Man I so understand this. It’s like a constant hyper awareness of everything. And if there is nothing to think about your mind is uncomfortable with peace so it finds something to worry about.
in my view, i would call it hyper vigilance rather than hyper awareness, since awareness has a connotation of seeing something clearly, where hyper vigilance has anxiety to it. ;)
@@Fire-Toolz I agree on the semantic point you raise. I tie in Emma's work with Polyvagal Theory. Since learning about the states of vagus arousal and retention of trauma in the body, I interpreted my own 'condition' as no longer being an 'anxious person', but having learned to retain fight-or-flight/freeze from day-to-day as protection against experiencing further traumatic events I'd suffered as a child. Now I know this hyper-vigilance is an unnatural state to be continually in. What I wonder is, why, in what is generally considered an extremely beneficent era to exist in, so many people need drugs (prescribed and 'recreational'), supplements, myriad alternative therapies in order to cope with contemporary life. It's also interesting to me that the most investigation into anxiety/depression and the concomitant data is almost totally American in origin - the most prosperous large country in production of wealth per capita in the world. I've never seen output of the same nature and extent from Switzerland or the Scandinavian countries. We, in the largely industrial and business-oriented (i.e. wealth and high living standard generating) countries seem to have yoked a mass of neuroses around our shoulders. No governments seem to be moved to ask why so it's a societal problem we're largely being left to deal with as individuals.
Signs of overthinking 1)can’t sleep easily 2)decision making problems 3)re-create past events 4)ask questions like what if or why me 5)make negative assumptions
Overthinking should be my last name-it’s what was taught in my house growing up. It’s so comforting to know it can be unlearned! This is great. Thanks Emma!
You could look into the Flow Philosophy th-cam.com/video/JtGtqmC5wU4/w-d-xo.html Alternatively, in popular culture, the movie The Big Lebowski is about a person who lives life so chill that he never worries about anything and accepts anything and everything that life throws at him, which is pretty intense, but he remains calm and "chill" through most of it. It's not about a person with mental / emotional superpowers, it is about a "loser" who smokes weed and "doesn't care". The movie spawned an internet cult movement called Dudeism in which everyone just chills and keeps ambitions at a minimum. Society likes to call these people "unambitious losers" but they have a great life skill - of being able to turn off their brains about any worrisome future event. The short version of all this is to let the universe control your life and you just go with the flow doing only what is necessary for you to do to fit in the plans of the universe for you. For example, if you need to live till 70, you need to eat well and that means you actually have to find food and eat it. So you do that. But you let the universe worry about where the food will come from - because the universe wants you to live till 70, not you, so push the responsibility of finding the food source onto the universe. This attitude sounds very lazy or very eccentric, but works as a solid miraculous antidote to anxiety and overthinking. Try it out first in small things in life, then maybe after a year or two of practising, in bigger things. As a bonus you find that destiny is a real thing, and so we don't really need to worry that much about anything.
Man I remember being confident when I was a teen and being willing to roll with imperfect decisions while knowing my decisions would come with unpredicted things that would go wrong, but I strode on and did stuff anyway. I'd do anything to go back to being like that again, as an adult. Spending my adulthood in decision paralysis, overthinking, and basically wasting years away in depression sucks!
I agree with you! I wonder how I was able to do that as a teen, but I was. I’ve wasted so many years in depression and indecision as well. It makes me sick to think of it. Maybe we should all pretend we’re teenagers again. Take care. 💕
Finally someone gets it! Rumination is a positive feedback loop with my depression and anxiety- each feeds the other in an attempt to offer some sense of stability and control when I feel physically bad, but it ends up just feeding the depressive episode instead.
Your videos make me feel instantly calmer. They’re straightforward. They make me realize I’m spiralling in my thoughts and I can get a grip when I realize that I’m being foolish with my thoughts.
“ruminant-like a cow” is how I always explain it to people too :) Every time my one friend calls me when I’m not expecting it I ask him if it’s something bad lol. 99% of the time people don’t call me so it does kinda freak me out. Looking forward to the series but I wanted to share-Something that really helped me was the concept of “worry time.” You schedule a certain time to worry as much as you want and the rest of the time you’re like “that’s not what we’re doing right now.” In practice for me it’s like an hour of super negative journal thoughts and then after it’s purged I have to try to be more reasonable. I haven’t needed to do it as often since I started self-compassion and lovingkindness meditation though.
I'm a Premenopausal woman who recently in the last year or so has started ruminating at night. And it's bad. Its like I can't stop. It's often about something I have said or done..I'm a bit mouthy, anyway I will worry for hours. Then in the morning it's really no big deal and I can completely see all sides. I need this series. Thank you!
The same thing happens to me. There is something about the night that makes me completely detach from the present and enter this timeless dimension where my whole life, past and future, is put under a microscope.
I've been told I'm an overthinker, and maybe I am. I'm also a constant worrier. I've been like this my whole life, can't help it. I also think I'm ADHD as an adult. I've always had problems paying attention and listening to whatever is being said to me. I have a very hard time understanding things and following through with completing tasks. I am very distracted also. At 70 years old now, I'm still suffering from everything I've typed here, and feel unworthy, depressed and sad.😢
@@benben9101 I think it’s attention deficit hyperactive disorder if I’m not mistaken. I’m just answering a question you asked on a post about over thinking.
You are worthy! Please k ow that your post helped me realize that Im not alone. Look. They even made a youtube video about it so we cant be the only ones. I know...i too wish i could change all of my overthinking, regret, negative assumptions etc off
I can't thank you enough mam🥺🥺🥺🥺. I was struggling to find what is wrong with myself, why i overthink so much. And deep down i needed someone to tell me real information and reasons behind this. You did. God bless you and your family , i wish you healthy and wealthy life. Keep coming up with this type of video and please try to upload upcoming videos on overthinking parts soon🥺🥺☺️☺️☺️
I literally drove myself nuts with this. I have cptsd & GAD, dysthymia too. I went inpatient & got back on a ptsd cocktail of Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin & 2 PRNs in addition to EMDR & talk therapy & I'm feeling better. For me, this was a learned trauma response from childhood. Absolutely maddening. 💯
It’s scary how much of myself I saw in this video. I don’t want to overthink anymore, it’s draining and wastes so much time. I’ve subscribed and look forward to the next video 😊
I only recently became aware that I ruminate. All my life I was convinced that I was not ruminating - I was only analysing my past actions in order to make better choices in the future. Just that the amount of things to improve increases faster than I can improve them. Every psychological phenomenon looks totally different from the outside than from the inside.
