Bowser's military hierarchy | Unraveled
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ค. 2024
- Bowser needs to organize his military or else he might be committing a war crime. Brian David Gilbert is here to help solve his hierarchy.
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UH OH: store.dftba.com/collections/polygon/products/god-has-cursed-me-for-my-hubris-and-my-work-is-never-finished-mug
finally, we can relate to BDG in mug form as opposed to all other forms
O h my g o d
I love that the font is so fancy and calm
wot
I need this mug.
The real victim of this series is the printer Brian uses.
DPadGamer you have obviously never worked at a school. Printers are absolutely war criminals
@@jayg9283 the one at my school has ptsd i think and it breaks down all the time poor guy
it has PTSD
agreed
Is the song in the background Manhattan beach march?
can you imagine playing trivia with this guy? you get a section on military or something and he's like "I got this, I read through the entire Geneva conventions once for a video about Mario."
Samuel Lasky
MVP right there.
@RENEE PARK Imagine this guy walks into a restaurant and points out there’s technically an OSHA violation, someone asks why he knows that, and his only answer is “Super Smash Brothers”
Lol
@@lollylemur5041 lmao
@@lollylemur5041 how tf do you know that?
Willie Wonka
I love the implications that goombas can just cheese their way up through the ranks by just stacking on top of each other
Its actualy weird, they pretty much fuse theyr brains doing that
"Yeah boss, we're totally a completely new and intelligent creature now that we've stacked on top of each other and formed a miniature hive mind!"
That’s a good idea. I’ll get me and four of my mates, we buy a comically large trenchcoat, apply for the military, and it’s smooth sailin’s from there.
The equivalent of 2 kids in a trenchcoat
@@ratgobbler thank you for your service Soldier*
Sun Tzu is this great military strategist, but his advice is basically, "If you think you might lose, try not to do that" and "Consider lying"
And it WORKED
That's the thing. The Art of War was written in the style of philosophy, since that was very, uh... for lack of a better word, "trendy" among China's nobles, and since the nobles led the armies, they'd often focus on philosophy instead of military strategy but still think that they were military geniuses. Sun Tzu wrote the Art of War so the generals could propose sacrificing short term objectives for long-term gains and not have those plans immediately shot down because they could quote things like _Sacrifice the Plum Tree to preserve the Peach Tree_ to their lords.
That's why all of the stratagems in the Art of War are incredibly basic--they're extremely basic military strategy, dressed up as advanced philosophy.
@@ladywaffle2210sun tzu, not only a great military strategist but he also understands the psyche of idiots.
Also he wrote his stuff around 500 BC so it’s not like everybody knew “hey flanking is a thing” or whatever
@@bringbacktherevolution1064Lest we forget Sun Tzu's often forgotten 14th principal of war "When in doubt, tactical nuke"
@@bringbacktherevolution1064uh yes they did lmao
2013: Mario is a psychopath.
2019: Mario has committed at least 5 war crimes.
Don't forget Mario is a communist.
Man matpat sure researches everything and taught me that sibling rivalry is the same as arson or murder
@@theorangeguy6704 Boy that MatPat sure screws up a lot. Remember when he thought Sans was Ness? I don't even hate the idea but, how did he miss that bone is organic?
@@Silverwind87 I mean, sure, no one is saying Mario doesn't have some points in his favor, but I feel like him being a war criminal outweighs those good aspects.
@@GroundThing _*We_ mean
_*we_ feel
I'm personally insulted that you think King Boo even thinks about listening to Bowser.
Like. He's his own man. What's Bowser gonna do if he ignores him? _Kill him?_
This is underrated
This is possibly the best comment on this video
I'm pretty sure they're just allies
@@inesgeorge2509 they are allies only because they want to take out the Super Bros, with Luigi stealing King Boo's people and Mario being a war criminal. It's a tense relationship
Greetings fellow vFlower pfp.
The comparison between Bowser’s and the US Military is made even funnier with the fact that Bowser is shown to own an oil company in Mario Kart 8
So THAT'S why he wants to invade the Mushroom Kingdom!
Yeah I lost it
“Hey mushroom kingdom... that oil of yours needs a little... freedom...”
