4 Ways to Tell if He's Falling in Love... or Love Bombing you

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.ค. 2024
  • Learn how to tell if a man is falling for you OR just trying to manipulate and control you through affection in this deep-dive video!
    → Get my FREE magnetic love affirmations training: bit.ly/42As5TF
    Is he love-bombing me? How can I tell if he's using me? How do I know if he really loves me? I get asked questions like these ALL THE TIME by clients, students and women in my life... so I created a video explaining the 4 key ways to tell the difference between early-stage romantic love and a man who is just trying to use romance to use and manipulate you.
    TIMELINE
    0:00 - Intro
    1:02 - Defining Honeymoon Phase and Love Bombing
    3:02 - 1) Freedom vs. Control
    5:27 - 2) Fast (but Controlled Build) vs. Runaway Train
    7:58 - 3) Realistic Compliments vs. Idealized Flattery
    9:57 - 4) Gradual Shifts vs. Abrupt Transitions
    13:14 - Another Important Love Bombing Point
    14:24 - Recap of All 4 Ways
    If you want more support in creating the life and love of your dreams, this is how I can help you ❤️ 👇
    👉 I send 1-2 POWERFUL weekly emails filled with deep insights on men, relationship and stepping into your power - (this will also give you first access to all my new programs and courses! You can sign up here (don't worry I''ll never spam you!) → bit.ly/4btQ8Yh
    👉 If you want a DEEP DIVE into your love life and the maximum level of personal support me from in your relationships, I work with a select group of women as a 1-on-1 coach. I am not currently accepting new clients, but you can apply to join my VIP client waitlist and I will email you as soon as new spots open up! Apply here → bit.ly/4byESdm
    Let's Stay Connected!
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    • 4 Ways to Tell if He's...

ความคิดเห็น • 741

  • @beguileme8201
    @beguileme8201 2 ปีที่แล้ว +223

    Unfortunately, Narcissists want to "know" all about you so that they can gaslight you later. You cannot know this early in a relationship.

    • @littlemissy8356
      @littlemissy8356 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      As you grow older you realize that keeping your business to yourself is the thing to do.

    • @paulaparkman5127
      @paulaparkman5127 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gotta wait 3 months they can't hide for much more then 3 months.

    • @llararulens8895
      @llararulens8895 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not all ppl who live bomb are narcissist

    • @abstract3213
      @abstract3213 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      But in return they don't share anything with you about them.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @swakefield6677
    @swakefield6677 2 ปีที่แล้ว +280

    Initially, the narcissistic attention is very intense and complimentary, they want to know everything about you and everything they find out is perfect. You are put on a pedestal and they are texting or speaking with you constantly - and often they make a point of wanting to know your deepest fantasies - they will tempt you to share even if you wouldn’t normally. Once they get the hang of it, they will feed your ideal image back to you - making you feel you’ve just met your soulmate - even if it really is just a reflection of your own thoughts. In reality, narcissists find it much harder to deliver because to them sex is about supply and control, the other person in the equation is just there to supply fuel, there is no sense of real connection (although sometimes it might superficially seem that way because of them following scripts from romance/porn). If it seems very intense, it’s probably not real. Walk away ladies, the shitload of trouble afterwards - never worth it.

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know of a man| who can heIp you bring your ex back permanent within 2days without delay🌟✨✨

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wh'tsapp him for heIp🌈🌈

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468(☉。☉)!🌈🌈

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468(☉。☉)! it really worked I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up🌈🌈

    • @swakefield6677
      @swakefield6677 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@jamesoweredaba3403 Thank you James. He’s already been replaced with something more precious ❤️

  • @sunshinedayz7032
    @sunshinedayz7032 2 ปีที่แล้ว +161

    Go s-l-o-w getting to know men. Be open and sweet, but guard your heart. Don't have sex until you really get to know him(wait until love or until you are sure of his character and commitment. Then less chance of us getting used)
    It is easier to leave if intimacy hasn't happened and we aren't sexually attached.

    • @patriciabarthe3335
      @patriciabarthe3335 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes!!!!

