Young ladies, learn about menopause before you get here. I am so angry that everyone only talks about the hot flashes because that is not even one of my top 5 problems. The inability to control my emotions having this on top of PMDD and ADHD is so hard I can't even find the words to explain it to you.
I feel this. And SO agree. I'm 40 and it has started. Let's not talk about my hormones being out of wack from having a baby 2.5 years ago. I'm pretty sure I've been Dysregulated for the last 3.5- 4 years. Honestly this video and understand everything my body is going through... Is regulating me. I just got my hair cut yesterday after doing no self care for almost 3 years! 😢🫣 🙌🏻
Waving here with a premature ovarian failure diagnosis at 30, aka early menopause. It's rare but push the doctors to test you, went to 5 doctors at 26 who wouldn't test me now I'm out of eggs at 33 wanting kids dealing with the crazy anger and sadness and numbness that comes with my hormones being out of whack.
Already there kind of... perimenopausal (46) hot flushes are in my top 5. Estradot body-identical patch and utrogeston micronised capsules have helped greatly but of course there's still the ADHD and autism. 🙂
Finally, the medical world figured out that the huge old Women’s Health Study was skewed & wrong about HRT. It doesn’t cause dementia or cardiovascular disease, in fact for MOST women, it prevents that & can be used till death. Not all docs get it. If they don’t respectfully answer your questions & be willing to try it if you are interested, get someone else. There is even testosterone replacement for women (we make & need that too. Hot flashes, arthritis feelings, mood & cognitive issues suck. Why not deal with them with what is available? However…educate yourself. There are docs who will prescribe anything without follow-ups(blood tests, questions, listening, etc). I believe in better living thru modern chemistry, knowing we are damned if we do, damned is we don’t & to steer my course to the best of my ability. But I’m not a gullible supplement taker either. 🤷🏻♀️. Good luck, live well & prosper.
@@sammfabish5230 work out a way to work for yourself! Even if it's humble. I work for myself (service business) and I'm 7 years in. Prior to that I couldn't hold a job for longer than a year.
Um, wow. You ever hear something that triggers a gut response in you, and you go, "I need to deal with that"? Because hearing, "being emotional is beautiful," sent a flood of no, no, wrong, incorrect through me. And, uh, yeah, that's not good. I am nearly tearing up about it.
gotta love being overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. on one hand, i feel like work is a bit dull and i dont have enough energy for my projects when im at home so im doing a lot of passive entertainment thats understimulating. on the other hand i am around so many people every day at work, socializing a lot and i am on my feet the whole time, lifting and moving things and my body is starting to complain about this and i dont want to socialize outside of work cause im overstimulated, but the that also makes me feel more lonely. yay. gotta love adhd and whatever else is going on in my head
You just described my life 😅 I wish I didn’t have to work so I wouldn’t have to spend all of my mental and physical energy on it. I like being creative and social but I’m so drained and overstimulated by the end of the day/week of working I just tend to watch YourTube in bed.
I think what sucks the most about gathering information like this is that I feel like I can't do anything with it. Most techniques, most tools, are designed for persons who are not a primary care giver of an entire other person. I'm having to learn all of these intense, unchangeable, essentially untreatable things about myself while caring for not just myself and it seems like everything actually helpful is only achievable when caring only for yourself.
❤ I hear you... I'm there too. I get through it with much less time-consuming solutions. Not all are ideal - like, I don't get enough sleep or eat home cooked meals or anything - but I mostly manage. At the worst times, I put on an ASMR video and put in headphones, wrap myself up like a burrito in my duvet and fall asleep for an hour while rocking a bit. Can't do that often because someone has to be watching my son for an hour, but it helps when I've reached a point of not being able to function. I don't have time to journal so I turn off the car radio when driving alone and just talk to myself 😂 it's usually like 5 minutes but it works well enough ... in our situations, we just have to make do... hang in there 🫂
I had never thought of my depression and disconnection as a part of my dysregulation before. It makes sense, but I also have bipolar disorder so anything not bipolar depression was put in the "eh I guess people just normally feel this sometimes"
I was diagnosed with bipolar without thorough knowledge of my situation and background and I felt the diagnosis is not right. Learning about autism and ADHD makes me believe this is what I have
@@Philanthropyuae bipolar disorder is a common misdiagnosis for women who are actually adhd. In my case bipolar medication has been life saving and changing, so I'm pretty sure I just got the multiple of neurodivergence. But I know a lot of people who were misdiagnosed as bipolar who are actually ADHD
Wow, your timing. I lost my job and have been feeling sad and having lots of digestive issues. I've also noticed an even more difficult time focusing and losing things more often. I've been very overwhelmed and emotional as well. Being aware of what's going on totally helps to start fixing things. Thank you and thank the youtube algo for connecting me to this channel!
Hi, a bit late but to anyone out there struggling with the aspect of being kind to yourself, here's what works for me: I find talking to myself whilst looking at the bathroom mirror helps. It probably sounds weird, but because I'm making eye contact with my reflection, I can see the impact that my words have on me so am therefore more inclined to be kinder towards myself. It makes me less critical and address the issue as if speaking to a family member or friend. Hope this helps and to anyone struggling with this at the moment, you're strong and more valuable than you could ever imagine. Keep going, I believe in you :)
Thank you for this video. It explains why I've been feeling off recently. My family went from 3 to 1 car (my car). I am remote for now but I didn’t realize that I took it as a complete loss of freedom since my mom was using my car. Add to the fact that she was not taking car of it in the way I like did not help. Her car is fixed now but I'm climbing out of the overstimulation hole now. Having a new environment to work in (going in the office this week) will help for sure. For context, I learned to drive at 22 and got my first/dream car at 25. I paid off the car last Oct (2 years early) by myself despite people not believing in me (except my bestie!). I even got a better job because I can drive now. So that car is a tangible symbol of me living a more adult life. Probably doesn't mean much to others but it was everything to me. This video helped me realize that things like this will happen and I can go at my own pace to work through it. 😊
You are doing very well. I am sorry that your mum did not value your car as well as you would like. I hope you can communicate effectively with her about that at some time.. but unless you have the same agreement with her as i do with my mum, which is that we are both allowed to yell if we need do... And to hang up the phone suddenly it we need to, i hope you find a time when you and your mum are calm and free. Boundaries are reeeeeaaaly important and i hope you mum understands this soon. ( I am 58, so probably older than your mum and i am pulling rank!! Hahha! I dont want any of my gen x people disrespecting boundaries. It took us so long to learn about them for ourselves. ) Adulting is hard at any age. You are doing really well.
I call the two states of dysregulation burnout and boreout. Just came out of the overstimulated dysregulation with insomnia and panic attacks. For me it helped to be taken seriously by doctors and getting help - just the feeling of not being left alone with this. And then I also did the six steps you suggested and meditation and the 4-7-11 breating technique. It takes time but after 3 months it got better and I started to sleep better. I got some emergency appointments from a therapist but not for my adhd. But it helped nevertheless. Just because I had some social connections and appointments and would not stay home alone all the time.
