Many behavioural problems occur in infants and young children when society does not allow the mother to nurture her child. Our greed-driven society and the media tell families the mother has a responsibility to her employer and must return to work with total disregard for the infant's need to be in physical contact and to be nurtured by his/her mother. Mothers forced to return too early to work disregard the stress signals their child gives them. The mother returns home tired and stressed, and the infant/child recognizes this state and tunes into this creating more difficulties for the child. The last generation of mothers fought for parental leave so the child could then begin separation at the start of kindergarten which was invented to offer additional safe surroundings for the child at that stage of development when the child shows interest to interact with and play with other children from around age three +. What happened? Why have governments initiated mainstream media selling of the image of the professional superwoman? Demanding mothers place their infants for long hours in outsourced care with staff who have no emotional investment in the development and care of the infant five days a week. This takes place without prior investigation, a real understanding of the infant`s needs. Behavioural difficulties, anxiety, and a lack of self-regulation are observable in many children who were too soon removed from their mother's care. Is collecting taxes from these women so important right now? Mental health has higher costs in the years that follow. The mother-infant relationship after birth and prioritising your child`s care under age three matters.
@haley2542 I had to work with both my kids. My husband lost his job shortly after I went back to work with my first and so we decided he should stay home and get another degree while watching our baby. And then the second one followed 3.5 years later and that was also joint effort and by then I worked from home from time to time. Plus pandemic happened, so my second also never went to daycare until she was like 2.5 I think. Both girls transitioned very well into daycare. No crying or complaints. We were fortunate. But personally, having to be forced to go back to work after my first one was very hard. When second came, I actually wanted to return to work bc the environment at home in general was already exhaustive.
I had to go back to work after 4 months post partum. My son definitely became closer to everyone around him except me. My employer started demanding more time from me (choosing to keep the temp they hired instead of letting her go so they could make us compete for the same job) I was in tears going to work in that environment. My son's father was not very supportive and reiterated that he couldn't support us all financially. I so regret not prioritizing my baby and telling his dad to deal with it and to take an extra job. Cut to 16 years later... I'm in a happier, loving relationship and pregnant with my 2nd miracle baby (I'm now 43). I was laid off a month before getting pregnant and my partner supports me being a stay at home mom and getting the education I never had a chance to get earlier in life. My firstborn will be 16 next month and we are closer than ever. Becoming a single mom with him was the best thing ever for our mother -son bond. I hope to God I can have that special bond with my little baby to be, this one will be born of a better love and family.
I’m thankful my man is doing everything he can to make this process as “easy” and stress free as possible and I appreciate it so much ❤️ we’ve been trying for awhile and it still feels unreal but I’ve been wanting to be a mama for decades and this baby is finally here 🥹❤️❤️
This is for you, pregnant amazing women reading this: Your baby is stronger than you think. This video encourages fear, emotional invalidation and anxiety. True facts: life is hard. Life has beauty. Life is tough. And so your baby is! I know many women that even though they suffered depression and anxiety, they developed healthy happy babies in their wombs and later out. So dont worry too much about your emotions, because emotions are part of the life and i am sure that you can be stressed and still feel nice moments too when eating an icecream, talk to a loved one or watch a comedy show. It is normal to feel so so bad sometimes due to hormones through pregnancy! Everything can be the worst suddenly and i dont think God desing was so terrible. Everything has its reasons. Also your inmune system is at its lowest so you can keep the baby in. This affects emotions too. So you will feel all the emotions in your pregnancy!and your baby will still be safe. All you need is to feel it normal and part of the life itself, because someday, your baby will also feel ALL emotions and you will validate all of them with your support and love. I send you all mine❤.
During my second pregnancy in 2022 I lost my job 5 months before getting pregnant. I slept through most of my pregnancy. I was always tired! But sleep is what made me feel like I could make it through the day. I had zero stress. A very happy marriage. There was a time though from September-December (she was born 12/20/22) that was a emotional because my sons biological father passed away. But I gave myself time to cry and then I would stop and shift my focus. When My daughter was born she was and still is an excellent sleeper. She’s happy ALL THE TIME! She LOVES children. She’s super friendly and so lovable. She’s smart, she met every single milestone on point! I often wonder if it’s because of her DNA or if it’s because I had such and amazing pregnancy! I had no sickness and gained about 10-13 pounds. But she’s an excellent little baby. I’m amazed. She would sleep 10-12 hours. We have a routine at home and she sticks to it! I just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant so I’ll see how the next baby is.
All G. Too many missing links in the information for it to be accurate. Information like this takes power away from people. They want a depressed and weak society to rely on the system. More depressed people more money for the system and easier to control a populous when people can’t think for them self. Watching this is making people depressed and probably effecting mothers while questioning their life.
