Charles Schultz the creator of Peanuts, sent a drawing in reply to a fan letter from a little boy. The boy's mother wrote back and said "He liked your drawing so much he ate it." and Schultz said that was the best compliment he could ever have received. Lol.
Well it makes sense to have a desire to be a part of something that you love ,and eating it is one way to make it a part of you after all you are what you eat right.
Same here! Instead of having imaginary friends, I would always create stories and characters. One of my closest friends and I (who is also suspected to be on the spectrum) would make these “clans” of birds that we created, which we uncreatively named “peacocks”. At first, they were our enemies, and we could always “smell” rotten eggs when they got near. Eventually, we started to tame the imaginary birds. We did all of this over the course of years.
I’m not autistic, just very ADHD, but I couldn’t make imaginary friends either (or when I did I would only have them for a split second and create another one that wouldn’t last long at all either) So I actually just stared at picture books and imagined the characters moving. I’d grab the lowest reading level books because those were the prettiest and had more pictures that I could use for my own interpretation (kinda like playing dolls without any dolls) and characters and I’d imagine the town and the people on the pages moving, I’d make my own stories. I kinda miss being able to play pretend.
I cried watching this. Regardless of if I'm autistic or not, I cried watching this because as a currently 14 y/o kid with mental health issues I've never been able to put my experiences into words, so I get overwhelmed and emotional when other people can do it for me.
I cried reading this. I have a 14 yo daughter that I am going through a journey of mental health issues with. I feel lost most days and I just don't know how to fix this. I hope you both find peace in your journey.
@Tracey Rodgers mama's are not always "fixers", sometimes we're the best silent supporters. In order for a person to go far, they must go together, with another. If she goes alone, she'll just go fast. I pray for you guys emotional balance on this journey and may the two of you find yourselves and each other, together ❤️.
@Tracey Rodgers I wish you luck. A few things I think are important from experience with my own parents: Remind you love them occasionally, don't encourage them, but let them cry as much as they need (it's also potentially a sign for opening up), start a calm but serious conversation making it clear you know somethings wrong (and that you're prepared to help), encourage leaving their room and the house but don't be mad if they dont, notice for signs of them neglecting self care and health (like skipping showers, being up very late, not cleaning their room etc) this is a bit dark but notice for potential signs of self harm or suicidle tendencies (these won't always be there, but sometimes they are. Also, hitting yourself also sadly counts) I hope this helps. Sorry if I write in a confusing way! And this might be different for them cus every child is different. The fact that you care is already a wonderful step that, sadly, not all parents take. Edit: AND OFCORSE if you can afford it, then a therapist. It's so important long term but I understand if it isn't possible!
One time I was punished in school, locked up alone in a meeting room. Was so disappointed when the punishment was over. Teachers didn’t know being alone in a bright, quiet, big room was a treat, not a punishment. They didn’t need to lock the door, I’d gladly stay there all day.
My mother always said she couldn’t punish me by sending me to my room, because I was very happy all by myself. She could tell me to turn off the radio (no TV in my room then) and I was fine with my imagination. Turn off the light at night? Perfectly fine, good thing she didn’t believe in corporal punishment, lol.
I had a fixation that still lingers a bit, that I was being watched, first, by my father, who had recently died, then, by angels, then, by God himself. I imagined that the poster of Ricky Nelson on my wall was a portal, allowing him to see me all the way from Hollywood. I wound up dressing, peeing, and bathing in the dark. Still do, although I know perfectly well nobody’s watching me.
Hypermobility is super common in AuDHD females. The majority have it. As soon as you said you hated standing and crossing your legs or standing on tiptoes would make you feel better, I instantly suspected hypermobility and possibly POTS/low blood pressure. And then unsurprisingly you went on to say you find it hard to get comfortable when sitting normally, also a classic symptom.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Woahh that's a really interesting link. I highly suspect I have ADHD and I deal with creaky leg joints, with hyperextended arms! I was curious if I might have EDS but I don't think I have enough hypermobile traits.
@@Cindy99765 hypermobility is a spectrum - a lot like ASD/ADHD. My ND friend has hypermobile fingers, arms and flat feet but otherwise isn’t particularly flexible. I’m not particularly flexible but my joints click a lot and I have posture, neck and upper back problems, I have slight dysautonomia and ADD.
@@AlexisTwoLastNames yes, very common especially if you tend to feel dizzy or get palpitations upon standing up quickly or standing for too long. My ND friend is in a choir and he fainted from standing for too long, he has hypermobile arms, fingers and low blood pressure.
I never lied that much because every morning I'd get so anxious I'd have stomach pain and throw up from coughing (because of the high heart rate). Would happen the night before as well :(
My greatest memory of high school is the 6 weeks of junior year I got to stay home because I had mono🤣 I felt fine but was "contagious." Wow a month in bed, what a sacrifice haha
@@pyruvicac.id_ yeah and it was so bad they'd take me to the docs a lot, but of course once my body realised I deffo wasn't going to school it would go away so the docs thought I was faking :| why they didn't make the connection to some severe anxiety I have no idea..
Even as an adult, I can't stand up for very long. If I'm having a conversation with someone, I prefer to sit down. After I've been standing awile, I'll start to rock back and forth and bounce on my tiptoes
My peers discovered I was hiding in the bathrooms at lunch so my teachers then gave me permission to spend lunch alone in the classroom while all the other kids were in the cafeteria. It was a blessing I so appreciated and needed.
Our music director used to let his students eat lunch in the music room. And he gave me permanent passes to the music room for any free period I had. I did practice my music there. And he tutored me. But I think he knew that his music kids needed to hide. He let the forensics kids hide there with us, too.
The fantasy world is so relatable! I did this up to age 18, when I brought it up to my therapist. At first I thought it was some type of maladaptive daydreaming. Turns out it’s some kind of obsessive disassociation tool that I’d use to help ‘escape’ from my everyday troubles. It slowly faded after I got into a serious relationship and in turn spent my time thinking about the relationship instead of the fantasy!
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
I totally relate to this fantasy world when I was a kid and also with the thinking about the relationship thing you brought up. The imagination about the relationship was so horrible, I would think everyday the person would stop liking me and decide to break up and this would go on through the whole relationship until the profecy would me completed and the person would finally break things up.
@@LivingEncyclopedia I KNOW RIIGGHT!!! That always seems to be the problem with me, too. I can relate so much with ASD traits over watching her videos, but all I know is, "Ehh, but that's coming from my ADHD/giftedness?" It has been months and my question is still the same: Does ADHD and ASD have *_this_*_ much_ overlaps or do I actually have both????
Lying about what's really going on inside. That is my life. Inventing a fake illness on the spot is so much easier and less exhausting than trying to explain AND JUSTIFY my mood for the moment. Saying, "I have a headache," is so much easier than saying: "I have been building a scenario in my head, inspired from something that happened a year ago, which has upset me and I although I am happy with the person in reality, the person in the section of the scenario that I have invented has really upset me. I am also frustrated because this hasn't really happened but I want to respond to it as if it were real. I am also upset because this is MY head but I can't stop my head from inventing more of the scenario and it's taking up space!!!"
I really resonate with your words. I've been working to a place of believing my feelings are more valid than any excuse I could make. I also think it signifies better trust in the person I'm communicating with.
I learnt as a kid that 'I feel sick' was acceptable by adults but 'I feel weird' was weird/not normal. Unlearning lying about how I feel has/is a hard journey
I reckon what you described , you are perfectly ok with just saying -I have a headache. It doesn't sound like a lie at all. Describing ones real thoughts and mentality to other people never actually seems to be a good thing. That is my experience.
Ahh you put it into words! Also my mum (very dear to me but isn’t very helpful toward mental health) is very physically focused- what event caused this headache/ sadness/ exhaustion, etc. I never know how to put into words that I feel emotionally/ socially exhausted rather than just I had a late night
"being physically sick is more acceptable than what's going on in my head..." god that hit home big time. My childhood was RIDDLED with self imposed shame.
He's right! I had to try to explain to my daughter the other day why I prefer to eat alone. I get so much indigestion if I eat and people are talking to me. I struggle when eating out with others in restaurants, especially if it's noisy. Mostly I only eat a few spoonfuls...Yep, I'm a weirdo!
My parents called me "nature girl" because I would talk to the trees outside of my house and gave them all names. They were like my second family. The smallest tree was female and called Betsy 😂🌲💖
For me it was cars. I used to name them on my way to school. Usually people tended to park in the same space everyday so I saw a lot of them on a daily bases. They were my friends and when I saw two cars of the same brand and color in different locations, I "connected" them in my mind so that they could speak to each other. 🚙🚗🛻😹
i thought i was crazy, i've noticed it happens with boredom or stress...i have so much to do now it seldom happens...but i still talk out loud to someone i need to discuss something with...but they're not there...i'm working out my talking points and argument plan😂😂it's a verbal journey. i have practiced how i would explain things to a counselor and realized it would take several sessions, so then would work to pare it diwn🤦♀️
My imagination is to active, so whenever I do that (which is quite often) at this point I have an extremely detailed universe with multiple different time lines so whenever I start a completely new story (which is approximately every 6 months) the steps go as followed 1 choose what planet they were born on, what kind of alien (or earth creature) they are. 2 have them go on some short adventures where I almost completely control what they do (this is to help design there personality more thoroughly) 3 designed EVERY possible time line following there entire lives! Cus yu know you wouldn’t want to settle with one version of there lives when there could be a better version waiting for them in a different timeline, right?
The rhythmic finger tapping is so real! I play the trumpet and if there is any song stuck in my head or playing out loud I cannot stop myself from mimicking the trumpet fingerings for them, and I’ve been doing it for years
I haven’t been a “band kid” since dropping out right before grade 11 (my favorite instructor left, and the passion wasn’t fueled by the many turnover teachers). To this DAY, I continue to stim to fingering different parts, transposing scores in my head between instruments, and whistling the various parts of different marching band tunes I covered. I love collaging the Bari Sax, Alto Sax, Flute, and Piccolo parts of “Stars and Stripes Forever” into a chaotic amalgamation of dynamic, neurodivergent bliss. Thank you for sharing, your comment brought a big smile to my heart ❤❤
once we learned typing in school, i would type out my thoughts on an imaginary keyboard in my lap a lot. like a diary that didnt exist. I stopped doing it when a teacher was yelling at the whole class for something i didnt have any part in, and she asked me what i was doing, and i said typing, she basically mocked me in front of the whole class. gotta love american public school huh
I started doing this when I learned to type at 15, and still do it now, at the age of 41. Before I learned to type, I used my pointer finger to write things out in cursive...typing made this stim a lot more efficient. 😆 Sorry your teacher mocked you for it, though.
This this this!!! So my mom and I both type things in the air with our fingers on invisible keyboards. Neither of us knew till recently were autistic and neither of us knew the other person also did the typing thing.
I love typing, I’m surprised I never did this. I would imagine all the words in the air tho cuz I watched an episode of criminal minds (which I was obsessed with) where this guy imagined all the words people said and based on what color the letters were was how he knew who to trust.
Maladaptive daydreaming...huge habit into my adult life, even after I had children. Had what seems like a near death experience and it all went away, almost overnight. Strange.
How did your maladaptive daydreaming go away overnight??? What!? I feel like I would have near death experience too! I'm just so accustomed to it. It's a huge part of my life. I can't imagine it without it.
@@savanimay I was in a huge depression and suicidal and I just made a decision that life had no meaning, because it felt like I was always someone else/ somewhere else. But after I made the decision that it was meaningless and over I felt like I had a visitation, I had like a vision of a lady in a purple dress and I felt like a steady stream of unconditional love. And then for the next six weeks I kept having what felt like a digital download, that I am responsible for everything in my life, that I am experiencing the consequence of every choice I ever made. I kept hearing the phrase "you have been so mean to her". I couldn't figure out who the you was in relation to the her or who was speaking. The maladaptive daydreaming was a way to avoid responsibility for my life or the cruel judgment I had passed on myself. Once I realized I'm responsible for everything, every choice I make, I stopped daydreaming. I still kind of daydream but I am the center of the daydream now, where before it was like characters in a play watching a television show. But I focus now on goals and visualizing what my future could be. I believe in the Freudian psychology of the three parts of your brain, the ID is like survival it's like a computer where our bodies are just programmed to survive and procreate, and then there's the ego and I think that's like an inner child that's who we think we are. And then there's a super ego and the superego can be very defensive of the inner child or very critical, mine was very mean and critical I had very horrible self-talk there was abusing the inner child. At least that's the most sense I can make of the whole experience.
I vividly remember a teacher very seriously calling me a liar because of how many times I said I was sick to go home early. Now I know I was not really ill but overwhelmed and just needed a quiet space to retreat and feel safe, but her telling me that I was "the boy that cried wolf" shook me to my core. I felt like she hated me and that she thought I should be punished for my need to escape, so I began to deliberately lie to my mom about being sick to not even go to school in the first place. Then when that didn't work, I would find ways to hide in school or leave early without telling any adults where I was going. I was seven at the time.
I used to hide in school whenever I could. I also used to wait until everyone else had gone into class before turning up slightly late ,just to avoid being in the queue!
I learned already in day care how to get out of situation. When we was outside, after a while I said I had to pee, no one is going to tell a 4-5 year old to hold it, so I get to go inside to pee, and I just never got out again, but enjoyed being alone inside. Though eventually the adults figured out they had to keep track of time when I said I had to go, as they realized I tended to take my sweet time getting back out.
After a melt down on a school trip (foreign country, different food, new meds, routines disturbed, then a teacher going back on what they'd said and that was just the last "straw") I was told that I use anger to try and control people... Very confusing as I hadn't been trying to control anyone and hadn't meant to be angry or upset... I spent years trying to figure out how to control my anger better, thinking I must be a dreadful person for innately using anger this way. Over a decade later, and multiple therapists, mindfulness finally helped a little, as it helps me to pick up the body cues that I'm getting frustrated or overwhelmed before the emotions burst out or I have a meltdown... And the diagnosis helped me make sense of it and realise I wasn't a bad person who was using anger to try and control people. Teachers can say such unhelpful things, about things they plain don't understand, without realising the damage it does. Then there are the occasional fantastic teachers who go out of their way to help you learn useful coping strategies, because even without any suspicion of a diagnosis they can see you need some extra support.
It actually made me quite upset that Sam said "I lied about being ill or unwell when I was anxious or overwhelmed"... Well, I guess I just interpreted that she'd say "I'm not feeling well", and that bothered me because she was really feeling unwell and anxiety is a very real illness, so it's not a lie!!! But now I'm guessing perhaps she'd say she had a fever, or a stomach ache or something, and yeah, that would be a lie, a sadly very necessary lie because, indeed, too many people think some illnesses are more real than others.
I’m sorry my heart heard every word. My 3 rd grade son is getting it hard from his teacher. He day dreams and can’t hear task so she tells him she said it go sit down. Now he is hesitant
@Vanessa D “toilets” are what we call the whole room here in britain. when we’re out places we say things like “do you know if this place has any toilets?”
We say the same thing in Australia. For example, my dog has his bedroom "in the toilet"....no, he doesn't sleep in the bowl, we call the room the toilet....
I found a bush in the school yard that I called my magic tree. and while other kids were out playing with one another I would go and hang out with the magic tree. sometimes I would buy sparkly things from the student store and hide them in the bush and then later reach into the bush and act surprised when I had found a gift that it had provided to me. hence the magic tree. I didn't really understand how to make friends with people and why they would talk about the things they would talk about.
I was a weird child, and chose to spend most of my time in my head. I did a lot of things you've mentioned, and more obsessive, false realities that I kept to myself. I've always talked to myself as well, especially to process my thoughts/feelings. I still do that, though alone. I suppose I felt shame so I tried hide so much of the things I did. I was far happier in my own world than dealing with reality.
I still have these fantasies in my head actually. And thanks to role playing, I have put my thoughts out onto paper (or should I say, phone screen) And watch my characters interact with others. Although I still go back into my mind just creating alternate realities y, know?
@@NullCantHandleFreddie I absolutely know. I've never stopped being an obsessive person 😅 That's awesome that you are watching them play out & interact. ❤️ I sometimes think how lucky am I that I can easily find people with brains like me, when I could have been born just twenty years earlier, been none the wiser, just believe I'm an alien or whatever someone incorrectly diagnosed me with.
I used to read a lot of books, and one of my favorite past time when I was not reading, was to insert myself into the story in one role or the other, (not taking over a role, but a reason I was there and how I would deal with everything going on in the books).
My son is a psychology major. He came home one day and presented me with several tests, including a masking test. I scored low on the typical test, but really high to the others, especially the masking test. Took an aspergers test and got 138 out of 200. As for ear worms... OMG, I once got The Christmas Song stuck in my head until July one year. I have to avoid Lilly Allen songs because they really really get stuck and drive me insane. I lived in a fantasy world too but as for religious beliefs I am very, very spiritual but I have had far too many miracles and paranormal experiences to not believe. I also still believe in Santa but not as everyone else does. I would lie about being sick too. I had a very difficult time in school and I never wanted to be there because I was so very uncomfortable there. I've never had texture issues with food, but I have bad reactions to having dry skin and touching things with that dry skin. I use a lot of lotion. Noise is big for me. Heavy bass or too much treble or the balance messed up at all and it will give me a melt down. Looking at things I think are ugly, like clothes with ugly colors and patterns will make me feel sick. Another thing is, I am a picker. I will pop all your zits. I will dig into your hair or ears. I used to pour sand in the crew cuts of my male friends heads so that I could pick out the sand. I was the weird girl running around the neighborhood always singing and spinning in my own magical world. Adults, older kids, and peers thought I was weird but I had a whole following of little kids who easily slid into my imagination with me.
ADHD diagnosed 30 years ago, Autistic seeds of suspicion planted 5 years ago - thriving little wildflowers in this brain now 😊 Cheers for reminding me I had a Lily Allen song stuck in my head for 2 months and it had finally escaped some time last week - it's ok tho, I am here for all of the sass in her lyrics 😝 Not necessarily paranormal but freakishly helpful intuition when I'm not clouded by environmental factors or anxiety to listen to it. I also experience recurring dreams and lucid dreaming, parts of which link to my intuition and warn me of some dangers. I very vividly remember lying to a teacher who was humiliating me in 5th grade (I was 10-11) about whether or not I'd taken my medication at lunch. I told her I had so she would leave me alone - she seemed to pick on me a lot (something else I just remembered but will wait a sec⭐). She then quietly sent someone to ask the principal to check (rude that she couldn't have quietly asked me if I had, but had to yell it across the room in front of everyone - and I was at a new school, trying to make friends, omg - yet found it quite easy and ok to keep her evil plan to make my Sh!t List on the DL) and when they returned, she put me in detention for lying. That stung. ⭐ She tried to humilate me at my first Craft Club. I'd never worked with Copper Art before and she laughed at the picture I'd chosen and told me it was for an advanced level and I wouldn't be able to do it... by the 3rd or 4th Craft Club I presented her with a perfectly debossed Lion King scene 😏 and I won a prize for Clubs for it at the end of the year. HA! *smug af* 😁 I have texture and taste issues with food. I eat everything separately/individually. But I can manage burgers with multiple food items (if they're the same or similar texture - anti soft with crunch or crunch with something pastey like mashed chickpeas). Also, connected to the contradicting myself, I can't do chunky fruit/punch type drinks but can't drink orange juice without the pulp lol I'm not ok with spices/curries or chilies - nothing too overstimulating. My dad puts a heaped teaspoon of red curry paste in everything he cooks and has ruined many foods for me. I get reactions too - I have psoriasis and allergic contact dermatitis. With the ACD I react to some detergents and most acrylates (I was a Nail Tech). With the psoriasis, cold or windy weather are not my friends. I can fall asleep next to a speaker playing heavy metal, but I can't function if I can hear eg. a distant and irregular beeping sound, or irregular hammering that I'm not in control of. Power to all the tradies who can work in pace with a metronome 😆 My face has zero tact around unpleasant things that distract and disturb me. I turn away for that reason. I am also a picker 💜💜 and we are few and far between 😭 I have a friend who is the only picker I trust to pick me but she lives in a different state now, so I have essentially trained myself to be a contortionist 😂😂 Sorry this relating/info-dump was so long 😅 I always tryyy to keep it short 😬 LOL never works!
