Affairs are fantasy relationships built on lust, marriages are practical relationships built on mutual respect and take hard work. The ugly truth is that temptations are part of life, and under the right(wrong) circumstances anyone can give themselves over to temptation and betray their vows, morals, spouse, family and even themselves. Getting married is far easier than staying married, which requires humility and the willingness to submit ourselves to something greater than our own feelings and open ourselves up to a level of intimacy that many are uncomfortable with if not incapable of.
@@ssiegreen5292The secular world sets people up for failure. Our romanticized outlook on life and marriage is literally no different than glorifying drug addiction. Love addiction follows the exact same neurological pathways. This is a place where once again Christianity shines. See waaaay back in the day when people were “stupid”, they understood that marriage took much more than feelings of love. They knew it took absolute surrender and sacrificial love. People can say what they want but the fact is, God’s law is a roadmap for living our best life.
@@johnsonjj117 Way back then - - - people were chattel and marriages were a contract or a business arrangement. They were managed & conditioned to behave in certain ways, because it pleased someone else - way above them, to keep them under control [especially by depriving the women the rights of ownership and self direction, which took care of 50% or more of the population]. Whether that was a ruler, a king or emperor or a god [christian or otherwise] doesn't matter. Wars and painstaking physical labor kept the men's natural aggression calmed, exhausted if not sedated, and physical labor + childbirth + family rearing did the same for women. The reason why relationships are so complex, contentious and shallow nowadays - is that people [men and women alike] are no longer exhausted from tedious detailed daily physical work + labor + transportation, and the fact that products + services are available with literally a push of a finger, as well as the unfiltered amount of useless information that is misleading and misdirecting and giving specifically the younger generations dumb ideas.
@ Again, you are speaking about the secular world which at the time glorified polygamy, women were seen as property and a man could divorce his wife for burning dinner. The Bible protected women from unfairly being sent away with no prospects of remarriage, told men that by doing that they were committing adultery, said one man and one woman should be the norm and even said men should love their wives as Christ loved the church which is a HIGH bar to reach. Think about just how radical that was and even still is.
So sorry your mom is not well. I hope she will feel better soon. Thank you for taking time during your stressful time to address all of us. Appreciate your insight.
I got my AP pregnant a year after separating from my wife and I’m so broken over it. She says she wants to keep the baby and I feel so broken with Shame and guilt. It all feels like bad dream and I don’t believe I want to be with her but she says she loves me. My own attachment issues got me into a huge problem and I feel like i ruined my life.
@@doomguy9049 AP aborted the kid. Ex and I had an awful relationship for years and then married. Should have left years ago. My own attachment issues from childhood blinded me to the serious problems.
My wife's affair partner dumped her after I found out and I have been my wife's 2nd choice for 17 years now. I love you = words she will never hear from me. I only stayed for the kids.
@@staceychenevert Before I met my wife I was 100% content with my life, good job, fun friends, plenty of women to date. Being content I never needed anyone, I actually enjoy being alone but I am stoic & I found my wife’s drama to be entertaining, up until she betrayed me. For me betrayal is a line that once crossed there is no return. For the kid’s sake until they graduate college I will always be nice to her & treat her with respect & provide the $$$ but if she left tomorrow I honestly would not care, for me she already feels like an ex-wife & I am sorry her lover left her because I know she would be happier with him. Hindsight I should have kept quiet & let them fall deeper in love so the other man would have stayed. I think my indifferent attitude comes from the fact that I am the kind of guy that women seek & since the age of 12 I have always lived in abundance when it comes to women, I never believed in the fantasy of a soulmate.
You’re so much sound like one of my friend with similar situations like you have. I would not ever forgot what he said, he stayed in this sexless marriage only for kids until they getting older exactly like what you said Here. You may gonna to meet a right person right woman of your life soon. This is what happened with my friend.
My sister just got a divorce from a long marriage. Turns out she was having an affair and this guy is 10 years younger than her too. She rushed to get her divorce finalized and after just a couple of months, she and her AP are engaged and she tells me “he’s my soulmate, I never knew love like this existed” etc etc etc etc. she has adult children who are understandably very upset and her ex is devastated. I am not sure how to support her because I think she is in an alternate reality and overly obsessed with this person- it’s like she turned into a 14 year old again!!! But I do love her and want the best for her. So far I’ve been saying I am happy for you, but I am worried you’re moving so fast. I just don’t understand any of this. What should I do to help or am I just watching a figurative car crash happen in slow motion?
Well I think you are handling it the right way by being there for her. You want to keep the lines of communication on, meaning where she feels she can come to you if she needs to. Because asue the stage she is in right now she will not listen to anything negative you have to say.
