How to Be More DISCIPLINED - 6 Ways to Master Self Control

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

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  • @Thomasfrank
    @Thomasfrank  4 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    Learn how to build strong habits that actually stick - take my FREE habit-building course: collegeinfogeek.com/go/habit-course/ (this is an affiliate link, so using it also supports my channel 😀 )

  • @Salman-td5mq
    @Salman-td5mq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2227

    *"How strange and foolish is man. He loses his health in gaining wealth. Then, to regain his health he wastes his wealth. He ruins his present while worrying about his future, but weeps in the future by recalling his past. He lives as though death shall never come to him, but dies in a way as if he was never born"*
    Attributed to Imam Ali (ra) (Idk if it's authentic or not)

    • @hhfbko
      @hhfbko 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      H8j8bub0j 0h 9y 8tv7t tctctc9g 9g 8y 8yc Baba Baba baba Baba baba Baba baba boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom beam Beam beam Beam bl bl bl Beatles Beatles Beatles Beatles battle battle battle battle battle Brim Brim bloom bloom blam blam blam blam boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Baba blah blah blah blah blah

    • @reecebartlett8565
      @reecebartlett8565 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Do you know what is worthless that way of thinking, a person with that sort of perception has such a common mindset even though he/she think his/her mindset is somehow unique it is just nihilistic and most people commonly subconsciously hold to these same beliefs they are about 90% of the world that why they don't ever create impact or apply there life to make the lives of others better or build their own lives they assume they are powerless and so become enslaved to their own notion that their is no hope for them but this might be a shock buddy everybody doesn't live that way.

    • @riachia9452
      @riachia9452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wait a minute, this sounds like Seneca

    • @georgenovak2395
      @georgenovak2395 4 ปีที่แล้ว +148

      @@reecebartlett8565 Its a quote directed to the greedy merchant-folks and tribal chieftains of the Arab peninsula, in the seventh century AD. In another quote, this man has said "Work for your afterlife as if you will die as soon as tomorrow, and work for your life as if you live forever", and similarly, the meaning is very theological, and talks about the afterlife's importance in a Muslim's life. It comes exaggerated in this way as though to inspire, but this Imam was not a man who stood against hard work; he worked as a well digger despite being a caliph, a position that gives one absolute authority over an Islamic empire that extended from Persia to Tunisia. He gave charity to all who needed it, even Christian citizens of the Rashiddun caliphate.
      It comes to no surprise that this selfless, hard working islamic champion would guide his people into Religion's ultimate goal: seeking God's salvation and entering his heavens. To be able to achieve the latter, one must dedicate themselves to God's worship, and the following of his orders.
      In the Islamic scripture, known as the Quran (The evidence), and in the Prophet's quotes (The Hadith), it is implied that knowledge, hard work and discipline are required from a Muslim, whilst also adhering to God's word, in worshiping, charity, being nice, etc.

    • @reecebartlett8565
      @reecebartlett8565 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Thanks bro for the context I was a bit quick to attack.

  • @Money_Making_Mentality
    @Money_Making_Mentality หลายเดือนก่อน +416

    There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.

  • @Victor-kv4jt
    @Victor-kv4jt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2954

    1. Create an Identity
    - Instead of saying _"I'm trying to quit X",_ say _"I don't do X"_
    2. Set a Reminder
    - This ensures that you don't forget
    3. Embrace the suck
    - Push through with things that you don't want to do in order to improve self discipline
    4. Target the Fundamentals
    - Focus mainly on health( getting good sleep, eating healthy, and exercise)
    5. Practice Zazen meditation
    6. Build some habits
    - Use a habit tracker
    - Look for a positive trend, not on being perfect

    • @green0563
      @green0563 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Thank you, this should be pinned.

    • @22chuuya
      @22chuuya 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank youuu!!

    • @GlassRose1431
      @GlassRose1431 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bless you 🙏😅

    • @gabriels.9382
      @gabriels.9382 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Merci beacoup

    • @Ruth-EstherCIVA
      @Ruth-EstherCIVA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thnx

  • @philippebaillargeon5204
    @philippebaillargeon5204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +357

    “Self-discipline is about leaning into resistance. Taking action in spite of how you feel. Living a life by design, not by default. But most importantly, it’s acting in accordance with your thoughts-not your feelings.”
    This is definitely one of the most beautiful quote I ever read.

    • @NathalieLazo
      @NathalieLazo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You explained this really well!
      Thank you for your points about self-discipline!
      I’ll remember this for next time! 😄

    • @Jonwayne777Iloveyouall
      @Jonwayne777Iloveyouall 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow

    • @Jonwayne777Iloveyouall
      @Jonwayne777Iloveyouall 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@NathalieLazo just take a screenshot that's what I did, ain't no remembering it for me unless I see it . LOL

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @gabb314
    @gabb314 6 ปีที่แล้ว +556

    "Start thinking in behavior change in terms of The person you want to embody, rather than the goals that you want to achieve."
    That phrase hit me like a truck, thank you, Tom.

    • @valkyrie273
      @valkyrie273 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Me too man.

