The one thing that you never touch on, outside of the guilt and shame you feel for the bad choice, is the lack of love, desire and empathy for the pain you cause to your spouse. When the affair gets found out by the spouse the first thing that the betraying spouse is worried about is what they are going to loose and no mention of the any sadness and heartfelt remorse for the pain they’ve inflicted.
@MySecondNature-FNappi, you hit the nail on the head. In another video she touts the need for the betrayed spouse to be empathetic toward their betrayer from the beginning of attempted reconciliation. She states that the betrayed must make the betrayer feel "safe" by not judging them, otherwise they will "shut down" and it will slow down the reconciliation process. So to all of you betrayed spouses out there, bottle up your hurt because you certainly don't want to judge the poor forest creatures (snark, snark) who planned and schemed to continue breaking the marriage covenant, shattered your self-esteem, put your health at risk (potential STIs), and in some cases created the need to DNA test the children. It takes two spouses to have marriage problems, but only one spouse to break the marriage by having an affair. I firmly believe that it is best for both spouses to have individual therapy first so they can process things before the situation unravels and causes more havoc. This needs to happen before any couples therapy or affair coaching begins.
The betrayer chose to cross this line which speaks volumes to their character. If someone values you this little, and lacks basic integrity to stay faithful, move on. I don’t believe they ever change.
The BS can always forgive, but they almost never forget. The cheater doesn't realize, or understand, the hurt that the BS goes through to hang on to what's left of the marriage.
@@johnwalsh518I am not sure about the god, devil, angels part, but you are right. The wife will do everything to stay in the marriage (giving false hope, being attentive, ...) until she is sure, that the new guy will take her.
I agree. This is exactly how I feel about it and the conclusion that ultimately came to. The conclusion that made me realize that this wasn’t something that I truly wanted, if it couldn’t be gone about in the right way. Aka I knew it wasn’t going to work, mostly for those reasons.
Being a betrayed spouse myself......I could never trust my unfaithful (twice) ex-wife again. If they feel adultery is OK for them to do once or twice it is NOT erased by any amount of guilt or shame....... The affair partners deserve each other. In most cases the betrayed spouse was not giving something needed in the marriage but is never the reason their spouse had an affair. That was solely their decision.
@@staceychenevert is it wrong for me to not even want them to try at a relationship because i know if at all possible that the other end of it is more difficukt because i just want my wife back regardless. But if she leave sto be wjth him rather than stay an do the work the process is longer a. Harder, is it wrong for me to pray for their demise based on how affair relationships go. An that im just here doing the work wanting to heal an get tbrough it together. an if they fail do they ever come back?
@@cg1232 It is not wrong to pray that Gods will be done. The Lord says what he has joined let no man separate. And honestly affairs are traps set by the enemy to bring about our destruction. So praying that God would open her eyes could save her life.
@@staceychenevert i really just want to save my marriage but she seems so thrown into the affair. An wants to be with him an ignoring like all other broader aspects of these things an denying her emotional state. Being apathetic towards me when im expressing feelings an understandings of the complex issues. An always trying to validate her as painful as it is. Id do anything to show her that she can get past this current state of what seems like addictive an so many negatives towards me exhibiting all the negative thoughts that one does almost as justifications or excuses. Like not really diving deep with me. An just wants to pursue the affair partner. I dont want that for her or us. i know theres always a light at the end of these tunnels i just wish shed be more open to seeing that an giving us the time we deserve.
Got out of emotional affair from married man after 1 year. I learned a lot! I was not healed therefore was drawn to an unavailable man. I am worth more than that. Everyone deserves better! 🌿🌸☀️💕
Expectations is a big one- because after all, they left their family for that person. They better measure up, right? And when they don’t, that’s when the resentment starts.
Most times, they will never leave their family... but they still have the audacity to put high demands on their affair partner. They see nothing wrong with the fact that they only think of themselves. They want to hold on to the marriage AND hold on to the affair. They feel entitled to have both.
