I've always hated how it was just fine and accepted that a girl can dress like a boy and be a Tomboy but oh Lord forbid a boy play with a doll or want to try nail polish or wear a dress....I'm the mom of a 21 and 17 year old
Toni McMurphy non binary isn’t transgendered. Trans people actually disprove nonbinaries as they TRANSITION to one gender to another rather than just making up a gender and trying to change social norms
I really like the statement "finding your most authentic self." I believe that that's what it all boils down to. you shouldn't feel forced to change who you are for others. As long as you are kind to others, looks shouldn't matter. Our outside appearance should be a fun thing, not something where we feel our innermost worth is dependent upon. I'm biologically a woman and I choose not to wear makeup. I feel happy like this, but I also feel the pressure of thinking the world around me sees me as unattractive. There are other things I would like to do, such as not shave, but I don't have the courage to. It'd be nice to live in a world where you can feel at peace to be how you want.
What would a child on a non binary person call their parent? Also why do we all insist on using gender defining pronouns I’m sure life would be more straightforward if we quite using terms like he/she and mr and Mrs/miss
It was extremely inspiring to hear a TED talk about this, and so well-said! I've been questioning my own gender for a while now, and it's just very wonderful to know that I really am not alone. Keep doing awesome things and inspiring people to be authentic.
coldlasagne they already do, people are confused, fighting over ideals and ideas and we are all unaware of the messages of warning from other countries saying America is on the brink of WW3. But we dare about gender stereotypes.....no wonder they all don't care if we burn alive
Why? Put any thought into the overall short or long term impacts a subjective abstract concept such as the premise puts forth may have on the adolesents mind, or for that matter a childs mind. What's the net gain to society, does it have any negitive consequences. On the balance of probabilities with the use of common sense one would suggest putting such a premise in the minds of children, you will get some similar to the plecebo affect, that express feelings they don't necessarily have or wouldm't have had. With no long term studies with any degree of accuracy, and no, any statisics they've collected so far will be discarded on the grounds of bias to push an agenda, plus the left lie. For an issue that affects a miniscule percentage of population, it's not an issue any sane rational reasoned person would allow in schools, and they won't be. It's a loopy progressive cultural Marxist leftist social engineering program that even cat can see is nuts. Short sighted narrow minded emotive group thinkers that act on the whim of thought bubbles shouldn't be anywhere near kids.
Non-binary or gender-fluid are the two chosen gender tags I claimed in 1000s of small decisions I made for myself growing up. Along with those 1000s of little choices are the 1000s of misconceptions that not only my family and friends made about me but total strangers with random encounters that they do not remember doing. I am sure the person who called me sir when I was 18 and working at Ross doesn't remember me turning around and them stumbling over their words like I psychically tripped them by just turning around because I was wearing a white dress shirt, pinstriped pants with suspenders but I do. Or even the time in the frozen food section at the supermarket being called sir again for what seemed like the 1000th time. Or being teased by my cousins because I rather play in mud with my barbies and GI joes, or climbing as high as I possibly could climb in the trees around our houses. I remember because those mixed matched choices I made as Ive grown up like a child filling a bag of mixed up candies at a candy store, are important to me. We as a society needs to broaden our definition of gender or even break it and start anew is very needed,
michelle benz Please don't refer to Nonbinary people as she/hers/her or h/him/his unless they say they prefer it. Please use they/them/their pronouns instead.
Hannah Rose Good thing to keep in mind, but if you watched the video where Ashley answers the gender tag questions then you know she/her/hers is her preferred one.
I DO think this is one of the best videos I've ever watched, if not the best. This video tells us the reality of the world, that is not about just two genders, but that is about variety and differences in every single human. Not everyone can fit society standards, maybe because they are more than those boxes or maybe just because they are different, but that is not the point. The point is that everyone has its beauty in his/her/its uniqueness.
Sorry but it is about two genders and you are born with one of them. Now if you choose to be more masculine or more feminine is your perogative but we will continue to identify you with your biological gender as we have done all our lives.
Taking a class and my quest is what is Gender expression? I feel it is being the real you , “ the unapologetic you “, putting all norms aside , what do you feel you are? , after this it’s how you go about living your own life ... how you look, dress, act, non verbal and verbal language,, Only 2 ways to experience gender ? Each person has their own journey through gender and how they express it Gracias ☺️
So powerful. This video really helped me break down the thoughts I've had swirling in my brain for a long time and am now just starting to sort through for myself. Well done, and thank you!
This is an incredible movement This is a big step, an enormous advace... But we need it so much This is wonderful This is revolution I just want to tell you: Thanks Ashley I've been watching your videos from many years ago, and yes.. you've taught me a lot, so from Spain: THANK YOU
It's greatest croc of shit I think I can safely say the regressive has vomited up yet, it's not even a step let alone award it a size, it's not an advancement of anything other assigning the left to political irrelevance which is an advancement I suppose, yep agreed this is wonderful.
This is an excellent talk!! I have felt the burden of what society says about what a woman is, what is feminine, and this is very thoughtful and freeing ❤
I've followed ashley on social media for almost two years now! and I couldn't be prouder to see them succeed and use their knowledge to educate and make the world a better place! Thanks ashley for all that you do! :)
I doubt you're going to read this but thank you so much Ashly! You helped me learn about myself and taught me that it's ok to still be learning about yourself.