😅 missed a thing... Santa... I believed in the magic and really miss that. And yet now, I can't deal with the not-knowing-what-a-gift-is. Santa was ruined for me as a kid, by my sister who made me hide under lounge chairs with her to watch our parents wrap presents... it still blew my mind how they were able to get all our "Santa" gifts to our aunty's house in the city tho... they couldn't hide them in the car!! ✨😮✨ lol 💯 magic!!
@@iamgiatho I love reading all these traits and I can relate to so many. I'm also a big picker. Somehow my husband missed that when we were dating. He insisted I stop picking and finger tapping and nail flicking while we were having a serious discussion but that didn't last long cause I told him I can only think about stopping. I learned to put my hands under my legs or under a pillow. Definitely not around his neck. It only bothered him because he thought I wasn't paying attention to the conversation if I was doing those things. I don't think it bothers him anymore (married 31 years). Oh, and I paid 2 of my kids to let me squeeze his black heads. 😂 Fortunately I can eat ANYTHING as long as it's good for me. Nutrition/natural health is one of my special interests.😁 But I like to eat one thing at a time, saving the best for last. Oh, and I have a bunch of food and chemical sensitivities. I don't like to swim because I CANNOT stand how it makes my hands feel! I love loud worship music! 🙌 I don't remember believing in Santa. My brother, who recently told me he thinks he's autistic also, told me the truth when we were very young. I couldn't imagine telling one lie after another to keep my children believing in Santa. NO WAY. We just didn't do it. I got my degree in psychology. As I've gotten older I've gotten more songs stuck in my head or writing songs in my head. When I get sick of the current song I just turn on some music and I'm fine. Can't imagine getting a song stuck in my head for months! 😲 And one more thing! I have a ton of discernment. I'm rarely surprised when someone gets a divorce and almost never surprised when one of my kids tells me they are struggling with something or tells me that friend was "such a bad influence" (duh. I knew the second I saw her even though there was nothing bad about her appearance). If something comes to mind I start praying cause it'll usually come out later. I have also had crazy prayers answered!
That makes so much more sense. And... I... fuck. I still do that. And now I'm not sure if my lizard brain is trying to get me to go to a "safe space" (a small, dimly lit, private ish area, with a locking door, where I wont be bothered for a least a little) by giving me the urge to go, or if its legit just overeactive bladder due to anxiety. But rough days at work result in a lot visits to the toilet.
Wow I remember being mortified because I couldn’t shake the feeling that my thoughts were audible to others. I knew it was irrational too, but couldn’t shake it! This is really fascinating.
Because we read body language and people get predictive yet they don't notice we saw their behavior/action/words coming ( so we assume others read us) ? And to us our "techniques" are so obvious we believe they must be seen through ?
As an American, your impression of American high schools is completely spot on. My god it's like a cult, I couldn't really even begin to be myself again until I was well into my 20s and had recovered at least somewhat from all the pressure.
Arryn W: Ain't that the truth. They'll pay lip service to the "being an individual" cliche yet beat you over the head with the weirdo stick if you really do act as you are. As an adult now I'm loving my weirdness and if anyone doesn't like it, tough.
As an American who has attended public and private schools, and attended private schools internationally, there is a lot of pressure in American public school to fit within a "norm" but it was actually the immense pressure that just made me give up on fitting in and instead embrace myself and things I liked. People still accepted me and I valued their friendships more. American private schools are a whole other story... they are too small and there is absolutely no room for anything your peers consider non-ideal.
City high schools sound so bizarre to me. Why are you all so horrible to one another in those? My small-town high school might have been Trumped up the wazoo, but at least my classmates were all genuinely nice to one another.
@@Butterfly1025A I went to a small town high school! It sucked extra because while this was years before Trump ever ran for president, it was still the kind of town where everyone voted for him. People were mean af to each other.
I did the hair sucking one all the time as a kid! And I still have the fidgeting, and standing or sitting in positions that may seem unusual, probably related more to ADHD (which I have been diagnosed with). Being characters is one way that someone could look at things. The tapping out songs is something that my entire immediate family does. I also used to play in my mom’s closet. She accepted it totally… wow.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Hello Sam, this video was almost frightening for me, an almost 70 yr old weird lady who has hid so many strange traits all my memorable life. Still hide many even from my husband even though after 50 years together I often see them in him. Our lives as boomer children were spent with punishment over our strange traits and habits and those “habits “ were often submerged thru punishment or disapproval. Anyway, this was an especially eye opening video. Thank You for your insight and sharing.
Hi Jean! I relate to your post so much even as a 26yr old, and I’m in the middle ground of very young millennial/the oldest of gen z. my parents (now late-50s) treated my symptoms the same way, they saw my traits as forms of disrespect or misbehavior, and punished me for them to the point of me just learning to hide them to avoid being in trouble. i’m sorry for what you went through growing up, though it may not mean much from me, and i hope you’re doing well today ❤
I was a painfully shy, introverted child with a vivid imagination. I used to twiddle and suck my hair, chew pencils and biros, pick and bite my nails. I spent lots of time going to the nurse with headaches or tummyaches. She used to give me sugar lumps with something minty on, possibly an anti-anxiety remedy. Also hated too much noise/shouting-I would cry if someone else got shouted at and just found playtime and the canteen to be overwhelming regarding the noise. I used to smuggle books out onto the playground and find an isolated corner to read in! Also painfully uncoordinated/unsporty so never wanted to play tag/skipping/clapping/ elastic games that were all the rage when I was young.
I was late for stuff a lot and was held in from recess for talking too much and being disruptive so I'd clean the desks and stuff. I'd really like it though because I got to organize things and have the classroom all to myself. And I could read any book I liked. It was lovely. Started just intentionally staying back more often and volunteering to clean stuff up.
I can’t believe I never thought of smuggling books onto the playground. I asked the teacher if I could read at recess and she was just like “no” so I didn’t 😂 I was too gullible
I cried whenever others got yelled at as well!! In the second grade I had a "tough love" type of teacher and a lot of disruptive kids in my class...I was so embarrassed everytime she would pull me aside n tell me she didn't know why I was crying when I wasn't the one in trouble. I didn't know either!!
I describe myself as weird alllll the time and it's never been derogatory... being weird has always been a gold star to me because I also associate it with above average intelligence, niche interests, and out of the box thinking.
Thank you for addressing the lying due to shame. So many people proudly wear "truth tellers" when in fact it not so, certainly not across the board. It's called individualism, no two are alike! I sure appreciate your share!
Living in a fantasy world is so accurate. It sounds like a bad thing, but it’s actually helped a lot of us make sense of our lives. My autistic cousin used to imagine her life as a video game. She loved playing with make believe weapons, and from there developed a lifelong interest in firearms and roleplay. I used to image mine as an episodic TV show, Community’s Abed style. Whenever something funny or interesting happened as a kid, I would literally turn to where I thought the “camera” was and wink: my parent probably thought I was crazy, but I was just thinking about where and when the next “episode” in my life should naturally end. I’d go on to study writing and film production in college, go figure.
I've always wondered about my version of this. I recall trying to do an imaginary tv show about myself as a kid, but I was unable to think of what to do with it, I never got past the intro. About the same time, I think I remember trying to have an imaginary friend, but I couldn't visualize or interact with him or her. Anyone else have an experience like that? I remember when taking the AQ "test" that one of the last questions had to do with difficulties with imaginative play, but I didn't really understand what they were getting at or how to answer.
Same same same, it helped me live happily when I was going through horrible trauma; I usually pretended I was a princess and my entourage of loving royally endowed councilors was trotting along behind me everywhere making sure I did what was necessary(drink water, not tap my pencil loud in class, focus, clean my messy room, bathe, eat veggies etc etc etc) nglllllllllll I be doing it to an extent still lmao buttt I’m happy with it so it is what it is lmao
I didn't realize till now that I would tell teachers I was sick so I could go to the nurse, because I was actually overwhelmed and needed a break. Never thought about it till now. I'm 54.
In school I'd put my hand up and ask to go to the toilet for a break. I work for myself now, from home, but I remember when I worked in other places I'd still do it often. Especially in a shop job which I loved, but lots of standing still when it was quiet!
I literally do the character thing to this day. I also have a habit to speak to myself so sometimes, I suddenly blurt out something "in character" and people look. It isn't just characters though, it is whole stories and worlds, like creating a story but playing a character in it.
I think this is what authors do before they realize they are writers... maybe :) I used to do this a lot and recently started trying to write films, it has been fun :)
All kids do this, it's why roleplaying text based became a thing. And before you say I'm downplaying autism. I am autistic. But make believe, roleplaying, talking to yourself is not just autistic people ffs.
You spoke in the “fidgeting” part about standing with your feet switched and it felt like your legs were giving each other a hug. I’ve read that when you reverse your feet like that it helps with left-brain/right-brain connection. I think it’s interesting that you naturally did that.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Folding the arms across my body also has the same effect. Secure-feeling and calming. It's also something called "crossing the midline" which has been shown to improve brain connectivity in children.
I was diagnosed with Autism at 29 and once my mom learned all about it she apologized to me with tears in her eyes for all the times I would call home from school as "sick" due to severe anxiety.
That's nice of her. I don't think my parents would even think back to anything they accused me of or did because of not understanding I was autistic, let alone apologize.
I wish I had your mother.....My mother still blames me for telling her I was suicidal as if I'm bad guy. Sorry mom, my 12 year old self thought you cared. Oh what's what you say? I misheard you? You said "We'll talk about it later" instead of "I don't want to talk about it?" Either way you still thought making dinner for company coming over was more important than suicidal 12 year old scared child followed by a long memory black out 20+ years later, that's still apparently my fault because "I remember it wrong". It's also apparently my sister's fault for telling me I was diagnosed with autism, because Mom decided not to tell me as a teenager. But she did tell everyone else in the family. Her keeping this pretty big massive secret isn't the problem, no it's my sister being the only sane one to tell me this secret, THAT's the problem. Mom now denies I was ever diagnosed....though that doesn't explain why the whole family knew about it except for me. She's even gone so far as to say "The psychiatrist you saw as a teenager didn't really tell me(Mom) anything, so maybe he just told you(me) that". So now I have no idea if I ever got diagnosed with then Asperger's or not, going to try and get an official test for it and get to the bottom of it. Recent psychiatrist thought I had it the first time we met, and this was over Zoom, I can only imagine how obvious it would be if we were in person but you know, COVID and all that crap. I genuinely wish I had a mother that when she learned she done goofed, she would own it. And I'm not even asking her to own up to every little nit picking mistake here. At least I don't think the above scenarios(and trust me, there are tons of these) is what one would define as nit picking. So yeah, I wish I had YOUR mother, or at least a mother that could own up to monumental fuck ups.
Dude, I wish my mom would apologize! She was incredibly insensitive to me my entire childhood and when I was diagnosed as an adult she never really mentioned it, just kind of accepted it without any discussion. A few years after my diagnosis I said “have you even read anything about aspergers??” She said she had. I don’t understand her not acknowledging what I went through or my current experience. Your mom is really great.
nice mom :0 mine wanted nothing to do with it when i got diagnosed at 22 and said "its better i raised you with all the exposure, cus now you 'seem' more normal as youve manually learned to act that way" rewind to the past, when my mother and grandmother told me i should move my arms when i walk because walking with them stiff at my sides 'wasnt normal' small corrections here and there, and i thought everyone had to learn how to be human manually and i was always frustrated at how everyone else had it so easy, i felt like a human being raised by wolves and beating myself up at the fact i couldn't run or howl, never really knowing i was a human until i was 22, and when you tell your wolf mother that you were actually a human the whole time, she tells you, well its better i raised you as a wolf anyway, because how else are you going to fit in?
Didn't realize that the "stomach" problems I had as a child was a form of anxiety. I'd even make up imaginary friends or pets. Didn't have friends and everyone thought I was crazy because they always thought I was "sick". 😩 I've never been tested so I don't know if I am.
In elementary, I always used to feel a pit in my stomach and my heart would beat fast but I never knew why. Not knowing why only made it worse. Now I know it was social anxiety.
Same here. I feel like the pandemic made me realize more that no one like me. And that I will always be alone. My son has alot of illness including autism. Its a challenge. But just watching him. Made me see my child hood and over all life. That people generally did not like me. I realized I lack alot of social common since. People try to like me. But kinda get over me really fast. I could never figure out why. I don't talk normal. I feel like I am from another planet lol its not there fault they don't like me. I have always been weird.
Chewing on my sleeves, lying out of shame, too afraid to eat in the cafeteria about weird food and crowds, going to the nurse with stomach aches, twirling my hair
Back in high school, i couldn't deal with the cafeteria at lunch, so I used to take my lunch to a back stairway that no one ever used and eat there. It was against the rules to be there, but I never got caught.
I have a tendency to mimic traits of whoever is on my mind, including their potential ticks like pencil chewing, leg bouncing, and hair twirling. But I also can't really draw animated faces in public as I do that too to almost "feel" how it should look, and honestly I thought it was just a weird artist thing.
I was diagnosed this year at 16 years old. This is comforting, thank you. I LOVE when someone finally talks about the correlation of autism and eating disorders. I’ve been in recovery from anorexia for a year and a half. People usually think of ARFID or PICA with autism but I found that anorexia is also incredibly common. Mostly because anorexia can manifest in a need for control. Autistic people have a lot of rules, including myself, so I fell into a dark pit of control and became anorexic. Id love to talk about it more if anyone is interested
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
"being embarrassed does not help you through it" ... and this ladies and gentlemen, is why I decided to visit a psychologist at age 28 because somehow, in the 14 years prior, nobody has helped me to properly understand my autism. Instead I believed, and was encourged, to be as neurotypical as possible. -sigh-
I feel that. It’s rough. No ones helped me with my autism. In my own mind and with research I’ve seen that I am almost certainly autistic. My friends never believe me about it. All they see is how I lied to them and hurt them when overwhelmed by my feelings of being ashamed trying to please them.
same here. My family knew. No one told me. It is my sister's fault though for telling me, not my parent's for keeping it a secret. Nah bad sister, informing your brother of what a trained man with a PHD in psychology diagnosed me with, bad sister. Good Mom and Dad for keeping that a secret. You're the good guys here. Yes I am being sarcastic.
@@shannonsmith924 It will sound like an awful, awful cliche but... you need better friends. Between my 16th and my 20th I changed 'best friend' about yearly. The cycle went: 1/ New person! 2/ Woo, someone wants to listen to me :DD 3/ their issues, ok, fine, I can deal 4/ why arent you doing anything about them? 5/ Oh lord fucking why. To break this toxic cycle of bad friendships, I first had to learn how to take better care of myself. I found out that good friends held me both accountable for my actions while also encouraging me to grow as a person. And if they were unwilling to help and/or accept as I am, I had to let go of them. Some probably still resent me for leaving them. Either in terms of blame or in terms of 'why has she left' and well. I had to. Because, if i am honest with you, I also lied to people in a way. I also kept a strong front and tried to be as neurotypical as possible. I also tried to please and fit in. The moment I started to establish boundaries, I received backlash from some while other applauded me and sang praises all the way to the high heavens. Some people surround themselves with pushovers and insecure people so they can feel strong. Other people only surround themselves with secure people because those relationships are equal, more stable and feel safe. This all starts with learning who you are, what your boundaries are and telling people 'no, I dont want to do this' or 'let me think about it'. Talking with a therapist obviously helps in this proces.
The thing that stands out to me most is the way I ate my food. It was always one item at a time. Start on one, finish it move onto the next, rinse and repeat until my plate was cleared. Mixed fruit was especially hard for me as I had to eat my grapes first, then the peaches, then the pears. One time while I was eating lunch in 2nd grade I found I had missed a grape after Moving onto the peaches, and proceeded to have a full on panic attack. Hands on either side of my tray staring hard at my food I was hyperventilating and couldn’t get my breath. The kid next to me tapped me and asked if I was alright, I turned to him, with what I’m sure now was a manic look and said yea I’m fine. I managed to eat that grape and move on with the rest of my life.
for most of my life I thought the normal way to eat was finish the food you started eating and then move on to the other. the day I found out that wasn't really the case was when I was eating rice and my uncle questions me on why I haven't touched the meat. from there I became more observant on how people eat and noticed that they tend to switch between foods. I always finish one food and I drink something before moving on to the next food.
I was apparently diagnosed with autism when I was around five years old but I only found out about it two years ago (age twenty) because my parents just didn't think it was something important to tell me and learn about. It has been such a strange and stressful but also kind of healing experience to think back on what I was like growing up and realizing that I was the way I was because I'm autistic.
A lot of my adults thought I might have autism when I was young, but never got my tested because I got along just fine, although I wasn't "normal." My mom told me that when I was in 7th grade and did a research paper on autism and thought I totally had it. In college ab psych, I learned even more about it and was like "I've grown out of a lot of my quirks, but here's 100 traits I've experienced." And now I've gone down a TH-cam rabbit hole and realize those traits have been replaced with other traits and that there are a lot of things I never thought of as evidence of autism but seem to be super common.
My dad told me a couple years ago at age 19 that my head was so big when I was born that it got injured on the way out. I was like “is that why I’m so weird??” Lately I’ve been doing research on autism and I’m like “oh shit… I think I might be autistic” lol
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on TH-cam and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons autism. speech and social skill has improved till now.
I suspect I'm also an undiagnosed high functioning autistic woman, from all the habits you described. As a child in primary school, I also told my fellow classmates that Santa never existed and refused to apologise to the teachers for telling them the truth or understood why they were upset by this and was regularly known as the 'problem child' in my school. Also, can relate to the lack of social/communication skills growing up, hiding in small dark places to get away from people and the living in my head, (I still do this regularly) plus the finger tapping and the need to walk up and down to calm myself when stressed. It all falls into place now and love my weird little quirks.
I never hid in closet, (except when I was very little, like 2 I'm told), but we had a lot of nature right outside and I spend a lot of time alone in the forest or near the sea, even in between classes at school, I would go out to places I knew few other people came, and hide if I heard anyone coming my way.
I always thought I liked being alone because I’ve been homeschooled my whole life and my brain didn’t want me to interact with others as a “safety precaution” or something lol
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
"Some people watch TV... Other people ARE the TV" is me in a nutshell😂 why would you need netflix if you have your head in which you don't have to worry about making the characters relatable because they automatically are? Daydreaming is underrated
Omg, I daydream so much too the point where I don't even think I have a real life. I live in my head too much. Its so fun too do, but so much of it can mess with ur head
@@solarpunch333 Same here, but it can be problematic if it can’t be controllable. Turns out it’s its own “malfunction” being researched called maladaptive daydreaming as an OCD. I can control it with an antidepressant with OCD treatment characteristics and although it makes me better functioning at work and home, I hate it every time I take it and tend to pull myself off it unless it interferes with my job or marriage. I never actually put it together until I was in my 30s that I was most likely on the spectrum somewhere, and had ADHD (non-hyperactive).
I literally always have a song stuck in my head if I stop to think about it. Recently I started a Spotify playlist where I add those songs and the variety is hilarious.
I am there with you on the lying thing. I would also lie to peers about seeing a certain movie or watching certain TV shows. I was watching “kids shows” and playing with dolls when all the other kids were doing more “mature” things. I lied out of embarrassment.
same!!! i hate "mature tv" and i much prefer childrens shows, i always have. i constantly lie about liking them though because i know they're incredibly childish and i didnt want to embarass myself.
