5 Signs That A Woman Is Emotionally Immature (Major Red Flag)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ม.ค. 2023
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1. It's always about her
2. She never takes accountability
3. She's not in control of her emotions
4. She stays at surface level
5. She's always gossiping
One I would certainly add is whether it's in her bio or she says it out loud that she's fluent in sarcasm or sarcasm is a second language to her because it means that she refuses to deal with anything inside of herself as well as to deal with anything in the outside world and if girls will complain about not wanting to be their boyfriends mother or their husbands mother, and why would you want to be their parole officer or babysitter? NEXT lol
Jesus...this describes most modern women today. We're screwed.
@@Gh0stGaminginc no, they're screwed. We have the opportunities to lead, correct, and dismiss. Practice makes permanent and we basically will have to train anyone we date or spin (plates) into being normal&healthy again. Like Courtney once said, and I'm a real witness to it, esp from a text from one of my plates yesterday, is providing them the comfort security and safety they need to ease into their feminine. The one yesterday talked about how she's starting to feel like her old self again, and her friends, mom and one of her sisters can see her becoming healthier upstairs. She lets me do my thing, and I've done nothing but show her why she can trust me without having to spell things out or mansplain 😂😂🤣
Thank you for cutting to the chase.
Pulling ripcord now.
yup
Majority of women view emotional maturity as being able to express emotions and they think they're more emotionally mature than men, but in reality emotional maturity is knowing what you feel, why you feel that way, and knowing how to express them in a way that's both healthy and self-regulated. It's not just throwing your emotions out there to some people you can feel things. The most emotionally mature people are very intra-personal and look within to process their emotions.
Amen.
Also many of them think they communicate better but in reality they just communicate more. More doesn't always equal better especially if you are not getting results.
Thank you for saying this. It infuriates me how "women" see that as maturity when it really is the opposite.
And get all confused when I call their behavior childish
Damn this is well said
100% agree, too many women (but by no means all) are frankly infantile with zero self control or even awareness of how they are hostage to their own emotions. It's why they do stupid shit and then blame others for their own mistakes. Ironically, it's the men with better self regulation that get labeled unable to express their emotions, called a bottler etc. because women can't comprehend that they consciously wind their neck in. Men do this because (unlike women, who get rewarded for being emotional) acting like a child gets them nowhere. Women equally used to be held to higher standards (neurotic behavior was even treated as a mental illness) but feminism says it's no longer acceptable to challenge female behavior, regardless how shitty.
I appreciate the double emphasis on “it’s not your job to fix people.” It’s so common to think that’s the purpose of a partner sometimes but that mindset actually makes partnership impossible. We think we’re being compassionate but it’s actually patronizing for the other person to think they need us to fix them. Usually this happens when we don’t have value for ourselves so we think we have to shop for a fixer-upper from the bargain bin but really we just need to find a partner that matches us so there’s balance between give and take and both people get support as well as feeling helpful. If you’re reading this, you deserve a partner that isn’t a project.
Love this comment!
It has to fixed by a specialist, and outside of relationship. Konda you can't fix your car while driving it.
You could'nt have said better!🙌
Excellent comment...
I've always been a fixer and always it has backfired even though I learned a lot about people and myself in the process. I clearly realize that I deserve more than "a project" but then again, a couple days back, invited a girl I've been having great vibes with to a party. A couple hours later she starts showing too much attention to my friend, even starts filming him under influence and he calls her a slut and asks her to leave. I didn't know the specifics as I was in the other room but went there to see what's up, calm the girl down (other friend said she was fighting with the dude). While I was hugging her, apparently she was smiling at my friend who supposedly just attacked her a moment ago if we trust her words. This ended with my friend saying both of us should leave (without explanation as he was high and didn't want to get into it). She seemed sorry to have provoked this but how much was ambiguous. We went to my place and had a peaceful evening. Next day talked and two days later we met and she played the blame game on me, my friend and so on. Why did I leave with her that first evening I don't know (out of respect for inviting her I guess?). Why did I tried to explain to her why it's not okay to be violent physically even if someone is being emotionally unstable (my friend)? Why did I meet her after two days? Typing this helps me understand how ridiculous all this sounds, lol.
These are also symptoms of a malignant narcissistic personality disorder.
BINGO!
Yeah my ex was a bit like this
Omg..the diagnosis everyone is doing...it is trendy to call people narcissistic. We are have some...that what protects us . To know when it is a problem is very difficult. Now a bunch of women calls everyone a narcissistic
@@Luketa1978 normally I agree, but the details in this video do align closer to clinical narcissism, although probably not completely.
Yes there are bits and pieces throughout which a line with various neurodivergent traits of different kinds, but there are many more which align with emotional immaturity. So the information in this video gets a pass.
Even just a cluster b in general.
To me personally, constant reliance on alcohol/weed to feel confident enough to socialize, as well as just doing those things because they're the "trend" these days, are a bit of a turn off.
I agree.
Drinking is cringe anyway, but girls who drink is big cringe
The first girl I started dating when I seriously put myself out there after college had a dependency on weed... At the time I didn't even know you could get addicted to it. That girl would sleep with just about anyone and would blow up over the dumbest of things. Sometimes I genuinely wonder whatever happened to her. She was active on social media yet I can find nothing of her today
People who drink or smoke more than once or twice a week have a deep issue they are hiding from.
