I met a cute guy who lives in US, while i live in Vietnam. We talked on Viber and Skype for more than a week, and we seemed very attracted to each other. However i was still not sure if he wanted to grow our relationship further, and i should invest more into it. Therefore, i asked for his opinion about relationship in general. It turns out he didn't think long-distance relationships could work out, at least for him. We decided to be mere friend. Anyway, the feeling of finding someone you have a really close connection to, then seeing it fade away in front of your eyes is not easy... But it doesn't matter anymore. When a door is closed, another one will open. As long as we keep moving on and knocking on other doors we find...
Thank you for sharing Tiny your story and your opinion. I recently matched with someone while he was on a business trip. So I live in Europe and he lives in Canada. Essentially distant is not really a big thing for me as long as the another part is also willing to put in the work. But I think, a lot of men would prefer to date a local. Because not everyone can do a long distance relationship. I know it has been 4 years since you posted, I am wondering how are you doing now and whether you've met someone worth to go for. Wish you all the love and peace
I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years now and we are in a long distance relationship. I'll be honest it does not get easier, but it is so worth it. There are so many people that doubt you, well at least for me, but you just have to ignore it. Love is so strong and powerful. We started making videos to make the distance not feel so far, and it is just amazing to look back on 💕
After finding this video I decided to gather the courage and implement that “talk” with the guy I’ve been speaking with long distance for the past few months. I used Matthews words, word for word (starting at 5:41)and my guy told be that he feels the same way. I was very hesitant to bring this up to him without seeming too pushy as well as scaring him off but I can say this is the best possible way to clarify where you stand with someone :) Thank you for the elegant words!
Kalyssamr I watched a lot of Matt’s videos to talk to my guy about a long distance relationship. We’ve been over a year strong now. Still working out who moves where.
That guy seems like he's already making excuses... "he's going to be busy with friends... Keep in touch...." I think she should ask more questions. I think she should wait until he comes back, if he doesn't take initiative. He doesn't seem like he wants a long-distance thing. She should stay in touch & continue to grow the friendship, but continue to date others. Just seems like it's not a great idea to move into that territory when she is just getting to know him. I think Long Distance relationships can only work if they've got a good foundation.
WOW! Matt is so gentle. Since she called to see if he arrived okay, she should let it go until he calls her, since they are only 3 dates deep and he moved away.
With my ex we were long distance for 8 months and in the beginning he was super invested and supportive and then it turned into me always having to be the one to call. He would never respond to texts and I wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time. If I got upset, I was always told I wasn’t supportive of him and is work schedule and that I was too needy and just needed to calm down. Towards the end he took a big step back and waited for the relationship to fail. He told me he didn’t love me anymore and broke up with me two weeks ago. After 8 months of being emotionally neglected I feel crushed but also I’m finally starting to see that he never was gonna meet my needs. Long didn’t can work, but only if the other person wants to put in the effort
Had legit proof my bf was cheating and planning to clean my savings through the help of Matty, he helped me no matter the location the device was, contact Matty via mattyw193@gmail com or text +12402843057 on WhatsApp or sms for SUCH SERVICES✅✅✅✅
I wish I could have watched this video earlier, before I decided to start a rlst with my ex. What Matthew says here exactly describes my story. Me and my ex were both international students studying in the UK, while I'm from China and he's from the US. We had been pure classmates for almost a year before the night we confessed. Our connection suddenly got really tight in the last month of my stay in the UK before I headed back to China as originally being planned. But he confessed, and we had such a short but wonderful time spent together that I decided to go back to the UK and tried to find a job there so I could stay with him. I can say it now that he wasn't prepared to commit entirely and have a long-term plan for us. I felt this back in times we were together, but I was blinded and thought we could find a way out when problems appeared, all we had to do was to cherish the present. In the end, I got a really great offer from China (ironically, I was rejected by every company I interviewed with during my short stay in China, except for this one which I was interviewed just the day before I flew to the UK), so I left the UK before the pandemic and the lockdown. Too many things happened since then, especially in the middle of a pandemic... we had many fights and eventually he told me he thought we were no longer compatible or in sync. He said he couldn't commit as such as I had done for him, and it was not fair to be in a rlst with me given the way he felt. I was devastated when he said we are not the same type of people, because at the very beginning he said that we were alike and that he had never felt such a strong connection with any girl... how hilarious. In a hindsight, I should've rejected being a couple even though that would hurt in the short term, but at least we could've still been friends rather than strangers who are afraid of reaching out... there were signs, I should've been more sober when he didn't have any plan for us.
matt can you make a video about long distant relationships and how to keep the spark alive while you're not seeing your partner for a long time , i would really appreciate this, i've been in a long distant relationship for almost a year now and it's gonna extend for longer . im looking forward to your video , i really need your advice thank you ! your videos are always helpful and entertaining , keep doing your thing you're a wonderful human being
Savannah Dean maka elabbar I've been there. And now, with the new technology, it does make it easier. Maybe try gamifying things. So, buy a travel set of battleship and play via skype/facetime/etc. Or play picture text bingo/scavenger hunt, the winner gets a surprise from the loser. You can even spice it up by trying to find sexually suggestive picture text to send. I have a friend who her and her husband went to the same national chain and got the exact same meal so they felt like they were having dinner together. Another friend got a box of a dozan beers delivered to his office from his girlfriend (Man's version of Red Roses :P) Hope this is helpful. Have fun playing!