😳 I never realized until my children hit their growing out of dolls and Barbie phase how early that came… was rather shocking. I played Barbie’s until I was in 10th grade to some extent. I kinda miss escaping there lol
@@snakeliker @MinaSoyMilk I think you should own it! There is no rule that states that once you "grow up" you should like "mature" content, and being genuine is an honourable trait to have ^^
We are in the process of getting my daughter diagnosed. When you mentioned standing with your legs having your right and left foot switched. 😮 I never saw anyone do that besides my daughter. For some reason it made me feel emotional and validated that it’s not in my head. I love her quirks and would never ask her to stop because it makes her feel cozy as she says
If you are referring to the “stance” as standing like a 🦩flamingo. Then I would be like your daughter. I also do this . 😁 I tend do it a ton when I have to do Dishes 🦩
As a child I used to build "caves" where I put blankets over a desk. I did this till I was 14. I am also a heavy daydreamer. I had some friends in kindergarten and primary school, but I was always the weird one. I lost a lot of them, when they changed to other schools than me. I can not handle my own workload, I'm chewing at my lower lip all the time and I'm picking my fingernails. I'm literally sitting in my bed right now, wrapped in three blankets and writing a story I always see in my head, before I go to sleep. I'm not diagnosed to be autistic, but after watching a lot of your videos I'm almost certain I am.
I am an old lady now. Last year I was diagnosed with being on the Autism Spectrum. It was 16 years ago I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Things finally made sense. This video helps, and reading the comments help because I did many of the same things. Thank You!
I am 81 years old only found out I haveADHD a few years ago .Looking for information about my nephew autism. The more I read the more I knew that I that I had ADHD .The doctors said I was to old to have it .I found a doctor who gave me a test and said I have all the symptoms So please if you just think you might have something do your homework and go for a test.Been in therapy for years until I was diagnosed.
@Rosemarie Diorio I can relate to that. I’m 61 and starting to pursue diagnosis for ADHD and may spring for autism as well. The DSM is frustrating because it’s really written for kids, and they’ve left out critical traits like emotional dysregulation. Some ADHD experts acknowledge this but other clinicians believe myths about ADHD, like if you weren’t diagnosed by old age you couldn’t have it. ADHD in older adults is almost completely unresearched.
@@rosemariediorio5431 Your doctor telling you you were to old to have ADHD is proof some doctors are clueless idiot's. Does he think people stop having ADHD at a certain age, lol. I'd be embarrassed if I was your doctor.
As an adult, I had to buy a new copy of Watership Down because I'd eaten about 25% of my original! Thanks for sharing - your videos are going to be a great help to me in explaining all my traits for my upcoming diagnosis session.
thank you for the lying part! i lied sooooo much as a kid and i felt really bad doing it. i'm still doing it. e.g when i'm really overwhelmed and i know i can't handle a situation, it's just easier to say i'm physically sick.. I still hate doing it. it feels like i'm not giving myself the chances i deserve. i guess around 15 i started a book, where i wrote down my everyday lies. they were so many, it really scared me. i didn't understand at this age, that they were all lies to cover up my differences and struggles. i just felt like a horrible person. today i try to force myself to tell the truth, but sometimes i just can't.
Same, Once I figured out that I'm autistic and I started getting a better grasp on what my limitations are, the "need" to lie greatly diminished. Though, like you, sometimes I just don't have the capacity to deal.
I’m.. not the only one then. It’s ruined my trust with my friends. They hate me for lying when I don’t even realize I lie to hide my shame in trying to please them when they put me on the spot for a curious question that’s inappropriate at the time to ask. I’m just curious! I mean come on. Every time they put me on the spot I feel horrible. Why would friends do this?
I’m new to the whole ASD thing and I’m trying to figure out how my whole life can be explained by being on the spectrum. One of my biggest issues is the masking; I’ve masked so heavily that I’m not sure where the real me is. I’m also wondering how heavily I masked due to Asperger’s and how heavily I masked to hide the fact that I was gay. In the late ‘70s, as I was entering puberty, being gay in a religious family was completely unacceptable. I learned to hide my true self early on, but I now think I was good at it because I had years of practice from masking my total lack of social skills and anxiety about being around people. I don’t even know how to describe it. There’s so much for me to unpack that I’ll probably die of old age before I unpack everything.
OMG I relate to those first couple of sentences so much. It’s difficult when you feel like you don’t even know who you are. I hate it. I also don’t remember my childhood much so I spend half my days looking for clues. I don’t think I’ve had a day since being diagnosed just over a year ago where I haven’t thought about all this (not to mention the months before that).
I'm a queer, polyamorous, pansexual agender AMAB person recently discovering ASD and an ADHD diagnosis and ALSO grew up in a strictly religious and conservative household. I'll tell you how bad it was: my parents asked me to stop contacting them when I took exception to their full-throated support of Donald Trump. They told me that if I hated him, Satan is the source of hatred and I needed to think about how I had chosen to live with hate in my heart etc. etc. blah blah. The irony would be risible were it not so tragic. They still periodically reach out to see if I've decided I've turned over a new, less hateful leaf. They've not yet figured out it is their own hatred separating them from their offspring. Oh well. Point is, I see you, I validate your hardships and concerns, and I encourage you, comrade. Continue to live and thrive as best you can and seek the resources you need to cope. And as a fellow David, I feel even more affinity with you :)
Hi David , I think you should be proud of yourself for willing to discover more . I feel exactly the same way you do , I don’t know who I really am due to all the masking . It can be hard , however i find it easier to think … Autism , all this masking or not masking stuff , it’s still “me” , just me figuring out what’s socially acceptable and what I can accept about myself . There is no true self behind all this , everything defines me , it’s all just building blocks of what makes me “me” . I don’t know if that made sense , but hope you will see this and not feel alone .
I'm 66 and find new suitcases to unpack everyday. I'm also gay. Totally grew up in a very restricted abusive environment. I've been a Buddhist for almost 50 years. Having this practice of meditation has helped me process who I am. It's like a quest. One I'll be on all my days. Best wishes to you. Be patient with unpacking the gift that you truly are.🤗💝
I still hide in bathrooms 🙃 in college I found a rare single locking ladies room on the uppermost floor hidden amongst empty offices and one rarely-used conference room. At my last job I used a lav in a closed nursing unit. Most recently I had to attend a wedding alone which was so 10/10 on my social anxiety scale that I probably went to the bathroom 40 times lol before I finally could leave
I don’t hide in bathrooms but I tend to hide in my walk in closet. It’s smaller, very cozy, and dark. Mind you..I am 45 and still tucking myself into small spaces all of the time.
The more videos I watch from you the more and more I relate. (Diagnosed with Aspergers when I was small and ADHD in my teens. I’m 24 now) The imaginary world thing is spot on and I still do it to this day but not as much now as I met more and more people now. Listening to music is one of the biggest triggers for it to kick in. I’d lock myself in my room for hours rocking in my bed or pacing back and forth thinking, laughing and talking to myself for hours. It’s super embarrassing when people catch me doing it. Turning them into creative writing was a huge outlet for my overactive imagination. (my ear worms are like an infestation at this point 😂) I also do the tapping thing too with my fingers, pacing like a maniac or fiddling with my feet are also somethings I do as well. The paper thing I did sometimes but for me it was more stickers and tape. I’d peel off stickers and tape and chew on it and taste all the different adhesives. A kid caught me pulling a sticker off my school desk and was mortified by me doing this. I stopped that from embarrassment 😅 But it shifted to biting and picking my nails and cuticles and I still do that to adulthood when I’m feeling really stressed. One of my stims is water, I’d be in the bathroom for a really long time staring at the faucet and just letting the water run off my hands, I did this too in the shower and it would annoy my parents because of how much they’d complain about the water bill. I don’t play with water as much now but water is still really comforting. (I’d also spend all day in swimming pools) My biggest hyper fixation is animals and I still love animals to this day. As a child I’d pretend to be a big cat cuz that’s what I was obsessed with at the time 😅 Walking on all fours, making the sounds of a tiger but this was only in private. The hyper fixation then went to snakes and lizards (I didn’t act like them though so I grew out of that) I now have my own reptiles and I’m glad because their scales are a good Stim for me especially snakes and the feeling of them slithering. They’re quiet and not loud and jumpy like dogs. (I do love dogs but I prefer animals that aren’t so energetic) Now I’m getting really big into fish cuz my job currently is working with aquariums. So far absolutely loving it and it’s all I’m talking about now is fish 😂 I’ve got my own tanks set up now and everything. Best of both worlds scales and Water and watching them is so fascinating 🥰 I didn’t hide in closets but I loved finding corners to sit in at school especially private reading but during recess and stuff I’d be away from the other kids usually under the slide playing in the sand by myself. Hiding in bathroom stalls is something I still do to this day when I’m feeling overwhelmed. But being in a quiet room alone is my happy place. People always knew what spots I claimed cuz I’d squirrel my things away in in those spots. If my things weren’t there I’d have a freak 😅 I wasn’t the kind of person to go around telling everyone Santa wasn’t real I always just kept things to myself but I am wicked blunt without meaning to be sometimes it just slips out and makes everything really awkward. But something I did a lot was mimicking the “norms” so I’d fit in and the lying to cover up my quirks when I’m in public or around my family. Some of my family members forget sometimes that I’m on the Autism scale because of how much I mimic what I see in public and what’s socially acceptable. The lying to hide my shame in my weirdness hit home for me personally. 😅 I did a lot of weird things and I have cringe attacks to this day of memories that would slip in my head in my daily life and I fester on them just wondering why I did these things. I always knew it was part of my neurodiversity but it’s still embarrassing to think about 😂
You can get necklaces on eBay which are a small capsule. I cut the tip of a cotton bud and add a couple of drops of an essential oil I like or perfume. When I smell something horrid (like the inside of a mask during Covid) I undo the capsule and sniff it or even dab it somewhere close. My favourite is peppermint but you can pick anything. For mask wearing it’s been awesome!
@@pinkmagicali I have one it has an assortment of felt discs for a locket that holds essential oils. A friend got it from earthbound. But I am not much of a jewelry wearer.
I always counted my steps and if walking on a footpath I HAD to step on the lines with alternating feet and if it didn't line up I did a wierd little skip so that it would align to feel safe.. soo strange.. honestly so glad I found your channel someone pointed out to me that my monotone or extremely pitchy tone of voice is a sign of ASD about 6 months ago and only now doing the research.. literally blows my mind to watch your videos and realise they were right
I've always done that same thing except I had to step over the lines, because the whole "step on a crack break your mamas back" did something to my brain even though I knew it wasn't true. I also counted in multiples of 6 while I did that.
@@xaryn.bluebearyn Same! Except I always count in 8. Though the counting goes for everything--like drinking or brushing my teeth. Also I split seven into two (sev-ven) but still call it eight.
@@BlizzardSiya16 oh yeah the counting is in almost every little thing I do. I flick my fingers as a stim while counting to 6, I swallow food and drink too different parts of my mouth in 6, just little things that seem unnecessary. It doesn't make sense but somehow it does 🤷🏼
When I first started following ASD communities, people would say something and I would go, "I DID THAT!" (There's a group on Facebook I quit finally because even though they're all very lovely people, I'm autistic and people annoy me. Specifically, there were sometimes people who _asked my advice and then didn't take it._ I'm sure you understand.)
TH-cam has been bombing me with autism-related recommendations lately despite me never searching for it. I'm not autistic- or at least I don't think I am- but some of these are relatable for me too! Glad youtube is helping spread awareness
Same I think I did all of these at some point in childhood. Including hiding in the toilet. I still have a small place in my home that I intend on hiding in when the world is coming to an end or an impending tsunami... lol
My daughter walked on her tip toes... She's 27 and still does it when she's barefoot at home. My MIL used to say she was practicing to wear high heels. We didn't know she had Asperger's.
I did it too. But I was enrolled in a really intense ballet school (which I loved). The kind where you have classes 3-4 days a week. Everyone just thought I was practicing dance. I was a decent dancer, coincidence? I think not.
@@missymarie708 both bipolar and borderline are fairly common amongst misdiagnosed autistic females and if you specifically mean borderline there's quite a bit out there that seems to suggest it may be related to adhd and autism (also possibly giftedness) instead of being a personality disorder which would means borderlines would technically be borderlines whether they developed bpd or not
I related to many of these childhood traits! As a 90s kid, I remember “rocking” my feet as well as locking my legs. Even in college, I would often take off my shoes and wander the halls barefoot or sit on the floor during class. It was common to find me under a table/desk working on a project instead of sitting “proper” at the desk. I found all kinds of hidey holes to cozy up into! I often got bored waiting around for someone to notice I was missing tho.. 😉
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
I was diagnosed ADHD n starting to wonder if I’m both i wish I could rename off all the things that I relate to in this video… it’s just similar things with my own twists! Crazy. Makes me wonder
@@serraangel177 Although medically correct I’m not sure comorbid is quite the best word these days-I’m the UK we use co-occurring/concomitant/associated or secondary condition particularly when describing mental health and ADD/ADHD/OCD/Autism spectrum. Don’t know why but I guess the ‘morbid’ part makes it sound a bit dark and dismal 🤣!
I'm not sure if I'm autistic, but I did every one of those things. My favorite thing to do was tell stories in my head. I usually had three or four going and if I was bored I'd jump into one of my stories. My parents joke that I didn't live on this planet with them until I was a teenager because I was in my head so often
oh my god i do that too and it's the most annoying thing in the world for me. it's like i either do that or i talk in real life to other people and lots of people hate when i do that so it's either i torture myself or i torture other people and honestly it's hard to pick. having a song stuck in my head usually helps though because if words are in my head, then i don't need to make up my own words.
Having gone on an extensive and focused research mode on all things autism during last year, I'm very confident that I'm an undiagnosed adult autistic person, and I relate to so much on all your videos. They have really made me feel validated and seen and given me new perspective in observing myself. Thank you! As a child I used to hide in small spaces like cupboards, cardboard boxes, under the table and the like, and squeeze into tight spaces. Somehow having the space encompass me felt comforting and safe. I still feel a strong pull towards any tiny spaces I see and like to build "nests" in corners or couches or under the table. I have pretended to be characters as long as I can remember, and I still do it. I would go on my daily stuff seemingly normal on the outside, but on the inside I'd be a character doing different stuff. I used to suck on my hair too, nowadays I just suck on my lower lip. I used to and still do tap out songs stuck in my head (and I do get A LOT of songs stuck in my head). I used to lie about feeling physically ill in school to get out of situations that made me anxious. I also hate standing still, I think as a child it was easier for me but nowadays I need to at least pace or I'll get really agitated. I did believe in santa until I was about 12 years old. I found out by accident that santa isn't real and I was so furious at my parents for having lied to me. :D
Lol! I believed in Santa until I was 11 too, and I was angry that my parents lied to me too. I am pretty sure I am not Autistic though, because whilst I can relate socially, I can read body languague, and I do not stim.
@@daisychain473 Can you read body language like it's making obvious connections you respond directly to? Or have you gotten so practiced at decoding the patterns and symbols into meaningful expressions that it's been a while since it's crossed your mind that everyone else seems to be using a native language and you're always translating... Mentioning it because I was quite good at people (which is definitely not the most NT way to think about these skills) by the time I got to adulthood. Only very recently did I stumble onto the crack in how I was working out what the (in)appropriate things to do were and revisit how badly I'd struggled to be social until I'd explicitly reasoned out good enough approximations and maybe just very effective masking. I used to tell little stories about people like "over there, I think those two are on a date, and looking at him leaning in and her leaning back and looking around like that... he thinks it's going very well and she's not interested at all". And sure, I'm recognizing the body language, but it's based on explicitly reasoning it out and not recognition. Just to be clear I don't have a diagnosis, but I'm starting to think it makes more sense than other explanations (and gives some fairly useful predictions about what circumstances are most likely to trip me up in practice.)
@@mxpants4884 Sorry! I did read all of it, and thank you for replying to me. I did not used to be very good with eye contact, and I would walk with my head to the floor. I never trained myself on body langauge though. I think I just knew.
I was so confused when you said the part about "hiding in toilets." I had spoken to my son today about the time he got stuck in the bowl of the toilet and I realized that the toilet beans the restroom/bathroom in the UK. Then my brain caught up and I realized I hide in my room and/or car often.
I didn't hide in toilets/bathrooms at primary school or high school as I had an aversion for going into them for some reason. But now.looking back I definitely did it at home, and still do it in work or social settings when I feel overwhelmed
I definitely used bathroom stalls to retreat to when upset or lonely at school. It was the only place. Sit there and cry, try to calm down and wait for my face to get normal again.....ended up crying more. I'm a teacher now and still find it soothing to just take a quiet break in a bathroom stall away from ALL THE PEOPLE!
In elementary school we would sometimes receive a fortune cookie with our lunch. I convinced a group of classmates that in order for your fortune to come true, you had to tear the paper into as many pieces as there were words in the fortune, then eat those pieces one by one. In all reality this was an elaborate cover story to explain why I was eating the paper fortune from my cookie 😂
When I relate to content like this I dont know if Im on the spectrum or if there is no such thing as 'normal' and that everyone could relate to some elements
Same, I’m questioning as well but I relate to a number of these traits, albeit with some variations. Special mention goes to the finger tapping one, which I would tap my fingers to the rhythm… playing in my head. It’s something that I often do since my childhood.
I still tap things, but it's because I feel bad things will happen if I don't. I used to eat foam cushion filling but when the Dr. Put me on iron tablets that went away. I'm 54 and my son is 27 and he still walks on tiptoes from time to time, which is another sign of Autism, I think there's a bit of it in all of us.
@@julie-annhall2078 ya I agree there’s some symptoms of it in everyone. Not to deny autistic experiences, but I do think it is that everyone has some similisr experiences sometimes. But I do think it’s important to be careful with saying that, since it can come off as rude. Personally I know people saying “we’re all a little ADHD/OCD” is upsetting. Even if some people occasionally have tendencies, it’s nowhere like actually having it.
Yes, everyone can relate to PARTS of autism. But how many of those markers do they have? Everyone has smells, sounds, textures, and places they dont like, everyone has things they like done a certain way...everyone has social blunders here and there, and everyone has quirks... but how does your brain work? Are you extremely literal, black/white thinking, inability to read body language or project it correctly, difficulty discerning sarcasm, executive function problems, emotional shut downs, involuntary physical movements (this is actually a good example....having a hand movement or involuntary moving doesnt mean Parkinson's or being a little bit Parkinson's) major sensory difficulties which overpower and drown out the things around you, difficulty reading social cues, hyper fixation on a topic, repetitive sound/dialogue loops, inability to connect to peer groups or making friends easily, situational mutism, or any other of the countless markers of autism....? Simply having a left hand doesn't make someone left handed.
I want you to know, dear, that I'm 53 years old, and you just pretty much described my entire childhood. I also would stand on one foot with the other foot placed inside my standing thigh. I hid in closets, attics, basements, old barns, etc. Spent more time with bugs and other nature than people. This makes me wonder... Thank you!
Quijybo Janklebits sorry, but you don't belong here. You're too young. 😁 I'm 59 and was 56 when my daughter told me she was on the spectrum. I set out to prove her wrong and after reading all the symptoms and traits, said, "What the heck!! I'm autistic!". Now I'm convinced I have "Fragile-X Syndrome"
@@flxmkr lmao your telling a person with a psychology masters and a 145 IQ that he's too young to be in a conversation at 36 years old. Please reread your comment before you comment again. According to you my 35 years of an undiagnosed status have no merit in a conversation about how one stands, doesn't that sound idiotic?
Tbh this is so nice to watch. I have no idea if i'm even autistic or not, but that doesnt matter since i have ALWAYS been a weird person 😂 i can relate somewhat to that "creating characters" thing, i dont know if they were imaginary friends or what, but like, yea, i did create some random characters i guess and that was actually embarrassing for me, dont know why. Other kids also thought i'm weird, maybe for that reason or some other reason, dunno. Often i kinda hated playing with other kids, because they did everything in a wrong way, i wanted to do things my way. I was alone quite a lot. I remember being anxious very often, it seems like i had a lot of anxiety since i was at least 6 so pretty young. I also never knew what i should do and how i should live.. not knowing how to live and do things has been my biggest issue since 6-8 years old, maybe even younger. That's why i cried a lot. I was really lost and didn't know how to move forward. It's weird how life can already be so difficult when you're so young. And when other people say that "as a kid you didn't have to worry about anything" i'm like okay.... I did nothing more, i only worried about stuff and felt so anxious when i was a child lol. It felt like the end of the world, in a way i kinda felt that i was already dead as a child, that this is the end of my life because i can't fucking move past this :D but.. i guess you gotta deal with what you've been given. But it's nice that i'm not the only weird person. Maybe i'm autistic, maybe not, but i'm definitely weird and i guess now i can be proud of it too.