The first 3 years after birth matter to not just the first 9 months of pregnancy. I experienced some stress while pregnant. I gave birth to my daughter, she hardly ever slept, wanted to be held constantly, walked around and shushed for hours and hours. She couldn’t eat a bottle if she was to upset which was over nothing, she just seemed to over react to everything. I guess you would say she was high needs because she always had to be help upright standing and walking. I also had extra help from family so I relied on them to help out babysitting while I slept. We practiced alot of putting her in and out of the crib so she would get used to that. When she was 6 months she was supposed to be sleeping more through the night but she was getting up 3 times every night for bottles or she would be up all night. Doctor said let her just cry herself to sleep but I never did it. I never followed a strict schedule with bottles or sleeping it was just whenever she wanted or needed them. At 9 months she was still getting up for bottles but it was only once or twice and doctor said that I must let her CIO at night and she can go without bottles, I never did it. Never wanted her to cry endlessly. I couldn’t trust her going to the church nursery once a week for the longest time cause she was so high needs! When she got a little older she could only go in for 45 minutes with the other kids even though church is like an hour and a half. But rn she is almost a year old. She’s so sweet now, she’s happy every morning when she wakes up, she loves hugs, she is obsessed with reading books, she seems more independent then what she was as a baby. She is very dramatic over diaper changes, going in her car seat, putting clothes on. But I think it’s just part of being a toddler. She still wants to be held and carried around before she goes down for a nap or bedtime and yes it kills my back but I love her. We also do the swing outside and car rides for naps or walks. She loves people, she likes to be busy, likes to be outside, so we do alot of that, I still haven’t put her in a daycare yet or have gone back to work cause I don’t think she’s ready for being in an environment with other kids all day in pretty much the same rooms. We’re making lots of progress and she’s only 11 months and I’m so proud of how far we’ve come!!!! Update: Shes 2 and a half and the sweetest thing ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. My 3rd baby barely sleeps, always wants to be held, and it's a stark difference to my 1st two, easy going babies. Everyone says he's spoiled, let him cry it out. He's 6mo now and my doc told me to stop nursing him through the night. I, like you, am ignoring that advice. I know this baby just needs me a bit more than his siblings did and I will continue to nurse him, babywear, and hold him. He's our last baby, so while I'm exhausted, I know this is just a season and won't last forever. I'm really sad I can't stay home with him and have to work. That's even more reason to keep him close while we are together.
This was very similar to my experience with my youngest son. I just catered to his every need more or less. Would never dream of letting him cry it out. That teaches the child that you don’t care about them. He’s 12 now, completely chill, selfless, intelligent and very responsible. No one believes me when I tell them he was a difficult baby. Always trust your instincts as the mother.
Great so, on top of having suffered debilitating prenatal depression and anxiety, I get to feel guilty about having messed up my child forever. Awesome.
"The first 1000 Days" (includes gestations), by Dr. Allan Schore is a masterpiece which explains much, including the content herein. Highly recommend. It's a remarkable period, and our lack of understanding of it explains much of what we are seeing in terms of "mental illness". Emotional Dysregulation, caused during this important period, for many, is a lifelong, undiscussed, underlying problem.
@@findAplaceToCallHome Hi. Looks like YT cleaned house on the title, but if you look for his name, along with "Critical early development", it brings up a few. I did find the aforementioned subtitle on at least one (1:51:00 in length), but not as "The Title." It's here, but not quite as simple as it once was to find. Enjoy and good luck.
The pressure this puts on mothers-to-be on top of all other worries and the beginning transition towards being a parent.... When my wife was 25 weeks pregnant with my second son, our eldest daughter became so ill we were being told we might lose her. 2 weeks of intensive care and 5 weeks of hospital, and my wife has never, ever been in a comparable panic mode throughout her whole life. Now. There are studies that seem to suggest that a fetus that has been exposed to significant maternal stress in the womb during pregnancy weeks 25 to 28 have a significantly higher risk of developing autism. My wife was severely stressed from week 25 to week 32. And, indeed, my second son has autism. Could be coincidence, and if not, very likely the stress my wife experienced during the crucial pregnancy weeks was only one of several contributing factors (she was also exposed to high environmental pollution during pregnancy weeks 24 to 26 - nile cruise in Egypt with diesel fumes in our cabines so bad that it made her throw up in the middle of the night so we spent our nights 'sleeping' on deck -, and there is also one case of autism in my extended family). Anyhow, as you might imagine, she is blaming herself really badly in those moments when it's hard to focus only on going forwards and keeping in mind that what is done is done and no struggling with past decisions can make these undone. My wife feels very guilty for not having been able to stress less, and for that she 'gave our son autism' because she was too weak when our daughter was on dialysis in intensive care, with sepsis and water on heart and lungs. Podcasts like this are such a massive opportunity for women who are not experiencing massive external stress during pregnancy that they can't avoid to influence their child's very early life to the better. But a podcast like this is also a bit of another slap into the face of women who did face huge amounts of stress during pregnancy that they couldn't avoid, and whose children are facing issues that other children don't.
It would be hard to divorce inevitable hardships of stress from the idea other hardships can be self-caused (ie. Keeping bad friends around or taking too hard a work load when you don’t need to). She has nothing to blame herself over. It was inevitable. I hope you find good support groups.
That should really not be a slap in womans face at all. I think it is a bit of a slap into the face of people who think it is not neccery to support pregnat woman as a sociteiy (bc there are clear problems reasulting from that in-action) not a slap at any given woman. Being worried is not unresonable. Exprienicng stress is not bad or a fault.
I would so much rather have this information. The truth can be harmful to some individuals, and I'm so heartbroken for your wife and the guilt she doesn't deserve to feel, but it's always better to have info freely available to everyone. It's part of why freedom of speech is so important
Thanks for all the information but I would love to see more in dept conversations and studies about the solution. We are very familiar with the problem. This was still very informative and gave the science behind what everyone suspected. ❤️
This video alone is giving me anxiety. Ups and downs during pregnancy are normal according to my OB, as hormones fluctuate and so are the moods and anxieties. All of these emotions are part of normal human life so to completely avoid the stresses is be unrealistic and putting a lot of pressure on expecting mothers to be perfect and have a perfect life with a perfect family and perfect circumstances. What if we teach the society in general how to treat pregnant women instead? How about we reinvent the workforce policies and regulations to allow the mothers to stay with their babies at home for as long as they need to without the risk of financial ruins? This data is important. What's more important is what is done with that knowledge.
