Why We May Be Angry Rather Than Sad
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ย. 2024
- Behind many of our moods of depression lies something surprising: anger. Anger that hasn’t had the chance to know and express itself frequently curdles into depression - something we should bear in mind when trying to dig ourselves out of our saddest states of mind.
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FURTHER READING
“We are sometimes swept away by a mood of sadness that seems to have no cause. We wake up dispirited and listless. We lack energy and direction. Everything loses its taste and the smallest challenges feel unfeasibly heavy. We struggle to see the point of almost anything. We are - as the doctors tell us - in a state of severe depression...”
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“The parent who wasn’t there for us, the sibling who mocked us, the lover who betrayed us, the friend who lied” you literally just described my life back to me.
Same pain mate🙁
Same here
"Depression is anger without enthusiasm"
Lambert Of God cool 😃put
so it's lazy anger?Then get off your asses you depressed bunch of shiits :v
No, its without focus or designation. Not entirely about enthusiasm.
That’s quite sad and accurate
Angry is crunchy sadness
thank you internet therapy
perfectly said
Oh Ship!! this got 370 likes..... HOW?
The M because you left a legit comment
Yes thank you very much it's made such a difference
I swear these videos are always timed to perfection with what's going on in my life, very suspicious that the school of life can read my mind. Seriously tho very useful video, thank you for your help
Surprise surprise, everyone's life is like that.
Same. I joke they read my diary for topic ideas. :) They do focus on talking about issues that affect many people, though.
I was about to write the exact same thing. Kinda goes on to show how life and human experience affects us all in ridiculously similar ways.. and at our deepest core, we are not 'strangers' to each other after all :)
Ya I'm convinced the school of life is stalking me at this stage taking notes for their next video...
same
Because when we are angry we tend to take more action or initiative rather than being sad we tend to be more reflective and recluse.
"We turn our sadness into anger so the pain would be less"
But neither of them decreases.
But for me the pain is more when I get angry
That just makes people into monsters. More than likely they end up dead at an earlier age. Depression can kill.
Jesse Millar Well get fabulous with the anger like Maleficent did. She got a new black leather outfit and blood red lipstick to crash a party she was not invited to.
That. And because what those people did was or is JUST WRONG.
If you did express your feelings, your anxiety and your sadness and they still don't care and/or discard your feelings, you have the right to be angry.
Cause it's just inaceptable.
Also beeing angry and beeing alone because of it, is still better then being sad and depressed and alone. Or maybe even death because of depression, due to commiting suicide or drug abuse.
Even thou it's not always the healthiest or the best way to cope (which I can addmit) I would choose anger over beeing sadness and depressed a thousend times.
I can hear Palpatine saying : "I can feel your anger, it gives you focus, makes you stronger."
Dudley2346 fuck Dudley
My mother always told me, "Depression is usually anger turned inward".
makes a lot of sense
I truely do reflect on my self much more than before due to this content.
I find these videos really helpful with sorting my mind out - feels like I'm listening to a good friend who understands/have been through similar experiences and emotions as I have. I still struggle with accepting things even though I'm very aware of my emotions and what causes them (also very aware when I start to overthink things lol), but these videos help me feel like I can get back on track somehow.
SamanthaSmile sort out whay
SamanthaSmile i have the same problem. any good tips? how do u deal with it?))
Whenever I'm sad I'm also angry, and whenever I'm angry I'm also sad. The two go hand in hand for me.
me, during the first 5 seconds of the video: i've been feeling this way for months!! this might be the solution i need!!
alain: ...a state of depression
me: ...oh
laibah catlady i thought that too aaaa
laibah catlady count if its been 6 months.
laibah catlady it still helped though, that's something
I always feel alone no matter how hard I try to remain positive.
"We're never quite done with the business of knowing our own minds."
Very well stated.
This is a great video and is very helpful. Synopsis: sometimes we need to be prepared to examine the reasons why we feel sad and depressed. It could be that we may be unwilling to acknowledge and express our anger. Once we do we may find our mood lifts.
+
It is better to understand yourself than understanding the world around you, and choose to feel good always. And it's really helpful if you have someone to share your feelings with.