I have a huge issue with the Father Christmas thing. I trusted my parents totally; when I realised they had actually lied to me, it was devastating! Don't lie to your children, they rely on you.
It totally depends on how you present it. I officially found out at the age of 10 from my grandmother who simply said, "you know he doesn't exist right?" Uh yeah, yeah of course. *me who was starting to suspect but didn't actually know* I mean that's not the nicest way to put it. Oh do I know that the magical being that you've been telling me since I was little was real is not actually real? Um no because none of you have ever said that until now. That's not the way to go about it. Or you can do it like we did with my son. Kept the magic alive because he really wanted to believe and celebrate that since he was little like all his friends, then when he started to ask around 10, I explained that the Santa we incorporate now was based on a real person in the olden days and we keep the magic of giving going to make it fun for our children and that he probably will do it for his own someday for the same reasons. He actually thanked me for telling him and was happy with that answer. So doesn't have to necessarily be this big bad lie. It's about perspective and how you explain it to the kids. Had my family explained it that way to me, I'm sure it wouldn't have been so crushing at the time. Of course parents don't have to incorporate him at all. But if they do, there are definitely ways of handling better.
We've always told our children that it's a tradition of dressing up to celebrate the tale of St Nicholas, and that the message was to make sure that children have what they need for the winter season.
@@Daisy-dp2ez You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's just another way of dealing with the hard times, similr to reading a book or watching TV. It's just a book in your head 🥰
So I have a tendency to dig into depressive episodes where I can't get myself to take my meds, work, but I've managed to get myself to at least feed myself and walk the dog. On these days I try to work myself out of it by watching videos like yours. I cried a lot on this one. Late diagnosis makes me think back on childhood a lot. This is so relatable.
It’s hard walking my dog some days too but I look at him and I tell him he’s a good boy and I take him out. It’s not him it’s the fact that I don’t want to go outside sometimes
I did this too for a long time. Recently some of my other conditions have gotten worse, so there are days when I physically can't walk him, but he gave me that little shred of motivation to get up on days when my mind felt like a physical weight.
If your meds are the type that need to build up in your system before they really start working, then not taking your meds might be reinforcing this cycle, sadly. My advice would be to put your meds where you have to interact with the bottle(s) in order to do something else that you do have the energy for. For example, set them on top of the dog’s food container - something you’re not likely to end up avoiding due to associated anxiety about how you don’t feel the energy to take the meds. The idea is that, if you have to interact with the med bottles anyways, it’s not too much more effort to open them and take the meds.
This is where I am today. Wasted my day trying to get out of my head and into my body. Depressed and unable to exercise- which usually gets me to just below a sort of baseline. This is torture and All I want to do is figure a way out
Wow! So many of these are me. Lying about feeling sick or unwell was a big ones (American schools didn't allow them to give us anything in the nurses office so I actually often got to go home usually) or saying I'm not hungry or saying I had eaten earlier to avoid offending people hit home. I make up stories with characters in my head to this day too. A lot of these hit home.
I used to roll myself up in the living room rug when I was feeling sad. I also used to eat my ice cream in such a way that my grandmother lovingly told me “good luck finding a husband that won’t think that’s weird.”
I used to lick my plate clean after eating ice cream and my Nonna told me that it would rain on my wedding day! I've been married twice now and it didn't rain either time! Lol I did the rug thing, too.
This made me remember all the times I forced my mam to roll me up really tightly in my duvet, and how I used to viciously stir my ice cream till it was half melted
@@sometimessnarky1642 I really hope you're not minimizing the traits and struggles of autism in your comment. That's not what my initial comment was about.
I was a paper eater too and was regularly called to the front of the class and shamed for it. I was made to feel like I was the only one in the world with this "disgusting" habit. Hair sucking too was a phase I went through. The teacher told me that if you suck your hair it can be swallowed and it will wind its way around your heart and kill you (seriously, teachers shouldn't lie to kids) but anyway it cured me.
they told me that hair you suck on will become worms that will eat you from the inside whenever I felt stomach discomfort I figured I had accidentally gotten hair worms and I needed to dispose of my forbidden candy wrapper stash under my bed to hide the evidence because I didn't want to disappoint my parents after they eventually had to clean my room after I was... *gone* reason #234 I cried in closets at random times as a kid
I got told the worm thing about chewing my fingernails. I keep mine meticulously cared for now, because if they look weird or chip I will chew them and get back into the habit because I like the feeling.
Teeth clicking... i'm 21 yrs old and ever since childhood I've clicked my teeth together to the rhythm of whatever song was stuck in my head. And I have songs stuck in my head basically all the time, so yeah, lots of chomping. And the more anxious I am, the more strictly i "have to" click on every single word of the song as it plays in my head.
My mam said to me once ' it's good to be a bit weird in life, it makes you more interesting' and she's right, what is weird anyway, as long as you're a nice person and treat people the way you would want to be treated yourself, you can't go wrong😁
Hahaha me too. The amount of times I've started cleaning my teeth in the bathroom, doing a few laps of the front room and kitchen, arrive back at the bathroom with the door now shut and someone occupying it hahaha.
@@lewisgreenhalgh7546 omg, I am sure my husband thinks I'm nuts. I may end up outside, or trying to find someplace to spit while running through the house.
Could you do a video on emotional attachment and friendship? Did you find you failed to bond emotionally to peers, become overly attached to people, or become obsessive in relationships?
100% did this. When I had friends in school they were EVERYTHING to me, which means I endured a lot of meanness and abuse for the sake of keeping my "friends" around. Like I would give people my possessions in exchange for them being nice to me for awhile. It sucked.
Many of your behaviors are ones that I did. I ate paper. I went to the nurse for anxiety. Others that you didn't mention. I like to read the phone book and encyclopedias. I spied on adults to tr to understand how they worked. I did not interact with other kids for a whole summer, because I didn't realize that I was expected to do so, and my parents didn't encourage me to go out and play with other kids. I am 67 and now just self-diagnosing.
I memorized zip codes in my state. When I would meet a new person and I found out where they lived I’d blurt out their zip code. No wonder people thought I was strange lol. I also had a set of animal encyclopedias that I would read constantly, all 20 books.
I loved this video! My daughter is 22 and was diagnosed at 15. I KNEW something was special about her at a young age, but when OCD starting taking over her life, Asperger’s ended up being her diagnosis. A few of the “strange” things she did was walk on the balls of her feet (which she stills does), she’s very very VERY picky eater, would only drink milk, she would pretend to be a dog…all day long…walking on her hands and knees…panting AND barking, would be interested in something or like a certain food for a month or two and then never touch it again, did not like playing with others…she preferred to be by herself. She was never selfish and would share if there were other children, but she would grab a book and just sit in the corner. She still lives at home and we are trying to get her comfortable with social norms, but she still thinks about just herself or how something affects HER…not others. She also has to have everything done right away. Like if she needs batteries and doesn’t know where they are, she will hound me or bitch until I get them. She is absolutely brilliant and is an amazing digital artist…drawing dogs. (The kid loves dogs!). I know a lot of these traits seem like a spoiled brat, and some probably are because we always did what we could to make her happy and comfortable. But seeing as how she’s getting ready to graduate from college, she has to learn social norms and how to read a room. Thank you for sharing your story!
wow, my 13 yro kid is exactally what u describe....but replace dog with cat, and yea, wow! he walks on his tip toes, and barely goes to school at the min, tough times.
@@lauriemyers3 well im new hear learning i dont know much about this i have a cousin who has a son with it heard my aunt tell my mom once not long ago see she has it too my life was a train wreck then. So of course it wasnt about me i dismissed it but now 56 im trying to find out why i made the choices i made in my life. A drifter a loner. The library the role playing the lying the anxiety fumble my words. Hide in small spaces. Hypertensive im all this an. Ad as adult oh im not mean with intent i want yo be heard and understood i think now looking back may be some of those behaviors i did for attention to get a reaction. From mom dad anyone that i thought i could amuse but on the dark side which i really never have spoke about to very few and just so were clear never did i play the victim card when i tell you the emotional. Neglect from my parents a long with a some one molesting me at 6 on the schooll yard i felt always like the outsider 🙄i became an ashamed to say it now was a dancer for many years and im not talking ballet here dont ask me why but what im taking from all of this maybe im like this too thanks for listening ill be watching lord hope i didnt say yo much
This sounds exactly like me except for the animal part, but I always have to be wearing both socks and shoes or I’ll walk on my tiptoes to avoid the cold gross floor
Holy ish, the part about lying out of shame struck such a cord with me. I very much remember a time when I was young and we went to a field trip to the theater in gothenburg to watch an abstract dance, and the music was unbearably loud that had a lot of sudden, sharp trumpets. Instead of telling the teacher that it hurt, because I thought I would be rude, I sat through the entire thing and burts into tears and had a meltdown instead when one of the dancers walked up to me to ask if I enjoyed it :')
Hand flapping & skin picking are the most difficult ones to deal with, they never really stopped. Anxiety & sensoric overload led to run & hide. Humming can't always be avoided in public, it's so soothing.
I feel this. I’ve been picking at skin on my lips since forever really. I can’t think of a time I wasn’t picking at them. My grandma has been yelling at me for it for years now. Almost 19 now lol. Hand flapping isn’t quite as common for me. Only if I really feel like I need to move
Im amazed people remember their childhood. I remember the stories i was told about it, but i dont remember what i was like. Watching this, I do remember building horses out of bluetack and taking them around with me in my pocket. I remember being sent home sick a LOT. I remember they always used to tell me i looked pale and never questioned it.
I had specific routines like having to say "excuse me" 100 times if I burped, or feeling like I needed to spin around 3 times and wash my hands before the toilet stopped filling up. One time I lied about feeling sick to get out of the overwhelming social situation only for the nurse to tell me I had a high fever, that was strange. I was always picked on all the time for being too quiet, which was really strange to me because I thought the the proper behavior of the classroom was to be quiet and listen to the teacher.
Omg this reminds me of when I used to say "are you sure?" And then I'd have to ask "are you sure sure?" I think it was mostly an ocd thing for me but yeah.
Oh yeah and I also used to have to say "cough you" when people coughed because I felt like since you say "bless you" when people sneeze you have to say something when they cough aswell xD
Omg reading this just made me remember how I used to forcefully swallow air so that I could kind of burp through my nose and then I would say excuse me every time. I did this anytime I felt anxious or uncomfortable.
When I was a young girl, I liked to twirl around so that the skirt of my dress would rise up like a tutu. But I had to count my twirls and then turn in the other direction just as many times.
I still struggle with naming feelings and not saying that "i feel sick" instead :| it's so hard sometimes I am not even sure if I can name what I feel at all
I still to this day “shred “ twiddle and smooth my hair . I also bite the ends to feel the delicate crunch . The only thing I don’t do anymore that I used to do as a kid was suck the ends of my heir . In cosmetology school my friends would scold me for constantly pulling / shredding my “nervous hair “ . That’s what they called it . I never stopped . I sit funny too . I eat sitting with one leg up and I know it’s not acceptable in public but it doesn’t feel right to sit “normal “ I feel very fidgety if I have to act normal in public .
![ร้อยพ่อพันแม่ - WanMai [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XY2pNYASEbg/mqdefault.jpg)
Charles Schultz the creator of Peanuts, sent a drawing in reply to a fan letter from a little boy. The boy's mother wrote back and said "He liked your drawing so much he ate it." and Schultz said that was the best compliment he could ever have received. Lol.
If only eating pages from a Yellow Pages directory like that mascot yielded the same results!
I thought that was Maurice Sendak
@@mia_monster2915 yeah came here to say that, it was definitely the writer of “where the wild things are”
@@thecoldglassofwatershow That’s what I had heard too lol
Well it makes sense to have a desire to be a part of something that you love ,and eating it is one way to make it a part of you after all you are what you eat right.
I used to pretend I had imaginary friends because I thought every kid did and that I was weird for not having any.
me too :( i drew up a fake imaginary friend i was sad i didn't have one
Same here! Instead of having imaginary friends, I would always create stories and characters. One of my closest friends and I (who is also suspected to be on the spectrum) would make these “clans” of birds that we created, which we uncreatively named “peacocks”. At first, they were our enemies, and we could always “smell” rotten eggs when they got near. Eventually, we started to tame the imaginary birds. We did all of this over the course of years.
Same
I did that too. I always found making friends very difficult
I’m not autistic, just very ADHD, but I couldn’t make imaginary friends either (or when I did I would only have them for a split second and create another one that wouldn’t last long at all either)
So I actually just stared at picture books and imagined the characters moving. I’d grab the lowest reading level books because those were the prettiest and had more pictures that I could use for my own interpretation (kinda like playing dolls without any dolls) and characters and I’d imagine the town and the people on the pages moving, I’d make my own stories. I kinda miss being able to play pretend.
Did anyone else walk on the sides of their feet as a child?
Yes
I still do sometimes. Often I stand on the sides of my feet now or I guess roll my ankles. I haven't been diagnosed but I have some strong suspicions
Yes, my sisters pointed it out to me in a rather rude way. I use supports in my shoes to help me not to cuz its not great for my feet
I did up until a few years ago when started getting ankle pain. Still have the urge too just too painful
I did that up until age 33
I cried watching this. Regardless of if I'm autistic or not, I cried watching this because as a currently 14 y/o kid with mental health issues I've never been able to put my experiences into words, so I get overwhelmed and emotional when other people can do it for me.
*hugs* I pray you are able to find balance when circumstances are challenging.
@@thissupernova6491 thank you!
I cried reading this. I have a 14 yo daughter that I am going through a journey of mental health issues with. I feel lost most days and I just don't know how to fix this. I hope you both find peace in your journey.
@Tracey Rodgers mama's are not always "fixers", sometimes we're the best silent supporters. In order for a person to go far, they must go together, with another. If she goes alone, she'll just go fast. I pray for you guys emotional balance on this journey and may the two of you find yourselves and each other, together ❤️.
@Tracey Rodgers I wish you luck. A few things I think are important from experience with my own parents:
Remind you love them occasionally, don't encourage them, but let them cry as much as they need (it's also potentially a sign for opening up), start a calm but serious conversation making it clear you know somethings wrong (and that you're prepared to help), encourage leaving their room and the house but don't be mad if they dont, notice for signs of them neglecting self care and health (like skipping showers, being up very late, not cleaning their room etc) this is a bit dark but notice for potential signs of self harm or suicidle tendencies (these won't always be there, but sometimes they are. Also, hitting yourself also sadly counts)
I hope this helps. Sorry if I write in a confusing way! And this might be different for them cus every child is different. The fact that you care is already a wonderful step that, sadly, not all parents take.
Edit: AND OFCORSE if you can afford it, then a therapist. It's so important long term but I understand if it isn't possible!
And I used to push on my eyes to see lots of different colours when I got overwhelmed!! I thought everybody did it
I would stare at a light or a window without blinking and then close my eyes and watch the colors.
Thiiiiis!
Ohhhh yes! I had forgotten this.
I did that too
@@Catlily5 yes!!
One time I was punished in school, locked up alone in a meeting room. Was so disappointed when the punishment was over. Teachers didn’t know being alone in a bright, quiet, big room was a treat, not a punishment. They didn’t need to lock the door, I’d gladly stay there all day.
lmao i liked being groiunded cause it meant id be left alone
When I would get sent in the hall for punishment. 😂 it was my favorite! Best school days were sitting in the hall.
My school used to send me to the library as punishment. I loved it so much I learned how to play up and get myself sent out.
My mother always said she couldn’t punish me by sending me to my room, because I was very happy all by myself. She could tell me to turn off the radio (no TV in my room then) and I was fine with my imagination. Turn off the light at night? Perfectly fine, good thing she didn’t believe in corporal punishment, lol.
I had a fixation that still lingers a bit, that I was being watched, first, by my father, who had recently died, then, by angels, then, by God himself. I imagined that the poster of Ricky Nelson on my wall was a portal, allowing him to see me all the way from Hollywood. I wound up dressing, peeing, and bathing in the dark. Still do, although I know perfectly well nobody’s watching me.
I liked to read alot because I could actually see the book in a film in my head...
Broooo sameeeeeee
Wait that’s not a normal thing!?!?!?!?
Again, whaaaa? Isn't that a regular thing? Just asked my partner and apparently not. Mind blown!
I thought that was so normal
MEEEE TOOOOOO
Hypermobility is super common in AuDHD females. The majority have it. As soon as you said you hated standing and crossing your legs or standing on tiptoes would make you feel better, I instantly suspected hypermobility and possibly POTS/low blood pressure. And then unsurprisingly you went on to say you find it hard to get comfortable when sitting normally, also a classic symptom.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Woahh that's a really interesting link. I highly suspect I have ADHD and I deal with creaky leg joints, with hyperextended arms! I was curious if I might have EDS but I don't think I have enough hypermobile traits.
is fainting common? i have fainted quite a few times in my life.
@@Cindy99765 hypermobility is a spectrum - a lot like ASD/ADHD. My ND friend has hypermobile fingers, arms and flat feet but otherwise isn’t particularly flexible. I’m not particularly flexible but my joints click a lot and I have posture, neck and upper back problems, I have slight dysautonomia and ADD.
@@AlexisTwoLastNames yes, very common especially if you tend to feel dizzy or get palpitations upon standing up quickly or standing for too long. My ND friend is in a choir and he fainted from standing for too long, he has hypermobile arms, fingers and low blood pressure.
Omg the lying about feeling sick at school just because of anxiety. Yep. That’s my childhood.
It’s my parenthood times 2 of my 3 kids. Even in online school from home during Covid. 😂👌🙄
I never lied that much because every morning I'd get so anxious I'd have stomach pain and throw up from coughing (because of the high heart rate). Would happen the night before as well :(
My greatest memory of high school is the 6 weeks of junior year I got to stay home because I had mono🤣 I felt fine but was "contagious." Wow a month in bed, what a sacrifice haha
@@grdt56546trgrdytr same, half the time i did actually have massive stomach issues or migraines so bad i had to puke...
@@pyruvicac.id_ yeah and it was so bad they'd take me to the docs a lot, but of course once my body realised I deffo wasn't going to school it would go away so the docs thought I was faking :| why they didn't make the connection to some severe anxiety I have no idea..
I can’t comprehend people who are perfectly okay with standing still for prolonged periods of time
Even as an adult, I can't stand up for very long. If I'm having a conversation with someone, I prefer to sit down. After I've been standing awile, I'll start to rock back and forth and bounce on my tiptoes
Me either but it hurts my joints.
The heels of my feet become sore :(
That's why I decided not to join the military.
@@bloodmanor8 lmaoo
My peers discovered I was hiding in the bathrooms at lunch so my teachers then gave me permission to spend lunch alone in the classroom while all the other kids were in the cafeteria. It was a blessing I so appreciated and needed.
I wish I had such an understanding school. I hid in the bathrooms all through high school
Our music director used to let his students eat lunch in the music room. And he gave me permanent passes to the music room for any free period I had. I did practice my music there. And he tutored me. But I think he knew that his music kids needed to hide. He let the forensics kids hide there with us, too.
Some teachers are so understanding. They don't get paid enough for what they do
@@tenadefiant Agreed. He was the best part about the whole school.
Im on the autistic spectrum. Hiding in bathrooms isnt by anxiety for me but i just like doing it. My grandma calls me a bathroom dweller for it.
The fantasy world is so relatable! I did this up to age 18, when I brought it up to my therapist. At first I thought it was some type of maladaptive daydreaming. Turns out it’s some kind of obsessive disassociation tool that I’d use to help ‘escape’ from my everyday troubles. It slowly faded after I got into a serious relationship and in turn spent my time thinking about the relationship instead of the fantasy!
From what I understand that’s what maladaptive daydreaming is. Cause I do it too. Well I used to do it severely but now I have more control
Is this the same thing as limerence?
