How to ACTUALLY Rest if you have ADHD!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2024
- Hayley takes us through the 7 different types of rest and how ADHDers (or anyone) can use them to avoid burnout, build stronger relationships and maintain good mental health!
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#adhders #adhdproblems #adhdtips #burnout #adhdtiktok #autismacceptance #autismawareness #burnoutrecovery #rest #7typesofrest - บันเทิง
When said she “did a bunch of research” I picture her hyper focusing for a full day googling “how to rest” and being stressed about finding the answer. That is me
SAME
me also :)
Me
Also me 😂
@@madelinedillner I even have a "how to rest" Pinterest board 😂 إنه أمر مضحك.
I wish there was like a "responsibility rest." Like no one demands anything from me for like at least a couple hours. I'm overwhelmed by all the stuff I'm responsible for.
THIS!!!!!!!
It's called being submissive😝
Low key joking but the submissive kink comes from people who feel they have to wear alot of responsibilities. Being submissive is a way for them to let everything go.
Yes and it fr works
@@Linda.met.een.A
I think responsibility rest can be found through setting boundaries through the seven types of rest. It sucks that those responsibilities will continue to loom over rest time, but I think if you explicitly create time in which you relieve yourself of responsibility by communicating to those around you that you need a break, it could release some of that tension and obligation.
@@Linda.met.een.AYou're probably a very selfish or irresponsible person. A person may have a lot of responsibilities towards their families. It isn't always about going out of one's way to please friends or neighbours
Somedays I feel like I need to quit my job and just walk into the mountains and become a Gollum-like creature.
I day dream about this daily. Sometimes I imagine the hut I build for myself with sticks and clay.
What's stopped you
@@Biiku_so do it tik the liberal beurecrats who stole my land fine you for being an Individual
@@BLMacab one, I'm disabled, two, I have too much responsibility.
@@Biiku_ so excuses and boundaries you let others define you with
the very ADHD urge to watch a vídeo that perfectly answers your questions and need but lacking the attention to actually watch it due to being exceptionally unable to focus on account of burn out
Just play it on a faster
Speed lol. Helps me focus so much more.
@@ultravioletpisces3666 omgg im so happy im not the only one who does this lol
@@ultravioletpisces3666this is a great tip I do that all the time now! Sometimes still doesn’t do the trick tho 😂
1,5x speed. Always
UGH how are you reading my mind
I think the idea that rest can be adding an activity to your life rather than just removing activities is crazy to me. This totally explains why I randomly get the urge to watch/read something sad and cry. my job is about as emotionally dry as you can get, and just genuinely expressing emotions to something ends up making me feel more rejuvenated.
oh i get that! for me that intertwined with creative rest by taking choir classes. its a bit weird but im always expected to be unemotional and quiet in a way, so something that allowed me to use my voice and expression was rly healing. the teacher is on vacation now and i can feel the effect of it
This helps so much. I get tired of society's ideas about how I should behave. I get tired of feeling like I have to work hard and get along with people and be nice and positive. I just want to be pissed off and bored and sad and express it. I want to be lazy. I want to push people away. Why doesn't anyone get that?
@@MorganHyde-ie5ruI feel like your mood is how heavy metal and punk began
Physical Rest - 5:00
Mental Rest - 7:14
Emotional Rest - 8:41
Sensory Rest - 10:45
Creative Rest - 12:52
Social Rest - 14:34
Spiritual Rest - 18:05
Thank you ☺️
Thank you very much!
A twenty-five minute video targeting viewers with ADHD... thank you for adding this.
i need a week long coma 😭
How about a .month?
Creative rest. I'm a very creative person but I feel like I never have time for it and I'm craving it. I think I'm going to go to my room now, make the lighting calm, put in some chill lo-fi and color.
Sounds amazing to me 😊
That sounds so wonderful!!! I'm so glad you got something from this episode!
I have exactly the same! It's frustrating I just can't make time for it. I am going to try the thing you're saying too! 😇
Yes, exactly! This has me thinking on a lot..
I think I've been trying to make that place for over a year now, I just didn't realize it. It's been like this ever since I moved, I have to make myself a spot in the new place. It's no wonder I feel so lost!
Lofi is my medicine ❤
another way to "rest" is to prepare for the week ahead. It kind of falls under self-care I think... but it's basically setting up future you to have an easier week. Maybe precut veggies that are going to be used in dishes, make sure clothes are clean, make lunches the night before, etc. That way when you are in the middle of the chaos of the week... the tasks of the day to day are made easier. By the end of each day of the week... you are less frazzled.
This is probably the hardest thing I have had to learn for myself. It feels so difficult to spend a couple hours doing the mundane things like prepping laundry or ingredients for the week, but when I actually do it it makes my week so much easier.
I see all those tasks as hard work!
But you are right.
That's executive functioning, not rest.
@@Heyu7her3Sure, preparatory self-care activities are adulting aka executive business, but it also is indeed a profitable barter with oneself reducing restlessness on both ends: Present You trades in service against the (self-)assurance and peace of mind that comes with doing the right thing and Future You will benefit from the done and ready more than match the downpayment on appreciation for the genius that made this calm and empowered situation even possible. Win-Win.