@@evanaltman9286 In addition, girls who smoke, too
As a man, I can identify personally with point 4, and this led to the breakdown of my own relationship. There were many things wrong in my life that I was too scared to share with my partner or outright lied about, thus betraying her trust in me.
You were very right in saying that these points aren't exclusive to women. Identifying these things in yourself, as well as in women, is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Thank you so much for sharing this ❤️ there’s absolutely no shame in admitting we have things to work on. A+ for the accountability here, love to see it.
I just added my comment that this was the exact portrait of my ex. It was super painful to be in a relationship like that... I hope you have healed and that you'll be able to be different with your next girlfriend! ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan You're a very smart, emotionally mature young lady. I hope people appreciate you more than what many of the negative comments indicate. Best wishes.
For any young men reading this, emotional maturity is the #1 indicator of potential LTR material.
Same here bro, her and I were both like this and that’s what lead to our downfall as well and it didn’t end well either but now I know how to open up without hesitation or lying if i feel too embarrassed or afraid to be judged for what I’ve gone through.
Mate, boys and men are usually not socially rewarded for depth, or emotional honesty. Glad you saw yourself in her tips...I did too; I hope it was my past self, not my present one. I felt the pressure was on during my first few dates to be 'entertaining' to be always 'into it' and 'interesting'. So I had to end up prattling on about me. Not used to silence, or even knowing how to tease out a conversation...even a question like 'what are you thinking about these days...' can go a long way.
A woman who takes accountability is rare
RARE!!!!
Amen. I concur
These points, and some others, are exactly why it’s important to date with intention when looking for a long term partner. Also why physical intimacy should be held off until you have had enough time to assess their character.
Agree.
Sex before marriage is overrated TBH. It's lack of self control, nothing more. Set the bar high and you'll attract high value people.
I wish more people thought this way. for their own sakes.
Agree. I try to ensure I'm at most having my time wasted. random meetups are not worth the assault risk at all
@@razzendahcuben Set the bar high and if you are average af you will be alone forever.
You can't WANT the best of the market when giving the value that almost anyone else can offer.
You want the exception ? Well you have to become the exception first...
I'm a 20 year old young lady and Miss Courtney is the best spoken lady I have listened to, I hope to grow and become like her 😊
Public comment. In any relationship between two persons needs trust and respect and care and commitment by understanding the principles of life. It is always good to have moral values and respect and protect your dignity and integrity and character in words and taught or deeds weather physical mental or emotional self realization is the key to success by using your inner ability to control your taught and actions base on how you procieve life journey begins with you. Knowledge is powerful use it wisely. Creative thinking gives Positive results.
“She’s not in control of her emotions”
My soon to be ex wife when we were dating threw a temper tantrum at me when I couldn’t take a photo right. Too bad I was dumb enough to write it off as a one time thing. Later on during trying to plan the wedding she screamed her head off at her own mother for SLIGHTLY putting the stickers askance on the guest gift boxes.
Seriously?
😳 yikes….
@@CourtneyRyan not to mention she is a GODDAMN Feminazi, so I’m pretty sure she doesn’t hold herself accountable. SMH
New Years photo shoot with our newborn son? Again with the temper tantrum from her when I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Honestly would have been better hiring a professional even THOUGH THAT COSTS MONEY and she was all about saving HYPOCRITICAL harridan 🤬🤬🤬
@@CharleyVCU1988 May I ask, did you stay with her because of the kid? Because that's all too common an excuse and speaking from first hand experience it's the worst thing you can do to do kid. Growing up with parents at each other will mess them up.
@@Jizzlewobbwtfcus I capitulated when she gave me a marriage ultimatum because at the time I thought I really loved her and could ignore emotional outbursts from time to time. There was no kid in the picture at the time. What should have known when I failed my certification exam for medicine and did not have a secure future was that an ultimatum is a sign of lack of trust, even though you are supposed to support each other through hard times and good times. I did not feel I was ready for marriage when I failed my exam and had no future.
She told me “marry me or I break up with you, I don’t fly out for guys that aren’t invested in me” at that point I was set to live in another part of the country for a year for additional training. When I eventually called her out for why she couldn’t wait, she couldn’t say what she thought I would do while not hitched. Never get put into an ultimatum guys. And to think I actually said no, but then I reversed course out of fear of embarrassment and potential harassment from her friends. The fuck was I thinking?
Eventually, I passed my exam while she was pregnant with our son, but it was a huge gamble on our parts. But the resentment slowly worked its way into me, like a pernicious lack of trust. And it blew up in my face later on.
What I should not have ignored was emotional outbursts that kept on coming and coming. Partially, I did stay a bit for the kid, but then everything came to a head. Yes, two unhappy parents staying together for a kid messes the kid up. I should know because that’s what my own parents are like, they stayed together for me. Well I’m pretty messed up now.
Emotionally Immaturity Summary
1. Its all about her all the time
2. She never takes accountability and always play victim. Defensive and blame you instead
3. She cant control her emotions
4. Lack of impulse control
5. Always stay surface level
6. Gossiping
yup
This is a fairly natural state of womanhood - not necessarily 'emotional immaturity' - as most women do not emotionally progress beyond the age of 18 or so. There's a reason why the expression, "the smartest teenager in the room" is applied to grown-ass women (and it's nothing to do with 'misogyny').