No bowser doesn’t have as many guns but he does have tanks
LMAO
"... oh my God, they're civilians"
That's the level of epiphany a General has in a war movie after he realizes that he's on the wrong side of the war lol
Also, for me, the most hilarious part of this video.
Or the subconscious of anyone on the US drone program
Sweet heart there's no right side of a war.
@@dnatwister7t272 True, but there is certainly a worse side and a worst side
nice pfp
“God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished” is such a good line
It’s basically the tag line for the entire Unraveled series
It reminds me of when Arin Hanson dropped the line “flowers are only beautiful because they wither” in an episode of Game Grumps out of fucking nowhere.
@@RJD-kf1xz But, diamonds and gold are beautiful and they don't wither.
Tom Hill They’re beautiful because they’re unachievable to us
2:27
"i don't think nintendo would actively create a war criminal"
{five minutes later}
"mario is a war criminal"
Kay “Actively”
@@fuckgandor We want answers, Miyamoto.
They are a Japanese company afterall...
Child abuser snake
@@zaclegoattack It's only a war crime if you lose. American newspapers at the time reported on United States soldiers taking Japanese skulls as trophies, and there are many firsthand accounts that corroborate this. This behavior was only VERY rarely punished, and to this day there are still efforts to repatriate the remains of Japanese soldiers that were taken as trophies by US servicemen.
The fact that the dry bones are in the military suggest that after being killed by Mario they enlist to get revenge on the man who killed them
Now that a real attack of the dead men
Or their term of service isn't ended upon death. Besides, we all know Bowser uses conscripts en masse for his army.
HEAVE HO THEIVES AND BEGGERS, NEEEVVERR SHAALLL WE DIEEE
@IS-2 Heavy Tank *Wilhelm’s forces on the hunt*
@@hirschmeistr6842 *There's a thunder in the east*
I wouldn't say the Goomba are even soldiers. They're cannonically former citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom who willingly went to Bowser to escape mistreatment from the Toads.
On top of the fact that their voices are annoying as hell, the Toads are FASCISTS??
Wait how did you get this info
@@quirkyqwertyto1055
Apparently it's part of the instruction booklet for the first game.
So you’re telling me the toads forced the koopas to leave.
ARE THE TOADS RACIST AGAINST KOOPAS
@@johnballard3403 i just read the wiki, and it says that the goombas were the traitors, not the toads. Although i won't act confident untill i see something about it in the movie or manual itself
8:15 "Will i become dry brian when I die?"
"Is living bowser, wet bowser?"
"Why do pirahna plant have bone in it?"
boneless piranha plant
@ If it's alive it'll just flop around, if it's dead it's just a pot with dirt and some dead leaves.
Rehydrated ganon.
I freaking died laughing out loud when he said that
@@IrvingIV *remember to stay hydrated*
Yoshi is JUST hatched out of an egg when Mario wrangles him as a mount. That's another child soldier to add to his war crimes.
But he does hatch in his adult form, suggesting that Yoshis experience childhood while still in their eggs.
@@oneofmanyparadoxfans5447 Some however need to be fed in order to mature, which I'm not entirely sure what that says about their metabolism and development.
@@emdivine Possibly a subspecies, either that or they hatch in the early to mid pubescent stages of life and reach maturity shortly thereafter with a proper diet.
@@oneofmanyparadoxfans5447 Well in Smash Bros an egg is also Yoshi's shield, so maybe they can just form an egg around them for protection. (Given we are considering smash as canon)
Yoshi:This guy freed me from my egg! I can go home-
Mario:LETS A-GO YOSHI!!
Yoshi:how does he know my name? And why does he want to ride me?
the speaking gradually developing into singing and the 'IN THE NAVY' get me every single time i love this so much
special mention to 'why do piranha plant have bone in it?' and the deadpan stare before 'so i'm loosely basing this on the us military' and also obligatory mention to 'god has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished'
I also love the inclusion of the funny parade
If boos are apart of bowser’s infantry, then that means Luigi has war hostages hidden in the poltergust
Now that was self defense since it was a trap
Actually, since the boos are soldiers, Luigi is just forcefully detaining them. In Luigi’s Mansion 1, you even go back to the lab to put them in what could be described as a proper POW camp.
Ironically, your argument disproves itself because it’s only hostage taking if they’re civilians.