I stopped therapy this week as after 6 months they had made little or no impact to my mental health other than me having to discuss all the crap that happened to me. So glad I found this, thank you.
I literally LOLed on number 4. And then, I spent the next 6 hours thinking about all the times I could've done something more productive. Lesson learned.
Jayzus, you've just totally described me. Sometimes my overthinking is so bad I think I'm going to go mad. I thought I was the only person in the world that was such a friggin idiot. Nine months ago I changed jobs to a manager role and my overthinking has just spiralled and is making me so flipping miserable. Thank you for this series, I think I might end up in a nut house if I can't get a grip.
Find help with a terapist. I was like that on my twenties thirties attracted many toxics relationships that made it worse at my fourties I had a nervous break down and with it some health physical and psycologic problems appeared.All my fourties were a spiral down...I am fifty working to manage mind and live a more healthy and happy life. I whish I had known before all that happened. Avoid this road I mistake took, find a therapist and wrok on you mind issues.
I can truly relate to this. I have realized recently that a lot of my overthinking stem from perfectionism. Even if I know that it's ok to make mistakes because most of the time they're not a big deal, there is so much shame and fear in not being "perfect." I'm really looking forward to this series, Emma and hoping I can get tips to work on this struggle.
Thank you for sharing this videos !! It’s helping me heal my depression and much more .. I value you and I love you for doing this … may God bless you for doing this video… 🤗 please keep going, never stop !! You healing many hearts 💕 and brains 🧠 out there !! Counting mine 🙌
I was hit by a car while riding the scooter 2 days ago. I didn't suffer from any major injury, but ever since it happened, I tried to play the scene again and again, it is almost driving me crazy! I found your video very very helpful! Thank you so much for making your videos for free!
Same thing hit by a truck on my motorbike . I have ridden for decades ,Was a Despatch rider in London for many years. did 300 miles a day in town. any accidents I had .or witnessed previously I could learn from .But this one was impossible to avoid because of the drivers actions, 6 inches closer I would be dead or crippled.. i cant come up with a scenario where this couldnt happen again. No way I can avoid an idiot like that === no control. so it keeps presenting itself as a topic of thought.. Riding is a combination of Animal and Cerebral .so It is not surprising a threat/ close call triggers this behaviour. but dont let it stop you riding if you enjoyed it . I am guessing that Emma's videos on Locus of control would be a good place to start to put these experiences into perspective . Learn from it if you can it will make you a better rider. "Ride free"
It’s your brain trying to process it, but may end up retraumatising you or getting out of control and turn into PTSD. I would suggest you nip it in the bud by talking to a professional or trying EMDR.
@@JN-wr9he it also resulted in physical symptoms, like nausea, diarrhea, tachycardia. Spent an entire day in the ER, just so the doctor would tell me in the end that there was nothing wrong with me.
So important to overcome. I think mine comes from a unpredictable violent mother with no empathy, and no protection from my father, only child. I have a subconscious hypervigilance from childhood where I protect myself to avoid “punishment” and “unsafe situations.” It was true then, but now I project my toxic upbringing everywhere I go. Awareness (and of other similar dysfunctions I have) I gained a year ago was most powerful. Now working to break down these compulsions and heal so I don’t keep on replaying trauma responses ❤️🙏 walking out healing with Jesus
Thank you, Emma, you just made me realize why I need an explanation for every minor health issue I’m having. So I consult Dr. Google then spend the day overthinking. I so need to STOP this! 🙏🙏
I worry about everything. You’re absolutely right; I’m trying to control things because I have never felt safe. And I cannot tolerate uncertainty, even though the older I get the more I realize that everything is uncertain. I can’t wait for your next video. Do I see the Chronicles of Narnia behind you? 💕
I am an acute sufferer of overthinking and worrying. I found your channel and the info you provide has helped me a lot - your voice is different from many others and it has a soothing effect on me - thank you so much!
I was addicted to overthinking and it was killing me, most of it wasn’t even true. As soon as I got this, change this habit and learned to let go. Not there yet, but struggling less. Love this thank you 👏❤️🙏🇮🇪
Overthinking is fear based and focuses on things you CAN'T control...eg thinking about what qs will be on the test, and your parents reacting when you fail which leads to catatrophising Productive thinking- makes things more concrete and actionable- write it out the actions, the pros and cons of each behaviour Ask yourself...is the overthinking helping? How much time I'm a spending on it? What am I actually getting out of it? What's the negative side effects of overthinking...sleep, mood, eating.
I thought I would listen for a minute through curiosity and then probably get bored. Or get nothing from it. It’s absolutely spot on. Delivered really well. One of the few rare real understandings of psychology ! Great
I also had a problem with overthinking. If you practice meditation instead of over thinking things. It just takes practice (like most things!). I promise you will find peace and develop a healthy relationship with yourself! MINDFULNESS
I’m now older than the ages in the pie charts and I’ve been a chronic overthinker and worrier since I was a very little kid. I still haven’t shaken it yet. I’m hoping to change my brain.
100% me. My therapist and I are working on my analyzing as an answer to some need - likely my need to control a scenario for a favorable outcome and also just anxiety, ADHD, and perfectionism.
The one element I wish therapists would cover with overthinking is the problem of neurodivergent individuals trying to cope with the neurotypical world. This is the problem I've had with dealing with therapists because they can't understand why I would worry about certain things. I don't understand neurotypical people, so I try to prepare myself for every social situation or make sure no one can misunderstand an email I send because I'm not normal. And I don't want that to impact me professionally. I worry about why someone said something because I don't understand it.