This is exactly what I needed to listen to today. I have been so depressed lately. And now I am recognising it as being dysregulated. I had made the decision yesterday to start looking after myself. With what you mention as the 6 essentials and I recognise that hygiene is my catalyst. Thank you for being real in your video. And I have literally been crying the entire week 😢
That was amazing! I knew a lot of this but hadn't connected the dots. Like, why walking helps some days and not others (different disreg). Sending this to every ND I know! 🎉
I now have a page in my journal full of notes from this video, thanks a lot, Hayley!!🤘 I wish I had this video before, since I now realize I probably have been dysregulated for the last 4+ months and did almost nothing to help myself to get out of it. Luckily I had a great therapist by my side and a recent AuDHD diagnosis, which pushed me to work towards something! I now know that I'm probably slowly getting out of my dysregulated period, I'm going to start a new job soon, in a new country, so I'll keep practicing your "during dysregulation" tips and the "preventative measures" later on. The "catalyst" concept.....? Fucking GENIUS, you might just have changed my life with that! 😱❤🔥
I echo many other folks in the comments - this video found me when I absolutely needed it. I have suspected that I have undiagnosed ADHD for about a year now, after about 30 years of thinking I'm a depressed, anxious failure of a human being. I have been aware that I have been in a "burnout" state but it felt more "crazy" than usual, (I know, it's not the best word but it's how my brain makes me feel), dealing with more suicidal ideation, etc.... and it's the dysregulation. I didn't even make it through the full video, I just stopped and finally spent the time finding a telehealth clinician that could get me in for an intake appointment - something I have been thinking about doing (and started and failed SO many times) for about 9 months (after deciding that I need telehealth because I can't continue the painful cycle of finding an in-person therapist, then flaking out after like 3 visits because I can't make it to the appointments and cancelling and rescheduling, and wasting money on cancellation fees... etc.). Your video motivated me not to give up over the 4 hour saga of searching for all of my insurance information, figuring out how I can even find someone that my insurance takes, finding a place and then them saying that they actually don't offer what their website said they did, crying out of frustration and disappointment, BUT then remembering that I promised myself this time I would make it happen no matter how frustrating it was or how long it took, and tackled it again. I DID IT! And now I'm crying out of exhaustion and relief, which is it's own issue (and also a tell-tale sign of dysregulation for me, crying or almost crying about so many things that to other people makes zero sense). Anyway, THANK YOU!!!
Whoo hoo! Exactly what we have to do. We are worth it & have to realize that nothing is a straight line to what we need. We have to do it in spite of the curves! Plus It’s a constant road we travel.
I hardly comment on any video on TH-cam at all, but I really felt the need to tell you: this video itself just helped me regulate my emotions right now and motivated me to put in the work. Not everyone has access to good therapy, adequate treatment or advising in general and sharing what's been going on with you, how you've been managing it and doing it responsably, put it the work of doing a research, it's such a great thing. Thank you for putting yourself out there and I hope this is as helpful for you as it's been for me and certainly many others. Thank you :)
Crying in the bathroom at work because I wish all the doctors I’ve seen would have just told me this rather than putting me on medication. I always had a feeling there was something else I could do, I was just never given the information. Thank you
Crying with you today has been helpful. I’ve been dysregulated for months now with only about a week of feeling a little more stable before continually falling back down. Crying with someone who has recently gone through/is going through the same felt validating I guess. Thanks for making the content you do.💜
Thank you for this! I am pretty much all the things. Can a person be both over and understimulated at the same time? If so, I am. Crying can be a tool for regulation. Certainly, don't unpack and live there, but a few tears now and again can be a reset button.
So the crazy making part about this, is that I'm often disregulated in BOTH directions at the same time. My autistic brain is burned out and my adhd is bored-out and trying to find JUST the right stimulation/sensory deprivation to HEAL is the friggin goldilocks story.
I've been really struggling with meltdowns or just overall emotional dysregulation causing me to breakdown. I keep coming back to this video and it's a great reminder that I'm not alone and these days are going to happen from time to time
Watching it at speed is helping my brain, wow, I didn't think that would work. I've been told so many times that I'm in adrenal overload, my nervous system is a disaster, etc etc.
This is so wildly helpful to learn about! All of this hits home for how I've been feeling for months now. I've been viewing this as autistic burnout and maybe it is. Is there a lot of overlap between dysregulation and burnout? The ways to address dysregulation are pretty similar to the suggestions from my coach on working my way out of burnout: trying to prioritize my needs and rebuild trust in myself to not push too hard or be too unkind to myself.
I just went through a month and a half of Dysregulation and I 100% believed I was in a burn out or depressed. It's so so important to KNOW what's going on so you can fix it. Unfortunately when I'm in those dysregulated states, my brain likes to have suicidal ideations so thankfully I have a therapist and my husband and God to lean on for help through those because nobody wants to deal with that alone. Thank you Hayley for helping us neurodivergent folks help ourselves ❤
This upload is a gift, Hayley 😔 was feeling awful this morning due to already lower dopamine than usual due to sleep deprivation and then my morning being flooded with dopamine-sapping things just because I got out of bed, and having to go to work immediate. Then I had to deal with work annoyances, and I opened up ranting about what I'm dealing with as one person living with two cats and how I barely had any time to do a five minute sketch to get my dopamine up for those five minutes, and it all got horrendously worse when a coworker told me to my face that transphobia isn't real, right after I cited it as a reason I can't live with my parents (I'm a trans man). One of the worst things you can say to me in that moment when I am already very visibly and audibly not having a good day, and I got to go home early, and am about to go to my second job. Ten hour workdays don't work for me because they don't allow me time in the morning to give myself the dopamine I need to function and be peaceful. I shall continue watching this happy video, thank you for this 🥺🥺🥺
Beautifully put, and thank you Hayley for allowing yourself to cry on camera. It really helps me to connect with your story to see that raw emotion and it validates how difficult the experience of dysregulation truly is.
This video really helped me, I had never heard of disregulation but I now realize that I have struggled with it several times before. Thank you for making this❤
I’m sure someone has posted this already but I don’t wanna read all the comments lol- but you can actually be both experience under stimulation and over stimulation at the same time but within different areas. Such as under stimulation in your emotions (not feeling feelings to their fullest etc) but over stimulation with your physical (tight muscles etc)! Good to also think about!
I just want you to know how much your content genuinely means to me. I struggled so hard as a young adult because my ADHD therapy as a kid was SOLELY focused on skills for school. I was also told by multiple doctors that I would "grow out of it" and BOY OH BOY did that not happen. 🤣 Your content may not always reflect my ADHD and autism because we're all different human beings, but the amount of support and connection I feel just from your content is so special! 🥰
This video is a godsend for me today. I’m thankfully out of the worst dysregulation of my life but it’s still an everyday effort to maintain my health and regulation..I also need to remember that my capacity changes daily and that it’s ok when my capacity is less. I definitely could learn some compassion for myself. I’m grateful I have people in my life who help me out when I’m not there for myself. I love your energy!!
