Yes! This is what I wish more women would realize. When it comes to doctors and exams women feel like they have no choice. Like they have to do everything the doctor says. Because doctors make them feel like they have no choice. And it’s a huge flaw in the medical field. Doctors feel like they have the right to violate a women’s body just because they’re a doctor.
Yes! So glad others see this. Pregnant now and there’s no “recommended” about it! I told the midwife that due to some trauma I do not want to participate in a cervical exam. Her answer? “I’ll decide a little later if you need one.” Like I’d never even asserted my refusal.
I wish I had seen this video before my first birth! The nurse doing my cervical checks was definitely rough, and seemed uncaring so that definitely left me with post birth trauma. Praying for my redemption birth story this go round. ❤️
This has been the best video for me because at this point I understood that cervical checks before labor are totally optional, but what i was scared of were the checks at hospital admittance/triage and during labor. Thank you!
Thank you so much! I've been so nervous about cervical exams because of past trauma and my previous birth they did one without my consent during a very painful contraction. This helps me to feel more informed so I can speak with my doctor about my preferences!
I just wanted to thank you for all of your videos. I had a baby 3 weeks ago and your videos helped me and my husband SO MUCH throughout the whole thing and really helped us advocate for ourselves and I got pretty much my dream delivery! ❤️🙏🏼
In the U.K. they do seem to be used as the main indicator at triage as to whether you are “allowed” into the birth centre/ward. With my third it was so uncomfortable having to clamber onto a bed and sit like that as my contractions were back to back. Baby was born 37 mins after I was 6cm and permitted to settle into my room… fourth is due soon and planning a second homebirth - saying no to VEs this time!
Had my 37 weeks appointment yesterday and doctor told me she'd like to do a vaginal exam next week. I refused. She was surprised but okay with it. I generally find vaginal exams very very uncomfortable and planning to refuse all of them during labour as long as I stay low risk 🙏 It's so important for women to know that they can refuse these exams, even when you attend a regular appointment like I did yesterday, without being in labour.
They’re telling me I’m going to have one later on to make sure they baby is dropping into the cervix but the baby is vertex and I can feel her dropping into my pelvis everyday at 33 weeks so I’ll tell them it’s not necessary. I will need to get the group b strep culture down because it’s extremely important but otherwise no I hate any kind of vaginal/cervical exams
I had a homebirth with my first child 2 years ago and am pregnant again and planning another homebirth. Im in the uk so things are a bit different here. I had 2 midwifes attend who were absolute angels and listened to exactly what I wanted. I did a lot of research before hand and knew what I generally wanted, although kept quite a flexible mindset going into labour. I had no drugs, no cervical checks, intermittent heart rate monitoring (which I could decline any time without pushback) Basically just gave birth like a cow in a field 😂 I cant believe how many women think they HAVE to do whatever the doctor/nurse tells them and dont realise they are completely in charge. You can take medical advice into consideration and still decide to make a different choice and that is completely valid.
Excellent video 👏🏿! I just did a seminar with EBB as a doula and it was recommended no more than 4 cervical checks during labor! I definitely had more of those during my labors with my children. So grateful for this knowledge 🙏🏿!
I got my first ever cervical exam done 10/30/22, I never recovered. Yesterday 11/24/22 Thanksgiving day, I thought I was going into labor so me and my partner drove up to the Labor and Delivery department at our nearest hospital. When we got there they told me I HAD to get a cervix exam done just so they could see how far I was dilated, the nurse proceeded to complete the exam. It was very painful due to the fact that I never recovered from the first one I got done (the nurse that performed that 1st cervix exam on me was super rough btw). Going back to 11/24/22 after I got to the hospital and got checked we were told I was 8cm dilated, my due date is December 8th but due to my contractions being so close in time and lasting 5+ minutes we didn’t question it and we were just super excited because we thought we were going to be having our baby boy sooner than what we expected. I get moved to another room where I would be delivering my baby, I filled out paperwork, got poked 3 times to get an IV going (first 2 times the nurse wasn’t successful finding my veins), I get blood taken for some blood work and just in case I needed a blood transfusion if something were to happen, and most importantly I have the excitement and joy of thinking my baby would be with us soon. After all of those things are done i’m still having contractions pretty close in time but I could barely feel them because of how excited I was I guess the adrenaline helped, a doctor comes in the room along with the nurse that had performed that cervix exam on 10/30/22 (I immediately recognized her but I kept my cool and didn’t say anything to her or the doctor) and the doctor tells me that they want to check me again just to see if I dilated even more and to see if I was ready to push. I let the doctor perform the cervix exam (extremely painful) and once she’s done I could tell by the look on her face that something was wrong, she said “you’re actually only 3cm dilated…”. Everything stopped and I felt so disappointed and angry but I kept my composure because I don’t want to stress and possibly harm my baby or just go through any complications. Long story short they brought in a birthing ball and let me do some movements to see if that helped speed up the process so I did along with my partners support, after doing that for about 1 hour and 30 minutes the doctor came back and she proceeded to check me again. This last check was HORRIBLE (it hurt worst than the 1st one I got done on 10/30/22) after she was done we found out I was ALMOST 4cm dilated but not quite, we got sent home. Coming across this video really helped me realize and understand that I have a voice and I have a say in what happens to my body during these times and I’m glad that I will be able to live through this part of my life without anymore traumatic experiences.