I get all of this now but at the time i wasn't aware of Limerence. I still have PTSD 23 years later. Very painful moment in my life when i learned the mother of my children was tossing us aside. I did take her back and love her more than ever but the movie loop of event's running in my head still hurts.
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through this. The memories can be painful. When they reappear try to focus on the present. I'm happy yall were able to reconcile.
Very well done. Thank u. My wife is cheating for 3 years. U gave me some insight. Ive been out of house for 2 months. Ive noticed she doesnt seem to b going his direction as much. U explained a lot
I truly appreciate your advice because you personally experienced a couple of affairs and KNOW first hand the process of one. This has helped me understand what my soon to be ex-husband may be currently experiencing with his affair partner (I do not know if they are still together anymore). I really appreciate the part where you said both parties soon realize they are still left with poor coping skills.
I had an affair ten years ago. Marriage stayed together. But it does still get brought up (by her of course). So if you plan on reconciling, just know that the scar will always be there. Some people probably forgive differently (with more grace and kindness than others). But If they dont- just get ready for possible conversations many years down the road. Sometimes even condemning ones. Strength on personally healing and identity of who and how you are now are critical- otherwise you’ll let the hurtful words years later hurt you and you’ll find yourself in the same spot entertaining emotional support etc from another again.
Hi Justin I'm so sorry to hear you are still battling judgment. The betrayed can get stuck in recovery just like we can. And a sign they are stuck is when years later it's still a sore spot. My husband works with the betrayed to help them heal and completely let go of the pain. Ypu can find his info on my website. However to truly protect yourself learning to heal your attachment style is the first step to preventing future affairs.
Good morning, I like to ask you questions because I respect the way you are open and honest, even on the hard questions, so my question to you. Do you think the driving force behind your affair is because your AP made you feel important and significant, and your husband was making you feel unimportant and insignificant? Is that the %20 you felt were missing from your marriage?
Thank you for being so open and Honest about your personal experience. I too had an affair. It was exciting and wonderful and I was in limerence. But it Always ends, in the end you hurt yourself and so many people you love. 💕
Yes it’s a low percentage and unfortunately that’s my case .. it destroyed a 40 year marriage, our family .. the other woman knew all along he was married and she didn’t care that she was in the middle of someone’s marriage. I could never do that to another woman, help destroy a woman’s life .. I’m not bitter , I was a faithful wife , I forgave and tried to save our marriage.
@oambitiousone7100 affair marriages don't last because we bring our unhealthy coping skills into the marriage. Midlife crisis is not the reason it triggered your attachment wounds which produced unhealthy coping behavior.
My AP husband found out and she still wants to get out of the marriage and maintain a relationship with me. I asked her why did she want to still pursue this with me?She stated that she doesn’t love nor respect her husband anymore. However, her husband is keeping her hostage by controlling all the finances, which is making it impossible for her to leave she claims. I think financial and domestic violence is not talked about enough in mainstream society as a pertains to marriages.
@@ST-cy6weThe strength she is talking about is that she overcame that behavior and is helping others to overcome this as well. Not to mention having to deal with ignorant comments such as yours.
How do you help wives who feel attraction after 3 years to their Affair Partner after not fully engaging the affair after ending it? For Context : they have a baby to together and see and speak to one another
I know we can’t be together now . He love his kids and his wife and he just don’t show it but inside his heart he knows he does care for his wife . He knows too that his wife is his soulmate . Even ,sometimes they didn’t understand each other or they are having arguments still they will be ok again . That’s is why I will not interfere in his life anymore . I love him and it’s already ok knowing that he loves me too . I only wish that in our next life our destiny will cross again and it will get better than now . And even how many times I die and live I’m still looking forward to meet him .I never regret meeting him but it’s until here and nothing more . I will not make his life hard anymore .
The only victim is the third person who is alone. When you say when they discover it you lose you marriage and your life you say that your marriage is more important and that the whole time you take andvantage and use the third person.
@ I am the third person I was alone when I got into the affair. She is swear to me that she was in love but she never broke up her relationship. I left behind heartbroken so I don’t think this is the same for the third person …
@@staceychenevert unfortunately I think you don't understand because you are defending the person who is cheating. Νo one in this situations talks about the third person who is essentially the means of exploitation and how he will survive the trauma created by this relationship.