@@aidenmcknight2884 That argument falls flat twice because most of them are brainwashed by King Boo, after they aren't brainwashed they should be treated as civillians
Considering the leader of the Boos is KING Boo, it sounds less like they are Bowser's minions and more like they're the minions of a different ruler who occasionally collaborates with him.
@@Ponera-SamaI think Bob ombs and boos are other armies but are close with Bowser so they do TH-cam collaborations (lol)
imagining brian asking all of his coworkers to join him in a sing along about the pain of war from the perspective of mario characters is the funniest part of this episode
the best part is you know they were like "yeah, this isn't entirely unexpected, let's do this"
"hey so i had an idea"
imagining it as a work email made me cry scream ugly laugh
@@MyChocolateLove interoffice memo
It's Polygon. That's probably the most normal thing that happened all day.
Can't wait for the "How long Mario should be in prison based on the number of crimes hes committed" episode
Mario "I did not know what i was doing i was just told to carry out orders" Mario
It was self defence in many cases, but how much that changes is unsure to me
Someone get Legal-Eagle on this.
DelphanGruss yessss 👏🏻👏🏻
Well, that's a long list to go
- Numerous murder of minors (Koopa Kids and Bowser Jr. to say the least. Let's not count Ma' Goomba and Ma' Blooper kids since they're artillery. Spinies, however, are not counted as minors because there is no official way to confirm Spinies are Lakitu's children): at least a life sentences for each koopaling killed, times 3 for all the games they appeared starring Mario, counting main line games only = 24 life sentences
- Even more murder of soldiers in their own work exercise (Toads count as well because , following SMB's lore, they were transformed into bricks) = 105 life sentences to say the least.
- Contempt towards the castles in Super Mario World: 3 years * 22 (counting fortresses and castles in the special world as well) = 66 years of imprisonment.
- Child labour (almost all his companions in both Paper Mario and TTYD): 3 to 10 years for each companion * 9 Minors between his party members (Vivian doesn't count since she's a ghost) = 27 to 90 years of prison
- Animal cruelty (for all the times he dropped Yoshi into a pit): this one would be the lightest, because it would only cost him from 5 to 18 months of prison, but multiplied to all the times that he has done it, we're talking years.
You forgot that Bowser's kingdom is a monarchy. They don't seem to have a Modernized army (with modern structures and hierarchies) They are structured into vassal support. Notice how many kings there are on Bowser's army, they don't act in a direct subordination, but they are types of private armies giving suppor to their big pal Bowser.
so theyre like the ottoman empire?
So basically bowsers still has feudalism
There was a Paratroopa in Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam that referred to Bowser as a dictator.
@@paperluigi6132
That's PROPAGANDA!
@@paperluigi6132 Would you be so kind as to give this individual’s name? Traitors to crown must be dealt with accordingly….and to withhold information is itself an act of treason. Choose wisely, human. It may just save your life!
“I don’t think Nintendo would actively create a war criminal and then put him in a go-kart with a baby. “
This is top-tier forshadowing
13:27
“Mario has committed at least 5 war crimes” is a sentence I desperately needed to hear but never knew it
Hi. I really like this comment and would like to like it. But it's currently at 666 likes and I thinks that's pretty neat
He's also used as incendiary weapons in civilian areas.
Fiona TheDog you're safe now
@@asparagusnoodle thank you good sir
'.........oh my god, they're civilians.'
I honestly thought he said, "there're civilians," and had hunkered myself down for him to rip everything up and start over.
"And they were civilians..."
Nah man it clearly states that civilians are to have their collision damage set false so they end up less likely confused with soldiers and that civilians should not be able to obtain collision damage as it puts many other civilians in danger
It seems like a dark version of “oh my god, they were roommates” vine
It’s funny cause based off of nintendo’s official narrative, the blocks are actually cursed denizens of toadstool realm or something, so the “destroying property for financial gain” actually counts as double war crime cause it’s killing civilians
I love that the Marshal for each division is just a regular ass animal
Ever heard of gorilla warfare😅
@@karicrouse2931 Where a bunch of monkeys fight? Can't say I have. Definitely heard of guerilla warfare though
@@ReksratYTBpretty sure that was the joke they were making, dude
@@ahobbit1273 I'm aware
the delivery of “...so i’m loosely basing it on the us military “ gets me every fucking time
Sounds like the set up for an overused joke
The us military is loosely based on the French military with elements of English and Apache.