@@PlethoralityYou may occasionally hatte doing the hard things, but you will surely NOT hate yourself for having done them. Give yourself the credit for doing the right thing, all the more for the boring stuff. ADHDers thrive on appreciation - use the spell.
I work retail and never understood why coming home, laying in bed, and scrolling my phone never recharged me. This video was really eye-opening, and I hope I can incorporate these tips into my life.
Did it work?
The standout for me wasn’t a particular type of rest but the revelation that sometimes the needs you have from rest are actually doing more of a thing that you aren’t getting in your day to day life! Such as physical rest being movement if you have a very sedentary job. Huge aha moment for me.
Absolutely. Rest as a break/change from what you're doing "too much" of, even if that means actually adding something instead of taking something away.. 🤯
Me too!
These “rests” just bring balance. I find that easier to understand, remember, and apply.
Too much socialization? Rest by balancing it with time alone.
Too little socialization, balance by time with people you care about.
Work unfulfilling? Add something that brings you a sense of purpose.
Balance might not be even, or the same for everyone. But adding a little more of the opposite will be more balanced than before.
Yeah, I think balance is key 😊
Such a good way to put it. Thank you.
I love this perspective! Is it okay if I reference your idea of creating balance in a blog post I'm writing about resting as a neurodivergent person?
1. Physical rest
2. Mental rest
3. Emotional rest
4. Sensory rest
5. Creative rest
6. Social rest
7. Spiritual rest
I love the video very much but I would appreciate more structure. I have auDHD and it is really hard for me to focus on something without visual stimulation like written text. It would also help to be able to rewatch one type of rest because you were zooning out or your phone rang, if you know where to scroll to.
Yes I agree chapter markings would be helpful too!
You can find this in my programs! They’re only $15-$20 :) these videos are podcast episodes and are easier for me to get out to everyone but the programs are designed for neurodivergent people! Link is in my bio :)
Thank you a lot, you are a life saver! Wanted to watch the video but it was too hard to concentrate 😢
how about time stamp ? cause honestly. I didn't bother to watch the whole thing: I upped the playback to 1.5 and stopped watching at the 5m mark... because it didn't grabbed my attention enough and the video is way too long, past 10 mins I know I wont watch it all. I know I won't remember you just because of this small hassle. Also I will never pay for QOL that other content creator already fulfill. Just my 2 cents bye
@@hayley.honeymanI think she means time stamps! That would be super helpful
I feel like my spiritual rest is taking care of my cat and feeding him when I get home from work. Watching him eat somehow really feels grounding and fulfilling especially when I go to lay after and watch tv Bubby will join me after he is done. It's nice quiet little exchange 😊 it really makes me happy to see him calm and comfortable. Then when I go to bed lights go out he curls up with me and Injust sit there and enjoy his company. I work with alot people and that just drains me but these quiet interactions with my cat really help me
I often rest on the bed with my cat during the day, and he falls asleep in my arms. I can't fall asleep, but hearing him purr, breath heavy and then starting to snore is SO CALMING for me. It's like a mindfulness exercise, to focus on him and become relaxed myself. It's both physical, spiritual and emotional rest, I feel safe.
This is so cute omg 😭 I feel the same way about my cats!!
Amber! Amber! Amber!
I love that so much and hope to have one of my own one day. Sexy bloody legends that they are
I love this list of types of rest! I have added environmental rest for myself because I periodically need a change of scenery and want to experience a new environment. Like a coffee shop or just getting out of the house. I feel a lot happier with my apartment when I get breaks from being inside all the time.
This is so smart!
Going through a really bad burnout cycle right now and finding it nearly impossible to break out of it, despite my efforts. I'm 31 and hold guilt about this because I keep telling myself... I SHOULD be able to perform these EASY daily tasks. I SHOULD be able to hangout with loved ones and feel that it's filled my bucket, not drained it. I literally make programs for kids with adhd/autism as my job.... I KNOW what strategies to use, but I just can't sustain the energy to continue implementing them for myself.
The constant guilt and gaslighting from my inner voice is honestly a huge part of the burnout and why I find it really hard to get out of it most times. Through all of this we need to give ourselves grace and remember that we are living with an invisible illness. We need to do what is right for US, not others.
Anyways. Basically just wanted to say this video found me at the exact right time and I appreciate immensely. Thank you for being you and sharing your knowledge!
@@allyson-- aw thanks so much ❤️ doing my best
I'm noticing that external validation of my nervous system state is essential to help me acknowledge that of course I can't do x y z when I'm experiencing this stress response. I have renewed this realisation after a deep shame spiral this week.
@@Littlelinden86 that seems challenging. What does external validation of your nervous system state look like? Glad you're keeping up the good fight against shame, even though it can be debilitating
I'll tell myself to "stop should-ing myself." This is something that neurodivergents do really well. Nothing productive ever comes of it and it just makes me feel bad, so I try to catch myself and reframe what I'm saying.
Creative rest was a hilarious thing she mentioned because I'm a very creative person but recently I've been unable to do more demanding creative processes like writing because of lack of energy, but recently I picked up crochet again for like the first time in 4 years and I'm feeling amazing. Simple patterns that I could do in my sleep allow me to create without pressure and recharge that battery that had gone ignored for years.