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
No f’ing way this is real, I’ve had a persona take my place from age 8 till probably age 19. Thanks for the info.
I totally relate to this fantasy world when I was a kid and also with the thinking about the relationship thing you brought up. The imagination about the relationship was so horrible, I would think everyday the person would stop liking me and decide to break up and this would go on through the whole relationship until the profecy would me completed and the person would finally break things up.
Hair chewer, paper eater, foot tapper, finger tapper, finger chewer, loner, lived in an imaginary world, would rather be anywhere than where I was.
I didn't chew my hair, but everything else was spot on. Gulp. 😲
That can also spill over into post traumatic stress disorder... Don't self diagnose...get it checked out.
Yep
I spent my whole life hiding the fact I'd eat paper as a child. Never knew why
Same! Pica is also connected to not enough iron in diet
@@lisaabbwtt6118 I suspect at least both, for me
Me: I have ADHD, not Autism, so I probably won’t relate to most of these.
The very first one: Eating paper
Me: Oh shit
i ate paper in kindergarten LMAO
I ate my own hair when I was a kid O_O
Same here. I’m starting to wonder how much overlap there is with autism and ADHD, because I related to the majority of these
@@LivingEncyclopedia I KNOW RIIGGHT!!! That always seems to be the problem with me, too. I can relate so much with ASD traits over watching her videos, but all I know is, "Ehh, but that's coming from my ADHD/giftedness?"
It has been months and my question is still the same: Does ADHD and ASD have *_this_*_ much_ overlaps or do I actually have both????
Me: remembering eating entire manila envelopes.....
Me: still very familiar with the taste of my own hair
Me: "ah."
Lying about what's really going on inside. That is my life. Inventing a fake illness on the spot is so much easier and less exhausting than trying to explain AND JUSTIFY my mood for the moment.
Saying, "I have a headache," is so much easier than saying:
"I have been building a scenario in my head, inspired from something that happened a year ago, which has upset me and I although I am happy with the person in reality, the person in the section of the scenario that I have invented has really upset me. I am also frustrated because this hasn't really happened but I want to respond to it as if it were real. I am also upset because this is MY head but I can't stop my head from inventing more of the scenario and it's taking up space!!!"
I really resonate with your words. I've been working to a place of believing my feelings are more valid than any excuse I could make. I also think it signifies better trust in the person I'm communicating with.
I learnt as a kid that 'I feel sick' was acceptable by adults but 'I feel weird' was weird/not normal. Unlearning lying about how I feel has/is a hard journey
same thing here
I reckon what you described , you are perfectly ok with just saying -I have a headache. It doesn't sound like a lie at all. Describing ones real thoughts and mentality to other people never actually seems to be a good thing. That is my experience.
Ahh you put it into words! Also my mum (very dear to me but isn’t very helpful toward mental health) is very physically focused- what event caused this headache/ sadness/ exhaustion, etc. I never know how to put into words that I feel emotionally/ socially exhausted rather than just I had a late night
"being physically sick is more acceptable than what's going on in my head..." god that hit home big time. My childhood was RIDDLED with self imposed shame.
Same. Adults around me piled more shame on, but I made a lot of it myself.
As my 13 year-old Aspie son would say, “Nobody’s normal, everybody’s weird”.
If everyone is weird then weird is normal
@@beebale1356 True, but normal implies uniformity, whereas if everyone is weird then they can be weird in entirely different ways. 😁
I agree. Everyone is weird. I love being weird and eccentric ♥️♥️♥️
He's right! I had to try to explain to my daughter the other day why I prefer to eat alone. I get so much indigestion if I eat and people are talking to me. I struggle when eating out with others in restaurants, especially if it's noisy. Mostly I only eat a few spoonfuls...Yep, I'm a weirdo!
Your son is very smart. 😊
My parents called me "nature girl" because I would talk to the trees outside of my house and gave them all names. They were like my second family. The smallest tree was female and called Betsy 😂🌲💖
This is adorable! :) It reminds me a bit of Anne (Anne with an E)
I was called bug girl 🥰
My mom called me that too!!
For me it was cars.
I used to name them on my way to school. Usually people tended to park in the same space everyday so I saw a lot of them on a daily bases.
They were my friends and when I saw two cars of the same brand and color in different locations, I "connected" them in my mind so that they could speak to each other. 🚙🚗🛻😹
Wow maybe you're Indigo Child? 😊
I still invent characters and tell myself stories. Especially as I live alone.
I’m glad I’m not the only one
I suspect that this is fairly normal.
i thought i was crazy, i've noticed it happens with boredom or stress...i have so much to do now it seldom happens...but i still talk out loud to someone i need to discuss something with...but they're not there...i'm working out my talking points and argument plan😂😂it's a verbal journey. i have practiced how i would explain things to a counselor and realized it would take several sessions, so then would work to pare it diwn🤦♀️
My imagination is to active, so whenever I do that (which is quite often) at this point I have an extremely detailed universe with multiple different time lines so whenever I start a completely new story (which is approximately every 6 months) the steps go as followed
1 choose what planet they were born on, what kind of alien (or earth creature) they are.
2 have them go on some short adventures where I almost completely control what they do (this is to help design there personality more thoroughly)
3 designed EVERY possible time line following there entire lives! Cus yu know you wouldn’t want to settle with one version of there lives when there could be a better version waiting for them in a different timeline, right?
This is how I put myself to sleep--making up stories with me as the main character. I've done it as long as I can remember.
The rhythmic finger tapping is so real! I play the trumpet and if there is any song stuck in my head or playing out loud I cannot stop myself from mimicking the trumpet fingerings for them, and I’ve been doing it for years
I haven’t been a “band kid” since dropping out right before grade 11 (my favorite instructor left, and the passion wasn’t fueled by the many turnover teachers). To this DAY, I continue to stim to fingering different parts, transposing scores in my head between instruments, and whistling the various parts of different marching band tunes I covered. I love collaging the Bari Sax, Alto Sax, Flute, and Piccolo parts of “Stars and Stripes Forever” into a chaotic amalgamation of dynamic, neurodivergent bliss. Thank you for sharing, your comment brought a big smile to my heart ❤❤
once we learned typing in school, i would type out my thoughts on an imaginary keyboard in my lap a lot. like a diary that didnt exist. I stopped doing it when a teacher was yelling at the whole class for something i didnt have any part in, and she asked me what i was doing, and i said typing, she basically mocked me in front of the whole class. gotta love american public school huh
I started doing this when I learned to type at 15, and still do it now, at the age of 41. Before I learned to type, I used my pointer finger to write things out in cursive...typing made this stim a lot more efficient. 😆
Sorry your teacher mocked you for it, though.
This this this!!! So my mom and I both type things in the air with our fingers on invisible keyboards. Neither of us knew till recently were autistic and neither of us knew the other person also did the typing thing.
Oh my God, you unlocked another one for me!!! How the hell did I forget about this?!
I do this myself
I love typing, I’m surprised I never did this. I would imagine all the words in the air tho cuz I watched an episode of criminal minds (which I was obsessed with) where this guy imagined all the words people said and based on what color the letters were was how he knew who to trust.
Maladaptive daydreaming...huge habit into my adult life, even after I had children. Had what seems like a near death experience and it all went away, almost overnight. Strange.
I used to do it constantly as a child but not after i finished high school
How did your maladaptive daydreaming go away overnight??? What!? I feel like I would have near death experience too! I'm just so accustomed to it. It's a huge part of my life. I can't imagine it without it.
Mine went away after a real wild trip
@@savanimay I was in a huge depression and suicidal and I just made a decision that life had no meaning, because it felt like I was always someone else/ somewhere else. But after I made the decision that it was meaningless and over I felt like I had a visitation, I had like a vision of a lady in a purple dress and I felt like a steady stream of unconditional love. And then for the next six weeks I kept having what felt like a digital download, that I am responsible for everything in my life, that I am experiencing the consequence of every choice I ever made. I kept hearing the phrase "you have been so mean to her". I couldn't figure out who the you was in relation to the her or who was speaking. The maladaptive daydreaming was a way to avoid responsibility for my life or the cruel judgment I had passed on myself. Once I realized I'm responsible for everything, every choice I make, I stopped daydreaming. I still kind of daydream but I am the center of the daydream now, where before it was like characters in a play watching a television show. But I focus now on goals and visualizing what my future could be.
I believe in the Freudian psychology of the three parts of your brain, the ID is like survival it's like a computer where our bodies are just programmed to survive and procreate, and then there's the ego and I think that's like an inner child that's who we think we are. And then there's a super ego and the superego can be very defensive of the inner child or very critical, mine was very mean and critical I had very horrible self-talk there was abusing the inner child. At least that's the most sense I can make of the whole experience.
It's like your brain got a reality check, I also have mdd, I hate it
I vividly remember a teacher very seriously calling me a liar because of how many times I said I was sick to go home early. Now I know I was not really ill but overwhelmed and just needed a quiet space to retreat and feel safe, but her telling me that I was "the boy that cried wolf" shook me to my core. I felt like she hated me and that she thought I should be punished for my need to escape, so I began to deliberately lie to my mom about being sick to not even go to school in the first place. Then when that didn't work, I would find ways to hide in school or leave early without telling any adults where I was going. I was seven at the time.
I used to hide in school whenever I could. I also used to wait until everyone else had gone into class before turning up slightly late ,just to avoid being in the queue!
I learned already in day care how to get out of situation. When we was outside, after a while I said I had to pee, no one is going to tell a 4-5 year old to hold it, so I get to go inside to pee, and I just never got out again, but enjoyed being alone inside. Though eventually the adults figured out they had to keep track of time when I said I had to go, as they realized I tended to take my sweet time getting back out.
After a melt down on a school trip (foreign country, different food, new meds, routines disturbed, then a teacher going back on what they'd said and that was just the last "straw") I was told that I use anger to try and control people... Very confusing as I hadn't been trying to control anyone and hadn't meant to be angry or upset... I spent years trying to figure out how to control my anger better, thinking I must be a dreadful person for innately using anger this way.
Over a decade later, and multiple therapists, mindfulness finally helped a little, as it helps me to pick up the body cues that I'm getting frustrated or overwhelmed before the emotions burst out or I have a meltdown... And the diagnosis helped me make sense of it and realise I wasn't a bad person who was using anger to try and control people. Teachers can say such unhelpful things, about things they plain don't understand, without realising the damage it does.
Then there are the occasional fantastic teachers who go out of their way to help you learn useful coping strategies, because even without any suspicion of a diagnosis they can see you need some extra support.
It actually made me quite upset that Sam said "I lied about being ill or unwell when I was anxious or overwhelmed"... Well, I guess I just interpreted that she'd say "I'm not feeling well", and that bothered me because she was really feeling unwell and anxiety is a very real illness, so it's not a lie!!! But now I'm guessing perhaps she'd say she had a fever, or a stomach ache or something, and yeah, that would be a lie, a sadly very necessary lie because, indeed, too many people think some illnesses are more real than others.
I’m sorry my heart heard every word. My 3 rd grade son is getting it hard from his teacher. He day dreams and can’t hear task so she tells him she said it go sit down. Now he is hesitant
Your honesty and vulnerability is not only refreshing, it is quite lovely. And you are truly able to help people because of this. Thank you
“I used to hide in the toilet”
My literal brain: “How in the heck did she fit in the bowl?!”
AHAHAAH I THOUGHT THE SAME THING
@Vanessa D “toilets” are what we call the whole room here in britain. when we’re out places we say things like “do you know if this place has any toilets?”
Same! lol
Maybe because she said "small places - like cupboards" to lead to it? So the brain went straight to small objects? Mine did.
We say the same thing in Australia. For example, my dog has his bedroom "in the toilet"....no, he doesn't sleep in the bowl, we call the room the toilet....
I found a bush in the school yard that I called my magic tree. and while other kids were out playing with one another I would go and hang out with the magic tree. sometimes I would buy sparkly things from the student store and hide them in the bush and then later reach into the bush and act surprised when I had found a gift that it had provided to me. hence the magic tree.
I didn't really understand how to make friends with people and why they would talk about the things they would talk about.
That sounds like a lovely way to spend time.
My best friend was an oak tree. It had a lumpy base that I used to polish until it gleamed like polished tortoiseshell.
These comments actually brought back a memory of the bush I used to hide in during recess. Glad to know others made friends with foliage too!
.. ok, who's gonna start the support group for ppl who had trees as best friends when they were kids ?
Oh my goodness! I've spent almost 4 decades thinking I was the only one.
I was a weird child, and chose to spend most of my time in my head. I did a lot of things you've mentioned, and more obsessive, false realities that I kept to myself. I've always talked to myself as well, especially to process my thoughts/feelings. I still do that, though alone. I suppose I felt shame so I tried hide so much of the things I did. I was far happier in my own world than dealing with reality.
I suspect you COULD deal just preferred to have your own thoughts! Me too!😉
I still have these fantasies in my head actually. And thanks to role playing, I have put my thoughts out onto paper (or should I say, phone screen)
And watch my characters interact with others. Although I still go back into my mind just creating alternate realities y, know?
@@NullCantHandleFreddie I absolutely know. I've never stopped being an obsessive person 😅 That's awesome that you are watching them play out & interact. ❤️ I sometimes think how lucky am I that I can easily find people with brains like me, when I could have been born just twenty years earlier, been none the wiser, just believe I'm an alien or whatever someone incorrectly diagnosed me with.
Im the same, really relate with what you said
I used to read a lot of books, and one of my favorite past time when I was not reading, was to insert myself into the story in one role or the other, (not taking over a role, but a reason I was there and how I would deal with everything going on in the books).
My son is a psychology major. He came home one day and presented me with several tests, including a masking test. I scored low on the typical test, but really high to the others, especially the masking test. Took an aspergers test and got 138 out of 200.
As for ear worms... OMG, I once got The Christmas Song stuck in my head until July one year. I have to avoid Lilly Allen songs because they really really get stuck and drive me insane.
I lived in a fantasy world too but as for religious beliefs I am very, very spiritual but I have had far too many miracles and paranormal experiences to not believe. I also still believe in Santa but not as everyone else does.
I would lie about being sick too. I had a very difficult time in school and I never wanted to be there because I was so very uncomfortable there.
I've never had texture issues with food, but I have bad reactions to having dry skin and touching things with that dry skin. I use a lot of lotion.
Noise is big for me. Heavy bass or too much treble or the balance messed up at all and it will give me a melt down. Looking at things I think are ugly, like clothes with ugly colors and patterns will make me feel sick.
Another thing is, I am a picker. I will pop all your zits. I will dig into your hair or ears. I used to pour sand in the crew cuts of my male friends heads so that I could pick out the sand. I was the weird girl running around the neighborhood always singing and spinning in my own magical world. Adults, older kids, and peers thought I was weird but I had a whole following of little kids who easily slid into my imagination with me.
It's so scary how I'm just like you.
ADHD diagnosed 30 years ago, Autistic seeds of suspicion planted 5 years ago - thriving little wildflowers in this brain now 😊
Cheers for reminding me I had a Lily Allen song stuck in my head for 2 months and it had finally escaped some time last week - it's ok tho, I am here for all of the sass in her lyrics 😝
Not necessarily paranormal but freakishly helpful intuition when I'm not clouded by environmental factors or anxiety to listen to it.
I also experience recurring dreams and lucid dreaming, parts of which link to my intuition and warn me of some dangers.
I very vividly remember lying to a teacher who was humiliating me in 5th grade (I was 10-11) about whether or not I'd taken my medication at lunch. I told her I had so she would leave me alone - she seemed to pick on me a lot (something else I just remembered but will wait a sec⭐). She then quietly sent someone to ask the principal to check (rude that she couldn't have quietly asked me if I had, but had to yell it across the room in front of everyone - and I was at a new school, trying to make friends, omg - yet found it quite easy and ok to keep her evil plan to make my Sh!t List on the DL) and when they returned, she put me in detention for lying. That stung.
⭐ She tried to humilate me at my first Craft Club. I'd never worked with Copper Art before and she laughed at the picture I'd chosen and told me it was for an advanced level and I wouldn't be able to do it... by the 3rd or 4th Craft Club I presented her with a perfectly debossed Lion King scene 😏 and I won a prize for Clubs for it at the end of the year. HA! *smug af* 😁
I have texture and taste issues with food. I eat everything separately/individually. But I can manage burgers with multiple food items (if they're the same or similar texture - anti soft with crunch or crunch with something pastey like mashed chickpeas). Also, connected to the contradicting myself, I can't do chunky fruit/punch type drinks but can't drink orange juice without the pulp lol
I'm not ok with spices/curries or chilies - nothing too overstimulating.
My dad puts a heaped teaspoon of red curry paste in everything he cooks and has ruined many foods for me.
I get reactions too - I have psoriasis and allergic contact dermatitis. With the ACD I react to some detergents and most acrylates (I was a Nail Tech). With the psoriasis, cold or windy weather are not my friends.
I can fall asleep next to a speaker playing heavy metal, but I can't function if I can hear eg. a distant and irregular beeping sound, or irregular hammering that I'm not in control of. Power to all the tradies who can work in pace with a metronome 😆
My face has zero tact around unpleasant things that distract and disturb me. I turn away for that reason.
I am also a picker 💜💜 and we are few and far between 😭 I have a friend who is the only picker I trust to pick me but she lives in a different state now, so I have essentially trained myself to be a contortionist 😂😂
Sorry this relating/info-dump was so long 😅 I always tryyy to keep it short 😬 LOL never works!
😅 missed a thing... Santa... I believed in the magic and really miss that. And yet now, I can't deal with the not-knowing-what-a-gift-is.
Santa was ruined for me as a kid, by my sister who made me hide under lounge chairs with her to watch our parents wrap presents... it still blew my mind how they were able to get all our "Santa" gifts to our aunty's house in the city tho... they couldn't hide them in the car!! ✨😮✨ lol 💯 magic!!
@@iamgiatho I love reading all these traits and I can relate to so many.
I'm also a big picker. Somehow my husband missed that when we were dating. He insisted I stop picking and finger tapping and nail flicking while we were having a serious discussion but that didn't last long cause I told him I can only think about stopping. I learned to put my hands under my legs or under a pillow. Definitely not around his neck. It only bothered him because he thought I wasn't paying attention to the conversation if I was doing those things. I don't think it bothers him anymore (married 31 years). Oh, and I paid 2 of my kids to let me squeeze his black heads. 😂
Fortunately I can eat ANYTHING as long as it's good for me. Nutrition/natural health is one of my special interests.😁 But I like to eat one thing at a time, saving the best for last. Oh, and I have a bunch of food and chemical sensitivities.
I don't like to swim because I CANNOT stand how it makes my hands feel!
I love loud worship music! 🙌
I don't remember believing in Santa. My brother, who recently told me he thinks he's autistic also, told me the truth when we were very young. I couldn't imagine telling one lie after another to keep my children believing in Santa. NO WAY. We just didn't do it.
I got my degree in psychology.
As I've gotten older I've gotten more songs stuck in my head or writing songs in my head. When I get sick of the current song I just turn on some music and I'm fine. Can't imagine getting a song stuck in my head for months! 😲
And one more thing! I have a ton of discernment. I'm rarely surprised when someone gets a divorce and almost never surprised when one of my kids tells me they are struggling with something or tells me that friend was "such a bad influence" (duh. I knew the second I saw her even though there was nothing bad about her appearance). If something comes to mind I start praying cause it'll usually come out later. I have also had crazy prayers answered!
I ALSO believe in Santa!!! You and I are a lot alike.
When you said “hiding in toilets” I immediately thought you hid in the actual toilet, not the bathroom lol
Yeah me too, I was like "wtf" for quite a while. Even funnier considering I also used to hang out in toilets.
Same. I pictured you inside the toilet bowl.
I think that's what the British call generic restroom facilities
That makes so much more sense.
And... I... fuck. I still do that.
And now I'm not sure if my lizard brain is trying to get me to go to a "safe space" (a small, dimly lit, private ish area, with a locking door, where I wont be bothered for a least a little) by giving me the urge to go, or if its legit just overeactive bladder due to anxiety.
