Denominations Order Coffee
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ค. 2023
- Continued adventures of our favorite denominations!
This time they meet at a coffee shop. What will they order???
#cwac #christiancomedy #churchhumor #christianhumor #churchcomedy #dispensationalism #denominations #coffee #coffeelover #coffeetime
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Your United Methodist persona gets me every time
Somehow I knew you were gonna be here xD
cathobros where we at ?
Low-hanging fruit? Check. Goes several steps farther than the other jokes? Check. Selects another character at random to be the voice of the narrator in condemning them? Check.
Many of the hallmarks of "Christian" "humor" are in the UMC joke, so I can conclude that this is what reprobates call "funny".
Good to see you here, I was wondering what you would think of this.
I'm a United Methodist and no one in my church is like that.
Calvinist: that choice was already selected, so you should have it hot and ready
And it's guaranteed to not perish. ❤️👍
Arminian: you knew what I was gonna pick didn’t you 🙂
@@casenswartz7278 they also think the coffee came from themselves.
Predestination. you say? Just say it!!
As a Lutheran who owns a craft brewery I support your portrayal of Lutherans.
As a non-Lutheran who once met with a bunch of Christian friends in the basement of a college-town Lutheran church and brewed like 8 batches of beer in their kitchen, I also support this view.
Currently enjoying my own homebrewed IPA, ditto.
Based on this video, there should be an upcoming increase in Lutheran congregation membership. Thank you, gentlemen! (#LCMS)
😂👍
@@shamrackle3712Thought crossed my mind. 😂
At a Catholic monastery in the South, I was grabbing for a pitcher of sweet tea. Dinner is eaten in silence. But one of the monks leaned over, and breaking the silence, said, "David, that's the unsweet".
He knew.
I said "thank you Father"
And reached for the sweet tea pitcher.
True story.
Bless him 😂
He saved you that day. Lol
I once literally asked for a coffee with as many espresso shots as the barista was legally allowed to put in it. This 17 year old girl looked at me like a deer in the headlights, while some middle-aged guy working on something else snorted with laughter and said "If I do more than 8, the FDA will close us down. So don't tell anyone I'm giving you 9." Some of the best coffee I've had
😂
I make espresso and fill my 20 oz tumbler. It actually slows down my crazy abnormal heart rate! 🤣👍
Great. You blew it. Now they're getting closed down.
@@tonic-musiclol
D d ts😮 0:00
"As we know caffeine is the Christian drug of choice" 😂
That and alcohol. (Eucharist/Communion)
@@Iliadic Only Catholics, sir! the rest of us get Welch's grape juice.
Me, my mother and aunts can confirm
Unless you are Lutheran.
@lorianguillaume, closer on than you may know. Coptic monks in Ethiopia may well have been the first group coffee consumers, staying awake during chapter prayers.
Let no denomination go un-roasted!
Thank you.
Why didn't Big Eva say "hey man, if you love Jesus, you'll put every kind of syrup and lethal amounts of espresso in your large iced coffee"
Yes! That would have been the perfect way to cap off the big Eva part.
Disappointed no Catholic. We’d probably go straight for a red wine.
No Orthodox either lol
@@thatsnodildo1974We like good, strong, small but mighty Greek/Turkish style coffee... I don't think American coffee houses know how to make that. But we're pre-denominational, anyway, so I don't think we even get invited to these meetings 😂
Irish Catholic would have Irish coffee.
@@katherines.3767Baptist would just make you stand in the corner of shame
There are only Christians here.
You might say the United Methodist was...roasted.
🤣
'Thank you, thank you, i will be here all week. Make sure to tip your servers for their hard work.'--Tyler Curtis, The apostle of comedy
As a Dutch Reformed, we'll be drinking straight black coffee and then go to bed. I think the caffeine lets the theology part of the brain keep working while you sleep, and gives us that _superior theology™️_
Fellow Dutchman here. Add a bit of rum, and we'll be all set...
@@caedmonnoeske3931 here in Australia we prefer port, but I'm with you
Perhaps also as a Dutch Reformed myself, we'd need to read a 3-page form before we drink our black coffee explaining its benefit, symbolism, history, tradition, comparisons to other coffee, and its application.
@@alexvanpelt5119 YES!😂😂
As a Baptist who just drank two coffees and took a nap, I endorse this idea about coffee. I woke up even more Baptist.
As a Southern Baptist I can confirm that down here we drink sweet tea like it's water.
