the understanding was more president and the information more accessible, in a way Neurotypical people can comprehend, it could help reduce later misdiagnosis in adult and teen-hood. Now, let me just say: my middle child was very disconnected and generally just existed in the world and didn’t seem to be a part of it. That’s what triggered my mom senses. For my youngest child, she presented way way WAY differently than her sister and at first it didn’t click, but by 10 months I was like: “H O L D on... no, that’s not considered normal, I’m getting that vibe again...” And what did I do? “Doctor, I noticed this, that and this and she has this habit - is it normal? Could this be another representation of autism?” And what happened? Referral, diagnosis, treatment in home; with me glaring at the therapist, like I’d murder them, if they did one thing to upset my child or hurt them. (They didn’t like me much, I am way too protective of my children and can be very aggressive once I see my child in discomfort. Which one therapist found out, the hard way... 🙈🙊) If it wasn’t for me and their doctor, my girls would of never been diagnosed. They would of never gotten therapy and at this stage, they would of been struggling a hundred times more, than they naturally are. The point that people all represent differently occurs in all things, all topics and areas of existence. The lack of knowledge in these areas and the way people have to box things neatly, ruins literally everything. Until that changes, my OPINION is, more light shed on Autism in general, to parents, could drastically help the community and humanity in general. Learning to recognize Neurodivergency as early as possible, could frankly help normalize “the outcasted minority of abnormal people” and maybe even help broaden the labels - from “male” and “female” symptoms to “autism” symptoms.
"maybe society has just historically viewed femaleness as a sort of disorder on its own" ive been thinking this for a while but could never articulate it but I think you are so right with this. its so sad to think but i genuinely believe that this is why women have a hard time getting diagnosed with things like adhd/asd. I also think it contibutes a lot to women being over-diagnosed or misdiagnosed with things like depression and anxiety because i think to men historically they thought that being a women was something inherently to be depressed about (or something like that I'm very bad at putting my thoughts into words sometimes)
I've only been on this journey for a few months, but...after talking to the folk on your Discord, and watching many of the explosion of "This is what autism looks like in women" videos, it became fairly clear that if we're going to split autism into two "types", the gender split is coincidental rather than causal. It's actually much closer to "well-masked and ostensibly functional" vs "caught in childhood" - because almost all of the people who're coming into this later in life present exactly according to the broad "female autism" type, almost by definition - we're the ones who've learned to cope with the world, through a combination of masking, societal expectations and often at least one unintentionally helpful autistic parent (who grew up exactly the same way, but without a diagnosis themselves). The fact that most female incidence of autism tends to be of this type is likely a combination of young girls being more socially adaptable and the social expectations placed on them by their peers, whereas boys (from my anecdotal experience) tend to have smaller, less socially-diverse social groups where the incentive for adaptation can be significantly lower. Equally, of course, I could be completely off-base, 'cos I'm well aware that I don't know enough about it yet, and my pool of research volunteers has been somewhat self-selecting ;) EDIT: I forgot to say...way to go for setting an example, Sam! Correcting yourself publicly when new information comes to light is both very important and very much "not easy", particularly in a relatively closed community.
I have definitely noticed a 'female autism traits' type of explosion on youtube, and some articles. Which while it can help some more people get diagnosed, it also leads to a lot of other confusion. And I've talked to some people who identify male, but have mainly 'female autism traits' who were starting to question their diagnosis. I just feel like there's a way these videos can be made to bring attention to less typical autism traits, while also mentioning their common occurrence in females. While also making it clear throughout the video that it isn't just a 'female autism trait to watch out for'. This video is a great example! A good discussion on all aspects of it really. (Just another thing that kinda annoys me is these channels by people who were diagnosed 10 years ago and like "Hi I have aspergers and here are 10 aspie traits to look out for". It's fine to call yourself that, particularly if that's how you feel comfortable, but still acknowledge that that term isn't really used anymore and anyone with ASD can show a whole range of traits.)
@Jaiden Oliver Asperger’s syndrome is still included in ICD-10. Not all countries use the DSM-V. I’ve been part of large autistic women’s groups and I would say that, while most of those I interacted with seemed to fall into the “female traits” category, there was no shortage of women who seemed to present in the “typically male” fashion. Personally, I’ve never felt like I fit into the feminine mold-not at all submissive, very opinionated and outspoken and interested in (some) subjects usually considered male oriented. Writing this out, it now seems kind of silly to me. So much of gender is socially constructed anyway. I never was a girly girl (although I look like one) but never wanted to be a boy, or felt envious of their opportunities to do certain things, either. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve leaned more towards asexuality and now I wonder how much of my cis gendered past was social masking. I *do* remember when my friends started to get interested in boys, I followed along, because it seemed like that’s what I was supposed to do. I could go on but that’s enough of a rant for now. Cheers Jaiden!
I couldn’t agree more with your support of her having the courage to openly reflect on past attitudes and knowledge and change after we learn better. Not easy for rigid thinkers and an excellent example to us all as you said. Blessed be.
It's also possible to start out as a "caught in childhood" type but then later in life become a "well-masked and ostensibly functional" individual. That's how it went for me.
" It's actually much closer to "well-masked and ostensibly functional" vs "caught in childhood" You know what, I think it's actually just "adult" vs. "childhood" autistic traits. I was diagnosed as a child, but now I relate much with the "female" traits. I think part of the reason women have the "female" traits is just because they get diagnosed later so they learn to mask before they get diagnosed, and a large part of the reason they get diagnosed later is because they were overlooked due to sexism.
I think much of the over-representation of non-binary in autistic people comes from the fact that we do not effortlessly fit into current social systems but have to learn them from scratch and through this process rarely just accept things for what they are. We wanna know what and when and WHY (and by extension: how can I make this more effective so that less of my daily energy is spent abiding to it). And gender, being a mostly performative thing, is hardly spared from this scrutiny.
Not sure about 'over-representation'. Suggest there's too many of us being diagnosed? But yes I love questioning the value society places on difference and how that impacts different groups of people. Is gender mostly performative? I think that's the most visible aspect but not necessarily the largest. For me it's about 90% internal, 7% presentation and about 3% performative. But maybe I'm misunderstanding it? I'm still learning all the language around gender identity and it's quite a lot to take in. I feel like performing gender is what I did when I was in the closet :')
@@LaurArt_UK With over-representation I mean that the percentage of people with autism that identify as non-binary is clearly higher than the neurotypical general populace; statistically higher than the norm. I probably generalised too much about gender being mostly performative. For ME, the only things I have read regarding identity that gave me one of those aha-moments, you know one of those - that's exactly it - was when I read Judith Butler. She defines ANY identity, gender or other, as completely performative, meaning whatever you do enough, you will identify as. The only thing I clearly identify as is autistic, which by that definition makes sense since I "do autism" every day, whether I like it or not. To a lesser extent I guess I also identify as a parent and a musician. I try to raise a child and I make a lot of music. At one point in my life I identified as an alcoholic, because I drank all the time. But man? Woman? As the definition of the words associated with these, masculine and feminine, vary over time and between cultures, I could never find anything that rang true with myself. It just seemed made up. So, I don't identify in that regard. This I would assume would put me under the non-binary umbrella (which is a pretty wide one) but not even that word means all that much to me. I recently stumbled over the term "gender void" which more than non-binary signals "I am not playing this game". That one I like, but it's just the definition of opting out.
This only applies to people who base their sense of self on sexist stereotypes. I’m an autistic woman, that just means I’m an adult human female. I couldn’t care less about “performing gender”. The fact that I don’t fit into societal expectation doesn’t make me “not a woman”. People who claim that this makes them non-binary are following sexist reasoning.
@@jigsawpuzzle6789 I don't think anyone did. No-one but yourself can tell you what you identify as. But to agree with any of the reasoning here I think you will need to be on the side that claim gender is a social construct. And if you do you there is nothing stopping you to identify or claim to identify as anything you like regardless of how you perform, since the identity gained by performing _anything_ cannot be judged other than completely subjective anyway. It's more a question of being honest with yourself.
@@MammaApa To clarify, I don’t “identify” as a woman, the idea that it is possible to “identify” as a woman is incredibly sexist. The idea of “gender”, the social construct, as referred to in this conversation is sex-stereotypes, why would anyone want to create an “identity” based on stereotypes? That’s so regressive. I reject these stereotypes and just use the sex-based definition of woman (adult human female). I don’t believe in the idea of “woman gender identity”/”feeling like a woman”. The same logic applies to the word man. When non-binary people claim that they’re not men/women, they are admitting that they support these sexist stereotypes or they think being a man/woman is a mystical gender feeling.
The intersection between being trans and autistic is a really tough one. In California where I live, trans people can be denied insurance coverage for medical transition if they have an autism diagnosis. Part of the reason I haven't been diagnosed is because I knew I could be denied top surgery with that diagnosis, so I prioritized top surgery. I had a friend in college who was a trans man diagnosed with autism in childhood, and because of that he couldn't get testosterone, top surgery or even a reduction. He couldn't bind either due to other health complications. Because "gender issues" and "confusion" are one of many traits listed under autism in the DSM V, our gender dysphoria is denied and untreated because we supposedly can't have both. It's a MASSIVE problem in the psychology community, and because autism research in women, let alone transgender people being extremely far behind, we have a LONG way to go. And its REALLY frustrating being caught in the middle of it.
@@azulizachan7595 i think it's because (and someone talked about this in another comment so you may want to have a read through if youre interested) autistic people may have trouble understanding social constructs like boundaries, how to behave in certain situations, gender roles, etc. they would be less likely to accept these things as fact and would want to know why? why does society expect these things of me and why should i go along with it? there is some truth to this as there is a high proportion of trans and non binary people in the autistic community.
@Edith Waters absolutely agree, very well said. it's a good point that people generally don't take autistic people seriously. same thing happens with other common traits like sensory sensitivity, people just tell us to get over it as if they either don't understand our brains are wired different or they just don't care. plus, the existence of cis autistic people proves that autism doesn't just cause you to be trans.
I really appreciated your first video on this topic, but I am even happier with this video! I am nonbinary myself and tend to reduce myself to my female assignment at birth when others do so. Now with you presenting a wider perspective on gender and autism I feel very seen and I am more able to see and validate myself. So thank you! (Sorry for my weird english, I'm not a native speaker)
You shouldn't apologize for not being a native english speaker. And your english is very good anyway. Although i don't know what you mean with "when others do so".
@@masonnix9566 She is autistic and I am also autistic. Autism is a spectrum, which presents differently in everyone. Some autistic people are nonverbal and cannot speak at all, but have a strong connection with nature and are able to communicate with animals. Autism is not a range of deficits and this neurological difference means that we simply have a different way of perceiving the world. Autism is not necessarily a disability because we are abled in a different way. Some autistic people can speak and may appear neurotypical. However, the person is still autistic because autism is an invisible condition. In society, autism is described as a type of person separate from society, which I believe is completely fine. I don’t see this as a problem as many neurotypical people may see it.
And the threat of eugenics is FAR from gone. It’s part of why I get VERY nervous about genetic research and autism. I think there are definitely things we can get out of it, but it would be soooo easy to start down the very slippery slope of prevention and... worse.
So many babies are killed every day just because they are already diagnosed with some sort of "disability". It's a horrible abomination to do this but it keeps happening more and more as prenatal genetic testing grows.
@Pablo Moreno Cordón This reminded me of a thought experiment I heard when taking philosophy; "Parents have four children born blind and four born deaf, what do you do with the ninth child?" "Abort them." Congratulations, you just killed Beethoven." Just because there might be some disabled person doesn't mean they can't be useful in some way, I knew someone with Down's Syndrome at my church and he was the nicest person I'd seen
This is important to talk about. I am pro abortion in any case where a person feels like they will not be a good parent. Better that than a live child facing abuse or neglect. There are already too many children who have been forced into the world and then abandoned. Unfortunately, many people are not equipped to handle a child with any kind of disability and don't really think about that before trying to have kids. Having kids is just the thing you're supposed to do. I'm an antinatalist and don't like the idea that any children are born since you can't consent to existence. Unfortunately, biology makes this unrealistic, so whatever will cause the least amount of harm to a child is the best option. Autism and many mental illnesses can still offer a person a quality of life that isn't just pain. There are some disorders where a person will know nothing but pain and I think it is monstrous to insist on having that child because that's somehow the moral option. Yes, this whole thing is a slippery slope, but not everything is about seeing someone as lesser. Sometimes, the compassionate choice is to spare someone from existing when their life will be complete misery. Life is not a gift for everyone, and it would be completely selfish to assume that it is.
@@andrewmalinowski6673 That person might be useful so we have to allow them to be born. That's just as reductive. That takes away the idea that this person is an individual who has to live their life and might just be an ordinary person.
I think one of the reasons diagnostic criteria are set as they are, is that Autism is predominately identified/diagnosed in children, and the level of insight required to answer those "why" type questions to an accurate and satisfactorily discriminatory degree is not often enough going to be developed enough in young children. As I'm writing this I'm noticing this video is 3 years old and this comment will undoubtedly be going into the void lol. Hello void.
