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The BIGGEST Mistake You Can Make in a Long Distance Relationship

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
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    ▼ Chapters ▼
    0:00 - 1:05 - Free Resources for You
    1:05 - 5:52 - “Tips for Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?”
    5:52 - 7:47 - “Are You More Empathetic Now Due to Your Past Pain?”
    7:47 - 10:43 - “Why Do I Actively Look for Red Flags in My Relationship?”
    10:43 - 14:38 - “Advice for Dating Over 40?”
    14:38 - 17:01 - “Moving on From Someone I Never Dated?”
    17:01 - 20:59 - “Why’d They Change Their Mind About Being Relationship-Ready?”
    20:59 - 23:06 - Question From Audrey: “Who Is More Tidy?”

ความคิดเห็น • 121

  • @ArielLVT
    @ArielLVT 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +83

    Just here to let folks know that it can work if you both want it to.
    My partner and I were long distance for the first 2.5 years of our 7 year relationship and are now getting married.

    • @m.singleton8688
      @m.singleton8688 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's awesome, congrats to you both 😊

  • @user-ki4nd2vd5c
    @user-ki4nd2vd5c หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    My mom and stepfather never met each other in person for the first 5 years of their relationship. They were online bridge partners. When they finally met in person, they knew they were soulmates. Today they are still in love and happily married after 30 years.

    • @JulietteZephyr
      @JulietteZephyr หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That's a wonderful story. I think the key is: 1) seeing the other person as just a good friend until you actually meet in person - don't get overly invested before that, 2) devising a plan for how to make it a real life relationship once you met and it's been established that there is something to work towards.

  • @hannah816
    @hannah816 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    the distinction between 'be in conversation' vs. 'be in company' is great - thank you!

  • @kayenacur
    @kayenacur 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    Been doing long distance for almost a year. Being in company is key. We even do household chores with video call on. When I was ill, I'd even nap while he was working, with video call on, and it made me feel looked after.

  • @wingberry123
    @wingberry123 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

    I only believe in long distance relationship for a short period. When it goes on for too long, it doesn't make sense anymore.

    • @JulietteZephyr
      @JulietteZephyr หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I truly agree with you. And the man has to come to the woman for the first meeting, that's just a basic courtesy to establish trust and foster a sense of safety and put her at ease.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Absolutely right. There needs to be a game plan to relocate in as short time frame as possible. Your goal is common law or marriage.

    • @wingberry123
      @wingberry123 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@SherriFlemming Well, not necessarily marriage or common law, but actually being physically in the same space should be the goal. Remove the distance and be together.

  • @enchantedsoapsandmore
    @enchantedsoapsandmore 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Im just walking away of one thanks to all your advices helping me out figuring out the situation and watching for myself THANKS

  • @Emillyy94
    @Emillyy94 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    It was very challenging to be in a LDR and honestly I wouldn’t do it again. I had never been in one before, we were together a year planned to move there to get a house together next year only to find out he went out and bought a condo without telling me or planning to include me in it. I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life but I’m healing.

  • @bussery479
    @bussery479 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I always enjoy your content!
    However, the camera switching back and forth every few seconds was extremely distracting and made it difficult to watch. I ended up just listening to it while doing something else.

    • @merjakeranen221
      @merjakeranen221 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yeah it's just too much. Also "Q&A part 2" would have been a better and more informative headline 😅

  • @albisspace
    @albisspace 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Damn every time I randomly click on your videos thinking that I probably won’t find anything super new because I watched SOOO MANY of these lol and yet i always find some helpful stuff! Thank you!

    • @JulietteZephyr
      @JulietteZephyr หลายเดือนก่อน

      These videos are a godsend

  • @2110ADRI
    @2110ADRI 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I went through a break up about a year ago that was very painful (I thought he was the one, but he did not think I was the one). We were together for only six months but it was a very significant one for me. I recently found out he had started a new relationship 4-5 months after we broke up. That hurt me so bad because we were still kind of talking- nothing flirty, but still checking with each other and he never mentioned anything about someone else until I saw a picture on social media he posted of a dog that I knew was not his (turned out to be hers). He then said he believed we were not compatible and that is why he broke it off with me, but that is not the reason he gave me a year ago.
    I recently muted him on social media so I don’t see posts of that damn dog and accept that it’s over, but I am still very heartbroken and hurt that he was able to move on in months and I was left very broken. I know I have a lot of work to do on my own self esteem and not ready for anyone else, but any advice on how to cope with the process of healing would be appreciated ❤.

