Why is Gender Identity so Important? | Rikki Arundel | TEDxWarwickSalon

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
  • In 2002, after a life long struggle with her gender identity, Rikki Arundel decided to change her gender, a decision that brought her successful speaking career in financial services technology to an abrupt halt. Faced with considerable discrimination, she changed her field of expertise, completing a masters degree in Gender Research at Hull University and establishing herself as a diversity expert. She has spent the past decade delivering transgender awareness and other gender related training to mostly public sector organisations, and developing her website at www.gendernetwork.com.
    Why is my Gender Identity so important? Think for a moment about how you might describe someone. Now what if you didn’t know their
    gender? How would that change your description? How would it change their identity? Rikki will be taking us on a journey into the world between genders to explore how we can break from the prison of gender identity.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 437

  • @cambeuluk
    @cambeuluk 9 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Reply to DamnMyfetish (no reply button available)
    Why is it that people with less than a smattering of understanding of complex issues don’t hesitate to add their shallow pool of thought to a debate?
    First - gender identity is NOT the same as sexuality and a person’s phenotype (their external appearance including genitalia) does not influence gender identity. During gestation, male human genitalia begins to differentiate from the base model of female at around the 6th week, triggered by the embryo’s Y chromosome.
    I in 200 births presents an infant whose anatomy differs from the standard male and female. I in 2000 live births is a child with complex, ambiguous genitalia. It requires further tests to ascertain whether the child is chromosomally male or female. Even when we have the answer, none of this determines the child’s later gender identity, it is the BRAIN which decides. Some people can be born with what looks like male secondary sexual characteristics yet their brain has developed anatomically as female - post-mortem examination of the brain has given us an insight into the basis of gender identity and it is NOT the external anatomy as such.
    ! in 1000 people (most of whom identify as male) are born with an extra X chromosome (47, XXY). As a result they do not secrete enough testosterone to go through a typcal male puberty. In consequence, they develop breasts, their body shape is feminine, their voice does not break and they are unable to grow facial and male-pattern body hair. This does not mean that they will ID as female. Some do, but I repeat, gender identity is NOT dictated by the body.
    I have worked with many young people who are diagnosed with this condition (Klinefelter Syndrome). I have also worked with young people who externally appear to be anatomically male, However, their brain has developed along female lines & vice versa - i.e. female’ anatomy contradicted by a male identity. Yet another condition reveals an individual who presents with intact external male genitalia and identifies as male, yet tests reveal that internally he possesses rudimentary female reproductive organs (uterus & fallopian tubes). Should the sex police then tell him that HE is actually SHE because of his internal organs or should they insist he is male becasue he has a penis and scrotum?
    Before those who dismiss the facts leap to write about their concept of ‘normality’ I suggest that they should attend university for 5 years (as I did) qualify with a doctorate (as I did) and spend 4 years in research (as I did) and then work for 16+ years with the very people I have described above (as I have done) and then perhaps you will be able to write about such matters with more authority. Even better, keep an open mind and spend some time with the very people I describe above. You may learn something more useful than uninformed prejudice.

    • @i3ignorantidelweb43
      @i3ignorantidelweb43 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You wrote better what I looked in videos, thank you for your detailed explanation. Also I’m trans so this feels very validating. Have a nice day

  • @D347h54rg3n7
    @D347h54rg3n7 8 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    What I don't get is the necessity of a label at all, even in the case of dating websites you're selecting genitals not filtering for a system of behaviors.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      We label things to make it easier to talk about them. Sadly when we label we also create stereotypes and that is where the problem lies and where your comment fails. The label gender is about identity not biology. Calling myself a Trans Woman says nothing about my genitals - It tells you only that I was born male and now identify as female. In the UK and many countries I can legally identify as female without even having any form or clinical treatment.
      You apply the label woman to someone no on the basis of their biological sex, but on the basis of their gender appearance - if they look like a woman then we label them a woman - of they look like a man then we label them a man. But what do we do if it is not entirely clear - does it matter if we cannot determine whether a person is male or female.
      The problem is that we don't labels to describe someone who is neither male nor female - and than makes talking about them difficult - we can use plural pronouns, they, them or the neutral pronoun it, though using it to refer to a human is considered impolite, or offensive.

    • @D347h54rg3n7
      @D347h54rg3n7 8 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      ***** But it sounds to me like you are arguing for stereo types.
      Female in appearance could mean anything from has breasts to wearing a dress. When in reality we've had tomboys to valley girls as an ever growing spectrum less of gender expression and more of personal expression.
      To clarify my confusion since you seem to be one to talk about these things.
      It sounds as though you advocate a label for behaviors indicative of individuals rather than biological groups, which sounds impossible to me because eventually we would have as many labels as their are people. So why seek having them at all for any one and instead just relegate these labels to the area of medicine which is the only case I can conceive of where your gender might play a role in treatment.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes, I will admit it is easy to fall into the trap of promoting gender stereotypes which was definitely not my intention. The challenge for trans people is that if we want to avoid harassment we often have to "pass" as one gender or the other so we are to a degree forced to adopt gender stereotypes.
      For cic gender women the challenge is not so great because it is increasingly acceptable to present a "tomboy" appearance. The range of clothing and appearance for women has broadened so much that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to dress in an identical way to a masculine man and for that appearance to be considered just another form of female dress.
      If a man even wears a dress or skirt that has been designed for men - they are likely to be harassed and humiliated. we are now seeing the emergence of more and more labels to describe and define people such as non binary, bi gendered, androgyne, etc - yet when I interview people about this topic most don't like any of the labels and prefer to identify as something different.
      Kate Bernstein in her book Gender Outlaw suggested that perhaps there is a gender for everyone - which does negate the very idea of labelling gendered appearance - Why do we need to label people?
      Does it matter if you are male or female, masculine or feminine - are those terms becoming labels that only describe extreme concepts of gender expression or sexual identity. Perhaps in actuality we all fall somewhere on a continuum between male and female, masculine and feminine.
      I certainly support the idea of a culture where gender is abandoned, and where your body shape ad parts are irrelevant - a culture where we are all pan gender and pan sexual.

    • @D347h54rg3n7
      @D347h54rg3n7 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Black Knight Fool Not Sure if Rikki will return but that's the point I was less bluntly dancing around,.
      The idea of relegating gender to a simple medical label I think suffers from perhaps the unwanted baggage of years of gender based identification, which seems more beneficial to shirk rather than replacing with a laundry list of genders. Though if you read their last note I think the feeling is mutual that a good end point to this discussion would be to simply step away from any unnecessary labeling to begin with.

    • @D347h54rg3n7
      @D347h54rg3n7 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy new year my resolution is to start a trend of including tl;dr lines in posts though I have had fun reading and responding thus far in this curiously stimulating TH-cam comment thread.

  • @EHAmos
    @EHAmos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    12:43 "Because that's the penalty for failing to comply"
    Calling it out like that instead of using more socially safe terms completely changed how I view the entire gender spectrum.

  • @melissalarsen4138
    @melissalarsen4138 8 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Thanks for this. As a woman who has always been on the tomboy side of things, I've been extremely confused about why someone would feel the need to actually change genders. I've looked at gender as unimportant because I'll do what I want, regardless of whether it's considered appropriate for a woman. But I can see that this is more difficult for men to do without extreme harassment and violence.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I think this is why 80% if trans people from surveys are male to female. I know a number of women who which they had been born male - but are able to cope without coming out as trans. Women don't need to spend years crossdressing in secret - because you can cross dress and no one really notices.