This gave me so much insight on maternal and fetal health before birth! It also made me more aware of myself to not be so stressed out so as to not harm my unborn baby mentally and emotionally. I haven’t had children yet but it’s insightful! Thank you for your research! It was much needed! ☺️🙂
This video is making me stressed. I commute up to 2 hours each way 4 days a week and am in a high stress job (first time being in charge of a whole region). I do everything I can to be healthy. Consistent sleep, hydration, nutrition, research…but internally I am often stressed
I feel the same way being in the military and there's nothing I can do about it. I personally think this type of stress won't do much, it's stress from like famine, abuse, war, etc that is going to have a significant impact. If it makes you feel any better I read that women that socialize daily has a good impact on the baby. Having to deal with situations and be quick witted has to help our babies learn those skills too, or atleast that's how I like to think
Women are not biologically created to withstand stresses of high pressure jobs. Men are built to be resilient to stress. In fact us women are supposed to to be at home, be cared for by the man, to focus on the children and not stress that much! Society is so messed up, they have twisted what’s supposed to be natural
I had anxiety for the first time in my life during my pregnancy, I felt so much stress for no reason and I had a panic attack and I told my doctor and she just said “it’s normal” and then my baby was the hardest baby of any of my friends, she didn’t sleep, she screamed in the car seat no matter what I did. She’s 18 months now and now I’m hoping I didn’t mess her up for life 😢
The first 3 years after the babies born matters to my baby was the same exact way and I was a little bit stressed while pregnant but as long as your responsive, loving, and caring that is also important
as an 18 year old with anxiety, it’s not something that cannot be helped or fixed. i grew up in a home that affirmed my anxiety was correct the majority of the time. for example, being constantly told by one parent that everyone was out to get me (in general terms) and being told by the other that most people weren’t evil. it confused me when one person was saying my anxiety was right, and the other was saying it was irrational. i grew up and it got worse because the one parent who told me i *should* be scared of the world never stopped. basically what i’m saying is, tell your kid(s) what to watch out for without telling them that most people are evil. “don’t take candy from strangers,” is still a perfectly fine conversation for an anxious child, so long as they know that most strangers don’t want to hurt kids and will understand if you don’t want candy. as long as both parents (or whichever parent is around) is making this clear to a child, their anxiety will be easier to deal with as they age. that’s just my opinion though :)! small edit: just thought it was interesting that the original comment was about an 18 MONTH old and i was talking about it from the perspective of an 18 YEAR old. didn’t realize that until i did a double-check for errors. good luck to you by the way, i’m sure you’ll be a great parent! ❤️
As long as you are there to hear her, really hear her, is she deeply happy or sad? How can you do things together to soothe and calm that. It can be bad but it wasn’t something you could easily control! But it is so much worse to then treat her like it’s her fault and exempt yourself from guilt, like my mother. Which has been a hell of ride. But I’m a fighter and I’m sure she is too. Forgive yourself and you guys will be more than fine! You got this 🥰Love always comes up on top 😊
This is an example of taking power away from people saying there is no choice. This is implementing fear and dependancy. Makes sense if you have unhealthy cortisol or unbalanced hormones that the baby would be effected in some way. Kinda obvious if someone isn’t healthy the baby would probably be effected. The bigger role I think is how mother/father that are traumatized raising there children without passing on that trauma or certain traits as they pick up on over time being raised The old saying you are who you surround yourself with.
Maybe she should have defined stress a bit clearer. Most women experience stress such as temporary sorrow about the unknown future, feeling helpless because of the fatigue and mood swings mostly because of the hormonal changes. That is very different from stress like life threatening events or suffering from mental illness. Also it would be helpful if the study about prenatal anxiety would be compared to postnatal depression and anxiety. Because I suspect, that the effect of the second is way greater.
Why are people focusing so much on helping the mother with whatever presumed issues instead of helping or changing or stopping the people who caused such stress in her life prior to and during pregnancy?
This comment. Some people just don’t get it. Don’t stress out a woman while she’s pregnant! We do have to have coping mechanisms for stress though so we can protect our babies. Sometimes we can’t control who is around us causing us stress
I feel you lol.. I am on my 15th week of pregnancy now and keep looking back and stressing my self, have I been stressed since I got pregnant, I think now a days stress is unavoidable.
I know... I'm so worried about my baby now at 36wks pregnant. I've been under intense stress since wk 9 to present. I never understood why my friends were saying it's very risk for me to put up with toxicity at this time. I'm 😭😭😭😭
I think about my very different experiences during 2 pregnancies and they don’t line up with any of what this lady is saying. I had more stress with my first and she’s the most chill and happy. I had a much more relaxed and pleasant pregnancy and birth with my second kid who I felt more connected to, and he was a total nightmare. I started feeling leas connected. He was so fussy, so unhappy, so restless and needy, and as he grew, started having the nastiest tantrums and behaviors. He only improved when he started preschool with a very experienced and patient teacher. He’s in kindergarten now and continues to improve. He’s turning into a sweet kid with better emotional regulation, and less rigidity, and he’s a very good student. Still has some issues with listening and obedience/respecting his teacher, but the difference now from when he was 1-3 is like night and day. My chill happy daughter on the other hand isn’t a great student, and spends a lot of time daydreaming because she’s very creative and is continually sparked to dream up new ideas. She’s very much like me as a kid and I struggled with school because of my daydreaming and slow pace.
Thanks for sharing, it’s interesting how your experiences don’t match with the video. I wonder if some kids are just born with a certain temperament regardless of what the mom goes through or does.
Hello! A man called me entitled, because I said that a fetus and a mother have extremely special relationship and a father, unfortunately, is in disadvantage here. He said a man can have as deep bond with a child as a mother. He ignored the fact that women are the ones varying the baby and providing everything for it. I understand in this day and age we try to make things equal but some things are just obvious. Is it perhaps true regarding the opinion he says?
No, he’s wrong and just trying to “Mansplain”. He can be there for his partner, rub her belly and try to connect. But nothing like the mother, you are correct and don’t let this guy let you think otherwise.
While you are correct in the fact that the mother and fetus have a deep relationship due to the biological relationship, it is inaccurate to say that a father does not contribute in the same way. Fathers have a profound contribution to the social development of a child. along with this, the father's environmental influences do matter, while less, it is still very important just like the mothers. in the 90 ish days during sperm development, the father's psychological, biological, and environmental influences are expressed through the sperm. these eventually carry over to the child's development.