🥺 i would like to take this time and say, i finished this video in one sitting. and i know that has nothing to do with the topic, but i am extremely proud of myself. 🎃🎃 it was slightly emotional to learn about something i might be dealing with now, and when things get too emotional.. i tend to lose focus and walk away. but I didn't, and to that, i have to thank you so so much for taking the time to explain this in such a comforting, kind, and digestible way 🥰 thank you 🎃🎃👻🦇
This video changed my whole perspective. I've been feeling so tired for so long and so unmotivated and have been cutting back on more and more things because I thought I couldn't handle them and it just keeps getting worse. The underactive dysregulation makes so much sense and I think would explain why everything I have been trying hasn't been working. This was so helpful thank you
I allow all feelings without trying to change them, escape from them, distract, etc. My Psil0cybin trips have done wonders to heal my trauma which causes these sorts of symptoms. I can feel a trigger without acting on it now, among an endless list of other improvements. I don't know where I'd be without trips!!!!
it only took 1 video (this video) and you doing the edit with your cat at 05:20 for me to subscribe. That legit made me laugh and is now the highlight of my entire day. Thank you Hayley!!
This has been so validating for me. For almost a year now I've been more dysregulated then I have ever been in my life. when you started crying and talked about how you have been treating your self I instantly started crying because I realized how bad treated my self this year. This has given me the understanding I needed to be kind to myself and take the steps to manage my dysregulation. Thank you Hayley
I wish I could talk this out with my therapist, but I had to stop going at the beginning of the year when my copay for mental health care tripled, putting weekly visits (which I need) beyond my budget. Even monthly visits would be a struggle because I was having to skip visits BEFORE the cost tripled for budget reasons.
Would it be possible for you to find a clinic that allows you to do sliding scale payments for copay? I hope you find a way to get effective therapy that is useful for you and in your budget soon.
Diagnoses have certain “features”, but we don’t perfectly fit a certain box. It’s all a continuum & most of us have a point on several lines. There are certain diagnoses that are pretty hard set: bipolar (way over dx’d i think, when it isn’t real bipolar), schizophrenia, schizoaffective(one i don’t really understand), Anti-social (not sure that’s the term anymore, might just be Sociopathic to Psychopathic. ADHD, ADD, Autistic… seen to blend a bit. I’m really chatty this am. Sorry.
Hit so hard on personal truths that I cried. Got mad that I cried because of what you're saying. LOL'd when you started crying because it felt better to finally not be crying alone. Saving this video cause I was walking & need to listen again to take actual notes.
THANK YOU for your vulnerability and insight, Hayley. I also got a little emotional when you did. I get it. I especially like when you talked about removing yourself from the identity of being lazy, or pissy, or forgetful, ect and instead ID'ing it as a phase and a sign that something is amis.
ohmygosh, this is what I couldn't put into words beyond "i've been going through A LOT OF LIFE EVENTS IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS" when I was going through my initial mental health assessment, gatekeeping thing before being referred for ADHD assessment. They acted like they understood emotional dysregulation then whipped around two weeks later saying, We think you should go on antidepressants for your low mood and I'm just like, what?? NO it's not depression! I have sad stuff I'm trying to process! And I love you for saying Not My Monkeys Not My Circus, that has been my mantra for a while but I keep forgetting it. Totally need it as a tattoo for a visual reminder forever on me.
Can you be overstimulated and under stimulated at the same time? For example, dealing with a lot of emotional stress from situations you can’t control. But the actual day to day activities you do are minimal and executive function is tough.
I feel like I got both every other day/week Was told I was bi-polar then they said naw just depressed and a year ago I got told it's just ADHD... I'm going to ask the docs about this disregulation idea
I’ve heard of classical piano music helping with both at the same time because it’s both stimulatory and calming. I know it has helped me for overstimulation and under-stimulation separately, so if you want to try out that tool it’s available, I personally love Kassia’s piano videos because it doesn’t have intros or outros and it’s got the engaging and calming visuals too. But you also didn’t ask for advice or anything so I won’t mind at all if you legitimately don’t care for that
Thank you for potentially saving me from being sent to a psych ward. I couldnt for the life of me figure out what was going on. Im two weeks into this.
I wish this had come out last November. I recognized that i was dysregulated starting then and finally started to get better in January only to be thrown back into it in February (all job related). Ive started the journey to regulating myself again and finding a new job (cause this one has drained me dry and blamed me for it). Please remember that you dont live to work, you work to live.
I'm new at your channel, English is my second language, and I must say I LOVE THIS! For real... I've been very disregulated lately becuase things are changing (for good some things, like moving in with my bf). But THIS and the Six Essentials: really helpfull for a starter at ADHD (I'm 33 and diagnosed last december xd) Thank you :)
I love that you let us see your person in all as much as possible. It personally helps me relate more. Like when you see people talking about adhd in the internet and giving tips ecc... They seem so on point like they have the key and everything is Always fine. You help me to accept myself and my ups and lows seeing you trying to do that❤
I am 29 weeks pregnant and can absolutely relate to being SO mean to myself about things outside my control. 💔 Thank you for being so vulnerable and encouraging around this 🙏🏻
Thank you for making this video. I knew what I was feeling but I did not know how to say it to other people or they would cut me off before I could finish telling them. This was so helpful!
I love this. It makes me feel less crazy and puts words and reasoning behind my strong/out-of-control feelings ❤ When I have reasoning/understanding behind my feelings, it feels so much less out of my control and easier to tone down.
This reminds me a lot of equilibrium. You can figure out what to do when you are in one phase, but you shifted to a new steady state equilibrium which requires a different toolbox because your ground zero is different. Phase changes are important to recognize. :)
So glad I came accross your video. I was going through a downward spiral for the last 6 months, ended up with crying every day and then burnout. Stuff kept adding to it that I was unable to deal with on a cognitive level because my emotions were SOOO dominant and everything felt worse and worse. Now we had a lot of public holidays, so I had more time to calm down between work, also the weather is getting brighter (Fall and Winter are just horrible for me), and physical issues are being tended to. Now I don't feel depressed anymore and this state of dysregulation you described sounds exactly how I experienced this time! Gotta talk to my psych about it, maybe ADs are not necessary anymore...? 🤔
Timing couldn’t have been more perfect! I just realized that what I’ve been dealing with for the past two weeks is dysregulation. Now you’ve given me some tools to start getting myself centered again.
Wow, thank you so much for this video! I suddenly understand what’s been going on with me the past four months. Almost identical for me, I was triggered by an event outside of my control. Textbook over reactive dysregulation. I think I am coming out of it now because somehow I have been doing some of the management even though I didn’t understand what was going on. A lot of resting! But this is so helpful to finally understand what was/is happening and now I can work on it from a place of awareness!
This was really helpful. I am understanding why I am barely functioning now. Some of those pieces are missing, like not having enough people around me (community). Other challenges (like so many people) having enough money to buy adequate food, and worrying about running out and being hungry, constantly. I need to write down what is important, and what will just have to wait, even if the temporary sacrifices feel extreme, to me. I'm not good at deciphering what is essential, and what can wait Learning to be kinder to myself. I have 'wiring', (like so many others) from childhood and toxic people that were anything but kind and helpful, or forgiving. I am going through something very difficult right now and I need to allow myself space to go through it.. Damn! I make my life sound like a disaster zone. It really isn't. Writing down things that I am grateful for is very helpful, and also writing down what I have already overcome already, is a big boost and gives perspective This is really long 😬. I hope someone finds something useful in all of this!