    • @moonmissy
      @moonmissy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Totally! The best way to know if a guy is really into you or wants to be in you is to drag it out. I would say 3 months is a good test. Most guys who aren't interested in anything but sex will lose patience.

    • @EMichaelBall
      @EMichaelBall ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @L V Men with options won’t wait three months.

    • @moonmissy
      @moonmissy ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@EMichaelBall, Then they're not worth it to have around. Men who readily run to the easy route will leave any relationship when it hits a rough patch. Those types of men just want the rewards without the investment. Not worth keeping around! Valued women only invest in people who are willing to invest in them.

    • @EMichaelBall
      @EMichaelBall ปีที่แล้ว

      @L V “Those types of men just want the rewards without the investment.” And guess what? They can get away with it! They are in such demand, and they are so few in number, that they don’t need to bother investing hard. In fact, they want it that way, too. If a woman wants to leave, or wants too much from him, fine. Next! That is The Way of The Chad. They play by very different rules than you would like, and guess what? They always win. Go look in your friendzone that you and virtually all your friends abandoned in your 20’s, and see who’s still interested. Good luck!

  • @allywolf9182
    @allywolf9182 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Narcissists can give you everything you want. They clearly do at the beginning. But then they choose to remove that behavior

    • @lyndseybell8711
      @lyndseybell8711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      They can but they cannot stop the manipulation or the gaslighting.

    • @lumity238
      @lumity238 ปีที่แล้ว

      Narcs will suck the life out of you, Beware 👿

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @user-ee4xu9lh4k
    @user-ee4xu9lh4k 2 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    I have learned, the extremely hard way, to start making a pro/con list with each new interaction. It serves several purposes: it gets your considerations and thought processes outside your head where they can be tangible as separate from you and helps with objectivity when you’re caught up in feels; serves as a record of the things you notice, want to remember, and red flags; serves as validation to your own experience so that you are less likely to let things slide that really shouldn’t. Just starting the list primes your brain and sets you up to have space to observe and choose, like meditation does.
    Second tip is to get yourself into such a good calm fulfilled place in your life and your daily experience that the upsetting impact a toxic person will have on you will be strong. You will be unable to function, your mind will be consumed, and you’ll feel like you’re going utterly crazy in short order so it seems like you’re the one that’s such the problem by reflecting back to them your feelings that they will disengage and run away. When toxic people self-select out of your life, because you are respecting and honoring yourself, that initial sense of rejection and abandonment can quickly be transmuted to triumph and pride.
    The more and more you notice, recognize, and honor your feelings, the more impenetrable you’ll be to the ever increasing inevitability that you will have to go through this process.
    If you’re feeling crazy, it’s them, not you.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Great tips! 🙌❤️

    • @bridgetmurphyv
      @bridgetmurphyv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Mat_Shaffer I actually had a boyfriend who love bombing me I tried to break up with him and he won't take no for an answer

    • @bethanienaylor
      @bethanienaylor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@bridgetmurphyv it's good to have a friend there who cares about you and won't let you go back without warning you what you're getting yourself into.

    • @mahrukhjillani8363
      @mahrukhjillani8363 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bethanienaylor f

    • @lanashowler5906
      @lanashowler5906 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yep i do the exact same thing .... Saved me so much pain got out at 3 months .

  • @AnnieSingz
    @AnnieSingz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    Im a female I was raised by a narc. I definitely have traits. Before I started working on healthy ways of expressing love I definitely could of fallen into the category of love bombing. I truly truly believed this person I had just met was my soulmate. I truly believed I love him. I complimented him highlighting everything I saw in him. It was a lot. I pushed him away with my intense affection he thinking it was impossible for me to truly feel that way so soon. I was unbalanced and unaware of a lot of things about me. I couldn’t let him go and wondered if he was a narc because he would always return but nothing would change I then saw that nothing changed because I hadn’t and labeling him anything just got in the way of me focusing on me. I’m Believing I attracted him to bring light to and help me become more aware of my own issues. Anyways I just felt like sharing. I’m thinking these can describe a narc but I also believe these things aren’t so black and white just my perspective tho. Yay for growth!