    • @esaflaka9155
      @esaflaka9155 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yup, it’s two very different answers things to me when i ask myself about my goals vs who i want to be

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

    • @11thBlockParty
      @11thBlockParty ปีที่แล้ว

      **enter the grammar police

  • @venturinghorizons
    @venturinghorizons 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3606

    “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.” - Jim Carey

    • @karenramnath9993
      @karenramnath9993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      Deák Tamás Wow...Jim Carey said almost the same thing as Solomon in Ecclesiasties!

    • @rogeroropeza516
      @rogeroropeza516 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I don't get it..

    • @marsinahpriyanto2582
      @marsinahpriyanto2582 4 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      In other word: being rich is not the answer to ur problems... there are always another problem even if you're rich...

    • @zen608
      @zen608 4 ปีที่แล้ว +128

      @@marsinahpriyanto2582 so true, if you are not satisfied from within, no amount of external remedies will fix you. Self discipline greatly helps with this.

    • @lifewithlex2117
      @lifewithlex2117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wow

  • @Dai.97
    @Dai.97 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2666

    1.Focus on identity
    2.create reminders
    3.embrace the suck
    4.Focus on proper rest and nutrition
    5.Practice meditation
    6.Build new habits
    Thank you brother...Useful video as always..and one thing,can you please make a video on How to go to bed on time?.. I've been trying to build the habit of waking up early and I've failed to reach automaticity because I struggle to go to bed on time..

    • @bhargabborah4194
      @bhargabborah4194 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thanks bro

    • @en2336
      @en2336 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Yes, especially because going to bed and actually falling asleep are sometimes hours apart

    • @dawidsiuba8534
      @dawidsiuba8534 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      its the meditation that makes me realize im concentrated on my breathing so im concentrated on the here and now. instead of what could be or how things should of been

    • @nemonels
      @nemonels 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dai R. Thank you! 🙏🏼

    • @beastyboy2014
      @beastyboy2014 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks mate

  • @ryan99842
    @ryan99842 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +242

    if you want to go deeper into the rabbit hole, 'Unveiling Your Hidden Potential' by Bruce Thornwood is a must-read

  • @razaneisa6074
    @razaneisa6074 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1132

    I have a bad habit of studying according to my mood 🙃 I will sit one day for hours studying and then stop for the next three days💆‍♀️. I want to do the best everyday😔

    • @Datenitefan
      @Datenitefan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      maybe its burn it? just do enough each day to feel good about your work but not enough to get tired of the process

    • @CammieWei
      @CammieWei 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      instead of sprinting and then burning out, try pacing yourself more! pomodoro timer helps me because it forces me to take breaks. make sure to actually follow it tho and try doing it consistently for a week. hope this helps :)

    • @pollygong
      @pollygong 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Don't try to study every single day, you will burn yourself out and it will be counter productive in the long run. Best of luck to you!

    • @Anna_Helena
      @Anna_Helena 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same.

    • @itsyourboyyy
      @itsyourboyyy 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      watch his motivation video.

  • @-Aidan
    @-Aidan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3172

    Cold showers are honestly a gateway, highly recommend.

    • @candacehaley1469
      @candacehaley1469 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Or the consequence of neglecting to put on sunscreen.

    • @robel3786
      @robel3786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      You think so Adrian? I am working on getting disciplined & getting things done. Maybe I ought to give it a try. 🤔

    • @katoria69
      @katoria69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Alot of health benefits to it! Helps promote restful sleep, increase metabolism and burn fat, etc.

    • @suchalad
      @suchalad 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Actually alot of people have said it really isnt.

    • @uh9178
      @uh9178 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@katoria69
      Then i shouldn't take cold showers haha, i have really fast metabolism and im really thin.

  • @Sugarskulls_forever
    @Sugarskulls_forever 6 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    I really try to stay neutral and not say anything, but you are GLOWING. Your confidence is justing shining right through your face. You look amazing!! Keep it up!

    • @kayligo
      @kayligo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Sugar Skulls he is distractingly cute

    • @calderonjd30
      @calderonjd30 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm distracted by his cuteness...im not understanding what he is saying

  • @SunTzuMaverick
    @SunTzuMaverick 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Great JOB! I thought I would add (thank you, Victor...)
    Self-Discipline is about leaning into resistance.
    Taking action in spite of how you feel.
    Living a life by design not by default.
    But most importantly, it’s action in accordance with your thoughts
    - not your feelings
    (Samuel Thomas Davies)
    1. 2:17 - Create an Identity
    - Instead of saying "I'm trying to quit X", say "I don't do X"
    2. 4:32 - Set a Reminder
    - This ensures that you don't forget
    3. 5:23 - Embrace the suck
    - Push through with things that you don't want to do in order to improve self-discipline
    4. 6:32 - Target the Fundamentals
    - Focus mainly on health( getting good sleep, eating healthy, and exercise)
    5. 7:38 - Practice Zazen meditation
    6. 8:43 - Build some habits
    - Use a habit tracker
    - Look for a positive trend, not on being perfect
    Great work I even enjoyed your book.