OMG, talk about the drama when someone leaves. I met a guy 6 weeks prior to him moving. I was really attracted to him, but I did not want to put myself in that situation. He asked me out, so I went out with him. We really hit it off. Then he invited me over to his place and he made me dinner. I was trying to distance myself from him, but it was hard. He would call me and ask what I was doing. One day when he called I was getting ready to go to the gym and he's like ok, we can go together. We lived in the same apartment complex so we went to the gym together and ran outside on the trail. Then I reciprocated and invited him over to my place and made him dinner. Another day, he called and asked what I was doing and I told him that I was getting ready for work and he said, ok, I'll be over. I'm thinking seriously? You want to come over and watch me put on makeup and put my hair in a french braid? So that's what he did. One thing that resonated with me was when I was putting on my make up, he told me that I was beautiful just the way I am and that I didn't need make up. I was so fascinated by that comment. Then we started spending all of our free time together day and night. He had me over when they were packing up his belongings to move. He wanted me to take him to the airport. This was back in the day when you could get past security without a boarding pass. We were sitting on the floor in the airport, holding hands. He said, you know this will probably be the last time we see each other. Tears were just coming out of my eyes. We kissed one last time and off he went. **sigh**. It was almost like he died. But, I bounced back and was back out on the dating scene again.
I'm 21 years old and he is the same as me. He is from another country. I met him on an university camp for two weeks this august. We got really closer two days before I left to my country. But really really closer... We've been talking everyday since there but just texting. At first I saw investing. He was so nice and kind with me. And funny and gentle but I was scare... We are both young and we are university students, travel a lot, have fun. I'm not that kind of young student and I knew that what I did it was going to ending up being real from my part, but I wasn't sure if it was for his. I wasn't sure if it was going to go somewhere. I've never had anything with a guy just because of this scare. I'm quite a suffering and innocent girl on that fiel. So unconfident. I started watching your advises Matthew and you were like a blew of fresh air for my mind. I've learnt a lot. I did the step today. I asked him if it was going to go somewhere. His answer was clever, honest and sweet but too much real... his life is gonna change so much next year that he finish the university so he told me if it can really work out. If 1% was the time we spend together, how it would be the following years without seeing each other? I just told him something simple: "I got it, he was right." I didn't want to ending up on bad vives... It's really tough. You never know whats really going trow his mind. This video made my day cause I felt like you were talking to me. And you know what? I'm calling even the same that the girl who asks on the video. I don't know if being 21 years old make a difference. Like we are normally more romantic and idealist in love field... But what I learnt from all of this is that you really have to keep the good moments in mind and forget the bad ones. And as well, this experience made me to know your fantastic videos that, honestly, help more that you can imagine.
Actions speak louder than words so why not see how he responds via texts,emails phone calls etc until she meets up in July. She already contacted him to see that he arrived safely so I would let him make the next move. Saying he will be really busy while he is away is a cop out because if you REALLY like someone, a 10 sec text is not time consuming! Matthew, I always agree with you but in this case I would not have the conversation with him after 3 dates. He has already used the red flag 4 letter word BUSY, and the signs or lack of signs will be pretty obvious with how he connects with her over this next few months. Until you are in an exclusive relationship with someone don't wait by the phone getting disappointed. Go out and keep dating or socializing until you are in an actual relationship. As Matthew says we can all glamorize something more than it really is sometimes.
What you said it's probably so true and objective. But not everybody is the same, not everybody can handle this situations easily. And it gets worst if you are in love with him. I think Matthew makes his job really well. You have to be really carful giving advises when there's a huge feeling and a honest person telling you that feeling. You don't wanna heart nobody. In the other way, you never know. You can never know what's exactly going on on people's mind. Doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. Life is never expected.
i followed his advice on getting a read on where he is with what we have now, then he said that he feels the same way about me and the feelings are mutual ❤️.
The question that appears in my head is.. couldn't she just wait and see if there's a two-sided interest to stay in contact anyway? If there's a reason for this guy to keep in touch with her over that time period, he won't hesitate to text her and stay connected. And if she really wants to talk to him, there's absolutely no reason why she shouldn't do it herself. I'm wondering why it isn't enough to talk to each other whenever somebody thinks of the other person. I think that there is no need to create an artificial bond by calling something a relationship if there's a pure affection between two individuals.
The Romeo and Juliet intelligent answer, in gist of that story, we are all one, and should be one. Keep Calm & Talk About It. Simply Infiltrating Thought.
Matthew thank you for the wonderful advice you've given here! I discussed the status of our relationship with my significant other and we agreed that the right choice for us is to give our long distance relationship a chance and be exclusive with each other until we meet. Proper communication really is key, thank you.
@@lotus_sub sorry for the very delayed response... yeah, we're together now for 2 years. we're still 1h apart from each other, but we make sure to see each other in each quarter of the year and keep constant communication.
I'm in almost the same situation right now. I'm leaving for 9 months from September and I need to have the conversation with the guy too because I don't know where we stand. I knew I had to do that but now Matthew confirmed I need to do it.
Dear Matthew, I would like to tell you that everything is easier than we are trying to make. You know when is the right time and you usually know how your dream person looks like and I am not talking about his appearance what I am talking about is that everything is nice and easy going when you know what you want and how and when . In this case you won't have any issues at all , you won't need anyone else to look for if your partner has got everything you deserved. When you have got experience and you ready for great relationship all you need is just do it . Not many people ready for it unfortunately,many of them don't know what great relationship really are, many are married have kids suffering, straggling, conditioned by the time when they realized finally what they really deserved . WHEN YOU READY YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT YOU FIND IT
This guy played her.he could be lying.he didnt call or text her .she initiated it. He probably was just looking for a fling or someone to kill time with. Feel bad she liked him that much. Pull out girl! See if he bliws up ur phone.guys that want chics cant get enuff of them.they make time!
Is it a bad thing to go by actions? I'm big on actions vs what they say. They can say the loveliest things that we may want to hear, but the actions are what really kill it. Also, like Matthew said are they investing as we may be. Idk it's a tough one.
fullpinklips01 I have the same question. Im big on actions rather than words. I met a guy I connected with as soon as we held hands. Never had I experience somethings so pure, powerful, electric, and right. We saw each other 2 more times after thay. On his last night in the city he agreed to meet up with me to just talk for a bit and then messaged me he was too tired and had to wake up early for his flight. His action led me to believe he didnt value me enough to see me one last time before he flew away. So I blocked him. Now I am thinking whether I made the right decision or just acted on impulse based on the feeling of rejection by him standing me up like that. What do you think?
