Self-Esteem: How It Changes And 2 Ways to Boost It

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
  • Self-esteem can change in a snap. It's not always your fault, but it is 100% within your control to take it back when you've lost it. In this video I talk about how your self-esteem changes over your life, then things that help and hurt it, and how to get it back.
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ความคิดเห็น • 693

  • @MrNemitri
    @MrNemitri 2 ปีที่แล้ว +582

    maybe that's why my self esteem has been improving, instead of feeling bad about myself or jealous when I see someone that's good at a certain task, I admire them for it and try to adapt and/or emulate said quality in me, it has helped me become a better person for sure.

    • @sunitafisher4758
      @sunitafisher4758 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      🌸 That’s brilliant 👍🏼
      It’s essentially what I do, I love taking a page out to of someone else’s book and try to better myself, it didn’t matter if it was from a teen, adult, child or elderly person person. I admire quality in others & really love educating myself on something new everyday
      In equal measure I also try to learn from the mistakes of others so that I can avoid a headache lol

    • @prapanthebachelorette6803
      @prapanthebachelorette6803 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nice point of view

    • @Dorito_Dust
      @Dorito_Dust 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yes yes I really needed to hear this right now. I never give myself enough credit and I struggle from social anxiety because I see other peoples strengths and tell myself I’m not good enough and that they won’t like me. What a toxic cycle I go around and around on with myself. I need to celebrate other peoples strengths and my own.

  • @nugrahadwianggoro
    @nugrahadwianggoro 2 ปีที่แล้ว +856

    Aside of the consistent quality contents, can we also appreciate Dr. Marks' consistently amusing thumbnails? Hope you guys accidentally remember something that make you smile today!

    • @DrJustininJapan
      @DrJustininJapan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      YES!! I look forward to the new thumbnail each week and am never disappointed 😁👏

    • @audreymo63
      @audreymo63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Dr. Marks is greatly appreciated..

    • @nugrahadwianggoro
      @nugrahadwianggoro 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@audreymo63 you were right, sorry and thanks for the reminder!

    • @joaomarcelo742
      @joaomarcelo742 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yes, she is so humorous!!!

    • @taotaostrong
      @taotaostrong 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😃♥️Thanks!

  • @robinhatherall6779
    @robinhatherall6779 2 ปีที่แล้ว +578

    A famous drag queen once said. Self esteem is gained through doing esteemable acts (Katya). This line changed my life. Just doing those simple things like calling your Mother, making your house tidy, taking time out to play with a pet.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +106

      That's a great line!

    • @deonn_6064
      @deonn_6064 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m going to us this

    • @osahju914
      @osahju914 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      When did she say that?

    • @robinhatherall6779
      @robinhatherall6779 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I think it was on a unnh episode with Trixie

    • @XxdextriousxX
      @XxdextriousxX 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Omg that made me smile reading that! I love Katya

  • @DrJustininJapan
    @DrJustininJapan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +512

    Focusing on other people's strengths to boost your own self-esteem seems like an often overlooked (or counterintuitive) but powerful way to improve how you view yourself. So interesting!! And it also makes you become more social in nature which can provide a good support network instead of going down the route of self-isolation which is common when people are experiencing challenges with their self-esteem

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Yes indeed Dr. Justin. Thanks for your input!

    • @jonasbertilbellander
      @jonasbertilbellander 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      That's if you are not Jealous but if you are then it's hard to do.

    • @jasminvomwalde7497
      @jasminvomwalde7497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I‘ve used this technique abundantly in my life. In fact I learned all the important life skills from finding people who’s strengths I admire and trying to emulate their behaviours :) can recommend 11/10

    • @debbiemilam2204
      @debbiemilam2204 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Absolutely!

    • @debbiemilam2204
      @debbiemilam2204 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Great point!

  • @londonjones7040
    @londonjones7040 2 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    My sister has been doing “I am “ positive affirmations with my niece since she was a baby. As strange as that was to me, I can now understand the importance of building up a child’s self esteem from an early age.

  • @selmatlemsani2789
    @selmatlemsani2789 2 ปีที่แล้ว +255

    I just can't get enough of the content you make Tracey.. it has helped me in ways not even my therapist could ever do.