No,you re just an entitled bitch just like the woman who responded to you Fathers are just as important in a child s life. That why a lot of people have fathers issues later in their life. Plus,not all mothers are great. There are some horrible,vile mothers out there who got pregnant for the wrong reasons and you mean to tell that they will foster " a deep bond" with their children?!! And what about adoptive mothers? Are they not real mothers?!
Newborn Adoptees were and still are separated from their moms at birth, like I was. I never got to know my mom and it really messed me up. We need less adoptions, and more family preservation.
Neurodivergence like ADHD and autism are genetic, so it makes sense that if the mother is neurodivergent, the child will be. And, as is now often said, the world has not yet produced an un-traumatized autistic person. We are more likely to be stressed, but that's not the cause by default. Neurodivergent therefore stress, NOT stress and therefore neurodivergent.
My counselor in college said there are studies that show that adopted children can have a sense of abandonment even when adopted at birth because they did develop a bond in utero. I was adopted at birth and have had some struggles with self-worth and people-pleasing that are partially due to my upbringing, but she suspected that it could have started from that initial material bond having been broken at birth as well. Fascinating stuff, but definitely not life-ruining with the right support system. I think you have much more detrimental effects when adopted children are stripped away from a primary caregiver during their first few years of life when their attachment is being cemented.
Women like this irritate me. She’s putting so much additional fear in the minds of mothers-to-be. How the hell are low income struggling single mothers to cope with this information. Come with solutions or be quiet! She talks about intervention but her PREPP nonsense does not and cannot fix society. Our society is sick and will produce like progeny.
Sorry you can't deal with the truth but even stress in adults causes cancer. If she hit too close to home that's not her problem, don't people have a right to know? Maybe don't get pregnant when you're in a bad period of your life.
@shelteredopal instead of blaming women for getting pregnant in less than ideal circumstances, why not advocate for a more supportive and fair society that supports women who are struggling.
I totally am in alignment! Except, I believe the soul enters the baby at conception, so I don't like the word fetus. Fully conscious being developing in our bodies and complete connection and awareness! Thank you so much for sharing the science behind this bond of this God Designed biological, emotional, and psychological connection between baby, mother, and close environment.
This would be so much more interesting if you said developing baby rather than fetus. It doesn’t mean anything about being pro choice or pro life. *SOME* Pregnant women would pay more attention (I am 20 weeks). Of course, others may not care at all and prefer fetus.
I’m 26 weeks and the term fetus vs baby doesn’t make any difference to me.. if anything I appreciate her using the correct terminology because I want evidence based scientific information when I’m doing my research. Her fluffing up the language and referring to “baby” just to sound cute would be annoying.
@@yerliramos when you feel that kick and it is deemed just a “fetus” you will hopefully understand more. I’m fine with the word and have nothing against it. But my son I’m carrying is also 100 percent human. I feel his spirit with me now. He could not be aborted in some states even though he has the full capacity to be born and live.
@katersization I'm pregnant at the moment, first time mom, the best feeling ever, I feel and love those kicks, but it's still a fetus and there nothing wrong with biology, and facts
@@yerliramos We just disagree. If you lost the child (I wish that on NO one!!!) then you would have every right to grieve the fetus as a child. Best of fortune in your pregnancy. If you are past five weeks he/she has a heartbeat. Your first ultrasound is an inspirational trip of looking at facial features. From one mom to another, congrats. Enjoy every moment!
Fetus definition, an unborn offspring of a mammal, in particular an unborn human baby more than eight weeks after conception. Baby definition, a very young child, especially one newly or recently born. Words have definitions and meanings. Your opinion on the matter doesn't change facts🤷
This woman is terrible. Some traumatic situations etc cant be avioded during pregnancy. You cant always reduce the stress, she is clueless and has obviously never faced such things personally, we call this DELUDED. Cant stand her presentation either, totally annoying
I don't think she's saying it's the mother's fault...she's just talking about the science/data not saying women under stress while pregnant are bad mothers.
But I agree my dad physically attacked me during the second trimester. That was out of my control and sad truth is a lot of women deal with stuff like this
@Joanne Fisher I experienced greater than usual stress in my first and second trimester, with the worst part being in the second trimester. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and I took some steps to remove the stressors from my life and I'm now actively working on destressing and mindfulness etc. Is it too late in the pregnancy or can I still heal the 'damage' from the first half of the pregnancy? Can this gene in the placenta be turned off again if it has been turned on?
Many behavioural problems occur in infants and young children when society does not allow the mother to nurture her child. Our greed-driven society and the media tell families the mother has a responsibility to her employer and must return to work with total disregard for the infant's need to be in physical contact and to be nurtured by his/her mother. Mothers forced to return too early to work disregard the stress signals their child gives them. The mother returns home tired and stressed, and the infant/child recognizes this state and tunes into this creating more difficulties for the child. The last generation of mothers fought for parental leave so the child could then begin separation at the start of kindergarten which was invented to offer additional safe surroundings for the child at that stage of development when the child shows interest to interact with and play with other children from around age three +. What happened? Why have governments initiated mainstream media selling of the image of the professional superwoman? Demanding mothers place their infants for long hours in outsourced care with staff who have no emotional investment in the development and care of the infant five days a week. This takes place without prior investigation, a real understanding of the infant`s needs. Behavioural difficulties, anxiety, and a lack of self-regulation are observable in many children who were too soon removed from their mother's care. Is collecting taxes from these women so important right now? Mental health has higher costs in the years that follow. The mother-infant relationship after birth and prioritising your child`s care under age three matters.
This is maybe the best comment of all. Glad that there are women who see the sickness of our society.
you are spot on! Yeah - what she said!
I’m glad no one forced me back to work after my baby was born - instead I choose to quit my job!
@haley2542 I had to work with both my kids. My husband lost his job shortly after I went back to work with my first and so we decided he should stay home and get another degree while watching our baby. And then the second one followed 3.5 years later and that was also joint effort and by then I worked from home from time to time. Plus pandemic happened, so my second also never went to daycare until she was like 2.5 I think.
