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The BIGGEST Mistake You Can Make in a Long Distance Relationship
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 1:05 - Free Resources for You
1:05 - 5:52 - “Tips for Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?”
5:52 - 7:47 - “Are You More Empathetic Now Due to Your Past Pain?”
7:47 - 10:43 - “Why Do I Actively Look for Red Flags in My Relationship?”
10:43 - 14:38 - “Advice for Dating Over 40?”
14:38 - 17:01 - “Moving on From Someone I Never Dated?”
17:01 - 20:59 - “Why’d They Change Their Mind About Being Relationship-Ready?”
20:59 - 23:06 - Question From Audrey: “Who Is More Tidy?”
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Just here to let folks know that it can work if you both want it to.
My partner and I were long distance for the first 2.5 years of our 7 year relationship and are now getting married.
That's awesome, congrats to you both 😊
My mom and stepfather never met each other in person for the first 5 years of their relationship. They were online bridge partners. When they finally met in person, they knew they were soulmates. Today they are still in love and happily married after 30 years.
That's a wonderful story. I think the key is: 1) seeing the other person as just a good friend until you actually meet in person - don't get overly invested before that, 2) devising a plan for how to make it a real life relationship once you met and it's been established that there is something to work towards.
the distinction between 'be in conversation' vs. 'be in company' is great - thank you!
Been doing long distance for almost a year. Being in company is key. We even do household chores with video call on. When I was ill, I'd even nap while he was working, with video call on, and it made me feel looked after.
I only believe in long distance relationship for a short period. When it goes on for too long, it doesn't make sense anymore.
I truly agree with you. And the man has to come to the woman for the first meeting, that's just a basic courtesy to establish trust and foster a sense of safety and put her at ease.
Absolutely right. There needs to be a game plan to relocate in as short time frame as possible. Your goal is common law or marriage.
@@SherriFlemming Well, not necessarily marriage or common law, but actually being physically in the same space should be the goal. Remove the distance and be together.
Im just walking away of one thanks to all your advices helping me out figuring out the situation and watching for myself THANKS
It was very challenging to be in a LDR and honestly I wouldn’t do it again. I had never been in one before, we were together a year planned to move there to get a house together next year only to find out he went out and bought a condo without telling me or planning to include me in it. I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life but I’m healing.
I always enjoy your content!
However, the camera switching back and forth every few seconds was extremely distracting and made it difficult to watch. I ended up just listening to it while doing something else.
Yeah it's just too much. Also "Q&A part 2" would have been a better and more informative headline 😅
Damn every time I randomly click on your videos thinking that I probably won’t find anything super new because I watched SOOO MANY of these lol and yet i always find some helpful stuff! Thank you!
These videos are a godsend
I went through a break up about a year ago that was very painful (I thought he was the one, but he did not think I was the one). We were together for only six months but it was a very significant one for me. I recently found out he had started a new relationship 4-5 months after we broke up. That hurt me so bad because we were still kind of talking- nothing flirty, but still checking with each other and he never mentioned anything about someone else until I saw a picture on social media he posted of a dog that I knew was not his (turned out to be hers). He then said he believed we were not compatible and that is why he broke it off with me, but that is not the reason he gave me a year ago.
I recently muted him on social media so I don’t see posts of that damn dog and accept that it’s over, but I am still very heartbroken and hurt that he was able to move on in months and I was left very broken. I know I have a lot of work to do on my own self esteem and not ready for anyone else, but any advice on how to cope with the process of healing would be appreciated ❤.
I can understand you, I lived something similar but my relationship was 6 years, and after break up a few months after, he had a new girlfriend and I can understand the feeling and it hurts. Okey, so I started to write, I’m doing journaling everyday, it helped a lot, also meditation, but more over journaling, also I read the book “breaking the habit of being yourself “ by Joe Dispenza it also helped me a lot. I send you a big hug from the distance, and I can tell you that everything will be ok, everything happens for a reason and sometimes rejection is protection. So God, the universe have something much better for you the better is coming in your life, just be patient and trust.
@@luisafernandamartinezfigue9181 thank you, appreciate this so much 💖! I am sorry you had to go through that too.
I just dumped my bf..we haven't seen each other since last December. He is too busy with work and just loves bombs with texts and calls. Done!
My came last time 22.01.2022. No comments. Only talking about coming. Now gets silent for even 2 weeks and when I asked why "I don't know. I wanted to call next week because I was busy". If calls then only expect sexting (disgusting). He didn't even texted back. I am done.
