A heads up about hugs. Hugs release the binding hormone oxytocin... for women it releases after 8 seconds of hugging, but for men it takes 20 seconds to release... so hug him... hug him for at least 20 seconds. You'll both get the oxytocin release which will cause bonding.
According to her experience and knolwlrge which by her answer she has a good sound mind unlike some of the others here today, myself included mind and is young to help and guide us, so if u think u can do better, genus, I’m sure we’ll happy and surprised to hear your wise words😊 Be Out guest
1. TOUCH HIM!! OOOOH baby!!! 2. Hold his hands. 3.Loooonnngg Hug!! Tight long booobie hug!!! 4. Caress back of his head. 5. Cuddle up! 6.Let him hold you. 7. Touch is a form of communication and bonding. 8. Ask him where he likes to be touch. Ask permission first before you touch that "No No Square!" 9.Use touch as healing. 10. Treat a gentle man like a real gentleman!! Don't cross that line until he cuts that red line FIRST! Star Light I took notes!!! Thank you !!!
I have learned that my man (and previous men I've dated) melt like butter when you are cuddling in bed (or on the couch) and I get a bit higher than him and lay his head kind of on my chest. Stroking his hair and the sides of his face, and gently kissing his forehead and cheeks where I can reach. Absolutely melts any man to be touched like this! I think ot brings out the mother's nurturing touch that they need from a woman... they will start leaning into yiu often to receive this loving touch. Its really intimate in a pure loving way.
Hello to whom it may concern I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back and I believe he can also help you to attract back your lover and solve your relationship problems 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Before me my husband thought that any time he was touched it meant sex because no other woman had taken the time to just touch him. I had to literally tell him "no, just relax and let me touch you. You're not touching me right now." It took some time but now he's very much into being "petted". Lol
I actually love it when a guy feels free to lay his head in my lap... and allows me to stroke his hair and his temples. Whatever the status of our relationship is, I feel like this is so intimate and not something I do with every guy I'd date... it also makes me feel very motherly lol
He loves to lay his head in my lap and I scratch his head. He falls asleep in my lap everytime. I hold him while he sleeps and rub his head while we watch a movie or even football. We alternate holding each other……it’s so sensual and healing ❤️
I’m in a long distance relationship with a soldier; I agree with the hug as an expression of trust and safety as you described. I asked him to tell me how he was going to greet me when he came home, and he said with a long hug. There you go! Safety and trust!
Ha! You put imto words what I couldn't quite put my finger on! I just knew I loved these advice and guidance videos more than any others 💜💜💜🙏🏾 Thank you so much!!
1. Use touch as an encouraging and invitation thing to him, in early stages of dating, take his hand for a second, sustainand contact f.e. with legs, touch his waist, when you walk by him 2. A tool to create safety and trust, long full body tender hug, when he comes; holding and touch his back of the head; or allow him to hold you - it will activate his strong power feeling 3. Touch for healing purpose:
I just love your real, open, honest wisdom. I’m in my mid sixties and wish I could of known these things forty years ago. Never too late though and with years of marriage and experience, divorced now, I am in a relationship with a man six years younger. Mat, your guidance is really helping me, especially at this stage of life and love. Thank you!
Im dating this guy and he had a rough week coz one of his pets died, and he was lying in bed on his stomach next to me, and i started touching the back of his head while we were talking, after a few mins he told me "I feel so relaxed, im falling asleep". I also caress the back of his head from time to time when he's driving. Touch is really a powerful thing, Knowing where to touch your man to make him feel re-assured and secured would be really helpful in the long run
Mat I appreciate the vulnerability it takes to share your gifts and talents with the world. I feel gratitude for your insight and I'm better because of it. 🙏❤
I am a hugger…my favorite thing to do is after a hug is to slowly move my arms from his neck and allow my hand to rest on one his cheeks to a moment with a look in his eyes and a smile! I usually get pulled back in for another embrace 💕
Tremendous info. Wish to God I knew this years ago. My family never hugged each other. We never saw our parents hug or touch or kiss each other. I feel like I have missed out on so much & It has affected my male partners through the years Thank you so much.
Gotta go back to hugging, specially my dad isn’t that affectionate and whenever I hugged him cause I thought he needed it after his mothers passing and I think he was uncomfortable said let go of me so I stopped hugging people So I don’t make them uncomfortable. 🤷🏻♀️I guess sometimes I find it difficult for the reaction I can get back. Gotta work on that again so I can succeed on a relationship
My twin flame keeps coming back to me ...for over 40 yrs ..we never lost touch even through our lives not married to each other ...but we recently got together again and never missed a beat
@@tressielassabe5779 Thanks! People are usually telling me how wrong I am...I was just thinking about it...picture a busy city street. A woman, not dressed up or trying to attract attention, on her way to work or running errands. Men will catcall, invade her space, gawk, glare, even if it is a no make-up and glasses day. Where are the good men then? They are very discerning, and only meet you by Divine Intervention or some fluke accident. The loud men, the wrong guys are EVERYWHERE...men don't understand this; there is not a moments peace from them! Even in this pandemic, they find their way through the woodwork by scams on social media and invade your home when you are minding your own business! Now, these relationship gurus like Matt, it's all well and good to say that you will meet one, or they can say [I always love this line], that you were not prepared and your intention was not right to receive them, along with any other kind of luck n the Universe. Look, I'm 57...I've basically been primed to receive this love since birth...where is he? I hate dated hundreds of the bad guys, married a few...because THEY ARE THE ONLY THING ON THE MENU!! And loading one mistake after the other doesn't solve the problem for a good man and love. Then I get blamed...why are you attracting this, you were not ready to receive this. Look, if I am minding my own business, living in whatever country, whatever environment, the loud, bad men will always be rising on the top, because they don't fear rejection their mantra is manipulation, because if they don't get what they want from you, they will go to the next. I met my great love..he has pulled away, and I am heartbroken...but for that, all these gurus say 'oh, he wasn't the right one, move on, it is so easy, next'. Well, you know what? It isn't. Tears well in my eyes right now, because they don't get what we go through, because they are discerning, and losing someone who may be flawed but you love them, hurts...life is not a conveyor belt! But it feels like it sometime...