My affair partner got caught by his wife. Is he gone forever? All he said to me was he was dealing with stuff at home and that we shouldn’t talk right now.
Yes they do, but if you don't heal your core wounds most likely you will have another affair. Also only 2 percent of affair couples make it to marriage with only a 30 percent survival rate. It's not worth it in the end.
Limerence doesn't last for years. Short term affairs or s one night stand can be gotten over wuth time and effort on both sides, but a long term affair is totally different. You've been living a parallel life. To me, if the spouse stays the marriage will never be the same again anyway. Nothing is Black and White, there are more Grey areas, and every affair is different. They don't follow a script!
It’s going to look different for everyone. But these types of relationships go through phases and usually when it’s in the deterioration phase, that’s when one or both parties tend to wake up and realize that what they’re doing is wrong & not what they truly want.
What can you do if you are cheated on all because my partner liked his looks and other assets that cannot be changed as I have the looks and body that God gave me to grow up with so how can I win over guys who are blessed with a better body,and facial looks than I have?
You always want to be yourself, don't change for people. God will send you the person that is right for you. If someone leaves you for shallow reasons like looks then they would never be in it with you for the long haul. Their exit was your protection.
Hi Stacey! OMG... Im in tears right now... Do you think if the male spouse discovers the limerence affair of their wife, does it have the same results? Will the wife who cheated will realize her mistake and break up with her limerence object?
@@staceychenevert thanks! I really needed that... Im already losing hope upon learning that limerance is so powerful... She just dumped me less than 2 weeks ago because i was able to hack her fb messenger... Maybe God also showed me the way to the truth thru my gut feel. Again, thank you!
Please convince me that the person that commits adultery,on there spouse is suffering! That's BS,maybe the person that breaks that trust should have considered there spouse before breaking there heart and destroying the family.
Yes causes suffering on both sides. The cheated person's reasons for suffering are obvious. For the cheater I imagine it might be multiple forms of guilt and general unhappiness. Yes it's important to consider your partners feelings and the possible destruction of the family
Just looking for some clarification. Around the 15-16 min mark it sounded like you said you are currently married to your affair partner from your first marriage. Did I misunderstand you?
@@staceychenevert I am agnostic, so I am not sure about "god" but why would god save a marriage that started with adultery basically. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Good for you it worked out though. Anyway not that I am recommending people having affairs...
What about when the Cheating spouse leave you for her but you didn’t know right then they were cheating ? Found out 4 weeks later. Still living there and our adult children know to. They also work together. She is a poacher . Goes after married men. He is her 3 one so far. How likely are they to stay together?
Darn, your husband turned out to be an easy target. Don't beat yourself up too much. Sometimes, our relationship falls apart while we're busy trying to keep it together. Getting them back on track might be impossible if the entire train derailed, as opposed to hitting an obstruction. Going to a councilor is always beneficial in helping you .
Yes the pain will come up and if you don’t want to bring it up, you may end up in pain on your own. You end up pulling away because the person that is supposed to be there for you in those moments is the one who caused the pain. It’s very isolating.
Yes its the love of God that leads men to repentance. The mercy of God offers his children forgivness even when they dont deserve it. You obviously dont know the real Jesus.
@@henrybarnes6325 God never leads someone to sin. The enemy tempts us to sin. God helps us out of sin. We are saved by faith in what Jesus did on the cross. We are not saved by our good works. And when we mess up, we have an advocate with the Father who forgives us of all our sins and cleanses us of all unrighteousness. I say unto yo,u though your sins are as scarlet, I will wash them white as snow. It is God's will for us to be saved. God desires relationships, not religion. Sin in and of itself is punishment. It's important to know that we can run to God when we mess up and he will help us.
You are right. It is the same mechanism. Being in love. It is said that an affair intensifies those feelings. I would say, limerence is the same intensity, no matter if the LO and you are single or in a (different) relationship. For limerence to occur, there needs to be the aspect of uncertainty, which can easily be present in two singles. E.g. you meet her and she is about to go to another country to get a a degree.