Just found out your channel!!! This video was exactly what I needed to finally find the courage to talk to the guy I am dating about what could happen between us when he leaves next month!!! Great advice 😊😊😊✌🏻
This was me before I broke up w my ex... I guess we're not meant to be, cus if we are then we could still be fighting to make it work and growing together
I pretty much did everything you said in this video about two years ago in what I thought almost was a relationship. It was early days & I didn't want to appear eager so I asked him if he would like whatever we had to go further..he said 'he wouldn't mind'. I thought to myself ok good enough. Few months later he went on to break my heart cos all he wanted was sex & although I never gave him the pleasure of that, I still hate him and hate myself for whatever little that did happen. Men will say whatever they want to get any little amount of sex. Be careful ladies. Now I've learnt my lesson & I'm waiting for marriage because that way at least you know it's what you both want.
Long distance is really really hard.. I am also in long distance for more than 1 year now... arguing evey once a week because he is soo busy lately (which i dont know if it's true or just an excuse) but today ive ended it, and it is painful... but i can feel that he is not that into me anymore, eventhough he said that im wrong, but he kinda 'off' every weekend.. and we're not sure if we can meet this year.. anything could happen in one year, seeing his behavior lately, it is too risky for me to invest more time in this. But it is very very painful to let go. 😔
Hi Matthew, Ive been watching your vids for a while now but i haven't really posted any comments about them. Men can be so confusing at times. I got this guy i like, we have the same interested and we've been hitting it off as i feel. (Ive met him online) He got a calming voice to listen to and all that, but after a week he came to me saying he wasn't interested in relationship. I asked him why he felt like that, not to sound like "you need to be in a relationship" or anything but he said he diden't have enough to contribute as to his life has been a little bit messy. Which is ok i get it. but i cant get him out of my head, hes been really sweet, his voice is amazing to listen to and stuff like that. When guy say stuff like that i feel like i am not good enough and i have alot of selfesteem issues around this because i wasn't born to be alone. I value a second half very much and i always invest full heartedly. My question is, how can i get him to like me enough to want to be with me and not letting me go? Im so tired of failing and im tired of heartache.Thanks for reading this :)
Hi Tone Andersen, I'm not sure how things are going for you now, after all it has been 4 years and so so much changes in that amount of earthly time! From your reply, to me it just really sounded like you needed to find that beautiful love and acceptance for yourself so that you are truly ok with being alone and not needing another for validation which only leads to heartache and pain. I hope you have found your one true love, yourself my dear. Much love and light to you 🙏💓
I have a similar question to this girl..except my situation is very unique. Been talking as friend with this guy for 8 months who lives a few states away. We would text here and there, and Skype 1-2 times a month. We finally met a month ago for the first time, and actually really clicked in person and went hiking and on a date. We would have hangout more but I had work obligations the weekend he came to visit his brother (and me). We text more than we use to now every day, Skype once a week, a have spontaneous phone calls. He wasn't able to visit me sooner than March so I booked a flight to visit him in February, which is now 3 weeks away. He has made some really fun plans for us while I'm there, putting in that effort. He plans to visit me in March, and is planning two concert trips (late May and June). He already bought tickets for one of them. But he has indirectly said he's unsure about dating me because of the distance. However, we have never talked about the distance or anything yet. We didn't expect this, it's an odd situation, and both aren't sure what to do going forward. The last thing I want to do is pressure him but we obviously really like each other. Advice? I could do long distance but idk if he would. How do I ask him without being pressuring? Should I ask before the trip or bring it up face to face when I see him? Should I wait to let him bring it up? I don't wanna scare /chase him.
hey, i forgot to say your white coat looks good on you ;) it's refreshing to see you again after a very looooong week of memorizing stuffs at work.lol listening to you is the best part in my "me-time".
You'll know by his actions :) if he backs up what he says with actions, you'll know he cares. But even then he should be consisten, not just when he's trying to sleep with you.
Yes his words will be consistent and matches his actions, whatever he may have communicated to you throughout the connection over time. Consistency builds momentum to more trust, investment onto each other as a team, the attraction with depth and substance with creating a more solid loving foundation for the tone of the relationship from the start. Allow him to lead but also show interest and initiative in text, email or call video chat him too, so it's not just him doing the work. Real Men do not like playing mind games and lack of maturity. Transparency, playfulness, fun and ease in the connection builds deeper love, lightness in the heart and may lead to exclusivity and deeper commitment from him. Allow and be receptive of him to be the Man for you. Embrace your feminine softness and Grace.
Yes, Romeo and Juliet would have loved each other without the war between their families. Romeo fell in love with Juliet before he knew that she was a Capulet.
He found her attractive. He saw her and decided he wanted to bang her. The drama with their families turned her from a pretty girl to a forbidden prize to fight for.
Hi Matt, Thank you for posting this video, it helps me a lot in dealing with long distance relationship problem. But I have a question when you say "Do not do more than your share", how do we know the limit of our share ? Thank you !
@Susan McCord:. I agree. I think she should hold off calling and wait to see what he will do for now in terms of texting or emailing, see the content of communications, frequency, and general feeling in all, and last but not least, she will have to notice the feeling and vibes between them, not just the writing on the paper. Note: But he did say he will be "busy" with friends and family. That is an indication already right there of his intention, I feel. To me it may ring "I am free" - Things are so new, 3 informal dates and one moment of romance, ... I would not ask question right now. Later yes, when and if it becomes pertinent. There is always though the possibility that the question will be unnecessary if his actions speak clearly - either interested or not interested, and I feel it is safe to assume they are still on a friendly status for now, until further proof and development.
when things were still in the present I've met someone from a different country, we have not met at least once since I don't got the money for it and likewise with her. we are all sorts of compatible and good and we have everything the feelings , the love care and sexual attraction. but then one day she just decided for to tell me to go find someone else and I couldn't begin to say what I have in mind.. like why is she saying that and what is this all about I didn't know. we never really talked about how we would make it work for us and who's flying to who and moving there... since we weren't really exclusively going out.. but I have told her about how I want to fly there and when I can I will eventually because I wanted to see her.. I know she loved me but I believe in her loving me till now I know I have that soft spot in her heart that won't go away and I feel the same way. we both feel so passionate and so profound about each other. if I plan on flying to her as soon as I get enough money to do so, would it be worth it though?