Years ago I came up with about 7 types of being ‘tired’ (none of which were anything to do with feeling ‘sleepy’ either). It never occurred to me that each type required REST.
For the spirituality, I thought of it like ‘existentially’ tired/rest. I am tired of being alive/ tired of my life. You covered it well with finding meaning and purpose in your life. Exactly the same thing 😁
I wish she'd included demand-rest. I desperately need that. Every day I have chores to do, like making myself food, taking care of my cat, shower, do laundry etc. I never EVER rest from these. It's SO draining to never be free but always have these "have-to's" every single fricking day no matter how you're doing mentally. And I can't NOT do them. I need to eat, shower, take care of my cat etc. I wish for a "holiday" away from my chores and demands at home. Needless to say I'm unable to work due to my mental disorders, I can just barely live on my own, so I never get any holiday from my "work" = life in my apartment...
@@SamirCCatThat sounds similar to me with being a stay at home mom, where most of the time my exhaustion or overwhelm comes from all the everyday tasks and the fact they never go away and I'm never done. I can't "go home from work." I was scrolling on my phone way too much every time I felt overwhelmed, and yet it never felt like enough rest. My husband pointed out I need constructive rest, like the types listed in this video. Maybe you don't think you're overstimulated or you're alone too much or around people too much or any of the problems she listed, and think this doesn't apply directly to you because you don't have a job? But another way of looking at this whole 7 types of rest theory is that these are different categories of needs. Since what you're doing isn't fulfilling some of your needs and you're not enjoying any of it, you simply need to do things that are different that you enjoy. If you're in your home all day, you need to have a new environment sometimes. If all you do is work, you need to also have fun. If you are doing the same movements with your body every day, you need new movements, etc.
@@SamirCCatI'm slow at the everyday "have-to's" and my house is always a disaster. But if I make myself take breaks, I have more energy to do chores, so I still get the same amount or more done. Maybe it'll work for you too.
I had a similar understanding with the "Spiritual Rest", just I'd interpret it as Vocational instead of Existential... But your description solidifies what it is about.
@@kristinathomas5890 I get very easily overwhelmed and that's why I keep myself at home most of the time, to save energy. I do fun things when I allow myself, but I still need to do the "boring" things, and often times it's a gigantic mountain to climb over. I have very little energy in total, so I often need to choose what to do - something fun or something useful? And if I do something fun I will constantly blame myself for not doing my normal life-chores. I can't really stop showering/eating etc. I hate chores, and that I can never escape them. It breaks my down, slowly but surely...
Rest, not being actually “resting” in the way we were taught is what shocked me, it absolutely makes sense, but that one got me. Lol.
Timestamps & notes:
3:36 - 7 different types of rest, all necessary
5:02 - Physical rest
* lower activity: stretching, massage…
* increase activity: walking dogs, weight training…
7:15 - Mental rest
* screens off
* meditation, journalling
8:42 - Emotional rest
* time alone
* talk to trusted friend
10:45 - Sensory rest
* quiet space
* screens off
13:00 - Creative rest
* break from creative work
* pursue personal hobby, just fun
14:35 - Social rest
* set boundaries, schedule time alone + interactions with loved ones
* differentiate online vs IRL
18:06 - Spiritual rest (≠ religious)
* volunteering, praying….
* Nourish your purpose, give meaning to your life
20:50 - How to incorporate all types of rest in daily life
* schedule them in
* be intentional
* take breaks
* set boundaries for yourself, frame expectations for others
* disconnect
* experiment
✨✨thanks a ton ✨✨
This is fabulous. Thanks so much!
U saved me
Thank you! :D
this is wonderful, thank you
I'm definitely saving this video to revisit later.
My mom always tells me to put away my laptop or my crochet project and to "rest" since I'm so busy during the week, but I've always felt like playing video games or crocheting was a way for me to reconnect with myself and rest after doing so much to please others, so it's really validating to hear that there isn't one definition of "rest" that's set in stone! This video is a huge help to know what to look for to solve my constant fatigue. Thank you so much!
Crochet
Yeah I think sometimes you need to rest your eyes from a screen (physical rest or Sensory even) but you don't need to rest your mind from it because we do such different types of things on the screen (mental/ creative/ even emotional, social etc can be here) so. It's not all one thing being drained. It's so much more complex than that!
I feel this. I find doing a big project with a simple dc or hdc stitch very “restful” compared to a small project with an unfamiliar stitch or something I have to be on top of my stitch count with (like amigurumi) and never understood why until now.
Im AUDHD and I plan in a bullet journal each week, and let myself with creative with is is one of my fav ways to relax, but I always write a selfcare menu out and this is giving me ideas for what to put on it. Thank you for the video 🥺
Self care menu! I love that! Definitely going to start using in my bullet journaling, also Audhd :)
Oh my gosh, social rest surprised me the most. As a homeschool mom I'm constantly socializing with kids all day with no breaks. And then when my husband comes home like 2 seconds after the kids are asleep I feel guilty for not wanting to talk. I for sure need more alone time. I never thought of how draining those constant social interactions can be. I need to fix it. Even if I just give myself 5-10 mins at the end of the day. Wow. Loved this video!