    • @nancymosby7369
      @nancymosby7369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      👏👏👏

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I’m so happy to be helpful 😊

    • @addysaw
      @addysaw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I agree! All therapists I saw can't even remotely measure up to her

  • @nullinvoid1415
    @nullinvoid1415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Puberty was the worst time for me.
    I was awkward, called the ugly girl. Started my period, always felt too fat, had an eating disorder. All with an alcoholic mom. Definitely took at a decade or so to find my self worth.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      That sound like a really tough time. I’m glad you’ve come out on the other side.

    • @nullinvoid1415
      @nullinvoid1415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@DrTraceyMarks Thank you so much Dr. Marks

  • @johnmackenzie8559
    @johnmackenzie8559 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    My childhood and early adulthood was hell. Not a single friend or anyone to trust. Highly abusive and it wasn't until I hit my mid-20s that I realised that what I suffered was not normal. I thought it was normal as I had no reference point.

    • @min1797
      @min1797 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Hope things are feeling better for you now. I had the same experience, I remember being shocked that other people weren’t raised the way I was. They were simply loved for who they were without needing to be any better. I was shocked and that’s when real sadness hit me. I am much better now! I like myself and respect myself now with uncountable efforts over the many years. I wish you self-acceptance, kindnesses and forgiveness, ultimately towards happiness!

  • @chanceDdog2009
    @chanceDdog2009 2 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    My self esteem was very poor due to emotional neglect and sexual abuse as a child. It was not until my late 20s , early 30s
    That I really worked on it . Learning to love myself in a healthy way really helped in building better relationships . My self esteem still fluctuates but I'm okay with that.

    • @ima.m.1658
      @ima.m.1658 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad you’re doing okay now.

    • @tatianakidd6799
      @tatianakidd6799 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have low self-esteem I was bullied when I was younger. How do I raise my self-esteem? I am 25 years old

    • @elhadjdiallo633
      @elhadjdiallo633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@tatianakidd6799 well learn to love yourself and stay away from toxic people

    • @johntrojan9653
      @johntrojan9653 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tatianakidd6799 Take a Dance Class where women outnumber the men 10 to 1 - you'll be SO popular AND IN HIGH DEMAND, **Guaranteed**. Or a Tennis Class ✔️ - better still, a French Cooking Class for the identical reasons. ✔️✔️😄✔️✔️. Good luck ! Now, have at it , TIGER ! GRRRRRRR "'!!💪!!"'
      ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

    • @Antilovesyou
      @Antilovesyou 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m sorry you had to go through that I’m glad you’re doing better

  • @TLDAVIS1951
    @TLDAVIS1951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +219

    Early blows to one's self esteem can last a lifetime. During my adolescence I was told that I had developed lumbar scoliosis. As I got older it really started to manifest itself. One day another child pointed me out and called me "funny made", I was so embarrassed. Needless to say, I never recovered from that remark. It followed me to college where I refused to participate in freshman p. e. classes because was afraid to undress in front of others I received an F for the course which dropped my overall GPA to 3.5. I was reluctant to approach
    girls for fear of being rejected. I never got married. Presently at 70 years old I am still embarrassed by those early memories.

    • @miconjohnson5456
      @miconjohnson5456 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Omg I can feel your pain. Kids can be cruel I am sooo very sorry

    • @MatthewOhioKettering
      @MatthewOhioKettering 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Dang! Sorry to hear that!

    • @MatthewOhioKettering
      @MatthewOhioKettering 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      You may be the only person I know to get an F and still pull a 3.5 GPA. That is extremely hard to do!

    • @IZZY-eo3dp
      @IZZY-eo3dp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I’m sorry man, wish u had support around that growing up.

    • @karenwilliamston7771
      @karenwilliamston7771 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Searchingfortruth I don't believe your story. I think it's made up. js

  • @mr.energy3706
    @mr.energy3706 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I am glad you exist

    • @adriennesmith2133
      @adriennesmith2133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That is a very sweet comment 😊

    • @mr.energy3706
      @mr.energy3706 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@adriennesmith2133 thank you for encouraging me to say kind words

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks so much Mr Energy. I appreciate you 😊

    • @mr.energy3706
      @mr.energy3706 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@DrTraceyMarks you don't know how bad I needed that... Thank you 😭😭😭

  • @yolandam611
    @yolandam611 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    I'm 51 and I've never had good self esteem. I truly want to feel confident and am always working on it. My mother also has low self esteem

    • @joebrown6768
      @joebrown6768 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I'm late 40s and unfortunately too have terrible self esteem issues, makes life so much harder.
      It's a trait I inherited from my mum.
      O how I'd love if there was a magic pill one could take, 😀

    • @rachelsanders2314
      @rachelsanders2314 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Y Mason - don’t give up hope! Keep at it. 😊

    • @quicksilver0294
      @quicksilver0294 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Do you have kids? And if so how do you help them maintain their confidence?