Yes! I second that! Being on the Autism Spectrum seems to be synonymous with constant overthinking! You expressed this so well and every therapist bar one completely overlooked the ways my Autism feeds in to my over thinking. It’s part of our ability to hyperfocus
I'm on the spectrum myself and currently working on moving past the whole overthinking and a fear of judgement.. It's so annoying because there are times where I have a negative social interaction or experience and then my brain won't shut up about blowing it up again and again... Ive done alot of inner work on myself and managed too get anxiety under control with tools I use but experiencing the fear of judgement and overthinking ties in with social anxiety and apparently being on the Spectrum... Far out!! I don't want to live with that unhealthy overthinking etc.. I won't!! I mediate and do breath work too but the overthinking has been bad at times where it creeps in while I'm relaxing! There's got to be a way where I can heal from it as I already have the knowledge and understanding but theres a miscommunication in a wire in my brain somewhere that's trying to resist and stick too the negatives etc... So I'm determined as heck to work on this until I find that beautiful healing and release and then peace will be restored.. 🙏🙏
I used to have terrible panic attacks and the first therapist that I saw when I was in my late 20s gave me this tip and it really works for me. He said that as soon as you start to feel a panic attack coming on, stop and say to yourself, even if it’s out loud, if you can, OK, I’m going to try as hard as I can to panic harder than I’ve ever panicked in my life. I thought he was crazy, but I tried it, and it works! He said the reason we go into a panic attack is because we start feeling anxious and then we start feeling anxious that we’re anxious and it’s the resistance to the anxiety that builds and causes panic. That must be true because it really does work. Sometimes I still have panic attacks because I forget to try that, but every time I try that, I’ve stopped the panic attack. You stop fighting with it. I hope that helps! There’s nothing worse. Well, not much worse. 💕
I feel like I'm overthinking all the time, so I'm really looking forward to your next videos. You have such a nice soothing voice and I also loved how well structured this video was, not a second to fast forward or skip. Thank you)
I can hardly wait to see your next videos!! Thank you so much for this. I am a 56 year old woman, but I am still ruminating too much..... And I love the way you speak. Clear, calm, positive and happy 😄
I work with the public to help people who have lost their jobs to deal with their situation and find new employment. I just met a new client that is 79 years old and unfortunately need to continue to work to supplement her income. She is paralyzed by fear, anxiety and short term memory loss. I have also, just today found your channel and I have to tell you it is a Godsend! You are describing her condition to a tee and your content/strategies ARE going to make a huge difference for her. You content is also helping me to understand her condition and come up with approaches to help her. I cannot not thank you enough.
I am so grateful to have found your channel. I like your T-shirt. My mom bought my husband a T-shirt that had the words: “My Wife Likes to talk things Over & Over & Over & Over; until the words diminished into a microscopic “over” at the bottom of the T-shirt. It was very fitting to me. I am not an overthinking person I'm an over talkative person. You are a great therapist 🩵
Just started to cover this with my therapist yesterday -- she even assigned me homework to find three things to distract me from rumination. The timing of your video series is uncanny! Thank you!
This video helped me. Thank you. I unexpectedly lost my job recently and was going into the overthinking cycle. This video alerted me to focus on finding a new job rather than dwelling on something I don’t control.
I can’t wait next videosss!!! I can not contain myself out of excitement because I was just on this topic.I say thinking comes with solutions on the other hand overthinking comes with new problems
Thank you. I really needed this video! I’m a high functioning autistic, so I keep overthinking my situation and worried I’m misreading everyone else. It’s in my recent position I’m realizing it’s okay to be human, and the importance is that you continue to grow.
Thank you emma! Your videos help me to understand everything. Your voice help me sleep every night. Im getting crazy about this anxiety and panic attack until i find ur vids. God bless you more and your family. Your a savior.❤
Well I'm bookmarking this series. This is my number one psychological issue. I'm pretty sure it's responsible for most of the other troubles I ever end up having (mostly around anxiety in various forms). I have ADHD and my brain is one of the 'always on' type of ADHD brains, versus the 'can't pay attention through the brain fog' type of ADHD brains. Occasionally this is useful, though the amount of struggle it puts me through vastly outweighs the useful parts. In fact, when I was ten years old (I'm forty-one now) and being diagnosed, I told the DMC childrens hospital of michigan people something to the effect of "my brain is a constant flight of things and sometimes they hurt". It definitely will make situations worse. I'll have something happen at home or work and however bad the something is, I'll just constantly run it around and around in my head. I'll invent scenarios based on things that happened in the past or confrontations I think I need to make, and run through every possible scenario down to actual back and forth dialog between myself and other people that hasn't happened. When I go to do chores, I get stuck in these traps especially.
Thank you so so much Emma!! You have no idea how much your videos help me get through these tough times. It’s not easy work, but with your guidance it’s doable. I’m so grateful to you!
I just want to say thank you I just recently discovered your channel and videos and I really felt alone and like I was the only one going through these thoughts and constant battles in my head until now watching these videos gave me hope I can fix myself and do better and that I'm not alone please don't stop what you're doing you really are changing lives even if was just mine I will forever be grateful
I recently had an incident with my boss when he said I was only doing 50%of my work even though my husband had passed away and I was trying to "soldier on". I was so upset about our discussion that I kept replaying it in my mind and felt anxious. It was horrible!
I don't over think like I use to. I realized most of the things I stressed out about worked out to the good. And thinking didn't change or help things. As long as you stay positive things tend to work out for the best.
Thankyou ma'am I have been overthinking for years but no productive of late stopped over thinking and started to yes be myself and enjoy myself , after hearing your talks I started look at the facts.
I have suffered from overthinking for 40 yrs and chronic insomnia, just can't stop. 🙁 I think that analysing a problem is actually easier than applying the solution. 🤔
Thanks Emma for posting. I know it’s alooooot of work but it’s helping so many people including me understand what’s going on with my brain. I can catch myself in a cycle now and reverse my negative busted record stop playing from time to time.
I was so serious in this issue and after I learned about self-compassion and self-reaffirmation, it has helped me a lot. However, it takes a lot of constant practice after increasing your awareness about self-compassion. It is about rebuilding your neural network so that new, healthy neurons can be formed in the brain.
I'm too curious to learn everything. it's a blessing and curse I won't get rid of but I'll learn how to control it. Anyways, just accepting the intrusive and ruminating thinking helps alot!
Same here , bro Instead of spending too much time thinking in a certain object , dedicate some time to listening and watching stuffs about the same object from different sources Let's say you wanna know about psychology (CBT) rather than thinking too much about a lecture you have watched on TH-cam, think a little and go watch another video about the same topic but from a different Doctor That way you make the new information strong in your head without suffering from over thinking and what comes out as a result of it .