    • @beckyfuge
      @beckyfuge 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It is possible that the physical advantages of being born with an XY chromosome comes with some extra social responsibility. 30% more muscle mass and more bone density may come with some strings attached?

    • @josstrebe6302
      @josstrebe6302 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RikkiArundel My psychology dr. Cross dresses like a man and I noticed

    • @fidboi2715
      @fidboi2715 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I still don't see the point of changing your gender, mostly because it isn't possible. The only reason I think you could bother is to avoid harassment when you cross dress and than it's not even about how you feel it's to avoid judgement and conflict. People just need to accept that you can't "change" your gender and it's really just personality.

  • @JohnnyAppleseed604
    @JohnnyAppleseed604 9 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    "Challenge these rigid and stupid rules!"
    Brilliant speech passionately delivered, thank you Rikki.

    • @brunozoekteenjob
      @brunozoekteenjob 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes, al those stupid rules, the new rules are now that people must use the gender jargon.
      There are people who are using their slang, botanists using Latin, but they don't impose that everybody must speaks Latin by low.

    • @JaneTheMessage
      @JaneTheMessage 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      +bruno “brunozoekteenjob” zoekteenjob Nobody mocks, isolates, or endangers the safety of people speaking Latin. That is how to accurately apply your analogy, as you appeared to have missed the point of this speech.
      If you can respect a transgender, or any varient non-binary gendered person, as you would a person who happens to be speaking in a different language such as Latin, that would be the entire point she was making.

    • @karenohana8773
      @karenohana8773 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      NinjaJanie You refered to the person as "she".. today, in Canada that is counted as hate speech and you can go to jail for it.. because although you see the outward appearance of a woman, you have probably misgendered and even if you didn't mean to misgender.. you can still go to jail for it. Its law.. check it out. Welcome to gender hell.

    • @lr3521
      @lr3521 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Karen Ohana provide one real life example of where someone’s gone to jail for misgendering by accident then!!! Purleeeeease!!!!

    • @lr3521
      @lr3521 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Great, wonderful speech. Will remember this for a long time

  • @lovekai88
    @lovekai88 8 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    This is such an interesting topic; thank you for sharing! But one of your comments really struck me. You said to one of the guys here " But what would you do if your daughter started wanting to wear boys
    clothes, wanted to change her name to a boys name, refused to wear
    dresses, insisted on playing soccer or football..." I did all of those things as a little girl. My mother couldn't even put a bow in my hair without me screaming. I played soccer/football starting at 6 years old and continued all the way through university. I played many sports, actually. You can't possibly be saying that I was a boy because of that, right? I was always considered a girl with my own special interests. I was a tomboy, yes (and be careful if you use that word in Thailand because it has a very different meaning there that I found out the hard way, haha) but girls and women can do a wide variety of things and have many interests. That doesn't define my gender. I do enjoy wearing dresses and skirts now, but that's because soccer players have nice legs haha. But seriously, I am happy that no one started encouraging me to change my gender when I was younger. I've always been proud of being a strong woman. Just because a child starts acting like a person who has interests that are not exactly what had previously been considered to be traditionally of the opposite gender does not mean that they are of the wrong gender.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      lovekai88 When anyone changes gender it is, or should be, only because that is what they want to do. The clinical assessments we go through are designed to determine if we do have gender dysphoria.
      Of course being female bodied does give you a social advantage that you could express masculinity without facing too much humiliation and bullying. Born with a male body I did not have that advantage. If I had worn skirts and dresses and makeup as a child I would have faced huge problems - and still would today, although it is getting better.
      What I would like to see is a change of attitude that allows children to express themselves in any way they choose without harassment. At the same time where a child appears to have gender dysphoria, they need to get the support that enables them to avoid the effects of puberty and be supported to make the right decision about their body. If someone is trans the worst possible outcome is being forced to endure the devastating and permenant impact of puberty in the "wrong" body.
      We need a complete overhaul of our understanding of gender and learn from the cultures where as many as 5 or more different genders are accepted.

    • @CarbonUnitX
      @CarbonUnitX 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      lovekai88 That's a valid point. The difference however is that (I assume) you never had or expressed not being or hating being a girl, or a feeling of being or wanting to be a boy, did you? Tomboys and trans guys have many similarities, there just isn't an example like that for boys and trans women. Yet it's ok to be a tomboy. I'm a trans guy and I was always allowed to be a tomboy but the moment I hit puberty and asked if someone could cut my breasts off and expressed disgust with my curves and my name then that was waved off as just teenage angst. So I guess she gave those examples because that's the first thing a parent will notice. Sometimes it'll just be a tomboy but it's good to listen to the child and not be ashamed of it even if they turn out to be trans.

    • @CarbonUnitX
      @CarbonUnitX 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      lovekai88 That's a valid point. The difference however is that (I assume) you never had or expressed not being or hating being a girl, or a feeling of being or wanting to be a boy, did you? Tomboys and trans guys have many similarities, there just isn't an example like that for boys and trans women. Yet it's ok to be a tomboy. I'm a trans guy and I was always allowed to be a tomboy but the moment I hit puberty and asked if someone could cut my breasts off and expressed disgust with my curves and my name then that was waved off as just teenage angst. So I guess she gave those examples because that's the first thing a parent will notice. Sometimes it'll just be a tomboy but it's good to listen to the child and not be ashamed of it even if they turn out to be trans.
      I personally am torn about postponing puberty, as dealing with kids is less straightforward. Then again if I'd been strong enough to press the matter and had been taken seriously back then I would definitely be grateful if my puberty hadn't happened and I could have gone through it later with testosterone. But now I have to go through it twice... I realise this is more important for trans women as their puberty does more damage less of which is reversible.

    • @1985-f5y
      @1985-f5y 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I was that way too. As someone who believes gender is just a social construct (like the person in the video said), I'm confused by the prevalence of gender stereotypes when it comes to trans people. On one hand saying gender isn't real, & on the other hand saying "I feel I'm female, therefore I will wear dresses and blouses". That's basically saying that dresses/blouses = female

    • @rainjaydd8213
      @rainjaydd8213 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nobody encourages anybody to change their gender. And if you had been encouraged, you would have been forbidden to transition because it's highly unlikely you meet the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria.
      Stop trivializing other people's experiences, and stop imagining that you've been through anything trans people have

  • @Dan_The_Dude
    @Dan_The_Dude 8 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    10/10 great explanation, great incorporation of humour, and your voice is amazing to listen to. I was a little disappointed that you didn't really talk about non-binary people, but other than that I think you hit all the important points, in a very clear and concise way.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      +EmoRainbow Thank you for you lovely comments. This talk was delivered in October 2014 when non-binary was just emerging into main stream. It is amazing just how much has changed in the past year. I had started introducing non binary and bi gender into my workshops in 2014 - and now it is a significant topic - but one that most cis gendered people really struggle with. Most people still think transsexual when they thence amour any gender variance. And when you look at the hight profile trans people in 2015 it was all about how well they pass and surgery - we have a long way to go.

    • @donnyboygonnatrumptheworld4840
      @donnyboygonnatrumptheworld4840 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      +Rikki Arundel wow please stop making up stuff for these mentally ill people so they can play make believe.