Do you really think you can look at someone's eyes and tell if they are healed are not? The fact that I can talk about my affair everyday is a way that proves I'm healed.
Infidelity is cruel and uncaring. You may feel unhappy in your marriage but you can do it in a way that is more caring for the unknowing spouse. Glad you're content with yourself but how do you and the betrayed spouse feel now. These TH-cam videos neglect the fact that there are spouses thinking their marriage is long term. You enjoy your excitement...but it will hurt the betrayed spouse long term. No one cares about the partner that entered into an official marriage document with their spouse. SO HAPPY you enjoyed your affair at someone else's betrayal. When do spouses address these issues as adults?!
You're married to your first affair partner but doing a video on why affairs don't last? This is confusing. You're in the 2% of affair couples that make it to marriage? How long have you been married to your AP? I wonder if the statistics are incorrect?
Ive only seen your video that you told everything about your cheating ways. Your something. You blame everybody and e eey thing except you... Your tad self centerd.there was no place to write. Comments closed.so, im listing to Came acrossed this ideo.,
The one thing that you never touch on, outside of the guilt and shame you feel for the bad choice, is the lack of love, desire and empathy for the pain you cause to your spouse. When the affair gets found out by the spouse the first thing that the betraying spouse is worried about is what they are going to loose and no mention of the any sadness and heartfelt remorse for the pain they’ve inflicted.
Is there a reason you would like me to touch on this topic?
@MySecondNature-FNappi, you hit the nail on the head. In another video she touts the need for the betrayed spouse to be empathetic toward their betrayer from the beginning of attempted reconciliation. She states that the betrayed must make the betrayer feel "safe" by not judging them, otherwise they will "shut down" and it will slow down the reconciliation process. So to all of you betrayed spouses out there, bottle up your hurt because you certainly don't want to judge the poor forest creatures (snark, snark) who planned and schemed to continue breaking the marriage covenant, shattered your self-esteem, put your health at risk (potential STIs), and in some cases created the need to DNA test the children. It takes two spouses to have marriage problems, but only one spouse to break the marriage by having an affair. I firmly believe that it is best for both spouses to have individual therapy first so they can process things before the situation unravels and causes more havoc. This needs to happen before any couples therapy or affair coaching begins.
They are really hoping/gambling that the affair would not be discovered.
The betrayer chose to cross this line which speaks volumes to their character. If someone values you this little, and lacks basic integrity to stay faithful, move on. I don’t believe they ever change.
The BS can always forgive, but they almost never forget. The cheater doesn't realize, or understand, the hurt that the BS goes through to hang on to what's left of the marriage.
You said it....the foundation is not solid. It will never be bc, an affair is only built on lies and deception.
True
@@johnwalsh518I am not sure about the god, devil, angels part, but you are right. The wife will do everything to stay in the marriage (giving false hope, being attentive, ...) until she is sure, that the new guy will take her.
I agree. This is exactly how I feel about it and the conclusion that ultimately came to. The conclusion that made me realize that this wasn’t something that I truly wanted, if it couldn’t be gone about in the right way. Aka I knew it wasn’t going to work, mostly for those reasons.
Being a betrayed spouse myself......I could never trust my unfaithful (twice) ex-wife again. If they feel adultery is OK for them to do once or twice it is NOT erased by any amount of guilt or shame....... The affair partners deserve each other. In most cases the betrayed spouse was not giving something needed in the marriage but is never the reason their spouse had an affair. That was solely their decision.
I understand your perpestive
@@staceychenevert is it wrong for me to not even want them to try at a relationship because i know if at all possible that the other end of it is more difficukt because i just want my wife back regardless. But if she leave sto be wjth him rather than stay an do the work the process is longer a. Harder, is it wrong for me to pray for their demise based on how affair relationships go. An that im just here doing the work wanting to heal an get tbrough it together. an if they fail do they ever come back?
@@cg1232 It is not wrong to pray that Gods will be done. The Lord says what he has joined let no man separate. And honestly affairs are traps set by the enemy to bring about our destruction. So praying that God would open her eyes could save her life.