Both girls transitioned very well into daycare. No crying or complaints. We were fortunate. But personally, having to be forced to go back to work after my first one was very hard. When second came, I actually wanted to return to work bc the environment at home in general was already exhaustive.
I had to go back to work after 4 months post partum. My son definitely became closer to everyone around him except me. My employer started demanding more time from me (choosing to keep the temp they hired instead of letting her go so they could make us compete for the same job) I was in tears going to work in that environment. My son's father was not very supportive and reiterated that he couldn't support us all financially. I so regret not prioritizing my baby and telling his dad to deal with it and to take an extra job. Cut to 16 years later... I'm in a happier, loving relationship and pregnant with my 2nd miracle baby (I'm now 43). I was laid off a month before getting pregnant and my partner supports me being a stay at home mom and getting the education I never had a chance to get earlier in life. My firstborn will be 16 next month and we are closer than ever. Becoming a single mom with him was the best thing ever for our mother -son bond. I hope to God I can have that special bond with my little baby to be, this one will be born of a better love and family.
This means us as men have to do everything we can to lessen stress in womens lives
In return you might have a child that won’t be so stressful on both of you.
I’m thankful my man is doing everything he can to make this process as “easy” and stress free as possible and I appreciate it so much ❤️ we’ve been trying for awhile and it still feels unreal but I’ve been wanting to be a mama for decades and this baby is finally here 🥹❤️❤️
This is for you, pregnant amazing women reading this: Your baby is stronger than you think. This video encourages fear, emotional invalidation and anxiety. True facts: life is hard. Life has beauty. Life is tough. And so your baby is! I know many women that even though they suffered depression and anxiety, they developed healthy happy babies in their wombs and later out. So dont worry too much about your emotions, because emotions are part of the life and i am sure that you can be stressed and still feel nice moments too when eating an icecream, talk to a loved one or watch a comedy show. It is normal to feel so so bad sometimes due to hormones through pregnancy! Everything can be the worst suddenly and i dont think God desing was so terrible. Everything has its reasons. Also your inmune system is at its lowest so you can keep the baby in. This affects emotions too. So you will feel all the emotions in your pregnancy!and your baby will still be safe. All you need is to feel it normal and part of the life itself, because someday, your baby will also feel ALL emotions and you will validate all of them with your support and love. I send you all mine❤.
I think a dads touch and time to mum while pregnant makes a lot of difference
Agreed my husband just left me 4 months pregnant I need to get my shit together I had a bad mental break down yesteday
@@juliegiulietti1229 I hope you are seeking the help you need and believe that you deserve it! Take care of yourself :)
During my second pregnancy in 2022 I lost my job 5 months before getting pregnant. I slept through most of my pregnancy. I was always tired! But sleep is what made me feel like I could make it through the day. I had zero stress. A very happy marriage. There was a time though from September-December (she was born 12/20/22) that was a emotional because my sons biological father passed away. But I gave myself time to cry and then I would stop and shift my focus. When My daughter was born she was and still is an excellent sleeper. She’s happy ALL THE TIME! She LOVES children. She’s super friendly and so lovable. She’s smart, she met every single milestone on point! I often wonder if it’s because of her DNA or if it’s because I had such and amazing pregnancy! I had no sickness and gained about 10-13 pounds. But she’s an excellent little baby. I’m amazed. She would sleep 10-12 hours. We have a routine at home and she sticks to it! I just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant so I’ll see how the next baby is.
Way to go mama🎉
Came to learn, left depressed…
Me too
All G. Too many missing links in the information for it to be accurate.
Information like this takes power away from people.
They want a depressed and weak society to rely on the system. More depressed people more money for the system and easier to control a populous when people can’t think for them self.
Watching this is making people depressed and probably effecting mothers while questioning their life.
Now im more stressed thinking i am stressed the whole 6 months im pregnant (3 mos to go) and how will that impact my child. Uhhhh 😞
The first 3 years after birth matter to not just the first 9 months of pregnancy. I experienced some stress while pregnant. I gave birth to my daughter, she hardly ever slept, wanted to be held constantly, walked around and shushed for hours and hours. She couldn’t eat a bottle if she was to upset which was over nothing, she just seemed to over react to everything. I guess you would say she was high needs because she always had to be help upright standing and walking. I also had extra help from family so I relied on them to help out babysitting while I slept. We practiced alot of putting her in and out of the crib so she would get used to that. When she was 6 months she was supposed to be sleeping more through the night but she was getting up 3 times every night for bottles or she would be up all night. Doctor said let her just cry herself to sleep but I never did it. I never followed a strict schedule with bottles or sleeping it was just whenever she wanted or needed them. At 9 months she was still getting up for bottles but it was only once or twice and doctor said that I must let her CIO at night and she can go without bottles, I never did it. Never wanted her to cry endlessly. I couldn’t trust her going to the church nursery once a week for the longest time cause she was so high needs! When she got a little older she could only go in for 45 minutes with the other kids even though church is like an hour and a half. But rn she is almost a year old. She’s so sweet now, she’s happy every morning when she wakes up, she loves hugs, she is obsessed with reading books, she seems more independent then what she was as a baby. She is very dramatic over diaper changes, going in her car seat, putting clothes on. But I think it’s just part of being a toddler. She still wants to be held and carried around before she goes down for a nap or bedtime and yes it kills my back but I love her. We also do the swing outside and car rides for naps or walks. She loves people, she likes to be busy, likes to be outside, so we do alot of that, I still haven’t put her in a daycare yet or have gone back to work cause I don’t think she’s ready for being in an environment with other kids all day in pretty much the same rooms. We’re making lots of progress and she’s only 11 months and I’m so proud of how far we’ve come!!!!