Hey Matt I recently got played by someone who I thought I could trust and I knew him for a long time and I was prepared but I was mad too because and it’s so frustrating. Hello from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you and love you so much , you are my best friend, your advice not only can be use in relationship,but also very useful on life ,please keep doing the video :)
Darling even though we share the same world, sun, moon, stars, we are a starcrossed love! We shall share the same space as one, maybe tomorrow, next week?
Romeo & Juliet is not a romantic story is a critic to how stupid love is when you are that young and you actually do not understand LOVE! It is not about love it is a book about immaturity! :)
Had legit proof my bf was cheating and planning to clean my savings through the help of Matty, he helped me no matter the location the device was, contact Matty via mattyw193@gmail com or text +12402843057 on WhatsApp or sms for SUCH SERVICES✅✅✅✅
that dude knows the stuff. a girl that ive been with is now pushing fast for relationship, thats kind of scary... i mean... i dont want to hurt her if it feels like it is not going to work and i want to stop it... now shes about to take the day off friday to stay 3 days in a row with me at her home, and i really like her but i dont know how to say "i dont think we should stay 3 days in a row togheter like that yet but it doesnt mean i dont like you, its just lets go a bit slower" dam relationships are so complicated...
Had legit proof my bf was cheating and planning to clean my savings through the help of Matty, he helped me no matter the location the device was, contact Matty via mattyw193@gmail com or text +12402843057 on WhatsApp or sms for SUCH SERVICES✅✅✅✅
I asked him about this last week (we've been dating since February). He says he can't bear LDR but he has strong feelings for me, and he plans to see me again and we did plan to have another getaway. Should I take it further with him or just stop already since he can't give me the exclusivity?
I reconnected with my 1st fiancé from 27 years ago. We are single with kids and we still have feelings for each other. It's been 2 months and he still has not come out to see me. He's in FL and I am in AZ. Any advice?
matthewwww the one who saves my life can you plz plz plz do a video on how to deal with a guy that like controlling like I DONT want you to do skydiving because am scared of that for you or dont wear that and i dont know how to make him understand that he should respect what I want especially if their is no point in controlling plzzzz help hope my words made my point right thank you in advance mattheww :*
This guy doesn't understand the TEST of love is not when things are placed on your lap easy that's WEAK love, it grows in difficulty, that's the point: GROWTH! Wow he doesn't get it. Peace
This is great advice no matter what age you are. I have been on two " Dates" with a Filipino Celebrity Actor. We are around 50. He works in LA and Manila. I live in San Francisco. (I'm British) Here's the drama he lives with a girl in The Philippines, who;'s 27. He keeps telling me that he wants to end it with her. But so far he has nit done it. He's now heading back to Manila, and we plan to meet in the Fall. I'm not going to invest any more time in something that might not go anywhere. We are both VERY busy and travel allot form our work. How can I keep him interested if he is so far away? BTW I know that your advice is geared for 20'S AND 30'S. but there are PLENTY of 50+ who need help starting over as well. Thank-you.
Hi Matthew, I love your channel here! I have the same problem like Mary. I live in South America but for 5 years I lived in Sydney , Australia and I came back to my home country this year. Now , I met a guy on a date site and we are having a very good chemistry and I realized that we are on the same page, but he is an Aussie man who lives in Sydney. While I was there I never met someone like him and I would like to invest in him but unfortunately I can't go back to Australia now. What should I do to keep this long distance relationship and in future start a "real " relationship?
I met a cute guy who lives in US, while i live in Vietnam. We talked on Viber and Skype for more than a week, and we seemed very attracted to each other. However i was still not sure if he wanted to grow our relationship further, and i should invest more into it. Therefore, i asked for his opinion about relationship in general. It turns out he didn't think long-distance relationships could work out, at least for him. We decided to be mere friend.
Anyway, the feeling of finding someone you have a really close connection to, then seeing it fade away in front of your eyes is not easy... But it doesn't matter anymore. When a door is closed, another one will open. As long as we keep moving on and knocking on other doors we find...
your post helps me a lot right now. tnks
Thank you for sharing Tiny your story and your opinion. I recently matched with someone while he was on a business trip. So I live in Europe and he lives in Canada.
Essentially distant is not really a big thing for me as long as the another part is also willing to put in the work. But I think, a lot of men would prefer to date a local. Because not everyone can do a long distance relationship.
I know it has been 4 years since you posted, I am wondering how are you doing now and whether you've met someone worth to go for. Wish you all the love and peace
Matthew, can you make more videos about long distance relationships??? Thanks!!
If a guy wants to date you over long distance, he would not leave you wondering, trust me.
Watching this made me realize I don't want a long distance relationship with a guy I've been talking to. Thank you! Time to have the talk.
I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years now and we are in a long distance relationship. I'll be honest it does not get easier, but it is so worth it. There are so many people that doubt you, well at least for me, but you just have to ignore it. Love is so strong and powerful. We started making videos to make the distance not feel so far, and it is just amazing to look back on 💕
So happy for you life with shadow! Your story has confirmed me again love is worth it if you meet the right person.
After finding this video I decided to gather the courage and implement that “talk” with the guy I’ve been speaking with long distance for the past few months. I used Matthews words, word for word (starting at 5:41)and my guy told be that he feels the same way. I was very hesitant to bring this up to him without seeming too pushy as well as scaring him off but I can say this is the best possible way to clarify where you stand with someone :) Thank you for the elegant words!
Kalyssamr I watched a lot of Matt’s videos to talk to my guy about a long distance relationship. We’ve been over a year strong now. Still working out who moves where.
What happened Kalyssamr
Nice! I’ll try it as well!