    • @luisafernandamartinezfigue9181
      @luisafernandamartinezfigue9181 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I can understand you, I lived something similar but my relationship was 6 years, and after break up a few months after, he had a new girlfriend and I can understand the feeling and it hurts. Okey, so I started to write, I’m doing journaling everyday, it helped a lot, also meditation, but more over journaling, also I read the book “breaking the habit of being yourself “ by Joe Dispenza it also helped me a lot. I send you a big hug from the distance, and I can tell you that everything will be ok, everything happens for a reason and sometimes rejection is protection. So God, the universe have something much better for you the better is coming in your life, just be patient and trust.

    • @2110ADRI
      @2110ADRI หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@luisafernandamartinezfigue9181 thank you, appreciate this so much 💖! I am sorry you had to go through that too.

  • @kadzo6614
    @kadzo6614 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +103

    I just dumped my bf..we haven't seen each other since last December. He is too busy with work and just loves bombs with texts and calls. Done!

    • @ahmedel-jadd7710
      @ahmedel-jadd7710 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      My came last time 22.01.2022. No comments. Only talking about coming. Now gets silent for even 2 weeks and when I asked why "I don't know. I wanted to call next week because I was busy". If calls then only expect sexting (disgusting). He didn't even texted back. I am done.

    • @kadzo6614
      @kadzo6614 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ahmedel-jadd7710 🫂🫂 just move on

    • @CatherineSantos-lv8ec
      @CatherineSantos-lv8ec 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I did that too. He was always tired and busy with work. All he texted to me was that. I ended our ldr.

    • @j12barron
      @j12barron 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      If they cared they’d make time for you otherwise it’s best to cut them loose
      Invest in yourself and eventually you will find someone worthwhile 🧡✨

    • @kadzo6614
      @kadzo6614 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@j12barron 💯

  • @elylopez5482
    @elylopez5482 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is amazing! I love it when you share parts of your life that shows your “human side” where you tell us how you deal with situations on your relationship. Thank You 😍😍

  • @julierobinson8173
    @julierobinson8173 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I don't think long distant relationships work as well in terms of levels of intimacy

    • @HENCHMARV
      @HENCHMARV 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agreed

  • @cari4026
    @cari4026 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    Great content, but way too many jump cuts in the videos lately. Takes me out of what is being said.

    • @shibejobs
      @shibejobs 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Less is more 👍

  • @susanlodzsun3249
    @susanlodzsun3249 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think everything you have to say is applicable to me as a mature person, you advice and wisdom is limitless

  • @ninaal2675
    @ninaal2675 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Magic make up bag 😂😂Matt thats almost lot of us! -Audrey you keep doing what you’re doing! Hahaha

  • @ChocoParfaitFra
    @ChocoParfaitFra 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Omg I had a long distance relationship with a narcissistic person. A red pill guy. Gosh the trauma 😥 I have commented a lot of times about this… it was just heartbreaking to be lied to like that
    And btw don’t think that you have to watch movies together and that’s quality time. The second time we met we mostly stayed home watching tv and it was so isolating. I doubt he wanted me there just to spend the time being physically next to me. He was still thinking about himself and his needs everyday. When you only watch episodes, and after the episode finishes you check your phone until the new episode starts, you’re just ignoring your partner’s presence. And it’s hurtful

  • @LittleSanch
    @LittleSanch 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for this great video Matthew! 💌 I have a small suggestion: Please avoid too many sudden cuts and switches in the video, it's distracting. I mean this in a very constructive way! 💛

    • @musicdesign7264
      @musicdesign7264 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I agree it's too choppy in filming.

  • @enchantedsoapsandmore
    @enchantedsoapsandmore 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Looooove it!!!! You need to do this more often!!!❤🎉!!!

  • @reretno
    @reretno 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    I've been dating this guy for more than three months. I did bring up serious question about what does he want or desire in this dating? or what does he looking for? we have no problem in talking or discussing that kind of topic actually. However, last week when I expressed my confusion about this dating, because I noticed that he's pulling away.
    so, I told him that I would like to know whether we're in relationship or not. He told me that he enjoys the company and spending together, and so on. Despite of that, he openly said that he doesn't want to put a label on the relationship. he just wanted to take slow and let it unfold naturally.
    I wonder if he wanted to keep his option open? if that so, I would be cool with it honestly. so that I can have my option open too. I told him before that I don't want to waste each other time.
    anyway, It does change my perspective on this relationship after he said the he doesn't want to put a label on this relationship, it feels like that I'm starting to letting it go, despite how good we're together.
    Does it mean that he doesn't want to make the relationship official? I wonder...

  • @vivigregg8929
    @vivigregg8929 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Matthew, great content & beautifully shot... the editing jumps too much! I'm getting a bit of motion sickness.

  • @ginaalesha2
    @ginaalesha2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Loved this video, very eye opening for me, thank you!