What’s worked for my emotion dysregulation is guanfacine and DBT. I seriously think more ADHDers need to know about the treatments for emotional dysregulation and how massive of a factor things like rejection sensitivity dysphoria is for ADHD. The Additude talk on emotion regulation by William Dodson (video looks like 1 hour but you only need to see his 25 minutes presentation) convinced me to take guanfacine and it’s been more life changing than adderall for me. I’ve also been doing Dialetical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills; it’s also highly evidence based and something I’d highly recommend.
As someone with bpd, I've been trying to get into a dbt program for ages. Part of the issue with that is there aren't a lot of them available in a lot of places. There's one 40 min from me, but getting a spot is hard, and its a 3 hour, every weekday program in the middle of the day. So unless you're in a major city, it would be tough to find that. There's always the workbooks- I believe doctor fox has one, but it's just not the same as getting that actual interactive training, so to speak. I'm glad youve benefited from it though that is awesome! Hopefully in the future it will be more widely known about, and utilized by more people.
huh, so that is what this is called. now I am sad about a comment I left under another video because it was criticizing something you brought up. love you too.
Hayley!! You have such a gift for sharing your knowledge and experiences in such a comforting and helpful way. It is honestly RE-REGULATING to watch this! I think I get more positive “life-tackling reset” energy from your videos than I do from therapy 😅 Just redid my lil dry erase board and feel like this video was just what I needed today 💜🩵 thanks for doing what you do, in your way, exactly how you do it.
i feel like i've been disregulated for years 😭 for the past month i feel like it's been even worse but it's so fucking hard to ask for help when therapy is so fucking expensive. i'm going to ask for help again the next time i go to the regular doctor, i'm not being able to manage my adhd by myself and feel like caos all the time
Just finding this now and wow, I wish I found it when it posted. This sounds exactly as what I experienced, and weirdly enough, the exact same time frame 😮 My final trigger was in January and felt like that shaken up fizzy soda bottle.
This video was incredibly helpful. As someone who is currently understimulated due to a job where I’m also not necessary, can you speak to your experience more as to what helped during that period?
I don’t know how you do it, but your videos always come to the rescue at just the right time. I was just talking to my friend about this and was having trouble figuring out what’s been going on. Love your content! Thanks for being vulnerable and transparent. It’s definitely helped me do that same in my life lately. ❤
Thanks, Hayley for sharing your experience could you please make a video about how to accomplish daily tasks during a depression episode for neurodivergents
I’m disabled and have been mostly housebound for a few years now, I am genuinely losing my sanity sitting in my tiny room with my AuDHD that I can’t regulate because the fix is always “go outside, have a bath(wish I had one), eat well(can’t cook regularly)” etc etc. I have so many problems, it feels impossible to get on too of them. I’m 34 today, and I’ve left the house three times this year, maybe five times last year. Going insane.
This is a really great video. I've been on sick leave and quit my job a few months ago and officially am diagnosed with severe depression, but this kinda.. Feels more like it. Ill have to look a bit more in the topic. Its a bit difficult since neither my psychiatrist nor my therapist are really familiar with autism..
Wait… this is like me for almost my entire adult life. Occasionally I have bouts of “I’m okay, I can handle this” but there’s never a long term case of being outside of what you’ve described… And it’s all extreme amounts of things happening with periods of not having anything going on after I crash and burn.
Awww. Kitty just wanted to help regulate you. ❤ (I have a feline like that-when I talk about something stressful or difficult, she comes and finds me.)
Hi Hayley, thanks for a beautiful video ❤️ I’m curious about the difference between dysregulation (specifically overstimulated) and stress symptoms, they sound very similar? I got my ADHD diagnosis about a year ago and I’m still learning how to regulate at all, but one of the main reasons I ask is that in Uni I was constantly overwhelmed by the workload of both school work and student activities, where I was “diagnosed” by the school counselor with being overly stressed and had to push back a few courses during my masters. When I started working about two years ago after finishing my degree, I definitely cut down the amount of off-hours “work” I did by only keeping a few of my regular hobby activities and trying very hard to not go to too many student or alumni events after, but it never really felt like I calmed down anyway. I still feel very understimulated unless I have plans most evenings, but I get easily overstimulated when my weeks are filled with friend hangouts and I have no time to cook or clean for myself. It feels like I am still living in a stress state from university, but it also sounds a lot like I have an overstimulated nervous system. It’s gotten better in the past half a year because of my ADHD-diagnosis and working on my routines, but it still lingers. So just curious on your take on stress symptoms versus nervous system regulation!
Awesome content. Glad you talk about it. I experience it all the time. Know your steps to do when you realize you are dysregulated. Good luck! Greetings from the Netherlands
yep i've been going through this lately with the stress of getting into technical college and navigating the confusing world of college and fafsa and whew have i just been over anxious and stressed and snappy for "no reason" (but there IS a reason) !!
Connection with other people is probably the hardest one for me. Especially since I am not physically able to do much with how much pain I'm in and how exhausted I get.
Young ladies, learn about menopause before you get here. I am so angry that everyone only talks about the hot flashes because that is not even one of my top 5 problems. The inability to control my emotions having this on top of PMDD and ADHD is so hard I can't even find the words to explain it to you.
❤
I feel this. And SO agree. I'm 40 and it has started. Let's not talk about my hormones being out of wack from having a baby 2.5 years ago. I'm pretty sure I've been Dysregulated for the last 3.5- 4 years. Honestly this video and understand everything my body is going through... Is regulating me. I just got my hair cut yesterday after doing no self care for almost 3 years! 😢🫣 🙌🏻
Waving here with a premature ovarian failure diagnosis at 30, aka early menopause. It's rare but push the doctors to test you, went to 5 doctors at 26 who wouldn't test me now I'm out of eggs at 33 wanting kids dealing with the crazy anger and sadness and numbness that comes with my hormones being out of whack.
Already there kind of... perimenopausal (46) hot flushes are in my top 5. Estradot body-identical patch and utrogeston micronised capsules have helped greatly but of course there's still the ADHD and autism. 🙂
Finally, the medical world figured out that the huge old Women’s Health Study was skewed & wrong about HRT. It doesn’t cause dementia or cardiovascular disease, in fact for MOST women, it prevents that & can be used till death. Not all docs get it. If they don’t respectfully answer your questions & be willing to try it if you are interested, get someone else. There is even testosterone replacement for women (we make & need that too. Hot flashes, arthritis feelings, mood & cognitive issues suck. Why not deal with them with what is available? However…educate yourself. There are docs who will prescribe anything without follow-ups(blood tests, questions, listening, etc). I believe in better living thru modern chemistry, knowing we are damned if we do, damned is we don’t & to steer my course to the best of my ability. But I’m not a gullible supplement taker either. 🤷🏻♀️. Good luck, live well & prosper.
The description of understimulated dysregulation sounds textbook like every job I've ever had when I get to the point where the job is routine.
THAT'S why I can't stay in any one job for more than 2 years...
@@sammfabish5230 work out a way to work for yourself! Even if it's humble. I work for myself (service business) and I'm 7 years in. Prior to that I couldn't hold a job for longer than a year.