That guy seems like he's already making excuses... "he's going to be busy with friends... Keep in touch...." I think she should ask more questions. I think she should wait until he comes back, if he doesn't take initiative. He doesn't seem like he wants a long-distance thing. She should stay in touch & continue to grow the friendship, but continue to date others. Just seems like it's not a great idea to move into that territory when she is just getting to know him. I think Long Distance relationships can only work if they've got a good foundation.
I thought the exact same thing!
WOW! Matt is so gentle. Since she called to see if he arrived okay, she should let it go until he calls her, since they are only 3 dates deep and he moved away.
Maria Mutitu I agree . Let him make the next move . I wouldn’t even be that invested after 3 dates .. too much pressure
I don't what that lady is even thinking, they barely know each other
With my ex we were long distance for 8 months and in the beginning he was super invested and supportive and then it turned into me always having to be the one to call. He would never respond to texts and I wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time. If I got upset, I was always told I wasn’t supportive of him and is work schedule and that I was too needy and just needed to calm down. Towards the end he took a big step back and waited for the relationship to fail. He told me he didn’t love me anymore and broke up with me two weeks ago. After 8 months of being emotionally neglected I feel crushed but also I’m finally starting to see that he never was gonna meet my needs. Long didn’t can work, but only if the other person wants to put in the effort
Had legit proof my bf was cheating and planning to clean my savings through the help of Matty, he helped me no matter the location the device was, contact Matty via mattyw193@gmail com or text +12402843057 on WhatsApp or sms for SUCH SERVICES✅✅✅✅
So sorry you were hurt
I wish I could have watched this video earlier, before I decided to start a rlst with my ex. What Matthew says here exactly describes my story. Me and my ex were both international students studying in the UK, while I'm from China and he's from the US. We had been pure classmates for almost a year before the night we confessed. Our connection suddenly got really tight in the last month of my stay in the UK before I headed back to China as originally being planned. But he confessed, and we had such a short but wonderful time spent together that I decided to go back to the UK and tried to find a job there so I could stay with him. I can say it now that he wasn't prepared to commit entirely and have a long-term plan for us. I felt this back in times we were together, but I was blinded and thought we could find a way out when problems appeared, all we had to do was to cherish the present. In the end, I got a really great offer from China (ironically, I was rejected by every company I interviewed with during my short stay in China, except for this one which I was interviewed just the day before I flew to the UK), so I left the UK before the pandemic and the lockdown. Too many things happened since then, especially in the middle of a pandemic... we had many fights and eventually he told me he thought we were no longer compatible or in sync. He said he couldn't commit as such as I had done for him, and it was not fair to be in a rlst with me given the way he felt. I was devastated when he said we are not the same type of people, because at the very beginning he said that we were alike and that he had never felt such a strong connection with any girl... how hilarious. In a hindsight, I should've rejected being a couple even though that would hurt in the short term, but at least we could've still been friends rather than strangers who are afraid of reaching out... there were signs, I should've been more sober when he didn't have any plan for us.
matt can you make a video about long distant relationships and how to keep the spark alive while you're not seeing your partner for a long time , i would really appreciate this, i've been in a long distant relationship for almost a year now and it's gonna extend for longer .
im looking forward to your video , i really need your advice
thank you ! your videos are always helpful and entertaining , keep doing your thing you're a wonderful human being
I am also in a long distance relationship and I could really use some advice as well :)
Savannah Dean maka elabbar I've been there. And now, with the new technology, it does make it easier. Maybe try gamifying things. So, buy a travel set of battleship and play via skype/facetime/etc. Or play picture text bingo/scavenger hunt, the winner gets a surprise from the loser. You can even spice it up by trying to find sexually suggestive picture text to send. I have a friend who her and her husband went to the same national chain and got the exact same meal so they felt like they were having dinner together. Another friend got a box of a dozan beers delivered to his office from his girlfriend (Man's version of Red Roses :P) Hope this is helpful. Have fun playing!
X
Nobody wants long distance relationship. But for the sake of love, distance is not a hindrance :)
OMG, talk about the drama when someone leaves. I met a guy 6 weeks prior to him moving. I was really attracted to him, but I did not want to put myself in that situation. He asked me out, so I went out with him. We really hit it off. Then he invited me over to his place and he made me dinner. I was trying to distance myself from him, but it was hard. He would call me and ask what I was doing. One day when he called I was getting ready to go to the gym and he's like ok, we can go together. We lived in the same apartment complex so we went to the gym together and ran outside on the trail. Then I reciprocated and invited him over to my place and made him dinner. Another day, he called and asked what I was doing and I told him that I was getting ready for work and he said, ok, I'll be over. I'm thinking seriously? You want to come over and watch me put on makeup and put my hair in a french braid? So that's what he did. One thing that resonated with me was when I was putting on my make up, he told me that I was beautiful just the way I am and that I didn't need make up. I was so fascinated by that comment. Then we started spending all of our free time together day and night. He had me over when they were packing up his belongings to move. He wanted me to take him to the airport. This was back in the day when you could get past security without a boarding pass. We were sitting on the floor in the airport, holding hands. He said, you know this will probably be the last time we see each other. Tears were just coming out of my eyes. We kissed one last time and off he went. **sigh**. It was almost like he died. But, I bounced back and was back out on the dating scene again.
Beautiful story!
Why didn’t you continue even LDR?
i wish I could hear the outcomes on these!
I'm 21 years old and he is the same as me. He is from another country. I met him on an university camp for two weeks this august. We got really closer two days before I left to my country. But really really closer... We've been talking everyday since there but just texting. At first I saw investing. He was so nice and kind with me. And funny and gentle but I was scare... We are both young and we are university students, travel a lot, have fun. I'm not that kind of young student and I knew that what I did it was going to ending up being real from my part, but I wasn't sure if it was for his. I wasn't sure if it was going to go somewhere. I've never had anything with a guy just because of this scare. I'm quite a suffering and innocent girl on that fiel. So unconfident. I started watching your advises Matthew and you were like a blew of fresh air for my mind. I've learnt a lot. I did the step today. I asked him if it was going to go somewhere. His answer was clever, honest and sweet but too much real... his life is gonna change so much next year that he finish the university so he told me if it can really work out. If 1% was the time we spend together, how it would be the following years without seeing each other? I just told him something simple: "I got it, he was right." I didn't want to ending up on bad vives... It's really tough. You never know whats really going trow his mind. This video made my day cause I felt like you were talking to me. And you know what? I'm calling even the same that the girl who asks on the video. I don't know if being 21 years old make a difference. Like we are normally more romantic and idealist in love field... But what I learnt from all of this is that you really have to keep the good moments in mind and forget the bad ones. And as well, this experience made me to know your fantastic videos that, honestly, help more that you can imagine.
one of his "friends" is a hometown sweetheart, which is why he told her to text him, said he's busy and isn't making an effort to keep in touch.