@@eddiewillers1 thats why videos like this can help people in general to grow mentally and not be stuck at the age of 18
I was friends with a girl *just* like this. She's someone who was very insecure and not knowing what she really wants. Communicating with her on an adult level was quite a struggle. I felt that a serious relationship with her wouldn't be healthy for either of us but we still talk some. Great video Courtney.
Don't do this to yourself, Philly
Just smash and dash bro.
Stop wasting your time
@@ashtonsmith9682 that's dangerous advice
@@ashtonsmith9682 and add to the trauma that she probably already has? You sound like a worse description than the girl he mentioned! Pray you get healing that you need.
Great video.
Suggestions for part 2:
#6: constantly tests your boundaries.
#7: makes unreasonable demands/sets you up to disappoint her (aka s*** tests).
#8: refers to herself as a "princess" or "queen"
I consider the last one an automatic no-go
All the annoying women calling themselves princess or queen are just fucking cringe
@@sharkinator7819 yup. Zero humility.
A chick I dated definitely referred to the last one. It didn't work out, thank goodness, since she's a bat$hit crazy Christian, who uses the bible to manipulate others. Needless to say, she still has that "Queen" mentality years later, despite the fact that she's still single, loony, & gained 100 pounds. She's a joke, but her pathetic ego won't acknowledge it, as with many of these modern day female clowns today.
#9 she starts an emotional cry if they don't get their way, with many different reasons....like they were caught in a lie, they were called out for something they said, you confided in them and they let you down, but cry to push the shame off themselves, etc...
It was the worst relationship I’ve ever been in and hurt me more than anyone ever has. Look out for the signs and run for the hills and save yourself if you see the signs.
I ended up being emotionally abused and it was one of the worst things I’ve ever dealt with (still dealing with after a month). Please look after yourselves. I’m so thankful I got out when the signs started showing and had friends that helped me figure it out. I feel awful for the people who get stuck in these relationships for a really really long time.
Thank you for showing this Courtney, really appreciate what you do. I’m not sure if you have already but I would consider doing a video on signs of narcissism. It’s a horrible thing to deal with and I see so much damage from it.
A lot of what you described is narcissist stuff. My father is a narcissist (and an alcoholic), and everthing you said describes him and he is a high level narcissist - 2 of my 4 siblings have been diagnosed with C-PTSD from growing up with him. The problem is people who grow up with a parent like this either grow up like me and can spot it and call it out, or they grow up like my oldest sibling, blinde to understanding it, and get into a relationship with a woman who is exactly as you described, a narcissist. My brother is constantly trying to win her praise and affection by jumping through her hoops, but she never gives him any, and he does it because he has always been trying to win the affection and praise of his father, it is all he knows. There are so many men and women out there who are in these relationships living in hell and not really understanding why.
Facts. My mom is a narcissist and this is exactly how she acts. My older sister acts like this as well. She is the scapegoat child, but she is now starting to show the same narcissistic tendencies as my mom
Honestly, I could've easily written this comment. Sounds just like my life, right down to the semi-narcissistic brother (because dad would let him escape ALL discipline just to spite mom) who's masculinity is fading due to bowing down to his major narcissistic wife.
He basically married our dad as a woman.
Also my dad's name is Joe. So this comment sounds so familiar.
Was thinking of that while she was going through the list! That hey are these not what a prime narcissist would do? I guess narcs are emotionally immature.
As a woman, honestly, this was super helpful. Lately, I've been more worried about whether or not I'm being a great partner. *cue Anti-Hero chorus by Taylor Swift* It was really good to listen to this and to have a self-reflection of whether or not I do some of these things myself.
The fact that you want to know if you are a good partner proves that you are a good partner
I'm here as a woman that's dated soo many toxic women. This channel is really helpful thank you! And this video is 110% a description of my ex. I was honestly so shocked and bewildered by the lack of impulse control and emotion regulation ability, as well as tantrums, lies and so on. Absolute insanity and definitely not normal or healthy. Very superficial and very exhausting. Very egocentric
"It’s not your job to fix people. People have to want to make themselves better."
Great quote. It's difficult because my career (software engineer) is all about, "fixing" programs, finding solutions, pattern recognition ... etc. Turning off these skills is difficult when she does #5, "She's always gossiping." She talks bad about a lot of things, incredibly defensive, and has that, "know it all," attitude. Extremely toxic. She creates more problems then solutions. Glad I'm out of that.
Also, thanks for your channel. Randomly discovered it last year and I appreciate it. 🙏
Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate you being here! ❤️
As a cis Chinese man and fan of his videos When is he going to talk about the round eyes stealing our Secret Fried Rice Recipe that dates back to the Ding Dong Dynasty?
As a software dev I concur.
@@jonesjermaine4387 bruh
Can't help those who are not willing to help themselves!