    • @Dan_The_Dude
      @Dan_The_Dude 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Donny boy gonna Trump the World
      There's no food here, troll

    • @sh4nnz
      @sh4nnz 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Of course The only close se minded ass hole in the comments is a trump supporter👍😂

    • @peterparker6118
      @peterparker6118 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Donny boy gonna Trump the World not a trump fan yet it's pretty accurate what he says. This is a philosophical debate not a scientific one

  • @monika6160
    @monika6160 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Gender identity isn’t important. Be yourself not a caricature of what you think a woman is or a man is. It’s incredibly sexist to women that you think we all just like pink, shoes, and makeup. Also, participate in your own sports please, pave your own path just like real women did.

    • @i3ignorantidelweb43
      @i3ignorantidelweb43 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Did you hear about the brain and self awareness part?

  • @jacopopeterman4703
    @jacopopeterman4703 8 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    So now when a women gives birth to a baby and asks the doctor "is it a boy or a girl?" the doctor needs to respond "we won't know for quite some time".

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Exactly - about 2 to 3 years in fact

    • @KoatsNGoats
      @KoatsNGoats 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Well for pronouns I think it's safe to assume they are cisgender until they are older and understand their gender.

    • @robertjohnson7552
      @robertjohnson7552 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      KoatsAndGoats TheEdgyGoat they are born the same gender they'll be for the rest of their lives.

    • @samb906
      @samb906 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The fact that that is a issue for people is weird to me. Babies are babies, the differences really shouldn't matter when they are that young. Try thinking about all the ways you think that boy or girl label is important and you'll realize it isn't necessary except that we'd need pre-gendered pronouns. And that isn't very difficult either.

  • @Pituzer
    @Pituzer 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I want to hug you, you are great.

  • @alessandraferrara240
    @alessandraferrara240 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Great talk , l do not agree with everything you said but it was a real pleasure listening to your intelligent speech.

  • @missmichelle1627
    @missmichelle1627 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    We can break the prison of gender identity by conforming to it?

  • @turbosaleen347
    @turbosaleen347 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Present yourself anyway you want. Man/woman girl /boy I personally don’t care . Dress however you like 👍. If people don’t accept you that’s their problem.

  • @Vic2point0
    @Vic2point0 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You can't change your gender. And I don't believe that people are asking you whether you're a man or woman; I think they're telling you "Sir, you cannot go into the women's restroom because you're a man". They're not the ones confused. But if you can't even give a definition for "man" or "woman", you're the confused one.
    Also, no, you shouldn't be speaking to children about this, whether they ask about it or not.

  • @Tom-rt9ch
    @Tom-rt9ch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She said “6 in 1,000 = 6%.” I’m trying to better understand the science behind gender dysphoria. This did not help, unfortunately.

  • @bryn1890
    @bryn1890 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Why didn't it occur to him to say to children who asked about his genitalia, 'that's not an appropriate topic to discuss with a stranger.'
    A normal person talking about their genitals to children would be accused of grooming. Why is this bloke given a free-pass? It's because people are embarrassed or scared to challenge his behaviour for fear of being called transphobic or prejudiced. The result is that a serious problem that might be a mental health issue, a personality disorder, or just the behaviour of a sociopath is able to proliferate unchecked.

  • @steffenchristiansen8288
    @steffenchristiansen8288 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    So Amazing!!! And So true. Coming out as nonbinary, masculine expressing has made my life so much better, even if I have to fight the negativity. To be treated as a person as myself is really the only desire I have. Thanks for your advocacy and I hope to be in you shoes someday.

  • @ryr1974
    @ryr1974 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Great sensible and engaging speaker. Nice to hear someone discuss gender and trans issues without just spouting the standard and often I'll founded terms and official doctrines of the new millennium gender ideology

  • @JaceGem
    @JaceGem 9 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Absolutely splendid, well delivered, and very thought provoking. Well done Rikki! This is especially important to me because I'm transgender too, and I've experienced hate crimes in my own life from my own family and even people I didn't know, despite being only 18. Breaking these rigid rules we've got set up and ending gender could open up so many possibilities and change the way people look at the world and at each other, and in my opinion that's something worth working towards.

  • @Envision_
    @Envision_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Stop calling autogynephillic men who pretend to be women she and her. Just stop!

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well - Just knowing that you support the work of Ray Blanchard is enough for me to know you are probably more than a little biased. The Clarke institute in Toronto is notoriously in favour of reparative therapies. You are clearly not trans, so why do you present views that suggest you have some understanding of the topic.

  • @justindrakecroft
    @justindrakecroft 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is great. She really outlined all the basics and the issues extremely well. Thank you Rikki! This is a great primer for anyone who is curious about gender identity issues.

    • @califtom
      @califtom 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      There are only two genders. Biology and facts don't care about your feelings

    • @mikewade777
      @mikewade777 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thomas B the "feeling" are hardwired from biolagy.

    • @zaynahmed
      @zaynahmed 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He

    • @josstrebe6302
      @josstrebe6302 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@zaynahmed he*?

  • @esdee4996
    @esdee4996 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Wonderful talk

    • @ems3991
      @ems3991 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yay sexism and misogyny...

    • @Rivenlore99
      @Rivenlore99 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ems3991 What do you mean?

  • @yolybaker6997
    @yolybaker6997 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    +Rikki Arundel, as a mother of Andy soon to morph into who he was really borned, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. He is loved by both myself and his Dad, and we support him on his journey from FtM. Thank you and a hug!

  • @sunningwellvillagehall66
    @sunningwellvillagehall66 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Anyone mind if I don't "challenge gender"? I have so much else on my plate. btw, this doesn't conflict in my mind with the last sentence of this talk.

  • @gananoquepridealliance2022
    @gananoquepridealliance2022 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    COULD.NOT.LOVE.THIS.MORE. WILL SHARE THIS AT OUR HIGH SCHOOL'S GSA (which we can the Radical Equity Movement - REM) THIS WEDNESDAY. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!

  • @kuroichan101
    @kuroichan101 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was seriously a great talk. I deserves more views.

  • @GaraksApprentice
    @GaraksApprentice 9 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I loved this. I'd like to say thank you, in particular, for bringing up gender variance as it relates to transgender issues, and how the two are not the same thing. I fall into the gender variant category (genderfluid, specifically) and it's amazing how many misunderstandings trying to explain that concept can bring up.

  • @FreddoGirl121520
    @FreddoGirl121520 9 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Does anyone know where I can find the transcript for this?

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +FreddoGirl121520 - just under the video above - click on MORE and then TRANSCRIPT

    • @FreddoGirl121520
      @FreddoGirl121520 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Rikki Arundel Ok thank you so much! Loved the video! I'm doing a presentation on your TED talk in a few weeks, I'm hoping to get the message across to my classmates ;)

    • @josstrebe6302
      @josstrebe6302 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Trans*

  • @15azurad
    @15azurad 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I believe in respect and equal rights, I don't think is needed to change a whole society to change this mentality. I also believe that labels separate people because it creates a sense of groups. Once people start to understand their self as human beings (same group) with different necessities the world will start to get better.

  • @Brookeyp123
    @Brookeyp123 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is so incredibly powerful, moving, and important. For me, it struck a nerve of integrity - standing up for what I know and feel is right, Rikki, thank you for sharing this and reminding me of this. I am completely in awe and will be sharing this as widely as I can!

  • @Asaadnortina
    @Asaadnortina 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    the people that dont understand Simpy dont want to understand. thats the problem!

  • @nobody-bb4di
    @nobody-bb4di 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thankyou for this talk, Rikki. You have a great sense of humour which helps lighten things up a little for people who might feel uncomfortable with this topic, which needs to be discussed!