Actions speak louder than words so why not see how he responds via texts,emails phone calls etc until she meets up in July. She already contacted him to see that he arrived safely so I would let him make the next move. Saying he will be really busy while he is away is a cop out because if you REALLY like someone, a 10 sec text is not time consuming! Matthew, I always agree with you but in this case I would not have the conversation with him after 3 dates. He has already used the red flag 4 letter word BUSY, and the signs or lack of signs will be pretty obvious with how he connects with her over this next few months. Until you are in an exclusive relationship with someone don't wait by the phone getting disappointed. Go out and keep dating or socializing until you are in an actual relationship. As Matthew says we can all glamorize something more than it really is sometimes.
What you said it's probably so true and objective. But not everybody is the same, not everybody can handle this situations easily. And it gets worst if you are in love with him. I think Matthew makes his job really well. You have to be really carful giving advises when there's a huge feeling and a honest person telling you that feeling. You don't wanna heart nobody. In the other way, you never know. You can never know what's exactly going on on people's mind. Doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. Life is never expected.
@@mariaboubeta7621 so true
When he said “I know so many women will benefit from this” it hit right in my bones.
oh the irony.
Take the high road on this one, and say is this relationship going anywhere? We can be friends and live our lives as two people who are living apart.
i followed his advice on getting a read on where he is with what we have now, then he said that he feels the same way about me and the feelings are mutual ❤️.
The question that appears in my head is.. couldn't she just wait and see if there's a two-sided interest to stay in contact anyway? If there's a reason for this guy to keep in touch with her over that time period, he won't hesitate to text her and stay connected. And if she really wants to talk to him, there's absolutely no reason why she shouldn't do it herself. I'm wondering why it isn't enough to talk to each other whenever somebody thinks of the other person. I think that there is no need to create an artificial bond by calling something a relationship if there's a pure affection between two individuals.
I had the same question months ago then I decided to ask him " Do you love me?" Since then we started our LDR :)
The Romeo and Juliet intelligent answer, in gist of that story, we are all one, and should be one. Keep Calm & Talk About It. Simply Infiltrating Thought.
Matthew thank you for the wonderful advice you've given here! I discussed the status of our relationship with my significant other and we agreed that the right choice for us is to give our long distance relationship a chance and be exclusive with each other until we meet. Proper communication really is key, thank you.
How did it go?
@@lotus_sub sorry for the very delayed response... yeah, we're together now for 2 years. we're still 1h apart from each other, but we make sure to see each other in each quarter of the year and keep constant communication.
I'm in almost the same situation right now. I'm leaving for 9 months from September and I need to have the conversation with the guy too because I don't know where we stand. I knew I had to do that but now Matthew confirmed I need to do it.
Matt should do some follow ups with this cases
Dear Matthew, I would like to tell you that everything is easier than we are trying to make. You know when is the right time and you usually know how your dream person looks like and I am not talking about his appearance what I am talking about is that everything is nice and easy going when you know what you want and how and when . In this case you won't have any issues at all , you won't need anyone else to look for if your partner has got everything you deserved. When you have got experience and you ready for great relationship all you need is just do it . Not many people ready for it unfortunately,many of them don't know what great relationship really are, many are married have kids suffering, straggling, conditioned by the time when they realized finally what they really deserved . WHEN YOU READY YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT YOU FIND IT
I couldn't hold it together talking to this amazing man 😍😍😍
How come you're so wise. Brilliant insight on how drama because of the presence of of hurdles creates a false sense of romance. :)
I appreciated his honesty and responsibility in sharing this info. It was so enlightening. I'm in her shoes! Lol
Yes, he's not the only one!!!
Correct: Capulets and Montagues
Matthew thank you so much for these live talks about LDR. It's very helpful for us that are in LDR. Much appreciated.
This guy played her.he could be lying.he didnt call or text her .she initiated it. He probably was just looking for a fling or someone to kill time with. Feel bad she liked him that much. Pull out girl! See if he bliws up ur phone.guys that want chics cant get enuff of them.they make time!
This sounds like a very negative why to see it
Is it a bad thing to go by actions? I'm big on actions vs what they say. They can say the loveliest things that we may want to hear, but the actions are what really kill it. Also, like Matthew said are they investing as we may be. Idk it's a tough one.
fullpinklips01 I have the same question. Im big on actions rather than words. I met a guy I connected with as soon as we held hands. Never had I experience somethings so pure, powerful, electric, and right. We saw each other 2 more times after thay. On his last night in the city he agreed to meet up with me to just talk for a bit and then messaged me he was too tired and had to wake up early for his flight. His action led me to believe he didnt value me enough to see me one last time before he flew away. So I blocked him. Now I am thinking whether I made the right decision or just acted on impulse based on the feeling of rejection by him standing me up like that. What do you think?