Great talk. How very true, non-binary. Having Two Spirits. We have both masculine & feminine. I think it would be most logical and normal to be both at different times depending on the circumstance. Masculine to protect, feminine to nurture. All I know is I am not heterosexual. We need to teach, talk and engage this subject to people 14/15 years old. It will make a huge difference to the happiness of mankind. one must know theses things to be authentic. we can not be our best if we are not authentic. Binary Sexual Identity is not only limiting, dividing but simply illogical
kreaturen they can be used to describe one person who’s gender is unknown. It’s in many works of literature throughout the years and is in the dictionary as well. The best example of how we regularly and naturally use singular they would be “Someone left their bag on the table.” :)
I love the topic. Very intelligent, well thought through and articulate. I am wondering how many of the people in your project are over 50, over 60, over 70 etc. Many of us have struggled with gender for decades, mostly in fighting the norms and pressures from others. It is from this struggle and the daring of many that the acceptance of gender differences has come so radically far.
I've been watching your videos for a few years now and it's truly amazing to see how much you've grown and see what you've accomplished. Utterly inspiring!
If anyone's wondering, some of the words in that list actually mean the same thing. People use different terms depending on what generation they're from or how they discovered what they are (in a book/someone explaining to them/the internet/a psychologist etc.)
Amazing message. I just want to tell everyone that you are beautiful in every way! Stay true to who you are, and keep lifting the world up with positivity! I wish people would expand their minds more, and encourage one another, but always stay true to you despite them. ✌🏼
This was one great talk which align so well with my thoughts.I am from India I just want to add a correction the community name that Ashley mentioned as 'Hidra' is actually 'Hijra'.
Years ago I had a friend make me up as a woman for Halloween. I was working in a truck stop. Got hit on by a truck driver. I remember crying as I removed my makeup at the end of the day. A week later the manager asked me to go my mustache back.
Great presentation! Despite having fundamental disagreements with her, I found this to be engaging and informative, unlike most of the talks/discussions on this topic at large. Why this stands out, I feel, is because she does not give off a superiority vibe during the talk and asks the audience to decide for themselves rather than preach!
I know it is weird to claim this considering we have never met, but I want to hug you. I think you're wonderful and so so smart. Would to have coffee or a glass of wine with you.
I had no idea that Ashley did one of these talks! Omg! She obviously has a talent for speaking in front of people. :) I think I've watched almost all of those gender tag videos featured. I'm still trying to figure my own out, tbh. All I have currently is not cis, wants top surgery, and doubt I'll ever want T because singing is one of the most important things in my life. I'm very glad my tag is not in this video. That'd be terrifying. lol
To me gender is a way of identifying each other on the outside... I’m a straight female so I would go for a straight male, I feel like that’s important to me and most in society. Everyone seems to have their own preferences of type of people so therefore I defo would not say it’s something that you learn environmentally as I have an ideal type of person which is not like my friends types.
FINALLY, a gender expression talk that makes sense to me. Finally, someone who brings in different cultures. There are so many other things that could have been added, if given time. For example, the third pronoun, "hen" in Swedish...no it does not mean a female. Sometimes I wonder how much of my gender expression is a result of way I saw my Mom treated and how I subconsciously wanted to avoid that. My Mom was hot. She was a shrimp, but a hot shrimp. And yet, this did not help her in life. She was physically attacked because of her gender. She would not stand up for herself. I did not want to be like that. I loved her, and she was the most beautiful woman in the world; but I was never going to match my purse to my shoes.
I answered these questions on my blog :) And also translated the questions and my answers in Finnish, because that's my mother tongue and that's the language I usually use when writing my blog. This video is awesome. I think I'll use it once I come out. I'm queer. But I'm not out yet. No one I know IRL reads my blog nor the comments I write on TH-cam. And if someone does and the truth about my gender comes out to the people I know, I don't care, it'd actually be better. I'd love it I wouldn't have to come out...
Some more things: just watching the bit where you talk about the characteristics society assigns to "man" vs "woman" and how that made you question yourself. I can understand how it could leave you feeling disorientated and confused and having been for a few years in "queer" circles I do empathise with you on these processes of discovering phrases like "gender identity". However I can see also that upon thinking about these characteristics, instead of thinking "hey, no one fits into man or woman, everyone is human and man/woman are pushed onto babies" you thought "there must be more categories". Does this make sense? Like instead of wanting to do away with harmful categories your thought process was "well let's make some more categories". Hopefully you can see which one is more productive.
Omg Ashley is amazing! Love this video so much! Love the reference to The Hijra ! There is also a similar gender in Indonesia called waria (Which is basically just trans)
So inspiring! Is there a way to add translation to the video? I'm French, my parents too but they barely understand a word of English, and I thought it would be interesting to show them this with French subtitles but it doesn't seem to work... Is it normal?
I would like to show a portion of this video in a diversity and inclusion workshop at my organization. We have already contacted TED, and because this is a TEDx video, we were told we had to get permission from the source. I would love to know with whom I should get in touch to obtain legal permission to use this. Thank you!
You can't argue both that gender is a social construction and that you can "feel" like a gender at the same time. It's a contradiction. How can you "feel" like a man or woman? You can feel more comfortable wearing certain things or behaving in a certain way which matches up to society's "masculine" or "feminine" constructions but this doesn't make those constructions innate. Which you acknowledge, and yet you contradict yourself by saying that "gender identity" is something one feels and thus the most important thing to focus on.
