Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
How can I apply some of the teachings here on a long distance relationship? I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years. We have a 2 year old daughter. We planned to start living together this year, but COVID19 has delayed everything. It is difficult to communicate over the phone.
Hi there.. i realy have a problem like this with my wife and i realy wana win her heart back.. what shoul i do! Will i wait her untill shes cooling down. Or shiuld i talk to her. I realy dont know what to do
hey @geoffrey this is a very nice advice that i could use, however, we havent seen each other personally since march and we broke up in july. i don't know when we could meet up in person. would it be fine to wait until then? it has been a month since we broke up and i'm really scared that she might go farther away or find someone else. hope you will respond, thank you.
@Geoffrey Setiawan Been watching your videos for a little while now. Currently something going on with my relationship and yes everything in the relationship pyramid occurred for her to say she’s no longer in love with me. We talked about everything and she told me she trusts me She told me how she feels but another thing she said she’s no longer bothered no more. She just needs time to herself for think. What do I do at this point and is there anything I can do. She’s okay with having contact and texting and hanging out. But what do I do at this point. Please and thank you.!
April 9, 2022: We have been together for more than 2 years. And today she told me she doesn't feel the same way about me like she used to. And she really meant it. I can feel it in her voice. Thank You for the video.. Will be back here after 1 week. Edit: April 10, 2022: Just one day later, I went to her house, we began to talk and I confess her all out. And said I will grow myself mentally, and acted likewise.. We both almost burst into tears.. Now I can say we both are happy, cause I can feel her more closely... Thank You
What I appreciate about you Geoffrey is that you don’t say “give up walk away” like I’ve been hearing daily .. it’s not that easy. I know what love is ! My wife of 17 yrs was killed by a texting teenage driver .. 2013. I loved her. Now I have a partner that we share so much love. I became needy and supplication ran amok.. she asked me for time and I made every mistake possible but I have yet to feel any anger towards her. I am working on me and feel positive about a reconciliation. You are the first to say positive solutions are possible ! I cannot thank you enough.
Emotional baggage destroys: emotional, psychological safety. Admiration, Heal emotional baggage 1. Let her express herself 2. Understand the problem How to open up 1. Start non verbally 2. open ended questions 3. Repeat paraphrase clarify Solutions 1. Never force a conversation 2. Focus on zero arguments 3. In person please.
I went to college to be a game designer, and took classes to think systemically when it comes to fixing video games. What I love about this channel is that the advice is systemic, it's not looking at little short term bandages and tactics to make things work again for a little while. It's not looking at ways to cling to power, hurt your partner, and make them feel small. It's trying to curry mutual trust, safety, and understanding through hard work, vulnerability, and effort. It accepts, unlike all the common notions, that living with someone else is hard, and there's no substitute to that work. The review between videos makes the core concept very clear in understanding how it is the underlying problem no matter what the surface level issue is.
My wife says she doesn’t love me any more, and doesn’t want to try because she doesn’t think it will change. I still love her and want to keep my family together.
Im extremely thankful for the time you have taken to make all these videos. My wife is not in love with me and she doesnt know if she can regain love for me again. Im trying to watch and apply these lessons so i can save my bond with my wife. Thank you geoffrey
@@bearbrewer8517 im two months in and things are far from clear. I have my wifes friendship but not romantic love. Stay strong brother and try to find the best self you can and work on that. Good luck
@@ApeRiderr she pretended her male coworker was a just a friend untill he was just pas it. And them i fond out he is a registered six child offeri. And i got 12 a 15 and 21 yp. Im still mad lovely guys im bein honest. I miss have the godd/best friend as my wife shes a hunk of ahit to and since I mahe chowe to ive a man like that with our two ramining in that house.... im not goijg bavk. Those POSs dewerve each other otltge.r othrr i always like to help people all lif2e crPpy journeys so if any dude just a guy to talk with we could figure sonethi. Hipe tall are doing better than me.
Hi Tarek Ahmed, Have you joined my free 90 min master class to see how so many of my clients have had success in restore hope in their relationships once again? relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
She genuinely does not have hope anymore,she does not care about me at all and she thinks she can do whatever she wants.She never reassured me,she always puts me down,she does not support me at all.But at the same time she does not break up with me.She has a few times but I’ve always pulled her closer.
I heard these gut wrenching words and that was the end for me. I went into depression for a week because I was trying but she kept rejecting me as if she was satisfied with my pain. At the same time she was telling me she doesnt want me to leave and she loved me. She was back and fourth wi th her emotions. I got confused and just moved out after a week. I went to work and never came back home. Once a women says that it's over....dont try to fix it. It will only be an ego booster. You will only get pity from her afterwards
This is the second video of you that I've watched. Thank you so much for all the information and advices. I haven't checked yet but do you have a version of this for LDR relationship? Thank you again!
@@somaesch2769 I have the same problem. She isn't able to give me a reason as to why she lost feelings. Mainly because she doesn't know why she did. She didn't want to and she is willing to give it a shot in the future but i'm still terrified. I live in the U.S. and she lives in Germany and I can't lose her. What should I do?
see my problem is I can't get her to even come towards me or even talk to me how do I do that without her getting mad I'd love to have physical touch with her I'd love to get an open conversation but how do I do that?
Thankyou, I'm going to try these ways of talking to her and listening, not because I want her to take me back but because I want her to know I'm not the crappy person she thinks I am. She's just had our first child 3 months ago, I need to fix this what I broke. Stress of being a dad and having to live so far from them for work I struggled to cope with that.
The more I am showing him that I am listening and asking open ended questions the more upset it seems to be getting him. He only wants to have conversations with me about dividing our assets so that he can file for divorce. How do I create emotional safety when he doesn’t want to talk about anything other than the divorce. He has no interest in any questions other than this. The more he pushes me the more I do not react and stay super calm, but it seems to just up the ante for him. When he sees that I don’t react, he starts saying stuff like if I don’t start to talk about the divorce, then he will start bringing other women around. How do you navigate a conversation? If all they want to do is focus on saying the most hurtful things, and when you don’t react, they just keep going. he gave me a timeline that I need to give him an answer on dividing our assets. Otherwise he will start seeing other women.