@@staceychenevert Thank you so much for the response!! I have noticed that anyone who says something negative she will say "I won't let them steal my happiness" whew. She is in deep. I will keep being there for her, but wow .... I can't handle this drama!
@lanawr80 She rushed to get divorced because she's deep in the affair fog, and she wants her fantasy life. Hopefully, her ex was smart and got a good settlement in the divorce using that affair fog to his advantage. Don't be surprised if she doesn't come crawling back to him when the fog lifts. Also, soulmate is garbage. It was a term written by a early 19th-century poet during a romanticized era in both the US and UK.
@@johnbattle7518 omg THANK YOU!!! From personal experience I know this and am bracing for her crash, but there’s that little voice that goes “maybe you’re wrong and you just need to find your perfect soul mate.” 🤦🏽♀️😖😩 I really appreciate your thoughts and I agree with you 100%
Temptation is always a struggle for anyone. Anyone can fall victim to infidelity, but it’s important to know what God says about adultery. Anyone who is in an affair should seek the word on this as God speaks directly to this matter and even to those who divorce their spouse, when the spouse hasn’t been unfaithful, and marry another… it’s all adultery in God’s eyes. So please get in the word and seek God’s face before you go divorcing your faithful spouse just so that you can feel guilt free about being with someone else, affair partner or not.
My ex-husband married his affair partner. They were together in their 20s and got separated by the military and found each other again on social media. He chose to divorce me and marry her. I’ve gotten over it and moved on with my life.
So being a cheater and unfaithful spouse gets you a job as a relationship expert? How tf can you give advice when you cannot follow your own? Seriously please reply, I'd like to know if you have an insecure attachment style cus you blame your husband for being a toxic person in first few minutes then later say he had attachment issues. But he didn't cheat, you did.
The best experts are the ones who have been through infidelity and grew from it. That way they can help others learn how to get free and come out a better person. I do not blame my husband for having an affair regardless of his attachment style it was still my choice to have an affair. But having an affair also doesn't negate the fact the marriage had problems that needed to be fixed in order to rebuild to a better place before. Ask yourself this when you look for help services do you look for someone who has experience or would you rather someone who is not trained ? Of course I'm a infidelity coach, I had an affair God changed me and my husband and saved my marriage so I am teaching others the path to forgiveness and restoration.
@@staceychenevert apologies if my reply sounded bad cus of lack of tone or emojis, but thank you for replying kindly... I have been cheated on many times by my fiance but it was only because I was toxic and made her feel bad about herself, I use to have BPD/AP but I'm working on a secure attachment. I thank you for replying and helping understand from Your pov
@@shortingthetrend Welcome, I'm so happy you are getting help for your attachment style because end the end it will lead you live a happier life and have healthier relationships
If you're in a shitty relationship why can't people just LEAVE BEFORE starting the new one. The old saying "How you found your partner is how you'll lose your partner." Jesus a serial cheater. Horrible. Did you cheater on your boyfriends also???
I used to say the same exact thing. Then had to realize the hard way once children, assets, etc are involved it changes how easy it is to "just leave." Some spouses don't make it easy to leave. There is a lot more gray in the world than I ever realized.
I am a certified relationship coach along with certifications in attachment to theory , transformation coaching and life coaching. With over 10,000 hours of coaching, which qualifies me an expert in my feild.
I was married right after high school , but after my freshman year of college. My ex husband left me for another young woman my age. They got married when she got pregnant. I used to wonder if they are happy. I don’t care anymore. I decided to move on and get married again. However, I think I moved too fast. Nevertheless, I’m determined to make it work just like I was last time. I know I want to have a family of my own and I intend to share my life with someone I love. Through the ups and downs as long as it’s not an abusive environment; I think it will last.
Things are never as they seem. The lie we believe is we will live happily ever after but the truth is we won't, all relationships take work. I'm sorry you went through this.
@@staceychenevert Trust is a huge issue and it should be mentioned. There are many individuals that see nothing wrong with cheating. Heard tons of these stories and it is always about trust or if bad things happen they feel it's their karma.
This scares me because my wife and the main affair partner where together most of our marriage and she had so much energy for him and it seems like she has none for me
I’m sorry. I’m currently going through a lot of pain too right now. My husband has been having on and off affair for 4 years now. He hasn’t left the home, but leans more towards her 😢 I’m so broken and leaning on God so heavily ❤️
Why is marriage the one and only relationship in which we are expected to only ever be able to love one person? We can love multiple children, parents, siblings, pets, etc but for some reason love stops at one for romance. It's literally built on controlling women and procreation and yet we still buy into it to this day.