Sam, I'm a mother searching for answers and support for my 15 y.o. daughter. I'm happy to finally have found your channel. Your videos have helped me and her a lot! I see that she has become more aware and happy to know she's not alone. Having a place where she can find her peeps is very comforting. Thank you a lot.
I stopped seeing psychologist when i was like 16 because nothing they said fit and they put me on meds for anxiety because my meltdowns then meds for bi polar
Don’t worry! It shouldn’t really be called “female autism” it’s just inattentive type of autism which is more common In afab’s, which led to it being labeled as “female” . amab’s can have it aswell but it’s just more common in afab’s
@@kittycraft1012 male and female characteristics could both be used to diagnose a person if both male and female characteristics are used then the diagnosis would be all inclusive for people with either male or female autism
I've only ever had the ADHD diagnosis but so many people tell me I have a male brain despite being a cis woman. This has given me so much doubt about my validity as a woman. Using gender signifiers for personality traits can be really harmful.
Maybe they say that because you’re more logical or not gullible/not manipulated that easily because you analyze people more? Even though a lot of males these days are followers too
OMG! I am so happy that someone is talking about Maria Montessori had some eugenics ideas in her book! Because everyone talks only about how amazing she was and when I started reading I start to feel crazy! Like “am I seeing stuff where there isn’t ?”
I wonder if that’s why my mom gets so defensive about people being described as autistic and starts saying how she disagrees with it. She read it and used a lot of the methods as she could with my education.
Definitely the "Autism symptoms in girls" video was an eye-opener for me, and a great first step in breaking the cis-male-white-boy stereotype. As everything in life, autism is complex and varied. Thanks for always make us look for more than just the surface, and strive to open the spec to every autistic. Learning and knowledge are always great to make changes happen.
@@lynngrant4023 in chemistry two structures can be identical except for the 3d structure. If the structure has two "groups" on the SAME side its known as CIS but opposite sides its known as "trans". Well you know what trans sexuality is... The rest are cis... Basically it's non-trans.
@@lynngrant4023 opposite of transgender. Cis (meaning “same side”) is the opposite prefix to trans (across/beyond/on the other side). So cisgender means you identify as the gender you were assigned at birth.
Long before being diagnosed as autistic, I spent my whole life being called "girly." I definitely fit more in with "female autism" stereotypes. I appreciate your time for teaching more nuance.
Seriously - I wasn’t diagnosed but the closest non-autistic diagnoses I saw were like,,, Schizoid personality disorder and schizotypal personality disorder. And I was like..........yeah but no?
Same. I was misdiagnosed with APD. The guy never asked "why?". Such a simple, short question would have told him I didn't fit avoidant personality, if he just bothered to ask why I did things rather than assuming why I did them.
Funny thing about that extreme male brain nonsense. I'm a cis white male on the spectrum who had a lot of the most characteristic traits in full force (right down to reading computer magazines before I was old enough to be eligible for kindergarten) and I was a *hugely* emotionally sensitive child... as in "I couldn't win a dispute with my younger brother because I'd feel his distress more strongly than he would". Granted, going to high school almost drove me to nervous breakdown and the emotional calluses never went away, but I *did* used to be that sensitive.
@@NobodyssGirl But racialization is. We're discussing a developmental disorder which shows up during the formative years, so the way you're treated in early life is going to massively affect how it is expressed.
Why do you label yourself “cis white male” and don’t just say you’re a man? just curious, everyone can choose how to call themselves of course. Regarding the other parts of your comment: one doesn’t exclude the other - but I believe that’s what you implied. A lot of men are very emotional that’s also why they do way more of the emotionally charged crimes than women on average - if they can’t control extr. emotions and become viol. That’s why it is indeed nonsense to claim men are not emotional by nature. They’re usually not as sensitive or empathic as women though but that is usually a result of socialization. If you encourage a young child/boy to be sensitive and empathic usually he will become more of both compared to when you encourage a boy to suppress it. At least for neurotypical individuals. But I believe it’s somewhat similar in autistic people maybe. The exception are people who have a severe malignant personality disorder (sometimes! already visible in childhood by how they treat animals etc)
Your autism in girls video is what made me realize I was autistic, that was a long time ago. When talking about autism to other people, I used to mention "autism presentation in females", at one point a male friend told me he related to some of the traits that I was calling feminine autistic traits. and that's when I realized it didn't sit right with me to call those traits feminine. I absolutely love that you created this video as an update, it really articulates the problem with autism and gender. I think keeping your original video up is great as well, because it helped me get diagnosed and I can only imagine how many others it helped! As always, I love your content :)
Thank you so much for this. I've reached out to other TH-cam creators who are still pushing this binary form of autism. THERE IS JUST AUTISM, AUTISM IS NOT GENDERED. Sorry for the caps. I'm a trans woman with friends who are nonbinary and other transgender people, who all are confused when autism is explained in a binary sense. Again thank for bringing up the overwhelming link with autism and the lgdtqia+. ❤️❤️🥰 All this makes my heart happy.
Obviously autism isn’t gendered but at the same time the way we are treated as we grow up has an impact on the way we show our autistic traits and people who are seen as girls are treated differently to people who are seen as boys
@@ellenm9860 patriarchy affects all people differently & it's only one part of the puzzle. There's a lot of things that goes into how you show your traits, like were they living in ableist community (some families, especially poor/ immigrants have very bad tolerance towards any sign of disabilities), were they black, if they were queer etc. All of these things can force you to mask harder no matter your gender or perceived sex. Living in "similar" culture doesn't mean it will result in the same impact.
Yup, I'm a trans man who basically has what's called the "female presentation". =D TBH, that's never actually bothered me, specially since I know cis men who have this presentation as well. But I agree with you. I think with time it would be more helpful to simply see them as different traits, which can also come mixed, I've seen them mixed in people before. Over time, with more understanding, I think there should be more normalization of all these traits inside a spectrum.
Shy sensitive masks? Cold tactless logical? It depends what mood I'm in hehe! I feel better after that video because being white male cis and presenting supposedly like a female felt weird because I felt maybe I was appropriating something. I even felt as a child and adolescent that I was born in the wrong body, but it was nothing to do with gender, I think it was a variation on the sensation of "being an alien". It would be nice to have a non-gendered way of putting one's characteristics on the spectrum and that theme was something I really identified with in the video.
I am a cis woman (well maybe slightly on an agender scale) and I have mostly "male" traits except I mask heavily. But I never felt less of a woman because of it. I think traits by themselves in general don't really have gender qualities, just what we project into them. So I absolutely agree 😄
I will always respect people who can admit when they need to correct their thinking. I'm so happy to have people who love to continue to grow, in this community.
@@antler8019 Ah, I should have been more clear in my phrasing. I meant to say "Sorry for making an off-topic comment, but I LOVE this new paint colour".
I love this! The way I can make sense of this concept of "gendered autism" now is to think that women are socialised so differently that our autism tends to look different to an outside observer, the same way that female behaviour in general tends to look different from male due to nurture and societal expectations. As long as that is the case, I think that's important to recognise, especially if that leads to more women being diagnosed. I'm a woman diagnosed age 34 and it's exactly those problematic "10 female autistic traits" videos led to me seeking a diagnosis which has been a wonderful thing in my life. At the same time, the binary gender stereotyping always felt a bit uncomfortable. I am cis but relatively indifferent to my gender and I've never felt particularly "girly" or feminine and I've always thought gender stereotyping is rubbish in general, so I love that you're talking about this and I totally agree that the mental health field needs an overhaul!
I always thought that the different presentation had to do with cultural / societal tendencies. I feel very comfortable around other autistics regardless of gender, as regardless of presentation, there’s an underlying foundation of ‘rightness’ to me. So, I think using what we considered the ‘female’ presentation as something more like a larger part of the autistic patchwork, we can be more inclusive while not throwing out the differing presentations. It would also be nice to see common autism symptoms from outside the western world. People are complicated and confusing. 😝
The most telling sign of autism I've seen, which is present in an overwhelming majority of cases, is a disillusionment with societal norms, and the belief that they could be changed for the better, and in many cases a willingness to lead by example in rejecting a few of these norms. These could be linguistic norms, gender roles, public etiquette, or societal power structures. This explains Tumblr, Marx, Silicon Valley, Richard Stallman, Louis XIV, and Robespierre, among others.
Thank you for this update! As someone who is non-binary but was assigned female I certainly found your original video very helpful (I think was the first video of yours I watched) but there was always this nagging feeling of invalidation in my mind whenever I see it or videos similar to it on the matter. I agree we should definitely move our language and understanding instead to "less common" or "less talked about" autistic traits
I am so glad that I found your channel. Back last year, I had contacted a therapist who specialized in diagnosing Autism. She refused to test me for Autism because of mental health conditions that I have and said that the traits that were deemed as Autistic were because of those conditions. I decided to find a local Clinical Psychologist who tested me, and low and beholds, I am Autistic. I just received my diagnosis on April 29th. Because of your channel, I kept trying. Thank you. I'm also Transgender Genderqueer, Non-binary AFAB.
I feel like it also doesn't help the point that there isn't a 'girls' or 'boys' autism, where there are youtube channels making various videos specifically about girls. Like one channel in the last few months has "Female Autism Checklist", "9 Autism in Girls Symptoms", "Autism in Girls...", ... Which is great to share and definitely helps to raise awareness, but it doesn't really account for people who aren't girls with those traits. And I've seen some people questioning their autism because they identify as male, but also have majority 'female traits'.
Totally agree with you, as a man that wasn't diagnosed until I was 40 and just labeled as shy all my life I don't like how people talk about gendered autism, autism is far more complex then that. The only info I've found that's been helpful in my case has been info about 'girls autism'. I do feel like kinda homeless in the autism community, I don't fit in anywhere.
This 💯. We absolutely needed to raise awareness that this isn't an exclusively male disorder, but at the same time, we shouldn't swing the pendulum the other way and have less effected males be missing out on helpful diagnoses. As someone who reads through a lot of the research, I can tell you on the neurological and endocrinological side of things, there's no difference. Any change in presentation across males and females is therefore going to be incredibly minor, and should be de-emphasized.
I majored in psychology as well. Most of autistic people do ironically, because of not just us being humanistic in nature, but also we knew unconsciously, that there was something different about our selves. It is in our nature to problem solve. One thing I believe is that we all share some type of dual brain. This can confuse most people who do not understand our aspergs.
Thanks for doing a review of previous discussions Sam, thoroughly agree with the non-gendered mindset about it. Me, my wife, and both of our kids are Autistic (one girl and one boy child) and the spectrum of traits amongst the four of us are wildly different, and all four of us show traits from BOTH sides of that "gendered" diagnostic mindset. Great discussion!
I love this video so much, thank you for sharing your thoughts about all of this! I’m nonbinary, and I’m here like “I get to exist, yea!” any time creators acknowledge that trans and nonbinary people are also affected groups in x community. I really appreciate that, it’s a nice feeling, not having to just kinda follow along with cisgender women as an afterthought, because I was socialized in the same way as them and therefore will (seemingly) always be viewed as one of them by medical professionals. I’m only self-diagnosed at the moment only because within the last month did I find all these awesome autistic creators and realize their stories are just like mine, and it’s the thing that makes sense to explain how my brain works. I really do want an official assessment, but in the US, it really depends on where you live whether you have ANY access to decent healthcare, let alone decent mental health care, and I live in a very poor state. So part of me is very worried that if I manage to secure an assessment nearby, I’ll be assessed only against outdated and stereotypical male presentations and therefore will end up being medically gaslit yet again. My special interests were never stereotypically female (muscle cars, fighter jets, musculoskeletal anatomy, theoretical astrophysics, not things that should ever be gendered or restricted to certain kinds of people to be naturally inclined toward and denied to others), and I do have a very rational, logical, systematizing type of processing everything (emotions, mine and others; information, etc.). So who knows. Maybe my saving feature will be that I definitely struggle to have eye contact and haven’t ever had a relationship, maybe that’ll be stereotypical enough, lmao. Anyway, spilled my life story there, didn’t I? (Slightly bemused eye roll.) Love the video, thank you for sharing. It really does help, that best of an imposter syndrome likes to pop up when I hear only about cisgender stereotypes that I don’t perfectly fit into in terms of autistic presentations-but really, does ever cisgender person fit into them perfectly, anyway? Probably not very often, or not without ignoring some core part of themself.
You have helped me so much last year. I was diagnosed last August with ASD level 1 and OCD. Your last video you speak of or more so the one you spoke on your diagnose. I felt heard, loved, and cried with joy of understanding myself better. Thank you.
Thank you Sam! This is exactly the conversations we need to be having!! Your early videos helped me seek a diagnosis for myself & while I recognised many of the "female traits" in myself, I also had many of the "male traits". My 9yo daughter and myself are both very cis-gendered "girly-girls", however we both have very logical, mathematical brains, we are truly mixed when it comes to the spectrum and I know many others like us!! I also agree that psychology is broken in many ways & psychologists should actually take a leaf out of doctors books and start to learn to specialise and therefore only treat their recognised specialty: you go to a GP for a referral to a specialist - if you have a broken leg, you wouldn't get a referral to a gynaecologist... Psychology needs to be the same!