  • @mrs6100
    @mrs6100 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m sure you are a decent person. But please don’t lie about your intentions here. It is not complicated.... people just need to treat people with courtesy and decency even if they disagree with each other.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am not sure why you think I would not treat everyone with dignity and respect. My intentions were very clear - to try to help people to understand that some people experience gender differently.

  • @BelieveInImagination
    @BelieveInImagination 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hey, I'm trying to figure this out: If men were allowed to dress and act like a 'tomgirl' the way women can be a 'tomboy', would there be less of these different gender identities? Because it seems like creating a different identity was trying to make up for the lack men as 'tomgirls'. I'm trying to understand this.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good question. Part of the problem is that we don't say 'tomgirl' - the opposite to 'tomboy' is 'sissy'. statistics indicate that about 80% of trans people are male to female - however, over the past decade that has been changing with a huge increase in female to male trans people seeking clinical support and that has led to the backlash against trans people by some radical feminists. The biggest problem for trans people is the lack of social acceptance. If it were socially OK for men to express themselves in a feminine way would that result in fewer trans women wanting to undergo surgery? Possibly.
      There are certainly more people beginning to identify as non-binary - though some of them are still seeking surgery and/or hormone treatment. We all seem to have an overwhelming need to 'fit in' - to be part of the 'in-group'. So if there is a large enough new tribe or in-group for me to join perhaps I won't need to fit in to the majority male or female in-groups. The reality is that it's likely that there will eventually be more gender identities rather than less as we construct more social identities that I can choose from.

  • @jim6363
    @jim6363 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is important for everyone. I believe most of people dont fit 100% in their gender boxes. People are so multiple and this have something to do with freedom. Freedom to be who you are. If you put a blue cloth in your kid you saying, treat him like a boy, you're ignoring that that kid might be sensible, that kid might not enjoy competition too much and there's nothing wrong with it. It's just his personality. Even if in the future he wont dress himself with dresses and skirts, still. Children must be free to be who they are regardless of those made up rules.

  • @MargaretReeceauthor
    @MargaretReeceauthor 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for giving this talk Rikki. It is a very important issue. I worked many years of my career in Obstetric & Gynecology departments. Indefinite gender is more widespread than people understand. I hope all who hear this talk will take your advice and treat everyone with dignity and respect because if they do not they will offend someone they know without realizing it.

  • @happythoughts7792
    @happythoughts7792 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Interesting to watch. Great presentation. Really enjoyed listening to this speaker. Still not convinced that a person's philosophy of gender is an accurate way to identify gender. Still think biologically people are male or female. The argument presented seems to display that the speaker has stereotyped how men or women think and then concluded that he thinks more like a female; thus he identifies as a female. The reality is that if he was born with male genitalia and he feels he thinks similarly to the way women think; that doesn't make him a women, it just means he is thinking. It seems he boxed his philosophical framework into how men and women think, and than identified himself according to his own perceived framework.
    In reality, he is just a man who has thoughts and is simply attempting to justify his desire to identify as a women. At the very end where he encourages others to cross-dress is an attempt to validate how he thinks as being correct. I disagree and I think it confuses younger people. The speaker also appeals to gender being determined by how he "feels," which is an irrational basis for determining gender. People can "identify" as a different gender, but they are still biologically a male or female from birth. The "gender identity" isn't the truth of their gender but simply a philosophical framework constructed for themselves; completely subjective and doesn't line up with an objective reality. Subjectively gender is based on feelings and people own versions of what's true to them. Objectively gender is based upon biological evidence of a persons genitalia from birth. Simply put, the speaker is a male but likes to dress as a women and wants those feelings validated by society.
    I love the speaker, but I disagree that men should dress as women. Men don't dress as women because it confuses children and makes them question if gender is real or a mental state as explained in this video. An explaining to children the mutilation of your genitalia to switch biological genders is incredible disturbing for them. Very cruel to put that imagery in the head of children for the sake of your own personal agenda. It also encourages children to mutilate themselves to switch genders.
    The presentation was interesting, but I am still convinced that "gender identity" is an attempt to escape what someone was born into. I understand that there is a perceived "freedom" in being able to identify as different genders. Seems like a logical thing when a person has no objective basis for why they ought to be the gender they were born with. All reality is subjective and personal preference as explained by the speaker. Unless you believe in an objective authority that is more than a persons opinion; which is only possible if God exists. "Gender identity" is rational to a person who denies Gods existence, but is clearly irrational to a person who believes that God exists because God would be an objective standard to this issue. Without God there is no objective standard. The topic of gender identity is a clear side effect of a person not having any objective perception of reality, living in a completely subjective state of mind.
    Don't believe this gender identity non-sense, what it preaches to fix is a lie. You were born biologically as a male or a female. God has a plan and purpose for your life. He wants to use you. God takes the lost, the heavy burdened and gives them rest. Do not trust what society tells you because they are the blind leading the blind. Just as this speaker thought it perfectly fine to explain the mutilation of a persons genitalia to children. Pick up your Bible or download a Bible app on your phone. Ask Jesus Christ into your heart, and learn the objective truth about life. You don't have to be lost, God can find you and shine his light on you. God leaves the 99 who are already saved, just to find you, the one who is lost. He is the good Sheppard and takes care of his flock. This speaker does not care for you, he cares for his own personal agenda.

    • @kenji214245
      @kenji214245 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have to give it to you. You had me in the first half. Then you mentioned a Deity and it quickly went south XD
      On the rest i think on one hand you are on to something. But on the other hand you might be missing something. Hmm

  • @charlesdawkins5921
    @charlesdawkins5921 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    My god, I love you Rikki

  • @yansaturn2509
    @yansaturn2509 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Your beauty is emanating from your heart deep inside!

  • @TigerPrawn_
    @TigerPrawn_ 9 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Beautiful. PLEASE CAN I DO THAT MASTER'S DEGREE?

    • @blackhatter011
      @blackhatter011 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Only if you want a low paying job.

    • @jeffreynelson2660
      @jeffreynelson2660 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      In this crazy world, all you have to do is self identify as a person with a master's degree...

    • @gerrysong6908
      @gerrysong6908 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      i mean, sure. But you re gonna get a bad job. And if you do, dont blame it on your major

    • @jeffreynelson2660
      @jeffreynelson2660 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@gerrysong6908 Just self identify as someone who has a great job.

    • @gerrysong6908
      @gerrysong6908 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jeffrey Nelson aaah, a man of good ideas I see...

  • @alexkaouris6755
    @alexkaouris6755 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lack of self knowledge brings birth to a host of misconceptions about anything that sorrounds us and we quickly learn to justify and hastily explain our viewpoint as a consolation for that lack. A simple check on the life of such personns can show the causes that led to that direction. Usually boils to lazyness of mind being the primal culprit which pushes such people to busy themselfs with every useless and futile topic they find within the reach of their hungry-for-whatever-the-wind-brings mind, as an attempt to feel important and special. Perhaps it would be very good for the existence of such people to put them and learn how to work with earth. At least this would clear and quice their minds and then suddenly the answers to real questions will come and the faulse questions will disappear as if they never existed.

  • @TheBrazenCarcharger
    @TheBrazenCarcharger 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    The problem I see with this is the rising popularity of criticism of people who disagree with this movement. As well as the compulsion of certain language. Which doesn't work constitutionally. Not to discredit anybody's feelings.