@@lisawentworth6831 i completely understand and agree with you. I'm currently separated and he still lives in the house, he moved into the spare room 😪. I feel the same way, he may have flaws but I deeply love him and I'm sure looking from the outside everyone would wonder why I'm so upset to lose him. According to what he tells me he wants to be able to explore and there's not much that I can do to get him back/keep our marriage. 14 years and I feel like I'm losing my best friend 😭💔.
Oh my goodness I hugged my boyfriend after a theater rehearsal where we got to hang out a bunch and he was literally dancing as he walked away. It wasn't even a long hug, it was a quick, 3 second, full hug. He had the biggest grin on his face as he walked away. It was adorable and I now realize why this had an effect on him. I'll definitely try to incorporate more touch into our relationship. Knees touching while sitting near each other, hand holding, stuff like that. 😁
Matt thanks for giving us the meaning of touch , it’s a form of encouragement and attraction, a nonverbal physical connection to assure him he can be himself and drop his walls ,his defenses and most of all I lie to hear touch is for healing. As an occupational therapist I have warm healing hands .and why yes I can melt his heart by the subtle touching to heal his stress insecurities fears. And you don’t expect sex as the end product. Pure simple expression of LOVe. Thanks for restoring the pure meaning of touch.thats great thanks
Wish I’d have known this 35 y ago. My late hubby grew up in non demonstrative household. Not breastfed. Not hugged. Never heard I love you. I had to teach him to hug. We did snuggle etc but sex was not what it could have been and I didn’t have the skills to teach him. But we were best friends and our marriage was the envy of others. Sigh.
Thank you this helped my best friend has had a lot of physical trauma in his life. Plus he is a widower so there is a lot of walls put up. Over time I’ve been able to get some of the barriers down but it is baby steps. I do get an occasionally hug from him.
Mat. I have previously watched your video on RASE in which you spoke to touch as a love language and the lameness of some physical interactions like the side hug. Well, when it came time to give the all important goodbye hug during a life transition moment a few weeks ago I went all in and gave my guy interest a super full body tight lasting hug - we made it through the location move and are continuing our relationship with an adjusted path forward. So I give you credit for helping me to achieve a deeper emotional connection through touch with my dear friend and perhaps someday something more man. Now I am all in learning to express my feelings and emotions through touch. Thank you. You are a Rock Star!
I found it hard and still do sometimes to comfort someone that just poured out their hearts, or venting and needs that comfort. It's so awkward and uncomfortable for me I just sit there like what now. Looking back now I was never hugged as a child. I grew up with corporal punishment but was never showed affection. it's so complex being a human 🤦🏾♀️
@@jennifermartinez-uw2wh Yeah he seeing your worth the way you see your worth needs to match up. We must not settle for less. Or we shouldnt give away too unless ensure men understand our worth
Yes,Mat, "touch" is key to letting your partner know how you feel about him. Give him the softening tool for becoming comfortable with you. Let him just surrender to your actions. Let him know that touch is so important in communicating with you.
I date men that are about 15 years younger then me, I’m 36, and one thing they enjoy is when they get to cuddle up in my arms, rest their head on my chest and I caress their hair and neck. It creates such a safe feeling and I feel that many of the boys really miss that, and often time miss out because they are supposed to be the big spoon and the protector. I love that I can give them a feeling of being protected and just receive my tender care.
I was sexually abused as a child, my ex partner and I didn't touch,and I just didn't know how to connect emotionally, we split after 18..I just felt we out grew each other. He actually did want too be touched, I have slowly understood to more emotional and what guys need.. then being a ice queen.
What a wonderful video, thank-you so much for sharing and your honesty! Thank you also for emphasizing the fact that touch is a man's primary love language, not words. Also that men work in a very competitive environment with their shields up as you described. Most women do not recognize this, and it is so important to understand! Lovely advice!
I rarely listen to these types of videos but the things you say are 100% the way I've always felt. It's so great to hear a man saying exactly what I've always thought.
@@Mat_Shaffer I did very much. You do a terrific job! I subscribed and will be watching more of your wonderful videos. I like your positivity and easy manner and of course the fact that you offer such good information.
I really love this video. You do such a great job at articulating your words, points and engaging your viewer with solid eye contact. It is such a blessing to know as a woman, there are men out there that have those same values and have the potential to be willing to receive physical intimacy and touch as coming from a sacred place. It can be a woman's primary love language too, a gift that comes from God. You are such a beautiful soul Mat! Keep encouraging healthy love with the world! ❤️
He will allow me to touch him for a while , when he pulls away I allow him space . It definitely triggers him because he curls up into a ball It’s taken me years to be able to allow a man to hold and cuddle me , hes been so beat down with life i find it heartbreaking. He’s helped me shift my anxious attachment ❤
Wow 😲 what a charismatic,vivacious and educated speaker you are!! Humor with knowledge and human behavior added in ...plus your presentations are very educational and amazing...thank you for all.
Just finding your material. Former attorney myself. You offer realistic, practical advice that's much more tangible for a woman dealing with a man. Masculine and feminine energy has become so clouded but the distinction is key how to treat each other, shaping the relationship. Perhaps you can suggest what to do in situations where there's mutual attraction, you know for certain he likes you but afraid to approach out of shyness and uncertainty. How is it you feel a strong vonnection to someone you haven't even talked too? Definition of that.