Bro. I used to work in retail in one of the BUSIEST stores in the mall, and in the city. In the Christmas season I couldn't go two steps without someone asking me a question while I was doing something for someone else. The break room was always full of chatty people who wanted to talk and there were people coming and going to their lockers, washrooms, and to check stock, so it wasn't a real break. I started eating my lunch in the STAIRWELL to the parking because I just needed people to leave me alone. I didn't realize I was just overestimated and burnt out.
In my (open space) office job, whenever i need a break from everything I go to the bathroom and just sit there for like 10min with my headphones on and no music playing.
The parking stairwells are a good shout though 😃 it is really about finding whatever works for you isn't it
@@theapawleanwitch 100% at the retail job I mentioned, they did not let us take more than two bathroom breaks per shift. It was pretty shitty
As a thesis-writing student that is starting to feel more like a blob than a human, this is exactly what I needed, thank you so much!💖Also, I really liked the simple sitting-down-and-talking format. It gives me the opportunity to watch videos more intentionally, cause my lil dopamine-driven brain can't easily skip to the next part :)
Best of luck to you. I've been there and it's hellish!
I just finished the audiobook "Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle" and your explanation of the different types of rest makes their recommendations make so much more sense!!
Also...
Me ten seconds in: APPA!
Me singing when you're talking about social rest: 🎵 I want to be where the people arrrre🎵
This makes so much sense. My husband works a high-demanding job that requires a lot of social energy and him on his feet, moving, and talking all day. He works 12 hour days, 5 days a week. While I am a stay at home mom to Irish twins with no friends or family to communicate with. He's pretty much the only adult interaction I have. Our needs for social rest are the complete opposite, he wants to come home, eat, and go to sleep. While I want to talk, tell each other about our days, and connect socially. It's quite difficult when our needs for rest are so different.
You need to get in touch with your friends and family, or make more friends!
Sorry, are your twins Irish but the rest of you aren't?
@@bookshelfhoney Irish twins is a term for children born 12 months apart or less. My kids are 10 months apart in age
@@eleigh1312 oh!!! Haha thank you I hadn't heard of that before
Very relatable! I realized this about my partner and I during 2020. He was an essential worker and introvert, and I was laid off and also an extrovert, so I was doing nothing all day, alone except for the cats, doing puzzles. When he would come home from a stressful day, all he'd want to do was be alone, maybe play a video game. Whereas I had seen no one in person, and certainly not close up, for hours or days. So he'd walk in the door, just wanting alone time, and I'd be running around asking him questions and telling him about the new dog I saw that day. He eventually broke 3 weeks in and asked if he could have some time to himself haha
This video made me realize why exercise makes me feel so good. I workout 6 times a week and run every single day. I think through exercise I take many different types of rest at once, sensory because I run without earbuds in nature, emotional and mental because I have time just for myself, just me and my thoughts, etc.
All that is to say you don’t have to have individual rests for each type, you can have multiple types of rest just by doing something you love for the sake of doing it.
I have never seen your videos in the past- so grateful this was my first one. I needed this but didn’t know. That was so peaceful and helped a lot
I wish I could like this video a million times.
I've been so burnt out and stressed lately, and not meeting any of the expectations I had for myself. And the more pressure around my expectations, the harder it was to actually work toward them.
Last night, I was just sitting in a dark room and this video popped up in my recommendations. I watched the whole thing twice, then again this morning to take notes.
I only got my ADHD diagnosis a year ago, and since I got medicated, I've been pushing myself to be as productive as possible and to schedule (or overschedule) myself as much as possible, because I spent 32 years feeling lazy and never getting anything done. So when I found something that actually kicked my executive function into gear, it was like a miracle and I wanted to take full advantage of that.
But now, a little over a year later, I'm starting to understand that my brain still can't take 18 hours a day of scheduled productivity without wearing me down.
The real struggle is going to be figuring out how my house and work life doesn't fall into disarray again if I'm not constantly doing the things on my task lists.
You can add 7 types of rest on your todo list and it will balance itself. To regain energy is also a task, task is not exclusively spending energy.
@@sanjavukovic169 I like that mindset a lot actually. I feel like I'm going to have to write that down. :)
omg thank you so much for this! i have adhd and undiagnosed autism and i'm in high school rn. i always feel like i'm not doing enough because everyone else is able to balance school, a job, and hobbies too, meanwhile i just go to school and then come home and scroll for hours to decompress from all the social interaction. i'm hoping to get to a point where i can rest more effectively and create a better balance in my life, and this helps soo much. thank you
As a high school teacher, I promise you NO ONE has it all balanced! Society has way too many demands on all of us, and most adults forget how much work school actually is. And most of us didn’t have the time suck of social media when we were doing it! Please take some time to get some fresh air and sunshine if you can. You can’t do your best if you aren’t caring for your body, mind, and spirit. 💜
Thank you for this, Hayley! My therapist mentioned that I'm burned out at our last session, and I've been trying to figure out what on Earth to do about it. Watching this, I realized I am in desperate need of rest in all of the seven categories. I appreciate so much that you listed examples of what it getting rest looks like for each type. Again, thank you!
I need social and physical rest. I spend so much time alone so I need to spend time with close friends to recharge. I spend so much time sitting in front of my computer, so I need to move my body more to feel rested. Thank you for this!