But rough days at work result in a lot visits to the toilet.
I had to translate that too
Wow I remember being mortified because I couldn’t shake the feeling that my thoughts were audible to others. I knew it was irrational too, but couldn’t shake it! This is really fascinating.
Because we read body language and people get predictive yet they don't notice we saw their behavior/action/words coming ( so we assume others read us) ? And to us our "techniques" are so obvious we believe they must be seen through ?
That's the same for me still, I have times when I can't think of what I want to, so people don't hear it
Omg me too!
I really thought/think everyone else is as telepathic as me.
They're not!
I didn't explain myself because I thought someone could just hear my thoughts and know . .. strange .
i have this 😳
As an American, your impression of American high schools is completely spot on. My god it's like a cult, I couldn't really even begin to be myself again until I was well into my 20s and had recovered at least somewhat from all the pressure.
Arryn W: Ain't that the truth. They'll pay lip service to the "being an individual" cliche yet beat you over the head with the weirdo stick if you really do act as you are. As an adult now I'm loving my weirdness and if anyone doesn't like it, tough.
As an american who attended public school, I second this!
As an American who has attended public and private schools, and attended private schools internationally, there is a lot of pressure in American public school to fit within a "norm" but it was actually the immense pressure that just made me give up on fitting in and instead embrace myself and things I liked. People still accepted me and I valued their friendships more.
American private schools are a whole other story... they are too small and there is absolutely no room for anything your peers consider non-ideal.
City high schools sound so bizarre to me. Why are you all so horrible to one another in those? My small-town high school might have been Trumped up the wazoo, but at least my classmates were all genuinely nice to one another.
@@Butterfly1025A I went to a small town high school! It sucked extra because while this was years before Trump ever ran for president, it was still the kind of town where everyone voted for him. People were mean af to each other.
I did the hair sucking one all the time as a kid! And I still have the fidgeting, and standing or sitting in positions that may seem unusual, probably related more to ADHD (which I have been diagnosed with). Being characters is one way that someone could look at things. The tapping out songs is something that my entire immediate family does. I also used to play in my mom’s closet. She accepted it totally… wow.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Hello Sam, this video was almost frightening for me, an almost 70 yr old weird lady who has hid so many strange traits all my memorable life. Still hide many even from my husband even though after 50 years together I often see them in him. Our lives as boomer children were spent with punishment over our strange traits and habits and those “habits “ were often submerged thru punishment or disapproval. Anyway, this was an especially eye opening video. Thank You for your insight and sharing.
Hello 👋how are you doing?
❤
Hi Jean! I relate to your post so much even as a 26yr old, and I’m in the middle ground of very young millennial/the oldest of gen z. my parents (now late-50s) treated my symptoms the same way, they saw my traits as forms of disrespect or misbehavior, and punished me for them to the point of me just learning to hide them to avoid being in trouble.
i’m sorry for what you went through growing up, though it may not mean much from me, and i hope you’re doing well today ❤
Thank you for sharing x
Hi, Jean. 66 and same. Wish we were neighbors so we could talk about it once in awhile over cookies or something.
I was a painfully shy, introverted child with a vivid imagination. I used to twiddle and suck my hair, chew pencils and biros, pick and bite my nails. I spent lots of time going to the nurse with headaches or tummyaches. She used to give me sugar lumps with something minty on, possibly an anti-anxiety remedy. Also hated too much noise/shouting-I would cry if someone else got shouted at and just found playtime and the canteen to be overwhelming regarding the noise. I used to smuggle books out onto the playground and find an isolated corner to read in! Also painfully uncoordinated/unsporty so never wanted to play tag/skipping/clapping/ elastic games that were all the rage when I was young.
I was exactly the same!
I was late for stuff a lot and was held in from recess for talking too much and being disruptive so I'd clean the desks and stuff. I'd really like it though because I got to organize things and have the classroom all to myself. And I could read any book I liked. It was lovely. Started just intentionally staying back more often and volunteering to clean stuff up.
Damn all of this I did
I can’t believe I never thought of smuggling books onto the playground. I asked the teacher if I could read at recess and she was just like “no” so I didn’t 😂 I was too gullible
I cried whenever others got yelled at as well!! In the second grade I had a "tough love" type of teacher and a lot of disruptive kids in my class...I was so embarrassed everytime she would pull me aside n tell me she didn't know why I was crying when I wasn't the one in trouble. I didn't know either!!
I describe myself as weird alllll the time and it's never been derogatory... being weird has always been a gold star to me because I also associate it with above average intelligence, niche interests, and out of the box thinking.
Same
Me too!!! Being weird has always been a compliment once I realized I was myself and people can take it or leave it. I’m frickin interesting lol
💕
Me too!
Plus, I imagine everyone feels that way really?
Thank you for addressing the lying due to shame. So many people proudly wear "truth tellers" when in fact it not so, certainly not across the board. It's called individualism, no two are alike! I sure appreciate your share!
Living in a fantasy world is so accurate. It sounds like a bad thing, but it’s actually helped a lot of us make sense of our lives. My autistic cousin used to imagine her life as a video game. She loved playing with make believe weapons, and from there developed a lifelong interest in firearms and roleplay. I used to image mine as an episodic TV show, Community’s Abed style. Whenever something funny or interesting happened as a kid, I would literally turn to where I thought the “camera” was and wink: my parent probably thought I was crazy, but I was just thinking about where and when the next “episode” in my life should naturally end. I’d go on to study writing and film production in college, go figure.
I've always wondered about my version of this. I recall trying to do an imaginary tv show about myself as a kid, but I was unable to think of what to do with it, I never got past the intro. About the same time, I think I remember trying to have an imaginary friend, but I couldn't visualize or interact with him or her. Anyone else have an experience like that? I remember when taking the AQ "test" that one of the last questions had to do with difficulties with imaginative play, but I didn't really understand what they were getting at or how to answer.
That is so cute!!!
Same same same, it helped me live happily when I was going through horrible trauma; I usually pretended I was a princess and my entourage of loving royally endowed councilors was trotting along behind me everywhere making sure I did what was necessary(drink water, not tap my pencil loud in class, focus, clean my messy room, bathe, eat veggies etc etc etc) nglllllllllll I be doing it to an extent still lmao buttt I’m happy with it so it is what it is lmao
Imagining I’m my favorite video game character is the only way I can get myself through hard days at work😅
I use video game mechanics to help me make sense of ways to improve myself and how to go about it.
I didn't realize till now that I would tell teachers I was sick so I could go to the nurse, because I was actually overwhelmed and needed a break. Never thought about it till now. I'm 54.
They didn't have autism, adhd, none of that, back then was 'yer lazy, lets see if bouncing you off the wall helps'
Having the awareness at any age is still good! No shame. 🤗
In school I'd put my hand up and ask to go to the toilet for a break. I work for myself now, from home, but I remember when I worked in other places I'd still do it often. Especially in a shop job which I loved, but lots of standing still when it was quiet!
I literally do the character thing to this day. I also have a habit to speak to myself so sometimes, I suddenly blurt out something "in character" and people look. It isn't just characters though, it is whole stories and worlds, like creating a story but playing a character in it.
OH MY GOSH ME TOO!
ill play all the parts as myself, but different characters. Very thought out storylines, characters, etc. im not alone hah!
I thought I was the only one 😭
🙌🙌 here here!!
I think this is what authors do before they realize they are writers... maybe :) I used to do this a lot and recently started trying to write films, it has been fun :)
All kids do this, it's why roleplaying text based became a thing. And before you say I'm downplaying autism. I am autistic. But make believe, roleplaying, talking to yourself is not just autistic people ffs.
You spoke in the “fidgeting” part about standing with your feet switched and it felt like your legs were giving each other a hug. I’ve read that when you reverse your feet like that it helps with left-brain/right-brain connection. I think it’s interesting that you naturally did that.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Folding the arms across my body also has the same effect. Secure-feeling and calming. It's also something called "crossing the midline" which has been shown to improve brain connectivity in children.
I was diagnosed with Autism at 29 and once my mom learned all about it she apologized to me with tears in her eyes for all the times I would call home from school as "sick" due to severe anxiety.
Your mother sounds sweet. My mother thinks it's just an excuse
That's nice of her. I don't think my parents would even think back to anything they accused me of or did because of not understanding I was autistic, let alone apologize.
I wish I had your mother.....My mother still blames me for telling her I was suicidal as if I'm bad guy. Sorry mom, my 12 year old self thought you cared. Oh what's what you say? I misheard you? You said "We'll talk about it later" instead of "I don't want to talk about it?" Either way you still thought making dinner for company coming over was more important than suicidal 12 year old scared child followed by a long memory black out
20+ years later, that's still apparently my fault because "I remember it wrong".
It's also apparently my sister's fault for telling me I was diagnosed with autism, because Mom decided not to tell me as a teenager. But she did tell everyone else in the family. Her keeping this pretty big massive secret isn't the problem, no it's my sister being the only sane one to tell me this secret, THAT's the problem. Mom now denies I was ever diagnosed....though that doesn't explain why the whole family knew about it except for me. She's even gone so far as to say "The psychiatrist you saw as a teenager didn't really tell me(Mom) anything, so maybe he just told you(me) that". So now I have no idea if I ever got diagnosed with then Asperger's or not, going to try and get an official test for it and get to the bottom of it. Recent psychiatrist thought I had it the first time we met, and this was over Zoom, I can only imagine how obvious it would be if we were in person but you know, COVID and all that crap.
I genuinely wish I had a mother that when she learned she done goofed, she would own it. And I'm not even asking her to own up to every little nit picking mistake here. At least I don't think the above scenarios(and trust me, there are tons of these) is what one would define as nit picking.
So yeah, I wish I had YOUR mother, or at least a mother that could own up to monumental fuck ups.
Dude, I wish my mom would apologize! She was incredibly insensitive to me my entire childhood and when I was diagnosed as an adult she never really mentioned it, just kind of accepted it without any discussion. A few years after my diagnosis I said “have you even read anything about aspergers??” She said she had. I don’t understand her not acknowledging what I went through or my current experience. Your mom is really great.
nice mom :0
mine wanted nothing to do with it when i got diagnosed at 22 and said "its better i raised you with all the exposure, cus now you 'seem' more normal as youve manually learned to act that way"
rewind to the past, when my mother and grandmother told me i should move my arms when i walk because walking with them stiff at my sides 'wasnt normal' small corrections here and there, and i thought everyone had to learn how to be human manually and i was always frustrated at how everyone else had it so easy, i felt like a human being raised by wolves and beating myself up at the fact i couldn't run or howl, never really knowing i was a human until i was 22, and when you tell your wolf mother that you were actually a human the whole time, she tells you, well its better i raised you as a wolf anyway, because how else are you going to fit in?
Didn't realize that the "stomach" problems I had as a child was a form of anxiety. I'd even make up imaginary friends or pets. Didn't have friends and everyone thought I was crazy because they always thought I was "sick". 😩 I've never been tested so I don't know if I am.
i have stomach issues from food and anxiety and the anxiety is such a different feeling to the one from food.
I’ve been there my hair actually went grey for a time when i was a child through anxiety
In elementary, I always used to feel a pit in my stomach and my heart would beat fast but I never knew why. Not knowing why only made it worse. Now I know it was social anxiety.
Same here. I feel like the pandemic made me realize more that no one like me. And that I will always be alone. My son has alot of illness including autism. Its a challenge. But just watching him. Made me see my child hood and over all life. That people generally did not like me. I realized I lack alot of social common since. People try to like me. But kinda get over me really fast. I could never figure out why. I don't talk normal. I feel like I am from another planet lol its not there fault they don't like me. I have always been weird.
Apparently digestive issues are really common for people on the spectrum. I was reading Aspergirls and she mentions it there and I was like 😲
Chewing on my sleeves, lying out of shame, too afraid to eat in the cafeteria about weird food and crowds, going to the nurse with stomach aches, twirling my hair
Back in high school, i couldn't deal with the cafeteria at lunch, so I used to take my lunch to a back stairway that no one ever used and eat there. It was against the rules to be there, but I never got caught.
I have a tendency to mimic traits of whoever is on my mind, including their potential ticks like pencil chewing, leg bouncing, and hair twirling. But I also can't really draw animated faces in public as I do that too to almost "feel" how it should look, and honestly I thought it was just a weird artist thing.
Yesss 🙌🏽
Oooh I didn't chew on them but picked on my sleeve cuffs so much. I have destroyed coats just because of how much I picked on the cuffs!
Meeee
I was diagnosed this year at 16 years old. This is comforting, thank you.
I LOVE when someone finally talks about the correlation of autism and eating disorders. I’ve been in recovery from anorexia for a year and a half. People usually think of ARFID or PICA with autism but I found that anorexia is also incredibly common. Mostly because anorexia can manifest in a need for control. Autistic people have a lot of rules, including myself, so I fell into a dark pit of control and became anorexic. Id love to talk about it more if anyone is interested
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
please speak on it more! i often feel so powerful when i forgo eating. i don’t want to feel this way and at least i do eat at least once a day.
"being embarrassed does not help you through it"
... and this ladies and gentlemen, is why I decided to visit a psychologist at age 28 because somehow, in the 14 years prior, nobody has helped me to properly understand my autism. Instead I believed, and was encourged, to be as neurotypical as possible.
-sigh-
I feel that. It’s rough. No ones helped me with my autism. In my own mind and with research I’ve seen that I am almost certainly autistic. My friends never believe me about it. All they see is how I lied to them and hurt them when overwhelmed by my feelings of being ashamed trying to please them.
same here. My family knew. No one told me. It is my sister's fault though for telling me, not my parent's for keeping it a secret. Nah bad sister, informing your brother of what a trained man with a PHD in psychology diagnosed me with, bad sister. Good Mom and Dad for keeping that a secret. You're the good guys here.
Yes I am being sarcastic.
@@shannonsmith924 It will sound like an awful, awful cliche but... you need better friends.
Between my 16th and my 20th I changed 'best friend' about yearly. The cycle went: 1/ New person! 2/ Woo, someone wants to listen to me :DD 3/ their issues, ok, fine, I can deal 4/ why arent you doing anything about them? 5/ Oh lord fucking why.
To break this toxic cycle of bad friendships, I first had to learn how to take better care of myself. I found out that good friends held me both accountable for my actions while also encouraging me to grow as a person. And if they were unwilling to help and/or accept as I am, I had to let go of them. Some probably still resent me for leaving them. Either in terms of blame or in terms of 'why has she left' and well. I had to.
Because, if i am honest with you, I also lied to people in a way. I also kept a strong front and tried to be as neurotypical as possible. I also tried to please and fit in. The moment I started to establish boundaries, I received backlash from some while other applauded me and sang praises all the way to the high heavens.
Some people surround themselves with pushovers and insecure people so they can feel strong. Other people only surround themselves with secure people because those relationships are equal, more stable and feel safe.
This all starts with learning who you are, what your boundaries are and telling people 'no, I dont want to do this' or 'let me think about it'. Talking with a therapist obviously helps in this proces.
same my mom is schizoaffective and my dads is a narcissist who just got out of prison. i always had to be a perfect role model
@@elyaequestus1409 I wish I knew this sooner. Traumatic events caused by fake friends literally have ruined my life. Trying to get it back on track
The thing that stands out to me most is the way I ate my food. It was always one item at a time. Start on one, finish it move onto the next, rinse and repeat until my plate was cleared. Mixed fruit was especially hard for me as I had to eat my grapes first, then the peaches, then the pears. One time while I was eating lunch in 2nd grade I found I had missed a grape after Moving onto the peaches, and proceeded to have a full on panic attack. Hands on either side of my tray staring hard at my food I was hyperventilating and couldn’t get my breath. The kid next to me tapped me and asked if I was alright, I turned to him, with what I’m sure now was a manic look and said yea I’m fine. I managed to eat that grape and move on with the rest of my life.
i still do stuff like this
I had to work out my food so I had little bits of all the food on my fork. I hated having any bits left over.
I'm 69 now, and I still do it.
Congrats on eating that grape lol
@@animeloveer97 me too.
for most of my life I thought the normal way to eat was finish the food you started eating and then move on to the other. the day I found out that wasn't really the case was when I was eating rice and my uncle questions me on why I haven't touched the meat. from there I became more observant on how people eat and noticed that they tend to switch between foods. I always finish one food and I drink something before moving on to the next food.
I was apparently diagnosed with autism when I was around five years old but I only found out about it two years ago (age twenty) because my parents just didn't think it was something important to tell me and learn about. It has been such a strange and stressful but also kind of healing experience to think back on what I was like growing up and realizing that I was the way I was because I'm autistic.
Tools to work with would have been nice. Honesty is best with kids. At least you know now.
A lot of my adults thought I might have autism when I was young, but never got my tested because I got along just fine, although I wasn't "normal." My mom told me that when I was in 7th grade and did a research paper on autism and thought I totally had it. In college ab psych, I learned even more about it and was like "I've grown out of a lot of my quirks, but here's 100 traits I've experienced." And now I've gone down a TH-cam rabbit hole and realize those traits have been replaced with other traits and that there are a lot of things I never thought of as evidence of autism but seem to be super common.
My parents did the same thing with my adhd. Hid it till I reached adulthood and I couldn’t keep up anymore
My dad told me a couple years ago at age 19 that my head was so big when I was born that it got injured on the way out. I was like “is that why I’m so weird??” Lately I’ve been doing research on autism and I’m like “oh shit… I think I might be autistic” lol
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on TH-cam and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons autism. speech and social skill has improved till now.
I suspect I'm also an undiagnosed high functioning autistic woman, from all the habits you described. As a child in primary school, I also told my fellow classmates that Santa never existed and refused to apologise to the teachers for telling them the truth or understood why they were upset by this and was regularly known as the 'problem child' in my school. Also, can relate to the lack of social/communication skills growing up, hiding in small dark places to get away from people and the living in my head, (I still do this regularly) plus the finger tapping and the need to walk up and down to calm myself when stressed. It all falls into place now and love my weird little quirks.
I never hid in closet, (except when I was very little, like 2 I'm told), but we had a lot of nature right outside and I spend a lot of time alone in the forest or near the sea, even in between classes at school, I would go out to places I knew few other people came, and hide if I heard anyone coming my way.
I always thought I liked being alone because I’ve been homeschooled my whole life and my brain didn’t want me to interact with others as a “safety precaution” or something lol
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
Love!
"Some people watch TV... Other people ARE the TV" is me in a nutshell😂 why would you need netflix if you have your head in which you don't have to worry about making the characters relatable because they automatically are? Daydreaming is underrated
Exactly!!!
Omg, I daydream so much too the point where I don't even think I have a real life. I live in my head too much. Its so fun too do, but so much of it can mess with ur head
@@solarpunch333 Same here, but it can be problematic if it can’t be controllable. Turns out it’s its own “malfunction” being researched called maladaptive daydreaming as an OCD. I can control it with an antidepressant with OCD treatment characteristics and although it makes me better functioning at work and home, I hate it every time I take it and tend to pull myself off it unless it interferes with my job or marriage. I never actually put it together until I was in my 30s that I was most likely on the spectrum somewhere, and had ADHD (non-hyperactive).
Look up maladaptive daydreaming
@@laguna4life ehhh Maladaptive daydreaming is a part of OCD?????? I didn't know that....
I literally always have a song stuck in my head if I stop to think about it. Recently I started a Spotify playlist where I add those songs and the variety is hilarious.
Me too. No playlists though. It's usually one song for a very long time. By the time it leaves, I don't care to ever revisit it again lol.
I think that could be a beautiful story. Sometimes I wonder if the ear worms some how correlate to feelings I'm ignoring or if it's completely random.
@@rainbowkrampus bahahaha, same! I’ve commented half a dozen times on this video and I’ve never related more than in the comments with everyone. 😬😅
i'm definitely gonna start doing that now.