Greeaatttttt advice Mat! You consistently give messages born in knowledge & wisdom. THANK YOU. I believe you made the BEST career choice change, WE NEED YOU 💜💜💜
I have met someone who says he ❤ me, misses me,wants to be with me, I find it difficult to except after 38years of being with only one man in my life and the abuse I encountered by him for a very long time. I am healing and feel free of him, but I struggle with trusting this new man and it's overwhelming as I have never heard the beautiful words he says to me before and I don't believe him. Love your videos ❤❤
Omg I’m so glad to have come across your videos. I’m a woman who loves physical touch. I naturally touch others and have had to learn that sometimes it can communicate something I’m not trying to to communicate. But that said when I’m getting to know a guy I like, it’s easy for me to touch him. What you said about being his peace, comfort and sanctuary resonates with me. I was with a new guy and he asked me to hold him. I held him for what felt like forever rubbing the back of his head and neck. I absolutely loved it! I’m sure he did too. I have also messed up by assuming all guys like a certain type of touch and definitely will take your advice to ask first. I’ve found this so helpful thinking of touch as it’s own language. My husband of 18 years passed so I want to be the best partner I can be for my next. Thank you.
Your videos always blow my mind. I learn so much, you are like a professor!! This really should be a college course on emotional and relational communication!!!
NOV 2022. This popped up for me and it was something I have been needing to hear! Been married for 10 years and I forget how much our husband need touch just as much as sex. Thank you
This is great advice. My bf always says he loves how direct I am and it makes him know that I’m not a game player. He loves that I ask what he wants and tell him directly what I want. He finds the confidence hot.
This is all so fun and true! On my first date with my fiance, we were at a baseball game and I remember our shoulders touching most of the game and neither of us pulled away and that was really special for me. And when you said that you guarantee he's thinking of it, that made me smile 🥰
Hello to whom it may concern I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back and I believe he can also help you to attract back your lover and solve your relationship problems 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I watched your videos daily when i was single, and oh boi, did they come in handy recently! I have the best, most nurturing relationship ever. You are the best! ❤
Amazing! love hearing that! By the way, if you're interested, I’ll be part of a FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting this month. It’s a great opportunity to join the beta launch! You can learn more and sign up here: masteryofconnection.com/
We take turn massaging each other’s aches and pains. We’re in our mid 60’s 🥸so lots to work with. Nothing like a good neck rub or leg rub to get the juices flowing. So happy to find a man that likes to give as much as he receives. Blissful
Aw. Thank u for this Matt. Your content and videos are really amazing. I alwys watch you and Myles Munroe. You guyz are my relationship mentors. I just got married and learning how to cope with my partner in life. Thank for this! Really enjoyed watching your topics.
Hey Mat! You are my favorite Love Bomber! You always have the best advice! I will be meeting my online soul mate for the first time and can't wait to touch and hug him into my life!
I love this. So much great advice.. I've been seeing one guy for a few weeks and talking for a little over a month. We have seen each other 3 times but he hasn't tried to kiss me. He texts me every morning and night and sends me coffee to my job often. He went all out for Valentines day and has been a perfect gentleman. I was starting to wonder if he is unsure if he likes me or not lol just because he hasn't tried going for a kiss. After watching this video it makes me think maybe he is really just trying to take his time with me..
Breezy, we men tend to take longer to introspectively look at ourselves in relationships. If we have been in bad relationships in the past. We are always second guessing our feelings. Men aren't used to being complemented or being touched. In these days with #metoo and #believeallwomen. Men have become apprehensive on becoming physical or approaching women. This initial kiss may have to come from you. I would suggest maybe a kiss in a public place where he might feel more at ease with this type of physical contact. I know I am terrified of life altering false accusations. He maybe also. Give him time or you might ask him why he hasn't kissed you. Believe me he has thought about it, but maybe hasn't gotten the signs that you would like to be kissed. Nothing worse than going in for the kiss and you get the quick head turn. Awkward !! Good Luck
Absolutely touch is an Amazing way to grow in a relationship. There are so many different ways to touch, exploring is a wonderful way to get to know someone emotionally 🤗
My first time to watch your video and it gives me so much joy and learning how much important Touching is.. Thank you so much... From now on I will look for you always. ☺️🥰
I met a man after 6 months after my husband passed away, I wasn't looking for anyone,it just happened. Well he is so cuddly, I love it. My late husband wasn't as a touchy feely guy ,so I'll take all the hugs I can get. 😁😜❤️
My marriage ended after 18 yrs no connection no touching and now with my new guy this has been the golden rule since day 1. I wished I knew this before
Thank u for sharing this...two of the things my guy(now ex) loved was long heartfelt full body hugs ...and rubbing the back of his neck and hair..it drove him crazy everytime.
Matt your videos are so helpful I wish you had sets available for sale so I could rewatch them they are just the best of the whole lot. ❤️ I am older and in a wonderful relationship with a younger man. You are such a help keep it going you are helping soooooo many people find the real love they deserve. You are a wonderful tutor. Thank you so much ❤️ 💖 💓 ♥️ 💗 💛 ❤️ 💖
Awwwwww i must watch this Mat! Where have you been all this time in my life! I wanna spice things up bcox my guy is pretty a shy one,but he will do everything i " ask " for ;) i want to pamper him
Your tips are so helpful. I’m finally dating again after my previous partner passing away so I’ve been binging quite a few videos. Everything feels so new again and tho I’m enjoying this new chapter and relationship and I never want to feel like I’m just doing the things my previous partner liked. It’s different being with someone after your partner passes away.. it’s the feeling of a new you that second guesses your actions or makes you feel like you can’t share certain parts of yourself or your life if that makes sense? So getting into this new relationship that I’m very happy in, it’s been a beautiful journey taking things slow, however it’s like I forgot how to be emotionally physically in a relationship. Like I know what to do but I find myself questioning if I should or if that’s the right thing to do? I was super nurturing before and I still am lol I just I get nervous that maybe he won’t like it or maybe I’m just doing that cause my late partner did.. I want to make sure I’m doing the right things I guess.. as silly as it sounds… your videos have given my a lot of courage and strength to open my heart and allow love in.