@@staceychenevert i really just want to save my marriage but she seems so thrown into the affair. An wants to be with him an ignoring like all other broader aspects of these things an denying her emotional state. Being apathetic towards me when im expressing feelings an understandings of the complex issues. An always trying to validate her as painful as it is. Id do anything to show her that she can get past this current state of what seems like addictive an so many negatives towards me exhibiting all the negative thoughts that one does almost as justifications or excuses. Like not really diving deep with me. An just wants to pursue the affair partner. I dont want that for her or us. i know theres always a light at the end of these tunnels i just wish shed be more open to seeing that an giving us the time we deserve.
Got out of emotional affair from married man after 1 year. I learned a lot! I was not healed therefore was drawn to an unavailable man. I am worth more than that. Everyone deserves better! 🌿🌸☀️💕
Amen!! Happy you are growing!
@@staceychenevert thank you Stacey 🌻🌹🌱☀️😊
@@emilytaylor1001 welcome 💓
You caused a lot of pain to the betrayed spouse! You are immoral .
Expectations is a big one- because after all, they left their family for that person. They better measure up, right? And when they don’t, that’s when the resentment starts.
Yes absolutely
@Eremias Ranwolf
May I ask, how are you dealing with it now?
I'm currently going through the same thing
Most times, they will never leave their family... but they still have the audacity to put high demands on their affair partner. They see nothing wrong with the fact that they only think of themselves. They want to hold on to the marriage AND hold on to the affair. They feel entitled to have both.
I get all of this now but at the time i wasn't aware of Limerence. I still have PTSD 23 years later. Very painful moment in my life when i learned the mother of my children was tossing us aside. I did take her back and love her more than ever but the movie loop of event's running in my head still hurts.
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through this. The memories can be painful. When they reappear try to focus on the present. I'm happy yall were able to reconcile.
Very well done. Thank u. My wife is cheating for 3 years. U gave me some insight. Ive been out of house for 2 months. Ive noticed she doesnt seem to b going his direction as much. U explained a lot
You are welcome
Her affair partner doesn't want the responsibility of dealing with her day-to-day. He just wanted fun and now it's complicated.
Same here, they can fart together now 🙂
I truly appreciate your advice because you personally experienced a couple of affairs and KNOW first hand the process of one. This has helped me understand what my soon to be ex-husband may be currently experiencing with his affair partner (I do not know if they are still together anymore). I really appreciate the part where you said both parties soon realize they are still left with poor coping skills.
Thank you 💕 I pray you find happiness 😊
The 1st requirement to have an affair is to have the ability to live a double life and the ability to deceive others in an effective manner.
Yeah. James Bond would be great!!
What does it say about a person who has both?
That he would be a great secret agent@@followyourpassion8378
Requirement? Sounds like an impairment.
I had an affair ten years ago. Marriage stayed together.
But it does still get brought up (by her of course).
So if you plan on reconciling, just know that the scar will always be there. Some people probably forgive differently (with more grace and kindness than others). But If they dont- just get ready for possible conversations many years down the road. Sometimes even condemning ones. Strength on personally healing and identity of who and how you are now are critical- otherwise you’ll let the hurtful words years later hurt you and you’ll find yourself in the same spot entertaining emotional support etc from another again.
Hi Justin I'm so sorry to hear you are still battling judgment. The betrayed can get stuck in recovery just like we can. And a sign they are stuck is when years later it's still a sore spot. My husband works with the betrayed to help them heal and completely let go of the pain. Ypu can find his info on my website. However to truly protect yourself learning to heal your attachment style is the first step to preventing future affairs.
@@staceychenevert thank you Stacey that is good insight. You’re definitely right
@@Jus10-born2Run welcome
You reap what you sow
@@saraz9017 agreed.
Good morning, I like to ask you questions because I respect the way you are open and honest, even on the hard questions, so my question to you. Do you think the driving force behind your affair is because your AP made you feel important and significant, and your husband was making you feel unimportant and insignificant? Is that the %20 you felt were missing from your marriage?