The visual stimming is on point in this video. Oh the colors... two of my own favorites. Your clothes match your bed and your bed to the rest of the room. I'm so happy about it! And thank you for the video also
Beautifully said, I really appreciate that you continue to grow with your research and share it with us. Thank you for your honesty and transparency with this subject.
@@mementomori1926 okay i see. Well i forgot to mentions "more common for". I naturally assumed it wasnt like a required thing yanno? So would that distinction help? Like these symptoms tend to present more in AFAB people but anyone can experience any symptom? I hope Im not being rude
@@LangkeeLongkee no worries ur not being rude!!saying some traits are more common on afab people is ok, personally its still kind of weird but i see why is helpful sometimes:)
Thank you for touching on this. I run a support group for Neurodivergent employee's at my work and was diagnosed with Autism last year. I learned about my Autism through videos and papers about "female" Autism. I'm a fantastic masker and I do it subconsciously at this point but am certainly not female. Even when I learned I was Autistic I felt othered in an othered community. Now that I've connected with the community I know that's just wrong but when I try to help men/nonbinary/trans people understand their Autism I have to show them gendered material and talk them through it. I finally have made my own slide deck and am doing my own webinar for our company to explain it.
thank you for making this video! i’ve been questioning if i’m on the autism spectrum and i happen to be a transmasc individual. that fact that i was socialized “as a girl” growing up had a big impact on how my symptoms present themselves and how good i’ve gotten at masking my symptoms and essentially pretending that i was neurotypical. its definitely been interesting to both explore my gender identity further and see how my autistic traits have sort of “come out” the more comfortable i’ve gotten in my gender identity. society really does put a lot of pressure on feminine presenting neurodivergent folks to hide their symptoms, so as i’ve started presenting more masculine and become more comfortable in my own body through my transition i’ve sort of gotten to experience how cisgender males with neurodivergent traits are treated. the difference is astonishing and absolutely unacceptable.
I know, right?! I was actually picturing a child inside a vacuum cleaner when she said that, and then I totally cracked up when she said "literally or figuratively" because I felt like my autism was SEEN!
Just wanted to say huge thanks for creating this much needed video. Found you a while ago whilst searching for content specifically about autistic traits in girls when my daughter was being referred for assessment. She was subsequently diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD at age 10 (she’s now almost 12 so just in the nick of time 😅 ) and she’s pretty high on the spectrum, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected. As her mum, and also someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, I’m now starting to turn the autism spotlight towards myself, simply because of what I’ve learned about autism in girls and women, thanks in part to your content. Particularly the prevalence of masking. I have close female friends in their 50’s who are autistic who tell me they believe they’ve masked their entire lives. I haven’t reached the assessment stage yet, but I (and my partner) strongly suspect I have ASD traits. I’ve gone down Samantha Craft’s list and it’s a big list of ticks for me, so an ASD assessment may be on the cards at some point. Thanks again for your brilliant content x
I love the part you said about autism being a spectrum. I originally researched autism because a student of mine was diagnosed and I wanted more information to help her in the classroom. What I ended up doing was recognizing myself in a lot of traits I didn’t realize were autism traits. It always made me uncomfortable - the labels, male and female traits. I’m glad you are being more inclusive of trans and non binary people! As always, great video. Thank you!
Thank you so much for informing people about autism in girls I was undiagnosed autistic in high school and was just diagnosed at 20. I spent my entire life being told I was crazy and thinking something was deeply wrong with me. When I found your channel I realized I was just autistic. Thank you for helping me get the help I need and be heard for the first time in my life.
Love this! Absolutely fascinating, thank you. Very much reflecting my own autistic journey - first learning about autism in girls, getting diagnosed as an adult, learning about and rejecting the idea of extreme male brain, then realising that these so called female traits of autism occur across all genders. It's great that people are realising autism isn't just a male thing and as a result more women are finally finding clarity - but it's also important that things don't shift to just two gendered options, with a list of girl traits and a list of boy traits. They're all autistic traits and any person could have any combination of those traits. When we start gendering these things it just creates more potential for misdiagnosis and it doesn't help anyone.
I found out I was autistic because of your channel . I am AFAB and present female but I’ve never really thought myself as a gender at all and have wished to present myself differently but I’m just comfortable with what I’m used to at this point. I’ve always said since I was young I would end up being the crazy old lady with multi colored hair that walks around in the craziest outfits but it’s always been more comfortable to just blend in.
I saw one of his videos first, then I found Sam and Purple Ella and a couple of others. In true ASD fashion, I started watching every video and taking every quiz. It was crazy to me how much I identified with what Paul was saying, which then led me to to the suggestions on others. I'm in my 50's and just now starting to understand that I may be on the spectrum. Testing for it wasn't even a thing when I was in school. I've masked my "weird" behaviors my entire life and yes, now in my 50's I'm exhausted from "behaving normal" (socially acceptable) all the time, and I find that I just don't have the bandwidth to do it anymore. There's a great line in the film "The Family Stone" that says "let your freak flag fly". That's me these days. All the stress from the pandemic has me feeling a certain kind of way about continuing the facade of normality. I'm done. It is what it is and I'm just going to be me.
Sam, I watched the first video you did on autism in girls when you made it (I was already watching your videos back then, wow! I had just left a job I had for 5 years working as a tutor for an autistic girl and her mom constantly asked if I was autistic, so I found you looking for info.) and the lack of commentary on GNC people and gendering of traits really didn't sit well with me (I am nonbinary myself). However, that video and many of your videos that followed helped me recognize the autistic traits I have and, a bit like gender norms, allowed me to accept myself as a blend of "both" types of autism. I'm so grateful that you have reconsidered your first video and made this video. I've been looking for a video like this one for a long time. I know there are others out there, but your knowledge, presentation style, jokes, and genuine kindness are what I look for in content, so I'm so happy to see this. I hope this video reaches other autistic people outside the gender binary too. I don't mind that this is short either, though I do love your longer videos. The fact that it is here and very digestible means a lot. Thanks again. :) :) :)
I was diagnosed last year, after I saw your video (and, to be fair, quite a few others) about autism, and asked to get tested. I was initially diagnosed with social anxiety, unspecified personality disorder and panic disorder 20 years ago, but things finally clicked for me with this diagnosis. I remember doing autism tests back in the day on my own, but I took the questions (which were directed at boys) quite literally, and since I didn't play with miniature trains or have phenomenal mathematical talent, I figured, my life-long sense of being an alien was just because of my anxiety - when in fact, as I've now understood, my anxiety is caused by the fact that I don't see the world quite like the others. I'd love to see you do a video on the link between ASD and being gender non-conforming. I've heard about this before, and it's something I'd love to learn more about. I'm female, but I've never felt quite womanly enough to call myself that, so although I don't quite label mysel as nonbinary, I'm kinda in between that and woman. I didn't give this much thought before my ASD diagnosis, because I assumed it was all to do with my anxiety, but I really don't like calling myself a woman.
As an AFAB early 20 year old Enby that is self diagnosed (with the help of all your videos may I add!), this video was so pure, good and amazing. Thank-you so much! Watching all the 'autism in girls' videos is something that I've had to resign myself to doing so that I can understand the 'full spectrum' of autism, but it is extremely dysphoric for me. Having this video to fall back on, especially to be able to show my parents when I come out to them as an autistic Enby, is really really helpful, and has no end in helping. Anyway, thank-you, and all the luck to you in your pregnancy!
I was dating someone who I hadn't talked to about my likely autism, and he said something about a lot of men being "too autistic" for him to easily talk to. Short version, we aren't dating anymore.
Thank you for this very important video I have missed for such a long time in all the autism related youtube channels. As a man (non cis) who identifiy with the autism traits in women (or at least much more as with most of the 'male' ones, especially regarding masking), it seems that I have finally found my place in the non gendered autism. Gender is a spectrum as autism is. Your video is a relief for me because it puts my thoughts into words.
I can agree. My sister has more "boys traits" but me I have more "female traits" we need to just look at it like you said a spectrum. There are just different things for diff people
Interesting! Your old video (and/or similar ones) have been in my recommendations forever, and I've never clicked it, because of this. I am an adult female diagnosed with autism in childhood. My "challenging" behaviour was kinda hard to miss for anyone. I'm aware that this has given me a very benificial starting position to adult life, but it has it's own challenges en hearing things like "girls are underdiagnosed because they tend to be better behaved", still gives me a pang in my heart. So, thanks for this!
Yessssss I think "female type autism" is more like "initially unnoticed/ignored aspects of autism" (I also think that certain personality types tend to make these traits more or less obvious or cause someone to fall under more stereotypical presentations)
This really helped me. Since being diagnosed, I'm wrestling with gender. I've been thought of as gay or feminine all my life; what people didn't know all my life is that I'm Autistic. So, as usual, I am presenting in a "female" sort of way. I think I've misconstrued this over the years, saying I relate better with women. I've never felt female, even as I've been repulsed by masculinity at times. Maybe I will suddenly decide I am non-binary, but so far, the best way I've been able to conceptualize it is thinking of myself as demi-gendered and demi-sexual. All that said, so much (or maybe all) of my struggle isn't so much with gender, or my gender, but rather with society's expectations and commentary on me, my behavior, my gender. No wonder. It's also pretty absurd to try to "gender" brains, or at least it seems that way to me at first blush. It's a feedback loop where we are damaged by the gender dichotomy but also reinforce it, sometimes when trying to do the opposite.
That autism in girls video kind of saved my life and therefore will have a special place in my heart for ever lol😂 But, I definitely understand the issue with presenting it that way and the exclusion that comes with it. So it's good you cleared that up now. This was a very interesting video and well explained even though there was a lot to unfold. And the colors were so pleasant to watch🙂
As someone who is currently working through the possibility of being autistic and identifying as queer, this video is spot on. Also, whilst I present as predominantly feminine, I would say that my brain also feels neither feminine or masculine.
I love this reflection and expansion of these concepts! I've noticed in the collectives I connect to that autism is being understood to be a "human" condition more and more. I *love* how new communities (in reddit there is an "autisminwomen" subreddit) are a good "way point" for many of us who resonate in with that term due to the gender socialization of decades. And that space/this video, allows us to learn about ourselves and each other, to help build towards that consensus of understanding about the condition itself and how we, as people on the spectrum, process the world. I have been sharing this video to my favorite groups because I really feel its a wonderful example of the permission to change our opinions/minds once new evidence is presented. Thank you for creations!
Thank you for another very good and nuanced video. Since my diagnosis, five years ago, I have never thought that men would only have "male" autistic traits and women only "female" ones, because I noticed traits from both "sides" in myself, but it is nice to hear it from someone I consider knowledgeable on the subject.
thank you 😭😭😭😭 this makes me feel extremely seen and i'm eternally grateful!! i'd love to hear you talk more about psychology and reforming our current understanding - that's something i'm extremely interested, especially given my own experiences. i'd also love to see you discuss how autistic people get misdiagnosed as BPD (and the racist/eugenicist origins of personality disorders). i know so many autistic trans and cis women as well as other enbies and trans masc folk (no cis men, tho) who get lost in the system cuz of that label and it's so hard to watch them struggle. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I’m Autistic and afab - and I’m in STEM, was a tomboy growing up, dinosaurs/insects/rocks were my special interest, and then coding as a teen. I struggled with eye contact, and was told this was due to “deceitful behavior” or “sin.” The most male-autism trope you can imagine, except it wasnt seen as Autism until I was a teen. Wasn’t diagnosed until last year. So I am really glad you’re bringing up the topic of de-gendering autism. I have low empathy but very high compassion. I have several amazing female friends, but have experienced a lot of mistreatment from neurotypical girls, even now, It is so complex! I never felt like girl or boy, just Autistic.
One of the traits that autistic people can have is one of the traits I love the most: liking & putting into practice nice things. Making things look harmonious. Making things look comfortable. Your new design of the room looks so nice, Yo Samdy Sam! Greetings from Berlin, Germany
Thank you! I really appreciate this video I got my autism diagnosis last month and I have been watching a lot of your videos. As a trans person it has been very painful to listen and read about autism and have some of my trains gendered one way or another. Gendered language can really alienate people who are just starting to research autism and might stop them from learning very valuable things just because it has a tag of 'male' or 'female' on it.
I'm a 25 y/o autistic afab person who had very prominent and obvious telltale symptoms of it my entire life from infancy and struggled significantly in school because of social anxiety from being autistic. And I never really masked either. There were situations where I did my best to do so obviously, yes, but I was seen by numerous psychiatrists etc for diagnosis because of these issues as a child and I never masked when seeing those doctors when they evaluated me, for example. I never had the energy to go that far with it. I also had an abusive family who in large part abused me for being autistic and these doctors never even suggested I could be autistic at any point. They just diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and insisted it must be because I'm being bullied at school or else they're clueless, even though I repeatedly told them I was not bullied at school. They just didn't care about any other narrative. I also always described that I'm anxious around people "because people are mean to me" and every time I said that line I was served with "Well, some people are going to be mean, you just have to get over it." And like, no, I meant that people are always randomly aggressive, which nowadays I believe is because people would take offense over things such as tone of voice etc without me intending it. I had selective mutism for years as a child over this and I still have issues with this now as an adult. I think it's an incredible disservice that I was not diagnosed when it was clear as day when I was like 4.