I wouldn't say it's a contradiction at all. You can feel drawn towards something that is a social construction. Society creates ways of being and knowing the world, and you can feel in your core that a certain way of being is the best one for you. For example, art is a social construct, but many artists feel as if it is central to their being. They are artists. And they are perfectly right in identifying as such.
yes you can feel drawn to a gender, ie the social constructs of masculinity and femininity. which is already stated. but that doesn't make you a man or woman. those are biological categories sure they effect aspects of your life but that's really it. and i don't see how you can feel like one or the other with out having the frame of reference of being the other?
Samara J thank you! it's a contradiction because it is ultimately a feeling emotional problem and it's subjective. My feelings are different from your feelings so therefore you must be oppressing me!
I think you're missing the point of the project, and the talk. And, I don't see how those things contradict each other at all - we can have innate feelings about things that also have social constructs. Further, the innate 'feeling' of gender doesn't have to correlate with the way you present yourself, or act. For example: We have a person who likes wearing suits and ties, being very straightforward, and career-driven. That person can be a man, a woman, or somewhere inbetween - we might call them a butch woman, or a stereotypical man, but regardless, their own gender identity doesn't have to dictate their choices, and Ashley is focusing on those choices we make. The question then becomes, do you make those choices based on what you feel like doing, or on what you're told you should do because of your gender? If it's the latter, then maybe question that. And at the end of the day, if you're a woman that likes suits, then you're still a woman - you don't have to question your own gender identity because of what you like. I think that's where a lot of people get the feelings of gender vs. the feelings towards their actions mixed up, trans or not. A trans man or a cis man can feel pressured into wearing that suit so that they read as 'male' by society, or a woman who likes suits might wonder 'does that mean I'm trans?' even if she's not. That's the 'social construct' part, and what can limit people. The way we perceive gender markers is rigid and depends on our culture and biology, but the way we feel about what our own gender is, and what we like, lives inside us, and varies from person to person. In the case of this video, gender identity is NOT the most important factor here - what is, is how we let that identity limit our choices in life.
She looks like Dallon Weekes. Sorry just had to point that out haha. Good speech. I think it's an important subject that people need to even slightly think about even if they have no problem identifying/presenting as the way society wants them to.
It's easy u have a right to live as u like. Just dont expect others to agree with u or call u whatever u want. Ur one of 9 billion. Ur feelings dont really matter at this point
Wow! I recognized you immediately! I didn’t realize you were a spokesperson! I have seen some of your slam poetry! But, We go back further than that! We used to trade online. This is incredible! Good work Ashley! I will have to look up these other videos you have put out. Nice to see you!
What makes them feel comfortable being addressed, if it's all about feelings what if a person doesn't feel confortable with the potential society norm that's being created. What if a person is sick to death of being asked by the progressive cultral Marxists lefts to consider how all the little minoriety indentity groups they've created feel. We've all got headache from lefists shit. There you go-regressive leftists make us fell pain in our heads and ass when they talk, we'd feel better if they didn't speak just listened. Better for us and better for them because if they were listening and instead of talking, they may learn something and not be complete braindead emotive group thinjkers.
"find your authentic self" .. wonderful; besides gender adults shouldn't put anything on you such as their religious belief, ethnic customs and traditions, language, or political, social, political, economic and government ideologies. everything they say and do is only their subjective bias
I don't buy the gender is a "social construct" argument for second. Obviously the gender norms we associate with men and women today come from a mix of both nature and nurture. It's a totally pseudo-scientific claim to suggest that there are no differences between men and women. If there are physical differences and differing historical roles then inevitably there will be different characteristics that would be selected for at higher and lower rates from an evolutionary standpoint. The real question is how do we move the culture toward a place where people can express themselves in whatever damn way they please regardless of what society has come to presume about the group they hail from whether your talking about men or women or any other group. People should be judged as individuals and if everyone would exercise a little social due process and not feel they have to slap a loaded definition on every person they meet before they've learned a single meaningful thing about them then we wouldn't find these marginalized groups embracing dangerous pseudo-scientific post-modernist ideas.
It isn't new diversity. May be is Nature controlled. What is new is the obsessed ,self centered approach. We are the most social creatures but we are still family,clan organized. If i don't know you i don't want you to know what it is intimate to me. Some issues brought about make no sense at all to me. Be yourself and be proud to be you what ever it happens to be. that would help some crack heads who think diversity is wrong.
This is very interesting. All the speaker is saying is that in her mind there are pre-conceptions of what gender should be and because she for example does not want to do everything a woman is expected to do or be, she then thinks that she is gender-non-conforming. For example I'm a woman and I don't like makeup and I absolutely hate high heels. Well just because I don't like makeup and I don't like high heels I do not feel that I'm gender non-conforming. I'm female. I just don't like makeup or high heels. The fact that I don't like makeup or high heels does not make less female. Less feminine maybe but not less female. I'm not confused.
Can you provide? Gender Tag 2023 Men Category of Gender Cis Men Trans Men Nonconforming Women Women Category of Gender Cis Women Trans Women Nonconforming Men What does it mean to be?