I experience burn out quite often, mostly from social and sensory demands. Even though I'm autistic and aware that I have a lot of sensory struggles, I was surprised that sensory rest is a thing. I will definitely start planning time for that now and I think it will help me. Thank you for sharing these!
But why did I start crying at the outro? I'm so proud of you too Hailey!! Thank you for doing the work on your end because it truly has made an impact on this end 💕💕💕
GO TEAM!! Love you!!
Crying is releasing resistance. You've released a thought that was stopping love into your experience. Crying is good!
I scrolled the comments to see if anyone else started crying too at the end! 💞 I’m with my people. 🫶
I love that definition of crying
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
It's crazy you can replenish energy by actually doing the thing you've been neglecting instead of doing the traditional lock yourself in a dark room method lol. I'm a really introverted individual so I tend to not go out and socialize a whole lot but then I crave it after awhile and I go out. So really I've been resting in that area without really knowing it's rest.
Oh my god I struggle SO badly with resting and the guilt that comes with it. I end up spending all of my weekends anxiously puttering and doing chores. This was so helpful- I now have a game plan for how to maybe actually feel sane. I know I feel better when I see family/friends, go outside and walk around, and meditate, but now I know exactly why. Thanks Hayley!
Interesting how the 7 types of rest go with the 7 chakras in yoga/new age modality.
1. Root chakra - physical rest
2. Sacral - creative rest / intimacy safety to share what you value and is meaningful to you.
3. Solar plexus - social rest dealing with individual identity, ego and confidence.
4. Heart chakra - emotional rest /empathy for community or friends and family.
5. Throat chakra - sensory rest of the ears and balance + social rest of using your voice all day/ energy of thyroid area.
6. Third eye - mental rest / sensory rest of the eyes and visualization
7. Crown lotus - spiritual rest. Connecting to something bigger than you that is restorative to the deeper sense of purpose.
Interesting
And i believe maslovvs hierarchy of needs is similar. And there is one more theory but I don't know what it's called, I think it's Native American.
Wonderful thank you
This is such an insightful comme t. Thank you.
New age religion is satanism. Yoga is pure hinduism-demon worship
Walking by the sea or lake, looking at rocks and whatever else catches my intrest covers most of the boxes for me
Wish I lived by the Sea! 🌊 You are so fortunate; happy for you!!😊
I think a good expansion of this concept is to consider each of the 7 areas with respect to BOTH rest AND "nourishment." If an area is out of balance, is it because you need to take a break or... are you starving? It's clicking for me now, that the aud/adhd burnout is not going to be solved with "rest" but by feeding the out-of-balance parts of myself, of which there are many (of the 7), and they are absolutely starving. Nourishment! Thank you!
Okay, you’ve got a new subscriber now! I’m so glad my algorithm gave me this video, bc I am in my final year of law school and I am SUFFERING. Your description of cycles of hardcore work followed by some days of doing nothing is how I’ve been muscling through law school this whole time. I feel like I never truly rest. Honestly, this video might change my life.
Hope you are doing a little better at this point in timr
Thank you Hayley. Loved the breakdown of all the types of rest and the examples from real life. I was just discussing with a fellow ADHD-er friend the other day about how difficult it is to just do NOTHING when you're trying to rest. I've realised, as an AUDHD-er, that rest is mainly about a break from demands, Fresh air, time in nature and unstructured time plus gentle self-chosen creative activities help me.
what I've gotten from this is that we need balance. If there's too much of one thing, you have to do the opposite. eg, exercising is "resting" if you sit a lot for work, socialising is "resting" if you work from home etc.
Very insightful
Mental rest is a huge one for me. I have a mentally taxing desk job. Mental rest for me means I need to avoid even talking to one of my room mates, because he asks me a lot of questions (usually simple ones, ones he can look up online, or ones I've answered previously and he didn't remember). It's caused a bit of a problem actually because he doesn't understand how tapped out my brain is at the end of a workday, to the point where he disrespects me and has yelled at me. It took a huge talk for him to even understand.
Oh here the note book of sh*t I've already asked my roommate and should know the answer too ... should help out ... lol
I hope he understands now! That’s awful!
This is a huge issue for me, because my brain automatically starts problem solving, when people ask questions they could easily find the answer to themselves, I have to switch off the 4 other problems I'm solving to work on theirs. They're effectively hijacking my extra processing power for themselves, because they know I'll find the answers quickly, but they don't see the toll it takes on my brain to have to switch to that and then switch all the way back to what I was doing or thinking about before. You have to be incredibly clear about boundaries and I realise now I have to avoid answering these questions early on, because people start to rely on me having the answers.
I haven't watched the video yet but how did you know I needed this so badly?! 😂
this video is so validating and so helpful, thank you for this 🥺
I have been hard on myself lately because I have been almost avoiding my roommate (and friend!!) after each work day. she wants to talk, hang out, watch TV, and sometimes dumps her emotions on me, all after a long day of work. my work is emotionally and socially draining and very overstimulating. this video was SO validating and helped me see why these interactions with my roommate are so stressful! so much to think about from this video 🫶🏼🫶🏼
It's so nice when you are struggling with something and then someone comes along with the same problem and very promising solutions to that problem! Thank you!