Thank you for being so open and Honest about your personal experience. I too had an affair. It was exciting and wonderful and I was in limerence. But it Always ends, in the end you hurt yourself and so many people you love. 💕
Welcome 🤗 and you are right it all ends in pain.
Thank you for this....was husband was the unfaithful but this gives a lot of clarity
Welcome 💕
Affairs do last .. my ex left me , divorced me and married his affair partner . They have been together for 8 years now
Yes some do but the percentage is very low. But statically 2 percent of affair couples do marry.
Yes it’s a low percentage and unfortunately that’s my case .. it destroyed a 40 year marriage, our family .. the other woman knew all along he was married and she didn’t care that she was in the middle of someone’s marriage. I could never do that to another woman, help destroy a woman’s life .. I’m not bitter , I was a faithful wife , I forgave and tried to save our marriage.
@oambitiousone7100 affair marriages don't last because we bring our unhealthy coping skills into the marriage. Midlife crisis is not the reason it triggered your attachment wounds which produced unhealthy coping behavior.
My ex father-in-law was married to his AP for 12 years then divorced her. Lasting a lifetime is a different story
there's still more years to go by 8years is still new
My AP husband found out and she still wants to get out of the marriage and maintain a relationship with me. I asked her why did she want to still pursue this with me?She stated that she doesn’t love nor respect her husband anymore. However, her husband is keeping her hostage by controlling all the finances, which is making it impossible for her to leave she claims. I think financial and domestic violence is not talked about enough in mainstream society as a pertains to marriages.
I agree
Can't she get a job and rent an apartment or a room? No need to put up with abuse, ever.
My narc made me sooooo tired. I actually say… thank yu mistress.
He will make the mistress tired as well
It takes a really strong woman to do what you do!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!❤️
Awe thank you , love you too 😘
Ummm she cheated 2x, didn't she? I'm not seeing strength in that
@@ST-cy6weThe strength she is talking about is that she overcame that behavior and is helping others to overcome this as well. Not to mention having to deal with ignorant comments such as yours.
@@dru1581👏👏👏
I 2nd this👏It’d be much easier to hide in shame in the shadows & that wouldn’t help anyone else or her.
What are you talking about? She’s a home wrecking narc.
How do you help wives who feel attraction after 3 years to their Affair Partner after not fully engaging the affair after ending it? For Context : they have a baby to together and see and speak to one another
Thank you for sharing! Affairs are not created by GOD!
Welcome
I know we can’t be together now . He love his kids and his wife and he just don’t show it but inside his heart he knows he does care for his wife . He knows too that his wife is his soulmate . Even ,sometimes they didn’t understand each other or they are having arguments still they will be ok again . That’s is why I will not interfere in his life anymore . I love him and it’s already ok knowing that he loves me too . I only wish that in our next life our destiny will cross again and it will get better than now . And even how many times I die and live I’m still looking forward to meet him .I never regret meeting him but it’s until here and nothing more . I will not make his life hard anymore .
That is an awesome decision to walk away.
Feeling sorry for the future guy you will marry or boyfriend!!
Chad widower
The only victim is the third person who is alone. When you say when they discover it you lose you marriage and your life you say that your marriage is more important and that the whole time you take andvantage and use the third person.
Unfortunately this is true on both sides.
@ I am the third person I was alone when I got into the affair. She is swear to me that she was in love but she never broke up her relationship. I left behind heartbroken so I don’t think this is the same for the third person …
She uses me for sex to escape from the marriage and to take confirmation and she never admit it..she only told me lies that her feelings was true
I understand completely
@@staceychenevert unfortunately I think you don't understand because you are defending the person who is cheating. Νo one in this situations talks about the third person who is essentially the means of exploitation and how he will survive the trauma created by this relationship.
My affair partner got caught by his wife. Is he gone forever? All he said to me was he was dealing with stuff at home and that we shouldn’t talk right now.
Its possible but once the breakup occurs the affair is never the same again. And they usually decide to go back to their spouse.
I would let the dust settle and see what happens after that❤ good luck to you!