    • @yolandam611
      @yolandam611 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@quicksilver0294 No I do not have kids

    • @thinkingjohn2099
      @thinkingjohn2099 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I am 60 always and always had low self esteem but have accepted it

  • @IM-uh5tk
    @IM-uh5tk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    How to boost your self-esteem?
    1)
    5:30 recognise and utilise your strengths
    7:04 develop a plan to use your strengths
    7:50 recognise it in others so you become sensitive to the same in you too
    2)
    9:27 learn to accept compliments

  • @bruh666
    @bruh666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    Had extremely low self esteem as a teenager, and it's only been going uphill since adulthood through therapy and support (to the point that now I have good self esteem, although it is a little fragile and easily influenced) , however I still get extremely uncomfortable from getting compliments. I've learned to accept compliments and not downplay them and accept them at a surface level, but I still get this inherent physical discomfort from getting compliments, I wonder if that will ever change.

    • @Dave934
      @Dave934 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I feel weird getting compliments too, I always appreciate them, but I don’t know how to accept them.

  • @jussjess2829
    @jussjess2829 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I suffered from a debilitating form of low self esteem, from the age of 7-30. Deep feelings of worthlessness, sorrow, ugliness etc. this came from my life experiences. However, as I got older I began to realize my power and see my value. I realized that while I was suffering I making myself worst than it had to be. Once I noticed my strengths and started taking care of myself things got better. Thanks for listening yall lol JussJess

  • @Yolduranduran
    @Yolduranduran 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    I always tell myself that no matter what, God loves me and I am good enough for Him. That's all that matters.

  • @SweetBlackSistah
    @SweetBlackSistah 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Hey there Doc, Im going to show my daughter this video. Shes 14 and thinks shes ugly,, low self worth, etc. As gorgeous as she is, I dont understand why she doesnt see her inner and physical beauty. Im working with the baby in boosting her self esteem. 14 is a rough age.

    • @quicksilver0294
      @quicksilver0294 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Awww that makes me so sad to hear. I hope you are able to help her. I’m sure she really is beautiful inside and out 🥺❤️

    • @AMSRMisha
      @AMSRMisha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      She is a strong young woman and you are an amazing mom for finding ways to show her how worthy she is of love! Sending positive energy to you and her when she receives this 🙏🏽

    • @13579hee
      @13579hee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      She's probably in a setting with people around her who do not perceive her attractive

    • @olucatto
      @olucatto 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      is she on tiktok on instagram ? cause on those social medias young girls compare themselves to other girls and thats dangerous, specially on tiktok is so toxic for teenagers

    • @BriaBarrows
      @BriaBarrows 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That can be a hard age:( I’m sorry she feels this way. Firstly, keep her off Instagram and social media for now. Her brain can’t handle it right now. I’m 26 and still get triggered by social media sometimes. Really try to listen to how she feels and what she tells you without invalidating her feelings. You can point out all the things that make her beautiful and unique. And remind her that what others say about her isn’t a fact. 🙏♥️

  • @elin_
    @elin_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bullying during my school years wrecked my brain. Here I am.. A 28 year old, unemployed, depressed woman with very low self-esteem.

    • @Banksmichelle
      @Banksmichelle หลายเดือนก่อน

      Praying you get through this 🙏

  • @BriaBarrows
    @BriaBarrows 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Social factors like media and kids being mean, bullying really plays a role. My elementary years still kinda haunt me.

  • @addysaw
    @addysaw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    So valuable! I learn something from you EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Oh that’s awesome. I’m so glad 😊

  • @MichaelYoder1961
    @MichaelYoder1961 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    great information! As a kid/teen I was bullied for being gay (back in the 70s). I still struggle with my level of self-esteem, but getting involved in the arts (theatre/visual arts/music) I found that I was surrounded by people who embraced "difference". Finding a community of people who love you for being different can really help to boost self-esteem (I think)

  • @jerlinej3516
    @jerlinej3516 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Just bc someone is good at something that I'm not it doesn't mean that they're good at everything..yet this is exactly my way of thinking, which is pretty warped 🤨. Thank you!