Can ppl with autism have a hard time understanding what it is? Like I know my experiences such as with hyper empathy, stimming, hyper focusing, issues with certain noises, etc but in my head it’s hard to completely understand because it’s such a broad spectrum. Idk can we mask to ourselves?
“Gendering autistic traits adds no value”. Ok, good point. Thank you for your work thinking on this and explaining it as well as you have! My family has benefitted very much from that first viral video, but mostly because of the expansion of the picture of autistic traits. This expanded picture may apply to both a male and a female in my family.
This is my first time hearing about this and I'm intrigued. My younger brother was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was a kid. I was technically diagnosed with so many different things that my child mind picked the things I was most familiar with (ADD, PTSD, anxiety and depression) and ran with them. But honestly, even with those I always felt "off". Like there was more but I couldnt put my finger on it. It started when I was a child but was old enough to start noticing and questioning things, like why I could understand my brother but no one else could even before he could talk, and why I felt differently about things than other people in my age group. Once my brother was diagnosed I started getting very interested in mental stuff like this. Thank you for introducing me to something new, now I'm off to do more research!
I'm gay engaged and that line about ‘you can't be autistic because you're married’ made me laugh. I am exploring my own possible autism and I confess, that stereotype has been part of my internal resistance to looking into this.
Thanks for staying humble and embracing progress. I appreciate your channel so much! And thanks for the mention of Maria Montessori and eugenics. I had no idea! 😬 but as a mom to toddler/preschool kids, I also appreciate the Montessori style.
Brilliant, thank you. As a nonbinary afab person, I have been talking about a "classic" presentation and a "modern" presentation. When I have friends who are trans or nonbinary starting to wonder if they are autistic, I warn them of the gendered nature of much of autistic research/diagnosis and the online community may be triggering, but if every they use the frame of classical vs modern if may help. Autistic traits are human traits and humans are autistic no matter the gender identity. Maintaining a gendered system harms all of us.
I'm not even yet sure I'm autistic, but everything you've said are the things that I've been thinking intensely about. Thank you so much for doing this.
I’m glad you made this video you’re cool. I’m about to visit a specialist for my official diagnosis. I was born with an intersex condition and women with my condition were found to have autism like 20% more than the general population in a study. We present with more male characteristics.
YES! as a trans man i get so dysphoric because i have “female” autistic traits and no where could i find anything about how it affects us so you said this perfectly
Excellent video! Nice and clear take on this aspect of the philosophy of science /psychology. I also agree that the older video still has huge value as well.
I do question myself why autistic people seems to be gayer, I myself I’m an autistic cis woman and I’m Demisexual panromantic and it seems a lots of us are LGBT+ 🏳️🌈 , also in my case I do have the “female” autism but I love and und your perspective is totally true!
Thank you for this! I was one of the ones who watched your original video and thought, "But I align more with the traditional male 'Asperger' autism..." Gender is not something I've ever really understood, since I don't feel "male" or "female." You might even see in my pictures that I've gone the other way and tried to be "hyperfeminine" in a way that is more historical, since I don't understand accurately what hyperfemininity means in 2021 (it might involve a lot more exercise lol - not for me!) It's a problem, and I'm getting away from it and actually dressing more 1800s masculine now (which is pretty feminine for today). I honestly think the lack of gender understanding has more to do with the fact that gender expectations are a social and cultural issue. You can see the changes in how men and women express gender throughout the course of history, almost as if there is a "male culture" and a "female culture" that changes over time. Being autistic, I don't really fit in any culture. So I might not actually be non-binary, just unable to uphold the social expectations of being female. The other issue is that even when a man with autism and a woman with autism act the SAME, a psychologist may perceive them totally differently due to gender biases. That's the one thing that is in the power of the industry to change!
Thank you so much for the sentence 'So I might not actually be non-binary....' That may be me. I'm a woman who's been happily married to a man for over 50 years and we have 4 children, but, although I accept I'm female, I have never felt feminine. I hated being given girly toys and wearing pretty clothes as a child and 20 years ago gave up skirts for trousers with a sigh of relief. Finding out I was on the spectrum 3 years ago, aged 69, has changed my life and I'm gradually shedding a lifetime's layers of masks. (Ironic that Ihave to wear physical ones at the moment!) The good thing about getting older is the 'dont give a damn' attitude that's finally helping me accept who I am, ie a Person beyond gender and society's norms.
@@lindseyharland4872 That describes me as well - I was born female, I accept that I am female, I'm totally fine with being female, but I don't "feel" female (or male, or anything else in any way related to gender). Being female has never had any particular importance in my life or my sense of self. I also hated "girly" toys like toy ovens and baby dolls (I preferred Hot Wheels, craft kits or science experiment kits, or books), and I've always gravitated toward interests which are typically seen as more male-dominated (like computers, video games, guitar, metal music - I was even obsessed with dinosaurs to such a degree that I declared at age 7 that I wanted to be a paleontologist, and that stuck all the way until I was 20 and in my second year of college as a geology major). I never found many friendships with other girls because I just couldn't relate to them very well, and most of my friends throughout life have been male. I also knew even when I was a child myself that I didn't want to have children, and at 41 now, I've never had the slightest pang of maternal longing. But I'm also happily married to a man, have had romantic relationships with men/boys my whole life, have never had any romantic or sexual attraction to other females, and I've never even considered that any of the "boyish" (or at least non-"girlish") things about me meant anything other than...I'm a person with things I'm interested in. I honestly didn't even notice that so many of my interests were more typical of males/less typical of females until just a few years ago. It just never even occurred to me to think about it that way. 🤷♀️
I really love that you came back with more knowledge and admitted you didn't know as much in the first video. That is true growth, and should be celebrated. Thank you for this discussion! I found it so enlightening 💙🙏
Collab on overalls and topic. Surely no accident. Great job on presenting a reassessed approach to an idea. Teaching that part has nothing to do with autism (I think) and would be a great thing for the world. I'm also reassessing my language in how I talk about my daughter and autism. Keep shining the light.
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
![ลองสุ่มไอโฟน 990 โกงมั้ย? [ โกงมั้ยครับ ep.101 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfsWe0j492k/mqdefault.jpg)
Go give Purple Ella's video on the same topic (slightly different perspective) some love: th-cam.com/video/P3ohpP5q3m0/w-d-xo.html
I kinda love that you both seem to be wearing the same overalls! They look super comfy!
Behaviourism is so old-school. I'm happy that today's psychological research is moving away from them. Thank you for the great video!!
@@Aurelia2147 now if only the therapists and practitioners would move away from it too.
@@seejendo3290 exactly! We’re no universal machines.
Even though there might be universal laws they don’t apply to everyone or show themselves in very different ways 🤖
@@Aurelia2147 like most societal woes - this is yet another problem that in part needs to be solved with education.
I'm a male and my brain isn't male or female. My brain is autistic. It's the best way I can describe it.
I love that explanation
You may benefit from looking up shaman gender and how shamans were often neurodivergent people, were outside the boundaries of the gender binary, and were allowed and even encouraged to be this way in several native societies
I think I can relate to this and I am a female. Though I also can relate to a few "female" brained and "male" brained things, I definitely have a very neurodivergent and non-binary gender neutral/gender balanced spectrum mind/brain. 🙄🧠
@@alexc2265 That is so cool and interesting because I can relate to original comment and I have interest in shamanism and write about that subject a lot as well.
@@JadedGenXer same here
"Done is better than perfect." Great Idea! I waste so much time waiting for perfect.
My mentor gave me that advice and told me that sometimes good enough is better but it’s given me so much anxiety over how do I know when something is good enough.
"Don't let the perfect get in the way of the good."
After much deliberation over this myself, I've come to the conclusion that nothing is really perfect. Everyone has a different perspective on things, & everyone's idea of perfect is different. Even our own ideas of perfect are subject to change. Therefore, perfection is actually a fallacy. (This isn't to say that it don't still struggle with this. But it does help to realize I think). The perfectionist in me wants to say that done isn't necessarily better than perfect, but that getting it out there is more important than perfection. &, as with this video, corrections are always able to be made. Never let a lack of perfection hold you back. Often we learn the most from dialogue with others, & you might not have that if you never put it out there. Most people appreciate things that are imperfect more than things that they perceive as perfect anyway. Perfection is unrelatable
No such thing as perfect.
I really appreciate that you took the time to reflect on what you have said in the past because that’s EXACTLY what the entire autism community needs to do. There’s still so much we don’t know and so many gaps in the research. Even as the research evolves, most practitioners, parents, and people don’t keep up with it. I’m literally planning my life (with an autistic husband and two autistic toddlers) around changing careers so I can get a PhD and research subtypes, improving diagnostic instruments, and educating the entire community of people who support autistic people. We have to change this... we’re better than we were but we’re still so far from where we need to be.
I’m with you! I’m an Aspie with a husband diagnosed with ADHD, two kids with twice exceptions. I moved my career in to the Functional Nutrition, Medical Cannabis, and herbalism worlds, currently studying fundamentals in neuroscience. My goal is to change the perspectives and support the community as a whole. Let’s connect!
@@littleblackdrezz how old are your kids? Im still quite early in my journey (2 year old girl and 4 year old boy) but twice exceptional is likely true for mine too.
@@littleblackdrezz "twice exceptions" can some one pls explain this reference?
See Jen Do - thx for stating this appreciation clearly. 1st two sentences - brilliant!!! 3rd sentence - keeping up with the cutting edge of thinking while worthwhile is exhausting & some times we need to give eating, sleeping and general life (processing, reflection, etc) time too. Quite agree.
@@lynngrant4023 Twice exceptional means you are both above average and disabled especially in a school setting. So you might be both in a gifted program and a special education program in school. This happened to me but I never heard the term until I was an adult.
Hi Sam, as an autistic professor of clinical psychology, this is exactly what I strive to do - to teach my students to be critical thinkers and scientists who are knowledgeable but critical of the way that we define mental "illness" vs. mental health, of what should even be considered a "mental disorder" vs. normal ND development, gender identity, sexual orientation etc. Must say: the new generation give me hope, (at least here in North America) they are really pushing for divergence at every level to be viewed as, not just the norm, but the heart of the future... we are getting there 🙂
I wonder if the disproportionate diagnoses of males is partly due to the tendency for society to view sensitivity and shyness as problematic in males. So if a male child is disturbed by sensory stimuli or if he doesn't engage with social situations, maybe society notices it as a problem that needs to be fixed instead of just classifying it as a difference in personality.
I'm not trying to say that men have it worse though. I'm sure women are subjected to as many or more social expectations. But maybe society has just historically viewed femaleness as a sort of disorder on its own so that any differences are just attributed to the person being female. I'm thinking of the hysteria example; even when a woman had an actual medical problem, doctors might have just labeled it as hysteria and viewed it as a "normal" part of being a woman. And maybe a man experiencing the same condition would instead be labeled as weak/unmanly and thus excluded from maleness, preserving the construct of maleness as strength and leadership, but only by excluding men labeled as "weak" and boxing them into a disorder.
That's an interesting take, but given the spectrum aspect of autism I've always had the thought that maybe given the "different wiring" of human brains everyone has some level of it. To treat people as "disordered" because of a variation in their brains is like expecting people to be as similar in functioning as a computer's OS, the first time I was introduced to the idea that trans and autism can overlap was actually in one of Jessie Gender's video about autism and neuroatypical characters in Star Trek
This is interesting.
While I don't want to discredit the stress amab autistic children might face and how their "unfitting male" behaviour might get them diagnosed faster...there are tons of very male-presenting men and boys that do not have an autism diagnosis. Neurodivergency is not per se male.
Male behaviour (what ever that may be) is not necessarily unwanted in our society.
Actually the other way around if you are presenting a little less girly as a woman and show more androgynous or traditionally male in your clothing and speech, you are more likely to be taken seriously in your job.
For example ngela Merkel, scientist or not, would have had a much harder time with her political carreer if she'd presented as a very traditionally feminine woman in a flowy dress, flower crown and long braided hair.
Afab children get a lot less lenience when it comes to social behaviour. Girls get "corrected" much faster if their behaviour is not geared towards socially fitting in. Because of that I would expect their behaviour much more formed by society from a young age ( but at the same time these traits they are trained for are seen as less good than males, so even if theymanage to achieve to perfectly display "the perfect little girl" to the outside they still lose in the long run...it's kinda messed up tbh)
Avoiding body or eye contact, disruptive behaviour in class, (selective) mutism, being a loner, obsessing about certain subjects or just not being very nuturing/caring with their siblings is seen as much more normal neurotypical boy-behaviour , so if a afab child shows this kind of behaviour chance is high that they either forced to learn how to mask prettyfast or fail and get ever changing diagnoses.