@@ahmedel-jadd7710 🫂🫂 just move on
I did that too. He was always tired and busy with work. All he texted to me was that. I ended our ldr.
If they cared they’d make time for you otherwise it’s best to cut them loose
Invest in yourself and eventually you will find someone worthwhile 🧡✨
@@j12barron 💯
This is amazing! I love it when you share parts of your life that shows your “human side” where you tell us how you deal with situations on your relationship. Thank You 😍😍
I don't think long distant relationships work as well in terms of levels of intimacy
Agreed
Great content, but way too many jump cuts in the videos lately. Takes me out of what is being said.
Less is more 👍
I think everything you have to say is applicable to me as a mature person, you advice and wisdom is limitless
Magic make up bag 😂😂Matt thats almost lot of us! -Audrey you keep doing what you’re doing! Hahaha
Omg I had a long distance relationship with a narcissistic person. A red pill guy. Gosh the trauma 😥 I have commented a lot of times about this… it was just heartbreaking to be lied to like that
And btw don’t think that you have to watch movies together and that’s quality time. The second time we met we mostly stayed home watching tv and it was so isolating. I doubt he wanted me there just to spend the time being physically next to me. He was still thinking about himself and his needs everyday. When you only watch episodes, and after the episode finishes you check your phone until the new episode starts, you’re just ignoring your partner’s presence. And it’s hurtful
Thank you for this great video Matthew! 💌 I have a small suggestion: Please avoid too many sudden cuts and switches in the video, it's distracting. I mean this in a very constructive way! 💛
I agree it's too choppy in filming.
Looooove it!!!! You need to do this more often!!!❤🎉!!!
I've been dating this guy for more than three months. I did bring up serious question about what does he want or desire in this dating? or what does he looking for? we have no problem in talking or discussing that kind of topic actually. However, last week when I expressed my confusion about this dating, because I noticed that he's pulling away.
so, I told him that I would like to know whether we're in relationship or not. He told me that he enjoys the company and spending together, and so on. Despite of that, he openly said that he doesn't want to put a label on the relationship. he just wanted to take slow and let it unfold naturally.
I wonder if he wanted to keep his option open? if that so, I would be cool with it honestly. so that I can have my option open too. I told him before that I don't want to waste each other time.
anyway, It does change my perspective on this relationship after he said the he doesn't want to put a label on this relationship, it feels like that I'm starting to letting it go, despite how good we're together.
Does it mean that he doesn't want to make the relationship official? I wonder...
Matthew, great content & beautifully shot... the editing jumps too much! I'm getting a bit of motion sickness.
Loved this video, very eye opening for me, thank you!
Can we have more of Audrey’s comments ? 😂👏🏼
Excellent, brilliant advice
Thank you Matthew. You are a refreshing voice of reason and are greatly appreciated
Personally I think the best is to just avoid long distance relationship 🤔
Right! 👌🏼
I dont think that way, distance can give you a taste of reality like are both ready to commit in any Situation and how can you Work through this togehter.
That's not a good thing to do
@@Nimmie111 What ?
agree
I try to avoid LDR but my type of men don’t exist in my country 😅 i agreed to my last situationship cauz he was coming to my town and it didn’t happen (solid excuses) and i can’t join him either (passport problems) so we ghosted each other 💔 a year later i still think about him and I’ll wonder what if.. this feeling sucks 😢
Gosh, this channel is so helpful, thank you!
Chronic Physical Pain: Matthew, have you discussed TMJ with your dentist? My favorite dentist said the nice people have TMJ, because they are very careful about the way they treat others (Um, calling out partners for tidiness) and tend to internalize stress.
Love you videos, follow you on uTube and have learned so much. You are my go to man with suggestions and advice!!
I was in a relationship with someone who was initially living in the same area but ended up going far away to study at university and for me the long distance was hard work to maintain it and was sadly forced to end it. One of my prerequisites before going on a date or into a relationship is are they within a reasonable distance to where I am geologically and are we going in the same direction as each other. My sister married a man who lived a long way but they did end up together because they were going in the same direction and that’s something to think about.
OMG …Who edited this video!?! 😂They need to be tied up in a room and made to watch paint dry.😅 I got sea sick with the constant changing frames. 🤢. Great content though Matt!
The view switching up and back in the video was horribly distracting.