Perfect timing!! Thank you so much for doing this sit down chatty (but well informed) video. I resonated with your recent short on PTSD affirmations. I’ve been activated really frequently this past month (and expect to continue to be activated as it’s holiday season.. woo ☹️). I’m going to rewatch this again sometime this weekend and take notes this time. Thank you Hayley!! 💜
Okay this might be what I actually needed to take care of myself. I am neurodivergent + struggle with depression and an ED and I am having so much trouble with moving my body because I cannot detach it from the aesthetic effects ( meaning only working out to reach a certain body). I recently started a desk job and seeing movement as a form of rest from my job instead of a way to achieve a certain body might actually help. Thank you so much for that!
I feel you, friend. First I was a dancer who definitely had disordered habits with food, then I had an ED in college and struggled so much to divorce movement from trying to achieve that physique. I was so lucky that a friend who is also an ED survivor and a yogi started hosting donation-based yoga workshops where we would do gentle yoga practice AFTER an hour of discussing a book we were reading on body image. It allowed me to start seeing yoga as a way to honor my body instead of pushing it. I hope you can find movement that makes you feel the same. 💜🫶🏼
Oh and the donations went toward NEDA charities. Forgot to mention that part 😅
Another absolutely smashing video! Very much just what I need to hear. I just wanted to drop in and say that in terms of making videos, you have such fun, caring and genuine personality that I wouldn't worry so much about having to make "high quality" video because it's always a high quality video when you're in it because of the high quality of your character ☺
Creative rest! so important to connect with music / writing after so many days of solving problems in programming. Sometimes, I need the mental rest of scrolling over the phone and no think, but I found better for myself just to go out and walk.
Just found your channel and I'm already getting so much from it. The daily routine video blew my mind and it's going to be so helpful in my future planning. For this video it was sensory and social rest that blew my mind. I work in customer service and even though I mostly stand in one spot all day, I'm always so drained afterwards and I felt guilty for taking breaks when my job isn't really that demanding. But just because it's not physically demanding doesn't mean it's not draining me on other levels. Love this video. I'll definitely be examining these levels of rest and how they manifest in my life. Thank you.
I feel many of us have instinctively done some of these things to find different forms of rest, just never had this clear concept and thus felt weird about it / guilty for taking these forms of rest, or not sure why the "normal lying on the couch rest" didn't work. Your videos are so so helpful! Never came across this concept in such a structured and easy-to-follow way, mind = blown!
What was shocking to me was the idea of emotional rest. Giving myself permission, a safe space, and time to process my feelings. A very helpful video, thank you!
This got me emotional, this hit so deep. I have been stuck in a circle for so long I have no idea how to get out of it, but this video actually gave me inspiration and ideas to get moving again. The main thing that got me was the lack of purpose and meaning (spiritual rest). But also me needing more movement instead of less (aka lying in bed all day).
Thank you, I needed this 💚
i’ve been procrastinating watching this video haha. but you’re describing how i’ve felt for so long and I so appreciate it. I want to learn how to feel vibrant and energized from life rather than just barely present and being super checked out. thank you❤
I find that super clean, minimalist spaces, make my mind goes crazy and I find it super hard to focus in those spaces. Clutter actually relaxes me, it’s like my mind just bounces off all the objects instead of going off on a mental hike and I can meditate and focus on projects way better
Thanks so much for this, Hayley. I’m going to add a page to my journal of the different types of rest and check-in with myself to see what I need rather than defaulting to the lying on the settee and scrolling on the phone while watching TV to rest. I can’t thank you enough.
This was a huge revelation to me. Thank you so much for sharing this! I had some thoughts lately about feeling better (as in rested) after I talk to someone I enjoy talking to, and I just realized it's because I work alone from home and most of the time I have no interaction with people, so going out and talking is rest for me. It's amazing to finally realize these things. This might just be what finally helps me deal with my burnout. You're a lifesaver!
Thank you so much for this! It’s very relaxing and easy to just sit and listen to you talk like this. One of the biggest parts for me was learning about creative rest. I do a lot of art, and I have been unintentionally putting a lot of pressure on myself to complete a couple of my projects lately, so I’ve been in a huge creative burnout. Learning about the distinction of being creative just for fun and to let my brain explore was really helpful, and something I am looking forward to applying going forward.
you explained this SO well without a bunch of ‘filler talk’ im an online creator too and i have to schedule positive social interactions (i get alot of negative ones at school drop off 😂) otherwise i start feeling depressed
I am definitely not doing a LOT of these rests properly/efficiently. I've spent so much of my life undiagnosed, masking, & people pleasing that it's difficult to draw into myself long enough to even figure out what I need... But this helps. Awareness and understanding are key and I'm really happy to have this channel and others like it to help me figure it out.
this opened my eyes so much - i feel THE EXACT same WAY LIKE MY GODTHABK u for talking about this and posting this video so much
needed this video soo much. been feeling very burntout and overwhelmed in college while working. exciting to explore these diff types of rest!!