Update: Shes 2 and a half and the sweetest thing ❤️
Beautiful. Well done!
great job super momma ❤ you follow your instinct ❤
Thank you for sharing this. My 3rd baby barely sleeps, always wants to be held, and it's a stark difference to my 1st two, easy going babies. Everyone says he's spoiled, let him cry it out. He's 6mo now and my doc told me to stop nursing him through the night. I, like you, am ignoring that advice. I know this baby just needs me a bit more than his siblings did and I will continue to nurse him, babywear, and hold him. He's our last baby, so while I'm exhausted, I know this is just a season and won't last forever. I'm really sad I can't stay home with him and have to work. That's even more reason to keep him close while we are together.
This was very similar to my experience with my youngest son. I just catered to his every need more or less. Would never dream of letting him cry it out. That teaches the child that you don’t care about them. He’s 12 now, completely chill, selfless, intelligent and very responsible. No one believes me when I tell them he was a difficult baby. Always trust your instincts as the mother.
Great so, on top of having suffered debilitating prenatal depression and anxiety, I get to feel guilty about having messed up my child forever. Awesome.
"The first 1000 Days" (includes gestations), by Dr. Allan Schore is a masterpiece which explains much, including the content herein. Highly recommend. It's a remarkable period, and our lack of understanding of it explains much of what we are seeing in terms of "mental illness". Emotional Dysregulation, caused during this important period, for many, is a lifelong, undiscussed, underlying problem.
Hi. I know this comment is a year old but I can’t find anything with this title written by him. Is this a chapter in a different book? Thanks
@@findAplaceToCallHome Hi. Looks like YT cleaned house on the title, but if you look for his name, along with "Critical early development", it brings up a few. I did find the aforementioned subtitle on at least one (1:51:00 in length), but not as "The Title."
It's here, but not quite as simple as it once was to find. Enjoy and good luck.
The pressure this puts on mothers-to-be on top of all other worries and the beginning transition towards being a parent.... When my wife was 25 weeks pregnant with my second son, our eldest daughter became so ill we were being told we might lose her. 2 weeks of intensive care and 5 weeks of hospital, and my wife has never, ever been in a comparable panic mode throughout her whole life. Now. There are studies that seem to suggest that a fetus that has been exposed to significant maternal stress in the womb during pregnancy weeks 25 to 28 have a significantly higher risk of developing autism. My wife was severely stressed from week 25 to week 32. And, indeed, my second son has autism. Could be coincidence, and if not, very likely the stress my wife experienced during the crucial pregnancy weeks was only one of several contributing factors (she was also exposed to high environmental pollution during pregnancy weeks 24 to 26 - nile cruise in Egypt with diesel fumes in our cabines so bad that it made her throw up in the middle of the night so we spent our nights 'sleeping' on deck -, and there is also one case of autism in my extended family). Anyhow, as you might imagine, she is blaming herself really badly in those moments when it's hard to focus only on going forwards and keeping in mind that what is done is done and no struggling with past decisions can make these undone. My wife feels very guilty for not having been able to stress less, and for that she 'gave our son autism' because she was too weak when our daughter was on dialysis in intensive care, with sepsis and water on heart and lungs. Podcasts like this are such a massive opportunity for women who are not experiencing massive external stress during pregnancy that they can't avoid to influence their child's very early life to the better. But a podcast like this is also a bit of another slap into the face of women who did face huge amounts of stress during pregnancy that they couldn't avoid, and whose children are facing issues that other children don't.
Have you had genetic testing? Many children with autism have a genetic change that can be detected that happens at conception
It would be hard to divorce inevitable hardships of stress from the idea other hardships can be self-caused (ie. Keeping bad friends around or taking too hard a work load when you don’t need to). She has nothing to blame herself over. It was inevitable. I hope you find good support groups.
That should really not be a slap in womans face at all. I think it is a bit of a slap into the face of people who think it is not neccery to support pregnat woman as a sociteiy (bc there are clear problems reasulting from that in-action) not a slap at any given woman. Being worried is not unresonable. Exprienicng stress is not bad or a fault.
I would so much rather have this information. The truth can be harmful to some individuals, and I'm so heartbroken for your wife and the guilt she doesn't deserve to feel, but it's always better to have info freely available to everyone. It's part of why freedom of speech is so important
You are an incredibly caring husband and man. 🙏🙏🙏💛💛💛 you're wife is fortunate to have you by her side.
Thanks for all the information but I would love to see more in dept conversations and studies about the solution. We are very familiar with the problem. This was still very informative and gave the science behind what everyone suspected. ❤️
The solutions are clear but the problem is maybe they are consistently applied
Fascinating! This make sense for adult adoptees and mental health.
Thank you.I enjoyed learning from you today.Very beneficial information.
This video alone is giving me anxiety. Ups and downs during pregnancy are normal according to my OB, as hormones fluctuate and so are the moods and anxieties. All of these emotions are part of normal human life so to completely avoid the stresses is be unrealistic and putting a lot of pressure on expecting mothers to be perfect and have a perfect life with a perfect family and perfect circumstances. What if we teach the society in general how to treat pregnant women instead? How about we reinvent the workforce policies and regulations to allow the mothers to stay with their babies at home for as long as they need to without the risk of financial ruins? This data is important. What's more important is what is done with that knowledge.