Hey Ly, Thank you brother! Happy this video was insightful for you. I and all my clients have implemented all these principles to build a thriving relationship. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: th-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
does this apply to me my partner and i got into a fight and i said some awful things not horrible things we got into a small argument and then it turned into a big one about me getting a job of my own [because i was helping her with her job] and i said if i was to get a real job id end up killing myself [to clarify i have autism and adhd and i have very bad anxiety and i havnt been able to work in a real job at all we are both 25 she has her own dog walking business so i was with her so i wasnt anxious] and she left the room and that was it for the night got to next morning and she left for work on her own and i get a message saying we need to talk [as all guys fear these words i panicked heavily] so i panick and proceed to make things worse and by accident i made out one of my messages very suicidal even tho i just went for a walk which i said to her after she had a right panick and after a while i went back home and then she wanted me to go back to my families house so i agreed and i left and she wanted space i then stupidly still messaged her then she said give me space to think things through and so next day i get a message saying[ sorry you will have to come get you things as i cant do this relationship anymore i have fallen out of love for you and i want to work on myself i still care for you and love you but we can be friends] so is there room for me to resolve this rekindle the flame we had coz i know my mistakes in this after having a few days to really thing about it and research things i got to co dependent on her and relied on her WAY to much and it overwhelmed her along with me not listening to past arguments which was 2 we both lacked communication coz of the of previous arguments was we said we will sit down anytime either of us has a issue and talk it out neither of us did this which we should have so if this advice from this video can help me i want to know if its possible for me to rekindle the flame we had coz we was a happy couple shes my world and i dont want to lose her
Without more context, it would be impossible for me to answer. But here's something -- the opposite of love is NOT hate, hit indifference. Most people are afraid when their partner is angry at them, but when they should really know it is over is when your partner is completely indifferent to you. Anger means that still care enough to be angry :) Which situation do you think you're in?
@@GeoffreySetiawan I don't know, to be honest. Back then, she told me that "No matter how much you say sorry, I would never forgive you, because reasons" Few months later, we talk for a while, and ranted about the person she replaced me with who broke her heart because of cheating and ghosting. and that's about it. She never talked to me since. When we talk it's just plain normal convo and nothing else. Probably between "Doesnt care" and "Still mad at me"
Great video and tips! Trying to “fix” things out of my control is something that I have learned to let go of, both in friendships and relationships. Thank you for sharing!
Wife said she doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to try to save marriage, we haven’t been intimate for many years , I can’t even touch her , it’s like I have a disease, we have had arguments over the years, she laughed at me and said I can’t believe you haven’t seen this coming for a while,she said I have been there for her emotional support over the years. please help me save my marriage I love my wife dearly going on 30 years
My wife rarely start a conversation. If there is a conversation she starts its just small talks. And she doesnt like to be touched or hold. What should i do?
Ex told me this on Saturday after a month of no contact I said alright no problem take care. We got to this point cuz of her poor communication months of her not saying nothing instead of telling me the issues she was complaining to her friends or family. Like I told her u fcked up not me!! I did the best I could with I had. Why would I want to try with someone who has poor communication skills. So it could happen all over again? I'm good just clicked on this video to see but this seems like way too much work. knowing that I'm going to have to do all the work and fix what she broke. Her lost!!
this is so helpful. finally a video about how to change and understand how she’s feeling ect. i’m not here because my girlfriend says she doesn’t love me anymore but because i can see that coming and i’m too dumb to know what to do. i always say and do the wrong thing and always try and make solutions. this is the most helpful video on youtube thank you
My girlfriend told me she didn't feel the same way anymore, she's been really depressed and telling me she's extremely unhappy, with her physical appearance along with school and being stressed from overworking herself, but she tells me there's nothing I can do to make her feel better because I am not the problem. I came here because she said she wanted to wait until winter was over to see if she's just feeling this way because she's depressed, and she gets worse during the winter. I'm trying whatever I can, we've been on and off for Five years, and I've always been the one who broke up with her, im 17 so i was really young and stupid and i really regret what i did. (i never cheated or anything, just broke her heart too many times.) but im trying to make up for it all and trying my best to show her she can trust me now, even if it takes a long time i want to build her trust back no matter what, and make her fall in love with me again.
My girlfriend told me she doesn't like anything about me and the only reason she is with me is that she would feel guilty if she said no. I don't get it I thought I was being liked I was trying my best to be likeable
How would you go about this if they moved out a week ago & don’t want to text/ talk to you? Great advice I really appreciate just don’t know how to reach out to here in these times.
Love the coaching; best on TH-cam! I Im going through the worst breakup in my life and none of these things seem to apply at all! I really wish someone could help me!!! Im a terrible mental state!! Is there a way to talk to you?
Hi TheTrailDancer, Yes, I work one on one with all of my clients, but first before you consider joining my program come join my in my free masterclass to see if this program is right for you and at the end you can submit your application to join. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
How can I do these when she doesnt want to talk to me to see me I feel like my only chance is no contact at least for some time, I did what you said while breaking up it was a good break up no fight nothing she talked about the problems I listened and she said she doesnt love me anymore please help.( 2 year rship)
Everybody says - move on. I can't move on, I can't move on again. Thanks for giving me hope, I was ready to do physical harm to myself, anything to get my mind off the loss of my fiance.
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I've discussed this in SO MANY of my videos and interviews, so what I am about to say below is SOME of it, but not all. So much more I can say... When I was in this position, I said to myself - If my wife finds someone better than me, GOOD! I want her to be happy. So instead of forcing my wife to stay with me, knowing that I wasn't part of that 1%... I asked myself - How can I become the 1%, faster and better than she can find anywhere else? P.S. Just like I say in many of my videos, being the 1% is not just about money, but everything. (Spiritually, emotionally, etc...) Like I always say, real high-value men aren't afraid to give their partner choices/freedom, because they know that they will choose them. Only men of low value are afraid. If you are afraid, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself... 1) Am I really that high value? 2) Do I REALLY care about her happiness? 3) If I don't believe in my own value, why should I expect her to? 4) If I am coming from such a selfish place, why should I expect her to spend her one and only life with me and never look elsewhere? 5) If I really think that my partner is such a wild animal that if given freedom, she will abandon all morals and betray people, then why is it mystery that she never felt safe and wants to get out if that's how lowly you think of her? I mean, would YOU want to stay with someone who thinks so lowly of you? 6) If you PULL and FORCE her to stay, do you really think you can sleep soundly at night? Do you not realize that the threat of other men will ALWAYS be there? Do you not realize that the ONLY way to true security is to become the 1%? Think about it. Remember - Give people enough freedom so they CAN leave, but treat them well enough so they won't want to.
My wife walked out two months ago and says she isn’t in love with me anymore, isn’t attracted to me and hasn’t been for a very long time. We’ve been together 13 years. We can go to dinner together or take our kids shopping but I don’t know how to get my wife to have feelings for me again. She refuses to try and says she has no interest in being married to me anymore. Is it hopeless?
I feel fear about beginning this conversation because it will surface all the "negatives" making her reflect and feel worse about our relationship... any advice?
It is the end 18 years and my wife said thats it separated 3 months tried to get her back she doesnt want to know 2 new bitches as friends 15 months ago our marriage gone down since she been friends with them
@adaml7349 I wanted to save a 22-year marriage with children. It's been three months, and I found myself again, she is a narcissist to the core and drained me of everything. The rebuilding of my life is fantastic! I love life again.