I also forgot to mention that I am a first time mom and I don’t necessarily have that support a young mom should have such as her mother or any motherly figure so that’s also part of the reason why I’m not so educated about these things and I really wish I was because there’s plenty of stuff I had to deal with in the beginning of my pregnancy that just weren’t the best. I am thankful for my mother in law and many other women who I met recently that have supported me through these last few days but sadly it wasn’t soon enough but I’m still super grateful for all of them.
What are good questions to ask a provider so you can tell if they are a good fit? I didn't have a good experience with my most recent provider, and still want to have another baby, but the process of finding a new provider feels so big.
Also waiting for mine to arrive. Just shows you that the information provided from these checks don’t really tell us much in terms of projecting into the future.
I always hear the same thing when asking if it’s necessary it’s always “you can say no, just understand why they want you to do it” but the biggest and only thing I wanna know is will I and baby be safe and risk free just because I didn’t get one… like is it detrimental to my health in those upcoming up moments of labor?…
The only thing I can possible think of, is when baby is starting to crown, perhaps a gentle and quick peek to make sure the cord isn’t around baby’s neck. But that’s not a vaginal exam, that should be witnessable just from putting your eyes down there. Maybe the 1 finger sweep at most. That’s what I was taught to do as an EMT, if mom is delivering in my care. Just right as the head is coming out, to pass one finger along the front of baby’s neck, sweep it around to the shoulder ish. And if I felt a cord, to return my finger to the esophagus area of baby’s neck, and just keep my finger there while she finishes getting baby out naturally. It just keeps the pressure off baby’s blood supply and airway, and theoretically prevents the cord from a hard kink as well. I’m not a midwife or anything though, but that’s just the only possibly necessary check I can think of
I was told that mine would if I refused for admittance to the hospital for my first birth. All the providers for the hospital I wanted to deliver at got together to agree that I needed one.
Hi Bridget, I'm interested in your course but I'd like some more information about what videos are included. How do they differ from the content on your channel? The website is quite broad... Would you consider sharinf the course content outline or doing a video showing it?
This makes me question my first birth so much. I was told by a midwife I was 6cm, the male OB came in to check me and it was the most horrible, painful experience and I felt like he was up there for awhile and he said “you’re at a 3” my midwife comes in and asks to check again and said “no you’re at a 6” I didn’t see that OB for the rest of the shift. Now I’m mad and frustrated that he probably took advantage of me and my laboring body and my baby. This was 3.5 years ago and I can’t do anything now and i wish I knew more to say something.
That is so sad. He definitely assaulted you. And unfortunately many women are taken advantage of by doctors especially male doctors in the field of gynecology. And so many women are afraid to speak up and say no to exams because doctors make us feel like we have no choice. And this stigma in our society that says you have to do everything your doctor tells you to. Well Just because he’s a doctor doesn’t mean he gets a free pass to violate your body.
And if you feel like he did something inappropriate, like stay inside you for too long, you can absolutely still say something. Even though it’s been 3 years, Just saying something about it might make that doctor think twice about how he does those exams.
My water broke during a cervical exam . Another risk to be aware of . I wonder if she swept my membranes while checking me. Has anyone else had this happen to them during labor ?
My midwife says if that is the case, it was likely about to happen soon anyway. If the water wasn’t about to break, it would take quite a bit of effort to achieve.