Wow oh wow. This one touched me deeply and I’m grateful to see and hear the reasons that I might further process my “stuff.” Tears, tenderness, and insight. Thank you Emma. 🙏🏼💞
My god , Im so glad and hopeful for finding this and watching it today . " It's a habit and not a permanent trait" . " Addicted to reassurence" " Avoiding fear " " control" ... And Im so done with these... hope hope hope . Thanks!
Holy schmoly. This was a video that helped me out quite a bit. I’m determined to make the imperfect choice and not ruminate over my course of actions. Thanks!
Thank you so much Emma for another great video! 💚 I'm excited for this series. I definitely over think too much! I just need to say to myself I am not a cow! Haha
Over-thinking, over-analyzing separates the body from the mind. Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines. Withering my intuition, leaving opportunities behind.
This was FANTASTIC, Emma!!! I shared with a couple other friends who are also in recovery because it was so Spot On, pertinent & helpful! Thanks so much!! Hope you’re feeling good! You do look Great! 🌺 Cheryl R
I overthink constantly. I'm just starting my journey to deal with my abandonment issues. Ruminating is definitely an issue of mine! I really dislike uncertainty!
This had be happening to me with my jobs & the reason why I’ve quite . I’ve overthink about the smallest things , that gets me huge amounts of trouble .
Dear Emma, I love love love your videos and you are one of few my favorite You Tube " psycho therapist ". I have learned a great deal of you all. As for this video I would like to remark that ruminating in my case at least is not voluntary action but compulsion. Intellectually I know that is counterproductive, detrimental and unnecessary but no matter how hard I try not to overthink- I DO OVERTHINK regardless. I am not academic about mental health at all, just speak by 57 years experience and personal battle with various disorders I have. I went through many hours of psychotherapy at various stages of my life, I read hundreds of self help books I love to binge on TH-cam channels and endlessly listen to advise/ teaching from psychotherapists, life coaches, MD, ordinary people who shares their experience of the mental struggle....and all helps and means to me great deal. But I regret to say it, as I am big believer in not taking medication unless it is totally unavoidable, that the only time when I have "peace of mind" of my daily struggles like overthinking, unnecessary worrying, unnecessary feeling anxious, feeling unnecessary overwhelmed, having unnecessary meltdowns, avoiding socialising even with the people I do like, love or appreciate, is when I am on antidepressants. It takes me to the conclusion that all that messy feelings, fears, thoughts and anxiety is CHEMICAL IMBALANCES IN MY BRAIN that neither healthy lifestyle I do try to live as much as I could and all the knowledge and awareness could compete to the little pill which brings magic, takes away anxiety and irrational fear and give me the peace of mind and good quality of life. And makes my persona more likable, less miserable. I wish I haven't said it, but it is the truth in my case !!
Wow. This stuff is powerfull and timely. I had a severe anxiety episode at work a little over a week ago. And just yesterday a pulmonary embolism was found. Rumination is my middle name
Great information and explanation, thank you very much! Looking forward to the strategies video. "Overthinking is unproductive" "Overthinking is not who you are, is a habit you learned...You can learn the skills to stop overthinking and when you practice them, you can change your brain." "Overthinking focuses on the negative. It's fear based." One of my favorite scriptures says "So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles." (Mat 6:34) I like to remember this scripture whenever I start overthinking about something that hasn't happened yet and might never even happened.
Overthinking = a false sense of control (believing that analyzing is controlling) this hits the core of perfectionism
Oh big words, but I'm somewhat understanding you.
I must analyze. It's soo terrible.
True
Man I so understand this. It’s like a constant hyper awareness of everything. And if there is nothing to think about your mind is uncomfortable with peace so it finds something to worry about.
in my view, i would call it hyper vigilance rather than hyper awareness, since awareness has a connotation of seeing something clearly, where hyper vigilance has anxiety to it. ;)
Same. I do it out loud around people. Especially my kids. I hate that about myself. So does my husband 😒
This wtf. Why is it so hard to be in the present moment??
@@Fire-Toolz I agree on the semantic point you raise. I tie in Emma's work with Polyvagal Theory. Since learning about the states of vagus arousal and retention of trauma in the body, I interpreted my own 'condition' as no longer being an 'anxious person', but having learned to retain fight-or-flight/freeze from day-to-day as protection against experiencing further traumatic events I'd suffered as a child.
Now I know this hyper-vigilance is an unnatural state to be continually in.
What I wonder is, why, in what is generally considered an extremely beneficent era to exist in, so many people need drugs (prescribed and 'recreational'), supplements, myriad alternative therapies in order to cope with contemporary life. It's also interesting to me that the most investigation into anxiety/depression and the concomitant data is almost totally American in origin - the most prosperous large country in production of wealth per capita in the world. I've never seen output of the same nature and extent from Switzerland or the Scandinavian countries. We, in the largely industrial and business-oriented (i.e. wealth and high living standard generating) countries seem to have yoked a mass of neuroses around our shoulders. No governments seem to be moved to ask why so it's a societal problem we're largely being left to deal with as individuals.
This comment RESONATES with me!
Signs of overthinking
1)can’t sleep easily
2)decision making problems
3)re-create past events
4)ask questions like what if or why me
5)make negative assumptions
How the hell does this stop 🥹
"Confident people are more willing to make imperfect choices."
"Self reflection leads to action, rumination leads to stagnation."
I do all of these. I think it comes from people-pleasing and social anxiety.
Me too
Yes Norse I do this all the time
@@Demy1970 ask emma to replie back
Same here it’s been effecting my job lately since I don’t say anything to anyone when they walked away
Me three
Overthinking should be my last name-it’s what was taught in my house growing up. It’s so comforting to know it can be unlearned! This is great. Thanks Emma!
You could look into the Flow Philosophy th-cam.com/video/JtGtqmC5wU4/w-d-xo.html
Alternatively, in popular culture, the movie The Big Lebowski is about a person who lives life so chill that he never worries about anything and accepts anything and everything that life throws at him, which is pretty intense, but he remains calm and "chill" through most of it. It's not about a person with mental / emotional superpowers, it is about a "loser" who smokes weed and "doesn't care". The movie spawned an internet cult movement called Dudeism in which everyone just chills and keeps ambitions at a minimum. Society likes to call these people "unambitious losers" but they have a great life skill - of being able to turn off their brains about any worrisome future event.