@bs6940 My mother is Asian My father met her in her country, and she tried to shoot my brother and father. Just because they act well in the beginning. it doesn't mean they are all good people. Don't buy into that fantasy so quickly. There are good and bad people everywhere and in all walks of life. My father made plenty of money, and she had everything.
You mentioned that while trying to rebuild the love, don’t call or text or chat. But what if that’s all you have as a means of communication?? What then do you do?
Hi Falk, you have to appeal to emotions which cannot happen via texting. Join the free master class and you can learn how to communicate in a different way and appeal directly to emotions and turn things around.
So I've been with her for about 4 years and I she's been drifting away I would say, so I asked her if she still loved me, she asked why, I told her that she hasn't been acting like it and she said she doesn't think so, it really hurts but I'm trying my best to stay positive we are still together and we are on good terms, it just that she probably doesn't feel anything for me anymore
i have a question please ive been in realtion ship with my fiance for 6 years im 35 and she's 24 after all this time she send me a msg i dont love you anymore and i have no feeling foe you we tried to talk 2 times in a very gd way but it still dosent have feelings for me so she left again after that i called try to fix thinks but she keept told me i wana move one i dont love you so i just move away because she sais i wana try my life alone do things with out you please let me go then i told her ofcourea its your life i want talk to you no more is that makes u comftible and it been 10 days aftee broking up and 6 days no comtact between us i have to mutch pain what can i do if i call her or try to see her she will not feel ok
Thank you so much. My fiancé told me 3 days ago that she didn’t love me anymore and that she didn’t know why, but she’s willing to try and resolve it. The next day I found this video and implemented the way you advised to question. Had results already, after just two days of asking. Obviously not resolved just like that, but you’ve given me hope and for that I thank you and have signed up for the 5 step program on Tuesday.
@@GeoffreySetiawan I’ve just took part in the 5 step masterclass, took notes and will work on them. I couldn’t afford the program unfortunately but I feel more confident and I’m a very open person when it comes to looking within and making positive change. I will persist in what you’ve taught me so far and will continue to watch your TH-cam videos for a deeper insight. It’s the best I can do at present. Thanks again
There's a fine balance here. But this question suggests that you may be thinking about this/trying to approach this the wrong way. The better question is 1) How should you convey to your partner that your door is open, and 2) What do you do when you do have contact so that you're slowly drawing her closer in.
I'm so glad i clicked on this video because at first i didn't know about that pyramid which actually made sense because she always lies to me and never tells me her problem thus meaning i destroyed the foundation which is Emotional Safety
omfg i reacted badly too when she told me she want to broke up but then we just made up. I know that what i did was bad and i still went through it. omfg I'm so stupid. I'm really fucking sorry
My girlfriend just broke up with me a couple hours ago. She told me that her feelings has been fading since December. I did everything that i could think of so i can bring her love back but everything i do fails and it messed me up real bad. What's worse is we are still on a quarantine and that sucks because i thought our relationship was just based on seeing each other face-to-face. I want her back because I'm afraid that another man will come take her away from me.
Why would you try to regain it? If they lose their feelings at any time then I see it as it's not worth it if they can lose it then it's not meant to be. It seems really wrong and in natural to try to get it back. Should always last.
After 10 years my gf broke up... and you are right!.. i have psychic problems which i have to solve first before i go into another relationship.. we slept in seperate beds because i didnt want to hurt her because of my bad night dreaming... i wasnt emotional stable because i was a people pleaser so in the first 4 years i always talked about our problems with her.. she blocked so me too.. i would have to stay stable now i have priblems to speak about problems while she openes herself.. if you are not emotional stablr you are not masculine and that is not attractive! I was sporty, i was doing homework, i have good money, but i was emotional unstable sooo masculinity is mental stability!
Thank you for your insight. What if she shows no sign at all for communication towards our marriage, we're separated for 2 months right now, she acts like I'm nobody now, like a stranger, been together 14 years married 10, 2 kids. When I try to talk about "us" she says it just drains her energy out of her.
Hey Robert -- Usually, when people say that it is tiring, or that they do not have the energy to want to fix the relationship, what they are really saying is that nothing has really changed in their perspective, and they are having a difficult time seeing a different future when perhaps you, or the situation hasn't really changed. What you need to do now is to begin turning around your paradigms and approach completely and begin working on yourself big time. Slowly, she will begin to see these changes -- and only when she really believes that these changes are real and permanent, that's when things begin to REALLY change. I know that sounds quite vague -- but let me know if I can be of further help here.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you for your response. I might also add that I found out that she has been messaging another man since late October, she says they're "just friends, " but I seen the messages and they are romantic in nature, not friendly. I believe it's just emotional between them, she says they've never met, but she still sees no wrong talking to another man so much before ending our marriage. Its difficult to know shed choose someone she doesn't truly know over someone who's been such a part of her life. 14 years and 2 kids together. Now I would just text her occasionally to see how she is doing and such sometimes it seems ok, other times I get ignored completely. She doesn't even text or call to say goodnight to the kids anymore.
My wife told me she didn't love me anymore. I found there were a few things that I had done that made her feel unwanted. She also found there were a few things she perceived differently than what they were. I am not working on being a better husband and showing her through conditional love that I am here for her when she needs it. 2 weeks without arguing. Things seem to be getting better. I do agree with others. Geoffrey you are a great coach.
True Love and I say "true love" is hard to find. It is about great chemistry, the right image, the right attitude, the right heart, the right work ethic, and the right timing when finding someone. At times, image is not everything, but other factors that complement enhance and solidify the relationship. But there are times when the man and woman will leave someone "Or dump" someone just because their partner has lost looks (due to age or to disease). May God (Christ, The Universe, Earth, and Life help you find the love of your life, and may it be forever [eternal]. No one wants to grow old along with being alone and watching re-runs of the Price Is Right with Bob Barker. July 6, 2021, Tuesday.
Hi Jay, Safety & trust is the foundation for any relationship to thrive and survive any challenges. Once we learn the right processes (frameworks, mindsets & identity shifting) we are empowered with the crucial skills to turn EVERY negative into positive. 🙂
We haven't touched in about 3 years. Holdiher hand now would look like begging. What can I do, if anything, when it's been bad, and roommates only for over 3 years???