You covered a lot of ground in this area of relationship, and still kept it open and roomy for everyone to consider making changes in themselves objectively without offending anyone. You mention trauma a lot and emphasize the importance of treating the trauma and I can't say enough about the importance of healing those areas and not bringing them into your relationships and afflicting everybody. Until it is dealt with, people will not completely understand where this is all coming from! Not a wonder there is so much depression, anxiety, and a wide range of dis- orders these days including drug addiction and a lot of drinking to escape, avoid, salve the pains of reality, or simply growing pains of life. Your doing US a great service Courtney, BIG THANK YOU's again Courtney , love your channel and it's content.
Courtney Ryan just straight up described my ex who betrayed me no matter how much I did to make her happy and make her grow as a person.
Maybe you shouldn't have focused on the 'making her happy' part to begin with. Being happy is a single emotion. Women want a whole damn spectrum of those, not just the seemingly positive ones. If you sacrifice yourself to solely make her 'happy' you end up killing her emotional investment in you and excitement eventually. Keep in mind that most women aren't aware of what they truly want. You have to study that through their actions, not their words. Have principle and stick with it, because that defines your dignity, especially as a man. Sacrificing your dignity signals weakness. Cheating feels unfair but it has a reason behind it. Consider it as enlightenment. Don't always blame the other person first for what happens. The world's unforgiving my friend, but you'll grow when you use situations to your advantage. No relationship is absolute.
Hey Courtney! I’d say another sign is ‘Avoiding Conflict’. My most recent girlfriend always pushed off any disagreements we had because she just wanted everything to be happy and positive. Of course it would be ideal to have your partner share all the same opinions as you, but that’s just not realistic. If you aren’t willing to have a conversation and compromise/work with your partner…I’d say you’re better off finding someone else or being single. Just my thoughts. Love the channel!
I agree, that is a good sign of emotional immaturity. I myself was very conflict avoidant in my most recent relationship, because I could not figure out how to communicate my frustrations with my ex without irritating her in turn, so I learned the wrong lesson of 'every time I bring up a disagreement, it turns into a fight, so I'll just shove my frustration down and agree with whatever she wants and she'll be happy'. I need to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that makes it easy for a woman to understand.
I chose to end the relationship for other reasons, but my own conflict avoidance was part of it. I did not want to be with someone who I would have to fight every time I disagreed with her, whether on big things or small things.
Yeah man i understand you, that shit is the worst specially when they just dissapear for a while when they don’t like something instead of communicate
@@joanjoestar3252 That's the worst thing ever, it leaves the partner waiting, worrying and wondering what did they do wrong. Is it really that hard to just... Communicate?...
Remember it's not right but avoidance is also a trauma response. Accommodating type of women are told they are "ideal" by many men and then get clobbered as well for biting their tongue. It's a no win. There is a safety component to consider too, with speaking up.
@@therealsandraweise you're right about safety. I did not feel safe to bring up my issues in my previous relationship; and so I shut my mouth for fear of being verbally attacked any time I disagreed with her. Did not do me any good in the long run.
I’m only two videos in and I already love your channel. “We’re all healing and nobody’s perfect”…. Classic line.
Another great video, Courtney Ryan!! I certainly appreciate your attitude of equality especially how you emphasized that when someone hits someone, they are trash. That speaks volumes of worldliness.
Damn, I wish I saw this video years ago - would have saved me from a lot of pain. I hope this video will help a lot of people! Thank you for creating it. 🙂
Courtney of all the videos you’ve posted( all are great🙂) this is the one I’ve been waiting for the most. The last three girls I’ve “talked” to were so emotionally immature it was almost painful to deal with. I swear it’s the number 1 thing I’m looking at now anytime I talk to a woman.
Thanks for pointing those out. That's so true. I dated a woman with all of those signs. Makes total sense now.
I dated a girl who thought I was weird and was concerned because I’m not a shit talker while she was a big gossiper (literally the way Courtney explained it verbatim) and like, equated that to me not being able to open up to her about things; she told me this. Only after things ended did I realize how big of a red flag this was - add in the staying surface-level point to this too which I also didn’t really notice until after.
I my ex best friend had all of these traits and realised that her behaviour wasn’t right/normal and parted ways. Because she had a hard time in her life I made allowances for the way she was like this. I also recognise some of these in myself a little, especially 3 & 4. I’ve written all of these points in my journal and being truly honest with each one that I still need to work on. Taking responsibility, self improvement and healing are really important to me to become a better person.
You’re a gem! Love this!
Well done Rebecca xoxo
Keep this path and you'll reach better peace
I gotta say I absolutely can relate to this video I dated a girl who was like this and my best friend is like this but I’ve always had feelings for her but she’s married now has kids and still acts like everything you said in this video. Makes me think about our relationship because she only ever cares about herself and I’ve known her 26 years..
@@borbacymbals7331 I know it’s hard to just let go because at some point she makes me feel I do everything wrong
Consider yourself lucky and pity the poor guy she married.
Thanks a lot for sharing this priceless information. Greetings from Guatemala, Central America
I've never commented on one of your videos, but my gosh this one spoke to me more than ever. I had to keep rewinding because I started reflecting on all the instances of me observing these traits and missed what you said. You should do a part 2 for sure.
So glad you commented! Thanks for being here ❤️
I love these points. Thank you for sharing.
Having a run thru with a lot of "women" that display a lot of child like behaviors.