🤢
@@saraz9017 what’s the problem?
Some affairs do last. I have witnessed this a few times.
Yes they do, but if you don't heal your core wounds most likely you will have another affair. Also only 2 percent of affair couples make it to marriage with only a 30 percent survival rate. It's not worth it in the end.
Always think you would have an affair. Then actively avoid temptations or situations that may be compromising. Prevention is the best strategy.
Yes absolutely
Limerence doesn't last for years. Short term affairs or s one night stand can be gotten over wuth time and effort on both sides, but a long term affair is totally different. You've been living a parallel life. To me, if the spouse stays the marriage will never be the same again anyway. Nothing is Black and White, there are more Grey areas, and every affair is different. They don't follow a script!
Limerance doesn't apply when feelings are mutual
Wow I love your honesty and transparency ❤
Thank you
Stacy
My wife had an affair, I found out and she moved out to be with the ap.
How long does the affair last when the two spouses aren't together?
This shit sucks man
It’s going to look different for everyone. But these types of relationships go through phases and usually when it’s in the deterioration phase, that’s when one or both parties tend to wake up and realize that what they’re doing is wrong & not what they truly want.
Excellent video!! 🤗
Thank you
Would you say a power struggle last ten years? My wife roller coaster lasted that long
Omg! How did u deal with all that drama! It’s been 3 years my partner cheated on me and I couldn’t skip a day thinking of all that shits he did!
My ex-sister-in-law got caught at her job with someone she works with
oh gosh that is never good
@@staceychenevert and guess what I discovered is that they are no longer together. She moved on to another guy
Always a coworker
According to the closed captioning, you've been "playing ketchup."
🤣🤣🤣
What can you do if you are cheated on all because my partner liked his looks and other assets that cannot be changed as I have the looks and body that God gave me to grow up with so how can I win over guys who are blessed with a better body,and facial looks than I have?
You always want to be yourself, don't change for people. God will send you the person that is right for you. If someone leaves you for shallow reasons like looks then they would never be in it with you for the long haul. Their exit was your protection.
Do you understand what usually happens when one person in the affair is married and the other is not?
yes i do understand I work with that dynamic everyday
Hi Stacey! OMG... Im in tears right now... Do you think if the male spouse discovers the limerence affair of their wife, does it have the same results? Will the wife who cheated will realize her mistake and break up with her limerence object?
Hi, yes most affairs end, regardless of the spouse finding out.
@@staceychenevert thanks! I really needed that... Im already losing hope upon learning that limerance is so powerful... She just dumped me less than 2 weeks ago because i was able to hack her fb messenger... Maybe God also showed me the way to the truth thru my gut feel. Again, thank you!
@@ruilotz welcome, God always reveals truth
Please convince me that the person that commits adultery,on there spouse is suffering! That's BS,maybe the person that breaks that trust should have considered there spouse before breaking there heart and destroying the family.
Yes causes suffering on both sides. The cheated person's reasons for suffering are obvious. For the cheater I imagine it might be multiple forms of guilt and general unhappiness. Yes it's important to consider your partners feelings and the possible destruction of the family
Just looking for some clarification. Around the 15-16 min mark it sounded like you said you are currently married to your affair partner from your first marriage. Did I misunderstand you?
I am married to my first affair partner.
@@staceychenevert Lol then why are you telling people not to do it????
Because affairs are destructive and if God would not have saved my marriage we wouldnt be together. Its not worth the pain@AlexVNL
@@staceychenevert I am agnostic, so I am not sure about "god" but why would god save a marriage that started with adultery basically. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Good for you it worked out though. Anyway not that I am recommending people having affairs...
Hang on. You’re married to your first adultery?
What about when the Cheating spouse leave you for her but you didn’t know right then they were cheating ? Found out 4 weeks later. Still living there and our adult children know to. They also work together. She is a poacher . Goes after married men. He is her 3 one so far. How likely are they to stay together?
The odds ate aganist them so they are not likely to stay together.
Darn, your husband turned out to be an easy target. Don't beat yourself up too much. Sometimes, our relationship falls apart while we're busy trying to keep it together.