I hate to say it, but another huge part of females not being properly diagnosed, does start very early. I got lucky, my pediatrician and me were on the same page. We both looked at my middle child, when she was a year old, and went “something isn’t clicking here, something is off and we need to find out what”. At that time, her father was with us (he was abusive and manipulative, so it took my aunt kicking him out of her house and forcing him to Florida, with his mom, to get me free of that) and he kept saying “my cousins were like this and that and they’re fine now. Don’t worry she’s normal. There isn’t anything wrong with her!” And my mom senses were going off so hard, I had actual mental breakdowns. I KNEW something was not okay, I KNEW she had SOMETHING “wrong”. Once he was out of the picture, I went back to her doctor and I said straight out: “Her dad is finally gone, I don’t have to listen to him gaslight me into thinking it’s all okay. I think she has autism and I want you to give me your honest opinion on this and help me with the next steps.” As soon as I finished saying it, he confirmed he felt the same way and gave me the referral for Early Intervention. I got her enrolled in therapeutic services that were delivered, in house, under my ever watchful and protective eye. I saw every session, I helped out, I learned what to do to help her improve in things, such as comprehension on social skills, walking straighter (she would walk into things or fall down the stairs otherwise and I’m sorry - I like my child alive and not seriously harmed, so I felt correcting that wasn’t a bad thing). She had occupational therapy and speech, physical and I always forget the last one... anyway; because *I* had the feeling, because *I* had experience with an autistic MALE cousin, because *I* am so hyper aware of society and what they deem as “normal” and “abnormal”, *I* was able to identify a “problem” and conclude what it COULD be - and bloody well did something about it. If more parents were aware of anything, more people would be getting the help they need, early on. Not to say the parents who aren’t like me, are bad. Just that if the understanding was more president and the information more accessible, in a way Neurotypical people can comprehend, it could help reduce later misdiagnosis in adult and teen-hood. Now, let me just say: my middle child was very disconnected and generally just existed in the world and didn’t seem to be a part of it. That’s what triggered my mom senses. For my youngest child, she presented way way WAY differently than her sister and at first it didn’t click, but by 10 months I was like: “H O L D on... no, that’s not considered normal, I’m getting that vibe again...” And what did I do? “Doctor, I noticed this, that and this and she has this habit - is it normal? Could this be another representation of autism?” And what happened? Referral, diagnosis, treatment in home; with me glaring at the therapist, like I’d murder them, if they did one thing to upset my child or hurt them. (They didn’t like me much, I am way too protective of my children and can be very aggressive once I see my child in discomfort. Which one therapist found out, the hard way... 🙈🙊) If it wasn’t for me and their doctor, my girls would of never been diagnosed. They would of never gotten therapy and at this stage, they would of been struggling a hundred times more, than they naturally are. The point that people all represent differently occurs in all things, all topics and areas of existence. The lack of knowledge in these areas and the way people have to box things neatly, ruins literally everything. Until that changes, my OPINION is, more light shed on Autism in general, to parents, could drastically help the community and humanity in general. Learning to recognize Neurodivergency as early as possible, could frankly help normalize “the outcasted minority of abnormal people” and maybe even help broaden the labels - from “male” and “female” symptoms to “autism” symptoms.
I've always related to this, the extreme female brain theory of autism, lol.
"maybe society has just historically viewed femaleness as a sort of disorder on its own" ive been thinking this for a while but could never articulate it but I think you are so right with this. its so sad to think but i genuinely believe that this is why women have a hard time getting diagnosed with things like adhd/asd. I also think it contibutes a lot to women being over-diagnosed or misdiagnosed with things like depression and anxiety because i think to men historically they thought that being a women was something inherently to be depressed about (or something like that I'm very bad at putting my thoughts into words sometimes)
I've only been on this journey for a few months, but...after talking to the folk on your Discord, and watching many of the explosion of "This is what autism looks like in women" videos, it became fairly clear that if we're going to split autism into two "types", the gender split is coincidental rather than causal. It's actually much closer to "well-masked and ostensibly functional" vs "caught in childhood" - because almost all of the people who're coming into this later in life present exactly according to the broad "female autism" type, almost by definition - we're the ones who've learned to cope with the world, through a combination of masking, societal expectations and often at least one unintentionally helpful autistic parent (who grew up exactly the same way, but without a diagnosis themselves).
The fact that most female incidence of autism tends to be of this type is likely a combination of young girls being more socially adaptable and the social expectations placed on them by their peers, whereas boys (from my anecdotal experience) tend to have smaller, less socially-diverse social groups where the incentive for adaptation can be significantly lower.
Equally, of course, I could be completely off-base, 'cos I'm well aware that I don't know enough about it yet, and my pool of research volunteers has been somewhat self-selecting ;)
EDIT: I forgot to say...way to go for setting an example, Sam! Correcting yourself publicly when new information comes to light is both very important and very much "not easy", particularly in a relatively closed community.
I have definitely noticed a 'female autism traits' type of explosion on youtube, and some articles. Which while it can help some more people get diagnosed, it also leads to a lot of other confusion. And I've talked to some people who identify male, but have mainly 'female autism traits' who were starting to question their diagnosis.
I just feel like there's a way these videos can be made to bring attention to less typical autism traits, while also mentioning their common occurrence in females. While also making it clear throughout the video that it isn't just a 'female autism trait to watch out for'.
This video is a great example! A good discussion on all aspects of it really.
(Just another thing that kinda annoys me is these channels by people who were diagnosed 10 years ago and like "Hi I have aspergers and here are 10 aspie traits to look out for". It's fine to call yourself that, particularly if that's how you feel comfortable, but still acknowledge that that term isn't really used anymore and anyone with ASD can show a whole range of traits.)
@Jaiden Oliver Asperger’s syndrome is still included in ICD-10. Not all countries use the DSM-V. I’ve been part of large autistic women’s groups and I would say that, while most of those I interacted with seemed to fall into the “female traits” category, there was no shortage of women who seemed to present in the “typically male” fashion. Personally, I’ve never felt like I fit into the feminine mold-not at all submissive, very opinionated and outspoken and interested in (some) subjects usually considered male oriented.
Writing this out, it now seems kind of silly to me. So much of gender is socially constructed anyway. I never was a girly girl (although I look like one) but never wanted to be a boy, or felt envious of their opportunities to do certain things, either. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve leaned more towards asexuality and now I wonder how much of my cis gendered past was social masking. I *do* remember when my friends started to get interested in boys, I followed along, because it seemed like that’s what I was supposed to do. I could go on but that’s enough of a rant for now. Cheers Jaiden!
I couldn’t agree more with your support of her having the courage to openly reflect on past attitudes and knowledge and change after we learn better. Not easy for rigid thinkers and an excellent example to us all as you said. Blessed be.
It's also possible to start out as a "caught in childhood" type but then later in life become a "well-masked and ostensibly functional" individual. That's how it went for me.
" It's actually much closer to "well-masked and ostensibly functional" vs "caught in childhood"
You know what, I think it's actually just "adult" vs. "childhood" autistic traits. I was diagnosed as a child, but now I relate much with the "female" traits. I think part of the reason women have the "female" traits is just because they get diagnosed later so they learn to mask before they get diagnosed, and a large part of the reason they get diagnosed later is because they were overlooked due to sexism.
I think much of the over-representation of non-binary in autistic people comes from the fact that we do not effortlessly fit into current social systems but have to learn them from scratch and through this process rarely just accept things for what they are. We wanna know what and when and WHY (and by extension: how can I make this more effective so that less of my daily energy is spent abiding to it). And gender, being a mostly performative thing, is hardly spared from this scrutiny.
Not sure about 'over-representation'. Suggest there's too many of us being diagnosed? But yes I love questioning the value society places on difference and how that impacts different groups of people. Is gender mostly performative? I think that's the most visible aspect but not necessarily the largest. For me it's about 90% internal, 7% presentation and about 3% performative. But maybe I'm misunderstanding it? I'm still learning all the language around gender identity and it's quite a lot to take in. I feel like performing gender is what I did when I was in the closet :')
@@LaurArt_UK With over-representation I mean that the percentage of people with autism that identify as non-binary is clearly higher than the neurotypical general populace; statistically higher than the norm.
I probably generalised too much about gender being mostly performative. For ME, the only things I have read regarding identity that gave me one of those aha-moments, you know one of those - that's exactly it - was when I read Judith Butler. She defines ANY identity, gender or other, as completely performative, meaning whatever you do enough, you will identify as.
The only thing I clearly identify as is autistic, which by that definition makes sense since I "do autism" every day, whether I like it or not. To a lesser extent I guess I also identify as a parent and a musician. I try to raise a child and I make a lot of music. At one point in my life I identified as an alcoholic, because I drank all the time. But man? Woman? As the definition of the words associated with these, masculine and feminine, vary over time and between cultures, I could never find anything that rang true with myself. It just seemed made up. So, I don't identify in that regard. This I would assume would put me under the non-binary umbrella (which is a pretty wide one) but not even that word means all that much to me. I recently stumbled over the term "gender void" which more than non-binary signals "I am not playing this game". That one I like, but it's just the definition of opting out.
This only applies to people who base their sense of self on sexist stereotypes. I’m an autistic woman, that just means I’m an adult human female. I couldn’t care less about “performing gender”. The fact that I don’t fit into societal expectation doesn’t make me “not a woman”. People who claim that this makes them non-binary are following sexist reasoning.
@@jigsawpuzzle6789 I don't think anyone did. No-one but yourself can tell you what you identify as. But to agree with any of the reasoning here I think you will need to be on the side that claim gender is a social construct. And if you do you there is nothing stopping you to identify or claim to identify as anything you like regardless of how you perform, since the identity gained by performing _anything_ cannot be judged other than completely subjective anyway. It's more a question of being honest with yourself.
@@MammaApa To clarify, I don’t “identify” as a woman, the idea that it is possible to “identify” as a woman is incredibly sexist. The idea of “gender”, the social construct, as referred to in this conversation is sex-stereotypes, why would anyone want to create an “identity” based on stereotypes? That’s so regressive. I reject these stereotypes and just use the sex-based definition of woman (adult human female). I don’t believe in the idea of “woman gender identity”/”feeling like a woman”. The same logic applies to the word man.
When non-binary people claim that they’re not men/women, they are admitting that they support these sexist stereotypes or they think being a man/woman is a mystical gender feeling.
The intersection between being trans and autistic is a really tough one. In California where I live, trans people can be denied insurance coverage for medical transition if they have an autism diagnosis. Part of the reason I haven't been diagnosed is because I knew I could be denied top surgery with that diagnosis, so I prioritized top surgery. I had a friend in college who was a trans man diagnosed with autism in childhood, and because of that he couldn't get testosterone, top surgery or even a reduction. He couldn't bind either due to other health complications. Because "gender issues" and "confusion" are one of many traits listed under autism in the DSM V, our gender dysphoria is denied and untreated because we supposedly can't have both. It's a MASSIVE problem in the psychology community, and because autism research in women, let alone transgender people being extremely far behind, we have a LONG way to go. And its REALLY frustrating being caught in the middle of it.
that's so sad. even IF autism caused his gender "issues", that doesn't make the issues not real!
Why is "gender issues" listed as a trait??
@@azulizachan7595 i think it's because (and someone talked about this in another comment so you may want to have a read through if youre interested) autistic people may have trouble understanding social constructs like boundaries, how to behave in certain situations, gender roles, etc. they would be less likely to accept these things as fact and would want to know why? why does society expect these things of me and why should i go along with it? there is some truth to this as there is a high proportion of trans and non binary people in the autistic community.
I hope you can get a diagnosis one day, and all the best with your transition journey.
@Edith Waters absolutely agree, very well said. it's a good point that people generally don't take autistic people seriously. same thing happens with other common traits like sensory sensitivity, people just tell us to get over it as if they either don't understand our brains are wired different or they just don't care. plus, the existence of cis autistic people proves that autism doesn't just cause you to be trans.
I really appreciated your first video on this topic, but I am even happier with this video! I am nonbinary myself and tend to reduce myself to my female assignment at birth when others do so. Now with you presenting a wider perspective on gender and autism I feel very seen and I am more able to see and validate myself. So thank you! (Sorry for my weird english, I'm not a native speaker)
I'm so glad you enjoyed my video(s) and hope that I was able to get it right.
Same!! I'm really happy this video exists because it helps break down the idea that my autism presentation makes me in the end, a 'woman'.
You shouldn't apologize for not being a native english speaker. And your english is very good anyway. Although i don't know what you mean with "when others do so".
@@YoSamdySam Why do you claim to be autistic when you are not?
@@masonnix9566
She is autistic and I am also autistic. Autism is a spectrum, which presents differently in everyone. Some autistic people are nonverbal and cannot speak at all, but have a strong connection with nature and are able to communicate with animals. Autism is not a range of deficits and this neurological difference means that we simply have a different way of perceiving the world. Autism is not necessarily a disability because we are abled in a different way. Some autistic people can speak and may appear neurotypical. However, the person is still autistic because autism is an invisible condition. In society, autism is described as a type of person separate from society, which I believe is completely fine. I don’t see this as a problem as many neurotypical people may see it.
And the threat of eugenics is FAR from gone. It’s part of why I get VERY nervous about genetic research and autism. I think there are definitely things we can get out of it, but it would be soooo easy to start down the very slippery slope of prevention and... worse.
So many babies are killed every day just because they are already diagnosed with some sort of "disability". It's a horrible abomination to do this but it keeps happening more and more as prenatal genetic testing grows.