I can tell you, its frustrating. Infuriating that its somehow glorified amongst women as something "empowering" when it really is just being childish.
Arguing in Public by putting someone on the spot is absolutely not fine. Idk y this is encouraged.
Crying constantly cause you can't cope with basic day to day stress is not "empowerment"
Over-communicating is not healthy communication since your partner doesn't have the chance to speak
And Lastly, Telling yourself your going to harm yourself for pity points from your partner is really screwed up.
Well said. Someone like yourself that admits these things is rare. Living here in DC most of my life I have never/ ever met a lady that is true with her emotions. It's all the self centered types, the world revolves around me, I'm the boss b etc. So after time men just give up.
Courtney thank you for being you. It gives me hope that there are people out there that will call people out on their actions and attempt to help them, regardless of gender.
Clear, concise, concrete content.
Thank you, Courtney. 🙏
Positivity attracts positivity. Keep smiling and doing things that make you happy, even when you're in a bad mood
I control my moods, so I'm never in a bad mood because that's not something I would choose.
5/5 my ex. Have to highlight this for those already in a relationship with someone like this: get out! Your family and friends may not understand, they might even take the other person's side, because they don't (or refuse to) see what is really going on. Trust your gut if you think you're being mistreated, and get out. It's very difficult with little or no support, speaking from experience, but it's super important to push through that pain and get away from someone who is mistreating you. You don't have to be a perfect person to deserve to be treated decently.
And if you have a family member or friend who is signaling that they're in an unhealthy relationship, listen to them! Don't push them away, tell them they're wrong, tell them they need to treat the other person better, or tell them to give the other person another chance. Live up to the term "friend" or "family," and help them get away and start over.
Great advice Courtney, since deciding to focus on growing as a person my entire life has started evolving.Cheers
Courtney... Great video... As a man who has an OJT based PhD in aberrant female psychology you nailed it. I will say not all of these things are clear signs of emotional insecure. Granted it is often the case, but recently I was dating a woman who had many of these red flags and I called it out. We had to end the relationship early and then months later she came back and re-engaged in a dialog. Her behaviors were actually based out of anxiety and unresolved grief. She had lost her mother and husband in the previous year withing a few months of each other. She went through and intensive grief and anxiety program to address these. Now she may be the most mature female in terms of relationships I have ever met.
@CourtneyRyan I think someone is impersonating you on telegram?
This woman is a great role model, She is a therapist and shares her career on TH-cam. Pretty sure this is the best platform for careers that people love to do and I am definitely going to do the same in the future.
I'm dealing with a woman just as you describe. She's a coworker and ever since she found out I was single, she's been rather persistent. Not persistent enough to flat-out approach but enough to keep dropping obvious hints. I'm dreading having to tell her what I need to tell her because I've done this before and they never take it well. Had to switch jobs last time this happened and I don't really want to do it again.
Even-handed, constructive, positive message, nice.
Hope lot of girls are just like you miss courtney. More power and take care 🙏
I just ended a relationship with a woman that was all those things. I could not believe it. She was a drain in a number of ways. Thanks for the confirmation, Courtney. I couldn't believe it, I thought she might have a personality disorder. She is gone now. TG.
My EX would remind how miserable, and lonely she was or how she needs a MAN in her life. I'm like " hello, I'm right here". I have never felt so degraded before especially I did everything I could for her. It still cuts deep knowing I wasted so much on her to be unhappy.
The point about gossiping is so freaking spot on! Most counselors don't talk about this trait and it's refreshing to see her mention this. Good one👌
I think a lot of these are linked to narcissism rather than emotional maturity because for someone to be emotionally immature, that would imply that they are capable of learning and change. Narcissism is more so an aspect of someone's neurological makeup, so it's not really something that can be altered.
But she didn't say that these women couldn't change.
I don't think narcissism and immaturity are mutually exclusive, nor do I believe that they are the same. It's a spectrum and there's a lot more along the lines, so perhaps there is an easier way. If I could trust my gut over my mind every single time, I'd be golden so there's that.
You made me feel so not alone. You hit all 5.😢
I watched your video's for some times and I have to admit, you are so much right about the topics you post,
Keep on the good work!!!!!!
Signs a woman is emotionally immature? You already said the key word, woman
I had a dream the other night of my Dad. We were walking and he just kept saying to me “Just Move On”. He repeated it about 10 times to where I got mad and told him I can hear you, enough already. This video describes what I was dealing with. And I have moved on.
The timing of this video is impeccable wow
"Is not your job to fix people".
Thank you, all I need to hear.
Important things as well: 1:38 (it's all about her), 2:30 (she never takes accountability), 3:36 (she can't control her emotions), 4:25 (she always stays surface level), 5:14 (she's always gossiping), and 6:45 (totally agree with you pretty lady very much indeed). Well Courtney, I agree with the things that you have told as well. What I can add on among the mentioned things are these:
6. Playing Hard to get games; and also
7. Playing Cold, or Hot games (or I would rather call it playing Yes, and No games).
What I have meant to say at item seven is, that people that are immature they play that games as well. For example: One guy sees a girl that is interested in it. He comes to see and to talk to that girl, and she is not interested as well. The next week, that same girl now decides to be with man that she rejected as well. And then after next week she rejects him and that goes on, and on. It also can be seen with other way around as well.