Christian Alonzo nice !
choosing to feel good, tell me how that works please
read about Emotional Guidance System
Christian Alonzo a very good read 👌
what if you're trying to understand with oneself because a friend drifted from us. I'm just alone and a lost.
I am one of the rare people who are abit too in tune with there feelings . I know myself a bit too well but watching these still comfort me. It's nice to know I'm not alone
I am too. I was surprised at the assumption that the lack of awareness applies to everyone - or nearly so. Makes me wonder...
This videos came to me at the perfect time in my life. I've been extremely depressed and even suicidal in the past four months over a huge variety of traumas. I've really started to accept them and be able to move on. Everyone can get like this, it's nice knowing all these things can pass and improve with kindness and compassion.
I was skeptical of these psychoanalytical videos at first. It's not uncommon to deny that someone could understand the complexity of your inside self and it's scary when something gets so close, like these videos do. It's kind of strange how these videos are so easy to relate to and to connect to my own personal life, but I imagine that nearly everyone watching feels that way. And that in itself shows how much more alike we are than previously thought. Psychoanalysis can help us learn not only more about ourselves, but the people around us and the most basic human being in general.
So really, keep up the good work, School of Life! I'm loving these videos and I'm learning a lot. I think everyone should be subscribed this channel.
This is the first video on anger that has not made me substantially irritated. Thank you! It is a delight to know there are a few people out there who actually understand anger and treat it with respect.
Jeez , I haven’t allowed anger to come out so I won’t be seen as unruly or unreasonable. Yet that has led down the path to being unreasonable through pent up frustrations. I needed this video, thank you
"The Lover who betrayed us..." that one hurt. But also made me realise a problem, thanks!
Thank you so much for everything School of Life. I feel I have grown exponentially as a person since I started watching your films.
The voices and lessons you offer have replaced very damaging and hurtful patterns in my own voices. Thank you so so much.
I dont know why I'm really so angry, I mean really angry ,when I'm sad I'm angry not sad , depressed with anger , I need advice
Anger is a secondary emotion overlying hurt, helplessness, frustration...If you can figure out what has caused you hurt etc then that can help the anger to dissipate...I usually end an angry jag with a good bawl session...the hurt leaks out my eyes...and I always feel relieved till the next time LOL
We’re in the same boat
@@Quiche543 hey there! I've been struggling a lot with this, I'm so angry , every time I get angry I sit with it, I feel it so that it transmutates into the hurt sadness whatever is underneath, but idk why the hell, nothing comes up! It's like I get angry, so angry, I sit with the anger, it just dissipate until the next time, the cycle goes on and on. It's so irritating, I know what you're telling about is like removing the root cause of anger and it'll automatically go away, but I can't seem to figure my way out of that. could you help ,? Any resource you've come across or any suggestions? Thanks a lot in advance!
I never thought of depression in this way, it really hit home with me. I definitely suppress my anger and most negative emotions well (to the point that I can't distinguish if I'm hurt or not lol), which may be causing more harm then good.
Yes I have been in that described state many times and undoubtedly will be again and again. Suffering is really the one thing that unites all of humanity.
Your voice is so calming!
This would explain why I've never been truly depressed. I express my anger all too easily.
@@muneebiqbal5584 as long as you don't hurt innocent people due to rage, you can say that you are angry. ''Im angry today'', maybe they ask why and you can explain the situation and be helpful, but acting as everything is okay is unhealthy. There is a difference between feeling and acting
I had an experience with this a few days ago. Usually, I'm angry as hell in the morning, during the commute. Angry about the traffic jams, the BS machinations in the university or some nonsense people in the bus.
Last week, I tried to supress my anger, to "calm down" in the most artificial way. I felt miserable. Every single aspect of the day, the morning commute especially, was saddening as hell. Even having breakfast was apparently utterly pointless.
Reflecting, I came to the conclusion that I should embrace my feelings. Be angry when I actually am. Be sad if I'm sad. I'll just take precautions so I don't go into a unnecessary collision course with other people in a troubling manner, for I don't want to waste my time with them.
I agree shallowing our anger is ONE of the causes of depression. Not the only one, but ONE. for sure...
I get depressed out of boredom. life just gets so slow and dull sometimes, especially between paychecks😒
"I get depressed out of boredom."
Lol yea. Sometimes you just have to finish tedious tasks in order to attain something you want.