The short version of all this is to let the universe control your life and you just go with the flow doing only what is necessary for you to do to fit in the plans of the universe for you. For example, if you need to live till 70, you need to eat well and that means you actually have to find food and eat it. So you do that. But you let the universe worry about where the food will come from - because the universe wants you to live till 70, not you, so push the responsibility of finding the food source onto the universe. This attitude sounds very lazy or very eccentric, but works as a solid miraculous antidote to anxiety and overthinking. Try it out first in small things in life, then maybe after a year or two of practising, in bigger things. As a bonus you find that destiny is a real thing, and so we don't really need to worry that much about anything.
I can relate to this.
Why were you taught to do that growing up?
Man I remember being confident when I was a teen and being willing to roll with imperfect decisions while knowing my decisions would come with unpredicted things that would go wrong, but I strode on and did stuff anyway. I'd do anything to go back to being like that again, as an adult. Spending my adulthood in decision paralysis, overthinking, and basically wasting years away in depression sucks!
I agree with you! I wonder how I was able to do that as a teen, but I was. I’ve wasted so many years in depression and indecision as well. It makes me sick to think of it. Maybe we should all pretend we’re teenagers again. Take care. 💕
You and I have had the same life.
same I used to be so confident, clinical depression and trauma changed my brain chemistry
This is SOOO ME!! I overthink and Ruminate about Everything and I am Exhausted!!!
What are some things you’ve done to help with that ?
I just crossed off all seven. The issue is that I've been doing this since I've been a child. I would love to stop. Can't wait for the next videos
Finally someone gets it! Rumination is a positive feedback loop with my depression and anxiety- each feeds the other in an attempt to offer some sense of stability and control when I feel physically bad, but it ends up just feeding the depressive episode instead.
Exactly. You end up in the place you’re trying to avoid. It’s definitely a loop. And so difficult to break. Good luck to you.
Your videos make me feel instantly calmer. They’re straightforward. They make me realize I’m spiralling in my thoughts and I can get a grip when I realize that I’m being foolish with my thoughts.
Same!!!!
It’s not foolish. Remember to accept it. I think it will help you get over it easier
“ruminant-like a cow” is how I always explain it to people too :)
Every time my one friend calls me when I’m not expecting it I ask him if it’s something bad lol. 99% of the time people don’t call me so it does kinda freak me out.
Looking forward to the series but I wanted to share-Something that really helped me was the concept of “worry time.” You schedule a certain time to worry as much as you want and the rest of the time you’re like “that’s not what we’re doing right now.” In practice for me it’s like an hour of super negative journal thoughts and then after it’s purged I have to try to be more reasonable. I haven’t needed to do it as often since I started self-compassion and lovingkindness meditation though.
Good for you! I need to do that.
Schedule worry time: I think I might try this. Thanks 👍
Same!!!!! Especially when my older kids do it. First thing I think is, something is wrong smh
I'm a Premenopausal woman who recently in the last year or so has started ruminating at night. And it's bad. Its like I can't stop. It's often about something I have said or done..I'm a bit mouthy, anyway I will worry for hours. Then in the morning it's really no big deal and I can completely see all sides. I need this series. Thank you!
The same thing happens to me. There is something about the night that makes me completely detach from the present and enter this timeless dimension where my whole life, past and future, is put under a microscope.
I'm 66 years old and I still over think..this video helps a lot..ty I'm ready for the next 5..
I've been told I'm an overthinker, and maybe I am. I'm also a constant worrier. I've been like this my whole life, can't help it. I also think I'm ADHD as an adult. I've always had problems paying attention and listening to whatever is being said to me. I have a very hard time understanding things and following through with completing tasks. I am very distracted also. At 70 years old now, I'm still suffering from everything I've typed here, and feel unworthy, depressed and sad.😢
What is ADHD
@@benben9101 I think it’s attention deficit hyperactive disorder if I’m not mistaken. I’m just answering a question you asked on a post about over thinking.
You are worthy! Please k ow that your post helped me realize that Im not alone. Look. They even made a youtube video about it so we cant be the only ones. I know...i too wish i could change all of my overthinking, regret, negative assumptions etc off
I can't thank you enough mam🥺🥺🥺🥺. I was struggling to find what is wrong with myself, why i overthink so much. And deep down i needed someone to tell me real information and reasons behind this. You did. God bless you and your family , i wish you healthy and wealthy life. Keep coming up with this type of video and please try to upload upcoming videos on overthinking parts soon🥺🥺☺️☺️☺️
yes asap. thank you
I don't like uncertainties. It's important to me have control so I can get assurance over my comfort.
I literally drove myself nuts with this. I have cptsd & GAD, dysthymia too. I went inpatient & got back on a ptsd cocktail of Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin & 2 PRNs in addition to EMDR & talk therapy & I'm feeling better. For me, this was a learned trauma response from childhood. Absolutely maddening. 💯
It’s scary how much of myself I saw in this video. I don’t want to overthink anymore, it’s draining and wastes so much time. I’ve subscribed and look forward to the next video 😊
Great that you have made the firm decision. Saying I dont want to overthibk any more is the first powerful step to success. 😊
@@PaulTavaresEmpowerment Aww, thank you! I've improved a lot since writing this comment and feel so much better for it!
I only recently became aware that I ruminate. All my life I was convinced that I was not ruminating - I was only analysing my past actions in order to make better choices in the future. Just that the amount of things to improve increases faster than I can improve them.
Every psychological phenomenon looks totally different from the outside than from the inside.
I stopped therapy this week as after 6 months they had made little or no impact to my mental health other than me having to discuss all the crap that happened to me.
So glad I found this, thank you.
Sometimes self therapy can be far better. Sometimes, we are the best people for the job. 😊
Really like your way of communicating. It is positive, constructive, sound “advice”. Thanks for helping us think!
I literally LOLed on number 4. And then, I spent the next 6 hours thinking about all the times I could've done something more productive. Lesson learned.
Jayzus, you've just totally described me. Sometimes my overthinking is so bad I think I'm going to go mad. I thought I was the only person in the world that was such a friggin idiot. Nine months ago I changed jobs to a manager role and my overthinking has just spiralled and is making me so flipping miserable. Thank you for this series, I think I might end up in a nut house if I can't get a grip.