The important things that we have to watch are deeds. Why? Because the deeds will tell you more things, and information than the words that people are saying. We just have to observe the deeds, and the answers will be there as well. Of course the deeds are very important in any segments of our lives.
The important thing is that we should be worried about own reputation. And you know what kind of reputation is that? It is the reputation that we have to live a life just for us (not in the selfish way I mean, but to be enough mature to astimate what is good for us, and what is not good for us).
Keep up the work pretty lady 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘❤❤❤.
this video helped me realize in my past relationship it wasn’t all of my fault she made me think all of the problems were from me and i guess i was emotionally abused without knowing thank you.
Hope you didn’t suffer too much before finding this out :/
Wow, you are such a beautiful person, within and out. Thank you for your kind share. 😊
I always scroll to find that wonderful list. Saves me time to cross check
Basically describes my ex to the T. Always blaming me for her actions. She literally told me when we argue she wants to slam her head into a window and that it's my fault. She tried to justify it by saying none of her other ex's made her do that. I figured out it was because I didn't put up with her tantrums. Once she lost control of the situation she would freak out. I never raised my voice at her or hurt her neither. I was mature about it and tried to solve the problem. She responded by saying she doesn't want solutions, she wants comfort. But if we were constantly arguing about literally the same things all the time, we obviously need to address things head on. Unfortunately it ended up going in circles.
Long story short, she was probably one of the most dishonorable people I've ever met and I've met a lot of people being a marine. Hopefully she fixes herself. I have growing to do but man, I've never met someone so manipulating and toxic before.
I commend for you your patience. After 6 months of dealing with my ex and her bullshit I lost my mind. My patience wore thin and my behavior was sporadic. I had to walk away because she was so toxic. She blames me for the relationship ending. No accountability on her part for her poor behavior. Doubt I'll ever hear from from her again because she is too proud. Probably for the best tho? I'm just sad it ended on bad terms. I wish I had better skills on being a gentleman ( like yourself ) and keeping my mouth shut. Looks like I have work do in that department?
All fair valid points. And literally most reasons I had to divorce my ex husband. But I relate to point 4. Not because of anything my partner has done, but I was raised to believe that how I felt didnt really matter, so I stopped sharing how I felt or what I really thought with anyone. I'm in therapy to work that out, and have made great improvement in my family and friendship relationships with this!
Should have worked on it before marriage
Excellent content Courtney 👌 well done. Great for both men and women to be aware of these tendencies.
You are absolutely right, it's tough out there! 😊
I'll say it is.
I’m a woman but this content is amazing. Good on you and good on men who are willing to grow and heal!
Needed this before my date this weekend, I was wondering what to talk about on the date and thought I'll talk about my TH-cam channel, plans for the future and what I'm working towards but I should focus on getting to know her instead of talking about myself
Courtney You Rock! Unfortunately everything you spoke of was spot on!!!
Cheers for the video, Courtney. Think some of these can apply to both men and women :)
Glad you are on here letting men know how to spot a good women by telling them what to look out for! Love it!
🙌🏼❤️
😁🥳 believe me, we appreciate that
@@tommygunn6901 you're whiny losers. I appreciate that
This is helpful.
Thank you for producing this.
A reminder for myself as well.
The first channel that I have ever seen with comparable revelations that appear reliable.
Other signs of emotional immaturity can include monopolizing all your money and/or time. Isolating you from all your friends and family.
🎯
That is always the first sign of abuse/an abuset. I listed all 7 forms in a comment. The most common is neglect, one that isn't noticed, talked about, or even understood
Definitely applies to girls and boys. Adults avoid these traits. Great video 👏👏
Yeah I think this video is a wake up call for me. I can certainly identify with some points, especially point 2 to degree. Though I've been kicked down so much in my life by so many people it's become a sort of defense mechanism for me, especially with certain people. It also feels like if you ever admit fault then many people will pounce on you.
Point 5 reminds about something you said that really hit me pretty hard a while ago: If you always are negative then that's what people will associate you with. Yeah that hits home.
I love this video, It has really opened my eyes and allowed me to reflect on my own issues and emotional disposition. I feel a great appreciation for my partner who has spoken to me and tried to work things out. I think you may have saved us a lot of heartache and given us way to much joy to fathom. Thank you Courtney, you are wonderful.
You hit the nail on the head with every point you made. I've been in an abusive relationship with someone like this for 6 years and I don't know how to leave.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you know that you deserve to be in a healthy relationship ☹️ if you message me on Instagram I can send you some resources that might help.
When it comes to leaving, why not adopt the Nike philosophy? Just DO It!
@@markymarknj Without getting too personal she has mental health issues/personality disorders and I'm concerned she'll hurt herself if I do. She has threatened suicide in the past and I don't want to give her another reason to see that as an option. Stuck between a rock and a hard place is an understatement.
@@CourtneyRyan I really appreciate you reaching out. I'll be in touch. Thank you for all your videos. They've helped me a lot in the past 6 months.
@@markymarknj This honestly isn't bad advice. Me and my ex ended on good terms... I couldn't see it working long term, and just put my foot down and explained to her I had to be done, and left. Nothing is keeping you in besides fear of being alone usually.