Like School, or a repetitive job. Any sort of requirement that is a rather draining task than actual achievement. It almost feels like a "Time Bill"
"When is this going to end?" You know where to go it just takes so long to get there.
It feels wrong if deep inside you know what you should do is just enjoy the journey, but you can't help but feel bored by your current situation.
Spencer Eaton) that's not the "severe depression" that the video was talking about. but I hope you find a solution to what your feeling
Would it surprise you to hear that boredom is actually repressed anger also?
The perception that there is nothing to do that doesn't cost money is completely irrational.
All these videos speak very strongly to my inner self. I usually want to cry during or after watching. I'm in my mid twenties and have gone to church and therapy but never could figure out my chronic depression. This channel has helped me be more at peace with myself and my life and has helped me make hard decisions and accept others as they are. I try to recommend to everyone I come close to. Thank you to all who put this together. The outreach has a pyramid effect.
Dear School of Life,
Your videos recently seem to be the most helpful to me. It seems as if you know when exactly what to release to help me understand things about myself. For that, thank you very much. I hope you keep on posting and helping me and many others, am sure, who follow your channel.
Best regards
Elen
I'm more sad than I am angry most of the time I don't like the feelings of anger and I don't take it out on anybody.I think anger is a very selfish and shallow feeling so I try to forget about it and bottle it up till it erupts I tell myself I don't want to be like the people who seem heartless. it's gotten to a point where I'm just super sensitive. I don't really talk to many people and I think too deeply about life I even forget the world around me
I understand how you feel, but pay attention to the video. Bottling up anger may get us to depression, as we don't know how to properly display our anger, maybe for the things you said, "It's bad", "It's selfish", and I understand.
I also feel very bad about displaying anger ever and bottle it up, but something that kinda works lately is expressing my anger to myself, not towards me, but TALKING to me, like I were the only friend that would accept how angry I am, I don't know if I'm crazy, but self talking helps me analyze, overcome and let out some of my feelings. I recommed you do too, if you want.
PkmnRay I blindly commented without watching the video, I felt like I could relate but I should've watched the video first and Thank you for the advice
You can take out your anger in positive ways as excercise aand get rid of those who treat you poorly!
Anger is selfish you're right
I've been severely depressed for about 4 months. I'm not sure what might have triggered this feeling. I think a lot about escaping and dying. but I'm just afraid to be left a vegetable if I didn't successfully die. Maybe it is all pent up anger...
l sometimes I get violent but I never take it out on anyone,just on myself...
PAXMH I do think like that. I hear so much about all the children and innocent people dying and in some other countries they are starving.
In Mexico where some people live in metal and cardboard houses.
I've got a roof over my head,food,clean water.
I guess it's more human selfishness. but I'll get over it eventually.
PAXMH they are pretty awesome 😀
thejrockjunkieraven what's wrong with being a vegetable? there is a lot of vegans out there who will accept you.
thejrockjunkieraven Listen, I know things get tough in life. I'm like you. I let things that bother me pass by without addressing them until it builds up into a self destructive explosion of anger pain embarrassment and sadness. It's okay to feel this way and you are no way alone although you may feel that you are. Try as best as you can to self reflect about what the root causes of your depression are and try to fix those problems as best as you can. Also keep in mind that for the things that you simply cant fix it will all become better and more clear in time. This may take months or even years but in the end it will all be worth it. Life is a perpetual roller coaster of ups and downs. You're simply on a deep turn down but dont worry. I suspect that you will be rising back up very soon. Also always remember this, Killing yourself does not make the pain you feel go away. It just passes the dreaded pain you hate on to the ones who you love and care for the most. I know that you are tired and just want some peace but just keep in mind that the struggles we experience make us who we are and you will come out stronger for baring through it all. Best of luck to you random person on the internet.
- Random guy on the internet who you will probably never meet but has decided to take time away from writing his paper that's due tomorrow in the hopes that he might help just one random person who calls for help on the internet.
I actually made a great step in healing by not thinking about all the people who have it worse than you and about how you should 'just be happy' with all the privileges in your life, as you essentially try to guilt yourself into not being depressed. This guilt can and will only deepen the depression.