You can refuse anything, it's your body. You can choose to wait until after delivery at the 6 week check up and do it then instead, if it makes you more comfortable.
I refused a pap smear. I said I'll wait until after I'm pregnant. I held my ground and even if they just would have scheduled it I wouldn't have shown up.
I know this is an old question, but first off, no they are not required. Your body, your choice, every time. However... the pap smear is used by some providers to determine if you have gonoreah/chlamydia which both are recommended to be treateded with eurythromycin eye ointment for your newborn and you will be recommened to be treated for during pregnancy to help prevent harm to your baby's eyes. If you feel like you have a relationship with a partner that only engages in safe sex with you, then it's really up to you. However, if you have any reason to doubt or suspect, you may want to get a pap smear or ask for an alternative test for those STIs so you can make further informed decisions for yourself and your baby.
I also refused the Pap smear. My provider was very supportive and said you absolutely do not have to have it and that it’s my body and my right to refuse. I was tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea via a urine test.
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
You are allowed to refuse anything and everything. It’s your body. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean there is any loss of autonomy.
Yes! This is what I wish more women would realize. When it comes to doctors and exams women feel like they have no choice. Like they have to do everything the doctor says. Because doctors make them feel like they have no choice. And it’s a huge flaw in the medical field. Doctors feel like they have the right to violate a women’s body just because they’re a doctor.
@@chandleralice yes! And they speak either demanding-ly or just matter of fact-ly. And treat you like a crazy when you reject their BS.
Yes! So glad others see this. Pregnant now and there’s no “recommended” about it! I told the midwife that due to some trauma I do not want to participate in a cervical exam. Her answer? “I’ll decide a little later if you need one.” Like I’d never even asserted my refusal.
I wish I had seen this video before my first birth! The nurse doing my cervical checks was definitely rough, and seemed uncaring so that definitely left me with post birth trauma. Praying for my redemption birth story this go round. ❤️
I felt so mislead by my midwife and OB about cervical checks. Everybody acted like it was normal but it was more painful than 24 hours of contractions
This has been the best video for me because at this point I understood that cervical checks before labor are totally optional, but what i was scared of were the checks at hospital admittance/triage and during labor. Thank you!
I never had sexual trauma but I have an extreme fear of them and my whole body tightens up which causes actual discomfort or even pain
Thank you so much! I've been so nervous about cervical exams because of past trauma and my previous birth they did one without my consent during a very painful contraction. This helps me to feel more informed so I can speak with my doctor about my preferences!
I just wanted to thank you for all of your videos. I had a baby 3 weeks ago and your videos helped me and my husband SO MUCH throughout the whole thing and really helped us advocate for ourselves and I got pretty much my dream delivery! ❤️🙏🏼
In the U.K. they do seem to be used as the main indicator at triage as to whether you are “allowed” into the birth centre/ward. With my third it was so uncomfortable having to clamber onto a bed and sit like that as my contractions were back to back. Baby was born 37 mins after I was 6cm and permitted to settle into my room… fourth is due soon and planning a second homebirth - saying no to VEs this time!
Had my 37 weeks appointment yesterday and doctor told me she'd like to do a vaginal exam next week. I refused. She was surprised but okay with it. I generally find vaginal exams very very uncomfortable and planning to refuse all of them during labour as long as I stay low risk 🙏 It's so important for women to know that they can refuse these exams, even when you attend a regular appointment like I did yesterday, without being in labour.
They’re telling me I’m going to have one later on to make sure they baby is dropping into the cervix but the baby is vertex and I can feel her dropping into my pelvis everyday at 33 weeks so I’ll tell them it’s not necessary. I will need to get the group b strep culture down because it’s extremely important but otherwise no I hate any kind of vaginal/cervical exams
I found the cervical check more frustrating, distressing and uncomfortable than my labour itself
I had a homebirth with my first child 2 years ago and am pregnant again and planning another homebirth. Im in the uk so things are a bit different here. I had 2 midwifes attend who were absolute angels and listened to exactly what I wanted. I did a lot of research before hand and knew what I generally wanted, although kept quite a flexible mindset going into labour. I had no drugs, no cervical checks, intermittent heart rate monitoring (which I could decline any time without pushback) Basically just gave birth like a cow in a field 😂 I cant believe how many women think they HAVE to do whatever the doctor/nurse tells them and dont realise they are completely in charge. You can take medical advice into consideration and still decide to make a different choice and that is completely valid.