  • @intensidadenatural5967
    @intensidadenatural5967 6 ปีที่แล้ว +864

    4 main areas:
    Discipline
    Environment
    Habits
    Discipline - do it regardless how u feel
    Baseline to archieve goals
    /focus on identity
    /set reminders
    / embrace resistance
    /target the fundamentals first- food, rest, exercise
    /build new habits

    • @rorybray7356
      @rorybray7356 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      #5 meditation

    • @rorybray7356
      @rorybray7356 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Also, sleep* in particular, not just rest

    • @quinciorangel953
      @quinciorangel953 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This definition of discipline is very , very POWERFUL .

    • @Hero-up8hv
      @Hero-up8hv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lucas Meotti Dude you make it sound easy.I know what to do but don’t know how to do it.

    • @quanglethien1668
      @quanglethien1668 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for the summarization of the main aspects of this video

  • @SoulGlowHealing
    @SoulGlowHealing 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    This is really good stuff. I have ADHD and I choose not to take medication for it, I am looking for natural ways to increase my focus and discipline, I liked the part about identity the best. It really makes sense

  • @abnerbondoc7087
    @abnerbondoc7087 6 ปีที่แล้ว +397

    The entire video can be a life building video by itself. Amazing bro. Keep going

    • @BenyQuinonez
      @BenyQuinonez 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Have it on a daily "to play" playlist and in one year you'll be better than you were this year!

    • @armorsmith43
      @armorsmith43 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Abner Bondoc yea I feel like this one was a distillation of a lot of really important lessons that I’ve had to learn more scatteredly over the past 3 years.

    • @Alexhomierjj
      @Alexhomierjj 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Life changing really.

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @jasnepomuceno
    @jasnepomuceno ปีที่แล้ว +113

    Embrace discomfort. Lean into resistance. Every "I don't feel like it" moment is an opportunity to develop self-discipline.

  • @marverickmercer1968
    @marverickmercer1968 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I have a personal favorite quote from Eric Thomas that goes something like this.
    Self-discipline is "to be able, at any moment,to sacrifice what you are for what you will become".

  • @novemberninth4392
    @novemberninth4392 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Many students (including me) in my country love to create visual reminders when we're studying for university entrance exams. We create scrapbooks, moodboards, write journals, PInterest boards, print our dream university's logos and pictures and put it on the wall in front of our desks, and set the pictures of our dream universities as our wallpaper. I myself set my target university as my laptop wallpaper. Every day, when I open my laptop, I see my reminder and I instill it into my mind, again and again. Now, I'm already in my dream university and it feels AMAZING. My wallpaper becomes a silent witness of all my hard work.

  • @janeemflores
    @janeemflores 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I just started reading Atomic Habits. It's the best book I've read this year especially when James talked about how you should improve 1% every day and embrace who you want to become.

  • @marion.saturn
    @marion.saturn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I think you mentioned balance but I still want to add: Have a hobby/activity that has NOTHING to do with your main goal. Doing something else between the work phases helps me a lot in being productive. My goal is becoming an accountant/working with law & taxation. I've found sewing to be a really good hobby for me. So, I learn and then take a break by sewing. I try not to think about my study during the break and it really works for me.

  • @khawajaahmad1525
    @khawajaahmad1525 6 ปีที่แล้ว +515

    How in the earth he knew that I needed this ?

  • @tonyyee7040
    @tonyyee7040 5 ปีที่แล้ว +187

    What I’ve discovered today, my own method ;
    1: Catch yourself being unconscious of your actions, be as conscious as possible with any action you take.
    2. Retrieve from your mind what you’d like to achieve and which are those actions that’ll help you get there and whether in your current conscious moment, the task at hand aligns.
    3. Realise and look back on all the times you’ve procrastinated because you’re tired etc and realise you’ve never actually once felt like doing it and always resorted to later and it ended up not being done.
    Basically my magic formula,
    “Wake up” from your current action
    Question if it aligns
    Know it doesn’t, change your action
    You don’t feel like it
    Realise, you’ll never feel like it

  • @MosesEmmet
    @MosesEmmet 6 ปีที่แล้ว +420

    I like the resistance/ lifting analogy. Embrace the suck... If I feel like I don’t want to do it.. then I know If I DO, I’ll be making progress🤓

    • @hansdampf4120
      @hansdampf4120 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😂 Doesn't sound bright, buddy

    • @rorybray7356
      @rorybray7356 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@hansdampf4120 what?

    • @MosesEmmet
      @MosesEmmet 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Steffen Kress you noticed a typo thanks for catching that!👍🏽

    • @BenyQuinonez
      @BenyQuinonez 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Truuuuuuuu

    • @rollupthefruit7798
      @rollupthefruit7798 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      YOU MUST DO SOMETHING THAT SUCKS EVERY SINGLE DAY..

  • @vanestn
    @vanestn 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I watch this video every time I've lost focus , this is too precious

  • @suraiyashiwnarain9757
    @suraiyashiwnarain9757 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2680

    But how do you get better at self discipline when you have things to do but you don't see the point in it? For example, a student in school may understand the importance but may also understand school is not entirely important in becoming "successful."