My boyfriend after six year started to distance and ghosted .. he left without informing...not picking call msg or any information... my mental and emotional batate completely broke.. what to do
thanks
We have been dating off & on for 3 years. We have never met in person, only FaceTime. He has autism & it’s like dating a child. I love him but I’m tired. He isn’t a man but I want him to be. It’s hard.
3 years long distance relationship, 5 years living together. Still not ready enough. The concept of time is ridiculous.
I love you guys
I made a mistake making an attachment with someone who i couldn't make a relationship with. She found me interested and told me I'm her crush. So she was honest that she has a long term relationship with someone, whom she didn't find any attraction to. Now I'm getting hurt every time I am with her. I couldn't get out of my head those moments we spent together. She told me she never treated the way I treated her . Now I'm still hurt and I still continue to be with her. I know I'm gonna get hurt making attachment with her.
I'm losing my boundaries I'm getting desperate.
She said she love her boyfriend infront of me n I get hurt .
She still says that I'm very attractive to her.
We even had s*x.
I don't know what to do
I'm really feeling like God is punishing me.
I'm a guy who like to have a long term relationship.
I've been single for 4 years since I have been improved myself going to gym finding ways to earn after the recent relationship.
Now I'm really hurting myself n I'm really afraid of having a relationship.
I've been watching all ur content and i would love to listen some words from you.
Thank you very much.
Out of site out of mind.😂
Fact
ufff that 2nd last topic, happened to me
Habría que resolver lo del traductor en Español así podríamos disfrutar su contenido Matthew. Agradecida por leerme
The choppy cut is definitely irritating. Please don’t!
Something about the distance...
It’s done too often
10 years from syria i
Every sunday ❤
It doesn't work.
can you do a video about a new bell i have discovered: “we are exclusive but not in a relationship, not boyfriend and girlfriend” like what? isn’t that what being exclusive is?
I'm not particularly tidy at all 😫
I don’t have them. Problem solved.
He have problems with long distance relationship. And his new girlfriend she can move to his country.
I’m a 69 female and in a long distance relationship. I met him online when I was in Scotland and we had planned to meet up there but then he had business to attend to in Europe for a couple of days which turned out to be a couple of months and he is still there. I had to return to Australia. We have only FaceTimed once and our relationship has progressed to a stage that we both want the same things out of life. We talk about spending the rest of our lives together. At times he is uncontactable and this makes me anxious. I’m struggling with this. He assures me when his work is finished he will fly to Australia. Do you think long distance relationships are really doable and for how long.
Yes, it is possible. But not with this guy. Only Facetimed once? But he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? I'm sorry to break it to you, but his story does not check out.
Wanting to spend the rest of his life with you this early babe is a MEGA red flag..🚩
I’ve had this gut feeling about it and probably just hoping it’s real as I’ve fallen hard, but yes the red flag is there and even my bestie is saying ‘Red Flag’ 😢
They are .. But you need to spend time together in real life.. or else your building a fantasy
You need to arrange to meet up again if he’s a no show a second time he’s either a scammer or married and you need to let it go
Don’t ever send money and if they won’t meet up don’t give them a second chance as they are probably a cat fish or lying about something serious such as their age
Don't do it
❤❤❤
The biggest mistake you can make in a long distance relationship is starting it.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
I just started talking to a girl that stays almost 2hrs away & I really want it to work out but I don’t want to continue to text her all day everyday even though we ft every night. I just don’t wanna be to clingy, any advice would help
This is my problem as well. I think I have already come off as clingy trying to set up a second date.
I’m in the same situation… my advice is try not to text too much that doesn’t help. Text maybe three times during the day and try to talk on the phone. Meet up twice a month .. since it’s only 2 hours , go on dates and spend time together. I don’t know if you have your own place or not but if you do invite her over every other weekend and you can go to hers according. This is what l do .. also lastly have a plan and a date on who moves where otherwise it’s just wasting time and you’re better off as friends.
Don’t be too available and clingy even if it’s long distance.. have things going on in your life like work , friends , gym etc and try to keep texting at a minimum. Best is face time and phone calls more intimate..don’t be too available it kills attraction very fast.
Is it me or does matt look like a serial killer in the thumbnail?
I just lost my love, he have a new girlfriend.
I feel for you!
Not your love. If he found another.
@@JeffersonRah What a stupid comment
Good morning! 🩵
Thank you for asking this question @grizle 101🤝
Lol @magicmakeupbag, she's so sweet❤
Love you videos, follow you on uTube and have learned so much. You are my go to man with suggestions and advice!!