You are very right mett. I'm going through this right now from him. because I just allowed him to started touching me, and he can't get over it he messages me time to time saying he has been thinking about me every time 😄❣
I did that whith my son has a baby not knowing it can take stress a way i tell my family i love them and hug them i read year's a go good fore the brain,
Okay Matt...typical guy my husband was with bipolar one and anger management issues who refused to take medication for it. 30yrs together(died 4yrs ago.)I did what you said and touched him ever so slightly as if my hand was a feather upper body evertwhere front and back to relax him and he loved it and would fall🥱😴asleep. 💤 Thank you for your confirmation because he never knew it before.😌😌😌
For the first time in my life this guy has managed to freeze me. I cannot touch him, i cannot lay down next to him without being afraid to touch him. Even riding on a scooter with him I could not hold on to him. I do not know what it is but does not promise well. I will let this go. It is really sad. There is something frigid about him, closes my heart down.
4:53 yes the job makes us put up walls and hold that nasty Crabby energy . The hardest is when that negative energy can’t be dropped it kills a marriage. I got 40 years and it’s a roller coaster emotional ride when other things are divided us. Don’t give up Talk and cuddle. Break those walls because we don’t like talking about our mistakes of guilt. Please please work on healing ❤️🩹 old old painful memories.
You've got great advice, communication and healing old wounds are so important. Breaking down those walls can really keep the connection strong. Thanks for sharing!
I like your tips! “ safe container” ...mmm what’s a better word for this? safe person to go to to relax and be himself and feel totally loved and embraced? Or other? 😀🤓
Wow this make sense I never knew this but my boyfriend be all over me to the point it felt right to touch him the same. I notice when I do touch him he ball up like a baby under me. It’s soo cute but he’s the only guy I ever did this with. ❤️😘🥰😍
→ Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting 2/17/25! masteryofconnection.com/
A heads up about hugs. Hugs release the binding hormone oxytocin... for women it releases after 8 seconds of hugging, but for men it takes 20 seconds to release... so hug him... hug him for at least 20 seconds. You'll both get the oxytocin release which will cause bonding.
Facts!
Nice! I did not know that. Thanks for the advice 🖤
according to what?
According to her experience and knolwlrge which by her answer she has a good sound mind unlike some of the others here today, myself included mind and is young to help and guide us, so if u think u can do better, genus, I’m sure we’ll happy and surprised to hear your wise words😊
Be
Out guest
@@tanhue1265 Science. There's actual scientific studies on this. And of course, real daily life results.
1. TOUCH HIM!! OOOOH baby!!!
2. Hold his hands.
3.Loooonnngg Hug!! Tight long booobie hug!!!
4. Caress back of his head.
5. Cuddle up!
6.Let him hold you.
7. Touch is a form of communication and bonding.
8. Ask him where he likes to be touch. Ask permission first before you touch that "No No Square!"
9.Use touch as healing.
10. Treat a gentle man like a real gentleman!! Don't cross that line until he cuts that red line FIRST!
Star Light
I took notes!!! Thank you !!!
Great point!
*Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.*
Thank you for sharing!
I have learned that my man (and previous men I've dated) melt like butter when you are cuddling in bed (or on the couch) and I get a bit higher than him and lay his head kind of on my chest. Stroking his hair and the sides of his face, and gently kissing his forehead and cheeks where I can reach. Absolutely melts any man to be touched like this! I think ot brings out the mother's nurturing touch that they need from a woman... they will start leaning into yiu often to receive this loving touch. Its really intimate in a pure loving way.
Hello to whom it may concern I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back and I believe he can also help you to attract back your lover and solve your relationship problems 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Whtsspp him
🙏🙏🙏🙏💯💯
I agree, definitely being kissed on the forehead, anyone know why this is a motherly thing to do?, I heard because it’s a way to check for a fever
Thanks for sharing!
Before me my husband thought that any time he was touched it meant sex because no other woman had taken the time to just touch him. I had to literally tell him "no, just relax and let me touch you. You're not touching me right now." It took some time but now he's very much into being "petted". Lol
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
Thank you for sharing. This answers a question for me❤
@kelligray1848 cool, not sure which part helped, but always glad to be of help to other ladies put there. 😊
I actually love it when a guy feels free to lay his head in my lap... and allows me to stroke his hair and his temples. Whatever the status of our relationship is, I feel like this is so intimate and not something I do with every guy I'd date... it also makes me feel very motherly lol
Totally agree...😂
Absolutely! 😉
He loves to lay his head in my lap and I scratch his head. He falls asleep in my lap everytime. I hold him while he sleeps and rub his head while we watch a movie or even football. We alternate holding each other……it’s so sensual and healing ❤️
I’m in a long distance relationship with a soldier; I agree with the hug as an expression of trust and safety as you described. I asked him to tell me how he was going to greet me when he came home, and he said with a long hug. There you go! Safety and trust!
Thank you for sharing! ❤
I am a touchy kind of a person. This is what I look for in a man. Being affectionate matters to me.
Thanks for sharing Marylou ❤️
My man has ED how can I help m? He is very ❤ lovable I did fall in love with him knowing this
Your advices come from a very positive place. You teach people Love, not manipulation. Thank you!
I appreciate that!
Ha! You put imto words what I couldn't quite put my finger on! I just knew I loved these advice and guidance videos more than any others 💜💜💜🙏🏾
Thank you so much!!
FYI: if a man doesn't want touch other than sex, forget him...same if he won't touch, hold hands, in public
I appreciate your opinion on this!
1. Use touch as an encouraging and invitation thing to him, in early stages of dating, take his hand for a second, sustainand contact f.e. with legs, touch his waist, when you walk by him
2. A tool to create safety and trust, long full body tender hug, when he comes; holding and touch his back of the head; or allow him to hold you - it will activate his strong power feeling
3. Touch for healing purpose:
Thank you!