  • @albertcombrink3717
    @albertcombrink3717 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Moving and thought provoking, thank you

  • @1shARyn3
    @1shARyn3 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Nice outfit!
    (seriously)

  • @thedukeofweasels6870
    @thedukeofweasels6870 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I understand where she's coming from I get the point that it's a lot harder to be MTF or any AMAB that presents or identifies in any nonconforming way but I really think this is ignoring a different struggle faced by the other side.
    What you have to understand is this there is a negative by product that comes with this freedom of expression that happens when you're AFAB. It makes it so much harder to show you're gender identity . she's ignoring how much it hurts to keep heading in the male direction trying so hard to make them see the real you but it isn't until you're at the far end of that spectrum and then suddenly "butch lesbian" and that's it!!! um like nope, asexual transman here but than they just shout "triggered" at me and tell me to go back tumbler, I don't even have a fucking tumbler account, asshole!!!! Sometimes being invisible hurts just as much as being hated even if it is safer. Just because we have the freedom to express ourselves more openly doesn't change the internal disparity inside and sometimes just being a tomboy or a masculine female isn't enough but that's all where ever seen as. because it's so socially accepted to be a masculine female there's a pressure on you to believe this is all you are and actually considering the fact that there is something more to it just doesn't happen!
    If a trans woman wants to boldly and proudly state "I'm a woman!" she can just wear a dress or women's clothing and makeup and be a woman and while she'll get some hate she'll also get some support. But I've been instinctively dressing from the men's department almost my entire life and nobody knew I was trans not even me!!! all of those wasted years of not being or even knowing my true self!!! So now what do I do, unless I'm completely ready to fully transition which isn't for everybody knowing this about myself changes nothing!! I'll still always appear to be a tomboy or a masculine woman I'll never feel like a man and that kind of hurts too. but I guess it's better than fearing for my life every time I leave the house so I do have to remember I am talking from a place of privilege in a sense.
    When simply presenting in a non-gender conforming way we definitely have an advantage but I think after we actually do come out trans men are not taken as seriously. Actually according to mainstream society we don't even exist. Because they can't paint us in the scary transphobic "creepy guy in a dress" light so we actually devalue their position they simply erase us from the conversation altogether. Again it's both a blessing and a curse I guess.
    Well shit, now I just sound like an asshole! I'm so sorry! I'm not making much sense but I hope somebody gets my point!

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I so understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. I have friends in the exact position you are in and while out seemed at first to me as a trans woman that trans men had an easier path, the more I have met and spoken to trans men the more I realise that it is just a different set of problem equals as traumatic.
      I have friends who have to bind huge breasts - I know trans women who live comfortably as women and have never had to have surgery but can pass easily - trans men don't have that option - if you want to live as men you have to have some surgery. OK once a trans man decides to fully transition - testosterone will after a couple off years ensure that you can blend in easily as a man - provided you have chest reconstruction - but so many trans men I know have already had children and cannot face the social rejection of transition.
      I think people just don't get that most trans men and trans women never transition - they just find a way to cope - its not a perfect solution - but its the best of a set of bad options.
      Personally I'd like to see a breakdown of the gender binary - why not have three or five genders - or hey - why not a thousand different genders. why cant we all be ourselves and be somewhere between male and female on a continuum - pan gender and pan sexual. at least then even though that does not fully solve the problem of feeling that we have the wrong body - it makes the coping strategies more tolerable.

  • @serraven4838
    @serraven4838 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The only thing I'm not sure about here is the idea it's harder for men to come out as women. Yes with clothes, as was said, but as ftm I have never been taken seriously by any doctor. Tried since I was 15 (am double that now) but they refuse to take my baby incubator away because I'm a woman and should breed. My partner however was taken seriously on her first visit to her doc to start reassignment from mtf. I don't understand this. :( The public trans women I know get high fived and complimented. Trans guys get, ha, yeah right. So is my experience.)

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I do understand your challenge Ser. I acknowledge that transmit do get a raw deal from the medical profession and that transition and especially gender reassignment surgery is a much longer, more difficult, more complex and painful process than mtf. Its the social transition where I think trans women have a more difficult time and that seems to be born out by the significant difference in the number of people identifying as trans women compared to trans men.
      It is easier for a trans man to pass, or even to simply continue to identify as a woman yet largely live as if a man - although I accept that often means being perceived or identifying as a butch lesbian. The reason I commented pin this is because of the difference in numbers of trans men compared to trains women.
      I cannot believe that this difference is a reality, especially having seen how many trans men sought help when I ran a support organisation, and the number of women I come across who tell me they would transition if it were not for their parents, children, friends, work etc etc - Fear of humiliation or embarrassment is a very real problem and if a woman has children, mores I think than for a man which ics illustrated by the huge number of men who came out as trans and transition late in life.

    • @serraven4838
      @serraven4838 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Rikki Arundel It's a tricky one isn't it love? Yes I can "get away with" wearing male clothes but I'm still seen as female. And we can't know about the social side until more of us are in the open I suppose. Docs need to take us seriously for that though. I just see mtf's being accepted in ways I'm laughed at for. (Including by docs.) Really though I'm being refused help to transition and I wonder how many other ftm's are being refused and being confused with "not having to transition". As for humiliation, it's more the people around us feeling humiliated who then attack us with shame that's more of a problem. I could never tell my father for example.
      Incidentally, my (also trans) wife to be says it's reassuring to get a well thought out reply from an intelligent person on TH-cam for a change. Think you made her day. :)

    • @serraven4838
      @serraven4838 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Rikki Arundel Actually, would it be okay if I PM'd you at all? I live in a place that has no gender support at all. Would be nice if it did. Kind of relying on TH-cam etc at the minute. Would be nice to speak to someone who's run a group before. :)

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No problem - to be honest there is not a lot of support anywhere these days - I'm not a counsellor - my partner is so I may point you to her - but in the first instance - just check out my website at www.genderspeaker.com - there is a contact form there and lets see how I can help.

    • @serraven4838
      @serraven4838 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Rikki Arundel Thank you kindly Rikki. I'll contact you via your site. :) Having a read now. x

  • @danijel57
    @danijel57 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for sharing! Very insightful.

  • @timmieflock4206
    @timmieflock4206 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is such an awesome TED Talk. Thank you for this.

  • @TheFreshspidey
    @TheFreshspidey 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Amazing speech I loved it. Thank you!

  • @zoeduricin1452
    @zoeduricin1452 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im just a little confused about the gender assignment part of the presentation because the speaker is conforming to the female gender stereotype, wearing clothes and having hair like a female. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't that go against the idea that gender shouldn't be categorised into boys and girls things. If gender was an issue, surely a new type of clothing should be created and new types of products for those that don't conform to genders?

  • @vanderbiltst
    @vanderbiltst 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Need to get a big shovel for this sociology 101 lesson.

  • @me11428
    @me11428 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are awesome!! this video changed my life!

  • @oaesan
    @oaesan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Lord Jesus, heal our broken world.

    • @monke204ah
      @monke204ah 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Amen

    • @speedos
      @speedos หลายเดือนก่อน

      Jesus was pro-trans.

  • @robertszontagh1297
    @robertszontagh1297 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It’s ironic that the ad that played before this video for me was a product called “Dude Wipes”. Anyway, this type of thinking , and all its variations stem from self-centered people with “issues” playing make believe. No I don’t celebrate this nonsense. Yes, I can hear the name calling from those who disagree. The intolerance in the name of tolerance is something to behold!

    • @CR-wk2re
      @CR-wk2re 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oppressive tolerance.

  • @Marbledesertproductions
    @Marbledesertproductions 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I identify as transagenderneturalfluidotherkin.