    • @dakotahayes308
      @dakotahayes308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Don’t feel bad I’m the same way

  • @Gumbier_Than
    @Gumbier_Than 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "Negative experiences create low self-esteem". Exactly

    • @BriaBarrows
      @BriaBarrows 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes they do. Things kids have said...etc

  • @wareforcoin5780
    @wareforcoin5780 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Man, one day my self esteem took a hit, and I never recovered. I'll try, Dr. Marks, because these sound like pretty good ideas to me.

  • @DeeeeeKay392
    @DeeeeeKay392 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    This was a really informative video. I’m 33 yrs old and I FINALLY accept my body and who I am becoming. It’s been a long time coming. I never really had confidence or high self esteem until now. My husband feels like I’m conceited or thinks too highly of myself. But was totally ok when I was depressed and uncomfortable in my body. I think his feelings are more about how he feels about himself than about me. Keep making great content!! I hope everyone learns to truly love themselves. We are all beautiful souls!

  • @LB-gj1yd
    @LB-gj1yd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank yu for a great video. It has taken me 53 yrs to get my low self-worth into balance. It has caused me many life issues, building a strong platform for my own life. 🙏💖

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m glad you’ve gotten there even if it took 53 years. All the best. 😊

  • @lakiafloyd9557
    @lakiafloyd9557 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I’ve been searching for years on how to improve my self esteem. You’re a God sent! Thank you so much ☺️. As the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear!

    • @Zelicious11
      @Zelicious11 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amen.. You got this gorgeous!! 🤗

  • @McDennant
    @McDennant 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I appreciate you, Dr. Marks. 🙏🏻☺️🌞

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you so much 🙏🏽

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING
    MY LOW SELF WORTH AND LOW SELF ESTEEM. WAS BROUGHT ON BY SEVERE ABUSE.FROM SOME1 THAT IS HIGHLY NARCISSISTIC..
    IM SO INCREDIBLY GLAD TO BE WORKING WITH A LIFE COACH...

    • @audreymo63
      @audreymo63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good for you Demi.👏🏾

    • @demigaines5644
      @demigaines5644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@audreymo63
      Thank you 🙏

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi Demi. You’re welcome and I’m sorry you had that early experience. But I’m glad you have a life coach to help you work through it.👍🏽

  • @natewarren8265
    @natewarren8265 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr. T Marks I say this not puff you up, but I state this because I believe in my heart that God has Anointed you for what you teach and share, I want to say thank you for your obedience whatever it is that cause you to do what you do, God bless you my sister, keep doing the good work you do, amazing simply amazing!!!

  • @Madhatter1781
    @Madhatter1781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    When my "tank" is feeling empty and I'm finding it hard to interact with others because my depression/anxiety is weighing too heavily on me, I come here to hear some kind and helpful words, and it at least gives me a little more to give others :)
    Thanks, Doctor Marks 💜

  • @lilliejune4203
    @lilliejune4203 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I identify as a survivor of childhood incest/ sexual encounters birth to 5 years. I am still working through very deep rooted insecurities that seem to be immoveable.Thank you, this is is very informative, and helpful🙏🏽

    • @claudiacarlson30
      @claudiacarlson30 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's really sad to hear what you have had to go through because of those things that were done to you, when you were just an innocent child. I love listening to Tracey Marks too! I know that we CAN find healing and happiness! Best wishes! 😊

    • @lilliejune4203
      @lilliejune4203 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@claudiacarlson30 💕💕💕💕💕

  • @alexs.3383
    @alexs.3383 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are like a mental health wizard

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks so much Alex! Making helpful information gives me a lot of pleasure.

  • @stevec404
    @stevec404 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wise words. Had they only been understood in the early 1950's...many lives would have been spared much suffering.