    • @TMarie-gb3of
      @TMarie-gb3of 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      On point Annie! Same page as me. I'm thankful for the lesson... Finally because I'm close to 50. Kuddos to you for learning & growing too! 😘

    • @AnnieSingz
      @AnnieSingz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@TMarie-gb3of I’m so happy for your growth. 😊

    • @esthergrindle8056
      @esthergrindle8056 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It's awesome that you realized yoy needed to work on yourself and have been doing the work. Self improvement requires a lot of time and effort. It's hard work and you have to truly want it to stick with it and see results. I don't know you but in a way I'm proud of you for that and for admitting that about yourself. Thank you for sharing

    • @AnnieSingz
      @AnnieSingz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@esthergrindle8056 thank u

    • @youglowgirl2106
      @youglowgirl2106 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You better go!!! Breaking that down the way you did...showing vulnerability and owning your ish...niceee! Good job on the self (aware) growth...

  • @helienwatson6626
    @helienwatson6626 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    I believe my husband of 18 years was a narcissist. I endured years of controlling behaviors. One thing I remember in the beginning when we were dating is that, besides him always trying to impress me, he made some very negative comments about women. But then added that I wasn't like that. I think that could be a sign to watch for--disrespectful comments or attitudes towards women in general. Even if it's not directed towards you in particular.

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know of a man| who can heIp you bring your ex back permanent within 2days without delay🌟✨✨

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wh'tsapp him for heIp🌈🌈

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468(☉。☉)!🌈🌈

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468(☉。☉)! it really worked I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up🌈🌈

    • @EllePlowPlow
      @EllePlowPlow 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yea it’s a control tactic commonly used by narcissists. It’s a boost to your ego because it’s placing you on a pedestal higher then whoever they are putting down and while at the same time encouraging you to fall in line with what they want from you by encouraging you to not be like what or whoever they are criticizing.

  • @edwardjohnson7034
    @edwardjohnson7034 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I just recently got LOVE BOMBED. Didn't know what was going on. NOW I DO. Our relationship fit exactly what you said to a tee. He was NARCISSISTIC and did EVERYTHING his way, disregarding MY needs. I wondered why we would break up several times. He blamed it on me every time. I would call and apologize, but now I realize, it was REALLY him. This last time, i
    Did not call him. Hopefully, he will stay away. This relationship was VERY hurtful, and I am glad I am finally moving on.
    THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing. 💟

    • @edwardjohnson7034
      @edwardjohnson7034 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      FYI....This was Karen's experience.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @jenniferhudson9484
    @jenniferhudson9484 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I have been married for 28 years to a man who treated me so special for a number of years only to find out that he is 100% narcissist and very mean also. Now he only complains about everything I say or do and I no longer want to be with, go with or talk with him. It’s all about him. He tells his friends and random people that I never do anything, that I either spend all day sleeping or on my phone. I am planning on going back to work, at the age of 72, in order to get free of him for good. I have to have 3 more back surgeries in order to do this. Please pray for me.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @moniquetrujillo7875
    @moniquetrujillo7875 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I'm totally being love bombed. I had kind of thought so but I'm positive now. Thanks for this video it helped me alot!

  • @christineplaton3048
    @christineplaton3048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    We need to see how they interact with others, how they work through problems with others. Do they have friends do they care about your family? If they cut you off from anyone in anyway back out. Don't ever be totally controlled or vulnerable. It's not good to lose your rights of income, ownership etc. If they can't trust you , you can't trust them.

    • @rhondajkestin
      @rhondajkestin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      WAY TRUE!!!! My 1st husband kept accusing me of lying and controlling him. I spent 23.5 years with him, and I began after 12 of those years, realizing that the reason WHY he accused me of those was because HE was guilty of them! But due to my religious faith, I couldn't divorce him. Fortunately, 11.5 years later, he was tired of my negative reactions to his behavior and he divorced me.🎉🎊🎭

    • @christineplaton3048
      @christineplaton3048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Rhonda Jean, I was unjustly accused also. Narcissists are a mess.. so they cover the infidelity by accusing or blaming others. They cannot admit their wrong doing. That's the Hallmark. Someone else made them do it.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @Bop89
    @Bop89 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Within a month of seeing this person, I took a short vacation and came back and he told me "Where have you been all of my life" ? I was shocked, cause we really had not gone on any real dates. Then over a few months of meeting in public places, the real person showed up with not so nice words!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Hope you find your the one!