Excellent video 👏🏿! I just did a seminar with EBB as a doula and it was recommended no more than 4 cervical checks during labor! I definitely had more of those during my labors with my children. So grateful for this knowledge 🙏🏿!
I got my first ever cervical exam done 10/30/22, I never recovered. Yesterday 11/24/22 Thanksgiving day, I thought I was going into labor so me and my partner drove up to the Labor and Delivery department at our nearest hospital. When we got there they told me I HAD to get a cervix exam done just so they could see how far I was dilated, the nurse proceeded to complete the exam. It was very painful due to the fact that I never recovered from the first one I got done (the nurse that performed that 1st cervix exam on me was super rough btw). Going back to 11/24/22 after I got to the hospital and got checked we were told I was 8cm dilated, my due date is December 8th but due to my contractions being so close in time and lasting 5+ minutes we didn’t question it and we were just super excited because we thought we were going to be having our baby boy sooner than what we expected. I get moved to another room where I would be delivering my baby, I filled out paperwork, got poked 3 times to get an IV going (first 2 times the nurse wasn’t successful finding my veins), I get blood taken for some blood work and just in case I needed a blood transfusion if something were to happen, and most importantly I have the excitement and joy of thinking my baby would be with us soon. After all of those things are done i’m still having contractions pretty close in time but I could barely feel them because of how excited I was I guess the adrenaline helped, a doctor comes in the room along with the nurse that had performed that cervix exam on 10/30/22 (I immediately recognized her but I kept my cool and didn’t say anything to her or the doctor) and the doctor tells me that they want to check me again just to see if I dilated even more and to see if I was ready to push. I let the doctor perform the cervix exam (extremely painful) and once she’s done I could tell by the look on her face that something was wrong, she said “you’re actually only 3cm dilated…”. Everything stopped and I felt so disappointed and angry but I kept my composure because I don’t want to stress and possibly harm my baby or just go through any complications. Long story short they brought in a birthing ball and let me do some movements to see if that helped speed up the process so I did along with my partners support, after doing that for about 1 hour and 30 minutes the doctor came back and she proceeded to check me again. This last check was HORRIBLE (it hurt worst than the 1st one I got done on 10/30/22) after she was done we found out I was ALMOST 4cm dilated but not quite, we got sent home. Coming across this video really helped me realize and understand that I have a voice and I have a say in what happens to my body during these times and I’m glad that I will be able to live through this part of my life without anymore traumatic experiences.
I also forgot to mention that I am a first time mom and I don’t necessarily have that support a young mom should have such as her mother or any motherly figure so that’s also part of the reason why I’m not so educated about these things and I really wish I was because there’s plenty of stuff I had to deal with in the beginning of my pregnancy that just weren’t the best. I am thankful for my mother in law and many other women who I met recently that have supported me through these last few days but sadly it wasn’t soon enough but I’m still super grateful for all of them.
What are good questions to ask a provider so you can tell if they are a good fit? I didn't have a good experience with my most recent provider, and still want to have another baby, but the process of finding a new provider feels so big.
Same here sis. :-/
They are painful, which I didn’t expect…no one told me
You always have such wonderful advice for new parents ❤️
Watching 2 weeks after my doctor telling me that I'm 2 cm and 90% effaced and I'm going to have my baby in one or two days... Still pregnant though
Aww sorry momma, I know it can be frustrating. (I had my 3rd a month ago, and went a couple of weeks with everyone asking ‘STILL pregnant?!!’-😫)
Also waiting for mine to arrive. Just shows you that the information provided from these checks don’t really tell us much in terms of projecting into the future.
Is your ig account still active, the link says it is removed or broken, something like that
Very empowering video! Thank you!
I always hear the same thing when asking if it’s necessary it’s always “you can say no, just understand why they want you to do it” but the biggest and only thing I wanna know is will I and baby be safe and risk free just because I didn’t get one… like is it detrimental to my health in those upcoming up moments of labor?…
The only thing I can possible think of, is when baby is starting to crown, perhaps a gentle and quick peek to make sure the cord isn’t around baby’s neck. But that’s not a vaginal exam, that should be witnessable just from putting your eyes down there. Maybe the 1 finger sweep at most. That’s what I was taught to do as an EMT, if mom is delivering in my care. Just right as the head is coming out, to pass one finger along the front of baby’s neck, sweep it around to the shoulder ish. And if I felt a cord, to return my finger to the esophagus area of baby’s neck, and just keep my finger there while she finishes getting baby out naturally. It just keeps the pressure off baby’s blood supply and airway, and theoretically prevents the cord from a hard kink as well.