  • @RosePetal17
    @RosePetal17 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I think I came out of the womb as a more anxious human, and I remember having many conflicted and less than joyful experiences. Both my parents, I believe, had unhealthy attachments to their parents, so I, of course, took on this pattern. I say this because I have many challenging relationships with others, which makes life unpleasant, and doesn't help in developing healthy self esteem. Having said all that, which is negative, I am listening to you Dr. Marks and now remember that one of my strengths is using my voice, whether for singing or speaking. I want to get into the a field of narrating audiobooks. I really love reading aloud! Thank you for these extremely insightful videos!

  • @jessamine4843
    @jessamine4843 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    not skipping ads as my form of showing appreciation for your quality content 😁

  • @elkeluken5819
    @elkeluken5819 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Dr. My mom was a battered abused woman who gained her self esteem after 70, when she did things she loved as traveling and going out to eat every week 💕

  • @aberrantwhimsy
    @aberrantwhimsy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Thank you for breaking down the process between "activities you're good at/love" and "these are the strengths it takes to do them" (video games -> hand eye coordination, strategizing). Terminal sadbrains and a lifetime of low self-esteem have left my thinking very rigid in some ways, so having someone lay it out with examples is incredibly helpful.
    Thanks for making these really helpful videos!

  • @christinantzachristou7433
    @christinantzachristou7433 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "You CAN take it back "... !❤❤❤

  • @cobalius
    @cobalius 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I would say that seeing your life in a perspective with respect to your own past is a good way to archive that. It'll give you feelings of security and stability and those are the basis for self-esteem in my eyes. But it only works for adult people i guess.

  • @SweetStuffOnMonarchLane
    @SweetStuffOnMonarchLane 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a wonderful world we would have if, instead of bullying people because they are different, encourage and compliment each others strengths. We need to change what we value in this society. Instead of valuing looks and money and power, value kindness, generosity, and intelligence. Great video doctor!

  • @cardinalsin.
    @cardinalsin. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My sister was my best therapist; I had the worst self esteem in the world and she just said “you never compliment anyone, don’t you like it when people compliment you?” Ever since then I compliment people all the time regardless if they say something nice back & it has helped a ton.

  • @candy2325
    @candy2325 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    One thing that I’m proud of my self is my personality and being warm around other people. I feel like once I show a charismatic side to others and being nice to people it definitely boosts my self esteem. Having warm relationships with people is important! I feel like when I’m not being that way it affects me and I’ll internalize that feeling and think people don’t “like me” when I’m the one that needs to take the initiative and talk to others. I always hated being way too quiet as a kid, so now as an adult I’m breaking that cycle and putting myself out there. I actually had a friend that told me recently that her friends from work loved me (we met at her house) and they think I’m a nice person…it made me feel good! I accept that compliment 😁

    • @claudiacarlson30
      @claudiacarlson30 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😊I love your comment! I've been feeling that same way, finally, for the past year or so, at 61! It feels really good, to see that I do have something to offer other people by being kind, cheerful and really wanting to help them, AND being recognized and appreciated for it. I work in a very nice retail shop, and the customers are kind and down to earth! It also gives me the courage to be much closer to family too, and I am so grateful! Hopefully it can let me be kinder to myself as well.

  • @patch3sth3cat4
    @patch3sth3cat4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    You are so eloquent, and the advice you give is life changing! 😊 Thank you for providing this service to us all ! 😁

  • @biba350
    @biba350 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    When I meet someone I tend to tell them most of my life story is this sign of low self esteem great topic

    • @nullinvoid1415
      @nullinvoid1415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm not a therapist at all, but maybe this is something you could work on controlling?

    • @DrJustininJapan
      @DrJustininJapan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'd love to see a video on that topic as well:)

    • @snaxicakes
      @snaxicakes 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I don't think it's a sign of low self-esteem. How do the people react?

    • @purplebunny7728
      @purplebunny7728 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      A counselor explained to me about boundaries. I didn't have any. Ask someone or several someone's about your boundaries. Good luck it took a while for me.

    • @myvettebeauty9005
      @myvettebeauty9005 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I once had a pal like this, but she always mentioned feeling lonely. Maybe is that? Do you have someone in your personal life to speak to Daily or even weekly? ❤️

  • @valeria91
    @valeria91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I had low self esteem my whole life. It ruined any opportunity’s I had. I look back at my school days and I cry because I wasted so much time. I didn’t get to enjoy anything and I still struggle now. I have kids and i see how confident they are. Something I can’t even do now. I walk around lifeless and worthless :/

  • @kimberle2008
    @kimberle2008 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was so informative! I didn’t understand why I had high self esteem in my 20s but it started to weaken as I got closer to 40. Now I’m almost 44 and have finally started to regain love for myself!