Um, wow. You ever hear something that triggers a gut response in you, and you go, "I need to deal with that"?
Because hearing, "being emotional is beautiful," sent a flood of no, no, wrong, incorrect through me. And, uh, yeah, that's not good. I am nearly tearing up about it.
14:50
The Six Essentials
1. Sleeping Habits
2. Eating
3. Hydration
4. Hygiene
5. Movement
6. Connection to Other People
Thank you for adding this!!
@@bananas-01 Yeah, apparently it's good for us 🤣
There's a few people that are worth the connection, 😂
I love Hailey’s comments section ❤
7. Psycho-somatic self awareness (aka Mindfulness)
gotta love being overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. on one hand, i feel like work is a bit dull and i dont have enough energy for my projects when im at home so im doing a lot of passive entertainment thats understimulating. on the other hand i am around so many people every day at work, socializing a lot and i am on my feet the whole time, lifting and moving things and my body is starting to complain about this and i dont want to socialize outside of work cause im overstimulated, but the that also makes me feel more lonely. yay. gotta love adhd and whatever else is going on in my head
You just described my life 😅 I wish I didn’t have to work so I wouldn’t have to spend all of my mental and physical energy on it. I like being creative and social but I’m so drained and overstimulated by the end of the day/week of working I just tend to watch YourTube in bed.
I think what sucks the most about gathering information like this is that I feel like I can't do anything with it. Most techniques, most tools, are designed for persons who are not a primary care giver of an entire other person. I'm having to learn all of these intense, unchangeable, essentially untreatable things about myself while caring for not just myself and it seems like everything actually helpful is only achievable when caring only for yourself.
❤ I hear you... I'm there too. I get through it with much less time-consuming solutions. Not all are ideal - like, I don't get enough sleep or eat home cooked meals or anything - but I mostly manage.
At the worst times, I put on an ASMR video and put in headphones, wrap myself up like a burrito in my duvet and fall asleep for an hour while rocking a bit. Can't do that often because someone has to be watching my son for an hour, but it helps when I've reached a point of not being able to function.
I don't have time to journal so I turn off the car radio when driving alone and just talk to myself 😂 it's usually like 5 minutes but it works well enough ... in our situations, we just have to make do... hang in there 🫂
I understand ❤
I had never thought of my depression and disconnection as a part of my dysregulation before. It makes sense, but I also have bipolar disorder so anything not bipolar depression was put in the "eh I guess people just normally feel this sometimes"
The under stimulated dysregulation describes how I feel after work on slow days/weeks 😕 I'm glad I have verbiage for it now but ugh
One the people who commented said she was diagnosed with bipolar then depression and one year later they said no it’s just ADHD
I mean one year ago*
I was diagnosed with bipolar without thorough knowledge of my situation and background and I felt the diagnosis is not right.
Learning about autism and ADHD makes me believe this is what I have
@@Philanthropyuae bipolar disorder is a common misdiagnosis for women who are actually adhd. In my case bipolar medication has been life saving and changing, so I'm pretty sure I just got the multiple of neurodivergence.
But I know a lot of people who were misdiagnosed as bipolar who are actually ADHD
Wow, your timing.
I lost my job and have been feeling sad and having lots of digestive issues. I've also noticed an even more difficult time focusing and losing things more often. I've been very overwhelmed and emotional as well.
Being aware of what's going on totally helps to start fixing things.
Thank you and thank the youtube algo for connecting me to this channel!
Thank you for the support! Sending you so much love as you continue your journey 💛💛
Hugs❤
This was a really helpful video, thank you!❤
9:24 my daughter sneezed and then you said "bless you" 🤣 i was so confused for a sec
😂love it
Hi, a bit late but to anyone out there struggling with the aspect of being kind to yourself, here's what works for me:
I find talking to myself whilst looking at the bathroom mirror helps. It probably sounds weird, but because I'm making eye contact with my reflection, I can see the impact that my words have on me so am therefore more inclined to be kinder towards myself. It makes me less critical and address the issue as if speaking to a family member or friend.
Hope this helps and to anyone struggling with this at the moment, you're strong and more valuable than you could ever imagine. Keep going, I believe in you :)
Thank you for this video. It explains why I've been feeling off recently. My family went from 3 to 1 car (my car). I am remote for now but I didn’t realize that I took it as a complete loss of freedom since my mom was using my car. Add to the fact that she was not taking car of it in the way I like did not help.
Her car is fixed now but I'm climbing out of the overstimulation hole now. Having a new environment to work in (going in the office this week) will help for sure.
For context, I learned to drive at 22 and got my first/dream car at 25. I paid off the car last Oct (2 years early) by myself despite people not believing in me (except my bestie!). I even got a better job because I can drive now.
So that car is a tangible symbol of me living a more adult life. Probably doesn't mean much to others but it was everything to me. This video helped me realize that things like this will happen and I can go at my own pace to work through it. 😊
You are doing very well. I am sorry that your mum did not value your car as well as you would like. I hope you can communicate effectively with her about that at some time.. but unless you have the same agreement with her as i do with my mum, which is that we are both allowed to yell if we need do... And to hang up the phone suddenly it we need to, i hope you find a time when you and your mum are calm and free. Boundaries are reeeeeaaaly important and i hope you mum understands this soon.
( I am 58, so probably older than your mum and i am pulling rank!! Hahha! I dont want any of my gen x people disrespecting boundaries. It took us so long to learn about them for ourselves. )
Adulting is hard at any age. You are doing really well.
I call the two states of dysregulation burnout and boreout. Just came out of the overstimulated dysregulation with insomnia and panic attacks. For me it helped to be taken seriously by doctors and getting help - just the feeling of not being left alone with this. And then I also did the six steps you suggested and meditation and the 4-7-11 breating technique.
It takes time but after 3 months it got better and I started to sleep better. I got some emergency appointments from a therapist but not for my adhd. But it helped nevertheless. Just because I had some social connections and appointments and would not stay home alone all the time.
This is exactly what I needed to listen to today. I have been so depressed lately. And now I am recognising it as being dysregulated. I had made the decision yesterday to start looking after myself. With what you mention as the 6 essentials and I recognise that hygiene is my catalyst. Thank you for being real in your video. And I have literally been crying the entire week 😢
HEAR YOU!! 💛 the tears are so real. So proud of you!
That was amazing! I knew a lot of this but hadn't connected the dots. Like, why walking helps some days and not others (different disreg). Sending this to every ND I know! 🎉
Yay!! So glad this helped!!
I now have a page in my journal full of notes from this video, thanks a lot, Hayley!!🤘
I wish I had this video before, since I now realize I probably have been dysregulated for the last 4+ months and did almost nothing to help myself to get out of it. Luckily I had a great therapist by my side and a recent AuDHD diagnosis, which pushed me to work towards something! I now know that I'm probably slowly getting out of my dysregulated period, I'm going to start a new job soon, in a new country, so I'll keep practicing your "during dysregulation" tips and the "preventative measures" later on. The "catalyst" concept.....? Fucking GENIUS, you might just have changed my life with that! 😱❤🔥
AH YAY!! This is so great to hear!