I’m not a midwife or anything though, but that’s just the only possibly necessary check I can think of
Eye-opener, thank you Bridget!!☺
Can a provider decline to provide service if I refuse the exam?
Sounds like discrimination for your beliefs. I would pursue speaking to the Managment on that basis. But still wouldn’t go see them ever again.
I was told that mine would if I refused for admittance to the hospital for my first birth. All the providers for the hospital I wanted to deliver at got together to agree that I needed one.
If am having a unassisted home birth can my husband do a cervical exam for me?
Hi Bridget, I'm interested in your course but I'd like some more information about what videos are included. How do they differ from the content on your channel? The website is quite broad... Would you consider sharinf the course content outline or doing a video showing it?
Also would this course replace the need for hypnobirthing?
This makes me question my first birth so much. I was told by a midwife I was 6cm, the male OB came in to check me and it was the most horrible, painful experience and I felt like he was up there for awhile and he said “you’re at a 3” my midwife comes in and asks to check again and said “no you’re at a 6” I didn’t see that OB for the rest of the shift. Now I’m mad and frustrated that he probably took advantage of me and my laboring body and my baby. This was 3.5 years ago and I can’t do anything now and i wish I knew more to say something.
I’ve been told each person checking can come up with different measurements because everyone has different sized fingers.
That's horrible..trust your gut.
It was the same person with the same fingers who changed his stance from 3 cm to 6 cm when he was confronted.
That is so sad. He definitely assaulted you. And unfortunately many women are taken advantage of by doctors especially male doctors in the field of gynecology. And so many women are afraid to speak up and say no to exams because doctors make us feel like we have no choice. And this stigma in our society that says you have to do everything your doctor tells you to. Well Just because he’s a doctor doesn’t mean he gets a free pass to violate your body.
And if you feel like he did something inappropriate, like stay inside you for too long, you can absolutely still say something. Even though it’s been 3 years, Just saying something about it might make that doctor think twice about how he does those exams.
What happened to your Instagram? I have been looking for you and can’t find you
My water broke during a cervical exam . Another risk to be aware of . I wonder if she swept my membranes while checking me. Has anyone else had this happen to them during labor ?
My midwife says if that is the case, it was likely about to happen soon anyway. If the water wasn’t about to break, it would take quite a bit of effort to achieve.
It happened to me during admittance to the hospital and caused me a 39+ hour labor then an unplanned c-section with my first.
They checked me during labor and broke my water without telling me
Hate them 😡 they hurt like hell
Not sure if you know the answer to this, but what about pap smears during pregnancy? Is it necessary/ recommended? Can you refuse?
You can refuse anything, it's your body. You can choose to wait until after delivery at the 6 week check up and do it then instead, if it makes you more comfortable.
I refused a pap smear. I said I'll wait until after I'm pregnant. I held my ground and even if they just would have scheduled it I wouldn't have shown up.
I know this is an old question, but first off, no they are not required. Your body, your choice, every time. However... the pap smear is used by some providers to determine if you have gonoreah/chlamydia which both are recommended to be treateded with eurythromycin eye ointment for your newborn and you will be recommened to be treated for during pregnancy to help prevent harm to your baby's eyes. If you feel like you have a relationship with a partner that only engages in safe sex with you, then it's really up to you. However, if you have any reason to doubt or suspect, you may want to get a pap smear or ask for an alternative test for those STIs so you can make further informed decisions for yourself and your baby.
I also refused the Pap smear. My provider was very supportive and said you absolutely do not have to have it and that it’s my body and my right to refuse.
I was tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea via a urine test.
Sometimes they really hurt.
Fancy meeting you here sister. It HURT for me. And the doc looked at me like I was being overdramatic. UNkind species.
💯
Also I am told that if you refuse it they will refuse you medical attention…
This isn't legal, they cannot refuse you medical care and if this happens, threaten legal actions and start filming the interaction immediately
Can you be my doctor? 😂