Eh from the characteristics listed he could have based it on North Korea. This was clearly politicised
Still a great video
@@vulpes7079 Some of the best jabs are at political or civil topics
@@TrueFlameslinger cool. That changes nothing
"Why do piranha plant have bone in it?" is such a gem
Piranha plants are no longer plants but organisms that evolved to have plant like features to blend in the surrounding environment, apparently. Seriously WHY DO THEY HAVE TOUNGS, NO ONE HAS MENTIONED THIS BEFORE BUT THEY HAVE A FLESHY MASS THAT IS THEIR TOUNGE!
@@brece5452 How else are they gonna menacingly lick their giant luscious lips.
@@Loudoan oh i did not enjoy reading that
I hated reading that, why did you make me read that. That single line was more disturbing than the fact that the mountains and hills in Mario games are technically animals because they can move and have functional eyes.
what the actual frick goes through your minds when you play a mario game, like you see a mario hill and go like "ah enslaved vision" no just..... no...
It's been 4 years and We Are The Toads still goes way harder than it should
I am revisiting this video (as so often) and the line about "I don't think Nintendo would create a war criminal" coming back full circle is just poetry.
Elaborate
@@calamaribowl8683 he uses the line as a set up and pays it off with "Mario is a war criminal"
Game Theory: Mario is a sociopath, OMG!
BDG: Mario has indelibly violated the Geneva Convention on multiple accounts and should be held accountable for his reign of terror.
This is why BDG is so much better than Game Theory.
@Emilio Pena mathew pathrew wishes he had half the braincells bdg uses to sneeze
Why not both?
@@nickywalcott1204 Exactly! The sociopathy explains why Mario is so willing to commit war crimes lol
@Emilio Pena I'm just saying that BDG is far more entertaining.
I don't remember who said it, but someone once said that Brian is like "the second coming of Griffin Mcelroy, even though we're still in the middle of the first coming of Griffiin McElroy, which is the most Griffin McElroy part of it all" and that feels appropriate
I feel the same way.
Brian David Gilbert is the first and only coming of Brian David Gilbert. I don't think they can be compared.
@@wwren Their humor is pretty different yes but it's undeniable that both of them produced(ed) the best series on this channel. (debatably the only good ones at all)
Oh hey, I was the person who said that! Thanks!!
I sort of think of him as the Tim Rogers of Polygon.
This is one of the standout episodes of Unraveled. The interplay between funny Mario names and real breakdowns of military corruption is hilarious, and then it ends with "We are the Toads", one of the highlights of Polygon as a whole.
Where does he “breakdown military corruption”? He kinda just gets enlisted rank structure wrong.
@@loafofmilk7680 he did say Loosely basing
“His father took a bullet for Bowser back in the Korean War”
Brian 2019
Bowser's new hierarchy:
- Bowser himself
- The rest of Nintendo of America
Underrated comment
BOI 👋
Yep
Goodbye Reggie, and thank you for everything.
This made me laugh more than it should have.
The best joke was the timing on breaking into the Navy song and immediately cutting it off
eyepoo 8:34
Agrees
bdg just simply starting that song recruited me into the navy
IN THE NAVE
Is Davy still in the Navy?
"And by harms way I mean in front of Mario" is still one of my favorite quotes ever
Watching this the seventh time and seeing all the beautiful pieces of foreshadowing:
"And by harm's way, I mean in front of Mario"
"I don't think Nintendo would actively create a war criminal and then allow him to sit in the back seat of a go-cart with a baby"
Just, **chef's kiss**
There are... so many quotable moments. My faves are probably:
"They come to me in my dreams, like a prophet receiving visions from an angry god."
"Because God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished."
"Is there an analogous military that is somewhat bloated, often antagonistic, and seems to be the only thing the leadership cares about funding? Unfortunately, I couldn't find any real-life examples of this.... [blank stare] So I'm loosely basing this on the U.S. military."
"His father took a bullet for Bowser back in the Korean War, so now he's a general."
"Because not even death can excuse you from service in Bowser's army."
"Why do Pirhana Plant have bone in it?"