See that's great that you are helping these women yet the future of women in their late 30's is going to be a great way to experience the exact same thing as the men in their 20's got to experience as the first emergency exit bubble is 25 to 30 for men and broken heart syndrome for women in their mid 40'sthen the next major age for men is 50 to 55 when a man loses everything that gave him motivation and honestly at that age a man has lived 90% of his life so why not exit and the superficial women can internalize it. Now these men will not have to take the exit when they understand women will receive the reciprocity and karma for the energy they gave will return to them plus the Universal Law - Attraction they will have a very entertaining life when they attract the energy they earned
After watching most of yiur videos how the heck can u deflect blame you cheated multiple times married your affair partner cheated on him like i hope you get help your insane no matter your redemption i hope you suffer guilt u ruined so many lifes
Oh wow you are very bitter and I hope you get the healing you need. Its so sad to see you wish pain on another all the while judging me for hurting people. Now that is what I call insane
Affairs are fantasy relationships built on lust, marriages are practical relationships built on mutual respect and take hard work. The ugly truth is that temptations are part of life, and under the right(wrong) circumstances anyone can give themselves over to temptation and betray their vows, morals, spouse, family and even themselves. Getting married is far easier than staying married, which requires humility and the willingness to submit ourselves to something greater than our own feelings and open ourselves up to a level of intimacy that many are uncomfortable with if not incapable of.
>>> marriages are practical relationships built on mutual respect
@@ssiegreen5292The secular world sets people up for failure. Our romanticized outlook on life and marriage is literally no different than glorifying drug addiction. Love addiction follows the exact same neurological pathways. This is a place where once again Christianity shines. See waaaay back in the day when people were “stupid”, they understood that marriage took much more than feelings of love. They knew it took absolute surrender and sacrificial love. People can say what they want but the fact is, God’s law is a roadmap for living our best life.
@@johnsonjj117 Way back then - - - people were chattel and marriages were a contract or a business arrangement.
They were managed & conditioned to behave in certain ways, because it pleased someone else - way above them, to keep them under control [especially by depriving the women the rights of ownership and self direction, which took care of 50% or more of the population]. Whether that was a ruler, a king or emperor or a god [christian or otherwise] doesn't matter. Wars and painstaking physical labor kept the men's natural aggression calmed, exhausted if not sedated, and physical labor + childbirth + family rearing did the same for women.
The reason why relationships are so complex, contentious and shallow nowadays - is that people [men and women alike] are no longer exhausted from tedious detailed daily physical work + labor + transportation, and the fact that products + services are available with literally a push of a finger, as well as the unfiltered amount of useless information that is misleading and misdirecting and giving specifically the younger generations dumb ideas.
@ Again, you are speaking about the secular world which at the time glorified polygamy, women were seen as property and a man could divorce his wife for burning dinner. The Bible protected women from unfairly being sent away with no prospects of remarriage, told men that by doing that they were committing adultery, said one man and one woman should be the norm and even said men should love their wives as Christ loved the church which is a HIGH bar to reach. Think about just how radical that was and even still is.
@@ssiegreen5292 Can't believe I'm just now seeing this reply but I agree 100%
Thank you for your wisdom. Praying as you balance life during this difficult time while caring for your mom.
Welcome, thank you for your prayers 🙏
So sorry your mom is not well. I hope she will feel better soon. Thank you for taking time during your stressful time to address all of us. Appreciate your insight.
Thank you for the kind words 💕
😍 I love you. Praying for you. You are my favorite person and I pray the Lord holds your heart.
Awe thank-you so much 💖 love you too
I got my AP pregnant a year after separating from my wife and I’m so broken over it. She says she wants to keep the baby and I feel so broken with Shame and guilt. It all feels like bad dream and I don’t believe I want to be with her but she says she loves me. My own attachment issues got me into a huge problem and I feel like i ruined my life.
Brutal. Why did you and your wife separate? What's your plan moving forward?
What about your wife? Are you interested on reconciliation?
@@hcc7691 she never seemed interested in working on the relationship in the first place, even before the affair.
@@doomguy9049 AP aborted the kid. Ex and I had an awful relationship for years and then married. Should have left years ago. My own attachment issues from childhood blinded me to the serious problems.
@@lmonahan3655 that’s a shame… She should’ve kept the baby. That’s an innocent child.
My wife's affair partner dumped her after I found out and I have been my wife's 2nd choice for 17 years now. I love you = words she will never hear from me. I only stayed for the kids.