Just tell me which nuthouse you’re going to and I’ll join you there so I’ll have someone to talk to. 😊
@@whitebirchtarot Thanks it would be nice to have someone to spiral with 😏
Find help with a terapist. I was like that on my twenties thirties attracted many toxics relationships that made it worse at my fourties I had a nervous break down and with it some health physical and psycologic problems appeared.All my fourties were a spiral down...I am fifty working to manage mind and live a more healthy and happy life. I whish I had known before all that happened. Avoid this road I mistake took, find a therapist and wrok on you mind issues.
@@byDora Thank you for your encouraging words. My problems have worsened as I've got older, I'm really hoping this series will help.
youre definitely not alone
I can truly relate to this. I have realized recently that a lot of my overthinking stem from perfectionism. Even if I know that it's ok to make mistakes because most of the time they're not a big deal, there is so much shame and fear in not being "perfect." I'm really looking forward to this series, Emma and hoping I can get tips to work on this struggle.
Hi Emma,
THANK YOU! You are a GIFT. If all therapists would be more like you, patients would make so much progress so much quicker.
Thank you for sharing this videos !! It’s helping me heal my depression and much more .. I value you and I love you for doing this … may God bless you for doing this video… 🤗 please keep going, never stop !! You healing many hearts 💕 and brains 🧠 out there !! Counting mine 🙌
Thanks Liz! Sending love and light!
I was hit by a car while riding the scooter 2 days ago. I didn't suffer from any major injury, but ever since it happened, I tried to play the scene again and again, it is almost driving me crazy! I found your video very very helpful! Thank you so much for making your videos for free!
Same thing hit by a truck on my motorbike . I have ridden for decades ,Was a Despatch rider in London for many years. did 300 miles a day in town. any accidents I had .or witnessed previously I could learn from .But this one was impossible to avoid because of the drivers actions, 6 inches closer I would be dead or crippled.. i cant come up with a scenario where this couldnt happen again. No way I can avoid an idiot like that === no control. so it keeps presenting itself as a topic of thought.. Riding is a combination of Animal and Cerebral .so It is not surprising a threat/ close call triggers this behaviour. but dont let it stop you riding if you enjoyed it . I am guessing that Emma's videos on Locus of control would be a good place to start to put these experiences into perspective . Learn from it if you can it will make you a better rider. "Ride free"
@@anthonyturton8091 thank you so much for the advice Anthony. I'll definitely watch those videos!
It’s your brain trying to process it, but may end up retraumatising you or getting out of control and turn into PTSD. I would suggest you nip it in the bud by talking to a professional or trying EMDR.
@@JN-wr9he it also resulted in physical symptoms, like nausea, diarrhea, tachycardia. Spent an entire day in the ER, just so the doctor would tell me in the end that there was nothing wrong with me.
This is my therapy.....her voice... how clear she is...relaxing
So important to overcome. I think mine comes from a unpredictable violent mother with no empathy, and no protection from my father, only child. I have a subconscious hypervigilance from childhood where I protect myself to avoid “punishment” and “unsafe situations.” It was true then, but now I project my toxic upbringing everywhere I go. Awareness (and of other similar dysfunctions I have) I gained a year ago was most powerful. Now working to break down these compulsions and heal so I don’t keep on replaying trauma responses ❤️🙏 walking out healing with Jesus
@youtubeee thank you so much! You as well ❤️🙏
Can't wait for learning the skills to avoid overthinking. Thank you so much for the video 🙏
Lack of money is the reason for my mental health issues. These videos definitely help me better than my own therapist.
Thank you, Emma, you just made me realize why I need an explanation for every minor health issue I’m having. So I consult Dr. Google then spend the day overthinking. I so need to STOP this! 🙏🙏
I think about a situation that happened in 1997 that I regret. I can't wait for the rest of this series. Thank you.
Must have been a big one. Sorry :(
Wow you described me lately. Actually made me cry…It’s exhausting and I can never get my heart to stop beating so fast when I experience this. 😞
I worry about everything. You’re absolutely right; I’m trying to control things because I have never felt safe. And I cannot tolerate uncertainty, even though the older I get the more I realize that everything is uncertain. I can’t wait for your next video. Do I see the Chronicles of Narnia behind you? 💕
Well said
I am an acute sufferer of overthinking and worrying. I found your channel and the info you provide has helped me a lot - your voice is different from many others and it has a soothing effect on me - thank you so much!
I was addicted to overthinking and it was killing me, most of it wasn’t even true. As soon as I got this, change this habit and learned to let go. Not there yet, but struggling less. Love this thank you 👏❤️🙏🇮🇪
Overthinking is fear based and focuses on things you CAN'T control...eg thinking about what qs will be on the test, and your parents reacting when you fail which leads to catatrophising
Productive thinking- makes things more concrete and actionable- write it out the actions, the pros and cons of each behaviour
Ask yourself...is the overthinking helping? How much time I'm a spending on it? What am I actually getting out of it? What's the negative side effects of overthinking...sleep, mood, eating.
I thought I would listen for a minute through curiosity and then probably get bored. Or get nothing from it. It’s absolutely spot on. Delivered really well. One of the few rare real understandings of psychology ! Great
I wish I could have “liked” this video so much more. Very valuable.
I also had a problem with overthinking. If you practice meditation instead of over thinking things. It just takes practice (like most things!). I promise you will find peace and develop a healthy relationship with yourself! MINDFULNESS
I’m now older than the ages in the pie charts and I’ve been a chronic overthinker and worrier since I was a very little kid. I still haven’t shaken it yet. I’m hoping to change my brain.
Emma, I recently discovered overthink and this vid came up 2 weeks later. This series will change my trajectory in life. Thank you
Like many, over thinking almost destroyed me. Went from an A student to a C student.
100% me. My therapist and I are working on my analyzing as an answer to some need - likely my need to control a scenario for a favorable outcome and also just anxiety, ADHD, and perfectionism.
The one element I wish therapists would cover with overthinking is the problem of neurodivergent individuals trying to cope with the neurotypical world. This is the problem I've had with dealing with therapists because they can't understand why I would worry about certain things. I don't understand neurotypical people, so I try to prepare myself for every social situation or make sure no one can misunderstand an email I send because I'm not normal. And I don't want that to impact me professionally. I worry about why someone said something because I don't understand it.