What about weird scenarios though. Like long distance in the Military? Im currently getting ready to seperate from the military in less than 2 weeks. I don't have a choice, but to call and text. We've beeen apart for a little over 7 months now because she moved home early to secure a job and all of that!. Then 2 weeks from me about to be home she says shes just not happy, and wants a divorce. What am I supposed to do then? I want to hear her out and do all of these things. Do you think things will just be different when I'm home again? I have realized that i was trying really hard and basically making it my responsibility to ensure she was happy after the move, because I felt like I had pulled her from her family and all that to begin with. I realize now she made that decision because she saw something in me, and saw us being happy. However, it seems like the more I tried to make sure she was happy the more unhappy she was and the more resentment I started gaining resentment for myself because I decided it was my responsibility. I see now that I actually never needed to try. Not to say i didnt care, and that I plan on giving up. I just never needed to try to be "perfect". I basically changed the blueprint that I already had that made her happy and to fall in love with me to begin with! I changed myself from trying too hard! I realize I dont have to try to change anymore. I don't have to "Try" for anything anymore. Just being me is good enough and always has been. I'm excited about finally being home, and now I can properly prioritize all of OUR wants and needs. It's going to be the best scenario our marriage has ever been in as far as our individual happiness. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to give one last go with positive expectation right now with such a huge positive life change for BOTH sides about to happen. I realize now I can help her, and be apart of her happiness. I can't MAKE her happy though! I don't need to try, I just need to be myself and be happy and enjoy doing things for and with her again. How do I know if it's actually too late though?
Maaan I needed this right now. i'm going through this right now my wife said this last week because I said without respect our relationship will not work and I do not if I can do this anymore which was a HUUUGE mistake!!!!
Maaaan this is what I need right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried saying to my wife if we don't respect each other our relationship will not work and she blew up because divorce and leaving is what I tried calling her bluff before which was in the first stages of our marriage. Been together for 27 years and married for 15 now and I cannot let her go.
Geoffrey, all 5 pillars have been broken. For 5 months shes been in a ldr with a man she met on World of Warcraft. She wont talk about him, i looked thru her phone and found it becaus ei FELT it. We still live together, she wont leave. She doesnt respect me, i wasnt helping out like i should woth our 2 kids. She doesnt trust me to open up to me. We only talk about the kids. We are miles apart but we live together. Geoffrey all of this is my own fault. I never really built a true emotional safety pillar for her. The man she met online, lives in another state. She told him she wants to takenout girls and be with him. Geoffrey I love this woman, not just because of her looks or sex. I need to be a better man because i dont ever want to push a woman that far away from me again. I own it 100%. She will NOT talk to me about him at all. She sleeps all day and stays up until 3am to play World of Warcraft with him and theyre sexting and sending videos, hes turning her on big time. Shes talking about doing things with him she never did with me. Geoffrey have you had cases like this before that were reconcilable? we are not married. She did tell me she wanted to stay for our family, about 2 weeks ago,, but nothing has changed. Im working on not reacting when i see her on the laptop playing with him. She ignores the kids, and me when shes on themphone texting him. Can you help me change?
Well I asked the right questions, she's been avoiding telling me the truth. I was told today that she no longer is in love with me. I didn't react I took it calmly and I asked her what made her feel this way. I'm currently a 1000 miles away. I'm in military training and it's hard to do this over the phone.
Back when my parents were young , they had countless arguments and fights, but they never refused to leave each other for the pettiest of reasons. Today's relationship crumble big time People have this high ego all the time, they refuse to communicate even the simplest of things, no text,no calls, nothing and just out of the blue they decide to not stay with you. Man they re a big headache no seriously
She doesn't talk too me and greet me like always like before... And now she says she doesn't love me anymore... And don't force her too faking her love for me what should I do..I'm crying like mad.. like a cry baby right now hurt so bad
Hi Geoffrey, what if we're separated and she'll only communicate through text not even a phone call and is a bit distant latley. Should we just message if I can't get her in person??
What if things are so bad, you can't start with non-verbal touch? He doesn't even barely want to be in the same room as me.. when I get close to him he says don't touch me! So idk where to start..
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Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
She's home,,, now what? Lol
How can I apply some of the teachings here on a long distance relationship? I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years. We have a 2 year old daughter. We planned to start living together this year, but COVID19 has delayed everything. It is difficult to communicate over the phone.
Hi there.. i realy have a problem like this with my wife and i realy wana win her heart back.. what shoul i do! Will i wait her untill shes cooling down. Or shiuld i talk to her. I realy dont know what to do
hey @geoffrey this is a very nice advice that i could use, however, we havent seen each other personally since march and we broke up in july. i don't know when we could meet up in person. would it be fine to wait until then? it has been a month since we broke up and i'm really scared that she might go farther away or find someone else. hope you will respond, thank you.
@Geoffrey Setiawan Been watching your videos for a little while now. Currently something going on with my relationship and yes everything in the relationship pyramid occurred for her to say she’s no longer in love with me. We talked about everything and she told me she trusts me She told me how she feels but another thing she said she’s no longer bothered no more. She just needs time to herself for think. What do I do at this point and is there anything I can do. She’s okay with having contact and texting and hanging out. But what do I do at this point. Please and thank you.!
I really like this guy ,,, probably the best coach on TH-cam.
Honored to hear that Eric! :)
Facts!
I think so, too!! Amazing depth..
Wait until you join his program, holy shit. Life changing.
@@GeoffreySetiawan.i just entered a relationship and she stopped talking to me..she said i do lots of wrong things ..pls what shud i do.
April 9, 2022: We have been together for more than 2 years. And today she told me she doesn't feel the same way about me like she used to. And she really meant it. I can feel it in her voice.
Thank You for the video.. Will be back here after 1 week.
Edit: April 10, 2022: Just one day later, I went to her house, we began to talk and I confess her all out. And said I will grow myself mentally, and acted likewise.. We both almost burst into tears.. Now I can say we both are happy, cause I can feel her more closely...
Thank You
Can we get an update please
I have the same situation bro.... I hope it work also for me
I have the same situation and we're on long distance right now. I hope this will work for me
@@seafarerslog89did it work for yoy
What I appreciate about you Geoffrey is that you don’t say “give up walk away” like I’ve been hearing daily .. it’s not that easy. I know what love is ! My wife of 17 yrs was killed by a texting teenage driver .. 2013. I loved her. Now I have a partner that we share so much love.
I became needy and supplication ran amok.. she asked me for time and I made every mistake possible but I have yet to feel any anger towards her. I am working on me and feel positive about a reconciliation. You are the first to say positive solutions are possible !
I cannot thank you enough.
I love all your positive comments -- really inspires me as well :)
Hello
,.,.,.,.,I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,.,.
You really are ahead of your time brother, just sayin!
You loved your wife yet you replaced her, nice
Emotional baggage destroys: emotional, psychological safety. Admiration,
Heal emotional baggage
1. Let her express herself
2. Understand the problem
How to open up
1. Start non verbally
2. open ended questions
3. Repeat paraphrase clarify
Solutions
1. Never force a conversation
2. Focus on zero arguments
3. In person please.
Just found your channel. I’m female and I would like to thank you: I feel completely understood. Wishing my bf would listen to your tips...
That's awesome! Thank you for your kind words!
Hello.
,.,.,.I know of a man who can help you out now,.,,..,
Hard to do in person when living 3000 miles apart..any idea?
I went to college to be a game designer, and took classes to think systemically when it comes to fixing video games.