  • @doggiesarus
    @doggiesarus 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This touched me so much! Thank you!

  • @calebpeters6267
    @calebpeters6267 8 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Talking about the end of the video here, so basically i should have to go out and make myself uncomfortable so you dont have to feel insecure or bullied? Why should i have to make myself feel "insecure" because you dont have the self esteem to deal with the "bullying." You are the one who accepted the gender change? shouldnt you be prepared for the so called harassment?

    • @cutecats532
      @cutecats532 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You don't have to do anything. The point was, if you want to understand and help make others understand and accept... It's a call to action. A way the audience can help. A very basic element of a good presentation. Well done and funny to boot.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Are you suggesting that bullying is OK? If anyone is different from the majority it's OK for the majority to bully them?
      So if a muslim woman lives in a largely Christian community it's ok to bully her from being different. If someone lives in a city where they are in a minority is it OK for the majority to bully and harass them for being different.
      Most people who change gender can simple blend in and no-one would know - but a few of us look trans - why should we be bullied just because we want to dress and act in a way that if more comfortable for us just because that is different. We are not harming anyone just getting on with life.
      So if you have a problem with this YES it is you who has to change because in a civilised society BULLYING and HARASSMENT are WRONG.

    • @calebpeters6267
      @calebpeters6267 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Rikki Arundel I'm not saying that bullying is alright. I'm saying why should i have to go out and change my ways because you decided to change yours? I'm not responsible for your actions. You know the consequences that comes with getting a gender change, so why do I have to change my ways because you cant handle the consequences?

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      " You know the consequences that comes with getting a gender change..." OK so what are those consequences. I change my gender and as far as you or anyone else is concerned all that happens is that I wear different clothes. Sadly because when I was young the option of changing early was not really available I hid how I felt and tried to live as a man. When I finally found the courage to change it was difficult if not impossible to completely hide the fact that I was born with a male body - and it is that which has led to years of discrimination, harassment and bullying.
      Are those the consequences that come with getting a gender change - being bullied because I cannot hide the fact that I was born with a male body? I am not asking you to change anything - just allow me to be me. Allow me to wear whatever I chose to wear without ridiculing me, or attacking me, or harassing me.
      And allow me to use an appropriate public convenience when I need to. I am not a threat and there is no evidence that trans people are a threat. If someone passes - i.e. they look completely and convincingly the men or women they wish to be no-one will even notice them - it's only if we can't hide deep voices, or large hands or breasts that the problems start.
      Can you imagine how scary it is for us always wondering if some bigot is going to challenge us and humiliate us in public because we don't "pass". Terrified to walk down a street alone in case we get attacked. Frightened to be near children in public in case someone shouts pedo. We just want to get on with out lives without fear - and all you have to do if you cannot accept us is just ignore us and let us get on with our lives.

    • @calebpeters6267
      @calebpeters6267 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +Rikki Arundel Honestly i don't care if people get gender changes. its not my problem, but i just don't think the 99.9% should have to change for the .01%. And like you said most people don't notice it. but if they do and on the very rare occasion they say something in public (online does NOT count). Let it go, i mean if i lived off of what people called me i would have turned out horrible! learn how to defend yourself, don't have a pity party because someone called you something. if you guys wouldn't bring problems where there aren't any, you really wouldn't have problems at all. because like you said no one would notice. dont complain if there arent any lgbt people in a movie, or dont put yourself out there that you are a trans person. people would ignore you guys. mans heart is born evil deep down, i believe. so there will always be rude people. so dont put yourself out there to get attacked. that's why i don't believe i should have to change to fit your needs.

  • @frederickbornemann6677
    @frederickbornemann6677 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So I call someone a guy, they want to be identified as a girl. I'm harassing them? I am not violating that person's dignity. "Dignity is the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically." I still value and respect the person. What exactly makes gender a "relevant protected characteristic" if they are biologically a male or female? I'm open to have someone change my mind. I challenge someone to change my mind with facts, data and percentages. Biased opinions or feelings aren't going to change my mind.

  • @Rivenlore99
    @Rivenlore99 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh my god I love the accent!

  • @CyrillKR
    @CyrillKR 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I was born male and today I still identify as male.
    Why?
    Well I heard there's privilege for guys
    Though I'm still waiting to find that rumored "privilege"...

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      CyrillKR Try living as a woman for a while and you will very quickly experience the loss of privilege.

    • @CyrillKR
      @CyrillKR 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ok, try living as a man and get that "privilege" back.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I didn't say I wanted it back - I'm happy to join other women in the fight to remove the social bias that privileges men, a fight I was already engaged in long before I decided to face the challenges of changing gender. That said I do know of a number of trans women who have done exactly as you suggest - they were unable to cope with the loss of privilege and have reverted to living as men.

    • @charlottevandoren9983
      @charlottevandoren9983 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Males do have male privilege, definitely. But women have female privilege too in inverse ways. Men historically have more respect and freedoms but they have the burden of more responsibilities and pressure. Women historically have less respect and less freedom but also less pressure and fewer responsibilities.

    • @yakkyjoe1
      @yakkyjoe1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are not a woman sweetheart. You are a delusional biological man.

  • @CorvusCorax.
    @CorvusCorax. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    First World problem extraordinaire 😛

  • @KenzieMcBeautiful
    @KenzieMcBeautiful 9 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is beautiful

  • @Firearcher4
    @Firearcher4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This person on stage is a MAN.

  • @phqutub
    @phqutub 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You label it as cross dressing yourself because you wanted to be more specific and not confusing.

  • @jacopopeterman4703
    @jacopopeterman4703 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel intimidated and harassed by the group of people who force their sexual preferences on me.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual preference and no one is forcing anything on you - you choose how to present yourself. Forcing any sexual activity on anyone is a crime - whatever your sexual preferences. if you fee intimidate or harassed by my presence then it is y9u who has a problem. I sometimes feel intimidated by the presence loud and aggressive people, but unless that aggression is directed towards me no crime has been committed and I have to deal with my fears.

  • @Tom-de5jf
    @Tom-de5jf ปีที่แล้ว

    What is going on, why is OK to make fun of me but not you.

  • @VAMR-vc7xg
    @VAMR-vc7xg 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Why is gender identity so important? It isn't.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      If it is not important, why is there so much discrimination against people who do not conform to gender norms? Why do people become so offensive and hateful towards anyone who is trans or non-binary?

  • @SeagullB
    @SeagullB 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tell me something I dont know

  • @Jojo-sb1xs
    @Jojo-sb1xs 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    ❤❤❤

  • @bobwellington7580
    @bobwellington7580 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's not, except for the two pronouns for the only two genders. Male or female, he or she.

  • @GemmaCrow
    @GemmaCrow 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, really great talk, I took a lot from your insights. x

  • @kristijanshamanov3369
    @kristijanshamanov3369 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Humanity is slowly crumbling...I am fine with people doing whatever makes their life experiance happier. But you cannot force your view upon yourself on society. If someone is behaving differantly, he cannot inforce that diferance upon those around him. You cannot force me to pretend that you are something youre not. Thats all I have to say upon this subject. (Again, don't want to offend anyone, you are free to do as you please. As long as you don't force me pretend as if that were the only truth)

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I am not forcing anything on anyone. If I was born male and transitioned to female and looked and sounded like every another female you would simply accept me as female. You would have no basis for not doing so. I suspect that you have already met men who were born with female bodies and not realised. But if I have had to go through puberty as a man and then change and have to live with a deep voice, big hands, wide shoulders etc - no matter how much surgery etc I have I am probably not going to pass 100%. But does that male me any less the woman I feel myself to be that the trans woman who is indistinguishable from other women?
      So what you are saying is that you refuse to acknowledge me as female even if the law has decided that I am female, if I don't look and sound female enough. Well here's the law - If you do not accept me as a female it is harassment - and that could cost you your job and a huge fine. If you get aggressive about you view it is a hate crime and that is a criminal offence which could land you in prison and make it difficult for you to ever work again.
      I expect to be treated with dignity and respect and most people do just that. It's when people refuse to do that that humanity starts to crumble.