I echo many other folks in the comments - this video found me when I absolutely needed it. I have suspected that I have undiagnosed ADHD for about a year now, after about 30 years of thinking I'm a depressed, anxious failure of a human being. I have been aware that I have been in a "burnout" state but it felt more "crazy" than usual, (I know, it's not the best word but it's how my brain makes me feel), dealing with more suicidal ideation, etc.... and it's the dysregulation. I didn't even make it through the full video, I just stopped and finally spent the time finding a telehealth clinician that could get me in for an intake appointment - something I have been thinking about doing (and started and failed SO many times) for about 9 months (after deciding that I need telehealth because I can't continue the painful cycle of finding an in-person therapist, then flaking out after like 3 visits because I can't make it to the appointments and cancelling and rescheduling, and wasting money on cancellation fees... etc.).
Your video motivated me not to give up over the 4 hour saga of searching for all of my insurance information, figuring out how I can even find someone that my insurance takes, finding a place and then them saying that they actually don't offer what their website said they did, crying out of frustration and disappointment, BUT then remembering that I promised myself this time I would make it happen no matter how frustrating it was or how long it took, and tackled it again. I DID IT! And now I'm crying out of exhaustion and relief, which is it's own issue (and also a tell-tale sign of dysregulation for me, crying or almost crying about so many things that to other people makes zero sense).
Anyway, THANK YOU!!!
how did it get better?
Whoo hoo! Exactly what we have to do. We are worth it & have to realize that nothing is a straight line to what we need. We have to do it in spite of the curves! Plus It’s a constant road we travel.
I hardly comment on any video on TH-cam at all, but I really felt the need to tell you: this video itself just helped me regulate my emotions right now and motivated me to put in the work. Not everyone has access to good therapy, adequate treatment or advising in general and sharing what's been going on with you, how you've been managing it and doing it responsably, put it the work of doing a research, it's such a great thing. Thank you for putting yourself out there and I hope this is as helpful for you as it's been for me and certainly many others. Thank you :)
“According to my favorite Ho” I DIED
Crying in the bathroom at work because I wish all the doctors I’ve seen would have just told me this rather than putting me on medication. I always had a feeling there was something else I could do, I was just never given the information. Thank you
Crying with you today has been helpful. I’ve been dysregulated for months now with only about a week of feeling a little more stable before continually falling back down. Crying with someone who has recently gone through/is going through the same felt validating I guess. Thanks for making the content you do.💜
Thank you for this! I am pretty much all the things. Can a person be both over and understimulated at the same time? If so, I am.
Crying can be a tool for regulation. Certainly, don't unpack and live there, but a few tears now and again can be a reset button.
So the crazy making part about this, is that I'm often disregulated in BOTH directions at the same time. My autistic brain is burned out and my adhd is bored-out and trying to find JUST the right stimulation/sensory deprivation to HEAL is the friggin goldilocks story.
As I sit here torturing myself with no breakfast.... thank you. Thank you for this video.
exact same
I've been really struggling with meltdowns or just overall emotional dysregulation causing me to breakdown. I keep coming back to this video and it's a great reminder that I'm not alone and these days are going to happen from time to time
Watching it at speed is helping my brain, wow, I didn't think that would work. I've been told so many times that I'm in adrenal overload, my nervous system is a disaster, etc etc.
This is so wildly helpful to learn about! All of this hits home for how I've been feeling for months now. I've been viewing this as autistic burnout and maybe it is. Is there a lot of overlap between dysregulation and burnout? The ways to address dysregulation are pretty similar to the suggestions from my coach on working my way out of burnout: trying to prioritize my needs and rebuild trust in myself to not push too hard or be too unkind to myself.
I just went through a month and a half of Dysregulation and I 100% believed I was in a burn out or depressed. It's so so important to KNOW what's going on so you can fix it. Unfortunately when I'm in those dysregulated states, my brain likes to have suicidal ideations so thankfully I have a therapist and my husband and God to lean on for help through those because nobody wants to deal with that alone. Thank you Hayley for helping us neurodivergent folks help ourselves ❤
This upload is a gift, Hayley 😔 was feeling awful this morning due to already lower dopamine than usual due to sleep deprivation and then my morning being flooded with dopamine-sapping things just because I got out of bed, and having to go to work immediate. Then I had to deal with work annoyances, and I opened up ranting about what I'm dealing with as one person living with two cats and how I barely had any time to do a five minute sketch to get my dopamine up for those five minutes, and it all got horrendously worse when a coworker told me to my face that transphobia isn't real, right after I cited it as a reason I can't live with my parents (I'm a trans man). One of the worst things you can say to me in that moment when I am already very visibly and audibly not having a good day, and I got to go home early, and am about to go to my second job. Ten hour workdays don't work for me because they don't allow me time in the morning to give myself the dopamine I need to function and be peaceful. I shall continue watching this happy video, thank you for this 🥺🥺🥺
The “six things” is absolutely perfect. Thanks for that.
Beautifully put, and thank you Hayley for allowing yourself to cry on camera. It really helps me to connect with your story to see that raw emotion and it validates how difficult the experience of dysregulation truly is.
Thank you 🥺 I’m so glad it resonated with you
This video really helped me, I had never heard of disregulation but I now realize that I have struggled with it several times before. Thank you for making this❤
I’m sure someone has posted this already but I don’t wanna read all the comments lol- but you can actually be both experience under stimulation and over stimulation at the same time but within different areas. Such as under stimulation in your emotions (not feeling feelings to their fullest etc) but over stimulation with your physical (tight muscles etc)! Good to also think about!
Honestly this video hits the nail on the head in terms of my life the past 6-7 months.
I just want you to know how much your content genuinely means to me. I struggled so hard as a young adult because my ADHD therapy as a kid was SOLELY focused on skills for school. I was also told by multiple doctors that I would "grow out of it" and BOY OH BOY did that not happen. 🤣
Your content may not always reflect my ADHD and autism because we're all different human beings, but the amount of support and connection I feel just from your content is so special! 🥰
This video is a godsend for me today. I’m thankfully out of the worst dysregulation of my life but it’s still an everyday effort to maintain my health and regulation..I also need to remember that my capacity changes daily and that it’s ok when my capacity is less. I definitely could learn some compassion for myself. I’m grateful I have people in my life who help me out when I’m not there for myself.
I love your energy!!
🥺 i would like to take this time and say, i finished this video in one sitting. and i know that has nothing to do with the topic, but i am extremely proud of myself. 🎃🎃 it was slightly emotional to learn about something i might be dealing with now, and when things get too emotional.. i tend to lose focus and walk away. but I didn't, and to that, i have to thank you so so much for taking the time to explain this in such a comforting, kind, and digestible way 🥰 thank you 🎃🎃👻🦇
This video changed my whole perspective. I've been feeling so tired for so long and so unmotivated and have been cutting back on more and more things because I thought I couldn't handle them and it just keeps getting worse. The underactive dysregulation makes so much sense and I think would explain why everything I have been trying hasn't been working. This was so helpful thank you
I allow all feelings without trying to change them, escape from them, distract, etc. My Psil0cybin trips have done wonders to heal my trauma which causes these sorts of symptoms. I can feel a trigger without acting on it now, among an endless list of other improvements. I don't know where I'd be without trips!!!!
it only took 1 video (this video) and you doing the edit with your cat at 05:20 for me to subscribe. That legit made me laugh and is now the highlight of my entire day. Thank you Hayley!!