"You might remember him as that helpful guy who picks you up in Mario Kart, but he actually got his start in carpet bombing."
"Despite what he's written in his memoirs, he's never been in active duty and is a valor-stealing bastard."
"Oh my god, they're civilians."
"Mario has committed at least 5 war crimes."
"Get fucked, Mr. X."
LOOK AT THIS GALOOMBA
Dont forget "ITS THE FUNNY PARADE!"
I love this.
"When I die, will I become Dry Brian?"
That deadpan look at the camera before saying the US Military killed me
Brian, we suck. It's Polygon. You can just say it.
As a veteran, I was already crying laughing before he said it.
I wouldn't call it overly-aggressive. I'd also say its spending is justified, considering what it has to compete with (China, Russia, North Korea) and what's at stake if it fails.
@@combativeThinker oh I absolutely would considering our military has destabilized at least 10 different countries across the middle East and central and south America, spends billions of dollars on jets that don't even work, and positions itself as the "sole good superpower" or whatever despite most of Europe, Canada, etc being able to effectively fall into that role. Like. It can't all just be on us here, and if we'd pull our heads out of our asses and let other countries do some of the work maybe our general infrastructure wouldn't be so shitty because we'd allocate more funds to it. (Like have you seen the breakdown of the national budget lately? Defense takes up upwards of HALF which is. Insane.)
Common misconception that Bowser understands that stealing hats is the most effective form of warfare. In fact, like many militaries, it's just one of many projects he's throwing at the wall to see what sticks, but due to the restart button he will never learn that's the achilles heel of our portly plumber. Should he ever figure this out, Mario games will become a living hell.
All of the Unraveled episodes are good, but I've never realized how especially funny this one is
Unblinkingly staring into camera
"So im loosly basing this of the united states military."
That and the placement of an employee-owned business as the best boss in Dark Souls has convinced me that BDG has committed himself to lowkey leftist propaganda, and I couldn't be more excited.
Rowan B oh he definitely has
Stop 👏United 👏States 👏imperialism. 👏
Code ah come on
I need to get paid
this line alone made me subscrive and like the video
Bowser: *looks at peach*
Mario: ‘I will make the Geneva conventions in to a fucking checklist if you don’t sto-‘
I love this so much
this is a fucking gem ahahahaha
I will-a make-a the Geneva conventions in to a fucking check-a-list if you don't sto-
Ok but to be completely fair with Mario he lives in a world where reviving yourself is as easy as taking a jog and finding random green mushrooms. I’m sure the Koopa Troop has a large plethora of 1 ups to revive their stomped on soldiers. (I mean, it’s probably the reason Bowser isn’t dead yet, with his constant lava bath’s)
Best comment lol, wish some sort of awards existed on youtube.
I just love how BDG is talking about Mario's various war crimes while Snow Spike is in the background just chillin
This guy voiced the Winter King in Fionna & Cake.
"Steal their hats"
-- Sun Tzu
SUN TSU SAID THAT!
AND I'D SAY HE KNOWS A LITTLE MORE ABOUT FIGHTING THAN YOU DO, PAL, BECAUSE HE INVENTED IT!
@@Dipstikk he invented the art of hat theft?
@@wooby4104 TF2 bruv
@@HispanicMan oh, I apologize, I'm a normie :(
@@Dipstikk AND THEN HER PERFECTED IT, SO NO MAN COULD BEST HIM IN THE RING OF HONOR
"God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished"
Rest now Brian, your work is finished.
When God closes one brand of bullshit, another brand opens. Hopefully the future independent work will be extra fun for Brian.
Wait, did something happen?
@@gazelle_diamond9768 Watch the Pokémon Edibility video, my guy. And grab some tissues.
@@gazelle_diamond9768 he left polygon
*cuts hair unravelly*
The convention of Dry bones is actually much worse than you thought. Dry and wet cancel each other out. Dry + wet = normal. We also know dry = bones, and bones + flesh = normal. So what does this mean? Wet Bowser is only flesh.
Originally most enemies in bowsers army were civilians, it’s only after they were attacked that they start enrolling in bowsers army, and also I’m sure that bowser was just having a diplomatic meeting with peach
I really hate that he can sing
He’s too powerful
wut
it's true he's too perfect
if you like his singing, look up "the altogether", the band he sings in
also, "let's make a music", a comedy podcast where he also sings
He truly is a god among men.