  • @computerfreak1236
    @computerfreak1236 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I just got ghosted from someone I dated for 4 months. It was a stressful period in his life and I cared a lot about him and helped him working through his emotions in a caring but also challenging way. I had my boundaries. He seemed like he never did that before and was very appreciative during that time. I now discovered that he is back on dating apps and it left me speechless and very hurt. He did not bother to send me one explanation, but just avoid this situation completely. My self-esteem got really hurt from this and it is very hard for me to not internalise it and blame myself. Ghosting is the most easy and hurtful way out, especially if the person was very vulnerable with you and now acts like you never existed. This video helps because it teaches me that my ability to listen and care is a strength and not a weakness even when other people cannot appreciate that. I will work through that but for now I'm just really hurt by this behaviour and I'm struggling with this.

  • @muhammed7922
    @muhammed7922 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Do a video on social anxeity and mild depression

    • @DrJustininJapan
      @DrJustininJapan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      another good video idea!!

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hi Ahmad? The two together? I just filmed a social anxiety video today. That will come out in a few weeks. But it’s not about depression in combination

  • @KeoKitti
    @KeoKitti 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Your thumbnails are the absolute best 😂

  • @Agata_Balbina
    @Agata_Balbina 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I feel that my self worth/self love elevated after a big crisis in my late 20's. I had to start over , revaluate myself/my life, open my eyes to see my own flaws and accept my situation.

  • @melissahalim8758
    @melissahalim8758 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel that when I do things that is noble, or sacrificial, or being disciplined doing the right things, my self esteem and humility increase at the same time. Basically I just respect myself more by doing things that I would respect others do

    • @claudiacarlson30
      @claudiacarlson30 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I love your comment. I really needed to hear this... so thanks! 😊

  • @BriaBarrows
    @BriaBarrows 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Family environment and life experiences definitely play a role. Whew, them elementary to high school days are tough. It ebbs and flow as you get older. It’s all growing and learning once you hit your twenties.

  • @Andreas-gh6is
    @Andreas-gh6is 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Everyone that ever loved me grew to regret that, usually quite quickly. So I do have lots of good reasons to believe I am not worth to love.

  • @Sunshine-yk2eg
    @Sunshine-yk2eg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Throughout my life, a lot of my toxic extended family and friends would "complement" me, and then proceed to whine and complain about their own lives, and how they are so jealous of me. It sort of instilled this weird cognitive distortion in me and made me think that I was somehow a bad person for being "better than" them, for not struggling as much as they were or whatever. It completely erased all the hardwork and efforts god knows I put in on a daily basis to achieve that thing, and turned the achievements into shame. This was all so subtle that I couldn't even catch it, and i got conditioned to not only not accept complements and downplay them, but also to degrade myself in reply, and complain about what i dont like about my life, to make sure the other person knows that my life isn't perfect, and doesn't feel bad about theirs because of me. And that in turn created a very negative and toxic mental environment for me, and turned me into a negative person, and played a role in ruining my self esteem. So moral of the story, ACCEPT THAT COMPLEMENT FOLKS

    • @SoarToLiberate
      @SoarToLiberate 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's really twisted. You know you deserve all the complement, that's all, period.

  • @AprilJayne
    @AprilJayne 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "If you set your sights on being critical, you will be more Cristal of yourself than you are of others

  • @O-Demi
    @O-Demi 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    I am autistic and my problem is that I don't have enough self-reflection to understand whether I have high or low self-esteem. I don't think I have it at all because I can't look at myself introspectively, but I highly relate to people who struggle with low self-esteem, while some of my actions are seen as me being selfish ("thinking too highly of myself"), and I don't understand why.

  • @miathemouse5659
    @miathemouse5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have a friend who is suffering from low self-esteem after an abusive relationship, and I am absolutely going to send this to her. As much as I try to break down what helped my self-esteem, I feel like Dr. Marks is much better at expressing these concepts than I will ever be (not insulting myself, just acknowledging that this is her field, not mine).

  • @axelmejia3878
    @axelmejia3878 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr Tracey, for being a part of so many of our healing. Please keep making videos!