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  6 ปีที่แล้ว +2550

      Something that's always helped me:
      I worked at a grocery store in high school. Before my first day at work started, my mom told me, "It doesn't matter whether you want to work there forever or not. It doesn't matter if you're only there for the money. You go in and work as hard as you can in order to show that you're a good worker, to pay your dues, and to serve the people you're working for."
      Come to think of it, this actually goes right back to that whole identity thing. It didn't matter that I wasn't the biggest fan of bagging groceries; my mother taught me to be the kind of person who actually gives a damn and works hard no matter what I'm doing.
      I think viewing school the same way would be helpful.

    • @suraiyashiwnarain9757
      @suraiyashiwnarain9757 6 ปีที่แล้ว +417

      @@Thomasfrank Thank you, as a student who is in high school you have helped.

    • @spacewad8745
      @spacewad8745 6 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Suraiya Shiwnarain, your name sound very Elvish.

    • @jamesbautista38
      @jamesbautista38 6 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      You are just making an excuse not to go to school.

    • @gaminggen5807
      @gaminggen5807 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Suraiya Shiwnarain absolutely agreed.

  • @johnmwanza5548
    @johnmwanza5548 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    you are right, discipline is hard to obtain, all goes with facing your discomforts.

  • @rajatshukla2605
    @rajatshukla2605 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    So to summarize:
    1)Change identity
    2)become uncomfortable
    3)set Reminders
    4)take care of your body
    5)meditate
    6)build habits

  • @TheAdhdGardener
    @TheAdhdGardener 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The end goal is what keeps me motivated n disciplined. I know where I wanna be in a few years time so I keep that in my head at all times for when I have a give up moment I think back as to y I wanted it in the first place

  • @RangerRuby
    @RangerRuby 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The thing about self-discipline is it is so hard to get into the habit but once you're in it feels amazing.

    • @randomxshitz5217
      @randomxshitz5217 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      hopefully

    • @dislikebutton1712
      @dislikebutton1712 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@randomxshitz5217 you good bro?

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @Knowledge_Nuggies
    @Knowledge_Nuggies 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    My summary (+some own thoughts):
    ->In short: Self-Discipline (SD) is about leaning into resistance. Taking action in spite of how you feel. Living a life by design, not by default. But most importantly, it's acting in accordance with your thoughts - not your feelings. -> SD is the ability to make the conscious decision to do something regardless of whether you feel motivated.
    ->6 strategies for building SD:
    1. Forget about the goal, focus on the shift in identity (see James Clear, Atomic Habit)
    a) Example: Think of yourself as an athlete ->you're more motivated to hit the gym, eat healthy etc.
    b) Enemy: Imposter Syndrome might make you feel insecure whether you could fulfill a particular role -> overcome it!
    c) Explanation: Cialdini's consistency principle: ppl want to act according to their previous decisions / principles etc.
    2. Frequently remind yourself of why you're being disciplined at all (see Sinek, Start With Why)
    a) Write down your long-term goals and store them visibly in your everyday life (on the wall, display background picture, on your desk, in your wallet etc.)
    b) Example: Jim Carrey's $10M cheque that he gave to himself at the beginning of his career and carried around for motivation
    3. Embrace the resistance/discomfort in every situation (see Taleb, Antifragile)
    a) It's like a rep in the gym -> with each rep your will gets stronger
    b) The increase in willpower will be beneficial towards ANY future tasks
    c) Look for ways in everyday life to embrace discomfort, e. g. take cold showers, stairs instead of elevator, hit the gym etc.
    4. Target the fundamentals first
    a) Fundamental needs: food, rest, exercise etc. (see Maslow's pyramid)
    b) Why? Brain-part that handles executive functioning ("internal manager", System II (see Kahneman), locus of willpower) requires lots of energy and rest
    5. Regular zen meditation
    a) Zen meditation has many benefits: relieves einstellung effect (more creativity), better concentration, improves emotion regulation & self-discipline
    b) Apps for guided meditation: Headspace, Calm, YT Videos
    c) Thomas recommends Zazen (sit & concentrate on your breath, eyes closed, notice and let go of distracting thoughts); "It's the self-development technique I hate doing the most, but the benefits are undeniable"
    6. Build new habits
    a) The initial stages of building new habits require self-discipline as it's not automatic yet
    b) The self-discipline is improving in the process of habit development for reasons similar to 3 ("mental training")
    c) When a habit gets automatic it requires much less self-discipline in the future
    d) For every habit you build: start small, track your progress, maybe use an app like habitica/strides/habitbull, celebrate your wins and focus not too much on purity/streaks. Instead make sure your trend is going in a overall positive direction.

    • @stray2726
      @stray2726 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @patricialedesma2561
    @patricialedesma2561 6 ปีที่แล้ว +258

    Just when I was binge watching Netflix. Best timing.

    • @endezeichengrimm
      @endezeichengrimm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This showed up on Netflix?

    • @summydots
      @summydots 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Quality is that good, eh?

    • @CompostWatcher
      @CompostWatcher 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I like that you knew better and acted upon it.

  • @jamiethomas5012
    @jamiethomas5012 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m taking the first steps. I’ve been in celebration/vacation mindset since my last big accomplishment nearly 2 years ago. Time to shape back up, in every form. Thanks for the tips!

  • @janeikawebb7324
    @janeikawebb7324 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    When I was in school I thought I wasn't giving as much effort as I could and I started calling myself a Nerd and changed my habits to suit

  • @garra12
    @garra12 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks for the video!

