The Date: Stigma, Dating and Mental Illness.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2018
- Rachel and Sami hit it off it on Tinder and agree to meet for a first date. As the rapport builds, Sami decides to reveal a health secret that he rarely shares, with unforeseen consequences.
I’ve experienced the same. A lady will like me until I mention my illness then they take off like I’m a leper. It’s truly heart breaking.
I've just had this experience too. I met a man who was really keen until he found out my past of major depression and ptsd. He then became really distant and sort of patronising. It was surreal to experience mental health related rejection it so directly. I'd need my partner to understand about mental health so it was for the best but it's not a good thing to experience especially as I didn't choose to get ill.
my experience mught not be the same but I've found that for women with a mental illness can usually find someone, but for men it seems to be more difficult
You won’t get a lot of likes for this comment but it’s been my experience as well
Guess it has to be known one way or another.
That's also true in general, not just regarding mental illness.
I disagree. Every single man who has ever realized that I have schizophrenia (and that I wasn't joking about it) ran like the wind immediately or just got up from the table wordlessly and left, disgust on their face. They all liked me otherwise, but that one word (schizophrenia) made them all never talk to me again.
While I like the short movie, I was kind of shocked he would open up that quickly on the first date. I have my own closet full of skeletons but I don't talk about those till I really trust the person enough to still look at me in a positive light.
How are they supposed to otherwise relate the story they are trying to tell in such a short time frame without taking a bit of artistic liberty? Aside from that question, I agree. Maybe he has issues with not holding stuff back...? I know I often don't know when I should stop talking. More often than I like to admit, I've realized I should have stopped my story 2 sentences too late.
This film embodies my fear of opening up. Not just in a dating context. I'm scared to talk about my problems because people form a negative perception of me in one way or another, so I end up keeping most of it to myself and I think it's not doing me any good. I wish people could be more understanding. When I see someone is upset I almost feel like it's my duty to see if I can cheer them up and talk to them.
So kind of you. Keep up the good work and i wish you the best
Here bud, you dropped this (✋) it's a High Five!
I relate with you too well. I've been in involuntary isolation for the entirety of Covid in Canada. I can count the number of times I'm managed to have a face to face conversation in the past 6 weeks on one hand still.
And now, the fact that I have been socially deprived for nearly 2 months has put me back to square 1 in my recovery - and is somehow another reason for people to target me when I try to connect with people online.
That, and it hurts to think that, in this one video alone, dude has managed to procure more dates from online sources than I have in 15 years
Really well done and I certainly could relate to Sami. Thanks and please do more
"I don't do stereotypes." Proceeds to stereotype men with mental illnesses. I know its acting, and hope its an over exaggeration of how women treat men with mental illnesses. If a lot of women are like this, I will stick to my books too.
It is possible that she could have discriminated against him (She can reject him that's her right) but in general it's not advised to text people right after a date anyhow. Most people wait several days before texting again for the next date (according to what dating coaches say online) So she could have interpreted his texts as clingy ness. Also, giving up on relationships just because of one bad date, doesn't make sense. Such a thing happens anyhow in the dating world, mental illness or not.
One suggestion that dating websites can do is to discourage stigma
One thing dating sites can do is stop using predatory tactics to exploit human psychology in order to make a buck. The evidence is indisputable that dating sites are extremely unhealthy to the entire population. It's simply an order of magnitude.
You are picking apart a plot device rather than seeing the video for what it is, a demonstration of the effects of having no social accountability when using dating sites.
The main point of this video is that meeting people online, through dating apps, is grounded in superficiality. You are starting-out from an essentially artificial, superficial, non-substantive baseline. As a result, people will render ridiculously harsh, even irrational judgement and reject you for just about any (superficial) reason. It's easy to block and ghost when there is no initial meaningful connection, and the measure or degree of trust associated with it. That is NOT an effective way to start any friendship, much less a romantic relationship.
In contrast, when people meet the old-fashioned, traditional way - through friends, family, acquaintances, work, social events, mutual interests, church - they start from a baseline of meaningful, mutual connection (which begets a degree of congeniality, trust and empathy). As a result, a person is not nearly as likely to reject, block or ghost someone after dating a time or two (most especially after that someone opens-up about serious past or present life challenges). In fact, a willingness to be vulnerable should strengthen the friendship, assuming it starts from a meaningful, substantive baseline.
Sadly, for the vast majority of people, the very best that online dating apps have to offer are short, shallow, casual linkages or dalliances - a far galaxy away from the substantive interpersonal connections that form the basis of the meaningful, loving, long-term relationships most humans need and desire.
This is exactly why I expect now to never have a significant other or date. I have a lifelong illness called schizophrenia and just the mere mention of that word will chase away all potential suitors. No man that I have met would ever want to date a woman with schizophrenia, no matter how outstanding she is.
i think he should ve just put it down to experience, and carried on dating. If he had more confidence he would've just realized that women and men can be aholes when it comes to dating, and find someone who isn't.
I would have kept dating him. I have anxiety,panic attacks ,depression. Everyone has something going on whether they know or not. There is no perfect human. I prefer to date men who can identify with me even if its someone in their family.❤
Highly recommend only mentioning mental health further down the dating line. Allude to going to a therapists as gen x's love that stuff but just say you were working on some stuff.
Holy shit Rachel's actress is amazing
This is one of the most generic interactions I have ever seen. Nobody talks like this. Nobody says " Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features", unless you're billing insurance. People just say "depression".