What I love about this channel is that the advice is systemic, it's not looking at little short term bandages and tactics to make things work again for a little while. It's not looking at ways to cling to power, hurt your partner, and make them feel small. It's trying to curry mutual trust, safety, and understanding through hard work, vulnerability, and effort. It accepts, unlike all the common notions, that living with someone else is hard, and there's no substitute to that work. The review between videos makes the core concept very clear in understanding how it is the underlying problem no matter what the surface level issue is.
My wife says she doesn’t love me any more, and doesn’t want to try because she doesn’t think it will change. I still love her and want to keep my family together.
Same here. They all the same. She told me I have another guy and I love him more then I loved you. Move on nothing there to do. Done!
@@alienbox440 wow women really have no heart
Im extremely thankful for the time you have taken to make all these videos. My wife is not in love with me and she doesnt know if she can regain love for me again. Im trying to watch and apply these lessons so i can save my bond with my wife. Thank you geoffrey
I am in the exact situation you are as well. It hurts and I want to save my marriage 💔
@@bearbrewer8517 im two months in and things are far from clear. I have my wifes friendship but not romantic love. Stay strong brother and try to find the best self you can and work on that. Good luck
@@variable7833 Hello… wondering how things are three months later? Any better?
@@variable7833 are things better bro?
@@ApeRiderr she pretended her male coworker was a just a friend untill he was just pas it. And them i fond out he is a registered six child offeri. And i got 12 a 15 and 21 yp. Im still mad lovely guys im bein honest. I miss have the godd/best friend as my wife shes a hunk of ahit to and since I mahe chowe to ive a man like that with our two ramining in that house.... im not goijg bavk. Those POSs dewerve each other otltge.r othrr i always like to help people all lif2e crPpy journeys so if any dude just a guy to talk with we could figure sonethi. Hipe tall are doing better than me.
I'm really not the kind of guy to ever look at this kind of content... But this was really good and I needed this. Thank you
She is being too difficult,she isn’t listening and she just doesn’t care anymore.What do I do? I don’t want to lose her
Hi Tarek Ahmed,
Have you joined my free 90 min master class to see how so many of my clients have had success in restore hope in their relationships once again?
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
She genuinely does not have hope anymore,she does not care about me at all and she thinks she can do whatever she wants.She never reassured me,she always puts me down,she does not support me at all.But at the same time she does not break up with me.She has a few times but I’ve always pulled her closer.
@@tarekahmed7165 sounds toxic brother! Don't try too hard for anyone who isn't willing to put in the same effort
@@Jeeplee_rc your right about this i had the same issue and had to realize to let go of her bc she alr did with me
@tarekahmed7165 could be her giving you alot sht test and to see I your a mountain. Stay on your path I say.
This is the best channel for relationships period.
Thanks man! Appreciate it.🙂
This dude is smart for real... he actually offers a plan and a system based upon the criteria of the situation... pay attention folks
my girlfriend told me she doesnt love me 3 years ago today.
Thank you.
I only hope there's still time.
I pray there is still time for you. I know how this feels as it is my current situation.
Hello..
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,
I'm going through this now
The best ever advice so far that is inspiring and enlightening to me. It gives me strength to continue making positive changes with my wife
@@christopheraldrich7773 yes I do for sure. What do you have in mind?
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
How did it go?
Thank you Gregory you have renewed my hope. I came across your videos and its the best coaching video I've ever listened too and it did open my eyes.
I heard these gut wrenching words and that was the end for me. I went into depression for a week because I was trying but she kept rejecting me as if she was satisfied with my pain. At the same time she was telling me she doesnt want me to leave and she loved me. She was back and fourth wi th her emotions. I got confused and just moved out after a week. I went to work and never came back home. Once a women says that it's over....dont try to fix it. It will only be an ego booster. You will only get pity from her afterwards
When she doesn’t tell u what she wants it makes it harder
This is the second video of you that I've watched. Thank you so much for all the information and advices. I haven't checked yet but do you have a version of this for LDR relationship? Thank you again!
Very simple. Goodbye!
Thanks for watching! Do you have more questions/comments/concerns that we didn't address in this video? If so, leave a comment below!
MY WIFE SAID SHE IS DONE, SHE WANTS A DIVORCE , CAN I TURN IT AROUND. SHE HAS JUST FALLEN OUT OF LOVE AND LOST FAITH IN ME.
Hi sir can you elaborate regarding no contact is not advisable in this situation.
How to start rebuilding in a distance relationship?
@@somaesch2769 I have the same problem.
She isn't able to give me a reason as to why she lost feelings. Mainly because she doesn't know why she did. She didn't want to and she is willing to give it a shot in the future but i'm still terrified. I live in the U.S. and she lives in Germany and I can't lose her. What should I do?
see my problem is I can't get her to even come towards me or even talk to me how do I do that without her getting mad I'd love to have physical touch with her I'd love to get an open conversation but how do I do that?
Thankyou, I'm going to try these ways of talking to her and listening, not because I want her to take me back but because I want her to know I'm not the crappy person she thinks I am.
She's just had our first child 3 months ago, I need to fix this what I broke.
Stress of being a dad and having to live so far from them for work I struggled to cope with that.
Tell me what happened next💔
Hard when they always think there not to blame for anything lol
Preach!
Currently stuck in this situation 😢. I hope this helps 😅. Thank you so much for the advice 😊
City boy summer coming up g
But how can I do that in person when we're a long distance relationship 😟
Don't do this.
Don't give me hope.
The more I am showing him that I am listening and asking open ended questions the more upset it seems to be getting him. He only wants to have conversations with me about dividing our assets so that he can file for divorce. How do I create emotional safety when he doesn’t want to talk about anything other than the divorce. He has no interest in any questions other than this. The more he pushes me the more I do not react and stay super calm, but it seems to just up the ante for him. When he sees that I don’t react, he starts saying stuff like if I don’t start to talk about the divorce, then he will start bringing other women around. How do you navigate a conversation? If all they want to do is focus on saying the most hurtful things, and when you don’t react, they just keep going. he gave me a timeline that I need to give him an answer on dividing our assets. Otherwise he will start seeing other women.
What if she doesn’t wanna speak up about it what do I do then just wait until she’s ready?
Seriously how does this guy know all these...its amazing how he hits the nail on the head
Hey Ly,
Thank you brother! Happy this video was insightful for you. I and all my clients have implemented all these principles to build a thriving relationship.