  • @alexamatos3709
    @alexamatos3709 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is probably the best advice I’ve received within this genre. Thank you for your efforts.

  • @DonGivani
    @DonGivani 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Would to add environment. James Clear in Atomic Habits noted that you have to prime your environment, your work spaces. Use desk for work, use couch to relax, use bed to sleep, use hobby room for hobby etc....
    Als technologic, use mobile for WhatsApp, use desktop computer for business, use iPad for entertainment etc ....
    James Clear noted also that self discipline/ self control are short term fixes for habit change.
    Keep up the good work !!!

  • @sacredporcupine
    @sacredporcupine 6 ปีที่แล้ว +635

    Why does it feel like he caught me procrastinating and uploaded a video to stop me from doing so

    • @yolagcolotela7881
      @yolagcolotela7881 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same here

    • @rigira
      @rigira 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He got your back

    • @1636276
      @1636276 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Because you lazy. Like everyone else.

    • @1636276
      @1636276 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And he needs views and likes.

    • @sizzleserveyum
      @sizzleserveyum 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂

  • @saltoftheegg
    @saltoftheegg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love how this guy gives advice on self-improvement without making anyone feel guilty about the behaviours they want to change. A lot of channels like this use adversarial, “tough love” techniques that just aren’t very motivating to me, this guy seems very nice and encouraging.

    • @saltoftheegg
      @saltoftheegg 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Omg he’s quoting actual psychologists, I think I’m in love.

  • @mrssmurf55
    @mrssmurf55 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Ok now I just think Thomas is a mind reader he always puts out the right videos at the right time I swear he sees us all sitting on the couch instead of doing our assignments 😄

  • @melissalowe9468
    @melissalowe9468 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you so much for all of the valuable information you provide. I was introduced to you through an online college class that had your note taking video available.

  • @Lysana7
    @Lysana7 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    really great video and tips... I want to add something though... Gretchen Rubin´s four personality types (the upholder, questioner, rebel, and obliger) explained a lot for me... Everytime I tried to actually write down a goal or use a habit tracker I failed after a week or two... then I hated myself for being not disciplined enough and not keeping promises to myself... but in fact, every time, I tell myself I really really want to do something, and become obsessed with it, but don´t tell anybody and don´t write it down, for some reason it works (most of the time).... so even if (according to Rubin), the rebel model is the smallest group of the four personality types, I figured out that I don´t like being told what to do by anyone, not even myself...then it becomes a chore, and I don´t like it and rebel against it... but when I´m getting obsessed about it and thinking about it constantly (and also using your tips like making it non-negotiable, a part of my identity, stop thinking, just doing), I´m doing much much better :) Hope this might help someone...and maybe you could even do a video about it?! :) anyways, great job! :)

  • @e.hhampsen4508
    @e.hhampsen4508 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You have changed my life. I'm thirteen going on fourteen and i got into a really bad place and almost killed myself recently. I went through therapy that encouraged me to reevaluate my life and myself and how i let others affect me. The boom seven habits of effective teens taught me about paradigm shifts. And while before i looked to your channel for study tips, i now see a huge opportunity and a role model like no other. I am learning to listen, and to use stratedy to interact with others, one of my biggest weaknesses. I could go on, but honestly, thank you.

    • @bw4961
      @bw4961 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is the first biggest step to greatness and you’ve achieved it, I’m happy for you, you should be proud

    • @bw4961
      @bw4961 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Acknowledge and take accountability

  • @IsaacBlencowe
    @IsaacBlencowe 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Excellent video as always Tom. Another great self-discipline tactic is making your bed every morning. I started this about a year ago after hearing an incredible speech on the power of making your bed. I now do it every morning without fail and find that it helps me feel more disciplined and starts me off in a better state of mind. It also feels like a small accomplishment every day :)

  • @陶淑娟
    @陶淑娟 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The concept of Hidden Time Wealth blew my mind. It’s like finding a cheat code for productivity and defeating procrastination.

  • @MAt-zk1qi
    @MAt-zk1qi 6 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    The notif for this vid came as if it’s watching me,, truly needed, especially that I haven’t been able to leave my phone and make myself work over the last week.. thank you for the video Thomas! I always look up to your videos!

  • @WINTHSERIES
    @WINTHSERIES 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    'Dont focus on perfect streaks, focus on the overall trends going upward' i needed to hear that

  • @JeF_91
    @JeF_91 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Man, this video came to me in a perfect time. I will graduate this year in computer science, and I had practice meditation some times, mostly in the past, but now the thing I need most is self discipline to work towards my bigger objectives in life, and your lessons really made me want to achieve this self discipline, thank you.

  • @Dbjjr26
    @Dbjjr26 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That smoking reference and how the two levels of severity in boundaries are actually an indicator of how dedicated we actually are to change was great. Being consciously curious as to why we operate the way we do is an amazing tool to stay present, rather than robotically pushing through the day reaching into the future or the past to sustain an emotional fulfillment we haven't quite ascended to yet.