As this wonderful PhD in gender studies lady once said: "historically, transgender-paranoia always occured at final stages of major civilisations", that is, everytime we got to this exact same point, the whole world sorta went bazirk. Now, while I do agree with a lot of the arguments, these people are missing THE most important part, which is "deliniations", but "society" ! and I can't underline this enough! Gender roles as a concept occurs naturally as a result of the need to organize large societies upon functional units. Now so far they were based rather evolutionistic in nature, say, the women: the barer of the child and the protector of her and the child. This may indeed be limited, BUT it obviously works, as literally 99% of all human cizilisations were built upon these ground units. If you are to talk about gender, than for heaven's sake PLEASE talk about roles whithin an actual society. Randomely gathering people with literally no common ground from the Internet and calling everyone special and unique may be nice and emotionally comforting, BUT after I've seen like 100 TED video on this issue, I still have no fucking clue as how a society should work??! What literally all these people are saying is that: you should be confused! because after a long time of searching you will find your special and unique place in the world, which maybe would be fine if you force the government to give everyone 2 years after highschool to do literally nothing but just that, invent their own role into that society. Well no gov. will ever accept that nor do I personally believe they should! This is seriously exactly that, trangender mania! and it is not healthy for us as a whole. The Romans knew what they were doing, and what you are doing is exactly the same, divide people, except you're actually trying to convince everyone that divided is somehow better, defying literally every single study that has ever been done on any societal issue. Limits are there for a reason. THEY ARE CONSTRUCTIVE! they tell you that you don't belong within that limit, and other people that they do, either way, everyone involved knows where they stand. With your train of thoughts none of us know anything, other than that we somehow exist as complete seperate entities that sort of float in some proximity to one another. And on the right there's a video called: "Everyone is Trans. Ted Talk" WFT?!? But you know what, thank you for this video because now I know where I personally do not belong and I can write a book about it, it appears that I've already started one just now! so yay me :|
Strict gender roles hurt everyone, yes. Have you non binary folks ever thought that you are making the boxes "man" and "woman" much smaller by advocating for more gender options and pronouns? I mean I'll happily oblige if it's important to you. But, I really wish you wouldn't leave your assigned gender, just because society has f*ed up ideas of policing you. We need colourful and varied identities within both sexes/genders, if we ever hope to abolish the idea that there is a mold one needs to fit into to be "normal." If everyone was themselves a 100% and said "screw expectations" I feel like maybe no one would miss more gender options? Would trans even be a thing? I don't know.
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I've always hated how it was just fine and accepted that a girl can dress like a boy and be a Tomboy but oh Lord forbid a boy play with a doll or want to try nail polish or wear a dress....I'm the mom of a 21 and 17 year old
As the parent of a transgender daughter, I genuinely appreciate people who expand worldviews regarding gender.
Toni McMurphy non binary isn’t transgendered. Trans people actually disprove nonbinaries as they TRANSITION to one gender to another rather than just making up a gender and trying to change social norms
@David Vanpatten It's 2020. Get woke and stop living in the stone age.
@Toni McMurphy I have a trans child too. :) It's nice to see other intelligent people accepting their children. As every parent SHOULD.
@@LucasFernandez-fk8se and gender is a social construct.
@@LucasFernandez-fk8se and you don't speak for trans people.
I really like the statement "finding your most authentic self." I believe that that's what it all boils down to. you shouldn't feel forced to change who you are for others. As long as you are kind to others, looks shouldn't matter. Our outside appearance should be a fun thing, not something where we feel our innermost worth is dependent upon. I'm biologically a woman and I choose not to wear makeup. I feel happy like this, but I also feel the pressure of thinking the world around me sees me as unattractive. There are other things I would like to do, such as not shave, but I don't have the courage to. It'd be nice to live in a world where you can feel at peace to be how you want.
Oh wow there's my face in a TED video, ahah that's something I never thought would happen!
Great talk as always Ashley, that was truly amazing! :)
+ShantiLives Thank you!! Glad to be able to include you :]
I wonder if everybody whose videos were used knows? :)
What would a child on a non binary person call their parent? Also why do we all insist on using gender defining pronouns I’m sure life would be more straightforward if we quite using terms like he/she and mr and Mrs/miss
@@clairehiggins7120 a non-binary parent is a Zen so you'd say I love my Zen and Dad very much
Jai Green tf? Zen? Why?
Just love how well you articulate yourself and the topics around gender. You make it so easy to listen too and understand, don't stop being you! :)
@ana luisa mariano oliveira you look like a popular vowel
It was extremely inspiring to hear a TED talk about this, and so well-said! I've been questioning my own gender for a while now, and it's just very wonderful to know that I really am not alone. Keep doing awesome things and inspiring people to be authentic.
@David Vanpatten I can see my jeans zipper, I'll assume that's my gender.
@David Vanpatten I see my pants yes
this should be taught in schools
Yes it should
it is. cancerous.
coldlasagne they already do, people are confused, fighting over ideals and ideas and we are all unaware of the messages of warning from other countries saying America is on the brink of WW3. But we dare about gender stereotypes.....no wonder they all don't care if we burn alive
No it shouldn't.
I'm glad that people like you aren't in charge.