@Pablo Moreno Cordón This reminded me of a thought experiment I heard when taking philosophy; "Parents have four children born blind and four born deaf, what do you do with the ninth child?" "Abort them." Congratulations, you just killed Beethoven." Just because there might be some disabled person doesn't mean they can't be useful in some way, I knew someone with Down's Syndrome at my church and he was the nicest person I'd seen
This is important to talk about. I am pro abortion in any case where a person feels like they will not be a good parent. Better that than a live child facing abuse or neglect. There are already too many children who have been forced into the world and then abandoned. Unfortunately, many people are not equipped to handle a child with any kind of disability and don't really think about that before trying to have kids. Having kids is just the thing you're supposed to do. I'm an antinatalist and don't like the idea that any children are born since you can't consent to existence. Unfortunately, biology makes this unrealistic, so whatever will cause the least amount of harm to a child is the best option. Autism and many mental illnesses can still offer a person a quality of life that isn't just pain. There are some disorders where a person will know nothing but pain and I think it is monstrous to insist on having that child because that's somehow the moral option. Yes, this whole thing is a slippery slope, but not everything is about seeing someone as lesser. Sometimes, the compassionate choice is to spare someone from existing when their life will be complete misery. Life is not a gift for everyone, and it would be completely selfish to assume that it is.
@@andrewmalinowski6673 That person might be useful so we have to allow them to be born. That's just as reductive. That takes away the idea that this person is an individual who has to live their life and might just be an ordinary person.
@@Aster_Risk couldn’t agree more. ♥️
I think they focus too much on external cues when they should be asking people WHY they are behaving the way they do. Sexism is definitely prevalent
😥 You aren't kidding!
I think one of the reasons diagnostic criteria are set as they are, is that Autism is predominately identified/diagnosed in children, and the level of insight required to answer those "why" type questions to an accurate and satisfactorily discriminatory degree is not often enough going to be developed enough in young children.
As I'm writing this I'm noticing this video is 3 years old and this comment will undoubtedly be going into the void lol. Hello void.
Sam, I'm a mother searching for answers and support for my 15 y.o. daughter. I'm happy to finally have found your channel. Your videos have helped me and her a lot! I see that she has become more aware and happy to know she's not alone. Having a place where she can find her peeps is very comforting.
Thank you a lot.
Yup, "hysterical" actually comes from the root "of the womb." Like, removal of the uterus is called a hysterectomy.
I stopped seeing psychologist when i was like 16 because nothing they said fit and they put me on meds for anxiety because my meltdowns then meds for bi polar
Its sad they are so unwilling to listen.
I really appreciate this video. As a transmasculine/nonbinary person, seeing myself relate so heavily to "female autism" caused a lot of dysphoria.
agh same lmao
I sometimes feel like dressing like a girl but most of the time I'm more of a boy I think I can relate more to male autism
I feel like it is exactly what should be expected if someone was raised in female type of way
Don’t worry! It shouldn’t really be called “female autism” it’s just inattentive type of autism which is more common In afab’s, which led to it being labeled as “female” . amab’s can have it aswell but it’s just more common in afab’s
@@kittycraft1012 male and female characteristics could both be used to diagnose a person if both male and female characteristics are used then the diagnosis would be all inclusive for people with either male or female autism
I double mask. I'm mask my autism in a shop. And a mask my face because of the thing.
Lol
You dont know how long I've been waiting for this omg
Rona (corona) is the thing ?
@@MORTEMANIMAuk Yes. Tom Riddle virus.
This is so true, and I wish people could understand that having a diagnosis it's a privilege in women (With exceptions of course).
I've only ever had the ADHD diagnosis but so many people tell me I have a male brain despite being a cis woman. This has given me so much doubt about my validity as a woman. Using gender signifiers for personality traits can be really harmful.
Maybe they say that because you’re more logical or not gullible/not manipulated that easily because you analyze people more? Even though a lot of males these days are followers too
being logical isn't male, not being easy to manipulate isn't male. Personality traits aren't male or female. Educate yourself
@@IntegrityMeansAllyou are the one very easily manipulated if you believe men are more "logical" 🤡
Personality traits are distributed unequally between the genders.
OMG! I am so happy that someone is talking about Maria Montessori had some eugenics ideas in her book! Because everyone talks only about how amazing she was and when I started reading I start to feel crazy! Like “am I seeing stuff where there isn’t ?”
I had that same reaction when I read her books... like... wait what?
I had no idea this was a thing. (It explains a few really troubling opinions in some of my family, though. Oof.)
It's not even surprising with her epigenetic observations and 1910s environment!
@@YoSamdySam what is this book?
I wonder if that’s why my mom gets so defensive about people being described as autistic and starts saying how she disagrees with it. She read it and used a lot of the methods as she could with my education.
Definitely the "Autism symptoms in girls" video was an eye-opener for me, and a great first step in breaking the cis-male-white-boy stereotype. As everything in life, autism is complex and varied. Thanks for always make us look for more than just the surface, and strive to open the spec to every autistic. Learning and knowledge are always great to make changes happen.
"cis" can some one remind me what this term means? Thx!
@@lynngrant4023 in chemistry two structures can be identical except for the 3d structure. If the structure has two "groups" on the SAME side its known as CIS but opposite sides its known as "trans". Well you know what trans sexuality is... The rest are cis... Basically it's non-trans.
@@lynngrant4023 opposite of transgender. Cis (meaning “same side”) is the opposite prefix to trans (across/beyond/on the other side). So cisgender means you identify as the gender you were assigned at birth.
@@genericname8727 - Ah, thx. This helps, I've got a better understanding now. Cheers.
@@sgordon8123 - Hmm, a complex issue thx for taking time 2reply.
Long before being diagnosed as autistic, I spent my whole life being called "girly." I definitely fit more in with "female autism" stereotypes. I appreciate your time for teaching more nuance.
I was misdiagnosed with having a personality disorder when clearly I had Autism.
Seriously - I wasn’t diagnosed but the closest non-autistic diagnoses I saw were like,,, Schizoid personality disorder and schizotypal personality disorder. And I was like..........yeah but no?
Same. I was misdiagnosed with APD. The guy never asked "why?". Such a simple, short question would have told him I didn't fit avoidant personality, if he just bothered to ask why I did things rather than assuming why I did them.
I think Schizoid personality disorder fits me better than autism. It explains more why I am the way I am.
Funny thing about that extreme male brain nonsense. I'm a cis white male on the spectrum who had a lot of the most characteristic traits in full force (right down to reading computer magazines before I was old enough to be eligible for kindergarten) and I was a *hugely* emotionally sensitive child... as in "I couldn't win a dispute with my younger brother because I'd feel his distress more strongly than he would".
Granted, going to high school almost drove me to nervous breakdown and the emotional calluses never went away, but I *did* used to be that sensitive.
race isnt real
@@NobodyssGirl But racialization is. We're discussing a developmental disorder which shows up during the formative years, so the way you're treated in early life is going to massively affect how it is expressed.
Why do you label yourself “cis white male” and don’t just say you’re a man? just curious, everyone can choose how to call themselves of course. Regarding the other parts of your comment: one doesn’t exclude the other - but I believe that’s what you implied. A lot of men are very emotional that’s also why they do way more of the emotionally charged crimes than women on average - if they can’t control extr. emotions and become viol. That’s why it is indeed nonsense to claim men are not emotional by nature. They’re usually not as sensitive or empathic as women though but that is usually a result of socialization. If you encourage a young child/boy to be sensitive and empathic usually he will become more of both compared to when you encourage a boy to suppress it. At least for neurotypical individuals. But I believe it’s somewhat similar in autistic people maybe. The exception are people who have a severe malignant personality disorder (sometimes! already visible in childhood by how they treat animals etc)
@@IntegrityMeansAll To give context for the upbringing I received and how those who were interacting with me saw me.
Your autism in girls video is what made me realize I was autistic, that was a long time ago. When talking about autism to other people, I used to mention "autism presentation in females", at one point a male friend told me he related to some of the traits that I was calling feminine autistic traits. and that's when I realized it didn't sit right with me to call those traits feminine. I absolutely love that you created this video as an update, it really articulates the problem with autism and gender. I think keeping your original video up is great as well, because it helped me get diagnosed and I can only imagine how many others it helped! As always, I love your content :)
Thank you so much for this. I've reached out to other TH-cam creators who are still pushing this binary form of autism. THERE IS JUST AUTISM, AUTISM IS NOT GENDERED. Sorry for the caps. I'm a trans woman with friends who are nonbinary and other transgender people, who all are confused when autism is explained in a binary sense. Again thank for bringing up the overwhelming link with autism and the lgdtqia+. ❤️❤️🥰 All this makes my heart happy.
Obviously autism isn’t gendered but at the same time the way we are treated as we grow up has an impact on the way we show our autistic traits and people who are seen as girls are treated differently to people who are seen as boys
@@ellenm9860 yet it's not a binary, things can depend on where you live, your character, the way you show traits etc
@@ellenm9860 ofc people will get treated differently when they even got different traits
@@black-nails patriarchy is everywhere though lol
@@ellenm9860 patriarchy affects all people differently & it's only one part of the puzzle. There's a lot of things that goes into how you show your traits, like were they living in ableist community (some families, especially poor/ immigrants have very bad tolerance towards any sign of disabilities), were they black, if they were queer etc. All of these things can force you to mask harder no matter your gender or perceived sex.
Living in "similar" culture doesn't mean it will result in the same impact.
Yup, I'm a trans man who basically has what's called the "female presentation". =D
TBH, that's never actually bothered me, specially since I know cis men who have this presentation as well.
But I agree with you. I think with time it would be more helpful to simply see them as different traits, which can also come mixed, I've seen them mixed in people before. Over time, with more understanding, I think there should be more normalization of all these traits inside a spectrum.
Shy sensitive masks? Cold tactless logical? It depends what mood I'm in hehe! I feel better after that video because being white male cis and presenting supposedly like a female felt weird because I felt maybe I was appropriating something. I even felt as a child and adolescent that I was born in the wrong body, but it was nothing to do with gender, I think it was a variation on the sensation of "being an alien". It would be nice to have a non-gendered way of putting one's characteristics on the spectrum and that theme was something I really identified with in the video.
I am a cis woman (well maybe slightly on an agender scale) and I have mostly "male" traits except I mask heavily. But I never felt less of a woman because of it. I think traits by themselves in general don't really have gender qualities, just what we project into them. So I absolutely agree 😄
I will always respect people who can admit when they need to correct their thinking. I'm so happy to have people who love to continue to grow, in this community.
Sorry, this is not relevant, but I LOVE this new paint colour
I was just noticing it when I scrolled past your comment. Such a beautiful coral shade.
i don't see how this is not relevant. especially how it could be Less relevant than a paint color, however lovely.
Was thinking the same thing during the video! It's such a calming shade.
@@antler8019 Ah, I should have been more clear in my phrasing. I meant to say "Sorry for making an off-topic comment, but I LOVE this new paint colour".
@@ZoyaStreet ahhh!!! lol. i totally misread that!
I love this!
The way I can make sense of this concept of "gendered autism" now is to think that women are socialised so differently that our autism tends to look different to an outside observer, the same way that female behaviour in general tends to look different from male due to nurture and societal expectations. As long as that is the case, I think that's important to recognise, especially if that leads to more women being diagnosed.
I'm a woman diagnosed age 34 and it's exactly those problematic "10 female autistic traits" videos led to me seeking a diagnosis which has been a wonderful thing in my life. At the same time, the binary gender stereotyping always felt a bit uncomfortable. I am cis but relatively indifferent to my gender and I've never felt particularly "girly" or feminine and I've always thought gender stereotyping is rubbish in general, so I love that you're talking about this and I totally agree that the mental health field needs an overhaul!
I agree so much!!
I always thought that the different presentation had to do with cultural / societal tendencies. I feel very comfortable around other autistics regardless of gender, as regardless of presentation, there’s an underlying foundation of ‘rightness’ to me.
So, I think using what we considered the ‘female’ presentation as something more like a larger part of the autistic patchwork, we can be more inclusive while not throwing out the differing presentations. It would also be nice to see common autism symptoms from outside the western world.
People are complicated and confusing. 😝
The most telling sign of autism I've seen, which is present in an overwhelming majority of cases, is a disillusionment with societal norms, and the belief that they could be changed for the better, and in many cases a willingness to lead by example in rejecting a few of these norms. These could be linguistic norms, gender roles, public etiquette, or societal power structures.
This explains Tumblr, Marx, Silicon Valley, Richard Stallman, Louis XIV, and Robespierre, among others.
@@charliekahn4205 we are not truly disabled, they are just scared of us /j /s
This was excellent, thank you. Also, the complete harmony of the color palette made my eyes very happy.
Me too !!!
Brava! Thank you for your perspective on incorrect assumptions in the field of Psychology that need a thorough reorganization. Well said!
Thank you for this update! As someone who is non-binary but was assigned female I certainly found your original video very helpful (I think was the first video of yours I watched) but there was always this nagging feeling of invalidation in my mind whenever I see it or videos similar to it on the matter. I agree we should definitely move our language and understanding instead to "less common" or "less talked about" autistic traits
I am so glad that I found your channel. Back last year, I had contacted a therapist who specialized in diagnosing Autism. She refused to test me for Autism because of mental health conditions that I have and said that the traits that were deemed as Autistic were because of those conditions. I decided to find a local Clinical Psychologist who tested me, and low and beholds, I am Autistic. I just received my diagnosis on April 29th. Because of your channel, I kept trying. Thank you. I'm also Transgender Genderqueer, Non-binary AFAB.