    • @mikewade777
      @mikewade777 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nothing is being forced you. You can chose to ignore them, they can chose to ignore you. "Pretend" no there is no pretending!

  • @whereweregoingwedontneedey4374
    @whereweregoingwedontneedey4374 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Not a bad talk - Rikki seems to have a great personality

  • @kimferronato502
    @kimferronato502 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What part of science do you not understand. There is xx and xy. God created them male and female. Your problem is that you've rejected the Knowledge of God Repent and accept Jesus Christ as your saviour and you'll begin to think clearly and properly. Sin always brings confusion, and clearly you are confused.

  • @athenachase3735
    @athenachase3735 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    💝

  • @xluiii
    @xluiii 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    If a female likes females but is not a lesbian but has no interests in men what gender identity does she have?
    (There i did it janet you happy?)

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +Chompy Rocks You are confusing gender identity and sexual orientation. Gender Identity is about how she sees herself - not who she is attracted to.

    • @xluiii
      @xluiii 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Rikki Arundel she kept bugging me to comment this oh well lol
      Ill make sure to tell my friend thanks :)

  • @reza310
    @reza310 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Please read my comment completely and then judge or debate it , i respect good well point discussion.
    Biologically and genetically you are either a male or female and this is a fact, if you feel like another gender or decide to dress or act like another that doesn’t change this fact. Yes ofcourse we respect your decision but it is unreasonable to expect whole society change and change its linguistic upon your wish . Now a days when you are registering in to anything in western countries there is a long list of genders and pronouns that doesn’t make sense and most people don’t even know what they are and this list is continuing, we respect your decision and feelings but this is going too far

  • @thl7652
    @thl7652 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So 99.7% of society needs to change so 0.3% of people with psychological problems can feel more comfortable? And doing so doesn’t help these people in the long run anyways? Bad idea. How about instead of free surgery, they get psychological help instead and we don’t have to change facts on science and nature.

  • @qjsound
    @qjsound 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Awesome talk. Thanks Rikki.

  • @UnnamedArchive
    @UnnamedArchive 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You did a great job, thank you.

  • @misaeltony2523
    @misaeltony2523 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This man so confused .

  • @brechelt1
    @brechelt1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Would it be safe to say that all this talk of "Gender" and "Sex" is misleading and helping nobody. What's wrong with being a man who likes things society considers "girly?" If society were to stop labeling "girl toys" and "boy toys" (etc.) and anyone could play, read, wear, do anything any other person could do, wouldn't we not be having this conversation? I believe so, and if a man dresses in (what we consider now to be girly) clothing, it would just be a man wearing (what we consider now to be girly) clothing, right? He would still be a man. (If it's so hard to define "man" and "woman" as many other posts point out, then would it be unfair to say that Rikki is a "man who likes feminine clothing, etc.," and just leave it and accept it as that? I ask because I think more people would be accepting of that premise than trying to not-define things we've all been defining for 1000's of years, which apparently have become hard to define all the sudden.)

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Actually no - it would not be safe to say that. Yes there are some men and women who prefer to wear the clothing usually associated with theoposi=te gender and YES I would love for the world to stop gendering clothing and toys. Research suggests that at least 10% of people ( probably a lot more) are no=t comfortable with their gender in some way or another - i=e they do not conform to gender norms - However there is a small but significant number of people for whom this sense of discomfort with their birth gender is so acute that they would rather die than have to face a life in the wrong gender. And there are as many who face that extreme discomfort but choose to hide how they feel and live in torment.
      This condition is called Gender Dysphoria, it is a condition that has been well known and diagnosed for well over 100 years. Looking at the history there is also evidence of people having this condition dating back 4000 years. Sadly, like homosexuality, people with this condition have been often persecuted, even executed or worse due largely to religious bigotry. Joan of Ark, for example, was burned at the stake for cross-dressing - and there are countless examples of men and women pilloried, imprisoned and abused throughout history for gender non-conformity.
      So it's not that all of a sudden we are not accepting rigid gender stereotyping - it's that now, thanks to global communications, we are able to join together in opposing the oppressive behaviour of mostly religious bigots.

  • @davidstafford5249
    @davidstafford5249 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is the way I see things put in a simple way. The whole point of a species is to thrive and continue to grow and expand. In order the reproduce humans require a male and a female to do this. these are the 2 genders that exist. They both play different yet extremely importany roles in the survival of the species. Now what we have is males and females wanting to be identified as something else than what they are born as. I believe they should be aloud to express these feelings by say acting like the opposite sex or dressing like them. the problem occurs where there are 2 true genders (Male and Female)and you are born as one or the either. You can express what you want to feel you are the opposite sex, i dont see anything wrong with that. what i dont like is the ignorance of some people when it comes to this subject. there are 2 genders that play essential roles in the survival of the human species and thats biologically proven. you cannot deny that this is true and most that do are thinking in blind stupidity. while i think its ok for people to express who they want to be (its a basic human right) you cant deny that truly there are 2 genders.

    • @Canemikat
      @Canemikat 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      There are 2 common genders but the gender binary is mostly a western idea. There are cultures that recongize 5 genders, even more. Also intersex people exist and have always existed (as well as trans, homo, bi, non-binary, genderfluid, asexual, etc). I get the biological argument but to narrow down the whole point of human existence to procreation ignores the complexity of life and the universe, our minds are just as important as producing more minds. I disagree with the idea that the whole point of life is to reproduce. Thats a part of life not the end goal.

    • @Canemikat
      @Canemikat 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's becoming the new model from what I've seen. I've also seen gender maps which are very complex. There's even some room to go off the slider (non-binary)

  • @Achilles94627
    @Achilles94627 9 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Good talk. I found it very interesting. But men and women, boys and girls, ARE different. Gender stereotypes are not "man-made". They are formed by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution on this planet. It's obvious why girls (in general) like to play with dolls - it appeals to their maternal instincts which have been ingrained in them over thousands of years. It's obvious why boys (in general) are attracted to action figures - it appeals to their sense of adventure and danger from when they were out hunting animals and defending the cave from intruders and enemies.Now you may not have experienced these feelings. And that's fine. I'm sure there are others like you. But the vast, vast, VAST majority of boys are happy to be boys and the vast, vast, VAST majority of girls are happy to be girls. I think it's very dangerous to start meddling with nature and saying how it's all society's fault for putting pressure on boys and girls to behave a certain way, when it's really just nature running it's course. Most boys WANT to play with action figures and most girls WANT to play with dolls. (They've done experiments even on chimpanzees which demonstrate this). I think we'll just be confusing young people if we keep fighting against nature.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 9 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      +Achilles94627 - "Most boys WANT to play with action figures and most girls WANT to play with dolls." I would tend to agree with this statement - but I am not sure that the evidence supports your assertion that it is the vast vast vast majority are happy with their gender. The truth is that we don't KNOW that. I am sure that it is probably the majority - but we begin "gendering" children from the moment they are born - even before if we know their sex before birth. We expect certain gender behaviour on the basis if a child's sex - and if a child starts to behave differently to this stereotype then encourage them to conform and that is the issue I was addressing. its not about messing with nature - it's about allowing children to behave and grow according to how they feel, rather than according to the way we think they should behave and feel.
      When I started work in 1969 women were still being sent home from work because they were wearing trousers. Imagine the reaction you would get if you tried that now. Yet if a man wore a skirt to work, many organisations would ask him to go home and change. If I describe someone as a dynamic and powerful leader - do you immediately think of a man? But describe a woman that way and many people would see her in a negative light because we are educated to expect a woman to be nurturing and supportive - equally good leadership qualities but not if I describing a man.
      It is very difficult to have a fair society when unconsciously we are all biased and that bias is mostly the result of persistent stereotyping. I am not advocating meddling with nature - just asking that we let nature takes its course without judgement - just let children be who they feel themselves to be