Thick, syrupy water...
it is a shock growing up in the heart of NC BBQ country and moving only as far up as northern VA for a bit. half the places did the sugar packet, and the few that had sweet always assumed you meant unsweet by default if you order "tea" or "iced tea" as if they didn't hear my accent. then you learn to stress the "sweet" in "sweet tea" but they didn't even hear that half the time.
but any further south no one seems to use more than a single tea leaf per 5 gallons. people, it's called sweet tea, not sweet water syrup with a faint hint of tea.
maybe I'm the odd ball, but I have to keep it limited to 2 level cups per gallon max, and use extra bags.
and all of 'em need to get that dirty lemon off my glass it has no business around tea.
/rant off
As a member of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church our Lord established on the Rock of Pope Saint Peter, I take my coffee with extra wine, hold the beans and water. _Ave Maria, gratias plena!_
@MarcillaSmith ha! He should have included that one.
Yep!!
As a Lutheran....nailed it!
🤣
Ditto!!!!
Kegstand: A Lutheran tradition as old as The Reformation
Well, Missouri Synod Lutheran anyway...
@@tetrabromobisphenol Especially LCMS or WELS
As a Lutheran LCMS, I want you to know that the way you portray Lutherans, is hilarious, and fairly accurate.
You know the difference between a Baptist and a Lutheran? The Lutheran will look at you in the liquor store.
@@perilousrange LMAO! Awkward! Which denomination is the one who insists he is only buying it for a friend? ( i think thats the denominations i am)
Fellow LCMS Lutheran here, can confirm the accuracy!
Its that German influence..... 😀
Lutherans would have a Pale Lager. Eastern Orthodox would have a Black Overproof Russian Imperial Stout. Angelitos like a scoop of vanilla ice cream in their Russian Imperial Stout.
I’ve long wanted to do a skit where the Episcopalians show up and someone asks, “You’re *still* a denomination?”
Well, someone has to keep the rest of you in proper wedding and funeral liturgies.
I've asked about that recently but I do see a few Episcopalian churches in town.
@@Lawofimprobability We survive by picking up the deserters from more conservative churches, but that won't last forever. Cradle Episcs are a marginal community.
Ouch! Some areas Episcopalians are growing. I’m not sure if he means English Anglican in these or American Anglican which are two very different things.
@@danielponder690 What's 'growing', though? Most of the members of my local Episc church are ex-Baptists, ex-Presbys. I don't know that that's a win -- because tellingly few of their children remain committed Episcs.
I'll have a beer please.
This is a coffee shop and it's 9AM.
I don't see the problem.
LOVE IT!
The Latter-day Saint would order a milk in a glass to make sure no mistook his beverage for a coffee.
If they did show up they'd be dressed like a secret agent. Trenchcoat, wide brimmed hat pulled down low, dark glasses.... wouldn't want to be seen entering an establishment with the word 'coffee' in it's name. I know some who won't eat coffee cake.
"I've never met someone try so hard to be the antichrist."
This line is gold 😂
As a Presbyterian, you nailed it! We're not arrogant, just superior🙂
That explains why the Presbyterian ministers I met were so frazzled. One guy I met went to Iraq to get away from his congregation.
As a pca presbyterian, i wholeheartedly approve the message of our superior theology
Maybe you should read Thomas Aquinas. ;)
Catholicism….. is better
Also PCA. Spot on 😂
@@answeringadventism john Knox would approve our sentiment
Narcissists are like that.....Leighton Flowers freed me fromyour clutches .....
OPC has entered the chat......
I swear I learn more about the differences between denominations and what they believe from your videos than the denomination websites 😂
As a coffee server at my non-denominational church, I can confirm they like every type of syrup in their coffee.
Yo why the saint in your avatar tho?
@@antoniosstavropoulos6180Saints are God’s warriors.
LOL I can drink all things through Christ who strengthens me. Subscribed! 😂
As a Lutheran who happens to work with family who are also Lutherans that drink upwards of three beers a day, I find this very funny
This one is for the Catholics: Can I get a coffee brewed by the bishop, you see though apostolic succession the bishop can brew the same coffee that the apostles drank and thus we have the one true coffee just like our church.
And there's stuffed added into it that would make one either ill or dead.
@@goosieschmoo8239 Are you a former Catholic? That festering animosity reminds me of some ex-catholics i've met
@@inconnu4961 my grandmother was and God took her out of that false religion. And I'm thankful for that otherwise I'd be a mary-worshipper, works-based salvation promoting roman catholic instead of an actual Christian.
Meanwhile the way to take a baptist fishing and not have them drink your beer is still to take two baptists with you.
As a Lutheran I will have you know that we do in fact drink coffee. Well in our beer. It’s called Coffee Stout..