Why? Put any thought into the overall short or long term impacts a subjective abstract concept such as the premise puts forth may have on the adolesents mind, or for that matter a childs mind. What's the net gain to society, does it have any negitive consequences. On the balance of probabilities with the use of common sense one would suggest putting such a premise in the minds of children, you will get some similar to the plecebo affect, that express feelings they don't necessarily have or wouldm't have had. With no long term studies with any degree of accuracy, and no, any statisics they've collected so far will be discarded on the grounds of bias to push an agenda, plus the left lie. For an issue that affects a miniscule percentage of population, it's not an issue any sane rational reasoned person would allow in schools, and they won't be. It's a loopy progressive cultural Marxist leftist social engineering program that even cat can see is nuts.
Short sighted narrow minded emotive group thinkers that act on the whim of thought bubbles shouldn't be anywhere near kids.
Non-binary or gender-fluid are the two chosen gender tags I claimed in 1000s of small decisions I made for myself growing up. Along with those 1000s of little choices are the 1000s of misconceptions that not only my family and friends made about me but total strangers with random encounters that they do not remember doing. I am sure the person who called me sir when I was 18 and working at Ross doesn't remember me turning around and them stumbling over their words like I psychically tripped them by just turning around because I was wearing a white dress shirt, pinstriped pants with suspenders but I do. Or even the time in the frozen food section at the supermarket being called sir again for what seemed like the 1000th time. Or being teased by my cousins because I rather play in mud with my barbies and GI joes, or climbing as high as I possibly could climb in the trees around our houses. I remember because those mixed matched choices I made as Ive grown up like a child filling a bag of mixed up candies at a candy store, are important to me. We as a society needs to broaden our definition of gender or even break it and start anew is very needed,
Petition for this video to be shown in every health class
Jesus Christ, don't tell people to kill themselves.
Gender is a very important part of mental health and I hope health classes one day realise that
I disgree!
Yes 100%
i'm so proud of her, i'm so proud of her confidence that she can talk to so many people i'm really proud well done Ashley :)
michelle benz Please don't refer to Nonbinary people as she/hers/her or h/him/his unless they say they prefer it. Please use they/them/their pronouns instead.
Hannah Rose Good thing to keep in mind, but if you watched the video where Ashley answers the gender tag questions then you know she/her/hers is her preferred one.
Well. I was just in a Ted talk. Didn't see that coming, someone just tweeted me about it.
Wait, really? When?
I DO think this is one of the best videos I've ever watched, if not the best. This video tells us the reality of the world, that is not about just two genders, but that is about variety and differences in every single human. Not everyone can fit society standards, maybe because they are more than those boxes or maybe just because they are different, but that is not the point. The point is that everyone has its beauty in his/her/its uniqueness.
Sorry but it is about two genders and you are born with one of them. Now if you choose to be more masculine or more feminine is your perogative but we will continue to identify you with your biological gender as we have done all our lives.
@@ladivaeu7795 you know that many people are born intersex with XXY chromosome, right?
Taking a class and my quest is what is Gender expression? I feel it is being the real you , “ the unapologetic you “, putting all norms aside ,
what do you feel you are? , after this it’s how you go about living your own life ... how you look, dress, act, non verbal and verbal language,,
Only 2 ways to experience gender ? Each person has their own journey through gender and how they express it
Gracias ☺️
So powerful. This video really helped me break down the thoughts I've had swirling in my brain for a long time and am now just starting to sort through for myself. Well done, and thank you!
Jennifer M. Clay yeah the internet is great for nourishing narcissistic behaviors
This is an incredible movement
This is a big step, an enormous advace... But we need it so much
This is wonderful
This is revolution
I just want to tell you:
Thanks Ashley
I've been watching your videos from many years ago, and yes.. you've taught me a lot, so from Spain: THANK YOU
It's greatest croc of shit I think I can safely say the regressive has vomited up yet, it's not even a step let alone award it a size, it's not an advancement of anything other assigning the left to political irrelevance which is an advancement I suppose, yep agreed this is wonderful.
Gender roles hurt everyone❤ true..
Thank you Ashley for being able to be a part of this!
This is an excellent talk!! I have felt the burden of what society says about what a woman is, what is feminine, and this is very thoughtful and freeing ❤
I've followed ashley on social media for almost two years now! and I couldn't be prouder to see them succeed and use their knowledge to educate and make the world a better place! Thanks ashley for all that you do! :)
I doubt you're going to read this but thank you so much Ashly! You helped me learn about myself and taught me that it's ok to still be learning about yourself.
Yay Ashley! I'm so proud of you! So happy to see you speaking at a TedEx conference! You Go Girl! Xoxo! ♡♡♡
Great talk. How very true, non-binary. Having Two Spirits. We have both masculine & feminine. I think it would be most logical and normal to be both at different times depending on the circumstance. Masculine to protect, feminine to nurture. All I know is I am not heterosexual. We need to teach, talk and engage this subject to people 14/15 years old. It will make a huge difference to the happiness of mankind. one must know theses things to be authentic. we can not be our best if we are not authentic. Binary Sexual Identity is not only limiting, dividing but simply illogical
When she mentioned Chile, I was a little bit proud of my country :')
samee
BrainColapsed aguante chile vieja
BrainColapsed She? Most nonbinary people use they/them/theirs
Hannah Rose - Why though? Is nonbinary individuals somehow more than one person?!
kreaturen they can be used to describe one person who’s gender is unknown. It’s in many works of literature throughout the years and is in the dictionary as well. The best example of how we regularly and naturally use singular they would be “Someone left their bag on the table.” :)
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone who understands!!!!!!! Thank you!