  • @Chronor007
    @Chronor007 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hey Thomas and everyone else: This might be a bit late for you but i found a great Tip to keep Focus on Meditation and not get distracted as easily is to establish a very simple Mantra: Just repeat the Word ONE in your Head. It makes it so whenever your monkey brain sends your thoughts flying, you immediately refocus again because you have to formulate the word one in your head. this is of course possible with any word, but i find a visual 1 that i "say" with my inner voice aswell to be quite difficult to maintain so i have to focus. Hope it helps anyone!

  • @D0land0_94
    @D0land0_94 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am struggling to complete my masters thesis. I cannot stress enough how little I care about this project and how unmotivated I am to write it. But I am not someone who gives up, and I am very frustrated watching potential job opportunities pass me by.
    I am a fan of Jordan Peterson and he has helped me try to get my life together little by little. But I have never heard him speak about self discipline. This video helps.
    Thank you

  • @danielcrisdagandara792
    @danielcrisdagandara792 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    THIS IS THE MOST USEFUL THING I'VE LEARNED IN THE PAST 2 YEARS! THANK YOU!

  • @paraSocialParadox
    @paraSocialParadox 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    “Living by design and not by default” YES that’s what I needed !!

  • @ShalomSimplified
    @ShalomSimplified 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    There's definitely good ideas here, particularly the first, third, and fourth. In combination with another video I recently watched which equated procrastination with resistance, I especially appreciate number 3.
    I would like to share a word of caution concerning meditation. There are ways to improve focus and self-discipline that do not require going into full-blown meditation, which has harmful effects as well as beneficial.
    For example, I read a book written by a man who was formerly in the New Age, but left it. He meditated everyday. During the time that he was doing so, he was convinced his car radio was broken because he could never hear any base. He'd had it "fixed" multiple times, to no avail. When he decided to stop meditating and tossed out all his related paraphernalia, he suddenly was able to hear the base in his car radio. I think it was the very next day. Don't ask me to explain the biological processes that caused this phenomenon; the author himself didn't know. But that was his experience.
    There were other issues as well, but I'm not going to get into all that. The point is, just because something has benefits, doesn't mean it's all good. It's like certain foods. There may be good nutrients in it and you might decide it's good to eat, but there might also be something harmful in the food, and you might reap some unpleasant consequences in the future for eating it. So, be sure to research things like that very carefully before you just dive headlong into it just because your favourite TH-camr does it....

  • @27PSB72
    @27PSB72 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    There are no words that can tell how grateful I am that you made this video. Thanks a BIG lot.

  • @ederah7983
    @ederah7983 6 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    I actually need this. My exam is next week and I am just chilling.

  • @whyugay4359
    @whyugay4359 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you very much Thomas Frank this has helped me a lot as a middle schooler who is a little behind on work.

  • @tonatiuhnino3711
    @tonatiuhnino3711 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    0:35 - 0:39. So well put. Thanks.

  • @oneilanelson9231
    @oneilanelson9231 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Number 3 is the one I love the most in theory and hate the most in action.

  • @nightshades16
    @nightshades16 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    There is one quote that I really like and tell myself each time my brain goes "I don't feel like it":
    "You can either endure the pain of self-discipline or suffer the pain of regret"
    I think that is a very strong phrase for anyone who knows how it feels like to be in that phase of regret and beating oneself up.

  • @sophialouiza
    @sophialouiza 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your videos are not only to watch for entertainment or relaxation. Your videos help people (including me) to become better persons. Happier persons. Thank you!

  • @vaibhavmishra1884
    @vaibhavmishra1884 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Abraham Lincoln : " Self discipline is difference between what you want now and what you want most."☺️

  • @ruth-annwilliams7934
    @ruth-annwilliams7934 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    How could people even think of disliking great content like this

  • @fernandogomezdelatorre3296
    @fernandogomezdelatorre3296 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Plan weekly instead of daily and you'll see how you accomplish more! Great video!

    • @ywoak3288
      @ywoak3288 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fernando Gomez de la Torre why

    • @fernandogomezdelatorre3296
      @fernandogomezdelatorre3296 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You get a wider view of all the things you have to do and therefore plan better!

  • @SightlessSailor
    @SightlessSailor 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    A thought was presented to me by this girl I used to chat with briefly here and there. She said "when I think about who I am, instead of thinking about what I do I like to think of myself alone, secluded in a room looking at myself in a 3rd person, away from all immediate influence and I think what about me impresses me" and it was to talk about how she focuses more on her character than her accomplishments. She's a very accomplished person herself so I've dwelled on that for the past year and I've unfortunately been inconsistent with how well I apply it I also agree that I've felt my very best in life in the times I focused on my character and "identity" over focusing on my goals. I have an issue where I have 2 long term goals that are very conflicting and it runs me in circles quite a bit. Trying to commit to both at once is very difficult, but focusing on my identity has brought me closer to both goals than focusing on the goals themselves ever did. I still at this very moment have trouble consistent applying that practice, but when things are going well mentally and I'm able to actually focus it truly works wonders

  • @TheLifeFormulaa
    @TheLifeFormulaa 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great stuff. Having something you want to work towards helps you with self discipline. Loved how you mentioned James Clear's new book. Heard good things about it and I am looking forward to reading it

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @adibirta
    @adibirta 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I do something similar which society calls as 'meditation' but in my brain this thing is something more personal, that didn't need a tag. I prefer also to speak to my self, and honestly, in this sessions taked just for break time from society, I took from my self the best advices that I received in my life.