Very interesting video, thank you! And probably useful too, because some of your suggestions sound like things I need in my life more
Overall I hadn’t considered attaching the word “rest” to everything past emotional, but it makes so much sense. At least before watching this the rest had felt like an element of fulfillment that I had too much or too little of, and “fulfillment” feels like some extracurricular thing instead of THE something I need to inherently do or balance out. Like in my work I have to do a lot of writing about what happens each day, so writing creatively has felt draining even though I really enjoy doing it otherwise. This has been eye-opening for me, honestly.
this is actually really helpful! i have been stressed recently and starting to feel burnt out because im always busy, and a lot of areas of my life produce discontentment and unrest/uneasiness, they feel very unfulfilled. i am definitely going to use this video to try and take care of myself more and focus on the types of rest i really need. thank you so much for making this video!
Late last year I started listening to soft jazz. It helps tremendously. It helps me unwind internally. And I've got back into classical, too.
you are incredible, this was such empowering information and you presented it with such affirmation and confidence and just as such a great teacher and it truly helped me to learn something new, thank you so much, so engaging and wonderful!
OMG Hayley, I needed this so much, THANK YOU 💖
Thank you for this!!! So many types of rest for me in this video, wrapped up in a bow. The naming of social and spiritual rest blew my socks off of bare feet 😻🙏🏼
Thank you so much for this video. Like many I didn't realize the various types of rest you've mentioned in this video and the purpose behind each. This video has changed my perspective on rest and my overall wellbeing.
Thank you for connecting this with the neurospicy needs we've got. That was really helpful to overlay these types of rest with our specific processing patterns. You rock! 🎉 🫶🏻
I have never heard the term "neurospicy" before but I am 100% using that!
Isn't it a fun twist? 😂 Someone smarter than me coined it, and I found it online somewhere. Wish I could credit them!
I'm not sure my ADHD will allow me to focus for 25 minutes
the concept of mental and emotional rest is something very interesting to hear you talk about and it really made me realize ive been neglecting that for myself. I have many friends who miss social cues when it comes to venting and I get nervous telling them that constantly being a supportive person can be very draining for me especially when I dont find support from them back. thanks for another great video Hayley!
You make me feel so safe and comforted 😊❤
A) This video provided really great explanations of the various types of rest. I think social rest is the big struggle for me & since I work from home, I need to be socializing more. I live with my spouse but that never feels like quite enough. But, as a person with variable health, it's REALLY hard to figure this out in the time of COVID
B) I have that exact same Appa plushie & sleep with it every night, it's lovely
Something that I've found as a type of social rest is just going to a cafe and ordering a coffee and relax there, maybe even read or journal and add some of those other rests (or do some work there too). Grabbing coffee with friends is also so much easier since it doesnt require a lot of time or put you in a situation where your health might be compromised by so many other people. Just getting out of the house and being surrounded by others is nice when you don't have plans for that day
I don’t see why people are so demanding in the comments. Like where does the entitlement come from by having a learning disability. It’s free content. I appreciate the video. Also, its impressive that it was just one take. No editing really. Just someone speaking on something they care about, regardless of having a business on the topic. I get the point is to help those of us that are struggling but some people are asking to be catered to and not even being friendly about it. Friggin ew.
Pressed the sub button right after i heard you drop the F bomb. I am HERE for this authenticity! Awesome vid, thank you. This is exactly what I needed. I always thought i was good at resting, but I was only physically resting.
Hayley!!! Thank you so much for this video!! I have always wanted to research on the types of rest and find practical ways to do them but I never had the time due to school or doomscrolling hahah. so after stumbling across this video while I was doomscrolling, i feel sooo lucky to have seen it cuz the things you presented really resonated with me and it gives me hope that I CAN work hard without fear of burning out. The key takeaway for me would be the fact that resting does not always mean doing less, but sometimes actually doing MORE such as the case with being tired after a long day of sitting. Now it finally makes sense why taking walks actually makes someone feel more invigorated after being tired, instead of feeling like they used up more energy. I will definitely try out my own ways of resting after this and again, thank you so much.
This is coming at the literal perfect time!! Tysm Hayley💖
I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts/tips for identifying which kind of rest you need. I'm a come home and rot on social media person. I hate it but it usually feels like the only thing I have energy to do. What am I missing that this "activity" is trying to make up for?
I’ve been the same and I think it’s a way to connect socially without having to put on a face/act/performance when you’re too tired/sad/angry/etc to spend time with friends or family without upsetting someone or getting more upset yourself. I’ve been off Twitter for over a month and have ended up replying/commenting on so many more TH-cam videos. I think it’s a way to still Be Us when we have no energy to really be ourselves. (I’m stuck in a room with fatigue and dislocated bits and pieces so being able to be myself is rare. Social media has been a godsend.) ✊🏼❤️🕊
interesting, thanks for your insight. :] @@clarewillison9379
Yeah this is what I'm struggling with too! I don't know how to identify what I need, although I think I'll start with going over what I've done during the day/week, and making guesses from that - like if I've been sitting in the office all day, I probably need to move, or rest mentally!
i really really like this video and i enjoyed how you took us through this. the position of teacher AND peer is hard to nail down but you made it feel like i was talking to a friend about this. makes it easier to process for me. saved this for later so i can watch over and over and remember i need REST!