@@VivianLynn8 you're a lifesaver omg
"I-a was only-a following-a orders."
Mario Mario during the W6-4 Trials before being executed via poison mushroom.
BUT WHO WAS GIVING THE ORDERS?
@@harperreese264 baby mario
@@harperreese264 Pink Gold Peach
...galoomba
@@harperreese264 Brian himself
Brian : *Oh my god they're civilians*
Also Brian : MARIO IS A WAR CRIMINAL
me: ill watch some old bdg polygon vids to forget about the current state of the world and be happy for a few minutes
bdg: /quotes the specific parts of the geneva convention which are being done right now and supported by major world powers
"When I die will I become Dry Brian? Is a living Bowser 'Wet Bowser?' Why do Piranha Plant have bone in it?" one of my favorite quotes of anything ever
@8:24
For you
@@a.f.g.o.o.e.a5806 stop
Refer to him as "Wet Bowser" again and i will turn the geneva convention into a bucket list
@@BobThePenguin. wet bowser
@@superduperlayne977 oh no!
After watching the .Mario Movie trailer, I came here to say: Bowser has stopped being a "ha ha, steal princess" and now is "Oh god, this guys taking over the world, I hope he compensates his soldier"
The Funny Parade actually works perfectly for the Thwomp’s brigade, seeing as the name will make anyone who hears about them think they’re chumps, only to be flattened into red sludge by a vicious brick with a face.
I wonder if Brian goes around in his daily life citing OSHA violations and Geneva conventions now. They're just sitting there in his head
Twisty Sunshine I can see him seeing a some what crooked chair or table and he begins, “this is a clear OSHA violation under article 6,, section 9, subsection 4, paragraph 2, line 20, that all ... etc etc”. Then his co workers stare at each for a few seconds then go back to work like it’s a normal Tuesday.
Jelly Kracken Now that was a good video
@@jellykracken4229 For some reason this brings to mind Red Dwarf...
'No employee shall be seen wearing red socks on the 3rd tuesday of October?'
'No! I mean Paragraph 3, obviously'
'I fail to see how ham sandwiches are relevant to this situation'
'No. NO. Section 8!'
'No-one shall tease a hamster on a public highway?'
'You know what? Forget it.'
Just the “they’re civilians” is full of so much horror it could be in a movie
"Honestly, they act more like civilians"...*abject revulsion slowly seeping in*
@@rainbowlemniscate2761
“Oh my God, they’re civilians…”
Update: Apparently, pinguins belong to a completely different kingdom, according to The Super Mario Movie trailer, unless they were overtaken, in which case, forget I said anything.
I think this is canon. The Mario trailer dropped and this seems accurate.
"...Not only that, but he has this tender leadership quality that makes him not only respected, but loved by his peers..."
*"...and then above him is a fucking T-Rex"*
As it should be in all military hierarchies
Is this not normal? What country do you live in?
@@memerman9268 Apparently, a country without Dinosaurs.
@@chaihill1837 there are countries without dinosaurs? Strange.
Because it’s a mother fucking T-Rex.
“Oh my god, they’re civilians.” Sounds like it would be from a dark wartime movie.
Scout: Sir, the soldiers we just ordered and airstrike on-
Protagonist: Yes?
Scout: It's just, they're acting weird. Like they aren't all carrying weapons. And they have children with them. Really, they're just picking over the corpses.
Protagonist: That sounds more like civilians than soldiers. Are you sure?
Scout: Yes, sir!
Protagonist: Oh my god, they're civilians.
Reminds me of Spec Ops: The Line and dropping white phosphorus on civilians
M U L A N
As a representative of the Arma 3 community.
Its only a warcrime when you can hear the screaming over the anthem.
That actually is word-for-word a line from Homestuck
I love how bdg is just killing it in the song and the chorus goes off key like twice.
“But baby Mario have the order” kills me 13:25
Was not expecting that ending holy shit
that really took me of guard
Yes
I'm looking forward to Brian's next album.
@@JordanGold5227 his band is "The Altogether". They released a full album about two months back, and they have a couple LPs. Look them up on Bandcamp or Spotify.