Same here, it could be any song but it plays itself to death in my head. Usually nighttime and if I wake in the night, 😩
I am there with you on the lying thing. I would also lie to peers about seeing a certain movie or watching certain TV shows. I was watching “kids shows” and playing with dolls when all the other kids were doing more “mature” things. I lied out of embarrassment.
same!!! i hate "mature tv" and i much prefer childrens shows, i always have. i constantly lie about liking them though because i know they're incredibly childish and i didnt want to embarass myself.
😳 I never realized until my children hit their growing out of dolls and Barbie phase how early that came… was rather shocking. I played Barbie’s until I was in 10th grade to some extent. I kinda miss escaping there lol
@@snakeliker @MinaSoyMilk I think you should own it! There is no rule that states that once you "grow up" you should like "mature" content, and being genuine is an honourable trait to have ^^
@@flyingroses Thank you! I have recently started to :)
I literally never stopped watching Arthur 😭
We are in the process of getting my daughter diagnosed. When you mentioned standing with your legs having your right and left foot switched. 😮 I never saw anyone do that besides my daughter. For some reason it made me feel emotional and validated that it’s not in my head. I love her quirks and would never ask her to stop because it makes her feel cozy as she says
If you are referring to the “stance” as standing like a 🦩flamingo. Then I would be like your daughter.
I also do this . 😁
I tend do it a ton when I have to do Dishes 🦩
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy.
As a child I used to build "caves" where I put blankets over a desk. I did this till I was 14. I am also a heavy daydreamer. I had some friends in kindergarten and primary school, but I was always the weird one. I lost a lot of them, when they changed to other schools than me. I can not handle my own workload, I'm chewing at my lower lip all the time and I'm picking my fingernails. I'm literally sitting in my bed right now, wrapped in three blankets and writing a story I always see in my head, before I go to sleep. I'm not diagnosed to be autistic, but after watching a lot of your videos I'm almost certain I am.
I hope you share your stories one day.
I’ve been painting my nightmares.. waiting for the start of the screening process.. thanks for sharing 💜
YES THE BLANKET TABLE FORTS, I adored setting those up with pillows and sitting in the living room like a small goblin watching television
you described a lot of my experiences too, I'm not diagnosed either but my family and I are sure I'm on the spectrum
Finger music playing! I do that, when I do it I don’t stop until I make sure I tap each finger an equal amount of times
😨
Got to be fair to the individual fingerpads. Same thing with walking on a variety of surfaces - each foot has to get a fair share of them.
yeah, same here
Ah! Same!!💯
I do it to count sylbles (please tell me if I spelt that wrong) in songs, books or other people talking. No one ever notices though
I am an old lady now. Last year I was diagnosed with being on the Autism Spectrum. It was 16 years ago I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Things finally made sense. This video helps, and reading the comments help because I did many of the same things.
Thank You!
Me, too! It was a puzzle piece, another puzzle piece into why I couldn't learn like other kids.
I'm a teenager but I learned I have Attention Defecit Disorder a few years ago and I definitely relate to this video too
I am 81 years old only found out I haveADHD a few years ago .Looking for information about my nephew autism. The more I read the more I knew that I that I had ADHD .The doctors said I was to old to have it .I found a doctor who gave me a test and said I have all the symptoms So please if you just think you might have something do your homework and go for a test.Been in therapy for years until I was diagnosed.
@Rosemarie Diorio I can relate to that. I’m 61 and starting to pursue diagnosis for ADHD and may spring for autism as well. The DSM is frustrating because it’s really written for kids, and they’ve left out critical traits like emotional dysregulation. Some ADHD experts acknowledge this but other clinicians believe myths about ADHD, like if you weren’t diagnosed by old age you couldn’t have it. ADHD in older adults is almost completely unresearched.
@@rosemariediorio5431 Your doctor telling you you were to old to have ADHD is proof some doctors are clueless idiot's. Does he think people stop having ADHD at a certain age, lol. I'd be embarrassed if I was your doctor.
As an adult, I had to buy a new copy of Watership Down because I'd eaten about 25% of my original!
Thanks for sharing - your videos are going to be a great help to me in explaining all my traits for my upcoming diagnosis session.
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy.
thank you for the lying part! i lied sooooo much as a kid and i felt really bad doing it. i'm still doing it. e.g when i'm really overwhelmed and i know i can't handle a situation, it's just easier to say i'm physically sick.. I still hate doing it. it feels like i'm not giving myself the chances i deserve.
i guess around 15 i started a book, where i wrote down my everyday lies. they were so many, it really scared me. i didn't understand at this age, that they were all lies to cover up my differences and struggles.
i just felt like a horrible person. today i try to force myself to tell the truth, but sometimes i just can't.
Same,
Once I figured out that I'm autistic and I started getting a better grasp on what my limitations are, the "need" to lie greatly diminished.
Though, like you, sometimes I just don't have the capacity to deal.
I’m.. not the only one then. It’s ruined my trust with my friends. They hate me for lying when I don’t even realize I lie to hide my shame in trying to please them when they put me on the spot for a curious question that’s inappropriate at the time to ask. I’m just curious! I mean come on. Every time they put me on the spot I feel horrible. Why would friends do this?
I’m new to the whole ASD thing and I’m trying to figure out how my whole life can be explained by being on the spectrum. One of my biggest issues is the masking; I’ve masked so heavily that I’m not sure where the real me is. I’m also wondering how heavily I masked due to Asperger’s and how heavily I masked to hide the fact that I was gay. In the late ‘70s, as I was entering puberty, being gay in a religious family was completely unacceptable. I learned to hide my true self early on, but I now think I was good at it because I had years of practice from masking my total lack of social skills and anxiety about being around people. I don’t even know how to describe it. There’s so much for me to unpack that I’ll probably die of old age before I unpack everything.
OMG I relate to those first couple of sentences so much. It’s difficult when you feel like you don’t even know who you are. I hate it. I also don’t remember my childhood much so I spend half my days looking for clues. I don’t think I’ve had a day since being diagnosed just over a year ago where I haven’t thought about all this (not to mention the months before that).
I'm a queer, polyamorous, pansexual agender AMAB person recently discovering ASD and an ADHD diagnosis and ALSO grew up in a strictly religious and conservative household. I'll tell you how bad it was: my parents asked me to stop contacting them when I took exception to their full-throated support of Donald Trump. They told me that if I hated him, Satan is the source of hatred and I needed to think about how I had chosen to live with hate in my heart etc. etc. blah blah. The irony would be risible were it not so tragic. They still periodically reach out to see if I've decided I've turned over a new, less hateful leaf. They've not yet figured out it is their own hatred separating them from their offspring. Oh well. Point is, I see you, I validate your hardships and concerns, and I encourage you, comrade. Continue to live and thrive as best you can and seek the resources you need to cope. And as a fellow David, I feel even more affinity with you :)
Hi David , I think you should be proud of yourself for willing to discover more . I feel exactly the same way you do , I don’t know who I really am due to all the masking . It can be hard , however i find it easier to think … Autism , all this masking or not masking stuff , it’s still “me” , just me figuring out what’s socially acceptable and what I can accept about myself . There is no true self behind all this , everything defines me , it’s all just building blocks of what makes me “me” . I don’t know if that made sense , but hope you will see this and not feel alone .
I'm 66 and find new suitcases to unpack everyday. I'm also gay. Totally grew up in a very restricted abusive environment. I've been a Buddhist for almost 50 years. Having this practice of meditation has helped me process who I am. It's like a quest. One I'll be on all my days. Best wishes to you. Be patient with unpacking the gift that you truly are.🤗💝
God I love autistics in autism comments sections 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 We’ve got all the emojis and all the love 🥳 hi David
I still hide in bathrooms 🙃 in college I found a rare single locking ladies room on the uppermost floor hidden amongst empty offices and one rarely-used conference room. At my last job I used a lav in a closed nursing unit. Most recently I had to attend a wedding alone which was so 10/10 on my social anxiety scale that I probably went to the bathroom 40 times lol before I finally could leave
I hide in bathrooms too! It’s conforting to know that other people do it hahah
I do this too!
I don’t hide in bathrooms but I tend to hide in my walk in closet. It’s smaller, very cozy, and dark. Mind you..I am 45 and still tucking myself into small spaces all of the time.
I hid in bathrooms at school to cry because I cried easily and I didn't want the other kids to see I was crying (show no weakness to bullies).
Going to the bathroom is my go-to move when I need a break from social situations!
The more videos I watch from you the more and more I relate. (Diagnosed with Aspergers when I was small and ADHD in my teens. I’m 24 now)
The imaginary world thing is spot on and I still do it to this day but not as much now as I met more and more people now. Listening to music is one of the biggest triggers for it to kick in. I’d lock myself in my room for hours rocking in my bed or pacing back and forth thinking, laughing and talking to myself for hours. It’s super embarrassing when people catch me doing it. Turning them into creative writing was a huge outlet for my overactive imagination. (my ear worms are like an infestation at this point 😂) I also do the tapping thing too with my fingers, pacing like a maniac or fiddling with my feet are also somethings I do as well.
The paper thing I did sometimes but for me it was more stickers and tape. I’d peel off stickers and tape and chew on it and taste all the different adhesives. A kid caught me pulling a sticker off my school desk and was mortified by me doing this. I stopped that from embarrassment 😅 But it shifted to biting and picking my nails and cuticles and I still do that to adulthood when I’m feeling really stressed.
One of my stims is water, I’d be in the bathroom for a really long time staring at the faucet and just letting the water run off my hands, I did this too in the shower and it would annoy my parents because of how much they’d complain about the water bill. I don’t play with water as much now but water is still really comforting. (I’d also spend all day in swimming pools)
My biggest hyper fixation is animals and I still love animals to this day. As a child I’d pretend to be a big cat cuz that’s what I was obsessed with at the time 😅 Walking on all fours, making the sounds of a tiger but this was only in private. The hyper fixation then went to snakes and lizards (I didn’t act like them though so I grew out of that) I now have my own reptiles and I’m glad because their scales are a good Stim for me especially snakes and the feeling of them slithering. They’re quiet and not loud and jumpy like dogs. (I do love dogs but I prefer animals that aren’t so energetic) Now I’m getting really big into fish cuz my job currently is working with aquariums. So far absolutely loving it and it’s all I’m talking about now is fish 😂 I’ve got my own tanks set up now and everything. Best of both worlds scales and Water and watching them is so fascinating 🥰
I didn’t hide in closets but I loved finding corners to sit in at school especially private reading but during recess and stuff I’d be away from the other kids usually under the slide playing in the sand by myself. Hiding in bathroom stalls is something I still do to this day when I’m feeling overwhelmed. But being in a quiet room alone is my happy place. People always knew what spots I claimed cuz I’d squirrel my things away in in those spots. If my things weren’t there I’d have a freak 😅
I wasn’t the kind of person to go around telling everyone Santa wasn’t real I always just kept things to myself but I am wicked blunt without meaning to be sometimes it just slips out and makes everything really awkward. But something I did a lot was mimicking the “norms” so I’d fit in and the lying to cover up my quirks when I’m in public or around my family. Some of my family members forget sometimes that I’m on the Autism scale because of how much I mimic what I see in public and what’s socially acceptable. The lying to hide my shame in my weirdness hit home for me personally. 😅
I did a lot of weird things and I have cringe attacks to this day of memories that would slip in my head in my daily life and I fester on them just wondering why I did these things. I always knew it was part of my neurodiversity but it’s still embarrassing to think about 😂
Me in public spaces: overwhelmed and overstimulated
Me in the bathroom stall: this is more like it!
@@herewegokids7 Exactly! XDD
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy.
8:45 -Fearing that others can hear your thoughts is a trait of social anxiety!
Huh, I kinda though that everyone did that...
Yep i have that. Got nervous today cause the radio said ""i can here your thought. Feel your feelings. " I got super jumpy.
What kind of shit are y'all thinkin about that has you so concerned... 🤔
azsli2
This is the funniest thing!
@@JustAnEmptyCageGirl in hindsight yes it is. In the moment my whole being was screaming to run.
Wait... Are you saying that having your favorite hidden bathroom is not a thing everyone has? 🤔🤯 (daily dose of sarcasm)
Apparently other people just ... go to the bathroom?
@@YoSamdySam For a brief brief moment I was thinking that you were claiming to actually hide . . . inside of the toilet [bowl].
@@gaberelich same 😆
At home i am lucky we have 2 bathrooms as my daughter often spends hours hiding in the bathroom lol
@@YoSamdySam even at home it is my favorite place to get away or feel safe or comfort
I smell my hair. I pick shampoo on purpose so as to have pleasant smelling hair. I use it to mask unpleasant smells. I am super sensitive to aroma.
Me too!
You can get necklaces on eBay which are a small capsule. I cut the tip of a cotton bud and add a couple of drops of an essential oil I like or perfume. When I smell something horrid (like the inside of a mask during Covid) I undo the capsule and sniff it or even dab it somewhere close. My favourite is peppermint but you can pick anything. For mask wearing it’s been awesome!
@@pinkmagicali I have one it has an assortment of felt discs for a locket that holds essential oils. A friend got it from earthbound. But I am not much of a jewelry wearer.
Me too. I can't handle the smell of cigarette or campfire smell in my hair
This is really facinating, thank you so much for sharing this.
The living in characters and rhytmic tapping songs are very relatable.
I always counted my steps and if walking on a footpath I HAD to step on the lines with alternating feet and if it didn't line up I did a wierd little skip so that it would align to feel safe.. soo strange.. honestly so glad I found your channel someone pointed out to me that my monotone or extremely pitchy tone of voice is a sign of ASD about 6 months ago and only now doing the research.. literally blows my mind to watch your videos and realise they were right
This.
I've always done that same thing except I had to step over the lines, because the whole "step on a crack break your mamas back" did something to my brain even though I knew it wasn't true.
I also counted in multiples of 6 while I did that.
@@xaryn.bluebearyn Same! Except I always count in 8. Though the counting goes for everything--like drinking or brushing my teeth. Also I split seven into two (sev-ven) but still call it eight.
@@BlizzardSiya16 oh yeah the counting is in almost every little thing I do. I flick my fingers as a stim while counting to 6, I swallow food and drink too different parts of my mouth in 6, just little things that seem unnecessary. It doesn't make sense but somehow it does 🤷🏼
When I first started following ASD communities, people would say something and I would go, "I DID THAT!"
(There's a group on Facebook I quit finally because even though they're all very lovely people, I'm autistic and people annoy me. Specifically, there were sometimes people who _asked my advice and then didn't take it._
I'm sure you understand.)
TH-cam has been bombing me with autism-related recommendations lately despite me never searching for it. I'm not autistic- or at least I don't think I am- but some of these are relatable for me too! Glad youtube is helping spread awareness
watched someone with ASD/EDS in the past so now i get a lot of EDS stuff, it's a bit interesting
Most of us are on the spectrum...the degree varies. My sisters and I have decided we are all a little affected...
Same I think I did all of these at some point in childhood. Including hiding in the toilet. I still have a small place in my home that I intend on hiding in when the world is coming to an end or an impending tsunami... lol
Same! ???
@@smievil eds as the disorder that makes you stretchy and flexible ? I have that lol
My daughter walked on her tip toes... She's 27 and still does it when she's barefoot at home. My MIL used to say she was practicing to wear high heels. We didn't know she had Asperger's.
I used to do the same thing. But I was diagnosed with bpd.
I did it too. But I was enrolled in a really intense ballet school (which I loved). The kind where you have classes 3-4 days a week. Everyone just thought I was practicing dance. I was a decent dancer, coincidence? I think not.
I walked on my tip toes as a toddler and i spoke at very early. 9 months
Im 25 male I still walk on my tiptoes when I'm barefoot too it's more comfortable and natural feeling than walking "flatfooted(?)"
@@missymarie708 both bipolar and borderline are fairly common amongst misdiagnosed autistic females and if you specifically mean borderline there's quite a bit out there that seems to suggest it may be related to adhd and autism (also possibly giftedness) instead of being a personality disorder which would means borderlines would technically be borderlines whether they developed bpd or not
I related to many of these childhood traits! As a 90s kid, I remember “rocking” my feet as well as locking my legs. Even in college, I would often take off my shoes and wander the halls barefoot or sit on the floor during class. It was common to find me under a table/desk working on a project instead of sitting “proper” at the desk. I found all kinds of hidey holes to cozy up into! I often got bored waiting around for someone to notice I was missing tho.. 😉
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from TH-cam here. His herbs work perfectly
It's really interesting how similar the experiences of people with ASD and ADHD can be.
theyre usually comorbif bucko
I don't know what I am struggling with. ADHD or ASD or both🤔😮💨😔
I was diagnosed ADHD n starting to wonder if I’m both i wish I could rename off all the things that I relate to in this video… it’s just similar things with my own twists! Crazy. Makes me wonder
It’s common for people with ASD to also be diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, & depression.
@@serraangel177 Although medically correct I’m not sure comorbid is quite the best word these days-I’m the UK we use co-occurring/concomitant/associated or secondary condition particularly when describing mental health and ADD/ADHD/OCD/Autism spectrum. Don’t know why but I guess the ‘morbid’ part makes it sound a bit dark and dismal 🤣!
I'm not sure if I'm autistic, but I did every one of those things.
My favorite thing to do was tell stories in my head. I usually had three or four going and if I was bored I'd jump into one of my stories. My parents joke that I didn't live on this planet with them until I was a teenager because I was in my head so often
oh my god i do that too and it's the most annoying thing in the world for me. it's like i either do that or i talk in real life to other people and lots of people hate when i do that so it's either i torture myself or i torture other people and honestly it's hard to pick. having a song stuck in my head usually helps though because if words are in my head, then i don't need to make up my own words.
Having gone on an extensive and focused research mode on all things autism during last year, I'm very confident that I'm an undiagnosed adult autistic person, and I relate to so much on all your videos. They have really made me feel validated and seen and given me new perspective in observing myself. Thank you!
As a child I used to hide in small spaces like cupboards, cardboard boxes, under the table and the like, and squeeze into tight spaces. Somehow having the space encompass me felt comforting and safe. I still feel a strong pull towards any tiny spaces I see and like to build "nests" in corners or couches or under the table.
I have pretended to be characters as long as I can remember, and I still do it. I would go on my daily stuff seemingly normal on the outside, but on the inside I'd be a character doing different stuff. I used to suck on my hair too, nowadays I just suck on my lower lip. I used to and still do tap out songs stuck in my head (and I do get A LOT of songs stuck in my head). I used to lie about feeling physically ill in school to get out of situations that made me anxious. I also hate standing still, I think as a child it was easier for me but nowadays I need to at least pace or I'll get really agitated.
I did believe in santa until I was about 12 years old. I found out by accident that santa isn't real and I was so furious at my parents for having lied to me. :D
I relate to this so much 😊
Lol! I believed in Santa until I was 11 too, and I was angry that my parents lied to me too. I am pretty sure I am not Autistic though, because whilst I can relate socially, I can read body languague, and I do not stim.
I still believe in Santa!! No one is going to make me believe otherwise
@@daisychain473 Can you read body language like it's making obvious connections you respond directly to? Or have you gotten so practiced at decoding the patterns and symbols into meaningful expressions that it's been a while since it's crossed your mind that everyone else seems to be using a native language and you're always translating...
Mentioning it because I was quite good at people (which is definitely not the most NT way to think about these skills) by the time I got to adulthood. Only very recently did I stumble onto the crack in how I was working out what the (in)appropriate things to do were and revisit how badly I'd struggled to be social until I'd explicitly reasoned out good enough approximations and maybe just very effective masking.
I used to tell little stories about people like "over there, I think those two are on a date, and looking at him leaning in and her leaning back and looking around like that... he thinks it's going very well and she's not interested at all". And sure, I'm recognizing the body language, but it's based on explicitly reasoning it out and not recognition.
Just to be clear I don't have a diagnosis, but I'm starting to think it makes more sense than other explanations (and gives some fairly useful predictions about what circumstances are most likely to trip me up in practice.)
@@mxpants4884 Sorry! I did read all of it, and thank you for replying to me. I did not used to be very good with eye contact, and I would walk with my head to the floor. I never trained myself on body langauge though. I think I just knew.