  • @fernandobrito5316
    @fernandobrito5316 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Your content is amazing! I've already read your book. I just wish that someday it get translated to portuguese, I think your books would make a huge difference in my class mate's lives.
    A big thanks from Brazil

  • @松久保大地
    @松久保大地 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hidden Time Wealth is so unique. I can’t believe I hadn’t heard about it sooner. It’s amazing how life-changing this can be for anyone battling procrastination.

  • @Krissu146
    @Krissu146 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Atomic habits is one of the greatest books honestly!

  • @juliasmigielska192
    @juliasmigielska192 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for the video! Now I think about myself as a best, most exemplary veterinary student and not just one who's trying to be like that

  • @Rucola438
    @Rucola438 6 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    A flip side for the identity method! So, while I think the identity method is such a empowering mindset change, I've recently read a Mark Manson (The art of not giving a f#ck author) article which said the exact opposite: to not get your identity involved in the actions you want to do because it could get you emotionally attached in an unhealthy way. The article is called "Stop trying to change yourself" (not as bad as it sounds). I'd say give that a read as well and then decide which mindset empowers you more. For me it's getting my identity involved. But I thought I'd share this regardless. Thomas, your personal development videos are my favourite, you make them so complete and resourceful. Also, I've got my Brilliant membership. Still debating on the cold showers...

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  6 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      I'll give that a read when I can!
      My initial thought - perhaps there's a time at which to apply both philosophies. I know that it can be dangerous to tie your identity to actions in certain ways, because you're pegging your confidence and self-worth to their outcomes. Perhaps it's the outcomes of the actions that are dangerous to rely upon.
      But embodying the identity that encourages me to actually put in the work - the right input-based goals, perhaps - seems healthy to me.

    • @mangomonstret
      @mangomonstret 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'll agree - as someone who for many years based their entire identity upon being a brainiac. However, I think the perspective Thomas mentions would be better fitting for ADDING something to your identity, ex. I have been working hard on the identity "factor" of being someone who goes to the gym to lead a healthier life. I don't se myself as someone who exercises 24/7 like I used to playing soccer 6 days a week, because that is not sustainable in my adult student life and would only lead to me feeling disappointed in myself for not maintaining the crazy physique I had in my teens. Right now I am just aiming to get more energy in my daily life, and thus I add the "I exercise for health"-identity factor. Makes sense?

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @Alexhomierjj
    @Alexhomierjj 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Self discipline is really a way of knowing that I can make a switch if I need and want or stay at the same spot. but I will only make it if necessary. This start with a really good judgment of right and wrong

  • @abidemiadeshina7867
    @abidemiadeshina7867 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    1. Focus on your identity
    2. Set Reminders
    3. Embrace discomfort
    4. Health is wealth - sleep + nutrition
    5. Practice Zazen
    6. Create new habits

    • @iceyko509
      @iceyko509 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yew4

    • @HarmzConscious
      @HarmzConscious 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need you to understand self discipline is the main thing. It's the ultimate demon, it's the hardest thing to conquer because once done you can conquer ANYTHING. Everything comes down to self discipline, changing your body, making money, drug addictions. You're capable of so much so don't let those voices in your head keep you back. You deserve everything you want it just all comes down to discipline don't give up. Anyway I just made a video on all this and went in deep I would appreciate if you checked it out, thanks.🙏

  • @enve162
    @enve162 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I had this video for 2 months on my browser tab, I just watched it today.

  • @YorukaValorant
    @YorukaValorant 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Perfect Timing :) I was looking for a great video like this.
    A longer version to your 1 Strategy to be more Disciplined Video

  • @짱규-b4w
    @짱규-b4w 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    wow. ive been struggling with depression and i feel like a lot of my depressed feelings have decreased with my medication. however, the motivation doesn’t come with it, and i feel like it doesn’t even last. i really need to discipline myself and it’s definitely a challenge.

  • @ataraxia9409
    @ataraxia9409 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "Motivation is your overall desire to do something whereas discipline is your ability to do it regardless of how you feel."
    Great words. ♥️

  • @eisern_seydlitz
    @eisern_seydlitz 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    discipline is a word highly underrated. It is the only way to live life with worthwhile skill.

    • @MasteryOrder
      @MasteryOrder 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree. Discipline is the way through which ideas come to life, skills get improved and difficult situations are surpassed. All the best to you!

  • @PracticalInspiration
    @PracticalInspiration 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was a great video. I personally think the two key fundamentals that everything falls under for discipline is mindset and habits. Get those right, the rest will fall into place.
    Why hate meditation??

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Honestly, it's because it's very hard for me. I'm an extremely active person, so I have a lot of grit when it comes to actually working or pushing myself athletically. Sitting on the floor and doing nothing? Now that's a challenge...

    • @PracticalInspiration
      @PracticalInspiration 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Thomasfrank Thanks for clarifying, it is an act that requires a lot of discipline. If your mind wanders from your breathing, have you considered chanting (e.g. saying Om)? The reason is it's easier to stay focused on a chant than it is on breathing. You can work your way up to different states of focus

    • @NusratJahan-fl7wh
      @NusratJahan-fl7wh 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I personally think the two key fundamentals that everything falls under for discipline is mindset inhabit get those right the rest will fall into place

  • @Streetreaper89
    @Streetreaper89 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you for the videos you make!
    I have begun a new life with better discipline and sleep habits for energy.