I just love your real, open, honest wisdom. I’m in my mid sixties and wish I could of known these things forty years ago. Never too late though and with years of marriage and experience, divorced now, I am in a relationship with a man six years younger. Mat, your guidance is really helping me, especially at this stage of life and love. Thank you!
I’m so happy for you my dear!
@@Mat_Shaffer h b nx hi g CC CC’s icg.
I I it juc i u fiuiih😅I uucuvuu uuiuui
I am so glad you have this resourse
Listening to Mat got me pregnant 😂😂😂😂😂 yall it really works! Thanks Mat 😁❤👍🏾 keep posting 😅
You're welcome!! ❤
Im dating this guy and he had a rough week coz one of his pets died, and he was lying in bed on his stomach next to me, and i started touching the back of his head while we were talking, after a few mins he told me "I feel so relaxed, im falling asleep". I also caress the back of his head from time to time when he's driving. Touch is really a powerful thing, Knowing where to touch your man to make him feel re-assured and secured would be really helpful in the long run
Great point!
Mat I appreciate the vulnerability it takes to share your gifts and talents with the world. I feel gratitude for your insight and I'm better because of it. 🙏❤
I appreciate that!
I am a hugger…my favorite thing to do is after a hug is to slowly move my arms from his neck and allow my hand to rest on one his cheeks to a moment with a look in his eyes and a smile! I usually get pulled back in for another embrace 💕
Amazing! ❤️
,
Tremendous info. Wish to God I knew this years ago. My family never hugged each other. We never saw our parents hug or touch or kiss each other. I feel like I have missed out on so much &
It has affected my male partners through the years Thank you so much.
Thanks for sharing!
I can really relate to this.
Gotta go back to hugging, specially my dad isn’t that affectionate and whenever I hugged him cause I thought he needed it after his mothers passing and I think he was uncomfortable said let go of me so I stopped hugging people
So I don’t make them uncomfortable. 🤷🏻♀️I guess sometimes I find it difficult for the reaction I can get back. Gotta work on that again so I can succeed on a relationship
So basically treat him like a king but hold him like a baby 😂
LOL!
😂😂😂
My twin flame keeps coming back to me ...for over 40 yrs ..we never lost touch even through our lives not married to each other ...but we recently got together again and never missed a beat
I sure wish that i could find another love real soon. Before i die. And it would be a pleasure to find a good man like you. God Bless you
...they are so rare, and they seem to be hiding beneath the veil of the bad, loud men that always seem to rise to the surface and are everywhere!
@@lisawentworth6831 I think that you are right.
@@tressielassabe5779 Thanks! People are usually telling me how wrong I am...I was just thinking about it...picture a busy city street. A woman, not dressed up or trying to attract attention, on her way to work or running errands. Men will catcall, invade her space, gawk, glare, even if it is a no make-up and glasses day. Where are the good men then? They are very discerning, and only meet you by Divine Intervention or some fluke accident. The loud men, the wrong guys are EVERYWHERE...men don't understand this; there is not a moments peace from them! Even in this pandemic, they find their way through the woodwork by scams on social media and invade your home when you are minding your own business! Now, these relationship gurus like Matt, it's all well and good to say that you will meet one, or they can say [I always love this line], that you were not prepared and your intention was not right to receive them, along with any other kind of luck n the Universe. Look, I'm 57...I've basically been primed to receive this love since birth...where is he? I hate dated hundreds of the bad guys, married a few...because THEY ARE THE ONLY THING ON THE MENU!! And loading one mistake after the other doesn't solve the problem for a good man and love. Then I get blamed...why are you attracting this, you were not ready to receive this. Look, if I am minding my own business, living in whatever country, whatever environment, the loud, bad men will always be rising on the top, because they don't fear rejection their mantra is manipulation, because if they don't get what they want from you, they will go to the next. I met my great love..he has pulled away, and I am heartbroken...but for that, all these gurus say 'oh, he wasn't the right one, move on, it is so easy, next'. Well, you know what? It isn't. Tears well in my eyes right now, because they don't get what we go through, because they are discerning, and losing someone who may be flawed but you love them, hurts...life is not a conveyor belt! But it feels like it sometime...
@@lisawentworth6831 i completely understand and agree with you. I'm currently separated and he still lives in the house, he moved into the spare room 😪. I feel the same way, he may have flaws but I deeply love him and I'm sure looking from the outside everyone would wonder why I'm so upset to lose him. According to what he tells me he wants to be able to explore and there's not much that I can do to get him back/keep our marriage. 14 years and I feel like I'm losing my best friend 😭💔.
Oh my goodness I hugged my boyfriend after a theater rehearsal where we got to hang out a bunch and he was literally dancing as he walked away. It wasn't even a long hug, it was a quick, 3 second, full hug. He had the biggest grin on his face as he walked away. It was adorable and I now realize why this had an effect on him. I'll definitely try to incorporate more touch into our relationship. Knees touching while sitting near each other, hand holding, stuff like that. 😁
Wonderful! I’m so glad this helped you!
We were walking around while we had for our table at the restaurant. I put my hand in his arm. Not long after that he held my hand.
Awww! So happy for you, beautiful!
Matt thanks for giving us the meaning of touch , it’s a form of encouragement and attraction, a nonverbal physical connection to assure him he can be himself and drop his walls ,his defenses and most of all I lie to hear touch is for healing. As an occupational therapist I have warm healing hands .and why yes I can melt his heart by the subtle touching to heal his stress insecurities fears. And you don’t expect sex as the end product. Pure simple expression of LOVe. Thanks for restoring the pure meaning of touch.thats great thanks
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
Wish I’d have known this 35 y ago. My late hubby grew up in non demonstrative household. Not breastfed. Not hugged. Never heard I love you. I had to teach him to hug. We did snuggle etc but sex was not what it could have been and I didn’t have the skills to teach him. But we were best friends and our marriage was the envy of others. Sigh.