I was raised a baptist, but after watching this I’m strongly considering becoming a Lutheran
😂 that was incredible. We all get a chance to laugh at ourselves with this one:)
I’ve never seen anyone try so hard to be the antichrist!! 😂
"I would like a beer please."
"Sir...it's 9am."
On. The. Floor. Laughing.
As a Lutheran who currently has alcohol in his system at 5:01pm......I feel so included!
As an ex-SBC (reformed) and now a Presbyterian (PCA) 🤣🤣🤣❤️
I've been going to a Global Methodist church, for what it's worth, and I take my coffee black.
Its so spot on! 🤣even the outfits. The methodist one kills me every time.
I have been known to call unsweet tea “blasphemy in a cup.” 🤷♀️
PCUSA Presbyterian here, and I love these sketches! They always make me think of the few interactions I've had with the PCA and that condescending little smile they always get when they find out I'm the 'other' kind of Presby. For me it always bring an amused smile because we're so much more laid back than they are, but my God do these skits nail the attitude of every PCA member I've ever encountered!
As a barista (yes, chad is my real name), I have had everyone of them as a customer... well, not all at once. Also, while there this no legal limit to how much caffeine you can consume. The recommended amount is around 300 milligrams or 2 cups of coffee in the span of 5 hours, any more you're just accelerating your heart rate and making more bathroom visits than normal.
As for Southern Sweet Tea (as I call it) it's just 3 times the sugar than in regular sweet.
"Did somebody say Anti-Christ" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 EPICCC!!!!
You forgot Latter-Day Saints! "We don't believe in drinking coffee so you'd better get me a strong glass of your richest hot chocolate with overly sugared whipped cream, and I'd better have diabetes by the time I finish drinking it or you did it wrong." 😂
I went through 100+ comments to find the LDS one. Sorely disappointed we weren't used as the punchline 😢
"I'll take a beer, please."
Yep. That's us.
Oh man! This is good. This is your talent!!
The UMC and Big Eva multiplex and mini mall pastors were both spot on. To the T
“ I don’t understand the problem” got me 😂
At seminary we joke that beer is Lutheran lemonade
Forgot Catholic coffee with a shot of Bailey's 😂
Catholic coffee would be served either by a little boy or by all the dead people they pray to.
@@Jerry-er6lq Imagine thinking that purgatory is real which would insinuate that Christ's death on the cross wasn't finished and that you'd have to work off sins after death, that Mary is somehow queen of heaven and co-redeemer/co-dispenser of grace, that mass and church membership is a means to salvation, that works save us, and that the pope is the representative and mouth piece of God...
Only someone who isn't a Christian thinks those things are true. Aka a Roman Catholic.
@@Jerry-er6lq imagine reading ephesians 2:8-9 and claiming your good boy points and good girl points will get you into heaven.
@@Jerry-er6lq if they believed everything in the bible then they'd stop praying to the dead, stop promoting a works-based salvation, stop viewing Mary as queen of heaven and having the ability to diviy out grace and salvation, stop treating dead created beings as mediators between us and Christ, stop promoting purgatory, stop promoting tye treasury if merit, stop treating the pope as the representative and mouthpiece of Christ, etc etc.
@@goosieschmoo8239 Please dontrankle the chains of the poor Catholics. Life is hard enough for them as it is!
As a Lutheran, I can vouch that we have great coffee hours. I think it's the Swedish part of us.
I go to a German origin Lutheran church, our coffee hour only reliably has powdered creamer and runs out of coffee often. The good part is that there is no "suggested" donation and maintenance costs of cheap.
As a Latter-day Saint, this doesn’t compute.
Thank you Keith for once again uniting all of us through your humor ❤️
One hot chocolate, heavy on the cream, don’t forget the sprinkles.
-Me and the other folks at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
My wife laughs at your takes on Methodist and Big EVA. Spot on
That was funny! Thank you for making me smile. Been angry and frustrated all day because of work. I now can sleep with some light-heartedness.
I’m Reformed and go to a Southern Baptist church (was raised Southern Baptist), although I have gone to an Orthodox Presb church as well. This is is so true- although I like my coffee with oatmilk because straight black and milk hurt my stomach. I do enjoy a sweet tea as well now and again!
I'm also a Southern Baptist. I was raised in SBC churches, but I was invited to a historic (now PCA) Presbyterian Church and found myself there for three years. I learned a lot about the sovereignty of God that was just not taught us in SBC churches. We were not taught contrary theology, just not taught the fullness of grace and sovereignty. From reading your post, I know we share the same concerns. I get strange looks at my little country church when I mention the name John Calvin, yet we all love hearing Dr.'s Voddie Bauchum and John MacArthur preach. We're a truly conflicted lot, and we're mostly Calvinist except in name. Arminianism just doesn't work.