Totally unrelated topic, but could you do a video on how to tell if it’s a good time to go in for a first kiss? I went on a second date at an arcade with a girl last night and the conversations and chemistry we had at first were incredible, and about an hour into the date we were standing next to each other after playing a game, and I had just complimented her and she blushed, laughed and said a compliment back so I went in for a kiss but she basically ducked my head and like side-hugged me. I don’t know if I did something wrong or if she was just nervous, it was super embarrassing and the rest of the date was super awkward. Thank you for what you do Courtney!
just ask if you can kiss her. I do this all the time. But if she's looking at your lips when you're close, that's a very strong sign she wants a kiss. Also looking at her lips when you feel it's right or almost that time also signals your intentions. Lastly, if you're hugging a long time and she flashes those signs, its likely she wants to kiss you. Nothing wrong with asking tho, girls appreciate that chivalry.
Ghost her
Thanks for these videos and the effort and honesty you've put in to them, I think they are very concise and easy to understand.
Easily one of your best videos -- Thank you Courtney!
Happy Wednesday Courtney! ❤ Nearly at 500K.
I can’t believe it! ❤️
Yessssss. On the road to 2M!
The never taking accountability has been big red flag for me in past gets worse longer u ignore it thanks for this video
"this channel is about being the best that you can be", and that fact, Courtney, is why I love y'all.
This made me look at past relationships way differently and put less blame on myself, thanks🤔
The fourth one (staying surface level) is pretty much my entire personality. I want both emotional and physical intimacy but am afraid of and am unwilling to commit to those things at the same time, I am not even comfortable talking about my own interests with other people except for totally safe things like sports and work. I find it hard to consider that I could do a good job caring for someone else, or that someone else would want to do their best for me, when I have the embarrassment of not doing such a great job caring for myself.
Idk you bro but time heals everything
Same. I'm struggling with this for years. I went to therapy and got better
One of the most major other signs I've noticed are two-fold (from my current toxic situationship, other than lani's list of the most poignant things)
1.) - does every little thing she can to devalue me/enrich her reputation at my expense (from gossiping badly about me to talking over me to disavowing all my interests while expecting me to partake of hers to trying to imitate the things i've done to make money or even mannerisms or disavowing an idea i gave her but later trying to take credit for it as hers)
2.) - uses a "tit-for-tat" mentality on every gift or even the smallest things, like if I ask her to scratch my back - it's always later on "well, I did for you, so now, you owe me a dinner or what're you gonna do for me or I would like you to cat sit this many times whenever i ask"
Good eye. In my last toxic relationship of 2+ years (mostly on/off) I noticed the tit-for-that a lot from partner while, on the other hand, I also noticed in myself the fact that, after so much gaslighting, betrayal, bullying and secrets/lies I've been subject to, I started to withhold both my attention and finances. Tried to leave multiple times. So one could (and she did) say that I was using her even though on a net basis this was definitely the other way around. That's the worst part for me in relationships with these kind of people - they make you distrust your own judgement and memory while, at the same time, create walls between you and your support network. Truly feels like insanity at times.
Thank you for this particular video. It hit me like a brick wall at this particular point in my life; You are the best!
Hi Courtney...i appreciate you, and thank you for attempting to help men grow.
I have found my self at an impasse... I have had multiple relationships over the last 4 years since separating with my wife... i am an a non average looking man in my community as Pacific Islanders are rare in my part of the world.... I feel like every time i meet a women they are so focussed too much on them selves it just puts me off...it puts a lot of other men off too....i match with a woman on a dating apps... and will add them to my circle if they seem worthy... if not ill just move them on
We must protect this woman at all costs!
This list better include the inability to say sorry as well as playing games while saying everyone else plays games. Like Craig said too Smokey in the Friday movie, "ain't nobody playing but you"
I also warn guys about another one which is whether it's in her bio or she just says it out loud that sarcasm is her second language or she's fluent in sarcasm; that's a big red flag because it means she doesn't ever deal with anything inside of herself or in the outside world and trust me, fellas, if girls have to say they don't want to be your mother when they're dating you, you shouldn't have to be their parole officer when dating them
🫡
This helped me to feel grateful for now and was a confirmation that I made the right decision.