@@joselyndiaz9229 if he wanted to see you he would have. However, by blocking him, you didn't know if he ever changed his mind
Just found out your channel!!! This video was exactly what I needed to finally find the courage to talk to the guy I am dating about what could happen between us when he leaves next month!!! Great advice 😊😊😊✌🏻
This was me before I broke up w my ex... I guess we're not meant to be, cus if we are then we could still be fighting to make it work and growing together
I pretty much did everything you said in this video about two years ago in what I thought almost was a relationship. It was early days & I didn't want to appear eager so I asked him if he would like whatever we had to go further..he said 'he wouldn't mind'. I thought to myself ok good enough. Few months later he went on to break my heart cos all he wanted was sex & although I never gave him the pleasure of that, I still hate him and hate myself for whatever little that did happen. Men will say whatever they want to get any little amount of sex. Be careful ladies. Now I've learnt my lesson & I'm waiting for marriage because that way at least you know it's what you both want.
if he is leaving - leave him. long distance relationships is a relationships with a fantasy and complete waste of time.
Long distance is really really hard.. I am also in long distance for more than 1 year now... arguing evey once a week because he is soo busy lately (which i dont know if it's true or just an excuse) but today ive ended it, and it is painful... but i can feel that he is not that into me anymore, eventhough he said that im wrong, but he kinda 'off' every weekend.. and we're not sure if we can meet this year.. anything could happen in one year, seeing his behavior lately, it is too risky for me to invest more time in this. But it is very very painful to let go. 😔
Vivian Ku oh ☹️☹️
I hope everything gets better
Vivian Ku sorry to hear that but it happened to me too and now he has ignored me.. it's really hard and I still love him
How did it turn vivian? It was over for good?
6 years ago hope youre feeling ok
Hi Matthew, Ive been watching your vids for a while now but i haven't really posted any comments about them. Men can be so confusing at times. I got this guy i like, we have the same interested and we've been hitting it off as i feel. (Ive met him online) He got a calming voice to listen to and all that, but after a week he came to me saying he wasn't interested in relationship. I asked him why he felt like that, not to sound like "you need to be in a relationship" or anything but he said he diden't have enough to contribute as to his life has been a little bit messy. Which is ok i get it. but i cant get him out of my head, hes been really sweet, his voice is amazing to listen to and stuff like that. When guy say stuff like that i feel like i am not good enough and i have alot of selfesteem issues around this because i wasn't born to be alone. I value a second half very much and i always invest full heartedly. My question is, how can i get him to like me enough to want to be with me and not letting me go? Im so tired of failing and im tired of heartache.Thanks for reading this :)
Hi Tone Andersen, I'm not sure how things are going for you now, after all it has been 4 years and so so much changes in that amount of earthly time! From your reply, to me it just really sounded like you needed to find that beautiful love and acceptance for yourself so that you are truly ok with being alone and not needing another for validation which only leads to heartache and pain. I hope you have found your one true love, yourself my dear. Much love and light to you 🙏💓
Long distance is definitely challenging
I have a similar question to this girl..except my situation is very unique. Been talking as friend with this guy for 8 months who lives a few states away. We would text here and there, and Skype 1-2 times a month. We finally met a month ago for the first time, and actually really clicked in person and went hiking and on a date. We would have hangout more but I had work obligations the weekend he came to visit his brother (and me). We text more than we use to now every day, Skype once a week, a have spontaneous phone calls. He wasn't able to visit me sooner than March so I booked a flight to visit him in February, which is now 3 weeks away. He has made some really fun plans for us while I'm there, putting in that effort. He plans to visit me in March, and is planning two concert trips (late May and June). He already bought tickets for one of them. But he has indirectly said he's unsure about dating me because of the distance. However, we have never talked about the distance or anything yet. We didn't expect this, it's an odd situation, and both aren't sure what to do going forward. The last thing I want to do is pressure him but we obviously really like each other. Advice? I could do long distance but idk if he would. How do I ask him without being pressuring? Should I ask before the trip or bring it up face to face when I see him? Should I wait to let him bring it up? I don't wanna scare /chase him.
This lady seems like a classic case of an anxious attachment. . .
Finally a topic j can relate to!!!! Thank you Matt!!! Love Ya bunches!!!💜💜💜😁
Matthew, I just love how practical your advice is. Great work
hey, i forgot to say your white coat looks good on you ;) it's refreshing to see you again after a very looooong week of memorizing stuffs at work.lol
listening to you is the best part in my "me-time".
This makes such great sense Matthew!!! ❤️
The question is how to know if he wants to pursue something? Even tho he says that he cares how will I know?
You'll know by his actions :) if he backs up what he says with actions, you'll know he cares. But even then he should be consisten, not just when he's trying to sleep with you.
Yes his words will be consistent and matches his actions, whatever he may have communicated to you throughout the connection over time. Consistency builds momentum to more trust, investment onto each other as a team, the attraction with depth and substance with creating a more solid loving foundation for the tone of the relationship from the start. Allow him to lead but also show interest and initiative in text, email or call video chat him too, so it's not just him doing the work. Real Men do not like playing mind games and lack of maturity. Transparency, playfulness, fun and ease in the connection builds deeper love, lightness in the heart and may lead to exclusivity and deeper commitment from him. Allow and be receptive of him to be the Man for you. Embrace your feminine softness and Grace.
Hmm, I wonder what a guy can say to know what she thinks about long distance relationship. I would definitely like to know the answer for this.
Yes, Romeo and Juliet would have loved each other without the war between their families. Romeo fell in love with Juliet before he knew that she was a Capulet.
He found her attractive. He saw her and decided he wanted to bang her. The drama with their families turned her from a pretty girl to a forbidden prize to fight for.
Hi Matt,
Thank you for posting this video, it helps me a lot in dealing with long distance relationship problem. But I have a question when you say "Do not do more than your share", how do we know the limit of our share ?
Thank you !
I always learning something from these conversations. Great stuff
@Susan McCord:. I agree. I think she should hold off calling and wait to see what he will do for now in terms of texting or emailing, see the content of communications, frequency, and general feeling in all, and last but not least, she will have to notice the feeling and vibes between them, not just the writing on the paper.
Note: But he did say he will be "busy" with friends and family. That is an indication already right there of his intention, I feel. To me it may ring "I am free" - Things are so new, 3 informal dates and one moment of romance, ... I would not ask question right now. Later yes, when and if it becomes pertinent. There is always though the possibility that the question will be unnecessary if his actions speak clearly - either interested or not interested, and I feel it is safe to assume they are still on a friendly status for now, until further proof and development.