Seriously
Mario: "Geneva Conventions? More like Geneva Suggestions."
Oho NOOOO
Geneva Bucket List
"Raised in Mushroom Kingdom, Italy during an era when the Geneva Convention had been downgraded to an optional Geneva Suggestion"
@@Mouseybea great reference
The code is more what you’d call guidelines than actual rules
I read a post once that’s probably my favorite thing about Mario. You might think Bowser is sort of a joke considering how many times he’s failed to crank out a military victory over the mushroom kingdom. In reality he’s a god like being with legions of troops and almost infinite power who just can’t seem to take down this podunk hick kingdom. This is because of Mario who’s the equivalent of if Superman decided to stay in smallville and Lex Luther tried to take over.
Going back and watching unraveled again, I’m realizing more and more just how much of a creative genius BDG is
This man has too many talents wtf
Brian's niche yet extensive knowledge of video games is attractive
MagicFlyingMan Brian is attractive, period.
Purbinder keep it in your pants
@@Purbinder03 Yee. Brian's extensive attractiveness is attractive.
@MagicFlyingMan Amen
Polygon hiring this man was a freaking homerun he is a bloody comedy genius
They honestly struck gold
He one of the only good parts of polygon
I only visit this channel for his videos
i think he is an asset to the team, don’t you, sir?
I really want BDG to appear on my show. If I ever review Willy Wonka, he will cameo. I will go to the ends of the earth to get him to cameo.
0:48 that shot with the text behind him as he walks out of scene looks so good when it switches the camera angle
Rewatching this and not two minutes in, BDG tempts fate
another unraveled, another comment about Which of the 800+ pokemon would be tastiest because there's very clearly hamburgers and stuff canonically
miltank
mr mime
Please
This
lickytung
“Is a living Bowser a wet Bowser?”
Cereal when haves milk
NOW I get it!
fuckin carson lmao
It is hydrated or moisturized Bowser lol
@@lorlok623 Reptiles are already pretty dry.
IVE BEEN WAITING TO FIND THIS COMMENT
"Unagi is the most terrifying character ever rendered"
Mad Piano: Am I a joke to you?
Mad piano jumpscares. Unagi is the origin of my lifelong deep-seated thalassophobia. They aren’t the same
This is my favorite video of TH-cam. Thank you for your hubris and never being able to finish your work.
"Unfortunately, I couldn't find any real life examples of this"
"So I'm loosely basing it on the US Military"
I WAS DRINKING WHEN YOU SAID THAT JESUS CHRIS
Ah yes, my boi, Jesus Chris
jesus cris has risen
Juicy crust
No wonder he always be sipping tea.
Merry Chrismas
I'm not gonna lie, I returned to this video to double-check how the US naval ranking system works instead of checking an official source because I trust Brian to have done his research
an offical source is probably bogged down with ads to enlist and dense military jargon.
But here? you get to learnkEAT"INIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG
@@TheGreaterDane oh my god, they died without finishing their sentence
Wow
@@TheGreaterDane poor thing. walked straight into the electric fence
@@FriggenGrotRock Going to be completely honest, I do not fully remember leaving this comment
I like that this starts with “Nintendo wouldn’t put a baby in a go-kart with a war criminal” and ends with “Nintendo absolutely put a baby in a go-kart with a war criminal”
Holy cow, so relevant today D:
It's canon that the bricks were actually civilians before being magicked into structures by Bowser's henchmen.
Mario's not just commited war crimes. He's commited literal genocide.
Actually according to the guide in the first Mario game only the question mark blocks were toads before Bowser magicked them up. That's why they give coins and power ups when you hit them. Hitting them rescues the Toads and they thank you with coins and mushrooms and stuff
Jane is correct. There was a mistranslation for the term brick in the manual. Specifically, the question blocks are transformed citizens. Source: www.mariowiki.com/%3F_Block
Don't forget the power-ups, which could maybe count as chemical warfare.
@@hebxhn1203 I'm leaning towards "Bowser sees Mario as an equal" considering what he said in the Galaxy games.
I think the magic koopa the one with the wizard clothing is the one that changed the citizens into blocks.