If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
th-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Client Review Screenshots:
drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
does this apply to me my partner and i got into a fight and i said some awful things not horrible things we got into a small argument and then it turned into a big one about me getting a job of my own [because i was helping her with her job] and i said if i was to get a real job id end up killing myself [to clarify i have autism and adhd and i have very bad anxiety and i havnt been able to work in a real job at all we are both 25 she has her own dog walking business so i was with her so i wasnt anxious] and she left the room and that was it for the night got to next morning and she left for work on her own and i get a message saying we need to talk [as all guys fear these words i panicked heavily] so i panick and proceed to make things worse and by accident i made out one of my messages very suicidal even tho i just went for a walk which i said to her after she had a right panick and after a while i went back home and then she wanted me to go back to my families house so i agreed and i left and she wanted space i then stupidly still messaged her then she said give me space to think things through and so next day i get a message saying[ sorry you will have to come get you things as i cant do this relationship anymore i have fallen out of love for you and i want to work on myself i still care for you and love you but we can be friends] so is there room for me to resolve this rekindle the flame we had coz i know my mistakes in this after having a few days to really thing about it and research things i got to co dependent on her and relied on her WAY to much and it overwhelmed her along with me not listening to past arguments which was 2 we both lacked communication coz of the of previous arguments was we said we will sit down anytime either of us has a issue and talk it out neither of us did this which we should have so if this advice from this video can help me i want to know if its possible for me to rekindle the flame we had coz we was a happy couple shes my world and i dont want to lose her
Is this applicable to an ex who broke up with me in almost a year?
Without more context, it would be impossible for me to answer. But here's something -- the opposite of love is NOT hate, hit indifference. Most people are afraid when their partner is angry at them, but when they should really know it is over is when your partner is completely indifferent to you. Anger means that still care enough to be angry :) Which situation do you think you're in?
@@GeoffreySetiawan I don't know, to be honest. Back then, she told me that "No matter how much you say sorry, I would never forgive you, because reasons" Few months later, we talk for a while, and ranted about the person she replaced me with who broke her heart because of cheating and ghosting. and that's about it. She never talked to me since. When we talk it's just plain normal convo and nothing else. Probably between "Doesnt care" and "Still mad at me"
Great video and tips! Trying to “fix” things out of my control is something that I have learned to let go of, both in friendships and relationships. Thank you for sharing!
Hello
,.,.,,.,,I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,,.,.,.,.
Wife said she doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to try to save marriage, we haven’t been intimate for many years , I can’t even touch her , it’s like I have a disease, we have had arguments over the years, she laughed at me and said I can’t believe you haven’t seen this coming for a while,she said I have been there for her emotional support over the years. please help me save my marriage I love my wife dearly going on 30 years
No point forcing her to love you. It’s hard man but walk away if you’ve tried. You can’t force her to try
I searched for it right after my GF said the same thing to me, This is gold bro, now i can understand it, thx for this
@johnwilliam902 let me guess Alex Bert
After 8 yrs of marriage she thinks we are two different people. Now she wants divorce. Is there any solution for this?
My wife rarely start a conversation. If there is a conversation she starts its just small talks. And she doesnt like to be touched or hold. What should i do?
Ex told me this on Saturday after a month of no contact I said alright no problem take care. We got to this point cuz of her poor communication months of her not saying nothing instead of telling me the issues she was complaining to her friends or family. Like I told her u fcked up not me!! I did the best I could with I had. Why would I want to try with someone who has poor communication skills. So it could happen all over again? I'm good just clicked on this video to see but this seems like way too much work. knowing that I'm going to have to do all the work and fix what she broke. Her lost!!
this is so helpful. finally a video about how to change and understand how she’s feeling ect. i’m not here because my girlfriend says she doesn’t love me anymore but because i can see that coming and i’m too dumb to know what to do. i always say and do the wrong thing and always try and make solutions. this is the most helpful video on youtube thank you
Awesome and thank you so much for the kind words! Made my day!
Hello
,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
@@godstimejude6902 who
My girlfriend told me she didn't feel the same way anymore, she's been really depressed and telling me she's extremely unhappy, with her physical appearance along with school and being stressed from overworking herself, but she tells me there's nothing I can do to make her feel better because I am not the problem. I came here because she said she wanted to wait until winter was over to see if she's just feeling this way because she's depressed, and she gets worse during the winter. I'm trying whatever I can, we've been on and off for Five years, and I've always been the one who broke up with her, im 17 so i was really young and stupid and i really regret what i did. (i never cheated or anything, just broke her heart too many times.) but im trying to make up for it all and trying my best to show her she can trust me now, even if it takes a long time i want to build her trust back no matter what, and make her fall in love with me again.
Hello
Hello ..
,.,.,.,I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,.
@@godstimejude6902 will you respond to his message?
My girlfriend told me she doesn't like anything about me and the only reason she is with me is that she would feel guilty if she said no. I don't get it I thought I was being liked I was trying my best to be likeable
What if there's no love anymore and I say those words(I don't love yu anymore) . Will l be wrong
y is your approach so different!
I love you bro!
you are touching everything i needed to hear!
What if you both are in different regions of the world? How can you talk it out ? In person isn’t easy at this point
How would you go about this if they moved out a week ago & don’t want to text/ talk to you? Great advice I really appreciate just don’t know how to reach out to here in these times.
Love the coaching; best on TH-cam! I
Im going through the worst breakup in my life and none of these things seem to apply at all! I really wish someone could help me!!! Im a terrible mental state!!
Is there a way to talk to you?
Hi TheTrailDancer,
Yes, I work one on one with all of my clients, but first before you consider joining my program come join my in my free masterclass to see if this program is right for you and at the end you can submit your application to join.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
How can I do these when she doesnt want to talk to me to see me I feel like my only chance is no contact at least for some time, I did what you said while breaking up it was a good break up no fight nothing she talked about the problems I listened and she said she doesnt love me anymore please help.( 2 year rship)
I like this guy pretty clear and direct answers - tho he's young which might make you skeptical but seems like a straight shooter 👍
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,.
Dammit! My relationship is long distance ugh!!
You said on a previous video that you should not contact and give her space. Now you say that's wrong. I am confused.
Everybody says - move on. I can't move on, I can't move on again. Thanks for giving me hope, I was ready to do physical harm to myself, anything to get my mind off the loss of my fiance.
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Same boat my friend
I've tried so hard for so long
She has so many people in her ear telling her I'm not good enough
I don't know what to do anymore... it's so Joeover guys
I liked your comment to start it off
Thanks
Np
I’m long distance so what should I do my girlfriend is 6 hours away from me and prob won’t want to see me
What do you do if she has already met someone who is making her happy and making her emotionally safe
I've discussed this in SO MANY of my videos and interviews, so what I am about to say below is SOME of it, but not all. So much more I can say...
When I was in this position, I said to myself - If my wife finds someone better than me, GOOD! I want her to be happy.
So instead of forcing my wife to stay with me, knowing that I wasn't part of that 1%...
I asked myself - How can I become the 1%, faster and better than she can find anywhere else?
P.S. Just like I say in many of my videos, being the 1% is not just about money, but everything. (Spiritually, emotionally, etc...)
Like I always say, real high-value men aren't afraid to give their partner choices/freedom, because they know that they will choose them.
Only men of low value are afraid. If you are afraid, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself...