Congratulations and well done for persevering!
“When I did my psych degree 15 years ago...” I’m sorry, what?! How old are you?! I thought you were 25
I thought she 34 too... thinking the same
I think it’s an autistic trait that we look younger than we actually are.
@@andreagriffiths3512 it is!
@@andreagriffiths3512 strange! When I was 14 people thought I was 21. Now I’m 21 and people think I’m 14. Idk wtf is going on lol
@@FaerieElethia same but I’m 18
This channel is gold. Thank you, it's very helpful.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the video!
I feel like it also doesn't help the point that there isn't a 'girls' or 'boys' autism, where there are youtube channels making various videos specifically about girls. Like one channel in the last few months has "Female Autism Checklist", "9 Autism in Girls Symptoms", "Autism in Girls...", ... Which is great to share and definitely helps to raise awareness, but it doesn't really account for people who aren't girls with those traits. And I've seen some people questioning their autism because they identify as male, but also have majority 'female traits'.
Totally agree with you, as a man that wasn't diagnosed until I was 40 and just labeled as shy all my life I don't like how people talk about gendered autism, autism is far more complex then that. The only info I've found that's been helpful in my case has been info about 'girls autism'. I do feel like kinda homeless in the autism community, I don't fit in anywhere.
This 💯. We absolutely needed to raise awareness that this isn't an exclusively male disorder, but at the same time, we shouldn't swing the pendulum the other way and have less effected males be missing out on helpful diagnoses. As someone who reads through a lot of the research, I can tell you on the neurological and endocrinological side of things, there's no difference. Any change in presentation across males and females is therefore going to be incredibly minor, and should be de-emphasized.
Yep. I myself don't like how gendered these traits are.
I majored in psychology as well. Most of autistic people do ironically, because of not just us being humanistic in nature, but also we knew unconsciously, that there was something different about our selves. It is in our nature to problem solve. One thing I believe is that we all share some type of dual brain. This can confuse most people who do not understand our aspergs.
@@Tim_G_Bennett We all share some type of dual brain that is why people are getting confused. Read my public reply😁
Thanks for doing a review of previous discussions Sam, thoroughly agree with the non-gendered mindset about it. Me, my wife, and both of our kids are Autistic (one girl and one boy child) and the spectrum of traits amongst the four of us are wildly different, and all four of us show traits from BOTH sides of that "gendered" diagnostic mindset. Great discussion!
I love this video so much, thank you for sharing your thoughts about all of this! I’m nonbinary, and I’m here like “I get to exist, yea!” any time creators acknowledge that trans and nonbinary people are also affected groups in x community. I really appreciate that, it’s a nice feeling, not having to just kinda follow along with cisgender women as an afterthought, because I was socialized in the same way as them and therefore will (seemingly) always be viewed as one of them by medical professionals.
I’m only self-diagnosed at the moment only because within the last month did I find all these awesome autistic creators and realize their stories are just like mine, and it’s the thing that makes sense to explain how my brain works. I really do want an official assessment, but in the US, it really depends on where you live whether you have ANY access to decent healthcare, let alone decent mental health care, and I live in a very poor state. So part of me is very worried that if I manage to secure an assessment nearby, I’ll be assessed only against outdated and stereotypical male presentations and therefore will end up being medically gaslit yet again. My special interests were never stereotypically female (muscle cars, fighter jets, musculoskeletal anatomy, theoretical astrophysics, not things that should ever be gendered or restricted to certain kinds of people to be naturally inclined toward and denied to others), and I do have a very rational, logical, systematizing type of processing everything (emotions, mine and others; information, etc.). So who knows. Maybe my saving feature will be that I definitely struggle to have eye contact and haven’t ever had a relationship, maybe that’ll be stereotypical enough, lmao.
Anyway, spilled my life story there, didn’t I? (Slightly bemused eye roll.) Love the video, thank you for sharing. It really does help, that best of an imposter syndrome likes to pop up when I hear only about cisgender stereotypes that I don’t perfectly fit into in terms of autistic presentations-but really, does ever cisgender person fit into them perfectly, anyway? Probably not very often, or not without ignoring some core part of themself.
You have helped me so much last year. I was diagnosed last August with ASD level 1 and OCD. Your last video you speak of or more so the one you spoke on your diagnose. I felt heard, loved, and cried with joy of understanding myself better. Thank you.
Thank you Sam! This is exactly the conversations we need to be having!! Your early videos helped me seek a diagnosis for myself & while I recognised many of the "female traits" in myself, I also had many of the "male traits". My 9yo daughter and myself are both very cis-gendered "girly-girls", however we both have very logical, mathematical brains, we are truly mixed when it comes to the spectrum and I know many others like us!! I also agree that psychology is broken in many ways & psychologists should actually take a leaf out of doctors books and start to learn to specialise and therefore only treat their recognised specialty: you go to a GP for a referral to a specialist - if you have a broken leg, you wouldn't get a referral to a gynaecologist... Psychology needs to be the same!
Trans viewer here. Subscribed to you about a month ago when I started suspecting I may be autistic. Just wanted to say I appreciate this upload. ^_^
I'm autistic and recently realized I'm transgender, so to hear you talk so candidly about this is very much appreciated!
I’m also autistic and recently discovered that I’m non-binary.
Keep being yourself I'm proud of ya 😉👍🏻
also autistic here! i recently found out i was trans too :D
The visual stimming is on point in this video. Oh the colors... two of my own favorites. Your clothes match your bed and your bed to the rest of the room. I'm so happy about it! And thank you for the video also
Beautifully said, I really appreciate that you continue to grow with your research and share it with us. Thank you for your honesty and transparency with this subject.
THANK YOU!!! as a trans person always having to look up "female autism traits" made me very uncomfortable, i really hope this stops:/
Would calling it AFAB Autistic traits make you feel better or is that bad too? Genuine question.
@@LangkeeLongkee it is still pretty uncomfy for me but its a bit better
@@mementomori1926 okay i see. Well i forgot to mentions "more common for". I naturally assumed it wasnt like a required thing yanno? So would that distinction help? Like these symptoms tend to present more in AFAB people but anyone can experience any symptom? I hope Im not being rude
@@LangkeeLongkee no worries ur not being rude!!saying some traits are more common on afab people is ok, personally its still kind of weird but i see why is helpful sometimes:)
"Done is better than perfect." I need to plaster this all over my house.
Thank you for touching on this. I run a support group for Neurodivergent employee's at my work and was diagnosed with Autism last year. I learned about my Autism through videos and papers about "female" Autism. I'm a fantastic masker and I do it subconsciously at this point but am certainly not female.
Even when I learned I was Autistic I felt othered in an othered community. Now that I've connected with the community I know that's just wrong but when I try to help men/nonbinary/trans people understand their Autism I have to show them gendered material and talk them through it. I finally have made my own slide deck and am doing my own webinar for our company to explain it.
thank you for making this video! i’ve been questioning if i’m on the autism spectrum and i happen to be a transmasc individual. that fact that i was socialized “as a girl” growing up had a big impact on how my symptoms present themselves and how good i’ve gotten at masking my symptoms and essentially pretending that i was neurotypical. its definitely been interesting to both explore my gender identity further and see how my autistic traits have sort of “come out” the more comfortable i’ve gotten in my gender identity. society really does put a lot of pressure on feminine presenting neurodivergent folks to hide their symptoms, so as i’ve started presenting more masculine and become more comfortable in my own body through my transition i’ve sort of gotten to experience how cisgender males with neurodivergent traits are treated. the difference is astonishing and absolutely unacceptable.
"We don't raise children in a vacuum... literally or figuratively" 😂
I know, right?! I was actually picturing a child inside a vacuum cleaner when she said that, and then I totally cracked up when she said "literally or figuratively" because I felt like my autism was SEEN!
Just wanted to say huge thanks for creating this much needed video. Found you a while ago whilst searching for content specifically about autistic traits in girls when my daughter was being referred for assessment. She was subsequently diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD at age 10 (she’s now almost 12 so just in the nick of time 😅 ) and she’s pretty high on the spectrum, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected. As her mum, and also someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, I’m now starting to turn the autism spotlight towards myself, simply because of what I’ve learned about autism in girls and women, thanks in part to your content. Particularly the prevalence of masking. I have close female friends in their 50’s who are autistic who tell me they believe they’ve masked their entire lives. I haven’t reached the assessment stage yet, but I (and my partner) strongly suspect I have ASD traits.
I’ve gone down Samantha Craft’s list and it’s a big list of ticks for me, so an ASD assessment may be on the cards at some point. Thanks again for your brilliant content x
I love the part you said about autism being a spectrum. I originally researched autism because a student of mine was diagnosed and I wanted more information to help her in the classroom. What I ended up doing was recognizing myself in a lot of traits I didn’t realize were autism traits. It always made me uncomfortable - the labels, male and female traits. I’m glad you are being more inclusive of trans and non binary people! As always, great video. Thank you!
Thank you so much for informing people about autism in girls I was undiagnosed autistic in high school and was just diagnosed at 20. I spent my entire life being told I was crazy and thinking something was deeply wrong with me. When I found your channel I realized I was just autistic. Thank you for helping me get the help I need and be heard for the first time in my life.
also the same for asexual people, dont know why but a huge group of us are autistic
Love this! Absolutely fascinating, thank you.
Very much reflecting my own autistic journey - first learning about autism in girls, getting diagnosed as an adult, learning about and rejecting the idea of extreme male brain, then realising that these so called female traits of autism occur across all genders.
It's great that people are realising autism isn't just a male thing and as a result more women are finally finding clarity - but it's also important that things don't shift to just two gendered options, with a list of girl traits and a list of boy traits. They're all autistic traits and any person could have any combination of those traits. When we start gendering these things it just creates more potential for misdiagnosis and it doesn't help anyone.
I found out I was autistic because of your channel . I am AFAB and present female but I’ve never really thought myself as a gender at all and have wished to present myself differently but I’m just comfortable with what I’m used to at this point. I’ve always said since I was young I would end up being the crazy old lady with multi colored hair that walks around in the craziest outfits but it’s always been more comfortable to just blend in.
It seems I will never stop seeing ACAB before I have to read again.
Thank you for continuing to learn and grow. I have two children who show "female autism" traits; one male, one female. The struggle is real.
thank you for coming back to this! im nonbinary and pretty sure im autistic!!
i love the colors in the background so much, the way that coral pink matches the moss green??? so beautiful
I saw a video from Paul, most where people just tired of sociality and let their Autism show when they got older.
Sorry for being dumb, but who's Paul?
@@vip3re Paul creates content called Asperger's on the inside
I saw one of his videos first, then I found Sam and Purple Ella and a couple of others. In true ASD fashion, I started watching every video and taking every quiz. It was crazy to me how much I identified with what Paul was saying, which then led me to to the suggestions on others. I'm in my 50's and just now starting to understand that I may be on the spectrum. Testing for it wasn't even a thing when I was in school. I've masked my "weird" behaviors my entire life and yes, now in my 50's I'm exhausted from "behaving normal" (socially acceptable) all the time, and I find that I just don't have the bandwidth to do it anymore. There's a great line in the film "The Family Stone" that says "let your freak flag fly". That's me these days. All the stress from the pandemic has me feeling a certain kind of way about continuing the facade of normality. I'm done. It is what it is and I'm just going to be me.
Sam,
I watched the first video you did on autism in girls when you made it (I was already watching your videos back then, wow! I had just left a job I had for 5 years working as a tutor for an autistic girl and her mom constantly asked if I was autistic, so I found you looking for info.) and the lack of commentary on GNC people and gendering of traits really didn't sit well with me (I am nonbinary myself). However, that video and many of your videos that followed helped me recognize the autistic traits I have and, a bit like gender norms, allowed me to accept myself as a blend of "both" types of autism. I'm so grateful that you have reconsidered your first video and made this video. I've been looking for a video like this one for a long time. I know there are others out there, but your knowledge, presentation style, jokes, and genuine kindness are what I look for in content, so I'm so happy to see this. I hope this video reaches other autistic people outside the gender binary too.
I don't mind that this is short either, though I do love your longer videos. The fact that it is here and very digestible means a lot. Thanks again. :) :) :)
I was diagnosed last year, after I saw your video (and, to be fair, quite a few others) about autism, and asked to get tested. I was initially diagnosed with social anxiety, unspecified personality disorder and panic disorder 20 years ago, but things finally clicked for me with this diagnosis. I remember doing autism tests back in the day on my own, but I took the questions (which were directed at boys) quite literally, and since I didn't play with miniature trains or have phenomenal mathematical talent, I figured, my life-long sense of being an alien was just because of my anxiety - when in fact, as I've now understood, my anxiety is caused by the fact that I don't see the world quite like the others.
I'd love to see you do a video on the link between ASD and being gender non-conforming. I've heard about this before, and it's something I'd love to learn more about. I'm female, but I've never felt quite womanly enough to call myself that, so although I don't quite label mysel as nonbinary, I'm kinda in between that and woman. I didn't give this much thought before my ASD diagnosis, because I assumed it was all to do with my anxiety, but I really don't like calling myself a woman.