  • @madisonsavenue889
    @madisonsavenue889 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dr. Tracy Marks, I don’t even know where to begin but you are literally my second mom. Your content is absolutely outstanding and you are truly changing lives. I am currently watching your video on “ Negative Reprogramming”; and it has given me so much hope, reassurance, and actionable tools I can use to change my life right now. I love your content and I wish you success and happiness in everything you do!!!! Love you Dr. Marks !!!!❤️

  • @tarynwebb4394
    @tarynwebb4394 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I appreciate how you're teaching on how to improve yourself and recognizing those opportunities to build up others because they both matter.

  • @stephaniekanoun4409
    @stephaniekanoun4409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you, Dr. Marks! This helped me understand why my parents telling me I was unplanned and came at the worst possible time was so devastating at 13. As an adult, I can understand the pressures they were under, but have been able to excuse them telling me that. This helped me understand that dynamic better and will help me to guide my own children through these stages. ❤️

  • @jasminecontreras7341
    @jasminecontreras7341 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This really helped me! I went to the gym yesterday and went to the workout cinema which is a little movie theater with a bunch of cardio equipment, and while watching one of the earlier Star Wars movies and working out I noticed the individual strengths of the characters in the movie. What a beautiful way to look at things. The characters are wise, ambitious, supportive, intuitive, etc in their own way, and strengths really don’t compare because everyone has at least one strength. And like you said it makes you look inward and almost instantly the strengths that you have because when you’re able to see strengths in other people it seems to come more naturally. I just talked to my psychiatrist on the phone yesterday, but I definitely got better advice from you! You have a new subscriber thank you ☺️

  • @MatthewOhioKettering
    @MatthewOhioKettering 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Dr. Marks! Thank you all for supporting her channel, so she can continue to make educational videos. Happy Wednesday!

  • @J0ELLEx
    @J0ELLEx 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The way you put it with everyone having different strengths and taking note of how people vary in their contributions really clicked for me. I don’t have to be good at the things I’m not good at, because what I can do is enough to be worthwhile. Thanks Dr Tracy !!

  • @Everything_asmr342
    @Everything_asmr342 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I've been learning so much from the quality contents you put out, I'm in the process of healing and becoming a better me and here's been my go-to-place

  • @zoefernandez5369
    @zoefernandez5369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The work you put into these videos is astounding 💔💔 thank you for sharing your knowledge in such an approachable way, I am forever grateful for your channel 💖 sincerely hope everyone here has a nice day 🥰

    • @DrJustininJapan
      @DrJustininJapan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      totally agree, how Dr. Marks presents the information is just so easy to understand, but incredibly useful as well

  • @adaobieshi4297
    @adaobieshi4297 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was super helpful! Thank you so much for providing detailed “how’s” concerning raising ones self esteem as well as reasons and patterns around life circumstances and fluctuating self esteem. It really empowered me to know that I can very practically change the way I feel about myself and help others feel more stable about themselves.

  • @mrs.humbledfive9297
    @mrs.humbledfive9297 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This has been therapy for me for 3 years now.

  • @goranmarkov5018
    @goranmarkov5018 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just in time!
    I needed this.
    Thank you.

  • @LuuvYouLongTime
    @LuuvYouLongTime 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for being so clear in how you explain your information. I am a psychology student and although I have an understanding of these things, I can never explain it quiet like you, so thank you so much!!!

  • @violetlove1893
    @violetlove1893 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Dr Marks. You're always so positive and helpful.

  • @Sunshine-yk2eg
    @Sunshine-yk2eg 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I cannot believe content like this is available on the Internet for free! 😭 life changing and so beautifully explained!!

  • @audreymo63
    @audreymo63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Dr. Marks 💛

  • @MsSemki
    @MsSemki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great advices I've never heard of before. Excited to try them.

  • @ArtByHazel
    @ArtByHazel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh we love healthy self-esteem.
    It took years to get to this happy place again after letting go of the old programming.
    Thank you for this awesome video. ❤️

  • @homoerotic85
    @homoerotic85 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just love and adore you, you explain things amazingly well and your non-judgmental which makes you a gem 💎 of a person! ☮❤🙂

  • @nangelov
    @nangelov ปีที่แล้ว

    I found the channel recently, and I must say, I love the clarity that Dr. Marks explains with. It makes the things she says so much more convincing.