Yes! I second that! Being on the Autism Spectrum seems to be synonymous with constant overthinking! You expressed this so well and every therapist bar one completely overlooked the ways my Autism feeds in to my over thinking. It’s part of our ability to hyperfocus
I'm on the spectrum myself and currently working on moving past the whole overthinking and a fear of judgement.. It's so annoying because there are times where I have a negative social interaction or experience and then my brain won't shut up about blowing it up again and again... Ive done alot of inner work on myself and managed too get anxiety under control with tools I use but experiencing the fear of judgement and overthinking ties in with social anxiety and apparently being on the Spectrum... Far out!! I don't want to live with that unhealthy overthinking etc.. I won't!! I mediate and do breath work too but the overthinking has been bad at times where it creeps in while I'm relaxing! There's got to be a way where I can heal from it as I already have the knowledge and understanding but theres a miscommunication in a wire in my brain somewhere that's trying to resist and stick too the negatives etc... So I'm determined as heck to work on this until I find that beautiful healing and release and then peace will be restored.. 🙏🙏
I feel like you saved my life. No joke! Thank you so much for spending your time helping people like me. It’s beautiful…
Emma you're glowing! Thank you for all these great vids. I'm struggling w daily panic attacks. Your vids are helpful.
Hi Heather, I'm glad the videos are helping! keep learning!
Same here,such uncomportable feelings..😔😔😔
How long does ur pnic attack stay??? My last went on for 12 hours
I used to have terrible panic attacks and the first therapist that I saw when I was in my late 20s gave me this tip and it really works for me. He said that as soon as you start to feel a panic attack coming on, stop and say to yourself, even if it’s out loud, if you can, OK, I’m going to try as hard as I can to panic harder than I’ve ever panicked in my life. I thought he was crazy, but I tried it, and it works! He said the reason we go into a panic attack is because we start feeling anxious and then we start feeling anxious that we’re anxious and it’s the resistance to the anxiety that builds and causes panic. That must be true because it really does work. Sometimes I still have panic attacks because I forget to try that, but every time I try that, I’ve stopped the panic attack. You stop fighting with it. I hope that helps! There’s nothing worse. Well, not much worse. 💕
Yeah❤ she's beautiful without makeup as well.
I'm 66 and still have a problem with rumination. Thanks so much. This video is remarkably helpful.
I feel like I'm overthinking all the time, so I'm really looking forward to your next videos. You have such a nice soothing voice and I also loved how well structured this video was, not a second to fast forward or skip. Thank you)
I can hardly wait to see your next videos!! Thank you so much for this. I am a 56 year old woman, but I am still ruminating too much..... And I love the way you speak. Clear, calm, positive and happy 😄
I work with the public to help people who have lost their jobs to deal with their situation and find new employment. I just met a new client that is 79 years old and unfortunately need to continue to work to supplement her income. She is paralyzed by fear, anxiety and short term memory loss. I have also, just today found your channel and I have to tell you it is a Godsend! You are describing her condition to a tee and your content/strategies ARE going to make a huge difference for her. You content is also helping me to understand her condition and come up with approaches to help her. I cannot not thank you enough.
I am so grateful to have found your channel.
I like your T-shirt.
My mom bought my husband a T-shirt that had the words:
“My Wife Likes to talk things Over & Over & Over & Over; until the words diminished into a microscopic “over” at the bottom of the T-shirt. It was very fitting to me. I am not an overthinking person I'm an over talkative person.
You are a great therapist 🩵
Just started to cover this with my therapist yesterday -- she even assigned me homework to find three things to distract me from rumination. The timing of your video series is uncanny! Thank you!
This video helped me. Thank you. I unexpectedly lost my job recently and was going into the overthinking cycle. This video alerted me to focus on finding a new job rather than dwelling on something I don’t control.
I can’t wait next videosss!!! I can not contain myself out of excitement because I was just on this topic.I say thinking comes with solutions on the other hand overthinking comes with new problems
Thank you. I really needed this video! I’m a high functioning autistic, so I keep overthinking my situation and worried I’m misreading everyone else. It’s in my recent position I’m realizing it’s okay to be human, and the importance is that you continue to grow.
Thank you for sharing that Michael...I'm an Aspie, and actually used to apologize to God for being human. Sigh. Learning...and Emma helps ☺️
Thank you emma! Your videos help me to understand everything. Your voice help me sleep every night. Im getting crazy about this anxiety and panic attack until i find ur vids. God bless you more and your family. Your a savior.❤
Well I'm bookmarking this series. This is my number one psychological issue. I'm pretty sure it's responsible for most of the other troubles I ever end up having (mostly around anxiety in various forms). I have ADHD and my brain is one of the 'always on' type of ADHD brains, versus the 'can't pay attention through the brain fog' type of ADHD brains. Occasionally this is useful, though the amount of struggle it puts me through vastly outweighs the useful parts. In fact, when I was ten years old (I'm forty-one now) and being diagnosed, I told the DMC childrens hospital of michigan people something to the effect of "my brain is a constant flight of things and sometimes they hurt". It definitely will make situations worse. I'll have something happen at home or work and however bad the something is, I'll just constantly run it around and around in my head. I'll invent scenarios based on things that happened in the past or confrontations I think I need to make, and run through every possible scenario down to actual back and forth dialog between myself and other people that hasn't happened. When I go to do chores, I get stuck in these traps especially.
Just wanted to say thank you, Emma. I always get so much out of your videos. I can't wait to watch this series!
Thanks Jason! Glad they're helpful!
Thank you so so much Emma!! You have no idea how much your videos help me get through these tough times. It’s not easy work, but with your guidance it’s doable. I’m so grateful to you!
I thank to God and Universe for your birth🙏🍀 Best channel on therapy ❤ Thank youu for your help❤
I just want to say thank you I just recently discovered your channel and videos and I really felt alone and like I was the only one going through these thoughts and constant battles in my head until now watching these videos gave me hope I can fix myself and do better and that I'm not alone please don't stop what you're doing you really are changing lives even if was just mine I will forever be grateful
Absolutely 100% nailed it. I can relate to all of this.
I recently had an incident with my boss when he said I was only doing 50%of my work even though my husband had passed away and I was trying to "soldier on". I was so upset about our discussion that I kept replaying it in my mind and felt anxious. It was horrible!