Well said across the board. Most of my dating history is generally good and stable loving relationships that ended because we were young and wanted to see what else was out there which has led to long lasting non toxic non romantic long term friendships. On the other hand the last 2 women I've dated were everything you described and more. I'm not one to bash exes because I did choose them and they did have some great qualities and were lovely women but, but. The girl before my last relationship was blowing me up like 2 months in on a Sunday I was spending with my family and mother on Mother's day. That's it, was even posting pictures to social media. She was completely irate that my response time went from the usual relatively quickly to 10 minutes sometimes, sometimes 30 minutes, and she call spammed, DM'd and texted, left voice mails and videos most of which I didn't watch or listen to because it was the same point. The next day at work was the day I broke up with her and she called 40 something times and left endless messages Eventually I had to block her. My last gf we broke up and got back together 6 times within the 10 months we dated, she wanted to get back together last time but she blocked me because I told her I was talking to someone else. These 2 relationships were very unique and I went into it like whateeever you'er hot lets do this. Also cliche, the deep seated father issues or deep schisms among the family seemed to be a thing. My last ex would compare our relationships to her exes in like a conversational format so often she started catching herself and visibly noticing and she clearly saw it was an unhealthy thing. Now I'm talking to a girl who has some of these things popping up and I can feel that part of myself like "Sooo what take an adventure she's ridiculously hot" but this girl seems to be genuinely trying to improve herself without me giving any sort of prompts. She seems like one of those who changes if she may have a reason to. Whether its temporary or lasting I may or may not find out and report. Cheers again good stuff
Glad i live overseas happy as a kid in a candy store 😎 , Ryan
😂😂
@@CourtneyRyan As men are kings here, have a greay day Ryan 😉
My ex-wife and I could never connect on a deep level at all. I love deep conversation and topics and expression, and she didn't mind at first but shortly afterwards she wants only surface level conversations and berated me if I started to get deep. Plus the mind games and everything didn't help either. I wish I heard this when I was younger otherwise I would have saved myself 14 years of tears, but in the end I am thankful that I was able to realize that no matter what I did nothing could be fixed and I left. I am now much happier with a woman who doesn't do any of these things that Courtney has mentioned and I looking forward to the future with her. Thank Courtney for these videos.
I couldn't imagine not engaging in deep conversation and just being able to ponder and philosophize with whomever I chose to be my husband. While I wouldn't get deep all the time of course, life needs some levity and simple, surface-level, blissful enjoyment too, but I love deep exploration of the mind when the mood hits. Not being able to talk about something like that with someone I love would leave me absolutely _starving_ for depth, I think I'd go crazy emotionally. I'd almost feel trapped in a way, like I can't truly be authentic because I'm metaphorically censored and gagged.
Happy to hear that things turned out well for you and that you were finally able to get what you craved in the end.
@@LadyDecember I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year and three months because EXACTLY that. I mean, there were other things that Courtney described in the video as well, but we were unable to discuss anything deep. I would talk about something and she would respond with "that's too deep for me", "why are you thinking so much", etc.
The way you explained it was exactly how I felt.
The reason I stayed was cause I thought (heh) that the other stuff mattered more; us going out, cuddling on the weekends, being able to explore, etc. Those are great things for sure! But deep conversations, the lack of emotional intelligence and control , the absence of growth... I had to walk away. Glad I did.
Am glad the two of you are with partners that give you what fits your personalities and characteristics.
It's really tough for me to open up to people. Because in the past, i was either judged or invalidated for sharing my feelings. There's a reason why only a handful of people have seen me let my guard down and be vulnerable. Those people are my closest friends and it took me a couple years to trust them enough to get to that level with them. You should always be very selective of who you open up to. Because the wrong person will try to use it against you any way they can
I am really mature. Yet I still learned something from this video. Thanks
This is my mother.
The more videos I see about these kind of behaviors are the more I realize about who she really is.
I’m an only child and I feel Iike I’ve always been more of the adult than her. Living with her is starting to feel more and more impossible. My feelings are completely dismissed if it doesn’t benefit her or feeding into her gossip fix. She completely flips the conversation on me if I try to speak up about how she is when it comes to finances and our home environment.
I love my mom but it’s sad realizing the parent you thought was a superhero as a kid is not really who they truly are as I’m growing as an adult.
Hey, are things better?
Very relatable.
@@wasabi333
hello, things have gotten better. I was able to move out since this comment. I still spend some time with my mom. But, I don’t feel consumed like I did when I was living with her. She’s still the same but it’s a better feeling that you know can go back to your own space and have that peace again. Sometimes even if it’s your own parents the love and relationship is better at a distance.
@@Reclusiveone Wow! Thanks for responding!
Yeah... I know how it goes...
Narc mom, kinda narc distant father. LOL.
Now I just broke up with a chick I'm think might be a narc...
Sorry if this is too much info.
Things improved to me a lot as well after moving out too.
I hope things keep getting better for you. ;D
Great tips Courtney! Thank you for the in depth info🙌
It’s my pleasure! Thanks for being here! ❤️
"YOUR ACTIONS MAKE ME BEHAVE THIS WAY" 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯
Hey Courtney this is great information,the points you made are true. Thank you for your content.
I do number 4. Being emotionally vulnerable is a no go for me anymore. Been used against me too many times.
This is exactly why I got divorced...
You are awesome! Thank you so much for how much you've helped me. You've given me great advice and aren't afraid to give hard truths. You've made me look in the mirror so many times and grow. I'm still single and may be for a long time, but you're really helping me in life in general. Thank you so much
Whoever is dating this woman is extremely lucky to have such a level-headed woman. thanks for sharing your video it actually helped me a lot
7 forms of abuse:
1. Isolation (keeping someone from having other relationships, i.e. family&friends)
2. Intellectual abuse (most prominent example is wives belittling and calling their husbands stupid)
3. Physical abuse
4. Sexual abuse (which includes doing something to another not prior discussed)
5. Emotional abuse (like name calling)
6. Mental/psychological abuse
7. Neglect, theee most common and undernoticed/underrated form of abuse.
Thank you for sharing this Joseph.
@@CourtneyRyan no prob. I did a great paper on this in college