Instead, try to accept your emotions and dark thoughts, but just don't try to act based on those feelings. If you feel sad, that's ok. If you feel like punching somebody (or yourself) in the face, that's ok. If you feel suicidal, that's ok. If you rebound into old emotions after a period of being not so sad, that's ok. Allow yourself to feel those things, they don't make you a selfish or bad person.
And if you lose control over yourself and do something stupid, that's awkward, but also ok. Try to pick yourself up and keep looking forward, even if you do not seem to move forward.
Amazing video! Yes I agree when you are sad pretending you are good for me feels terrible. I just think the thought you have to be happy all the time is one of the things that causes even more depression and sadness. It is ok to just feel whatever you feel at any moment and live with it.
I don't know for others, but here in my country is easier for a man to show anger than to show sadness.
EMSagahon Guess it is the same in most cultures!
EMSagahon guess the same everywhere. sadness is miataken for weakness
Yes, to all of this. And the inverse is that women are punished for feeling anger even more than sadness. People don't like it if a woman is sad anymore than people like it when a man is angry, but the punishment for feeling the forbidden emotion is profoundly more intense.
I've been angry for over 25 years after my parents passed away ,but it's expressed as depression, awareness of it is a good coping mechanism.
This is such an underrated subject...
I think as a whole there isn't enough practice or information about differentiating between ANY type of emotion...
Confusion between anger and sadness can be a HUGE roadblock towards healing, because it allows for confusion>feelings of powerlessness> panic> leading to stagnation.
It's great that mindfulness and meditation have been making such a wave and are becoming more accepted BUT mindfulness teaches us to live in the moment...
I've gotten relatively good at regular meditation and mindfulness BUT I still have alot of trouble sleeping because of past events and old "pain". It's hard to move forward if we don't spend the time that is needed to allow ourselves to mourn and get angry. Learning to accept the past instead of ignoring it...
I am chronically depressed and this holds true for me and almost every one in my care group. We so often think depression is something only the exponentially wealthy or the oppressed can indulge in . thank you for shining some light on the topic and educating people that it is not something extraordinary
I have found that if I can identify clearly the source and reason of my anger, I can then get a little understanding of the person (or situation) that made me angry, and this helps me let go of much of the anger.
I agree-partially. High and unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and anger, but pessimism is not the solution; rather, compassion is. With the empathy, humility, and understanding of our inevitable imperfection as human beings, we are able to simultaneously expect highly of ourselves and others without being furious when realities disappoint.
I feel like TSoL is sending out video's in preparation for my future moods...😂
"Depression is the bridge that separates our former selves from reality."
This video has been so helpful for me. Before watching this it never occurred to me that what I was feeling was anger not sadness. It's been a revelation.
I am going through a time right now where i don't see the point in anything...this video really spoke to me and made me realize things i need to change, thank you
Thank you for this video, SoL!! I had a particularly difficult morning, dealing with college financial aid issues, late fees on my phone plan, and on top of that, I have to deal with severe home issues on a daily basis, but I remembered this video and did a very quick writing exercise that I'd recommend to anyone and everyone! I wrote down all the things I could identify that were making me angry in a paragraph, starting with "I am angry." and then wrote another paragraph starting with "There is hope." and wrote down all the things that were going good and the oppurtunities and posibilities I have for the future, to remind myself that I am not trapped, and I will get through this. And it will be okay. And now, barely 30 minutes later, I feel much calmer and am moving on with my day.
I turned that anger into introspection. A bottomless pit of curiosity I am, I can always look forward to waking up and seeing what I got in store for myself.
these videos implant depression into people that dont have it, depression is natural in our daily life to feel, but this channel makes us be able to point it out so well and change our perspective, to linger on those depressing moments.
Amazing video. I never wanted to say "ughhh I'm depressed" since I don't think I actually am but this video described it well. Only a few events changed the mood as a total.
crying heals and calms mind. Its caring. Crying dont hurt. But angry people doesent always think first before act.
This is the kind of insight that can save someone's life.
I find it's more the other way around people show anger when they are really sad or afraid. Crying can help more then hurting someone.
