My problem wasn't approaching women, whatever nervousness came with that was manageable. It was asking them to get together that I couldn't do. I froze up totally and couldn't talk. It was instantaneous, there was no way to reduce it into smaller steps. Talking to them generally wasn't a problem, I ftequently had good conversations going, in one instance I even knew she was interested in me, and I still couldn't do it. It didn't matter what I might suggest we do, so soon as the intention were even in mind I'd freeze up, go completely blank and not be able to talk. How can this be divided into smaller steps? How do you halfway ask someone out? This was me on my college days, now quite a few years ago. Everything else in my life went well, but I dated no one, despite my otherwise quite involved social life. No one was able to help me with this, therapy and counseling achieved nothing. My frustration became a serious depression which got a life of its own and has followed me ever since.
it happens the same to me talking to a woman gives me little or 0 anxiety but when things start getting more intimated the other person starts getting closer is when the anxiety starts to kick off and i try to disconected my self from that person to be hable to have less anxiety
@@elfrank333 Getting close wasn't a problem in itself. On those rare occasions when she took the initiative I was amazed at how calm I was. I just couldn't do it myself.
Thankyou Thomas for that insightful and guiding clip. I myself have just started exposure therapy, but I’m struggling to find practical, repetitive exposure exercises without becoming that weirdo that’s always doing that exposure exercises to the surrounding public! Any ideas on different techniques?
I once have to give a presentation on stage it was a group presentation for all the new interns in the company and its in front of 50+ people, i was scared but I decided to not to listen to my negative thoughts and convince myself with positive thoughts and it calmed me down a little bit and when the presentation comes i did it and i was nervuis but i think I did it well, but guess what happend ? after the presentation, someone from Toastmasters has to give everyone his rating from 5 in his presentation performance he came to everyone in and gave him his rating in front of people but for me came to me and he took me to a private room and he said your rating is 1/5 in all criteria you were very nervuis and your voice is shaky and you seem like you don't have confidence and you was the weakest one of the interns , I know he doesn't mean to hurt me but this made me depressed a little and made me believe my negative thoughts are just real what the solution here?
My problem wasn't approaching women, whatever nervousness came with that was manageable. It was asking them to get together that I couldn't do. I froze up totally and couldn't talk. It was instantaneous, there was no way to reduce it into smaller steps. Talking to them generally wasn't a problem, I ftequently had good conversations going, in one instance I even knew she was interested in me, and I still couldn't do it.
It didn't matter what I might suggest we do, so soon as the intention were even in mind I'd freeze up, go completely blank and not be able to talk.
How can this be divided into smaller steps? How do you halfway ask someone out?
This was me on my college days, now quite a few years ago. Everything else in my life went well, but I dated no one, despite my otherwise quite involved social life.
No one was able to help me with this, therapy and counseling achieved nothing. My frustration became a serious depression which got a life of its own and has followed me ever since.
it happens the same to me talking to a woman gives me little or 0 anxiety but when things start getting more intimated the other person starts getting closer is when the anxiety starts to kick off and i try to disconected my self from that person to be hable to have less anxiety
@@elfrank333 Getting close wasn't a problem in itself. On those rare occasions when she took the initiative I was amazed at how calm I was. I just couldn't do it myself.
Thankyou Thomas for that insightful and guiding clip.
I myself have just started exposure therapy, but I’m struggling to find practical, repetitive exposure exercises without becoming that weirdo that’s always doing that exposure exercises to the surrounding public! Any ideas on different techniques?
How much exposure should I do for a certain social situation in the anxiety hierarchy
I heard that "flooding" is a faster technique to eliminate anxiety. Is it?
Flooding?
It has a high risk of backfiring. A clinical psychologist here.
I once have to give a presentation on stage it was a group presentation for all the new interns in the company and its in front of 50+ people, i was scared but I decided to not to listen to my negative thoughts and convince myself with positive thoughts and it calmed me down a little bit and when the presentation comes i did it and i was nervuis but i think I did it well, but guess what happend ?
after the presentation, someone from Toastmasters has to give everyone his rating from 5 in his presentation performance he came to everyone in and gave him his rating in front of people but for me came to me and he took me to a private room and he said your rating is 1/5 in all criteria you were very nervuis and your voice is shaky and you seem like you don't have confidence and you was the weakest one of the interns , I know he doesn't mean to hurt me but this made me depressed a little
and made me believe my negative thoughts are just real
what the solution here?
Hi, thanks for commenting. I just published a video inspired by what you said. th-cam.com/video/Tu56C4ptn4U/w-d-xo.html
Guidance And Encouragement To Beat Agoraphobia : agoraphobiaexposure.com/