I am already diabetic, so I'll have to have sweet & low if I drink tea...I'll just have the black coffee.
AS a Catholic I'm onboard with both the Presby and the Luthrean. "I want my coffee black and caffinated or I'll take a good breakfast stout please"
Orthodox: double latte whole milk… wait, dang it’s Friday. Nvm drip with a drip of honey in it.
I will say that the first place I saw honey in coffee was at an OCA church.
I’m friends with the 6 Beans owners and it’s all we drink, seriously so good! They’re solid Christian folks who are putting out phenomenal coffee ☕️
Keith you rock for promoting them like this, Christians supporting Christian businesses is so important in these days!
So great love it, thanks for the laughs sir.
I love these videos so much.
these videos are like good sweet tea, can't have just one.
I grew up in the United Methodist Church.... and YOU SIR....... are spot-on! 😆
I absolutely love you dude! In the right God fearing way of course!!! You made me laugh so hard with this one! Please don't stop sending these out into the world, we all need the smile...thank you so much..your church has to be too cool!
Im just a regular dude scrolling TH-cam not religious in any way but I find your content hilarious in a wholesome way you sir done earned yourself a subscriber💯♥️
'Ive never seen someone try so hard to be the anti christ.' that had me laughing to hard.
I'm glad to see you Protestants have a sense of humor about each other. To funny.
This is priceless! Thank you
This was amazing! Obvioulsy, sending to my church people!
You forgot Mormons
“I’m good, thanks”
This is some of the best comedy out there. I love it...i love all of your sketches. Keep it up. God bless.
DUDE Clean comedy is always best! Well done
So awesome!!!! Thx for sharing
Yeah if that's how you describe the coffee order of a UMC member, can't imagine how you would describe a coffee order for a UCC member like myself.
😂😂😂😂 Atlantic Baptist here (Canada). We love our coffee. In fact, we have a coffee bar set up in the lobby before church every Sunday 😂
Always brilliant!
As a Dispensationalist, I can tell you that we have something slightly different in our coffee every day. But it's still all coffee.
As a Presbyterian... you are correct, sir. 😂
The Non-Denom one got me, because he said what i realized about a month ago, "Coffee is the christian's drug of choice."
Now we know the REAL reason why Quakers quaked!
I really enjoy the content you put out. You make me laugh out loud! Thanks
This was awesome!
Ok - this was spot on! : )
I know it's off the subject, but adding sugar packets to cold unsweet tea doesn't give you sweet tea. It gives you cold unsweet tea with sugar at the very bottom. Never suggest that the two are the same thing.
This was funny! Thanks for entertaining me! God Bless!
Superior theology is where it's at! 🤣🤣🤣💜🙏✝️
Good one! Thanks for a grin with my morning cup!
You need to do more denominations. Great stuff
"I'm talking about BBQ restaurant sweet" oh yeah baby, Sonny's rules.
You are 💯 PRICELESS!!!
Watching this as I am making iced coffee. I love my Cafe Bustelo without milk nor sugar.
I'll take some of that Cafe Bustelo, but in a Moka pot, with sugar whipped in, Cuban style!
The Presbyterian gent with the cigar had it all figured out.
Absolutely hilarious 😂
Great Keith, well done sir
6beans has the best coffee ever. Seriously- order yours now!
As a Southern Baptist I can confirm this is how we order coffee.
I love how realistic the Baptist is. As a Southern Baptist, I can confirm all my dad orders at restaurants is sweet tea, and his favorite is from BBQ places. But that could just be because of the brisket and burnt ends.
Tell us you're from Texas without telling us you're from Texas.
“Coffee should be crunchy with the piquant aftertaste of motor oil” -Swedish Baptist
As a Southern Baptist who learned the doctrines of grace while attending the PCA Presbyterian Church my Scottish Great Great Grandfather (he was murdered by yankee carpetbaggers, btw) was a member of, I'll gladly enjoy a cup of leaven free black coffee and theology with you.
Us Latter-Day Saints / Mormons will take hot chocolate instead please lol
This was a blessing. 😂Thank you
No wonder the Ethiopian monasteries banned coffee after accidentally inventing it.
Superior Theology - ha ha, haha haha ha. HA HA HA HA. gets me every time
Dang, need to do orthodox and Catholic too. The Monestary I go to makes coffee
Bahahahaha this is great. Love the sense of humor. And yea pretty much nailed it 😂
The southern Baptist one is soooo accurate 😂 my life lol