I love the topic. Very intelligent, well thought through and articulate. I am wondering how many of the people in your project are over 50, over 60, over 70 etc. Many of us have struggled with gender for decades, mostly in fighting the norms and pressures from others. It is from this struggle and the daring of many that the acceptance of gender differences has come so radically far.
I've been watching your videos for a few years now and it's truly amazing to see how much you've grown and see what you've accomplished. Utterly inspiring!
If anyone's wondering, some of the words in that list actually mean the same thing. People use different terms depending on what generation they're from or how they discovered what they are (in a book/someone explaining to them/the internet/a psychologist etc.)
Amazing message. I just want to tell everyone that you are beautiful in every way! Stay true to who you are, and keep lifting the world up with positivity! I wish people would expand their minds more, and encourage one another, but always stay true to you despite them. ✌🏼
"One day I was mistakenly called Sir & it shattered my entire identity."
This was one great talk which align so well with my thoughts.I am from India I just want to add a correction the community name that Ashley mentioned as 'Hidra' is actually 'Hijra'.
Years ago I had a friend make me up as a woman for Halloween. I was working in a truck stop. Got hit on by a truck driver. I remember crying as I removed my makeup at the end of the day. A week later the manager asked me to go my mustache back.
Tears of joy or...?
@@cockycookie1 I felt like I had found part of myself but for some reason I never pursue it. I really enjoyed being made up. I'm glad I did it.
Great presentation! Despite having fundamental disagreements with her, I found this to be engaging and informative, unlike most of the talks/discussions on this topic at large. Why this stands out, I feel, is because she does not give off a superiority vibe during the talk and asks the audience to decide for themselves rather than preach!
Its 'them' not 'her'.
I know it is weird to claim this considering we have never met, but I want to hug you. I think you're wonderful and so so smart. Would to have coffee or a glass of wine with you.
We should all just be who we want to be...❤
I had no idea that Ashley did one of these talks! Omg! She obviously has a talent for speaking in front of people. :)
I think I've watched almost all of those gender tag videos featured. I'm still trying to figure my own out, tbh. All I have currently is not cis, wants top surgery, and doubt I'll ever want T because singing is one of the most important things in my life. I'm very glad my tag is not in this video. That'd be terrifying. lol
I love how you kept it logical! Great presentation.
To me gender is a way of identifying each other on the outside... I’m a straight female so I would go for a straight male, I feel like that’s important to me and most in society. Everyone seems to have their own preferences of type of people so therefore I defo would not say it’s something that you learn environmentally as I have an ideal type of person which is not like my friends types.
Thanks for giving me something to walk away with-- the recipe for assessing gender authenticity.... Good stuff!
FINALLY, a gender expression talk that makes sense to me. Finally, someone who brings in different cultures. There are so many other things that could have been added, if given time. For example, the third pronoun, "hen" in Swedish...no it does not mean a female.
Sometimes I wonder how much of my gender expression is a result of way I saw my Mom treated and how I subconsciously wanted to avoid that. My Mom was hot. She was a shrimp, but a hot shrimp. And yet, this did not help her in life. She was physically attacked because of her gender. She would not stand up for herself. I did not want to be like that. I loved her, and she was the most beautiful woman in the world; but I was never going to match my purse to my shoes.
I love TED Talks so much 👏
Ashley is phenomenal. ❤️
I answered these questions on my blog :) And also translated the questions and my answers in Finnish, because that's my mother tongue and that's the language I usually use when writing my blog. This video is awesome. I think I'll use it once I come out. I'm queer. But I'm not out yet. No one I know IRL reads my blog nor the comments I write on TH-cam. And if someone does and the truth about my gender comes out to the people I know, I don't care, it'd actually be better. I'd love it I wouldn't have to come out...
I love Jenna Anne I saw her Gender Tag. Thank you Ashley Wylde you're amazing.
You are very wise. Thank you for this
Some more things: just watching the bit where you talk about the characteristics society assigns to "man" vs "woman" and how that made you question yourself. I can understand how it could leave you feeling disorientated and confused and having been for a few years in "queer" circles I do empathise with you on these processes of discovering phrases like "gender identity".
However I can see also that upon thinking about these characteristics, instead of thinking "hey, no one fits into man or woman, everyone is human and man/woman are pushed onto babies" you thought "there must be more categories". Does this make sense? Like instead of wanting to do away with harmful categories your thought process was "well let's make some more categories". Hopefully you can see which one is more productive.
Samara J great comment! agree
Samara J yassssssssss ❤️🙌🏻❤️
Ashley, amazing as always. It's a pleasure to listen to you. Best wishes from Spain :)
Omg Ashley is amazing! Love this video so much! Love the reference to The Hijra ! There is also a similar gender in Indonesia called waria (Which is basically just trans)
Yooo, my man MDB was in this?! That was kind of awesome to see!
That was great & inspiring ..Good job Ashley Wylde
this person is hot. and im a striaght female
Im a bi female and I don't find her attractive in the slightest. Does it matter to what she said? No.
@@etrebelle9812 But they're nonbinary, not male or female, so I suppose it makes sense you wouldn't like them.
@@etrebelle9812 They're very androgynous looking
@@etrebelle9812 bi people can be attracted to two _or more_ genders
So inspiring! Is there a way to add translation to the video? I'm French, my parents too but they barely understand a word of English, and I thought it would be interesting to show them this with French subtitles but it doesn't seem to work... Is it normal?