"depression may not, at heart, be about sadness. It is a kind of anger that has been unable to find expression, that has turned in on itself and made us sad about everything"
This video just made me realize that this has been going on within me for a long time. Many years back, I didn't really get these attacks of depression, partly because as I child I tended to express my anger violently so I focused on trying hard not to get angry. I think in that effort I turned my anger into sadness that I keep bottled up and festers. Thanks for this video. It gives me something to work on and clarity on how I can fix this.
Hi my name is Andrew and im 16 and I actually have this problem and felt my existential melancholy sprouted from my outside enviroment, specifically the constant change of it causing anxiety.I feel fixed in a very big way and I cannot express the gratitude I feel towards this channel enough.Thank you so much. Your the psychiatrist I so desperately need right now.
You're**. As in you're welcome.
Yes, I am angry rather than sad. I suddenly discovered that (thanks to this video) and there are tears in my eyes.
4 years later it's still gold
This channel understands me better than i unerstand myself
I posit that anger and sadness are both outlets for us against suffering, anger is directed outward and sadness inward
I learned this over the last 8 months of sadness, overall meaninglessness and depression. I'm really angry, deep down. Thanks for summing up my last life crisis in 4:25 minutes, lol
right... attachment to what you think other people should do!!! Set yourself free let go... it isn't about you! do you!
i'm so glad that there is a channel who is able to communicate quite complex psychoanalytic ideas to the masses, and to make them so accessible to people who may never have be told about them otherwise- we need more content like this
sometimes people don't appreciate or know exactly how much you're suffering because of them until we get angry at them
I find that it hits me as helplessness and hopelessness. Welcome to America 2022.
interesting theory, especially about the mourning over hurt and consciously working through that. also, i absolutely love the animation style and colours.
Ending lines are exactly my thoughts every night before i sleep : we're never quite done with the business of knowing our own minds. great video!
These videos are so therapeutic to me. It doesn't matter what's wrong with me just watching these calms me down so much and makes me feel just so much more relaxed.
Thank you for this timely video. You have no idea how much your channel has saved me from falling apart completely.
This video really speaks to me. I've been struggling with depression for a long while and I have my ups and my intense downs. The depression I feel comes from (like this video indicates is a common case) my anger. I easily find myself getting frustrated by many things and bottling it up especially those things that are out of my control (e.g Politics, Education, Friendships). Though this video doesn't directly help it helps me to understand my problems even if I know them well enough already.
Am I the only one who thinks that these videos come out right when I'm experiencing these feelings in life?
What if I've been affected by everything?? Bullying, abusive parents, neglectful mentors and displacement. There's just so much stuff to swallow and I'm expected to do that while moving on with my life. Also is it wrong that I watch these videos to completely suppress my feelings because the narrators are so calming?
these videos always show up at tge right time. theres this girl I started to like and I couldn't really explain what really I like about her. we got closer and closer she would talk about going out more together how she wanted me to take her dancing and to see new things but when time came and I offered I was just pushed aside. I got frustrated and felt this anger take over me and all I have done for the past week is just thinl about the whole situation. it sucks that I just have to let this person go
I know exactly what he is talking about and I have already come to know who I was protecting from my anger. The problem I still face after acknowledging and accepting and even acting out to some extent my rage towards people in the past is the general tendency to avoid anger and to be seen as unpleasant when acting angrily. Sometimes it seems that most people I meet have the same problem with anger as I do.
Meaning that they see me acting the way they sometimes would like to. But when they see my pleasure in acting with controlled rage, some are reminded of their own rage but they still have not managed a way around it so they blame me for reminding them. I don't mean to be arrogant, I know I'm not better than anyone else. I have only learned one way to deal with a problem and I am still working on understanding it because every solution seems to create new problems.
Anger is a seriously powerful emotion and it makes me wonder all the time why it has so much power.
More powerful than love.
More powerful than hope.
Anger can last for years and feed itself, often without your knowledge.
Until one day something sets the beast free. And you never know who/when or what does it. There isn't a warning. It just happens.
And the worst part is, when it happens. You don't feel any better for it. You feel worse. Like you just gave it a pedestal and secured its position as the "king" ruling your heart.
A ruthless and unforgiving king. A king without remorse. A king who only lives to serve himself, rather than his kingdom.
That's what Anger is. It's a telltale sign that you have been wronged, in the worst way possible.
Wrong by your environment, your peers, colleagues, family, friends, environment, government.