  • @DanaD-er8dn
    @DanaD-er8dn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    30 years in the cycle for me, I wish this info was readily available back then.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @lisavisetticabello695
      @lisavisetticabello695 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m 20 years int he cycle, I only just recently got to know about narcissism behaviour, and it all clicked at once…

  • @sarahsageluna8109
    @sarahsageluna8109 2 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    Thanks mat, I’ve been heartbroken for over a week now about this guy I was dating and wanting to let it go but energetically not knowing how. You mentioned the abrupt shifts and it got me thinking about how he did that after our 3rd date. He showed me his true colors and I stuck around because he has so many other traits that I loved. But he wasn’t genuinely in love with me or interested in me. He was just trying to control another thing in his life. This has given me something more to think about and added a piece to the puzzle for me in letting go and moving on to bigger and better things in my life. Thank you.

    • @ItsELE3
      @ItsELE3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      you are worthy 💛

    • @Catherine-vn1do
      @Catherine-vn1do 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am going through this right now 🤪

    • @kimberlylentz4350
      @kimberlylentz4350 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me too well kind of... I had a crush on this boy for like 2 months now and I didn't know if he was wanting to control me or he was actually in love with me I could not tell the difference so it really means a lot to make this video thank you!!!l😘😆😘😘🤩🤩🤩🤩

    • @Florencethomas405
      @Florencethomas405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sorry to say but their interest was never geniune or real to.begin with. All a lie

    • @recuerdos2457
      @recuerdos2457 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don’t think the narcissist would think and feel like you. I read that when dealing with them, we need to be assertive and stop explaining. Because they really master of gaslighting and passive aggressivers, you d be better off to communicate to them short and firm. Stay away from them and get yourself safe and have some peace

  • @gorcie
    @gorcie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    damn. I was love-bombed and stayed in a relationship with her for 8 years. I lost all my confidence and possibly a better future. I'm so glad I got out and karma might be smiling at me right now because I am being blessed with the kindest, most caring and thoughtful woman now whose love I trust. Life, from now on, will be beautiful.

  • @lisahenderson2313
    @lisahenderson2313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I wish I had heard this before my last marriage. When I thought he was being supportive he was actually trying to gather control. You made such valid points. It was all true. What was worse as I worked for years in sw helping others so seeing it myself was really hard.

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You & me both! Now he is destroying my entire life thru divorce! Financially- emotionally- social destruction.

    • @thedrflo4558
      @thedrflo4558 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m sending love and light and hope and healing!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks so much for your feedback! Wish you all the best. 🤗

  • @frances4773
    @frances4773 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    It’s so comforting to know there are men out there exposing Narcissist I am still trying to recover after five years from one after I left another one for 30 years. I’m well educated and I still can’t believe how damaged my mind is over these men but I’m getting better thank you so much it’s good to hear these words from a man

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new ❤️ I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

  • @tazaman2009
    @tazaman2009 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    You really should include future faking in that love bombing phase.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Great tip! 🙌❤️

    • @LinnLinnok-fe5tq
      @LinnLinnok-fe5tq 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He included that - kids naming, talking about romantic trips, “soul mate” talk, wedding talk….

    • @tazaman2009
      @tazaman2009 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@LinnLinnok-fe5tq it really should be said specifically because not everyone knows the definition of future faking.

  • @aliceglass6141
    @aliceglass6141 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    This was eye opening! Thank you. Everything I was feeling in my last relationship has now been validated. The last few weeks before I split with him I felt that switch and I saw all that had been going on. I thought he was my person and then the whole energy dynamics shifted. It was very strange. Thank you for this video 😘🙏

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new

  • @lichiehrb
    @lichiehrb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He wasn't real and he isn't coming back. Damn...
    Thank you.