This has been so validating for me. For almost a year now I've been more dysregulated then I have ever been in my life. when you started crying and talked about how you have been treating your self I instantly started crying because I realized how bad treated my self this year. This has given me the understanding I needed to be kind to myself and take the steps to manage my dysregulation. Thank you Hayley
I wish I could talk this out with my therapist, but I had to stop going at the beginning of the year when my copay for mental health care tripled, putting weekly visits (which I need) beyond my budget. Even monthly visits would be a struggle because I was having to skip visits BEFORE the cost tripled for budget reasons.
Would it be possible for you to find a clinic that allows you to do sliding scale payments for copay? I hope you find a way to get effective therapy that is useful for you and in your budget soon.
As always, I appreciate your vulnerability and insight! You put words to so many things I think, feel, and experience but couldn't pin point.
💛 sending you love! Thank you for the support!
This taught me a lot about myself. I'm not sure if I have ADHD or autism, but I know for sure I've experienced both types of dysregulation.
Diagnoses have certain “features”, but we don’t perfectly fit a certain box. It’s all a continuum & most of us have a point on several lines. There are certain diagnoses that are pretty hard set: bipolar (way over dx’d i think, when it isn’t real bipolar), schizophrenia, schizoaffective(one i don’t really understand), Anti-social (not sure that’s the term anymore, might just be Sociopathic to Psychopathic. ADHD, ADD, Autistic… seen to blend a bit. I’m really chatty this am. Sorry.
@@twinkletoes1507 all good, thanks for the explanation
“According to my favourite Ho” is so funny 😂
Hit so hard on personal truths that I cried. Got mad that I cried because of what you're saying. LOL'd when you started crying because it felt better to finally not be crying alone. Saving this video cause I was walking & need to listen again to take actual notes.
THANK YOU for your vulnerability and insight, Hayley. I also got a little emotional when you did. I get it. I especially like when you talked about removing yourself from the identity of being lazy, or pissy, or forgetful, ect and instead ID'ing it as a phase and a sign that something is amis.
ohmygosh, this is what I couldn't put into words beyond "i've been going through A LOT OF LIFE EVENTS IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS" when I was going through my initial mental health assessment, gatekeeping thing before being referred for ADHD assessment. They acted like they understood emotional dysregulation then whipped around two weeks later saying, We think you should go on antidepressants for your low mood and I'm just like, what?? NO it's not depression! I have sad stuff I'm trying to process! And I love you for saying Not My Monkeys Not My Circus, that has been my mantra for a while but I keep forgetting it. Totally need it as a tattoo for a visual reminder forever on me.
Can you be overstimulated and under stimulated at the same time? For example, dealing with a lot of emotional stress from situations you can’t control. But the actual day to day activities you do are minimal and executive function is tough.
definitely feels like my experience is a mix of both as well
I feel like I got both every other day/week
Was told I was bi-polar then they said naw just depressed and a year ago I got told it's just ADHD... I'm going to ask the docs about this disregulation idea
I’ve heard of classical piano music helping with both at the same time because it’s both stimulatory and calming. I know it has helped me for overstimulation and under-stimulation separately, so if you want to try out that tool it’s available, I personally love Kassia’s piano videos because it doesn’t have intros or outros and it’s got the engaging and calming visuals too. But you also didn’t ask for advice or anything so I won’t mind at all if you legitimately don’t care for that
I also feel the same way, I definitely feel like I'm somehow experiencing both at the same time
My kid seems to have had a meltdown...she said she's tired and hyper, which i bet is like having over and under stimulation
Thank you for potentially saving me from being sent to a psych ward. I couldnt for the life of me figure out what was going on. Im two weeks into this.
I wish this had come out last November. I recognized that i was dysregulated starting then and finally started to get better in January only to be thrown back into it in February (all job related). Ive started the journey to regulating myself again and finding a new job (cause this one has drained me dry and blamed me for it).
Please remember that you dont live to work, you work to live.
I'm new at your channel, English is my second language, and I must say I LOVE THIS! For real... I've been very disregulated lately becuase things are changing (for good some things, like moving in with my bf). But THIS and the Six Essentials: really helpfull for a starter at ADHD (I'm 33 and diagnosed last december xd)
Thank you :)
I love that you let us see your person in all as much as possible. It personally helps me relate more. Like when you see people talking about adhd in the internet and giving tips ecc... They seem so on point like they have the key and everything is Always fine. You help me to accept myself and my ups and lows seeing you trying to do that❤
I am 29 weeks pregnant and can absolutely relate to being SO mean to myself about things outside my control. 💔 Thank you for being so vulnerable and encouraging around this 🙏🏻
Thank you for making this video. I knew what I was feeling but I did not know how to say it to other people or they would cut me off before I could finish telling them. This was so helpful!
I love this. It makes me feel less crazy and puts words and reasoning behind my strong/out-of-control feelings ❤ When I have reasoning/understanding behind my feelings, it feels so much less out of my control and easier to tone down.
This reminds me a lot of equilibrium. You can figure out what to do when you are in one phase, but you shifted to a new steady state equilibrium which requires a different toolbox because your ground zero is different. Phase changes are important to recognize. :)
So glad I came accross your video. I was going through a downward spiral for the last 6 months, ended up with crying every day and then burnout. Stuff kept adding to it that I was unable to deal with on a cognitive level because my emotions were SOOO dominant and everything felt worse and worse.
Now we had a lot of public holidays, so I had more time to calm down between work, also the weather is getting brighter (Fall and Winter are just horrible for me), and physical issues are being tended to.
Now I don't feel depressed anymore and this state of dysregulation you described sounds exactly how I experienced this time!
Gotta talk to my psych about it, maybe ADs are not necessary anymore...? 🤔
AD’s? Meds?
Timing couldn’t have been more perfect! I just realized that what I’ve been dealing with for the past two weeks is dysregulation. Now you’ve given me some tools to start getting myself centered again.
Dude. When you started crying though.. is exactly what I’m going through rn. It really is so important to shift narratives.
Wow, thank you so much for this video! I suddenly understand what’s been going on with me the past four months. Almost identical for me, I was triggered by an event outside of my control. Textbook over reactive dysregulation. I think I am coming out of it now because somehow I have been doing some of the management even though I didn’t understand what was going on. A lot of resting! But this is so helpful to finally understand what was/is happening and now I can work on it from a place of awareness!
Super appreciate your candor! It’s super helpful to know I am not alone
This was really helpful. I am understanding why I am barely functioning now. Some of those pieces are missing, like not having enough people around me (community). Other challenges (like so many people) having enough money to buy adequate food, and worrying about running out and being hungry, constantly. I need to write down what is important, and what will just have to wait, even if the temporary sacrifices feel extreme, to me. I'm not good at deciphering what is essential, and what can wait Learning to be kinder to myself. I have 'wiring', (like so many others) from childhood and toxic people that were anything but kind and helpful, or forgiving. I am going through something very difficult right now and I need to allow myself space to go through it.. Damn! I make my life sound like a disaster zone. It really isn't. Writing down things that I am grateful for is very helpful, and also writing down what I have already overcome already, is a big boost and gives perspective
This is really long 😬. I hope someone finds something useful in all of this!