How does "most people not thinking about their gender lead to a lack of understanding of others and a limited world view?"
não me canso de assistir esse vídeo
Great video. Thank you!
Go Ashley!
I would like to show a portion of this video in a diversity and inclusion workshop at my organization. We have already contacted TED, and because this is a TEDx video, we were told we had to get permission from the source. I would love to know with whom I should get in touch to obtain legal permission to use this. Thank you!
You can't argue both that gender is a social construction and that you can "feel" like a gender at the same time. It's a contradiction.
How can you "feel" like a man or woman? You can feel more comfortable wearing certain things or behaving in a certain way which matches up to society's "masculine" or "feminine" constructions but this doesn't make those constructions innate. Which you acknowledge, and yet you contradict yourself by saying that "gender identity" is something one feels and thus the most important thing to focus on.
Ikr
I wouldn't say it's a contradiction at all. You can feel drawn towards something that is a social construction. Society creates ways of being and knowing the world, and you can feel in your core that a certain way of being is the best one for you. For example, art is a social construct, but many artists feel as if it is central to their being. They are artists. And they are perfectly right in identifying as such.
yes you can feel drawn to a gender, ie the social constructs of masculinity and femininity. which is already stated. but that doesn't make you a man or woman. those are biological categories sure they effect aspects of your life but that's really it. and i don't see how you can feel like one or the other with out having the frame of reference of being the other?
Samara J thank you! it's a contradiction because it is ultimately a feeling emotional problem and it's subjective. My feelings are different from your feelings so therefore you must be oppressing me!
I think you're missing the point of the project, and the talk. And, I don't see how those things contradict each other at all - we can have innate feelings about things that also have social constructs. Further, the innate 'feeling' of gender doesn't have to correlate with the way you present yourself, or act.
For example: We have a person who likes wearing suits and ties, being very straightforward, and career-driven. That person can be a man, a woman, or somewhere inbetween - we might call them a butch woman, or a stereotypical man, but regardless, their own gender identity doesn't have to dictate their choices, and Ashley is focusing on those choices we make.
The question then becomes, do you make those choices based on what you feel like doing, or on what you're told you should do because of your gender? If it's the latter, then maybe question that. And at the end of the day, if you're a woman that likes suits, then you're still a woman - you don't have to question your own gender identity because of what you like. I think that's where a lot of people get the feelings of gender vs. the feelings towards their actions mixed up, trans or not. A trans man or a cis man can feel pressured into wearing that suit so that they read as 'male' by society, or a woman who likes suits might wonder 'does that mean I'm trans?' even if she's not. That's the 'social construct' part, and what can limit people.
The way we perceive gender markers is rigid and depends on our culture and biology, but the way we feel about what our own gender is, and what we like, lives inside us, and varies from person to person. In the case of this video, gender identity is NOT the most important factor here - what is, is how we let that identity limit our choices in life.
She looks like Dallon Weekes. Sorry just had to point that out haha. Good speech. I think it's an important subject that people need to even slightly think about even if they have no problem identifying/presenting as the way society wants them to.
HEYYYY seethestarsablaze was in that video :)
I love this talk. I love this Woman.
+sunshine66917 😍😍😍
+sunshine66917 How do you know it is a woman? Maybe it's a motorboat?
^ that's a bit of a stupid attempt at sarcasm buddy
Nina Hacker I'm not your buddy friend.
00Towelie :) just helping a pal out :)
She's awesome!
love this
If you don't fit into those normative catagories ...sooo there is a recognition of a normal catagory ??
Yup. It's called the gender binary.
Am I missing something? After watching this video, I still don't know the details of the gender tag questions and project.
Awesome!
Was not expecting to see MahDryBread here.
These beautiful kids are sooooo confused!
Subtitulos en Español 🙌🏻
It's easy u have a right to live as u like. Just dont expect others to agree with u or call u whatever u want. Ur one of 9 billion. Ur feelings dont really matter at this point
Geeeez you have a sad life making these comments on here. No one cares about your feelings either
This was great!! 👏
is alright
french or english subtitles pls
Kurt Cobain you can always turn on autogenerated English subtitles and there's maybe one mistake every couple minutes but they're really good
Wow! I recognized you immediately! I didn’t realize you were a spokesperson!
I have seen some of your slam poetry! But, We go back further than that! We used to trade online.
This is incredible! Good work Ashley! I will have to look up these other videos you have put out. Nice to see you!
This is awesome
Wait... Is her microphone going through the ear piercing?
Inspiring video! :D
Why is Ashley mis-gendered in the description?
Isn't Ashley non-binary though?
I see now. Thanks for clearing that up! I thought being non-binary meant that you didn't use her/he pronouns.
What makes them feel comfortable being addressed, if it's all about feelings what if a person doesn't feel confortable with the potential society norm that's being created. What if a person is sick to death of being asked by the progressive cultral Marxists lefts to consider how all the little minoriety indentity groups they've created feel. We've all got headache from lefists shit.
There you go-regressive leftists make us fell pain in our heads and ass when they talk, we'd feel better if they didn't speak just listened. Better for us and better for them because if they were listening and instead of talking, they may learn something and not be complete braindead emotive group thinjkers.
I didn't know Ashley did TED Talks! That's cool.
Gender confusion now reflects ongoing new stereotypical sexist constructs.