  • @everydayisnew1831
    @everydayisnew1831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Thank you for this. I didn't realize that even men who aren't narcissists do this too. This clicked for me. ❤️

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      So glad my content supports you :)

  • @bagsarepacked8753
    @bagsarepacked8753 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    What a wonderful topic to do a video about! I was in a 15 year long marriage Looking Back Now in the first 67 years I could see little things where he was testing things to see what he could get away with. At the time it was subtle and I didn't notice it. About 7 years in he did such a drastic change over the course of a couple months I thought I was going crazy or someone replaced him with another person. I convinced myself that's not who he was he would not have been able to hide it for so many years from me and that he just needed help. So I spent another six years getting abused in every way there is to be abused, before I could see who he really was oh, I was always a very strong independent woman and if things would have been like that I would have walked away without a second thought. I can now see that he waited until I was in a very broken bone horrible place to let that side of him come out. I think this video will help a lot of people out there in the situation I was in. Another thing I ignored that would have been helpful oh, the people in your life that you trust listen to them and ask them what they see I ignored so many people whose opinion I value who could see what I couldn't. If there's anyone in that spot right now there is light at the end of the tunnel and life can be truly beautiful again. You are beautiful amazing and unique and there is someone out there who will love you in a way that makes you free

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Many thanks! It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new ❤️🤗

  • @andrewhooves3988
    @andrewhooves3988 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You earned a new subscriber. I just met someone a few months ago and I was worried if I was lovebombing her. And I notice she’s starting to fall for me. I also notice myself feeling more secure and less dizzy.
    I thought you’re supposed to sustain that feeling forever. But I choose to love this woman for no other reason than I want to. I love doing little things for her. I love affirming her. I am not pissed or upset when she’s mad or makes a mistake because she’s such a good communicator
    She says our relationship feels healthy and fulfilling. This video chilled me out so much and motivated me to continue to do nice things for her because love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice and it’s an action.

  • @k.prince6799
    @k.prince6799 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you very much! This makes so much sense. 🎯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amazing! love hearing that!

  • @nicolepennamacoor2884
    @nicolepennamacoor2884 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I very rarely comment on videos. But I love watching you Mat. It is like listening to a good friend who just wants the best for you. So thank you for your videos. I did not understand love bombing until a recent experience. I am still a bit unclear as to whether I experienced real love bombing or just a confused and emotionally wounded man, but this video educated me on red flags to look for in the future. And Thank you Mat for that last point about not letting the fear caused by toxic situations to stop you from experiencing meaningful, loving relationships. Coming from first hand experience of shutting myself down for four years, it was not worth the pain unless you are actually doing the deep self healing work. I am also trying to learn not to carry these experiences with me into the next relationship. Some stuff may come up and you have to face it, but try not to let those fears stop you from connecting however is healthy for you. Leave the past in the past and know that it does not have to define your future. Just a reminder for anyone else who needs to hear it today. Thanks again, Mat! Great video!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Thank you for your kind words Nicole, they truly touch my heart! We get to stay open to love and believe that it’s possible, and trust our DISCERNMENT to guide us 🤗🤗

    • @edwardjohnson7034
      @edwardjohnson7034 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      In life when you have bad experiences, try NOT to ever be a VICTUM. It's never healthy being a victum even though you feel like you are. They have the problem, not you.

  • @hhunstad2011
    @hhunstad2011 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for putting this out there!

  • @inezhollmann5135
    @inezhollmann5135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    These are so helpful Mat

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy I could be of help.

  • @heatherluszczyk4329
    @heatherluszczyk4329 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Excellent video! I would add that changing plans on the person and/or declining plans will trigger a toxic person. They will scramble to manipulate and gain control again. Additionally, talking about their behavior that doesn't work for you will greatly trigger a toxic person and they will turn the tables and villainize you for pointing it out. A healthy person will listen to understand and respect boundaries.