What’s worked for my emotion dysregulation is guanfacine and DBT.
I seriously think more ADHDers need to know about the treatments for emotional dysregulation and how massive of a factor things like rejection sensitivity dysphoria is for ADHD. The Additude talk on emotion regulation by William Dodson (video looks like 1 hour but you only need to see his 25 minutes presentation) convinced me to take guanfacine and it’s been more life changing than adderall for me. I’ve also been doing Dialetical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills; it’s also highly evidence based and something I’d highly recommend.
As someone with bpd, I've been trying to get into a dbt program for ages. Part of the issue with that is there aren't a lot of them available in a lot of places. There's one 40 min from me, but getting a spot is hard, and its a 3 hour, every weekday program in the middle of the day. So unless you're in a major city, it would be tough to find that.
There's always the workbooks- I believe doctor fox has one, but it's just not the same as getting that actual interactive training, so to speak.
I'm glad youve benefited from it though that is awesome! Hopefully in the future it will be more widely known about, and utilized by more people.
I love your cat. He/she is very therapeutic. I was distracted for a moment but it was a good distraction. 😁
I cried with you. Feel it way to much knowing I am not kind enough to myself.
Thanks for your informative and so much authentic videos ❤
huh, so that is what this is called. now I am sad about a comment I left under another video because it was criticizing something you brought up.
love you too.
I learn SO much here! I am absolutely disregulated and need to implement change! Thank you because I've been here so long it became normal.
You’re on the cuff affirmations to yourself at the end are so valuable. I saved them to my phone for when I need them. Thank you. ❤
Hayley!! You have such a gift for sharing your knowledge and experiences in such a comforting and helpful way. It is honestly RE-REGULATING to watch this! I think I get more positive “life-tackling reset” energy from your videos than I do from therapy 😅 Just redid my lil dry erase board and feel like this video was just what I needed today 💜🩵 thanks for doing what you do, in your way, exactly how you do it.
THIS IS SUCH NICE FEEDBACK THANK YOU 💛💛 sending you love!
So... thank you for that. I'm Audhd, and you had me glued to the screen nodding. Its awesome of you to share this info, it resonates with me a lot.
i feel like i've been disregulated for years 😭 for the past month i feel like it's been even worse but it's so fucking hard to ask for help when therapy is so fucking expensive. i'm going to ask for help again the next time i go to the regular doctor, i'm not being able to manage my adhd by myself and feel like caos all the time
Hang in there. If you don’t get some satisfactory help, try someone else. Good luck. We are all in this together.
Just finding this now and wow, I wish I found it when it posted. This sounds exactly as what I experienced, and weirdly enough, the exact same time frame 😮
My final trigger was in January and felt like that shaken up fizzy soda bottle.
This video was incredibly helpful. As someone who is currently understimulated due to a job where I’m also not necessary, can you speak to your experience more as to what helped during that period?
I have POTS, so I know what the autonomic nervous system is and does.
Thank you so much at 53 I'm understanding more about myself
The Green is wholesome and warming
Not the read the little SMUT 😂
This video is very helpful, thank you for sharing
I don’t know how you do it, but your videos always come to the rescue at just the right time. I was just talking to my friend about this and was having trouble figuring out what’s been going on. Love your content! Thanks for being vulnerable and transparent. It’s definitely helped me do that same in my life lately. ❤
Thank you so much for this video, i think my depression is linked to emotional disregulation as well.
Thanks, Hayley for sharing your experience
could you please make a video about how to accomplish daily tasks during a depression episode for neurodivergents
Syncronistic! Just the video I needed. Thanks for all the hard work you put in to this!
Ugh, this spoke to me in ways you can't imagine. Thank you for your candor, for the helpful tips and tricks, and for making me feel seen.
I’m disabled and have been mostly housebound for a few years now, I am genuinely losing my sanity sitting in my tiny room with my AuDHD that I can’t regulate because the fix is always “go outside, have a bath(wish I had one), eat well(can’t cook regularly)” etc etc. I have so many problems, it feels impossible to get on too of them. I’m 34 today, and I’ve left the house three times this year, maybe five times last year. Going insane.
omg your cat is perfect
This is a really great video. I've been on sick leave and quit my job a few months ago and officially am diagnosed with severe depression, but this kinda.. Feels more like it. Ill have to look a bit more in the topic.
Its a bit difficult since neither my psychiatrist nor my therapist are really familiar with autism..
Wait… this is like me for almost my entire adult life. Occasionally I have bouts of “I’m okay, I can handle this” but there’s never a long term case of being outside of what you’ve described… And it’s all extreme amounts of things happening with periods of not having anything going on after I crash and burn.
I think our “modern” US society has turned so many if us into this state.
This was phenomenal. Thank you. I am working through it and can see the other side. But these tools will absolutely make a lot of difference for me.
Awww. Kitty just wanted to help regulate you. ❤ (I have a feline like that-when I talk about something stressful or difficult, she comes and finds me.)
Happy belated Birthday Hayley !! We Love you :):):)
I needed to hear this today!!! Thank you!!!❤ 🙏
I Absolutely Love the transcript !!!
Hi Hayley, thanks for a beautiful video ❤️ I’m curious about the difference between dysregulation (specifically overstimulated) and stress symptoms, they sound very similar? I got my ADHD diagnosis about a year ago and I’m still learning how to regulate at all, but one of the main reasons I ask is that in Uni I was constantly overwhelmed by the workload of both school work and student activities, where I was “diagnosed” by the school counselor with being overly stressed and had to push back a few courses during my masters. When I started working about two years ago after finishing my degree, I definitely cut down the amount of off-hours “work” I did by only keeping a few of my regular hobby activities and trying very hard to not go to too many student or alumni events after, but it never really felt like I calmed down anyway. I still feel very understimulated unless I have plans most evenings, but I get easily overstimulated when my weeks are filled with friend hangouts and I have no time to cook or clean for myself. It feels like I am still living in a stress state from university, but it also sounds a lot like I have an overstimulated nervous system. It’s gotten better in the past half a year because of my ADHD-diagnosis and working on my routines, but it still lingers. So just curious on your take on stress symptoms versus nervous system regulation!
Awesome content. Glad you talk about it. I experience it all the time. Know your steps to do when you realize you are dysregulated. Good luck! Greetings from the Netherlands
This video is amazing. Thank you.
yep i've been going through this lately with the stress of getting into technical college and navigating the confusing world of college and fafsa and whew have i just been over anxious and stressed and snappy for "no reason" (but there IS a reason) !!
This is so extremely helpful!! Thank you for all that you do ❤
Awesome. So helpful on so many levels. Thank you ✨❤️🙏🏽
Connection with other people is probably the hardest one for me.
Especially since I am not physically able to do much with how much pain I'm in and how exhausted I get.
Literally thank you so much for existing 💚 cannot describe how helpful your content has been. Totally life changing ✨
"im still progressing"? i think lol
another amazing video, as usual right when i needed it