I'm sorry to hear
@@staceychenevert Before I met my wife I was 100% content with my life, good job, fun friends, plenty of women to date. Being content I never needed anyone, I actually enjoy being alone but I am stoic & I found my wife’s drama to be entertaining, up until she betrayed me. For me betrayal is a line that once crossed there is no return. For the kid’s sake until they graduate college I will always be nice to her & treat her with respect & provide the $$$ but if she left tomorrow I honestly would not care, for me she already feels like an ex-wife & I am sorry her lover left her because I know she would be happier with him. Hindsight I should have kept quiet & let them fall deeper in love so the other man would have stayed.
I think my indifferent attitude comes from the fact that I am the kind of guy that women seek & since the age of 12 I have always lived in abundance when it comes to women, I never believed in the fantasy of a soulmate.
Bro you are doing it all wrong! Dump her and stay in your kids life but start living your life and move out and on!
You’re so much sound like one of my friend with similar situations like you have. I would not ever forgot what he said, he stayed in this sexless marriage only for kids until they getting older exactly like what you said
Here. You may gonna to meet a right person right woman of your life soon. This is what happened with my friend.
My sister just got a divorce from a long marriage. Turns out she was having an affair and this guy is 10 years younger than her too. She rushed to get her divorce finalized and after just a couple of months, she and her AP are engaged and she tells me “he’s my soulmate, I never knew love like this existed” etc etc etc etc. she has adult children who are understandably very upset and her ex is devastated. I am not sure how to support her because I think she is in an alternate reality and overly obsessed with this person- it’s like she turned into a 14 year old again!!! But I do love her and want the best for her. So far I’ve been saying I am happy for you, but I am worried you’re moving so fast. I just don’t understand any of this. What should I do to help or am I just watching a figurative car crash happen in slow motion?
Well I think you are handling it the right way by being there for her. You want to keep the lines of communication on, meaning where she feels she can come to you if she needs to. Because asue the stage she is in right now she will not listen to anything negative you have to say.
@@staceychenevert Thank you so much for the response!! I have noticed that anyone who says something negative she will say "I won't let them steal my happiness" whew. She is in deep. I will keep being there for her, but wow .... I can't handle this drama!
@lanawr80 She rushed to get divorced because she's deep in the affair fog, and she wants her fantasy life. Hopefully, her ex was smart and got a good settlement in the divorce using that affair fog to his advantage. Don't be surprised if she doesn't come crawling back to him when the fog lifts.
Also, soulmate is garbage. It was a term written by a early 19th-century poet during a romanticized era in both the US and UK.
@@johnbattle7518 omg THANK YOU!!! From personal experience I know this and am bracing for her crash, but there’s that little voice that goes “maybe you’re wrong and you just need to find your perfect soul mate.” 🤦🏽♀️😖😩 I really appreciate your thoughts and I agree with you 100%
Temptation is always a struggle for anyone. Anyone can fall victim to infidelity, but it’s important to know what God says about adultery. Anyone who is in an affair should seek the word on this as God speaks directly to this matter and even to those who divorce their spouse, when the spouse hasn’t been unfaithful, and marry another… it’s all adultery in God’s eyes. So please get in the word and seek God’s face before you go divorcing your faithful spouse just so that you can feel guilt free about being with someone else, affair partner or not.
Yes anyone can fall victim to infidelity.
So no one has ever remarried and found themselves happier bc it wasn’t any of the above, but rather better suited partner?
I did. Both very happy after 14 years, but we've known each other 32 years after a very long affair.
My ex-husband married his affair partner. They were together in their 20s and got separated by the military and found each other again on social media. He chose to divorce me and marry her. I’ve gotten over it and moved on with my life.
May God strengthen you during this time sister 🙏 ❤️
Thank you 💕
So being a cheater and unfaithful spouse gets you a job as a relationship expert? How tf can you give advice when you cannot follow your own? Seriously please reply, I'd like to know if you have an insecure attachment style cus you blame your husband for being a toxic person in first few minutes then later say he had attachment issues. But he didn't cheat, you did.
The best experts are the ones who have been through infidelity and grew from it. That way they can help others learn how to get free and come out a better person. I do not blame my husband for having an affair regardless of his attachment style it was still my choice to have an affair. But having an affair also doesn't negate the fact the marriage had problems that needed to be fixed in order to rebuild to a better place before. Ask yourself this when you look for help services do you look for someone who has experience or would you rather someone who is not trained ? Of course I'm a infidelity coach, I had an affair God changed me and my husband and saved my marriage so I am teaching others the path to forgiveness and restoration.
@@staceychenevert apologies if my reply sounded bad cus of lack of tone or emojis, but thank you for replying kindly...