  • @mlle_francophile
    @mlle_francophile 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Can we have more of Audrey’s comments ? 😂👏🏼

  • @greta3315
    @greta3315 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Excellent, brilliant advice
    Thank you Matthew. You are a refreshing voice of reason and are greatly appreciated

  • @cookWithYuyu2024
    @cookWithYuyu2024 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    Personally I think the best is to just avoid long distance relationship 🤔

    • @brendaleverick3655
      @brendaleverick3655 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Right! 👌🏼

    • @mimmyx6998
      @mimmyx6998 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I dont think that way, distance can give you a taste of reality like are both ready to commit in any Situation and how can you Work through this togehter.

    • @Nimmie111
      @Nimmie111 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's not a good thing to do

    • @mimmyx6998
      @mimmyx6998 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Nimmie111 What ?

    • @amylenoir345
      @amylenoir345 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      agree

  • @saradf
    @saradf 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I try to avoid LDR but my type of men don’t exist in my country 😅 i agreed to my last situationship cauz he was coming to my town and it didn’t happen (solid excuses) and i can’t join him either (passport problems) so we ghosted each other 💔 a year later i still think about him and I’ll wonder what if.. this feeling sucks 😢

  • @pan6545c
    @pan6545c หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gosh, this channel is so helpful, thank you!

  • @nancyhoehn1756
    @nancyhoehn1756 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Chronic Physical Pain: Matthew, have you discussed TMJ with your dentist? My favorite dentist said the nice people have TMJ, because they are very careful about the way they treat others (Um, calling out partners for tidiness) and tend to internalize stress.

  • @LoriPHarris
    @LoriPHarris 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love you videos, follow you on uTube and have learned so much. You are my go to man with suggestions and advice!!

  • @DavidCartmellDJCartmell
    @DavidCartmellDJCartmell 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I was in a relationship with someone who was initially living in the same area but ended up going far away to study at university and for me the long distance was hard work to maintain it and was sadly forced to end it. One of my prerequisites before going on a date or into a relationship is are they within a reasonable distance to where I am geologically and are we going in the same direction as each other. My sister married a man who lived a long way but they did end up together because they were going in the same direction and that’s something to think about.

  • @dragonqueen4376
    @dragonqueen4376 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    OMG …Who edited this video!?! 😂They need to be tied up in a room and made to watch paint dry.😅 I got sea sick with the constant changing frames. 🤢. Great content though Matt!

  • @user-yg2lu7mf6q
    @user-yg2lu7mf6q 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The view switching up and back in the video was horribly distracting.

  • @craftcultureminutes
    @craftcultureminutes หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My boyfriend after six year started to distance and ghosted .. he left without informing...not picking call msg or any information... my mental and emotional batate completely broke.. what to do

  • @markclarencetrinidad9425
    @markclarencetrinidad9425 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thanks

  • @bettiebxox
    @bettiebxox 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    We have been dating off & on for 3 years. We have never met in person, only FaceTime. He has autism & it’s like dating a child. I love him but I’m tired. He isn’t a man but I want him to be. It’s hard.

  • @ng.alexandria
    @ng.alexandria หลายเดือนก่อน

    3 years long distance relationship, 5 years living together. Still not ready enough. The concept of time is ridiculous.

  • @irinabuzduga9748
    @irinabuzduga9748 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love you guys

  • @lanchenbameetei6869
    @lanchenbameetei6869 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I made a mistake making an attachment with someone who i couldn't make a relationship with. She found me interested and told me I'm her crush. So she was honest that she has a long term relationship with someone, whom she didn't find any attraction to. Now I'm getting hurt every time I am with her. I couldn't get out of my head those moments we spent together. She told me she never treated the way I treated her . Now I'm still hurt and I still continue to be with her. I know I'm gonna get hurt making attachment with her.
    I'm losing my boundaries I'm getting desperate.
    She said she love her boyfriend infront of me n I get hurt .
    She still says that I'm very attractive to her.
    We even had s*x.
    I don't know what to do
    I'm really feeling like God is punishing me.
    I'm a guy who like to have a long term relationship.
    I've been single for 4 years since I have been improved myself going to gym finding ways to earn after the recent relationship.
    Now I'm really hurting myself n I'm really afraid of having a relationship.
    I've been watching all ur content and i would love to listen some words from you.
    Thank you very much.

  • @Chris-hp2gg
    @Chris-hp2gg 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Out of site out of mind.😂

    • @HENCHMARV
      @HENCHMARV 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Fact

  • @marcleroux3426
    @marcleroux3426 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ufff that 2nd last topic, happened to me

  • @carolgodoy896
    @carolgodoy896 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Habría que resolver lo del traductor en Español así podríamos disfrutar su contenido Matthew. Agradecida por leerme

  • @floand12345
    @floand12345 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The choppy cut is definitely irritating. Please don’t!