  • @seangallagher4498
    @seangallagher4498 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I'd highly recommend 'extreme Ownership' by Jocko Willink.

    • @minddivesounds5730
      @minddivesounds5730 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      What was your key learning of the book, the guy seems to be everywhere right now!

  • @zoe.h.nelson04
    @zoe.h.nelson04 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    On that first tip: I've always thought this was one of the biggest secrets to success but I've never been able to articulate it! When I commit to being something, such as a studious academic, small business owner or avid meditator, and start saying that I'm that to other people, my actions naturally start to align with these roles.

  • @beatumstudy4212
    @beatumstudy4212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Don’t be motivated, be disciplined.
    Change your mindset to be consistent.
    Create reminders.
    Embrace disconfort.
    Something I might add: Film yourself doing it (like a study with me thing) and post it, it really motivates you and you Don’t even have to show your face. Really, try it.

  • @Lotrick
    @Lotrick 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Will watch later

  • @1967andwaiting
    @1967andwaiting 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    At the end of the video, would it be possible for you to summarize the concepts covered in the video? The tips you gave, as well as the books and apps that you mention. I feel like in each video there's a lot of good content but it's difficult to keep up with. For example, the mobile apps you mentioned I had to go back to see what they were because I forgot lol :). Do you happen to have a reading list as well?

  • @tthbbh6011
    @tthbbh6011 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    the hardest and most underrated aspect of self discipline is embracing the disscomfort

  • @amandamate9117
    @amandamate9117 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    2x microdosing LSD a week
    + 4x mindfulness meditation + visualisation (yourself in a position who sees his problems as his own to be more a discilpined "workaholic") a week
    + 4x sport a week
    + always optimising diet
    + a good diary (tracking achievements/habits) and good planning

  • @studycoffee5370
    @studycoffee5370 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank u so much for uplifting my esteem and potential.....hope I could work upon the better part of myself...by being more self- disciplined after seeing this video...😇😇🧡

  • @AvacadoChan
    @AvacadoChan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    6:24 love that homestuck reference

    • @Trashbin513
      @Trashbin513 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      i was looking for a comment that said this

  • @cycy.christian
    @cycy.christian 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Finally, someone who defines, speaks and gives tips about discipline --
    and not just saying "YOU HAVE TO HAVE DISCIPLINE " 🙄

  • @PinkDisney94
    @PinkDisney94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I struggle with motivation and discipline on a daily basis...even recently quit my job and have been feeling so lost for the past year. How can you overcome these feelings when you also have major depression??

    • @harleyquinn7934
      @harleyquinn7934 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Be strong

    • @harleyquinn7934
      @harleyquinn7934 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Surround yourself with positivity, learn how to b positive it will change your life

  • @BVOMASTERCHONG
    @BVOMASTERCHONG 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have developed self discipline through out my long journey in Martial arts 😁

  • @paulcimijotti
    @paulcimijotti 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Jesus Christ loves you and He died for you ❤️

    • @ShewayTefri
      @ShewayTefri หลายเดือนก่อน

      Amen 🙏 stay blessed

  • @sdragnut
    @sdragnut ปีที่แล้ว

    Dont "want to be", "be" genius!! Thank You!!

  • @kimalejandrino2968
    @kimalejandrino2968 6 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Just when i was about to slack off again 😂 Perfect timing.

    • @mysterym2269
      @mysterym2269 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hahaha profile picture fits exactly with the comment

  • @daviddelarosajr-bi3px
    @daviddelarosajr-bi3px ปีที่แล้ว

    Meditation I'm a huge fan of . When changing your mind and outlook on challenges meditation really helps me to stay calm and focused through the discomfort of building mental toughness and self discipline

  • @aidancordes1047
    @aidancordes1047 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Ur a great youtuber. Keep up the work

  • @Jennielync
    @Jennielync 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Embrace the suck is my most favorite! I started crossfit, I was the slowest, Im not the strongest.. I decided to wake up and commit myself in doing it, now i can lift heavy, do unbroken reps and keep up with everyone who was there for years. My next goal is to stop eating out and be mindful of what im eating.

  • @arielvagus1618
    @arielvagus1618 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    If you know your WHY or have a big enough reason, then it gets very easier to be more disciplined.
    Your WHY must be arousing enough for you to take actions and not procrastinate.

    • @chiaramarker
      @chiaramarker 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      but how do you find such a why? I really want such a why.

    • @dragon_542
      @dragon_542 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sadly most people don't even know their why, some people think they do but it ends up being something that was influenced into them by looking at others or probably by their education system, well of course there are exceptions as well , like people who have had a strong why since forever to which they have stuck on and never wavered or been distracted by the seduction of others "why",
      They should really add this as a subject to school, maybe something called "goals" or something where they let students rediscover themselves and actually know what they want (might not be a perfect system but anyways better then nothing, and also better then realising it later on when life actually forces u to choose)