1) Am I really that high value?
2) Do I REALLY care about her happiness?
3) If I don't believe in my own value, why should I expect her to?
4) If I am coming from such a selfish place, why should I expect her to spend her one and only life with me and never look elsewhere?
5) If I really think that my partner is such a wild animal that if given freedom, she will abandon all morals and betray people, then why is it mystery that she never felt safe and wants to get out if that's how lowly you think of her? I mean, would YOU want to stay with someone who thinks so lowly of you?
6) If you PULL and FORCE her to stay, do you really think you can sleep soundly at night? Do you not realize that the threat of other men will ALWAYS be there? Do you not realize that the ONLY way to true security is to become the 1%? Think about it.
Remember - Give people enough freedom so they CAN leave, but treat them well enough so they won't want to.
You keep on saying she, does this mean this only applies if the girl doesn’t love him anymore?
My wife walked out two months ago and says she isn’t in love with me anymore, isn’t attracted to me and hasn’t been for a very long time. We’ve been together 13 years. We can go to dinner together or take our kids shopping but I don’t know how to get my wife to have feelings for me again. She refuses to try and says she has no interest in being married to me anymore. Is it hopeless?
Today she text me she’s not in love with me . We’ve had very little contact since June . I need help
I feel fear about beginning this conversation because it will surface all the "negatives" making her reflect and feel worse about our relationship... any advice?
I want to talk in person but we're in a long distance relationship please suggest something to talk with her in on call or text
It is the end 18 years and my wife said thats it separated 3 months tried to get her back she doesnt want to know 2 new bitches as friends 15 months ago our marriage gone down since she been friends with them
What if she is cheating and spending all her time with someone else. Should I really bother or move out like I did?
She’s for the streets
@adaml7349 I wanted to save a 22-year marriage with children. It's been three months, and I found myself again, she is a narcissist to the core and drained me of everything. The rebuilding of my life is fantastic! I love life again.
If or when the kids are grown get yourself down to the Philippines or Thailand and get you a real women brother!
@bs6940 My mother is Asian My father met her in her country, and she tried to shoot my brother and father. Just because they act well in the beginning. it doesn't mean they are all good people. Don't buy into that fantasy so quickly.
There are good and bad people everywhere and in all walks of life.
My father made plenty of money, and she had everything.
A lot to work with in this VDO, thanks Geoffrey ! One of the key things in love and friend relationship is communication !
what if my ex doesn’t want to talk & even see me?
What if you live long distance? Is a call okay
She just said / sometimes i just wanna be single
You mentioned that while trying to rebuild the love, don’t call or text or chat. But what if that’s all you have as a means of communication?? What then do you do?
Hi Falk, you have to appeal to emotions which cannot happen via texting. Join the free master class and you can learn how to communicate in a different way and appeal directly to emotions and turn things around.
I agree. It goes both ways. They left maybe for a reason. If they come back maybe we can talk. Gods plan
Hello
,.,,..I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,.
So I've been with her for about 4 years and I she's been drifting away I would say, so I asked her if she still loved me, she asked why, I told her that she hasn't been acting like it and she said she doesn't think so, it really hurts but I'm trying my best to stay positive we are still together and we are on good terms, it just that she probably doesn't feel anything for me anymore
Hi, this video will be perfect to understanding why your partner is pulling away and what to do about it.
th-cam.com/video/LK0gJ7oFciE/w-d-xo.html
i have a question please ive been in realtion ship with my fiance for 6 years im 35 and she's 24 after all this time she send me a msg i dont love you anymore and i have no feeling foe you we tried to talk 2 times in a very gd way but it still dosent have feelings for me so she left again after that i called try to fix thinks but she keept told me i wana move one i dont love you so i just move away because she sais i wana try my life alone do things with out you please let me go then i told her ofcourea its your life i want talk to you no more is that makes u comftible and it been 10 days aftee broking up and 6 days no comtact between us i have to mutch pain what can i do if i call her or try to see her she will not feel ok
Im in this situation right now and we are in ldr.. Can u help me what to do or to say..
Fb link doesn't work anymore.
What if we are in a long distance and in two different countries?
Thank you so much. My fiancé told me 3 days ago that she didn’t love me anymore and that she didn’t know why, but she’s willing to try and resolve it. The next day I found this video and implemented the way you advised to question. Had results already, after just two days of asking. Obviously not resolved just like that, but you’ve given me hope and for that I thank you and have signed up for the 5 step program on Tuesday.
Love it! Don't stop there. Keep it going.
@@GeoffreySetiawan I’ve just took part in the 5 step masterclass, took notes and will work on them. I couldn’t afford the program unfortunately but I feel more confident and I’m a very open person when it comes to looking within and making positive change. I will persist in what you’ve taught me so far and will continue to watch your TH-cam videos for a deeper insight. It’s the best I can do at present. Thanks again
She stopped listening to me so this vid needs to wirk
I have no choice but to text n talk on phone I'm working out of state at the moment
How do you maintain contact if she needs space?
There's a fine balance here. But this question suggests that you may be thinking about this/trying to approach this the wrong way. The better question is 1) How should you convey to your partner that your door is open, and 2) What do you do when you do have contact so that you're slowly drawing her closer in.
so is this for couples or yourself.. clarify please?
I'm so glad i clicked on this video because at first i didn't know about that pyramid which actually made sense because she always lies to me and never tells me her problem thus meaning i destroyed the foundation which is Emotional Safety
omfg i reacted badly too when she told me she want to broke up but then we just made up. I know that what i did was bad and i still went through it. omfg I'm so stupid. I'm really fucking sorry
My girlfriend just broke up with me a couple hours ago. She told me that her feelings has been fading since December. I did everything that i could think of so i can bring her love back but everything i do fails and it messed me up real bad. What's worse is we are still on a quarantine and that sucks because i thought our relationship was just based on seeing each other face-to-face. I want her back because I'm afraid that another man will come take her away from me.
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,,..
My wife doesn’t even want me to touch her
I wish I watched this video a year ago.
Good stuff man. Good stuff.
Welcome back!
Why would you try to regain it? If they lose their feelings at any time then I see it as it's not worth it if they can lose it then it's not meant to be. It seems really wrong and in natural to try to get it back. Should always last.
Hello
,..,..,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,.
After 10 years my gf broke up... and you are right!.. i have psychic problems which i have to solve first before i go into another relationship.. we slept in seperate beds because i didnt want to hurt her because of my bad night dreaming... i wasnt emotional stable because i was a people pleaser so in the first 4 years i always talked about our problems with her.. she blocked so me too.. i would have to stay stable now i have priblems to speak about problems while she openes herself.. if you are not emotional stablr you are not masculine and that is not attractive! I was sporty, i was doing homework, i have good money, but i was emotional unstable sooo masculinity is mental stability!