  • @coralfincken7719
    @coralfincken7719 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Just ended a 2½ year relationship, because my gut was telling me it wasn't correct and he wasn't being truthful with his actions and words. You've just explained why I felt that way.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m so glad this helped you!

  • @aperez3584
    @aperez3584 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This has been a very big question that I would really want to be answered. Thank you so much, Matt.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      YESSS you got it my dear!! so glad this supported you🙂

  • @karenmeenagh5512
    @karenmeenagh5512 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That was really helpful, thanks so much for sharing. Fabulous 👌

  • @kathybrown1064
    @kathybrown1064 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thanks for sharing this, I really needed to see it today, I appreciate your incite and this invaluable info.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So glad it supported you! 🙏🙏

  • @epipany3677
    @epipany3677 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of the best videos, thank you!

  • @bettyhare8598
    @bettyhare8598 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    ThNk you. There seems to be a very fine line between the two.

  • @aquariusense
    @aquariusense 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    All 4 points right on point!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m happy this resonated with you

  • @ames2727
    @ames2727 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Mr. Matt, for these videos! This one was really needed for me recently. Thank you so much!!!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      You're very welcome! Happy to help!

  • @verycherry4459
    @verycherry4459 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was very eye opening and I had not seen this laid out like this before. Thank you.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @hevoskuiskaaja2008
    @hevoskuiskaaja2008 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for this important video Mat!

    • @user-ee4xu9lh4k
      @user-ee4xu9lh4k 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Amen!! Nobody can afford to not be taught this anymore.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy I could be of help.

  • @nelitzaamaro1882
    @nelitzaamaro1882 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Excellent in the way you show the difference between one & another. Great job!!!! Looking forward to hearing more from you.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @robertjames5418
    @robertjames5418 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good to see you Matt! Looking good :)

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @zanastrange1878
    @zanastrange1878 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    So right about the sudden hot & cold shift. I was a victim of Marriage Fraud. The description of the Love Bombing vs. True Love Growth is spot on. When the Shift happens and the rug is pulled out from under you & the manipulative abuse begins, the confusion is profoundly deep.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad my content resonated with you.

  • @melaniesehn9598
    @melaniesehn9598 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent information that I needed right now. Thanks!

  • @amandaharris7205
    @amandaharris7205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "ranch in Montana" 😂
    The universe brought me this video at the exact right time ♥️

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello there and Thanks so much for your feedback!

  • @suzannehammox1225
    @suzannehammox1225 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was very helpful! Thank you.

  • @LivingStoneHope
    @LivingStoneHope 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Fantastic Mat! I’m looking forward to your next training! The last one I came down with Covid the same day it started. I was just love bond hard-core by someone from high school. I’m incredibly proud of myself for disentangling myself from that situation and walking away. Yesterday! Thank you! 🙏😹😁

  • @brynndockstader6549
    @brynndockstader6549 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Another great video!!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Many thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

  • @kimberlymcrae9620
    @kimberlymcrae9620 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank you for this. You described my situation to a T, the lovebombing. 😞 it has been so hard. It is good to know, I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. It still hurts, a lot.

  • @LOVEundLEADERSHIP
    @LOVEundLEADERSHIP 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, Mat, good work! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻🙏🏻

  • @susanshaffer605
    @susanshaffer605 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Excellent content!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Amazing! love hearing that!

  • @brownsugacinn4332
    @brownsugacinn4332 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent video 💜 I needed this

  • @angelinaesposito3058
    @angelinaesposito3058 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have been watching all your videos. I am hooked because you are so highly full of wisdom and educated. Everything you say makes sooo much sense!! Thankyou for your wonderful sacrifice in helping people All over the world!!! 💝💚🏇🏇

  • @AnnaBurdach
    @AnnaBurdach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That video just made me to be more cautious when dating.. cheers Mat 🍻

  • @MsDivineSassy
    @MsDivineSassy 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Another great advice video Mat ! ❤️ ya

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad you liked it!! Thank youu

  • @emp9413
    @emp9413 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is so apt. It's so simple yet impossible to see until you're taught. This should be taught to all girls, would have saved me so much trouble.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy I could be of help.