Girl you are in a primo situation. You’re gonna be fine.
Metthew Hussey. You are my guidance. Love you for that. And many thanks 😘
when things were still in the present I've met someone from a different country, we have not met at least once since I don't got the money for it and likewise with her. we are all sorts of compatible and good and we have everything the feelings , the love care and sexual attraction. but then one day she just decided for to tell me to go find someone else and I couldn't begin to say what I have in mind.. like why is she saying that and what is this all about I didn't know. we never really talked about how we would make it work for us and who's flying to who and moving there... since we weren't really exclusively going out.. but I have told her about how I want to fly there and when I can I will eventually because I wanted to see her.. I know she loved me but I believe in her loving me till now I know I have that soft spot in her heart that won't go away and I feel the same way. we both feel so passionate and so profound about each other. if I plan on flying to her as soon as I get enough money to do so, would it be worth it though?
Metal Head I’m in the same situation..
Hey Matt I recently got played by someone who I thought I could trust and I knew him for a long time and I was prepared but I was mad too because and it’s so frustrating. Hello from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you for a video in this topic. I really needed it right now.
What about someone that’s going to be gone for two years 🙄
Goodness Matthew. Thank you so much. This video was indeed helpful. You're truly an amazing person. God bless xx
Trust for LDR... Happy New Year
How do you know if the man your talking to online is really who they say if they don’t video chat?
people want what they can't have
Matt your advice is always on point! Well said..
ALL YOUR CALLERS SOUND THE SAME, interesting!
Thank you and love you so much , you are my best friend, your advice not only can be use in relationship,but also very useful on life ,please keep doing the video :)
Wow! We agree on something @ 2:54 🙌🏾
I really enjoyed watching this!!
Wow this is similar to the situation I’m in...😅💕❤️
you are so handsome >.
Darling even though we share the same world, sun, moon, stars, we are a starcrossed love! We shall share the same space as one, maybe tomorrow, next week?
Romeo & Juliet is not a romantic story is a critic to how stupid love is when you are that young and you actually do not understand LOVE! It is not about love it is a book about immaturity! :)
This is beautiful! Thanks Matt
More videos like this!!! It's these video which made me a fan of yours
Great advice Matt!
My bet is that he ghosted her =/ I really really hope otherwise, but that's my guess.
Had legit proof my bf was cheating and planning to clean my savings through the help of Matty, he helped me no matter the location the device was, contact Matty via mattyw193@gmail com or text +12402843057 on WhatsApp or sms for SUCH SERVICES✅✅✅✅
I love it. All the things Matt says are so true.
that dude knows the stuff. a girl that ive been with is now pushing fast for relationship, thats kind of scary... i mean... i dont want to hurt her if it feels like it is not going to work and i want to stop it... now shes about to take the day off friday to stay 3 days in a row with me at her home, and i really like her but i dont know how to say "i dont think we should stay 3 days in a row togheter like that yet but it doesnt mean i dont like you, its just lets go a bit slower" dam relationships are so complicated...
Had legit proof my bf was cheating and planning to clean my savings through the help of Matty, he helped me no matter the location the device was, contact Matty via mattyw193@gmail com or text +12402843057 on WhatsApp or sms for SUCH SERVICES✅✅✅✅
I really needed to see this vid right now! It definitely helped me
I asked him about this last week (we've been dating since February). He says he can't bear LDR but he has strong feelings for me, and he plans to see me again and we did plan to have another getaway. Should I take it further with him or just stop already since he can't give me the exclusivity?
Are you still together?
This is so helpful right now omg
Could you do some more general life advice/tips please?
I'd ring up asking him on a date 😂
I don't have relationships. Can't relate.
What happens if a guy says he is only 10 percent in love?
+Mary Auer Then he isn't enough for you. You want someone who is head-over-heels in love with you.
I reconnected with my 1st fiancé from 27 years ago. We are single with kids and we still have feelings for each other. It's been 2 months and he still has not come out to see me. He's in FL and I am in AZ. Any advice?
Phenomenal advice.
Every woman who calls into this show sounds exactly the same 😂
matthewwww the one who saves my life can you plz plz plz do a video on how to deal with a guy that like controlling like I DONT want you to do skydiving because am scared of that for you or dont wear that and i dont know how to make him understand that he should respect what I want especially if their is no point in controlling plzzzz help hope my words made my point right thank you in advance mattheww :*
Matt... Where was this video 3 years ago? Would have saved me a lot of pain and suffering. Lol
This guy is a fucking genius!!!!
can this also be applied on the online thing?....
This is perfect!!
This guy doesn't understand the TEST of love
is not when things are placed on your lap easy
that's WEAK love, it grows in difficulty, that's the
point: GROWTH! Wow he doesn't get it. Peace
This was fantastic advice!!
This is great advice no matter what age you are. I have been on two " Dates" with a Filipino Celebrity Actor. We are around 50. He works in LA and Manila. I live in San Francisco. (I'm British) Here's the drama he lives with a girl in The Philippines, who;'s 27. He keeps telling me that he wants to end it with her. But so far he has nit done it. He's now heading back to Manila, and we plan to meet in the Fall. I'm not going to invest any more time in something that might not go anywhere. We are both VERY busy and travel allot form our work. How can I keep him interested if he is so far away? BTW I know that your advice is geared for 20'S AND 30'S. but there are PLENTY of 50+ who need help starting over as well. Thank-you.
Hmmm...sounds intriguing....any clue on who this Fil actor is? Hehehe
Makes sense
This was so helpful!!!
Hi Matthew, I love your channel here! I have the same problem like Mary. I live in South America but for 5 years I lived in Sydney , Australia and I came back to my home country this year. Now , I met a guy on a date site and we are having a very good chemistry and I realized that we are on the same page, but he is an Aussie man who lives in Sydney. While I was there I never met someone like him and I would like to invest in him but unfortunately I can't go back to Australia now. What should I do to keep this long distance relationship and in future start a "real " relationship?