I have been cheated on many times by my fiance but it was only because I was toxic and made her feel bad about herself, I use to have BPD/AP but I'm working on a secure attachment. I thank you for replying and helping understand from Your pov
@@watitduful great read
@@shortingthetrend Welcome, I'm so happy you are getting help for your attachment style because end the end it will lead you live a happier life and have healthier relationships
@@staceychenevert ya I been working on myself for months now and my wife whom was toxic and insecure has now followed me and we get along greatly now
The links in the description box to your blog post and your podcast are broken.
Does this also apply to husbands that leave their wives for the affair partner?
Absolutely 💯
Can you do a video where you're the unfaithful wife, and you're a fair partner leaves you.
Are you wanting to know why they left?
Starts at 10:30
If you're in a shitty relationship why can't people just LEAVE BEFORE starting the new one. The old saying "How you found your partner is how you'll lose your partner." Jesus a serial cheater. Horrible. Did you cheater on your boyfriends also???
How about you answer my question John the destroyer, what or who in your life are you destroying?
I used to say the same exact thing. Then had to realize the hard way once children, assets, etc are involved it changes how easy it is to "just leave." Some spouses don't make it easy to leave. There is a lot more gray in the world than I ever realized.
What qualifications hsve you got, apart from having an affair to give others advice?
I am a certified relationship coach along with certifications in attachment to theory , transformation coaching and life coaching. With over 10,000 hours of coaching, which qualifies me an expert in my feild.
Does this go for long term relationship that aren’t marriage?
Yes it could
I was married right after high school , but after my freshman year of college. My ex husband left me for another young woman my age. They got married when she got pregnant. I used to wonder if they are happy. I don’t care anymore. I decided to move on and get married again. However, I think I moved too fast. Nevertheless, I’m determined to make it work just like I was last time. I know I want to have a family of my own and I intend to share my life with someone I love. Through the ups and downs as long as it’s not an abusive environment; I think it will last.
Things are never as they seem. The lie we believe is we will live happily ever after but the truth is we won't, all relationships take work. I'm sorry you went through this.
Don't worry about getting the videos out. You just take care of your mum and take care of yourself
Thank you 💕
No where did you talk about trust between affair partners, you haven't even said it is wrong. Wow!
Everyone know its wrong. It's not a topoc I need to cover.
@@staceychenevert Trust is a huge issue and it should be mentioned. There are many individuals that see nothing wrong with cheating. Heard tons of these stories and it is always about trust or if bad things happen they feel it's their karma.
How can I reach you
Hi you can reach me by email stacey@moderndayeve.com or my website www.moderndayeve.com
This scares me because my wife and the main affair partner where together most of our marriage and she had so much energy for him and it seems like she has none for me
I'm so sorry to hear that. Affairs are so destructive.
I’m sorry. I’m currently going through a lot of pain too right now. My husband has been having on and off affair for 4 years now. He hasn’t left the home, but leans more towards her 😢
I’m so broken and leaning on God so heavily ❤️
@@perlagardea6753 you may be better off without them. I pray God gives you strength to make the right decision.
I left. It hurts but God is holding me up. Don't waste your lives if your partner not doing their part. But I hope yours can be saved.
I never see u even wearing a ring. It’s a matter of time til you cheat again
😂😂
If you have an affair, you don't love your husband. If you love your husband, you don't have an affair.
Oh wow if it was that simple then people wouldn't have affairs.. It's not that simple!
Why is marriage the one and only relationship in which we are expected to only ever be able to love one person? We can love multiple children, parents, siblings, pets, etc but for some reason love stops at one for romance. It's literally built on controlling women and procreation and yet we still buy into it to this day.
See that's great that you are helping these women yet the future of women in their late 30's is going to be a great way to experience the exact same thing as the men in their 20's got to experience as the first emergency exit bubble is 25 to 30 for men and broken heart syndrome for women in their mid 40'sthen the next major age for men is 50 to 55 when a man loses everything that gave him motivation and honestly at that age a man has lived 90% of his life so why not exit and the superficial women can internalize it. Now these men will not have to take the exit when they understand women will receive the reciprocity and karma for the energy they gave will return to them plus the Universal Law - Attraction they will have a very entertaining life when they attract the energy they earned
Tks, and that is very interesting
@@staceychenevert 50 Universal Laws of Reality - TH-cam video. . 21 gram theory -- Duncan McDougall ... Esoteric Wisdom...
After watching most of yiur videos how the heck can u deflect blame you cheated multiple times married your affair partner cheated on him like i hope you get help your insane no matter your redemption i hope you suffer guilt u ruined so many lifes
Oh wow you are very bitter and I hope you get the healing you need. Its so sad to see you wish pain on another all the while judging me for hurting people. Now that is what I call insane