  • @carmelrankin9362
    @carmelrankin9362 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You explained something that is real for me!!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks, Happy to help!

  • @kimouiyabrown9780
    @kimouiyabrown9780 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was awesome! Thank you so much.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @junehansen5220
    @junehansen5220 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for such great advice, really making sense right now!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @gertrudelisehahn2996
    @gertrudelisehahn2996 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You’re so spot on!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much! ❤️

  • @rustylee68
    @rustylee68 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    OMG! Why didn't i see this video years ago!! couldv'e saved myself years of stress!! Thank you Mat x

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Many Thanks:)

  • @DrYenta
    @DrYenta 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Really well done. Thanks.

  • @totalrelaxation9232
    @totalrelaxation9232 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is exactly the video ice been looking for.. omg.. Thank you!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      My pleasure! Happy I could be of help.

  • @shelleysanders9666
    @shelleysanders9666 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    His point about looking carefully to see if there’s a control issue is a good one

  • @nicolenicole319
    @nicolenicole319 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Excellent video ! I was just wondering about the differences of these !! I’m dating and want to be prepared … thank you !!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy I could be of help.

  • @ingridkhajeh8982
    @ingridkhajeh8982 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Yup lived through it in my marriage of 17 years. Later had a boyfriend but I recognized and ended it.
    Thank you so much for doing this video Mat.
    You are saving some of us from a ton of heartache and even abuse.
    Now been developing an LDR. Slower than molasses but over time we have both grown as people and spiritually.
    God bless and thank you

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      So glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 Many more to come!

  • @user-iq7fl1sg9o
    @user-iq7fl1sg9o 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video Mat, I wish I knew it before. .

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come!

  • @janetdam3762
    @janetdam3762 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great information!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @mirianconnors8316
    @mirianconnors8316 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you! Very important information!

  • @realthing1859
    @realthing1859 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for the precious advices ❤️

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @BeautifulBackRoadsMO
    @BeautifulBackRoadsMO ปีที่แล้ว

    I genuinely needed this. I've gotten so hopeless that I've swung different directions of absolutely done with men. Completely broken and hurt and not wanting to try again this video gives me some hope to contemplate. With a guide like this it gets to the root of my fear, not being able to spot and handle it early one, not trusting my instinct. This was a very clean cut way of spelling it out so I can see the difference in real time.

  • @funnygirlever
    @funnygirlever 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    New here, I'm here from Helena hart. I was watching a video you guys did together 2 years ago. Great video by the way. I'm here to learn and get at being myself. Thank you Mat for making all this time to helping us from all around the world! You're awesome! Thank you so much.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @thebeyer8321
    @thebeyer8321 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Excellent advice!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️❤️

  • @lisapurnell2064
    @lisapurnell2064 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video was very good!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you! Glad you like it!

  • @famousnobodyz8079
    @famousnobodyz8079 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you that was VERY important information. I totally agree 💯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @mariapap8962
    @mariapap8962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you for this video! 🙂My personal experiences with 2 narcissistists apart from the above - mentioned points were that, the questions one gets asked at the beginning of the relationship were to acquire information but not to really get to know the other person. Infact, the type of narcissists i dated only wanted to talk and boast about themselves (trying to create a false grandiose image). Another narcissistic trait is the word salad. Talking non- stop but not actually saying anything of substance, and the reason they do this is to deviate from or avoid any REAL, meaningful concersation which could lead to revealing their intentions or drawbacks.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new

  • @JB-pe2yn
    @JB-pe2yn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this video!

  • @wendyh.9363
    @wendyh.9363 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very informative. Thank you!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @bolotabr12
    @bolotabr12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your video came right on time.

  • @samorrowjohnson8114
    @samorrowjohnson8114 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hi Matt I don’t know if you read all the comments but thanks to your TH-cam videos I’ve made a friends with benefits for a little over than five years my actual boyfriend which I never thought could really happen thank you so much and I look forward to future videos

  • @SS-ly2bn
    @SS-ly2bn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    So timely! I’ve met a guy who is a writer and is quite good at expressing himself. It’s a little unnerving. So far what I’ve seen is intense early relationship stuff and not love bombing. I really needed the information provided here!