If it's not too personal - what went wrong?
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you this helped my best friend has had a lot of physical trauma in his life. Plus he is a widower so there is a lot of walls put up. Over time I’ve been able to get some of the barriers down but it is baby steps. I do get an occasionally hug from him.
Happy to hear that! ❤️
Mat. I have previously watched your video on RASE in which you spoke to touch as a love language and the lameness of some physical interactions like the side hug. Well, when it came time to give the all important goodbye hug during a life transition moment a few weeks ago I went all in and gave my guy interest a super full body tight lasting hug - we made it through the location move and are continuing our relationship with an adjusted path forward. So I give you credit for helping me to achieve a deeper emotional connection through touch with my dear friend and perhaps someday something more man. Now I am all in learning to express my feelings and emotions through touch. Thank you. You are a Rock Star!
WOW amazing share hon, so so happy for your breakthrough!!!
Touching is the language of LOVE
" Touch is a beautiful form of connection! "
Beautiful definition!
And it's TRUE!
Thank you!
I found it hard and still do sometimes to comfort someone that just poured out their hearts, or venting and needs that comfort. It's so awkward and uncomfortable for me I just sit there like what now. Looking back now I was never hugged as a child. I grew up with corporal punishment but was never showed affection. it's so complex being a human 🤦🏾♀️
Omg I'm the same I freak out or sometimes I pat em then realised omg I'm patting like a dog geez
Thanks for sharing!
I have given parts of me no one else in my life has ever gotten it still wasn’t enough.
maybe he was not worth it?
@@coppersulphate002 He was he just didn’t understand that I knew my worth even more
@@jennifermartinez-uw2wh Yeah he seeing your worth the way you see your worth needs to match up. We must not settle for less. Or we shouldnt give away too unless ensure men understand our worth
he doesnt SEE you fully therefore he isnt worthy of you
@@Mat_Shaffer thank you!
Yes,Mat, "touch" is key to letting your partner know how you feel about him. Give him the softening tool for becoming comfortable with you. Let him just surrender to your actions. Let him know that touch is so important in communicating with you.
I’m happy this resonated with you ❤
I date men that are about 15 years younger then me, I’m 36, and one thing they enjoy is when they get to cuddle up in my arms, rest their head on my chest and I caress their hair and neck. It creates such a safe feeling and I feel that many of the boys really miss that, and often time miss out because they are supposed to be the big spoon and the protector. I love that I can give them a feeling of being protected and just receive my tender care.
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
I was sexually abused as a child, my ex partner and I didn't touch,and I just didn't know how to connect emotionally, we split after 18..I just felt we out grew each other.
He actually did want too be touched, I have slowly understood to more emotional and what guys need.. then being a ice queen.
Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful video, thank-you so much for sharing and your honesty! Thank you also for emphasizing the fact that touch is a man's primary love language, not words. Also that men work in a very competitive environment with their shields up as you described. Most women do not recognize this, and it is so important to understand! Lovely advice!
Glad it was helpful!
You are God’s gift to women, Mat! Our secret envoy to better understand, cherish and value our awesome men!
I so appreciate you saying that!
I rarely listen to these types of videos but the things you say are 100% the way I've always felt. It's so great to hear a man saying exactly what I've always thought.
Glad you enjoyed it!
@@Mat_Shaffer I did very much. You do a terrific job! I subscribed and will be watching more of your wonderful videos. I like your positivity and easy manner and of course the fact that you offer such good information.
I really love this video. You do such a great job at articulating your words, points and engaging your viewer with solid eye contact. It is such a blessing to know as a woman, there are men out there that have those same values and have the potential to be willing to receive physical intimacy and touch as coming from a sacred place. It can be a woman's primary love language too, a gift that comes from God. You are such a beautiful soul Mat! Keep encouraging healthy love with the world! ❤️
Glad you like it Thanks 🤗
He will allow me to touch him for a while , when he pulls away I allow him space . It definitely triggers him because he curls up into a ball
It’s taken me years to be able to allow a man to hold and cuddle me , hes been so beat down with life i find it heartbreaking. He’s helped me shift my anxious attachment ❤
Happy for you my dear! 💗
Powerful comment!
I can so relate to this… I respect you…
@@shadiap Thank you 🙏❤️
Wow 😲 what a charismatic,vivacious and educated speaker you are!! Humor with knowledge and human behavior added in ...plus your presentations are very educational and amazing...thank you for all.
That's very sweet, Adelene Guzzo!🙏❤ Thanks much🙌
Just finding your material. Former attorney myself. You offer realistic, practical advice that's much more tangible for a woman dealing with a man. Masculine and feminine energy has become so clouded but the distinction is key how to treat each other, shaping the relationship. Perhaps you can suggest what to do in situations where there's mutual attraction, you know for certain he likes you but afraid to approach out of shyness and uncertainty. How is it you feel a strong vonnection to someone you haven't even talked too? Definition of that.
Thanks for sharing!
Greeaatttttt advice Mat! You consistently give messages born in knowledge & wisdom. THANK YOU.
I believe you made the BEST career choice change, WE NEED YOU
💜💜💜
Glad it was helpful!
I have met someone who says he ❤ me, misses me,wants to be with me, I find it difficult to except after 38years of being with only one man in my life and the abuse I encountered by him for a very long time.
I am healing and feel free of him, but I struggle with trusting this new man and it's overwhelming as I have never heard the beautiful words he says to me before and I don't believe him.
Love your videos ❤❤
Omg I’m so glad to have come across your videos. I’m a woman who loves physical touch. I naturally touch others and have had to learn that sometimes it can communicate something I’m not trying to to communicate. But that said when I’m getting to know a guy I like, it’s easy for me to touch him. What you said about being his peace, comfort and sanctuary resonates with me. I was with a new guy and he asked me to hold him. I held him for what felt like forever rubbing the back of his head and neck. I absolutely loved it! I’m sure he did too. I have also messed up by assuming all guys like a certain type of touch and definitely will take your advice to ask first. I’ve found this so helpful thinking of touch as it’s own language. My husband of 18 years passed so I want to be the best partner I can be for my next. Thank you.