Very interesting
This gave me so much insight on maternal and fetal health before birth! It also made me more aware of myself to not be so stressed out so as to not harm my unborn baby mentally and emotionally. I haven’t had children yet but it’s insightful! Thank you for your research! It was much needed! ☺️🙂
This was very informative video, thank you very much💗
This video is making me stressed. I commute up to 2 hours each way 4 days a week and am in a high stress job (first time being in charge of a whole region). I do everything I can to be healthy. Consistent sleep, hydration, nutrition, research…but internally I am often stressed
I feel the same way being in the military and there's nothing I can do about it. I personally think this type of stress won't do much, it's stress from like famine, abuse, war, etc that is going to have a significant impact. If it makes you feel any better I read that women that socialize daily has a good impact on the baby. Having to deal with situations and be quick witted has to help our babies learn those skills too, or atleast that's how I like to think
Women are not biologically created to withstand stresses of high pressure jobs. Men are built to be resilient to stress. In fact us women are supposed to to be at home, be cared for by the man, to focus on the children and not stress that much! Society is so messed up, they have twisted what’s supposed to be natural
I had anxiety for the first time in my life during my pregnancy, I felt so much stress for no reason and I had a panic attack and I told my doctor and she just said “it’s normal” and then my baby was the hardest baby of any of my friends, she didn’t sleep, she screamed in the car seat no matter what I did. She’s 18 months now and now I’m hoping I didn’t mess her up for life 😢
The first 3 years after the babies born matters to my baby was the same exact way and I was a little bit stressed while pregnant but as long as your responsive, loving, and caring that is also important
as an 18 year old with anxiety, it’s not something that cannot be helped or fixed. i grew up in a home that affirmed my anxiety was correct the majority of the time. for example, being constantly told by one parent that everyone was out to get me (in general terms) and being told by the other that most people weren’t evil. it confused me when one person was saying my anxiety was right, and the other was saying it was irrational. i grew up and it got worse because the one parent who told me i *should* be scared of the world never stopped.
basically what i’m saying is, tell your kid(s) what to watch out for without telling them that most people are evil. “don’t take candy from strangers,” is still a perfectly fine conversation for an anxious child, so long as they know that most strangers don’t want to hurt kids and will understand if you don’t want candy. as long as both parents (or whichever parent is around) is making this clear to a child, their anxiety will be easier to deal with as they age. that’s just my opinion though :)!
small edit: just thought it was interesting that the original comment was about an 18 MONTH old and i was talking about it from the perspective of an 18 YEAR old. didn’t realize that until i did a double-check for errors. good luck to you by the way, i’m sure you’ll be a great parent! ❤️
As long as you are there to hear her, really hear her, is she deeply happy or sad? How can you do things together to soothe and calm that. It can be bad but it wasn’t something you could easily control! But it is so much worse to then treat her like it’s her fault and exempt yourself from guilt, like my mother. Which has been a hell of ride. But I’m a fighter and I’m sure she is too. Forgive yourself and you guys will be more than fine!
You got this 🥰Love always comes up on top 😊
How does an adult who experienced prenatal stress heal? What types of therapy or other modalities?
This is an example of taking power away from people saying there is no choice.
This is implementing fear and dependancy.
Makes sense if you have unhealthy cortisol or unbalanced hormones that the baby would be effected in some way.
Kinda obvious if someone isn’t healthy the baby would probably be effected.
The bigger role I think is how mother/father that are traumatized raising there children without passing on that trauma or certain traits as they pick up on over time being raised
The old saying you are who you surround yourself with.
I know some of this is difficult to hear but she's giving scientific data... It's good stuff to know
So many missing links in the data creating inaccurate information.
Maybe she should have defined stress a bit clearer. Most women experience stress such as temporary sorrow about the unknown future, feeling helpless because of the fatigue and mood swings mostly because of the hormonal changes. That is very different from stress like life threatening events or suffering from mental illness.
Also it would be helpful if the study about prenatal anxiety would be compared to postnatal depression and anxiety. Because I suspect, that the effect of the second is way greater.
Why are people focusing so much on helping the mother with whatever presumed issues instead of helping or changing or stopping the people who caused such stress in her life prior to and during pregnancy?
This comment. Some people just don’t get it. Don’t stress out a woman while she’s pregnant! We do have to have coping mechanisms for stress though so we can protect our babies. Sometimes we can’t control who is around us causing us stress
🎉🎉
I feel more stressed after watching this video now lol
I feel you lol.. I am on my 15th week of pregnancy now and keep looking back and stressing my self, have I been stressed since I got pregnant, I think now a days stress is unavoidable.
I know... I'm so worried about my baby now at 36wks pregnant. I've been under intense stress since wk 9 to present. I never understood why my friends were saying it's very risk for me to put up with toxicity at this time. I'm 😭😭😭😭
I think about my very different experiences during 2 pregnancies and they don’t line up with any of what this lady is saying. I had more stress with my first and she’s the most chill and happy. I had a much more relaxed and pleasant pregnancy and birth with my second kid who I felt more connected to, and he was a total nightmare. I started feeling leas connected. He was so fussy, so unhappy, so restless and needy, and as he grew, started having the nastiest tantrums and behaviors. He only improved when he started preschool with a very experienced and patient teacher. He’s in kindergarten now and continues to improve. He’s turning into a sweet kid with better emotional regulation, and less rigidity, and he’s a very good student. Still has some issues with listening and obedience/respecting his teacher, but the difference now from when he was 1-3 is like night and day. My chill happy daughter on the other hand isn’t a great student, and spends a lot of time daydreaming because she’s very creative and is continually sparked to dream up new ideas. She’s very much like me as a kid and I struggled with school because of my daydreaming and slow pace.
Thanks for sharing, it’s interesting how your experiences don’t match with the video. I wonder if some kids are just born with a certain temperament regardless of what the mom goes through or does.
Outliers
Also boy vs. girl temperament
Thanks for sharing
Hello! A man called me entitled, because I said that a fetus and a mother have extremely special relationship and a father, unfortunately, is in disadvantage here. He said a man can have as deep bond with a child as a mother. He ignored the fact that women are the ones varying the baby and providing everything for it. I understand in this day and age we try to make things equal but some things are just obvious. Is it perhaps true regarding the opinion he says?
No, he’s wrong and just trying to “Mansplain”. He can be there for his partner, rub her belly and try to connect.
But nothing like the mother, you are correct and don’t let this guy let you think otherwise.