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know of a man| who can heIp you bring your ex back permanent within 2days without delay🌟✨✨

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wh'tsapp him for heIp🌈🌈

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468(☉。☉)!🌈🌈

    • @jamesoweredaba3403
      @jamesoweredaba3403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468(☉。☉)! it really worked I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up🌈🌈

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy to help!

  • @susandickson637
    @susandickson637 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for your video ... It helps a lot ..

  • @marciavernor1849
    @marciavernor1849 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Mat thank you so much for these tips your discussed about true vs love bombing relationships. 🤗💜🌹

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so welcome! Happy I could be of help.

  • @RaenydaizeandSONShine
    @RaenydaizeandSONShine 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very helpful. Thank you

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @casperinsight3524
    @casperinsight3524 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Great advice 🎯
    Be mindful of his actions expressing his words over time
    Consistency is key and trust your Intuition

    • @casperinsight3524
      @casperinsight3524 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Do ppl really fall for those phony what's app advice posts ...really ?!?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      That's right!

  • @thusharividanagamachchi9779
    @thusharividanagamachchi9779 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Very well defined. Thank you. We who attract narcissists and toxic male types must stay awake to our own experience of passive giving and use it as a way to evolve from our own psychological programs and use it for our evolution and your advice helps in this process. 🙏🥰

  • @annikohaness673
    @annikohaness673 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are absolutely right.

  • @stayhappylittlemermaid
    @stayhappylittlemermaid 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The future will be tough, but I have the confidence that we can surely overcome. We can do it. We'll be able to.

    • @Micahictv
      @Micahictv 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for your positivity dear

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @janeeyre9385
    @janeeyre9385 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for your interesting words
    👍🙏😊

  • @shayleenwebb4021
    @shayleenwebb4021 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was amazing!

    • @salimbishir7455
      @salimbishir7455 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Send a message to this number if you want your ex back

    • @salimbishir7455
      @salimbishir7455 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ☦2349155400961⏭⏮⏭⏮

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @abeerfarooqi5963
    @abeerfarooqi5963 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very nicely explained

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Aw thanks you’re making me blush;)

  • @maggieechevarria1171
    @maggieechevarria1171 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You were excellent...very meaningful important information

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much 🙂

  • @patriciaearley4177
    @patriciaearley4177 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great Video thank you 🙏

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      So glad my content supports you :)

  • @MarabelleBlue
    @MarabelleBlue 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I wish I found you in 2017 - I would have avoided so much aggravation. Instead of feeling I was in a relationship, I felt I adopted a small and spoiled child. A little man who had extreme narcissistic issues. In a week he claimed he was in love with me. Online it was great, in real life it was a disaster. Glad he is out of my life. 😡

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wonderful! I’m so glad this helped you!

  • @annmoore8696
    @annmoore8696 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you Mat 💖

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You are so welcome

  • @adelinanilsson875
    @adelinanilsson875 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much sharing ur video!! I can get some positive ideas from you!! My life is so complicated.....a long story!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      YESSS you got it my dear!! so glad this supported you :)

  • @lenabatista7482
    @lenabatista7482 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Looks like I found a new interest to read upon.
    Interesting. I have the hunger for knowledge and I just can't seem to get enough of it. 😊

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Interesting! You got this

  • @naisolanellius9849
    @naisolanellius9849 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You have talked to my soul thnx a lot am glad I watched this

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      Your kind words touch my heart

  • @2510aggie
    @2510aggie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I wish I'd have seen this video last week.
    This explanation finally makes sense. I think I just let go the best thing that could have happened to me.
    Now I don't have peace at my decision.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new

  • @crystaldance5731
    @crystaldance5731 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks as always mat for clarifying this I must watch it aqain ❤️😊

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are so welcome!

  • @helenzielasek1812
    @helenzielasek1812 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brilliant!!!💙

  • @pamelalyon1030
    @pamelalyon1030 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That is exactly right everyone needs to know love and know it's real Amen