What an insensitive cad
That's absolutely awful, I'm sorry you went through that and you definitely deserve better (as anyone would).
Looking forward to this series! This gave me so much hope. Thank you ❤️
I don't over think like I use to. I realized most of the things I stressed out about worked out to the good. And thinking didn't change or help things. As long as you stay positive things tend to work out for the best.
Thankyou ma'am I have been overthinking for years but no productive of late stopped over thinking and started to yes be myself and enjoy myself , after hearing your talks I started look at the facts.
Emma is soooooo good,,,explaining,,examples ,,COMFORTING!!!!!, Thank-you.
Yup. Overthinking definitely is part of my anxiety & indecision!
Almost half the year I’ve been struggling with this already. It feels great getting an explanation for this behavior.
I have suffered from overthinking for 40 yrs and chronic insomnia, just can't stop. 🙁 I think that analysing a problem is actually easier than applying the solution. 🤔
Thanks Emma for posting. I know it’s alooooot of work but it’s helping so many people including me understand what’s going on with my brain. I can catch myself in a cycle now and reverse my negative busted record stop playing from time to time.
I was so serious in this issue and after I learned about self-compassion and self-reaffirmation, it has helped me a lot. However, it takes a lot of constant practice after increasing your awareness about self-compassion. It is about rebuilding your neural network so that new, healthy neurons can be formed in the brain.
how
Yes!! I'm with you!! It truly is a practice!
Thank you!.. I so much needed to hear this. I overthink everything. It is so debilitating.
I'm too curious to learn everything. it's a blessing and curse I won't get rid of but I'll learn how to control it. Anyways, just accepting the intrusive and ruminating thinking helps alot!
Same here , bro
Instead of spending too much time thinking in a certain object , dedicate some time to listening and watching stuffs about the same object from different sources
Let's say you wanna know about psychology (CBT)
rather than thinking too much about a lecture you have watched on TH-cam, think a little and go watch another video about the same topic but from a different Doctor
That way you make the new information strong in your head without suffering from over thinking and what comes out as a result of it .
@@XYZZ2112 Interesting. I've heard something about that before but forgot. Thank you!
Sums me up quite nicely at the moment.
Wow oh wow. This one touched me deeply and I’m grateful to see and hear the reasons that I might further process my “stuff.” Tears, tenderness, and insight. Thank you Emma. 🙏🏼💞
My god , Im so glad and hopeful for finding this and watching it today . " It's a habit and not a permanent trait" . " Addicted to reassurence"
" Avoiding fear " " control" ... And Im so done with these... hope hope hope . Thanks!
Holy schmoly. This was a video that helped me out quite a bit. I’m determined to make the imperfect choice and not ruminate over my course of actions. Thanks!
I am definitely an Overthinker. 😐. Thank you for this very helpful information Emma.
This couldn't have appeared in my feed at a better time. Thank you!
Thank you so much Emma for another great video! 💚 I'm excited for this series. I definitely over think too much! I just need to say to myself I am not a cow! Haha
Over-thinking, over-analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.
Withering my intuition, leaving opportunities behind.
This was FANTASTIC, Emma!!! I shared with a couple other friends who are also in recovery because it was so Spot On, pertinent & helpful! Thanks so much!! Hope you’re feeling good! You do look Great! 🌺 Cheryl R
I overthink constantly. I'm just starting my journey to deal with my abandonment issues. Ruminating is definitely an issue of mine! I really dislike uncertainty!
This was me, but with learning that my thoughts aren't realiity , studied mindfulness, and lots of research have made it go away
I just did this today. Are you watching me at work and telling my supervisor all my mistakes?
With health anxiety....its literally consuming. This video was so helpful. Thank you 🙏
This had be happening to me with my jobs & the reason why I’ve quite . I’ve overthink about the smallest things , that gets me huge amounts of trouble .
Your videos are so helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to record them. ❤️
Dear Emma, I love love love your videos and you are one of few my favorite You Tube " psycho therapist ". I have learned a great deal of you all.
As for this video I would like to remark that ruminating in my case at least is not voluntary action but compulsion.
Intellectually I know that is counterproductive, detrimental and unnecessary but no matter how hard I try not to overthink- I DO OVERTHINK regardless.
I am not academic about mental health at all, just speak by 57 years experience and personal battle with various disorders I have.
I went through many hours of psychotherapy at various stages of my life, I read hundreds of self help books I love to binge on TH-cam channels and endlessly listen to advise/ teaching from psychotherapists, life coaches, MD, ordinary people who shares their experience of the mental struggle....and all helps and means to me great deal. But I regret to say it, as I am big believer in not taking medication unless it is totally unavoidable, that the only time when I have "peace of mind" of my daily struggles like overthinking, unnecessary worrying, unnecessary feeling anxious, feeling unnecessary overwhelmed, having unnecessary meltdowns, avoiding socialising even with the people I do like, love or appreciate, is when I am on antidepressants.
It takes me to the conclusion that all that messy feelings, fears, thoughts and anxiety is CHEMICAL IMBALANCES IN MY BRAIN that neither healthy lifestyle I do try to live as much as I could and all the knowledge and awareness could compete to the little pill which brings magic, takes away anxiety and irrational fear and give me the peace of mind and good quality of life. And makes my persona more likable, less miserable.
I wish I haven't said it, but it is the truth in my case !!
Wow. This stuff is powerfull and timely. I had a severe anxiety episode at work a little over a week ago. And just yesterday a pulmonary embolism was found. Rumination is my middle name
Great information and explanation, thank you very much! Looking forward to the strategies video. "Overthinking is unproductive" "Overthinking is not who you are, is a habit you learned...You can learn the skills to stop overthinking and when you practice them, you can change your brain." "Overthinking focuses on the negative. It's fear based." One of my favorite scriptures says "So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles." (Mat 6:34) I like to remember this scripture whenever I start overthinking about something that hasn't happened yet and might never even happened.
What a God given gift you have! Thanks for sharing this gift with us!
I love that you mentions the statistics of age groups - I would love to talk to you about the coming generations
Thank you for these videos. I have been in therapy multiple times but I have sadly never gotten this kind of mental help for overthinking until now.
This is so astronomically important for me right now. Especially being in eating disorder recovery.
This is my life in a nutshell, so to speak. I look forward to the solutions. I am so weary of my ruminating mind.