  • @azizmemo2527
    @azizmemo2527 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    10 years from syria i
    Every sunday ❤

  • @jacquelinekabugo-raderson1878
    @jacquelinekabugo-raderson1878 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It doesn't work.

  • @Catelaaa
    @Catelaaa 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    can you do a video about a new bell i have discovered: “we are exclusive but not in a relationship, not boyfriend and girlfriend” like what? isn’t that what being exclusive is?

  • @hadiza1
    @hadiza1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm not particularly tidy at all 😫

  • @OscarGaitan-lk2dl
    @OscarGaitan-lk2dl หลายเดือนก่อน

    I don’t have them. Problem solved.

  • @vtec7627
    @vtec7627 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    He have problems with long distance relationship. And his new girlfriend she can move to his country.

  • @user-yd3ic5zf3c
    @user-yd3ic5zf3c 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I’m a 69 female and in a long distance relationship. I met him online when I was in Scotland and we had planned to meet up there but then he had business to attend to in Europe for a couple of days which turned out to be a couple of months and he is still there. I had to return to Australia. We have only FaceTimed once and our relationship has progressed to a stage that we both want the same things out of life. We talk about spending the rest of our lives together. At times he is uncontactable and this makes me anxious. I’m struggling with this. He assures me when his work is finished he will fly to Australia. Do you think long distance relationships are really doable and for how long.

    • @kayenacur
      @kayenacur 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Yes, it is possible. But not with this guy. Only Facetimed once? But he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? I'm sorry to break it to you, but his story does not check out.

    • @jessiekalff
      @jessiekalff 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Wanting to spend the rest of his life with you this early babe is a MEGA red flag..🚩

    • @user-yd3ic5zf3c
      @user-yd3ic5zf3c 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’ve had this gut feeling about it and probably just hoping it’s real as I’ve fallen hard, but yes the red flag is there and even my bestie is saying ‘Red Flag’ 😢

    • @MaricaIvica
      @MaricaIvica 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      They are .. But you need to spend time together in real life.. or else your building a fantasy

    • @Avalonkenton
      @Avalonkenton 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      You need to arrange to meet up again if he’s a no show a second time he’s either a scammer or married and you need to let it go

  • @Avalonkenton
    @Avalonkenton 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Don’t ever send money and if they won’t meet up don’t give them a second chance as they are probably a cat fish or lying about something serious such as their age

  • @juliafisher5844
    @juliafisher5844 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Don't do it

  • @sanar_desde_adentro_58
    @sanar_desde_adentro_58 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ❤❤❤

  • @kapsi
    @kapsi 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The biggest mistake you can make in a long distance relationship is starting it.

  • @misssahab
    @misssahab 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @mikeywinters8216
    @mikeywinters8216 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just started talking to a girl that stays almost 2hrs away & I really want it to work out but I don’t want to continue to text her all day everyday even though we ft every night. I just don’t wanna be to clingy, any advice would help

    • @jasomon2115
      @jasomon2115 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is my problem as well. I think I have already come off as clingy trying to set up a second date.

    • @HENCHMARV
      @HENCHMARV 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I’m in the same situation… my advice is try not to text too much that doesn’t help. Text maybe three times during the day and try to talk on the phone. Meet up twice a month .. since it’s only 2 hours , go on dates and spend time together. I don’t know if you have your own place or not but if you do invite her over every other weekend and you can go to hers according. This is what l do .. also lastly have a plan and a date on who moves where otherwise it’s just wasting time and you’re better off as friends.

    • @HENCHMARV
      @HENCHMARV 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Don’t be too available and clingy even if it’s long distance.. have things going on in your life like work , friends , gym etc and try to keep texting at a minimum. Best is face time and phone calls more intimate..don’t be too available it kills attraction very fast.

  • @user-om8nk2im3l
    @user-om8nk2im3l หลายเดือนก่อน

    Is it me or does matt look like a serial killer in the thumbnail?

  • @vtec7627
    @vtec7627 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I just lost my love, he have a new girlfriend.

    • @brendaleverick3655
      @brendaleverick3655 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I feel for you!

    • @JeffersonRah
      @JeffersonRah 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Not your love. If he found another.

    • @Nimmie111
      @Nimmie111 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@JeffersonRah What a stupid comment

  • @hadiza1
    @hadiza1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good morning! 🩵

  • @jackiegab9394
    @jackiegab9394 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for asking this question @grizle 101🤝

  • @olutadewumi8987
    @olutadewumi8987 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Lol @magicmakeupbag, she's so sweet❤

  • @LoriPHarris
    @LoriPHarris 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love you videos, follow you on uTube and have learned so much. You are my go to man with suggestions and advice!!