Getting them back on track might be impossible if the entire train derailed, as opposed to hitting an obstruction. Going to a councilor is always beneficial in helping you .
Mines monkey branched and married him 2months later became pregnant now almost 2 years
Oh wow Im sorry about that
Mine 's is 40 years ago and I still remind my cheating husband about his affair like it was yesyerday.
Oh wow, that's not the way to have a fulfilling marriage after infidelity. You cant move forward if always are reminded of the past.
Yes the pain will come up and if you don’t want to bring it up, you may end up in pain on your own. You end up pulling away because the person that is supposed to be there for you in those moments is the one who caused the pain. It’s very isolating.
They do all this things and take front row seats in church god will deal with them take my work
Yes its the love of God that leads men to repentance. The mercy of God offers his children forgivness even when they dont deserve it. You obviously dont know the real Jesus.
So are we talking about the same god that lead his followers to infidelity and sleep with to man at same time is that the god i don't know
@@henrybarnes6325 God never leads someone to sin. The enemy tempts us to sin. God helps us out of sin. We are saved by faith in what Jesus did on the cross. We are not saved by our good works. And when we mess up, we have an advocate with the Father who forgives us of all our sins and cleanses us of all unrighteousness. I say unto yo,u though your sins are as scarlet, I will wash them white as snow. It is God's will for us to be saved. God desires relationships, not religion. Sin in and of itself is punishment. It's important to know that we can run to God when we mess up and he will help us.
So you've had two affairs over two marraiges ?
How d I get hold of u
Hi, I have a link in the description box below where you can sign up for a chat.
The cheater gets a promotion and has to work in another City or State
So you have cheated in every marriage you were in??? Etf
The same fade happens in ALL relationships. Especially marriages.
You are right. It is the same mechanism. Being in love. It is said that an affair intensifies those feelings. I would say, limerence is the same intensity, no matter if the LO and you are single or in a (different) relationship. For limerence to occur, there needs to be the aspect of uncertainty, which can easily be present in two singles. E.g. you meet her and she is about to go to another country to get a a degree.
At what age do people stop having affairs
I don't think there is an age limit
@@staceychenevert That's not reassuring
@@MarkSummers-g2n Age wont stop infidelity. Its a core wound problem that causes infidelity.
@@staceychenevert Makes me glad that i am single
Morning my wife is in a relationship with someone and she says that she is a child of god im going thru a lot of stress and she just don't care
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's common for them to act like a different person.
I can see the light in your eyes when you talk about your AP. I don’t think you are healed.
Do you really think you can look at someone's eyes and tell if they are healed are not? The fact that I can talk about my affair everyday is a way that proves I'm healed.
Affairs dont last because both people are liars. Hes telling you anything to get sex and you are telling him how neglected you are. Both lies.
Of course
Infidelity is cruel and uncaring. You may feel unhappy in your marriage but you can do it in a way that is more caring for the unknowing spouse. Glad you're content with yourself but how do you and the betrayed spouse feel now. These TH-cam videos neglect the fact that there are spouses thinking their marriage is long term. You enjoy your excitement...but it will hurt the betrayed spouse long term. No one cares about the partner that entered into an official marriage document with their spouse. SO HAPPY you enjoyed your affair at someone else's betrayal. When do spouses address these issues as adults?!
Couples can rebuild a fulfilling marriage after infidelity. My content if for the unfaithful spouse not to specifically help the betrayed
You're married to your first affair partner but doing a video on why affairs don't last? This is confusing. You're in the 2% of affair couples that make it to marriage? How long have you been married to your AP? I wonder if the statistics are incorrect?
Correct but I had a second affair and God restored our marriage had it not been for our faith we would be divorced.
Ive only seen your video that you told everything about your cheating ways. Your something. You blame everybody and e eey thing except you... Your tad self centerd.there was no place to write. Comments closed.so, im listing to Came acrossed this ideo.,
I don't believe in Satan. Outta here.
ok
Heal from what? Sin your spouse need to heal not the cheater do what's right