Will she love me if i subscib and coment
Thank you for your insight. What if she shows no sign at all for communication towards our marriage, we're separated for 2 months right now, she acts like I'm nobody now, like a stranger, been together 14 years married 10, 2 kids. When I try to talk about "us" she says it just drains her energy out of her.
Hey Robert -- Usually, when people say that it is tiring, or that they do not have the energy to want to fix the relationship, what they are really saying is that nothing has really changed in their perspective, and they are having a difficult time seeing a different future when perhaps you, or the situation hasn't really changed. What you need to do now is to begin turning around your paradigms and approach completely and begin working on yourself big time. Slowly, she will begin to see these changes -- and only when she really believes that these changes are real and permanent, that's when things begin to REALLY change. I know that sounds quite vague -- but let me know if I can be of further help here.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you for your response. I might also add that I found out that she has been messaging another man since late October, she says they're "just friends, " but I seen the messages and they are romantic in nature, not friendly. I believe it's just emotional between them, she says they've never met, but she still sees no wrong talking to another man so much before ending our marriage. Its difficult to know shed choose someone she doesn't truly know over someone who's been such a part of her life. 14 years and 2 kids together. Now I would just text her occasionally to see how she is doing and such sometimes it seems ok, other times I get ignored completely. She doesn't even text or call to say goodnight to the kids anymore.
@@robertpayne7639 It is definitely difficult! Let me know how I can help :)
Hello
,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
My wife told me she didn't love me anymore. I found there were a few things that I had done that made her feel unwanted. She also found there were a few things she perceived differently than what they were. I am not working on being a better husband and showing her through conditional love that I am here for her when she needs it. 2 weeks without arguing. Things seem to be getting better.
I do agree with others. Geoffrey you are a great coach.
But we in LDR 😢
True Love and I say "true love" is hard to find. It is about great chemistry, the right image, the right attitude, the right heart, the right work ethic, and the right timing when finding someone. At times, image is not everything, but other factors that complement enhance and solidify the relationship. But there are times when the man and woman will leave someone "Or dump" someone just because their partner has lost looks (due to age or to disease). May God (Christ, The Universe, Earth, and Life help you find the love of your life, and may it be forever [eternal]. No one wants to grow old along with being alone and watching re-runs of the Price Is Right with Bob Barker. July 6, 2021, Tuesday.
Hi Jay,
Safety & trust is the foundation for any relationship to thrive and survive any challenges.
Once we learn the right processes (frameworks, mindsets & identity shifting) we are empowered with the crucial skills to turn EVERY negative into positive. 🙂
We haven't touched in about 3 years. Holdiher hand now would look like begging. What can I do, if anything, when it's been bad, and roommates only for over 3 years???
What about weird scenarios though. Like long distance in the Military? Im currently getting ready to seperate from the military in less than 2 weeks. I don't have a choice, but to call and text. We've beeen apart for a little over 7 months now because she moved home early to secure a job and all of that!. Then 2 weeks from me about to be home she says shes just not happy, and wants a divorce. What am I supposed to do then? I want to hear her out and do all of these things. Do you think things will just be different when I'm home again? I have realized that i was trying really hard and basically making it my responsibility to ensure she was happy after the move, because I felt like I had pulled her from her family and all that to begin with. I realize now she made that decision because she saw something in me, and saw us being happy. However, it seems like the more I tried to make sure she was happy the more unhappy she was and the more resentment I started gaining resentment for myself because I decided it was my responsibility. I see now that I actually never needed to try. Not to say i didnt care, and that I plan on giving up. I just never needed to try to be "perfect". I basically changed the blueprint that I already had that made her happy and to fall in love with me to begin with! I changed myself from trying too hard! I realize I dont have to try to change anymore. I don't have to "Try" for anything anymore. Just being me is good enough and always has been. I'm excited about finally being home, and now I can properly prioritize all of OUR wants and needs. It's going to be the best scenario our marriage has ever been in as far as our individual happiness. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to give one last go with positive expectation right now with such a huge positive life change for BOTH sides about to happen. I realize now I can help her, and be apart of her happiness. I can't MAKE her happy though! I don't need to try, I just need to be myself and be happy and enjoy doing things for and with her again. How do I know if it's actually too late though?
Maaan I needed this right now. i'm going through this right now my wife said this last week because I said without respect our relationship will not work and I do not if I can do this anymore which was a HUUUGE mistake!!!!
Maaaan this is what I need right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried saying to my wife if we don't respect each other our relationship will not work and she blew up because divorce and leaving is what I tried calling her bluff before which was in the first stages of our marriage. Been together for 27 years and married for 15 now and I cannot let her go.
Geoffrey, all 5 pillars have been broken. For 5 months shes been in a ldr with a man she met on World of Warcraft. She wont talk about him, i looked thru her phone and found it becaus ei FELT it. We still live together, she wont leave. She doesnt respect me, i wasnt helping out like i should woth our 2 kids. She doesnt trust me to open up to me. We only talk about the kids. We are miles apart but we live together. Geoffrey all of this is my own fault. I never really built a true emotional safety pillar for her. The man she met online, lives in another state. She told him she wants to takenout girls and be with him. Geoffrey I love this woman, not just because of her looks or sex. I need to be a better man because i dont ever want to push a woman that far away from me again. I own it 100%. She will NOT talk to me about him at all. She sleeps all day and stays up until 3am to play World of Warcraft with him and theyre sexting and sending videos, hes turning her on big time. Shes talking about doing things with him she never did with me. Geoffrey have you had cases like this before that were reconcilable? we are not married. She did tell me she wanted to stay for our family, about 2 weeks ago,, but nothing has changed. Im working on not reacting when i see her on the laptop playing with him. She ignores the kids, and me when shes on themphone texting him. Can you help me change?
God I wish i found you three months ahi
Better late than never! :D
Hello
,.,.,..I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,.
Well I asked the right questions, she's been avoiding telling me the truth. I was told today that she no longer is in love with me. I didn't react I took it calmly and I asked her what made her feel this way. I'm currently a 1000 miles away. I'm in military training and it's hard to do this over the phone.
Back when my parents were young , they had countless arguments and fights, but they never refused to leave each other for the pettiest of reasons.
Today's relationship crumble big time
People have this high ego all the time, they refuse to communicate even the simplest of things, no text,no calls, nothing and just out of the blue they decide to not stay with you.
Man they re a big headache
no seriously
She doesn't talk too me and greet me like always like before... And now she says she doesn't love me anymore...
And don't force her too faking her love for me what should I do..I'm crying like mad.. like a cry baby right now hurt so bad
How would one do this in an ldr?
Hi Geoffrey, what if we're separated and she'll only communicate through text not even a phone call and is a bit distant latley. Should we just message if I can't get her in person??
What if things are so bad, you can't start with non-verbal touch? He doesn't even barely want to be in the same room as me.. when I get close to him he says don't touch me! So idk where to start..