  • @QuietTom
    @QuietTom 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video Dr. Marks. This is my greatest challenge in life.

  • @strigoviro5785
    @strigoviro5785 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    LOVE THIS!!!! And the worksheet is awesome. Thank you so much. You are THE BEST, Dr Tracey.

  • @tymckenzie5000
    @tymckenzie5000 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    really appreciate this video Dr. Marks! it was affirming & gave me hope about my self esteem and those who i know that have low esteem. 🧡

  • @dukenorthcarolina3149
    @dukenorthcarolina3149 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dr . Marks is such a beautiful person and she has helped me out of some really dark times because she knows what she is talking about and she also gives a person a type of solution a hope to look forward to.

  • @kelliew.4285
    @kelliew.4285 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent video! So helpful! Why is it that I always find more comfort from psychiatrists than therapists?

  • @33Kellymc
    @33Kellymc 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What great info on self-esteem! Thanks, Dr. Marks!

  • @valodimopoulou8865
    @valodimopoulou8865 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent information, as always!😊Thank you!

  • @thereisnoninadria
    @thereisnoninadria 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video!! Thanks for putting this together for us! 🥰

  • @luroluroluro
    @luroluroluro ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you very much. I just noticed that I am unable to see beauty and worthiness in myself and I always notice what others do not do well because I grew up with my mother that did this overcriticism to me and to others, even strangers, all the time, all days. I am so trained to notice every small details which is not in the “right” place that I became totally numb and I always feel that everything I do doesn’t mean anything. You suggest us to do some exercises in recognize others people skills so I would start saying that you really seems a nice person, a beautiful human being, smart, patient and also funny and I really think that this channel is very useful, even for someone like me who already do therapy. Mental health should have more space in our life and I think that what you are doing with your channel is very great and compassionate thought others. I am doing my best in became a better human, even if suffer from chronic depression, so I think today I did another step in my journey thanks to you 😊

  • @alexiaharrington2437
    @alexiaharrington2437 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    your videos are excellent Dr. Marks’!! I just found ur channel a couple weeks ago & i’m in love with the way you so easily explain complex subjects.

  • @michelekurlan6489
    @michelekurlan6489 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Had no idea there was a trajectory. Always figured ya have confidence or ya don't.
    These vids are delivered with grace and oh so helpful💝

  • @dama_shares
    @dama_shares 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dr. Tracey…Thank You so much for clarifying an often misunderstood topic. Your videos are very useful and refreshing….even essential! ❤️

  • @serotoninandtea
    @serotoninandtea 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You make such good videos. I learned one thing about accepting compliments is I also have to ABSORB them. I would say "thank you" but brush it aside or diminish it in my head. But thinking of them as "gifts" is really helpful as I consider it takes an effort to give a compliment and this person felt i was worth that effort

  • @girodesentimientos
    @girodesentimientos 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm so happy that I discovered your channel, thanks!

  • @ashiztharebirth
    @ashiztharebirth 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was and is an amazing lesson... & so I wanted 2 extend you the compliment and appreciation for your time and clear explanation of topics that seem so difficult at times to articulate properly. Thank you!

  • @tristantries9211
    @tristantries9211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Man I wish you were my therapists. Your so effective and clear. I have tried therapy before but therapists shopping overwhelmed me. I appreciate these videos. I have had multiple traumatic events and have had low self esteem since I was 10. It's encouraging to hear clear instructions on how to start working on it (even if I'm a bit sad to hear it will be much harder now that I'm 30).

  • @finnajane
    @finnajane 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Another awesome video Dr. Marks!

  • @ncp3077
    @ncp3077 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you that was very inspiring, I am a psych rn and listening to you makes me want to go further with my education.

  • @middledog466
    @middledog466 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    friggin love your work!!! thank you for being so accessible, i checked out your website n i totally appreciate !!

  • @glynette6570
    @glynette6570 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for these weekly videos-they’re interesting and helpful.

  • @jeraldwatson6394
    @jeraldwatson6394 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you so much for the content you create! It's been so helpful to supplement the work I'm doing in therapy. You break extremely complex psychological concepts and make them understandable.

  • @luna9096
    @luna9096 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You have help me grown so much. I can't thank you enough for changing so many peoples lives including my own ❤️

    • @Pllayer064
      @Pllayer064 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      aaaw how tall are you now?