I was so confused when you said the part about "hiding in toilets." I had spoken to my son today about the time he got stuck in the bowl of the toilet and I realized that the toilet beans the restroom/bathroom in the UK. Then my brain caught up and I realized I hide in my room and/or car often.
I had the same picture in my head, hiding in an actual toilet😂😂
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy.
Same
I didn't hide in toilets/bathrooms at primary school or high school as I had an aversion for going into them for some reason. But now.looking back I definitely did it at home, and still do it in work or social settings when I feel overwhelmed
I definitely used bathroom stalls to retreat to when upset or lonely at school. It was the only place. Sit there and cry, try to calm down and wait for my face to get normal again.....ended up crying more. I'm a teacher now and still find it soothing to just take a quiet break in a bathroom stall away from ALL THE PEOPLE!
In elementary school we would sometimes receive a fortune cookie with our lunch. I convinced a group of classmates that in order for your fortune to come true, you had to tear the paper into as many pieces as there were words in the fortune, then eat those pieces one by one.
In all reality this was an elaborate cover story to explain why I was eating the paper fortune from my cookie 😂
That’s so creative !
Yeah understandable
You are a genius
LOL that’s pretty clever!
This is absolutely ingenious!
When I relate to content like this I dont know if Im on the spectrum or if there is no such thing as 'normal' and that everyone could relate to some elements
Same, I’m questioning as well but I relate to a number of these traits, albeit with some variations. Special mention goes to the finger tapping one, which I would tap my fingers to the rhythm… playing in my head. It’s something that I often do since my childhood.
I still tap things, but it's because I feel bad things will happen if I don't. I used to eat foam cushion filling but when the Dr. Put me on iron tablets that went away. I'm 54 and my son is 27 and he still walks on tiptoes from time to time, which is another sign of Autism, I think there's a bit of it in all of us.
@@julie-annhall2078 the tapping thing is similar to OCD. Have you been diagnosed with that/thought about that possibility?
@@julie-annhall2078 ya I agree there’s some symptoms of it in everyone. Not to deny autistic experiences, but I do think it is that everyone has some similisr experiences sometimes. But I do think it’s important to be careful with saying that, since it can come off as rude. Personally I know people saying “we’re all a little ADHD/OCD” is upsetting. Even if some people occasionally have tendencies, it’s nowhere like actually having it.
Yes, everyone can relate to PARTS of autism. But how many of those markers do they have? Everyone has smells, sounds, textures, and places they dont like, everyone has things they like done a certain way...everyone has social blunders here and there, and everyone has quirks... but how does your brain work? Are you extremely literal, black/white thinking, inability to read body language or project it correctly, difficulty discerning sarcasm, executive function problems, emotional shut downs, involuntary physical movements (this is actually a good example....having a hand movement or involuntary moving doesnt mean Parkinson's or being a little bit Parkinson's) major sensory difficulties which overpower and drown out the things around you, difficulty reading social cues, hyper fixation on a topic, repetitive sound/dialogue loops, inability to connect to peer groups or making friends easily, situational mutism, or any other of the countless markers of autism....?
Simply having a left hand doesn't make someone left handed.
I want you to know, dear, that I'm 53 years old, and you just pretty much described my entire childhood. I also would stand on one foot with the other foot placed inside my standing thigh. I hid in closets, attics, basements, old barns, etc. Spent more time with bugs and other nature than people. This makes me wonder... Thank you!
I’m 79 and just figuring out I may be autistic.. I always stood as you described, on one leg with my foot on my other leg just below the knee.
I am 51. Just realizing this is me after a lifetime of feeling like an alien
I'm 35 and I did all of these things and even the one leg stand like you.
Quijybo Janklebits sorry, but you don't belong here. You're too young. 😁
I'm 59 and was 56 when my daughter told me she was on the spectrum. I set out to prove her wrong and after reading all the symptoms and traits, said, "What the heck!! I'm autistic!". Now I'm convinced I have "Fragile-X Syndrome"
@@flxmkr lmao your telling a person with a psychology masters and a 145 IQ that he's too young to be in a conversation at 36 years old. Please reread your comment before you comment again.
According to you my 35 years of an undiagnosed status have no merit in a conversation about how one stands, doesn't that sound idiotic?
Tbh this is so nice to watch. I have no idea if i'm even autistic or not, but that doesnt matter since i have ALWAYS been a weird person 😂 i can relate somewhat to that "creating characters" thing, i dont know if they were imaginary friends or what, but like, yea, i did create some random characters i guess and that was actually embarrassing for me, dont know why. Other kids also thought i'm weird, maybe for that reason or some other reason, dunno. Often i kinda hated playing with other kids, because they did everything in a wrong way, i wanted to do things my way. I was alone quite a lot. I remember being anxious very often, it seems like i had a lot of anxiety since i was at least 6 so pretty young. I also never knew what i should do and how i should live.. not knowing how to live and do things has been my biggest issue since 6-8 years old, maybe even younger. That's why i cried a lot. I was really lost and didn't know how to move forward. It's weird how life can already be so difficult when you're so young. And when other people say that "as a kid you didn't have to worry about anything" i'm like okay.... I did nothing more, i only worried about stuff and felt so anxious when i was a child lol. It felt like the end of the world, in a way i kinda felt that i was already dead as a child, that this is the end of my life because i can't fucking move past this :D but.. i guess you gotta deal with what you've been given.
But it's nice that i'm not the only weird person. Maybe i'm autistic, maybe not, but i'm definitely weird and i guess now i can be proud of it too.
I have a huge issue with the Father Christmas thing. I trusted my parents totally; when I realised they had actually lied to me, it was devastating!
Don't lie to your children, they rely on you.
me and my brother are neurodivergent and it was the same for us
I was twelve (yes, really) when my mom finally had to take me on a walk and tell me verbally Santa wasn't real. I was crushed. 😣
It totally depends on how you present it. I officially found out at the age of 10 from my grandmother who simply said, "you know he doesn't exist right?" Uh yeah, yeah of course. *me who was starting to suspect but didn't actually know* I mean that's not the nicest way to put it. Oh do I know that the magical being that you've been telling me since I was little was real is not actually real? Um no because none of you have ever said that until now. That's not the way to go about it.
Or you can do it like we did with my son. Kept the magic alive because he really wanted to believe and celebrate that since he was little like all his friends, then when he started to ask around 10, I explained that the Santa we incorporate now was based on a real person in the olden days and we keep the magic of giving going to make it fun for our children and that he probably will do it for his own someday for the same reasons. He actually thanked me for telling him and was happy with that answer. So doesn't have to necessarily be this big bad lie. It's about perspective and how you explain it to the kids. Had my family explained it that way to me, I'm sure it wouldn't have been so crushing at the time. Of course parents don't have to incorporate him at all. But if they do, there are definitely ways of handling better.
We've always told our children that it's a tradition of dressing up to celebrate the tale of St Nicholas, and that the message was to make sure that children have what they need for the winter season.
I recognized my parents handwriting on the gift tags and Santa used the same wrapping paper as our family...so, pretty obvious
Living as a character really resonated with me. I did this until around 15. 😅
Its kinda embarrassing but I'll still do it at times. Especially if my depression has gotten worse or I'm really bored at work. I'm 28
I still do that.
@@Daisy-dp2ez You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's just another way of dealing with the hard times, similr to reading a book or watching TV. It's just a book in your head 🥰
I still do this. I'm 69 years old😉
I still do it.
So I have a tendency to dig into depressive episodes where I can't get myself to take my meds, work, but I've managed to get myself to at least feed myself and walk the dog. On these days I try to work myself out of it by watching videos like yours. I cried a lot on this one. Late diagnosis makes me think back on childhood a lot. This is so relatable.
It’s hard walking my dog some days too but I look at him and I tell him he’s a good boy and I take him out.
It’s not him it’s the fact that I don’t want to go outside sometimes
I did this too for a long time. Recently some of my other conditions have gotten worse, so there are days when I physically can't walk him, but he gave me that little shred of motivation to get up on days when my mind felt like a physical weight.
If your meds are the type that need to build up in your system before they really start working, then not taking your meds might be reinforcing this cycle, sadly. My advice would be to put your meds where you have to interact with the bottle(s) in order to do something else that you do have the energy for. For example, set them on top of the dog’s food container - something you’re not likely to end up avoiding due to associated anxiety about how you don’t feel the energy to take the meds. The idea is that, if you have to interact with the med bottles anyways, it’s not too much more effort to open them and take the meds.
This is where I am today. Wasted my day trying to get out of my head and into my body. Depressed and unable to exercise- which usually gets me to just below a sort of baseline.
This is torture and All I want to do is figure a way out
Chloe-That’s me today.
Wow! So many of these are me. Lying about feeling sick or unwell was a big ones (American schools didn't allow them to give us anything in the nurses office so I actually often got to go home usually) or saying I'm not hungry or saying I had eaten earlier to avoid offending people hit home. I make up stories with characters in my head to this day too. A lot of these hit home.
I used to roll myself up in the living room rug when I was feeling sad. I also used to eat my ice cream in such a way that my grandmother lovingly told me “good luck finding a husband that won’t think that’s weird.”
I used to lick my plate clean after eating ice cream and my Nonna told me that it would rain on my wedding day!
I've been married twice now and it didn't rain either time! Lol
I did the rug thing, too.
I was fond of squeezing myself under my bed.
This was Texas and it would've been too hot to roll up in a rug lol.
Rolling yourself up in a rug probably gives the same effect as a weighted blanket
Oh wow. I always used to lick the plate clean... even now I still do at home... and so do both of my children.
This made me remember all the times I forced my mam to roll me up really tightly in my duvet, and how I used to viciously stir my ice cream till it was half melted
Haha you're right about U.S. high schools. I've had so many people ask me "What are you doing!?" in that exact voice 😂
Yessss American high schools are definitely not a fun place especially for nds. I ended up going to 3 of them in 4 years 😭
Me too! 🤣
Is living as characters in your head for a day not something every child does??
I play a whole animated episodes of my characters in my head
All of these sound like things that children do.
@@sometimessnarky1642 I really hope you're not minimizing the traits and struggles of autism in your comment. That's not what my initial comment was about.
I didn’t have the imagination to do so. I read constantly but I’m not able to picture things in my head on my own at all.
@@kungfupeachez you might have aphantasia then? I think that's how you spell it at least, it's where you cant picture things in your head.
I was a paper eater too and was regularly called to the front of the class and shamed for it. I was made to feel like I was the only one in the world with this "disgusting" habit. Hair sucking too was a phase I went through. The teacher told me that if you suck your hair it can be swallowed and it will wind its way around your heart and kill you (seriously, teachers shouldn't lie to kids) but anyway it cured me.
they told me that hair you suck on will become worms that will eat you from the inside
whenever I felt stomach discomfort I figured I had accidentally gotten hair worms and I needed to dispose of my forbidden candy wrapper stash under my bed to hide the evidence because I didn't want to disappoint my parents after they eventually had to clean my room after I was... *gone*
reason #234 I cried in closets at random times as a kid
I got told the worm thing about chewing my fingernails. I keep mine meticulously cared for now, because if they look weird or chip I will chew them and get back into the habit because I like the feeling.
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy.
Teeth clicking... i'm 21 yrs old and ever since childhood I've clicked my teeth together to the rhythm of whatever song was stuck in my head. And I have songs stuck in my head basically all the time, so yeah, lots of chomping. And the more anxious I am, the more strictly i "have to" click on every single word of the song as it plays in my head.
Weird, right before I read your comment I was doing just that…
i do this but with blinking as well, like blinking to the beat of a song!
I do this with breathing.. i will breathe along with the song it”s wierd
Yeah I’ll do this thing where I kind of “play drums” with my teeth along with songs. Probably not good for them because I grind them a lot lol
YES
My mam said to me once ' it's good to be a bit weird in life, it makes you more interesting' and she's right, what is weird anyway, as long as you're a nice person and treat people the way you would want to be treated yourself, you can't go wrong😁
My youngest says I've passed on my weirdness to her, and she was terribly happy about that 🤣 I did a funny dance to celebrate
❤️
With millions of neurdivergents on the planet, who`s to say whats weird and normal anymore.
I hate standing still too, I even brush my teeth walking around in the house, but never standing in the bathroom 😅
Hahaha me too. The amount of times I've started cleaning my teeth in the bathroom, doing a few laps of the front room and kitchen, arrive back at the bathroom with the door now shut and someone occupying it hahaha.
Me too! Always have....yes, I'm sure I'm on the spectrum...
Yes this, even today
@@lewisgreenhalgh7546 omg, I am sure my husband thinks I'm nuts. I may end up outside, or trying to find someplace to spit while running through the house.
I still can't stand still, I has always been wiggly. Fingers, toes, rocking side to side even sitting still is a struggle.
"Some people watch t.v., some people are their own t.v." MM! Nailed that for me. Thank ye!
you’re actually super correct about american school being the ultimate culture of conformity
Nah. I think japan has the us beat on that.
I friended the sci-fi misfits. that was my group. but not really quite me.
Maybe middle school but my highschool was great for me exploring my own interests and everyone just being friends with each other
@@veedle18 I'm a Japanese person living in America and I agree. Compared to Japan, America doesn't even have conformity...
Could you do a video on emotional attachment and friendship? Did you find you failed to bond emotionally to peers, become overly attached to people, or become obsessive in relationships?
Wow this is a big issue. I have had.
@@CalamityCori same 😩
100% did this. When I had friends in school they were EVERYTHING to me, which means I endured a lot of meanness and abuse for the sake of keeping my "friends" around. Like I would give people my possessions in exchange for them being nice to me for awhile. It sucked.
Many of your behaviors are ones that I did. I ate paper. I went to the nurse for anxiety. Others that you didn't mention. I like to read the phone book and encyclopedias. I spied on adults to tr to understand how they worked. I did not interact with other kids for a whole summer, because I didn't realize that I was expected to do so, and my parents didn't encourage me to go out and play with other kids. I am 67 and now just self-diagnosing.
I get the phone book and encyclopedia part, though in my case, it was reading the dictionary cover to cover, as well as my father's medical textbooks.
I also loved encyclopedias and read through the phone books....and catalogues. I don't know if these things are "normal" or not. 🤣
I memorized zip codes in my state. When I would meet a new person and I found out where they lived I’d blurt out their zip code. No wonder people thought I was strange lol. I also had a set of animal encyclopedias that I would read constantly, all 20 books.
I loved this video! My daughter is 22 and was diagnosed at 15. I KNEW something was special about her at a young age, but when OCD starting taking over her life, Asperger’s ended up being her diagnosis. A few of the “strange” things she did was walk on the balls of her feet (which she stills does), she’s very very VERY picky eater, would only drink milk, she would pretend to be a dog…all day long…walking on her hands and knees…panting AND barking, would be interested in something or like a certain food for a month or two and then never touch it again, did not like playing with others…she preferred to be by herself. She was never selfish and would share if there were other children, but she would grab a book and just sit in the corner. She still lives at home and we are trying to get her comfortable with social norms, but she still thinks about just herself or how something affects HER…not others. She also has to have everything done right away. Like if she needs batteries and doesn’t know where they are, she will hound me or bitch until I get them. She is absolutely brilliant and is an amazing digital artist…drawing dogs. (The kid loves dogs!). I know a lot of these traits seem like a spoiled brat, and some probably are because we always did what we could to make her happy and comfortable. But seeing as how she’s getting ready to graduate from college, she has to learn social norms and how to read a room. Thank you for sharing your story!
if she is autistic she might literally not be ABLE to learn "social norms and how to read a room". she is NOT doing it on purpose
wow, my 13 yro kid is exactally what u describe....but replace dog with cat, and yea, wow! he walks on his tip toes, and barely goes to school at the min, tough times.
@@BLK2000 there are sooooo many amazing programs that will help you help your kiddo! I waited too long
@@lauriemyers3 well im new hear learning i dont know much about this i have a cousin who has a son with it heard my aunt tell my mom once not long ago see she has it too my life was a train wreck then. So of course it wasnt about me i dismissed it but now 56 im trying to find out why i made the choices i made in my life. A drifter a loner. The library the role playing the lying the anxiety fumble my words. Hide in small spaces. Hypertensive im all this an. Ad as adult oh im not mean with intent i want yo be heard and understood i think now looking back may be some of those behaviors i did for attention to get a reaction. From mom dad anyone that i thought i could amuse but on the dark side which i really never have spoke about to very few and just so were clear never did i play the victim card when i tell you the emotional. Neglect from my parents a long with a some one molesting me at 6 on the schooll yard i felt always like the outsider 🙄i became an ashamed to say it now was a dancer for many years and im not talking ballet here dont ask me why but what im taking from all of this maybe im like this too thanks for listening ill be watching lord hope i didnt say yo much
This sounds exactly like me except for the animal part, but I always have to be wearing both socks and shoes or I’ll walk on my tiptoes to avoid the cold gross floor
Holy ish, the part about lying out of shame struck such a cord with me. I very much remember a time when I was young and we went to a field trip to the theater in gothenburg to watch an abstract dance, and the music was unbearably loud that had a lot of sudden, sharp trumpets. Instead of telling the teacher that it hurt, because I thought I would be rude, I sat through the entire thing and burts into tears and had a meltdown instead when one of the dancers walked up to me to ask if I enjoyed it :')
Hand flapping & skin picking are the most difficult ones to deal with, they never really stopped. Anxiety & sensoric overload led to run & hide. Humming can't always be avoided in public, it's so soothing.
Have you tried listening to music with headphones instead of humming?
I feel this. I’ve been picking at skin on my lips since forever really. I can’t think of a time I wasn’t picking at them. My grandma has been yelling at me for it for years now. Almost 19 now lol. Hand flapping isn’t quite as common for me. Only if I really feel like I need to move
If I hear someone at work humming it alters my nervous system.
I randomly hum if I feel anxious but if I'm in a really good mood I can't help but whistle.. I blame it on spending too much time with my pet birds.
Excoriation can be hell. I don't notice I'm doing it most times.
"I looked pretty normal from the outside but boy was I hiding a whole host of weirdness within" Sis! We friends! 😅🙌🏼👯♀️💜
Same here
Im amazed people remember their childhood. I remember the stories i was told about it, but i dont remember what i was like. Watching this, I do remember building horses out of bluetack and taking them around with me in my pocket. I remember being sent home sick a LOT. I remember they always used to tell me i looked pale and never questioned it.
I had specific routines like having to say "excuse me" 100 times if I burped, or feeling like I needed to spin around 3 times and wash my hands before the toilet stopped filling up. One time I lied about feeling sick to get out of the overwhelming social situation only for the nurse to tell me I had a high fever, that was strange. I was always picked on all the time for being too quiet, which was really strange to me because I thought the the proper behavior of the classroom was to be quiet and listen to the teacher.
Omg this reminds me of when I used to say "are you sure?" And then I'd have to ask "are you sure sure?" I think it was mostly an ocd thing for me but yeah.
Oh yeah and I also used to have to say "cough you" when people coughed because I felt like since you say "bless you" when people sneeze you have to say something when they cough aswell xD
Omg reading this just made me remember how I used to forcefully swallow air so that I could kind of burp through my nose and then I would say excuse me every time. I did this anytime I felt anxious or uncomfortable.
Yes! I had weird things I had to do, like if I cleared my throat once I had to then clear it a bunch of times to a specific tune.
When I was a young girl, I liked to twirl around so that the skirt of my dress would rise up like a tutu. But I had to count my twirls and then turn in the other direction just as many times.
My whole family is 'weird' In our family being weird is a badge of honor. Weird is natural normal is boring :)
I still struggle with naming feelings and not saying that "i feel sick" instead :| it's so hard sometimes I am not even sure if I can name what I feel at all
I still to this day “shred “ twiddle and smooth my hair . I also bite the ends to feel the delicate crunch . The only thing I don’t do anymore that I used to do as a kid was suck the ends of my heir . In cosmetology school my friends would scold me for constantly pulling / shredding my “nervous hair “ . That’s what they called it . I never stopped . I sit funny too . I eat sitting with one leg up and I know it’s not acceptable in public but it doesn’t feel right to sit “normal “ I feel very fidgety if I have to act normal in public .