"find your authentic self" .. wonderful; besides gender adults shouldn't put anything on you such as their religious belief, ethnic customs and traditions, language, or political, social, political, economic and government ideologies. everything they say and do is only their subjective bias
Hey the slides are edited. It doesn't show the highlights
Ashley, you're awesome! Also, thanks for putting Demigender up there. Us Demi's don't get a lot of representation most days!
I thought we were moving past gender roles?
Yes and no. It's a bit of a logic twister.
Rose Stone well sometimes, if you can’t escape the box all you can do is try to expand it
She’s equating gender with gender roles
7 billion + people
2 experiences
GD we are simple, not🤪
Best evidence our system makes absolutely no logical sense.
Starting with a wrong definition of gender is basically a wrong step into answering correctly.
I don't buy the gender is a "social construct" argument for second. Obviously the gender norms we associate with men and women today come from a mix of both nature and nurture. It's a totally pseudo-scientific claim to suggest that there are no differences between men and women. If there are physical differences and differing historical roles then inevitably there will be different characteristics that would be selected for at higher and lower rates from an evolutionary standpoint. The real question is how do we move the culture toward a place where people can express themselves in whatever damn way they please regardless of what society has come to presume about the group they hail from whether your talking about men or women or any other group. People should be judged as individuals and if everyone would exercise a little social due process and not feel they have to slap a loaded definition on every person they meet before they've learned a single meaningful thing about them then we wouldn't find these marginalized groups embracing dangerous pseudo-scientific post-modernist ideas.
Is it weird I think they're cute?
You look beautiful.
It isn't new diversity.
May be is Nature controlled.
What is new is the obsessed ,self centered approach.
We are the most social creatures but we are still family,clan organized.
If i don't know you i don't want you to know what it is intimate to me.
Some issues brought about make no sense at all to me.
Be yourself and be proud to be you what ever it happens to be.
that would help some crack heads who think diversity is wrong.
Something most two year olds understand
This is very interesting. All the speaker is saying is that in her mind there are pre-conceptions of what gender should be and because she for example does not want to do everything a woman is expected to do or be, she then thinks that she is gender-non-conforming. For example I'm a woman and I don't like makeup and I absolutely hate high heels. Well just because I don't like makeup and I don't like high heels I do not feel that I'm gender non-conforming. I'm female. I just don't like makeup or high heels. The fact that I don't like makeup or high heels does not make less female. Less feminine maybe but not less female. I'm not confused.
Can you provide?
Gender Tag 2023
Men Category of Gender
Cis Men
Trans Men
Nonconforming Women
Women Category of Gender
Cis Women
Trans Women
Nonconforming Men
What does it mean to be?
lol even Ted call her her in the description
J KingH cause that’s the pronouns she uses
Damn, I think it's the lighting and angle but even my eyes are getting fooled here
As this wonderful PhD in gender studies lady once said: "historically, transgender-paranoia always occured at final stages of major civilisations", that is, everytime we got to this exact same point, the whole world sorta went bazirk. Now, while I do agree with a lot of the arguments, these people are missing THE most important part, which is "deliniations", but "society" ! and I can't underline this enough! Gender roles as a concept occurs naturally as a result of the need to organize large societies upon functional units. Now so far they were based rather evolutionistic in nature, say, the women: the barer of the child and the protector of her and the child. This may indeed be limited, BUT it obviously works, as literally 99% of all human cizilisations were built upon these ground units. If you are to talk about gender, than for heaven's sake PLEASE talk about roles whithin an actual society. Randomely gathering people with literally no common ground from the Internet and calling everyone special and unique may be nice and emotionally comforting, BUT after I've seen like 100 TED video on this issue, I still have no fucking clue as how a society should work??! What literally all these people are saying is that: you should be confused! because after a long time of searching you will find your special and unique place in the world, which maybe would be fine if you force the government to give everyone 2 years after highschool to do literally nothing but just that, invent their own role into that society. Well no gov. will ever accept that nor do I personally believe they should! This is seriously exactly that, trangender mania! and it is not healthy for us as a whole. The Romans knew what they were doing, and what you are doing is exactly the same, divide people, except you're actually trying to convince everyone that divided is somehow better, defying literally every single study that has ever been done on any societal issue.
Limits are there for a reason. THEY ARE CONSTRUCTIVE! they tell you that you don't belong within that limit, and other people that they do, either way, everyone involved knows where they stand. With your train of thoughts none of us know anything, other than that we somehow exist as complete seperate entities that sort of float in some proximity to one another. And on the right there's a video called: "Everyone is Trans. Ted Talk" WFT?!?
But you know what, thank you for this video because now I know where I personally do not belong and I can write a book about it, it appears that I've already started one just now! so yay me :|
BinaREEEEEE
non binary
Strict gender roles hurt everyone, yes. Have you non binary folks ever thought that you are making the boxes "man" and "woman" much smaller by advocating for more gender options and pronouns?
I mean I'll happily oblige if it's important to you. But, I really wish you wouldn't leave your assigned gender, just because society has f*ed up ideas of policing you.
We need colourful and varied identities within both sexes/genders, if we ever hope to abolish the idea that there is a mold one needs to fit into to be "normal."
If everyone was themselves a 100% and said "screw expectations" I feel like maybe no one would miss more gender options? Would trans even be a thing? I don't know.
Ah, so that's where the gender tag came from