This is ground breaking. Thank you for sharing 🙏
Any tips on finding sensory rest when you’re a parent? I knew having a baby would be tough, but I didn’t anticipate just how overwhelmed I would feel when it’s 24/7 crying and touching me!
I'm not a parent so this might not be as helpful, but maybe try wearing headphones or earplugs for the noise? Dimming lights to lower other sensory stimuli and if you can, asking for help w your baby to get some break from all the touch?
Sending love
@@kionateye115 thank you for the suggestions ❤️ I do use ear plugs, and they help a bit! Being touched out is the bigger issue. I do try to find support, but unfortunately my support system isn’t exactly helpful at the moment. I will keep trying though
Parental sensory overload is normal and really common just so you know you're not alone, especially be touched out.
I know you mentioned noise cancelling headphones which is great, it might help to also get noise reducing earplugs to take the edge off and you can wear more often, you'll still be able to hear conversations and crying but will hopefully make it more manageable. Besides incorporating the other rests mentioned in this video, if you're still feeling overloaded something you can do is simply "walk away and find quiet" which isn't as bad as it sounds and you are still a good mom and it's recommended by psychologists.
Leave your partner in charge of the baby, but if you can't just put the baby in a safe spot (maybe even put the TV on them) and remove yourself from the situation, obviously it depends on age if they are allowed be left alone. Similiar to how you would leave them to sleep/nap.
Put on those headphones/earbuds and sit outside, or in a dark quiet room, or take a bath, and just exist and relax. Another option could be putting then in a stroller and you go out for a walk, that way you can relax and baby will be entertained without touching you and still be with you (incase you're uncomfortable leaving them alone)
There are a lot of articles and blogs (even reddit where moms have said your exact worry) that are more centered for parental overstimulation that might help you more
My friend has said the same thing, and she said something that helped her was filling a glove with beans (her son will not be calm if he's not being touched, but this means she feels overstimulated) and using it to trick her baby into thinking her hand is on him so he falls asleep lmao unsure if that is helpful at all, but thought I'd share just in case. Wishing you all the best!
Biggest thing to me is that doing a small version of the thing, that you want and decide to do can be restful.
Like with the soccer thing. You rest your body physically by stretching and doing low intensity things between practice and games.
I can do the same; build emotional energy by small intensity things that would be the equivalent of stretching or going for a walk and that can help me recuperate emotional energy.
Just wanna say thank you… I’ve been struggling, but scrolling on your channel… gave me a tiny bit of hope for myself, so thank you
Thank you Hayley . Don’t feel so alone in this
hii!! ❤❤
Does anyone else hear bass tones in the background? 😫 I tried to ignore it, but my ND brain couldn’t
So proud of you too Haley! Loved this video so much, I’m an isolationist by nature so the Social rest was a big surprise for me. Thanks so much for sharing 🥰
I definitely need mental, spiritual, emotional, creative and social rest these days. Going through this list game me a good idea on why I have been on the edge of burning out, having meltdowns daily. My work and social life has been so draining recently. Thank you.
I really like you! Glad to have found your vids on adhd, I can so relate and appreciate the advice and sharing your personal experiences. Nice to know I’m not alone ❤
This was such a fantastic video, thank you so much for taking the time to make it.
There were a few that joggled my brain, but the one that really stood out was the 'emotional rest'. I'm a teacher, and though I don't work full-time at it, your video made me realise that, as someone who is naturally very empathetic and nurturing, I can't help but hold a lot of emotional space for my students. In fact, I've been doing a lot of research into the science and psychology behind learning recently, and it turns out that our brains actually become more effective at learning when we feel safe and like we belong. So it suddenly made sense why I was always intuitively holding that emotional space for my kiddos.
So to circle back, I now know why I find teaching so draining as a neurodivergent person, even though I also find it incredibly rewarding - I am holding all of this emotional space for my students so that they get to learn in a way that challenges them within a safe environment. In short, I'm trying to show up for them in a way that I wish more teachers had shown up for me when I was growing up.
Thank you so much! This helped me a lot because I've a hot mess for days sitting in my work chair all the time (that's right in front my bed) staring into space not knowing what to do next to get better. Definitively, getting away from a screen is the best that I've done in weeks. I went to my balcony and sat on the floor crossed legged and I watched the trees and the clouds while listening to Joe Hisaishi's music. I feel like my mind has started uncluttering just by doing that. When I stood up from the floor my leg was dead but my heart felt lighter.
This framework is GAME CHANGING. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for this video! This came into my algorithm at just the right time as I’ve been feeling burnt out at work. My job is demanding in a lot of these areas and this is giving me ideas of how to tackle that. I didn’t give credit to how overwhelming it is sensory wise, that was one that stood out to me.
I love your voice and the soothing way you share information. Thank you for spreading your healing vibes ❤
This video was truly helpful. I feel so rejuvenated after following these suggestions. Thank you!
wow, this video was really eye opening
for me, a person who developed really destructive perfectionism, as a consequence of being undiagnosed for 24 years of my 25 year life, this is what I needed
I clicked on your video “how to stop lazy era” and you directed me here - and i’m so thankful for that
my journey to healing is slow, but i’m here and i’m happy my life is becoming better and easier for me to live ❤ and your videos are a part of it! Thank you for all your work