Wronged. Cheated, lied too.
These emotions aren't with us at birth. They're forged and created by the severe imbalance and injustice that is prevalent and widespread in this sick and twisted world.
If your angry.
You deserve to be angry. You deserve the opportunity to get your hands dirty. You deserve justice. You are a product of your environment and your environment has NOT been gentle.
Go and take your power back, take your confidence back, take back your life.
Take it back from all those evil bastards who have leeched the kindness out of you.
This is wonderful, although I wish people would also realise that psychoanalysis is only one lens through which depression can be understood, and hence treated. Depression may be the product of unhelpful ways of thinking, our cognitive biases, or as the firm belief in a hopeless future; depression is a complex and varied state of being...
Perfectly timed, as always. I had a rough day at work, and I was thinking to myself: "Am I sad or angry?" The School of Life, are you stalking me?
Thank you for this video😊 I truly appreciate the work that this channel does
Someone give these guys an Oscar already 🤗🤗
all emotions are quite necessary, all in balance. Anger included.
I identified myself so much with this video...
I remember that when I was around 12, I got in a internet fight with a girl that I liked, from a game forum.
I had never felt so angry before. That anger started making me remember of more bad things, which made me more angry and more angry, in a snowball effect, I started remembering things like how I was beaten in school, and how my father didn't gave me attention.
I felt angry for many days, just straight anger all the time but I didn't did anything, and it eventually started to fade away, and I thought that everything would be fine.
Some days later I started having a very strong headache, then, depression.
I'm with 19 now and I still have both of them. Recently I could understand how all of that was linked, but I'm still not sure what to do, to make this pain go away, I'm sure that If I could make this pain go away, my depression would go away with it. This just ruins everything, I basically stopped living, I dropped school, but I could make it at home.
Pain meds do nothing for me, I remember that I even used codeine for a while(morphine variant) but it actually made my pain even worst. The only thing that makes it better atm are meds for fibromyalgia, but it still hurts really badly all the time.
I've noticed the opposite occurring a lot -- people lashing out angrily because it's easier than allowing themselves to feel and express sadness.
I love your videos! And I am becoming so addicted to your voice I can hardly fall asleep without listening to it. (Im usually watching these in bed befote I shut down)
your videos are pure gold. you are basically saying what i found out through years of therapy in a few minutes. but i guess you have to feel that it is true anyways, to get things sorted out.
Yup. The great thinker Steven Wright said a long time ago "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm"
Id note that most of the time we are truly depressed the anger we dont know how to deal with is with our self's not with anything external.
*Absolutely love this channel. I'm always learning something new and being able to change my perspective.*
But sometimes we're troubled by things that will never be fixed. And we know what those things are.
Right now, I'm pretty HANGRY. And sadungry. Feed me.
Here, have my ones and zeros.
Data bits are part of a nutritious stick figure diet btw
I'm feeling the "school shooter" type of anger today. Frustration is s motherfucker that never leaves
Dad?
Aaah , my daily dose of depression ^_^ .
"take your broken heart and turn it into art", or...
"any impression without expression is DEpression".
all the best to all the affected ones, there will be better times.
This was a wonderful explanation that I'm slightly embarrassed to say actually opened my eyes a little bit.
Bottomline: get to know and understand your self, emotions and thoughts and you will be healthier in terms of wellbeing 😊 i thought i might dislike the video because i saw a picture on instagram that contradicted with the title completely which read: "why tragidy exists? Because you are full of anger. Why are you full of anger? Because you are full of sadness." But i like the general conclusion which reflected that point in some sense and was logical in the end 🌷
I love this artist. I love this video, and I love the fact that this video tackles the exact same thoughts and feelings that I have with exact precision.
This makes 13 reasons why make sense. Everyone said that Hannah was being a drama queen who wasn't justified in killing herself. But the anger below her depression is explained perfectly here.
Anger keeps me going.
I love this channel because some of its videos say the same stuff I have thought a lot of times, but in the better way possible to explain the concept. These videos make me feel that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one who thinks like this and that I'm a little bit of a pyschoanalyst and a philospher.
Excuse me if I made any mistake, I'm Spanish.
I needed this video I am so angry and sad at the same time
Another perfect timing thanks for existing.
How much I learn from this channel !!!!