As an AFAB early 20 year old Enby that is self diagnosed (with the help of all your videos may I add!), this video was so pure, good and amazing. Thank-you so much! Watching all the 'autism in girls' videos is something that I've had to resign myself to doing so that I can understand the 'full spectrum' of autism, but it is extremely dysphoric for me. Having this video to fall back on, especially to be able to show my parents when I come out to them as an autistic Enby, is really really helpful, and has no end in helping. Anyway, thank-you, and all the luck to you in your pregnancy!
I am happy that you had the nerve to do this video. You always give me something to think about.
As a nonbinary autistic person I wanted to say thank you so much for this video.
I was dating someone who I hadn't talked to about my likely autism, and he said something about a lot of men being "too autistic" for him to easily talk to.
Short version, we aren't dating anymore.
I’m sorry you went through that :,(
*hugs*
Thank you for this very important video I have missed for such a long time in all the autism related youtube channels. As a man (non cis) who identifiy with the autism traits in women (or at least much more as with most of the 'male' ones, especially regarding masking), it seems that I have finally found my place in the non gendered autism. Gender is a spectrum as autism is. Your video is a relief for me because it puts my thoughts into words.
I can agree. My sister has more "boys traits" but me I have more "female traits" we need to just look at it like you said a spectrum. There are just different things for diff people
Interesting! Your old video (and/or similar ones) have been in my recommendations forever, and I've never clicked it, because of this. I am an adult female diagnosed with autism in childhood. My "challenging" behaviour was kinda hard to miss for anyone. I'm aware that this has given me a very benificial starting position to adult life, but it has it's own challenges en hearing things like "girls are underdiagnosed because they tend to be better behaved", still gives me a pang in my heart. So, thanks for this!
Really glad you made this video. I am a guy, but the way my presumed autism has presented fits much more closely with the 'female' variety.
Yessssss I think "female type autism" is more like "initially unnoticed/ignored aspects of autism" (I also think that certain personality types tend to make these traits more or less obvious or cause someone to fall under more stereotypical presentations)
This really helped me. Since being diagnosed, I'm wrestling with gender. I've been thought of as gay or feminine all my life; what people didn't know all my life is that I'm Autistic. So, as usual, I am presenting in a "female" sort of way. I think I've misconstrued this over the years, saying I relate better with women. I've never felt female, even as I've been repulsed by masculinity at times. Maybe I will suddenly decide I am non-binary, but so far, the best way I've been able to conceptualize it is thinking of myself as demi-gendered and demi-sexual. All that said, so much (or maybe all) of my struggle isn't so much with gender, or my gender, but rather with society's expectations and commentary on me, my behavior, my gender. No wonder. It's also pretty absurd to try to "gender" brains, or at least it seems that way to me at first blush. It's a feedback loop where we are damaged by the gender dichotomy but also reinforce it, sometimes when trying to do the opposite.
That is some spot on colour co-ordination between your outfit and the room around you.
😀
Yeah that's pretty dang close to my favorite color combination
That autism in girls video kind of saved my life and therefore will have a special place in my heart for ever lol😂 But, I definitely understand the issue with presenting it that way and the exclusion that comes with it. So it's good you cleared that up now. This was a very interesting video and well explained even though there was a lot to unfold. And the colors were so pleasant to watch🙂
As someone who is currently working through the possibility of being autistic and identifying as queer, this video is spot on. Also, whilst I present as predominantly feminine, I would say that my brain also feels neither feminine or masculine.
I love this reflection and expansion of these concepts! I've noticed in the collectives I connect to that autism is being understood to be a "human" condition more and more. I *love* how new communities (in reddit there is an "autisminwomen" subreddit) are a good "way point" for many of us who resonate in with that term due to the gender socialization of decades. And that space/this video, allows us to learn about ourselves and each other, to help build towards that consensus of understanding about the condition itself and how we, as people on the spectrum, process the world. I have been sharing this video to my favorite groups because I really feel its a wonderful example of the permission to change our opinions/minds once new evidence is presented. Thank you for creations!
Thank you for another very good and nuanced video. Since my diagnosis, five years ago, I have never thought that men would only have "male" autistic traits and women only "female" ones, because I noticed traits from both "sides" in myself, but it is nice to hear it from someone I consider knowledgeable on the subject.
thank you 😭😭😭😭 this makes me feel extremely seen and i'm eternally grateful!!
i'd love to hear you talk more about psychology and reforming our current understanding - that's something i'm extremely interested, especially given my own experiences. i'd also love to see you discuss how autistic people get misdiagnosed as BPD (and the racist/eugenicist origins of personality disorders). i know so many autistic trans and cis women as well as other enbies and trans masc folk (no cis men, tho) who get lost in the system cuz of that label and it's so hard to watch them struggle. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I’m Autistic and afab - and I’m in STEM, was a tomboy growing up, dinosaurs/insects/rocks were my special interest, and then coding as a teen. I struggled with eye contact, and was told this was due to “deceitful behavior” or “sin.” The most male-autism trope you can imagine, except it wasnt seen as Autism until I was a teen. Wasn’t diagnosed until last year. So I am really glad you’re bringing up the topic of de-gendering autism. I have low empathy but very high compassion. I have several amazing female friends, but have experienced a lot of mistreatment from neurotypical girls, even now, It is so complex! I never felt like girl or boy, just Autistic.
I found an old first aid book that directed you to slap a hysterical woman twice. >.>
i’m-
I honestly need someone to slap me just so I can wake up 😂
It probably was racist as well.
One of the traits that autistic people can have is one of the traits I love the most: liking & putting into practice nice things. Making things look harmonious. Making things look comfortable.
Your new design of the room looks so nice, Yo Samdy Sam!
Greetings from Berlin, Germany
Thank you! I really appreciate this video
I got my autism diagnosis last month and I have been watching a lot of your videos. As a trans person it has been very painful to listen and read about autism and have some of my trains gendered one way or another. Gendered language can really alienate people who are just starting to research autism and might stop them from learning very valuable things just because it has a tag of 'male' or 'female' on it.
I'm a 25 y/o autistic afab person who had very prominent and obvious telltale symptoms of it my entire life from infancy and struggled significantly in school because of social anxiety from being autistic. And I never really masked either. There were situations where I did my best to do so obviously, yes, but I was seen by numerous psychiatrists etc for diagnosis because of these issues as a child and I never masked when seeing those doctors when they evaluated me, for example. I never had the energy to go that far with it.
I also had an abusive family who in large part abused me for being autistic and these doctors never even suggested I could be autistic at any point. They just diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and insisted it must be because I'm being bullied at school or else they're clueless, even though I repeatedly told them I was not bullied at school. They just didn't care about any other narrative.
I also always described that I'm anxious around people "because people are mean to me" and every time I said that line I was served with "Well, some people are going to be mean, you just have to get over it." And like, no, I meant that people are always randomly aggressive, which nowadays I believe is because people would take offense over things such as tone of voice etc without me intending it. I had selective mutism for years as a child over this and I still have issues with this now as an adult. I think it's an incredible disservice that I was not diagnosed when it was clear as day when I was like 4.
Can ppl with autism have a hard time understanding what it is? Like I know my experiences such as with hyper empathy, stimming, hyper focusing, issues with certain noises, etc but in my head it’s hard to completely understand because it’s such a broad spectrum. Idk can we mask to ourselves?
The best TH-camr collabs are the ones that involve coordinating topics AND matching outfits
“Gendering autistic traits adds no value”. Ok, good point. Thank you for your work thinking on this and explaining it as well as you have! My family has benefitted very much from that first viral video, but mostly because of the expansion of the picture of autistic traits. This expanded picture may apply to both a male and a female in my family.
This is my first time hearing about this and I'm intrigued. My younger brother was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was a kid. I was technically diagnosed with so many different things that my child mind picked the things I was most familiar with (ADD, PTSD, anxiety and depression) and ran with them. But honestly, even with those I always felt "off". Like there was more but I couldnt put my finger on it. It started when I was a child but was old enough to start noticing and questioning things, like why I could understand my brother but no one else could even before he could talk, and why I felt differently about things than other people in my age group. Once my brother was diagnosed I started getting very interested in mental stuff like this. Thank you for introducing me to something new, now I'm off to do more research!
I'm gay engaged and that line about ‘you can't be autistic because you're married’ made me laugh. I am exploring my own possible autism and I confess, that stereotype has been part of my internal resistance to looking into this.
Thanks for staying humble and embracing progress. I appreciate your channel so much! And thanks for the mention of Maria Montessori and eugenics. I had no idea! 😬 but as a mom to toddler/preschool kids, I also appreciate the Montessori style.
Brilliant, thank you. As a nonbinary afab person, I have been talking about a "classic" presentation and a "modern" presentation. When I have friends who are trans or nonbinary starting to wonder if they are autistic, I warn them of the gendered nature of much of autistic research/diagnosis and the online community may be triggering, but if every they use the frame of classical vs modern if may help. Autistic traits are human traits and humans are autistic no matter the gender identity. Maintaining a gendered system harms all of us.
OK "Classic" & "modern" presentations - love that!
I'm not even yet sure I'm autistic, but everything you've said are the things that I've been thinking intensely about. Thank you so much for doing this.
I’m glad you made this video you’re cool. I’m about to visit a specialist for my official diagnosis. I was born with an intersex condition and women with my condition were found to have autism like 20% more than the general population in a study. We present with more male characteristics.
Thank you for all you do for the community with these videos. And thank you for caring enough to correct your previous assumptions 🌻💜
YES! as a trans man i get so dysphoric because i have “female” autistic traits and no where could i find anything about how it affects us so you said this perfectly
Excellent video! Nice and clear take on this aspect of the philosophy of science /psychology. I also agree that the older video still has huge value as well.
I do question myself why autistic people seems to be gayer, I myself I’m an autistic cis woman and I’m Demisexual panromantic and it seems a lots of us are LGBT+ 🏳️🌈 , also in my case I do have the “female” autism but I love and und your perspective is totally true!
Thank you for this! I was one of the ones who watched your original video and thought, "But I align more with the traditional male 'Asperger' autism..." Gender is not something I've ever really understood, since I don't feel "male" or "female." You might even see in my pictures that I've gone the other way and tried to be "hyperfeminine" in a way that is more historical, since I don't understand accurately what hyperfemininity means in 2021 (it might involve a lot more exercise lol - not for me!) It's a problem, and I'm getting away from it and actually dressing more 1800s masculine now (which is pretty feminine for today). I honestly think the lack of gender understanding has more to do with the fact that gender expectations are a social and cultural issue. You can see the changes in how men and women express gender throughout the course of history, almost as if there is a "male culture" and a "female culture" that changes over time. Being autistic, I don't really fit in any culture. So I might not actually be non-binary, just unable to uphold the social expectations of being female.
The other issue is that even when a man with autism and a woman with autism act the SAME, a psychologist may perceive them totally differently due to gender biases. That's the one thing that is in the power of the industry to change!
Thank you so much for the sentence 'So I might not actually be non-binary....' That may be me. I'm a woman who's been happily married to a man for over 50 years and we have 4 children, but, although I accept I'm female, I have never felt feminine. I hated being given girly toys and wearing pretty clothes as a child and 20 years ago gave up skirts for trousers with a sigh of relief. Finding out I was on the spectrum 3 years ago, aged 69, has changed my life and I'm gradually shedding a lifetime's layers of masks. (Ironic that Ihave to wear physical ones at the moment!) The good thing about getting older is the 'dont give a damn' attitude that's finally helping me accept who I am, ie a Person beyond gender and society's norms.
@@lindseyharland4872 That describes me as well - I was born female, I accept that I am female, I'm totally fine with being female, but I don't "feel" female (or male, or anything else in any way related to gender). Being female has never had any particular importance in my life or my sense of self.
I also hated "girly" toys like toy ovens and baby dolls (I preferred Hot Wheels, craft kits or science experiment kits, or books), and I've always gravitated toward interests which are typically seen as more male-dominated (like computers, video games, guitar, metal music - I was even obsessed with dinosaurs to such a degree that I declared at age 7 that I wanted to be a paleontologist, and that stuck all the way until I was 20 and in my second year of college as a geology major). I never found many friendships with other girls because I just couldn't relate to them very well, and most of my friends throughout life have been male.
I also knew even when I was a child myself that I didn't want to have children, and at 41 now, I've never had the slightest pang of maternal longing. But I'm also happily married to a man, have had romantic relationships with men/boys my whole life, have never had any romantic or sexual attraction to other females, and I've never even considered that any of the "boyish" (or at least non-"girlish") things about me meant anything other than...I'm a person with things I'm interested in. I honestly didn't even notice that so many of my interests were more typical of males/less typical of females until just a few years ago. It just never even occurred to me to think about it that way. 🤷♀️
I really love that you came back with more knowledge and admitted you didn't know as much in the first video. That is true growth, and should be celebrated. Thank you for this discussion! I found it so enlightening 💙🙏
Collab on overalls and topic. Surely no accident.
Great job on presenting a reassessed approach to an idea. Teaching that part has nothing to do with autism (I think) and would be a great thing for the world.
I'm also reassessing my language in how I talk about my daughter and autism. Keep shining the light.