    • @jedimastereric
      @jedimastereric 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Rikki Arundel Rikki, I tend to agree with +Achilles94627 statement. I have been toiling with these questions as I have someone in my life that is transitioning. While I have no problems with this person personally, I do have many issues with the arguments that they present. Some of these arguments are the same ones you make in your wonderful talk.
      You stated above "we expect certain gender behaviour on the basis if a child's sex - and if a child starts to behave differently to this stereotype then encourage them to conform and that is the issue I was addressing." What I would like to explore is WHY we expect certain gender behavior. I believe the entire argument is about what we as society considers "normal." In most cases we grasp "normal" based on certain parameters that are drawn from the standard. This is not necessarily a bad thing. While you point out how these standards do not always apply, society shows that most times they do and that's why they exist. While these standards may cause people that are outside of that standard trouble, they also help society in many ways as well.
      I'm still exploring this topic, so I'm still learning and trying to keep an open mind, but it seems to me that what you are trying to accomplish is getting people that do not conform to the societal label of "normal" placed into that category. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that is possible. The standard is there for a reason. It does help the majority of people in their daily lives. Boys and girls DO treat each other differently. Its part of our social dynamic that has been built over centuries. The dynamic does not apply to every person, but it applies to MOST people.
      I do agree that each person has a right to be who they want to be. I'm not sure I agree with trying to change the standards of "normal" though. We don't have the ability to change normal on an individual basis. Normal is drawn from society as a whole.
      Thank you for reading. I would like to continue the conversation.

    • @skysurgeon
      @skysurgeon 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Achilles94627 i think u dont get the point is not to confuse young people. young people, and not so young too, are confused now. we must do the opposite, to make then see what's really happening. when everybody see a transgender and say "it's okay", only then the confusions will have ended.

    • @skysurgeon
      @skysurgeon 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +jedimastereric think about it: what is to be normal? can u point one person that is normal? and what are the reasons why the standards exists?

    • @skysurgeon
      @skysurgeon 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      and also, you are all only considering the culture you are inserted in. i'm sure there if a lot of boys and girls that have no idea what a doll or an action figure is.

  • @depaarsegoochelaar
    @depaarsegoochelaar 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for your story Rikki. :)

  • @wickedwonderingdream
    @wickedwonderingdream 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hermaphrodite yes I understand should be able to choose

  • @SeagullB
    @SeagullB 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very clearly a man with all due respect -maybe he needs to take more estrogane.
    It is very sad that gender is such an issue for him .It is without meaning really unless intending to procreate in which case it is vital to have the necessary equiptmement. otherwise -dress and act and look as you like but please don't be offended if you look like a man .
    There are MTF transgenders who can easily pass born with feminine look ,he/she IS NOT one of them .
    He looks like a he straight out of a little Britain sketch .
    GENDER IS ABOUT BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION .

  • @pixadragon46
    @pixadragon46 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    An easy answer to gender is whether they bear a child or they breed with a female

  • @ruthsrants8308
    @ruthsrants8308 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    🙌🙌🙌

  • @rajaclear967
    @rajaclear967 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    gender is not social construct

    • @KoatsNGoats
      @KoatsNGoats 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      True. I believe it is in the brain. You either feel comfortable with your... um... parts, or you don't. Emphasis on the believe. Im Open to other opinions and I know it's not 100% fact based.

  • @orgiadojosecastelobranco5416
    @orgiadojosecastelobranco5416 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    VOTE FOR EXO ON MAMA 2017 FIGHTING CARATS

  • @brunozoekteenjob
    @brunozoekteenjob 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel me harassed with those propaganda.
    Harassment please, milions of people who are spending 40 hours a week for a bit of money, get harassed by their boss.
    Their children get harassed because they are not dressed in the newest fashion, having a iPod,... because their parents have no money for obey the propaganda from TV.
    They done hara-kiri because they may not where girls clothes? please

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +bruno “brunozoekteenjob” zoekteenjob It is not just about clothes Bruno. Children born feeling they are the wrong gender as they reach puberty know their body will change in a way that to them is horrible. If you feel you should be a boy bt your body starts to grow breasts - of you feel you are a girl but your voice drop and you grow tall - for them they see only a life trapped in the wrong body and decide that it is better not to live.
      If they try to be the gender they feel - they face ridicule and humiliation. People laugh at them, make jokes physically assault them, bully them - and again many decide that it is better to die than face this harassment.
      Humiliation is the greatest fear humans have to face - what we need is for everyone to understand they we do not choose this - what we want more than anything is simply to be accepted for who we are - don't judge us, don't humiliate us - just accept us.- Please

  • @thegreatsirius1
    @thegreatsirius1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is so amazingly well done! Thank you!

  • @victorialove7672
    @victorialove7672 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    *TEDX IS GOING TO SHIT!*

  • @monkigunmkiiflash3110
    @monkigunmkiiflash3110 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a bunch of tripe.

  • @goawayleavemealone2880
    @goawayleavemealone2880 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Why is gender identity so important?
    It's not, the constant fixation on gender identity by people like yourself is not in anyway useful. You need to realise that gender roles came about through evolution, evolution didn't come about through gender roles. How you choose to express your gender is entirely up to you, but don't be surprised when people ignore you/don't like you.
    The only thing you're entitled to when you go against the norm is physical safety, people don't have to tolerate you and they don't have to accept you - as long as they don't physically hurt you.

    • @RikkiArundel
      @RikkiArundel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      But your comment tells me that gender identity, or at least gender expression, IS important to you. If people don't like me or tolerate me or accept me just because i express my gender in a way that is not the norm. Why does any9one have to conform to a stereotype - All I asking is that you do tolerate and accept me for who I am and not try to bully me into being who you want me to be.

    • @KoatsNGoats
      @KoatsNGoats 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Some people feel more comfortable k owing who they are and that there are others like them, so the give themselves labels. Nobody NEEDS labels, but some people feel more comfortable with them.

  • @d.e.b.b5788
    @d.e.b.b5788 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bestiality is illegal. So why is my dog humping my leg? Does he have to go to doggy jail? Or doesn't he care?

  • @dirtybutwhole7503
    @dirtybutwhole7503 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ah yes gender identity. The only part of you that is a complete illusion. Very important

  • @hustlebustle3986
    @hustlebustle3986 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Where do i sign up to identify as a potato?

  • @anthrograd13
    @anthrograd13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great talk from a great perspective. I'm starting to date someone who is agender so I'm learning as much as I can about gender identity, which is good considering
    I teach anthropology and sociology and need to know as much as possible. Thank you for your insight.