The library of Alexandrea may have been burned down but it has been reborn in the mind of Brian David Gilbert
*Babylon
@@vr8652 I'm fairly certain they did mean Alexandria and not Babylon but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@vr8652 If you're referencing the short story of Jorge Luis Borges and it's philosophical implications, then I wholeheartedly approve
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@@moonlight_victory yes, it was that and how the supposed library had all the possible text combination in existence
“Steal their hats” and “Do them dirty in front of they dad”, my two favorite Sun Tzu quotes
Can’t wait to see these rankings come to life in the movie
it wouldn't be a great episode of unraveled without pat yell-laughing off camera
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"Steal their hats" - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My favorite quote from that after ‘do them dirty in front of they dad’
@@nastyleg4571 Lol came here to say this! "Do em dirty in front of they dad". - Sun Tzu, probably
"Sun Tzu said that."
- Soldier, Team Fortress 2
@@nastyleg4571 "do the dad dirty infront of them" - sun tzu
I think techno said quoted that during the potatoes wars.
Was actually expecting Brian to compare the military to North Korea, but damn. That US Military reveal certainly made me reflect.
I am curious about the implication that Bowser's nation fought in the Korean War. The question remains: on which side?
unraveled is what game theory wishes it could be
jesus christ
i said that months ago. sync!
yeah kind of accurate, brian just does what matpat did before turning to five nights at frongles and underdunder
What game theory used to be, or how I remember it before matpat found FNAF
Rei how dare you
I cannot imagine the conversation he had to have with his coworkers
"Hey so i need all of you to sing this song in a small crowd while i do main vocals and you cannot say no. Follow me."
"...what?"
Knowing them it was probably Jenna's idea and they were all super down
“We are the World” actually bangs in this situation honestly
ikr, lmao
Returning here right after the mario teaser
gotta be up to date in Bowser's army
For whoever or however the sections are made on the video: thank u so much for having the Naval Forces time stamp being exactly where he says “why do piranha plant have bone in it?” Replaying that single sentence brings me so much joy
I feel like the name of “Koopa Troopa” does imply that they are in fact soldiers in Bowser’s military, unless of course that name did not originate from within Bowser’s ranks, and instead is a name given to them as Mushroom Kingdom propaganda so that Mario’s killing of any Koopa is seen as justified in defense of the mushroom kingdom, as all Koopas are Troopas
oh no.. ITS NOT JUST MARIO ITS THE WHOLW H*CCIN' KINGDOME
I knew the mushroom kingdom was corrupt. They spread their lies anywhere they can, much like spores
Koopa troopa beams are gonna blind me
Theyre soldiers, but incompetent ones.
Fantastical racism as a military tactic by Princess Peach and her 7 fathers? I believe it
“Mario is a war criminal” *Game Theory has entered the server*
They called his bluff, guys. Mario's a criminal. Time to bring in the backup *calls MatPat*
MatPat: "yo bro quit stealing muh theories"
My
Gospel Churchj
Hell g
Polygon: *makes funny joke from the conclusion of the video*
GT: *takes joke out of context and tries to reverse engineer it into a theory*
Oh that’s nothing; Neopets once violated the Geneva Convention
The discussion of war crimes and specifically targeting civilians hits different in March 2024.
This man was on 5 layers of adderall during the making and research of this.
There is no other way a person could do something as impressive as this
Pat’s disembodied laughter is my favorite recurring bit in this series.
Pat is my favorite waifu in this anime
@@bepeplia5086 no
@@kingofallfrogs *yes*
It's not a bit, it's just genuine laughter
@@jstar3382 it’s very genuine, but keeping it in the edit is a choice and it’s a choice I love.
I literally died when he realized Koopas are civilians.
Death does not excuse you from service under the Koopa King
Mario claims another civilian victim. Will his reign of terror never end?!
But aren't Koopas civilians and Koopa Troopas the literal troopers?
Fun fact, when Mario jumps on a koopa, they don’t actually die, either he knocks them out of the shell or they go inside the shell and stay there for a while. Unless you do a super Mario world spin jump of course.
figuratively*
I like how the footage of bowser driving with a baby is literally his son
Actually.... 5 star General of the US Army (of which there's only been a small handful) is called "General of the Army." There's also a 6 star general, General of the Armies, only having been issued twice in history. First to George Washington posthomously in 1976, and again during WWI to John J. Pershing in 1919
Actually 1919 happened before 1976