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
Your videos always blow my mind. I learn so much, you are like a professor!! This really should be a college course on emotional and relational communication!!!
Thanks for sharing!
My primary is touch and secondary is quality time I love these tips 🥰
Love that!
Your videos have helped me in many situations. I must say, I'm diggin' the hair!!
Awesome! Thank you!
NOV 2022. This popped up for me and it was something I have been needing to hear! Been married for 10 years and I forget how much our husband need touch just as much as sex. Thank you
You're welcome! Happy to help ❤
you have a shining energy and open heart I appreciate that
Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart!
This is great advice. My bf always says he loves how direct I am and it makes him know that I’m not a game player. He loves that I ask what he wants and tell him directly what I want. He finds the confidence hot.
Thanks for sharing!
This is all so fun and true! On my first date with my fiance, we were at a baseball game and I remember our shoulders touching most of the game and neither of us pulled away and that was really special for me. And when you said that you guarantee he's thinking of it, that made me smile 🥰
You’re fabulous! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and spreading the love. 💖
My love language as a woman is primarily touch and my husband words of affirmation
Hello to whom it may concern I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back and I believe he can also help you to attract back your lover and solve your relationship problems 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Text him on WhatsApp
@@mistressevamzonia7087 number?
@@ewm4266 +1(,9,7,1,),2,6,4,2,9,1,0
Happy to hear that!
My 3rd time here Matt. You’re very educational and helpful to me.
And you’re a great lol.
Awesome! Thank you!
I watched your videos daily when i was single, and oh boi, did they come in handy recently! I have the best, most nurturing relationship ever. You are the best! ❤
I’m so glad this helped you!
You are one in a million teacher tell us make our marriage great
Amazing! love hearing that! By the way, if you're interested, I’ll be part of a FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting this month. It’s a great opportunity to join the beta launch! You can learn more and sign up here: masteryofconnection.com/
This video is pure gold! ❤️🥰 Thank you, Mat!
You're so welcome! Glad you enjoyed it!
I like how you recap the content at the end of your videos, thank you
You're welcome. I hope it helps.
We take turn massaging each other’s aches and pains. We’re in our mid 60’s 🥸so lots to work with. Nothing like a good neck rub or leg rub to get the juices flowing. So happy to find a man that likes to give as much as he receives. Blissful
Thank you so much for sharing!
Healing is touching
Absolutely!
OMG! I appreciate this video I am 57 and didn't know but I will from now on 🙂
Glad it was helpful! ❤️❤️
Aw. Thank u for this Matt. Your content and videos are really amazing. I alwys watch you and Myles Munroe. You guyz are my relationship mentors. I just got married and learning how to cope with my partner in life. Thank for this! Really enjoyed watching your topics.
Hey Mat! You are my favorite Love Bomber! You always have the best advice! I will be meeting my online soul mate for the first time and can't wait to touch and hug him into my life!
Wow, thank you! so so happy for you my dear! So glad my content supports you :)
I love this. So much great advice.. I've been seeing one guy for a few weeks and talking for a little over a month. We have seen each other 3 times but he hasn't tried to kiss me. He texts me every morning and night and sends me coffee to my job often. He went all out for Valentines day and has been a perfect gentleman. I was starting to wonder if he is unsure if he likes me or not lol just because he hasn't tried going for a kiss. After watching this video it makes me think maybe he is really just trying to take his time with me..
Wonderful! I’m so glad this helped you!
As soon as I read this, it was like a reflection looking back at me. I am now wondering the same thing.
Breezy, we men tend to take longer to introspectively look at ourselves in relationships. If we have been in bad relationships in the past. We are always second guessing our feelings. Men aren't used to being complemented or being touched. In these days with #metoo and #believeallwomen. Men have become apprehensive on becoming physical or approaching women. This initial kiss may have to come from you. I would suggest maybe a kiss in a public place where he might feel more at ease with this type of physical contact. I know I am terrified of life altering false accusations. He maybe also. Give him time or you might ask him why he hasn't kissed you. Believe me he has thought about it, but maybe hasn't gotten the signs that you would like to be kissed. Nothing worse than going in for the kiss and you get the quick head turn. Awkward !! Good Luck
Mat your coaching advices helps a lot in a relationship im so inspired i can't resist your videos im so in love with them ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
Absolutely touch is an Amazing way to grow in a relationship. There are so many different ways to touch, exploring is a wonderful way to get to know someone emotionally 🤗
Well said, you got it right!
I ove your story. It takes the pressure off on a first date ♥️.
Have always been hesitant to touch or show my feelings. Your video has been fabulous. Than you.
YESSS you got it my dear!! so glad this supported you 🙂
My first time to watch your video and it gives me so much joy and learning how much important Touching is..
Thank you so much...
From now on I will look for you always. ☺️🥰
So nice of you
I met a man after 6 months after my husband passed away, I wasn't looking for anyone,it just happened.
Well he is so cuddly, I love it. My late husband wasn't as a touchy feely guy ,so I'll take all the hugs I can get. 😁😜❤️
Thanks for sharing!
I'm learning with every video I watch I just need a man to practice all this tips ☺️
You got this!
Hhhh he will find you ❤
My favorite way to touch a man was with eye contacting and gently holding his hands
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
My marriage ended after 18 yrs no connection no touching and now with my new guy this has been the golden rule since day 1. I wished I knew this before
Thanks for sharing!
I cannot tell you how awesome your advice is! It TOTALLY WORKS
Great to hear! 🥰
Thank u for sharing this...two of the things my guy(now ex) loved was long heartfelt full body hugs ...and rubbing the back of his neck and hair..it drove him crazy everytime.