While you are correct in the fact that the mother and fetus have a deep relationship due to the biological relationship, it is inaccurate to say that a father does not contribute in the same way. Fathers have a profound contribution to the social development of a child. along with this, the father's environmental influences do matter, while less, it is still very important just like the mothers. in the 90 ish days during sperm development, the father's psychological, biological, and environmental influences are expressed through the sperm. these eventually carry over to the child's development.
No,you re just an entitled bitch just like the woman who responded to you
Fathers are just as important in a child s life. That why a lot of people have fathers issues later in their life. Plus,not all mothers are great. There are some horrible,vile mothers out there who got pregnant for the wrong reasons and you mean to tell that they will foster " a deep bond" with their children?!!
And what about adoptive mothers? Are they not real mothers?!
You are right but a father can communicate with the unborn as everything is energy.
You are wrong. The father is as important as the mother. Father involvement is what differentiates us from other mammals.
Newborn Adoptees were and still are separated from their moms at birth, like I was. I never got to know my mom and it really messed me up. We need less adoptions, and more family preservation.
Adopted parents can benefit from this relationship too?
Also interresitng
And something that is popular knowlege anyway, but still nice
Neurodivergence like ADHD and autism are genetic, so it makes sense that if the mother is neurodivergent, the child will be. And, as is now often said, the world has not yet produced an un-traumatized autistic person. We are more likely to be stressed, but that's not the cause by default. Neurodivergent therefore stress, NOT stress and therefore neurodivergent.
16:00
16:30 HSD 11 Beta cortisol
I wonder how the content of this video impacts the adoption of children at birth?
Children, experience trauma
My counselor in college said there are studies that show that adopted children can have a sense of abandonment even when adopted at birth because they did develop a bond in utero. I was adopted at birth and have had some struggles with self-worth and people-pleasing that are partially due to my upbringing, but she suspected that it could have started from that initial material bond having been broken at birth as well. Fascinating stuff, but definitely not life-ruining with the right support system. I think you have much more detrimental effects when adopted children are stripped away from a primary caregiver during their first few years of life when their attachment is being cemented.
@@imnotlikeothergirls5Well not having a real mothers love is I’d say is the bigger factor.
7:00 DOHAD
So what about the postives ? Way to much negativity
3:30 newborns suck more and recognize moms smell and taste and voice
This explains why I had a miscarriage at 21 weeks.
Women like this irritate me. She’s putting so much additional fear in the minds of mothers-to-be. How the hell are low income struggling single mothers to cope with this information. Come with solutions or be quiet! She talks about intervention but her PREPP nonsense does not and cannot fix society. Our society is sick and will produce like progeny.
People’s inability to deal with important information does not mean that information shouldn’t be available.
Sorry you can't deal with the truth but even stress in adults causes cancer. If she hit too close to home that's not her problem, don't people have a right to know? Maybe don't get pregnant when you're in a bad period of your life.
@shelteredopal instead of blaming women for getting pregnant in less than ideal circumstances, why not advocate for a more supportive and fair society that supports women who are struggling.
I totally am in alignment! Except, I believe the soul enters the baby at conception, so I don't like the word fetus. Fully conscious being developing in our bodies and complete connection and awareness! Thank you so much for sharing the science behind this bond of this God Designed biological, emotional, and psychological connection between baby, mother, and close environment.
This would be so much more interesting if you said developing baby rather than fetus. It doesn’t mean anything about being pro choice or pro life. *SOME* Pregnant women would pay more attention (I am 20 weeks). Of course, others may not care at all and prefer fetus.
I’m 26 weeks and the term fetus vs baby doesn’t make any difference to me.. if anything I appreciate her using the correct terminology because I want evidence based scientific information when I’m doing my research. Her fluffing up the language and referring to “baby” just to sound cute would be annoying.
When I want to look for information I look up for fetus 🤷♀️, I think it's the correct terminology and makes more sense to me
@@yerliramos when you feel that kick and it is deemed just a “fetus” you will hopefully understand more. I’m fine with the word and have nothing against it. But my son I’m carrying is also 100 percent human. I feel his spirit with me now. He could not be aborted in some states even though he has the full capacity to be born and live.
@katersization I'm pregnant at the moment, first time mom, the best feeling ever, I feel and love those kicks, but it's still a fetus and there nothing wrong with biology, and facts
@@yerliramos We just disagree. If you lost the child (I wish that on NO one!!!) then you would have every right to grieve the fetus as a child. Best of fortune in your pregnancy. If you are past five weeks he/she has a heartbeat. Your first ultrasound is an inspirational trip of looking at facial features. From one mom to another, congrats. Enjoy every moment!
Can't listen to someone who speaks with their eyes closed...
Baby!! Not fetus
This is a scientific presentation. It’s Fetus, until it is born. Smh
Fetus definition, an unborn offspring of a mammal, in particular an unborn human baby more than eight weeks after conception.
Baby definition,
a very young child, especially one newly or recently born.
Words have definitions and meanings. Your opinion on the matter doesn't change facts🤷
Zygote, Embryo, Fetus, Baby.
Fetus is baby in Latin people. Its been dubbed a more “scientific” term lol, but it’s not. It literally means “baby”
This woman is terrible. Some traumatic situations etc cant be avioded during pregnancy. You cant always reduce the stress, she is clueless and has obviously never faced such things personally, we call this DELUDED. Cant stand her presentation either, totally annoying
I don't think she's saying it's the mother's fault...she's just talking about the science/data not saying women under stress while pregnant are bad mothers.
But I agree my dad physically attacked me during the second trimester. That was out of my control and sad truth is a lot of women deal with stuff like this
@Joanne Fisher I experienced greater than usual stress in my first and second trimester, with the worst part being in the second trimester. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and I took some steps to remove the stressors from my life and I'm now actively working on destressing and mindfulness etc. Is it too late in the pregnancy or can I still heal the 'damage' from the first half of the pregnancy? Can this gene in the placenta be turned off again if it has been turned on?
It's not your fault ❤️
Really Melissa? You better be in the know coz she's taking proven science. She's not blaming the mum.