You're very welcome. I promise there are good guys out there my dear! Keep going.
Thank you for your well done , professional advice. Very good! I really like your videos. You are so handsome too. Blessings!
You are so welcome!
❤️ JOIN MY FREE LOVE COURSE STARTING 2/21/22 - masteryofconnection.com ❤️
Hey Mat, I enjoy your content. Do you have any advice for virgin women who are >> 30 years old
You are def in the right thing..Your beautiful positive ,happy nature is so addictive!!
Yes! Thank you!
Matt your videos are so helpful I wish you had sets available for sale so I could rewatch them they are just the best of the whole lot. ❤️ I am older and in a wonderful relationship with a younger man. You are such a help keep it going you are helping soooooo many people find the real love they deserve. You are a wonderful tutor.
Thank you so much ❤️ 💖 💓 ♥️ 💗 💛 ❤️ 💖
That's very sweet Lee❤️ Thanks for sharing🙏
Awwwwww i must watch this Mat! Where have you been all this time in my life! I wanna spice things up bcox my guy is pretty a shy one,but he will do everything i " ask " for ;) i want to pamper him
I'm here all the time!
Thank you May! You just clarify my doubts. I needed to know this
You are so welcome. Glad it was helpful🙂
Wow Matt this is nice topic thanks for sharing very important and exercise in a playful wayy👍😍
Glad you enjoyed it
IT'S about communicating affectionately that's really nicely put
Correct!
Your tips are so helpful. I’m finally dating again after my previous partner passing away so I’ve been binging quite a few videos. Everything feels so new again and tho I’m enjoying this new chapter and relationship and I never want to feel like I’m just doing the things my previous partner liked. It’s different being with someone after your partner passes away.. it’s the feeling of a new you that second guesses your actions or makes you feel like you can’t share certain parts of yourself or your life if that makes sense? So getting into this new relationship that I’m very happy in, it’s been a beautiful journey taking things slow, however it’s like I forgot how to be emotionally physically in a relationship. Like I know what to do but I find myself questioning if I should or if that’s the right thing to do? I was super nurturing before and I still am lol I just I get nervous that maybe he won’t like it or maybe I’m just doing that cause my late partner did.. I want to make sure I’m doing the right things I guess.. as silly as it sounds… your videos have given my a lot of courage and strength to open my heart and allow love in.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
Long hugs from behind! One of my favorite ways to hug him
You’re the best! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and lighting up the comments. 💖
You are very right mett. I'm going through this right now from him. because I just allowed him to started touching me, and he can't get over it he messages me time to time saying he has been thinking about me every time 😄❣
Awww! Thank you so much. I'm so happy for you, beautiful! ☺️
I did that whith my son has a baby not knowing it can take stress a way i tell my family i love them and hug them i read year's a go good fore the brain,
I Love to touch a man; I love.
I’m a warm, fun-loving Leo. 🦁
It fuels my soul emotionally, to touch a man in a “gentle way.”🧡
Thank you, Matt for your shared expert advice; I love listening to you. God bless 😇
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you. 💕
great video, we forget how simple touch and hugs are so powerful. Thanks! looking forward to more
So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come!
Loved this. Very helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Glad it was helpful!
Okay Matt...typical guy my husband was with bipolar one and anger management issues who refused to take medication for it. 30yrs together(died 4yrs ago.)I did what you said and touched him ever so slightly as if my hand was a feather upper body evertwhere front and back to relax him and he loved it and would fall🥱😴asleep. 💤 Thank you for your confirmation because he never knew it before.😌😌😌
Thanks for sharing!:)
For the first time in my life this guy has managed to freeze me. I cannot touch him, i cannot lay down next to him without being afraid to touch him. Even riding on a scooter with him I could not hold on to him. I do not know what it is but does not promise well. I will let this go. It is really sad. There is something frigid about him, closes my heart down.
Thanks for sharing!
It's nice to know that I have automatically done the right things without knowing 🥰
Happy to hear that my dear
4:53 yes the job makes us put up walls and hold that nasty Crabby energy . The hardest is when that negative energy can’t be dropped it kills a marriage. I got 40 years and it’s a roller coaster emotional ride when other things are divided us. Don’t give up Talk and cuddle. Break those walls because we don’t like talking about our mistakes of guilt. Please please work on healing ❤️🩹 old old painful memories.
You've got great advice, communication and healing old wounds are so important. Breaking down those walls can really keep the connection strong. Thanks for sharing!
My husband and I been married 38 years now the kids are all gone and it’s like we are strangers we don’t even know each other it’s hard
Time to get reacquainted
It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new
Please update did you get better???❤❤❤
Thank-you ❤
You are so welcome!
Hi there, → Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting next month! masteryofconnection.com/
You're a great teacher, Mat. 😊
Aw thanks you’re making me blush;)
I like your energy 😊
Thanks!
This was very beneficial to help me understand how me react differently and to not take it personal just ask open a line of communication
I hope it helps, Girlru.❤️
I like your tips!
“ safe container” ...mmm what’s a better word for this? safe person to go to to relax and be himself and feel totally loved and embraced? Or other? 😀🤓
Many thanks! ❤️
Thank you for a good group of ideas
You are so welcome!
I am loving these videos. Thank you. I am learning so much 🌈🙏
Thanks so much my dear!
14:00 Thanks for bringing this up. 14:25
You are so welcome! Happy I could be of help.
Lol what a funny video, Mat. I really had no idea until recently how many men crave touch, and not in a creepy way. Thanks for the info!!
Glad you enjoyed it
Wow this make sense I never knew this but my boyfriend be all over me to the point it felt right to touch him the same. I notice when I do touch him he ball up like a baby under me. It’s soo cute but he’s the only guy I ever did this with. ❤️😘🥰😍
Amazing my dear so so happy for you!